The Premise (2021) s01e05 Episode Script
Butt Plug
It doesn't matter what I'm saying.
It's just, "Oh, that's
nice. He showed up."
[MUSIC]
The season finale of The Premise
is a philosophical fable
about the power of redemption
versus the drive for revenge
and whether it's possible for a
human being to outrun his fate
or rewrite his destiny.
It's called "Butt Plug."
[MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC]
We could dip into the
kids' college funds.
That's their future.
I know, but if we lose the house,
we're going to have to move out
of the school district, so
- I really think you should just
- No, no, no, no, no
What do you have to lose?
You're working on a financial
services company.
He is the biggest international
banking CEO
No. No.
I was terrible to him.
It's a shame in my life
how I treated that kid.
It was 30 something years ago.
- I would think he would forgive you.
- He shouldn't forgive me.
I wouldn't forgive me.
What did you tease him for?
[EXHALES]
You know, for whatever.
For being different,
- for being poor.
- For being poor?
Eli, he's one of the richest
men in the world,
of all the things in the world to
have a sense of humor about.
Look, that's what you should say to him.
How sorry you are.
How funny this is.
That obviously, this is karma.
That you ended up having to turn to him.
He'd never take the meeting.
Just reach out and see.
Swallow your pride.
It's not pride.
It's shame.
Nobody ever says swallow your shame.
Yeah, no, I agree.
It's a weird phrase.
[PHONE INTERCOM]
Eli Spector, he says
you grew up together.
Eli Spector.
After all these years.
No, no. To the contrary.
For you, I can make the time.
[MUSIC]
Hi.
[LAUGHS]
Um, wow.
Nice to, uh
- It's been so long.
- So long.
Obviously, so much has changed and
for you, especially.
You still live in Victory?
Yeah. Yeah.
I remember you were living
in this beautiful house
right next to Crystal Lake,
always in the newest, finest clothes.
Yeah, the, the
the place has changed, you know.
Not what it used to be.
Do you know the story
of the ship of Theseus?
[LAUGHS]
Never paid much attention in school.
A ship at sea over time has
its planks replaced one by one.
At a certain point after many years,
none of its planks are the same.
Is it still in fact the same ship?
[CHUCKLES]
[POOF]
I mean, uh
I just, uh
Your success, it just blows
me away, you know,
and then you really earned
everything on pure merit.
What is merit, when you
really think about it?
Inner qualities, outer influences.
Is any of that really merit?
Or are we just sailing blindly
along a scripted sea of fate
on a winding path that
would seem all too obvious
to anyone looking back?
Hey, man, I
I just have to get this
out of the way. I, uh
I feel terrible,
absolutely awful, um
about the way I was,
and, um
I just want a chance
to raise my kids right.
And, um
[CLEARS THROAT]
We were children, Eli.
We're different now.
And without those obstacles,
I wouldn't be who I am today.
It motivated me, Eli.
It still motivates me.
And the more success I have,
the more I realize that the
only things that really matter
are the elemental things,
the personal things,
like this lunch with you.
So
How can I help?
[EXHALES]
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
You've heard of the blockchain
and I've heard of the blockchain,
but 97% of insurance providers
have never heard of
I'd say no Stop, I'm sorry.
Um
You're still doing it.
Blockchain
You're still following what
the popular kids are doing.
You're better than that, Eli.
See, in business, I've
learned to not follow
what the popular kids are already doing
because the opportunity is
definitionally marginal.
If you want a transformational
opportunity,
you need to find something that
everyone else sees as worthless
and elevate it to something priceless.
Well, that, um
sounds very wise and, uh,
it's certainly worked
for you, so thanks.
Do you know what would
be of interest to me?
A butt plug.
A butt plug?
Just a butt plug?
No, not just a butt plug.
A great butt plug.
A butt plug the likes of which
the world has never seen.
A butt plug that once the world
does see it, changes the world.
If you were to bring
me that product, yes,
that would be of great interest to me.
You see, the difference between
your face and mine right now,
the difference between our
faces is the human definition
of an arbitrage opportunity.
That is profit.
I don't quite
Of course it would have to
be something extraordinary,
something that would require
your complete and total focus.
You would have to quit your project
and devote yourself full time
to developing a product
that would be worthy
of my consideration.
But if you did,
I would schedule a meeting
of the full board
of my company a year from today,
and you would have the full
and undivided attention
of me and my associates.
Sorry, are you saying
you want me to quit my job and
spend the next year of
my life developing a
butt plug?
Would there be a contract?
No, no contract,
no promise of any kind
other than a meeting.
No, you would be pursuing
this on pure speculation
based on the well-established
history I have of proposing things
that sound outlandish at first
only to be met with
unprecedented success.
This could be the next one of those.
Or it could be the worst
decision you ever make.
Of course, at the end of the day,
you don't bet on an idea,
you bet on a person, so
you need to place a bet.
You need to look into my
eyes and ask yourself
whether for a person in my position,
mercy is a stronger
satisfaction than revenge.
You can stay on the path
you're currently on,
or
drop what you're doing and come
to my office a year from today
with a butt plug that
will change the world
and your life along with it.
Um, what, ah
is a butt plug?
Sounds like you have
a long journey ahead,
and you've already taken the first step.
A butt plug.
I had to look it up.
Well
How hard is it to make a butt plug?
The way he wants to do it?
Take everything I've got.
There's no half-ass in this, Susie,
so to speak, I'd have
to quit the startup.
You'd have to take a second job.
Is he fucking with you?
What if he is?
What if he's not?
[PHONE RINGS]
Eli I'm glad to hear it.
Yeah, we'll be in touch.
[MUSIC]
One of the keys to a butt plug is
you don't want to go too small.
- Ahh
- Small ones fall out.
It needs to be wide enough
for the sphincters to grip
it and hold it in place.
[BACKGROUND CONVERSATIONS]
Got you.
[BACKGROUND CONVERSATIONS]
Fuck!
[TV] Oh, God. Oh, God.
[MOANS]
Uh, good, not great.
Uh, I feel like you're losing sight
of how the insertion goes.
Right. Right.
I definitely think material-wise,
metal is perfect.
It feels better in the
butt, in my opinion.
[MUSIC]
[MANUFACTURING SOUNDS]
[ALARM GOES OFF]
[RHYTHMIC MUSIC PLAYING]
My friend.
- Oh
- [LAUGHTER]
Oh, my God.
- Are you excited?
- Oh
I'm fucking terrified.
[LAUGHS]
Well, the whole board
is here as promised.
London, Dubai, Buenos Aires,
they all flew in from around the world.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Just for a butt plug. [CHUCKLES]
It's not just a butt plug, is it?
I asked for something transcendent,
something revolutionary,
something worth an hour of
my time and a year of yours.
You're not telling me now
that it's just a butt plug?
Everything I have is
riding on this butt plug.
Okay. The people you're about
to meet are my colleagues,
and in many cases, they're my friends,
but they are not my peers.
My peers are the other chairmen
of the world's largest companies.
You see what I'm saying?
We grew up shoulder to shoulder,
but we were not peers.
You see what I'm saying?
No.
I don't want an object whose
peers are other butt plugs.
I want a butt plug whose peers
are the other great objects
in existence.
Whenever you're ready.
My friends, thank you all for coming.
It's my great pleasure to
introduce you to Eli Spector.
We've known each other since childhood.
And the time has changed us all so much.
Uh [LAUGHS]
- None more than your chairman here.
- [LAUGHS]
Eli, it's a pleasure to introduce
you to the board of directors.
To your immediate left, with
the confident smile, is Sandy.
Sandy has led two Fortune 500 companies,
but her sense of humor has
remained very down to earth.
To her left is Alice.
Alice comes all the way
to us from London
and this is in fact her
first time traveling
since the loss of her husband.
My condolences, Alice.
The man with the generous light
shining through his eyes is Charles.
Charles and his partner Steven
run our charitable foundation.
Wonderful to meet you, Eli.
Thank you for the work you do.
And, of course, you'll
recognize Gail Truesdale.
Ambassador.
Troy is the youngest
member of our board,
a former Fields Medal winner.
That's a prize given out to
The most gifted statistical
analyst of his generation.
I'm well aware, Troy, or
if I may, Dr. Ozdemir.
Last but not least is Marcus 'The
Moneyman' Stevens, [CHUCKLES]
representing our emerging
investments arm.
Excited and pumped.
[CHUCKLES] All of us, Marcus,
all of us are very excited and pumped.
[CHUCKLES]
Eli.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'm here to present a butt plug.
Come on. Laugh.
Butt plug.
Come on, it's funny.
And those are funny words.
It's funny that I'm here, a stranger,
a total nobody standing
in front of all of you
saying, I'm here to present
a butt plug, right?
Come on, let's be honest,
when we hear a butt plug,
we assume it's a crude punch
line to a cruder joke or a
cheap accessory to a
cheaper experience.
That ends today.
[SWOOSHING SOUND]
How do you find the most value?
You search for that which
is the most undervalued.
One of the great financial
thinkers of our time said that.
In fact, that thinker happens
to be in this room right now.
But I want to take you on
my journey in finding value
in the undervalued today.
Now, the sex toy industry, is
a $50 billion a year industry
growing at nearly 25% a
year for the last 5 years.
Now, as Marcus will be
the first to tell you,
those numbers are enough to motivate
just about any company in the world,
but that's not this
company's philosophy.
Follow the magic and
the math will follow.
The world, since Daniel and
I were children, has changed.
And the inspiring story of our time
is the revolution we're living through
and our approaches to
intimacy and identity.
Once marginalized,
orientations and identities
are rapidly fighting
for representation and respect
in a more inclusive
society they're defining.
With that sexual practices once
trivialized and diminished,
with even harmless-seeming
mockery and jokes,
move from the shadows into
the sunlight of society.
-
- So, that leaves us with a great story,
but with all due respect to
the foundation Charles runs,
- you guys aren't a charity
- [CHUCKLES]
and a great past, but
you guys don't have a time machine.
You don't, do you?
[LAUGHTER]
No, what you want to
know about is the future.
Now, when we've seen this growth
parabola and comparable industries
that develop in tandem
with a cultural shift,
there's a fascinating commonality.
Whether it's computing
or high-end coffee,
a product at the center
of a cultural shift
reaches the exact point we're
at today when an object,
a singular object emerges that
hits the nexus between elite status
and mass appeal and powers the
leap from cultural uniqueness
to cultural ubiquity.
With coffee in the 1990s,
it was the Starbucks cup.
With computing in the 2000s,
it was the iPhone.
This point of no return
is when an industry
coalesces around its DSO,
its dominant singular object.
Where are you getting this
this theory of analysis?
This is my original analysis.
It's proprietary,
but I'd be more than honored to share
it with you if we work together
and apply it to all sorts of phenomenon.
But, um back to the bottom line
- [LAUGHTER]
- if you will
What will be that
object in this industry?
The Harvard Medical School Center
for Study of Sexual Practices
conducted studies
on every sexual and gender identity.
I obtained a researcher pass
to visit them and see what they learned.
Their conclusion was the obvious.
There is one anatomical point
with a far higher incidence
of sexual responsiveness across
all human beings than any other.
Not more sensitivity, mind you,
but more universally reported
sensitivity by a mile.
Why are the numbers so high?
Because it's a body part virtually
every human being has.
[LAUGHTER]
So, we've established the
potentially dominant universality
of this object in response
to one cultural shift:
sexual and gender identity.
But there's a second shift
we're experiencing:
the nature of intimacy.
The two fastest-growing
intimacy statuses
with which people self-identify are,
one, people who are
solitary by preference,
and two, people in a relationship
in which another partner
is not physically present.
Now, the object I'm presenting
today is not only an object
with near-identical responses
across all sexual
and gender identities,
it's also an object with
near-identical responses
across all intimacy identities.
That means, in intimate partnerships
as well as those without partners
or without partners physically present.
And Troy, you don't need
a Fields Medal to know
that when you overlay two growth curves,
the curves don't double, they grow
Exponentially.
But that's just the dominance of
a $50 billion a year industry.
Why quit there?
Stop. Stop.
I need a break.
[BACKGROUND NOISE]
- This is him?
- He is a madman.
- Oh, adorable.
- Come on.
Yeah.
So, we've established the
potential of this object
to ride this cultural
wave, right? But
how could it do something
more important?
How could it expand
the wave all together?
Let me start with an example
you might find amusing.
Vibrators are a $3 billion
a year business.
Not bad. Not bad.
You know what's a $7 billion
dollar a year business?
Hand-held personal massagers.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
I'll wait.
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
The point being, many consumers
need a cover story
to purchase an object designed
for sexual pleasure
which alone accounts for
enormous hidden numbers.
But what if their cover story
wasn't just a cover story?
What if this were an object that
provided relief to nearly
40 million people a year
who suffer from constipation?
What if it had a built-in
Wi-Fi-enabled camera
that could automatically
operate a colonoscopy
saving as many as 10,000 lives a year?
Do you think $599 is too much to charge
for a previously marginalized object?
I did.
So, I took it upon myself to
lead a dozen focus groups
all of which came to
the same conclusion.
Even though $411 is
the break-even point,
the price point the consumer
preferred wasn't $499,
$599, or even $799.
Customers want to pay
$999 for this object.
Because the extra cost
was what helped counteract
the stigma of a butt plug
and turn it into a genuine
"Veblen good."
Like a Lamborghini or a
bottle of fine cognac,
this is the type of good
where the customer
actually wants to overpay.
$1,000 bucks is a lot, but
it's my health, you know.
It's important.
Accounting for this astronomical
profit margin.
Incredible.
But what really makes something
worth it to a consumer?
If it's a great investment.
I know what you're thinking.
How could something like this
be a great investment?
Well, it would be if, say
it were made with zinc.
And if I had pre-negotiated zinc futures
with the government of Bolivia to
ensure that even a moderate order
hits a threshold that will drive
up the price of the metal so high
that anyone who owns the
object can rest assured
it will appreciate in value
whether or not they ever
take it out of the box
which I didn't.
Put another way, anyone
who owns this butt plug
can at any point in times
of financial emergency,
melt it down for parts
in case times get tight,
and make a substantial
profit on their purchase.
But I don't think they'll want to.
How do you find the most value?
You search for that which
is the most undervalued.
We all know what it's
like to be undervalued,
but I know both sides of it.
I undervalued someone.
I know I undervalued him not
because he went on to become
one of the richest men in the world,
but because when he had no reason to
he still gave me a project
to change the last plank on a ship.
Some say a man's character is his fate.
Others say fate is the joke a
man's life plays on his character.
Where are you getting this?
Revenge is the expression
of our yearning
to bend the chaotic world
towards balance, justice, logic,
but mercy
mercy has no logic.
It's the divine.
It's the expression of a universe
that makes no sense.
A universe that has something
when it should have nothing.
It's the spark of the divine,
of a new beginning out of nothing
with the potential of the infinite.
Anyway
that's what this butt plug means to me.
I'm curious to hear
what it means to you.
- You spent a year on this?
- Yes.
It shows.
Thank you.
Look, Daniel, brought us
in from all over the world.
He clearly wanted us
to be here for this,
and I can see why.
We're more of a financial
services company,
but the principles that
you applied to this
couldn't be more in line with
what we've been searching for.
We haven't done products here.
We've always had a
family-friendly brand.
But you have made a great case
as to why that might not rule this out.
I'm curious as to what Daniel thinks.
You can look me in the eyes and
tell me you put your entire heart
and soul
and vulnerability into
this presentation?
Answer carefully
Answer honestly.
Yes.
The answer is yes.
I'll tell you exactly what you
can do with your butt plug.
You can shove it up your ass.
[LAUGHTER]
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
Thank you.
[EXHALES]
How did it go?
Now I'll be the greatest
regret of his life.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
It's just, "Oh, that's
nice. He showed up."
[MUSIC]
The season finale of The Premise
is a philosophical fable
about the power of redemption
versus the drive for revenge
and whether it's possible for a
human being to outrun his fate
or rewrite his destiny.
It's called "Butt Plug."
[MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC]
We could dip into the
kids' college funds.
That's their future.
I know, but if we lose the house,
we're going to have to move out
of the school district, so
- I really think you should just
- No, no, no, no, no
What do you have to lose?
You're working on a financial
services company.
He is the biggest international
banking CEO
No. No.
I was terrible to him.
It's a shame in my life
how I treated that kid.
It was 30 something years ago.
- I would think he would forgive you.
- He shouldn't forgive me.
I wouldn't forgive me.
What did you tease him for?
[EXHALES]
You know, for whatever.
For being different,
- for being poor.
- For being poor?
Eli, he's one of the richest
men in the world,
of all the things in the world to
have a sense of humor about.
Look, that's what you should say to him.
How sorry you are.
How funny this is.
That obviously, this is karma.
That you ended up having to turn to him.
He'd never take the meeting.
Just reach out and see.
Swallow your pride.
It's not pride.
It's shame.
Nobody ever says swallow your shame.
Yeah, no, I agree.
It's a weird phrase.
[PHONE INTERCOM]
Eli Spector, he says
you grew up together.
Eli Spector.
After all these years.
No, no. To the contrary.
For you, I can make the time.
[MUSIC]
Hi.
[LAUGHS]
Um, wow.
Nice to, uh
- It's been so long.
- So long.
Obviously, so much has changed and
for you, especially.
You still live in Victory?
Yeah. Yeah.
I remember you were living
in this beautiful house
right next to Crystal Lake,
always in the newest, finest clothes.
Yeah, the, the
the place has changed, you know.
Not what it used to be.
Do you know the story
of the ship of Theseus?
[LAUGHS]
Never paid much attention in school.
A ship at sea over time has
its planks replaced one by one.
At a certain point after many years,
none of its planks are the same.
Is it still in fact the same ship?
[CHUCKLES]
[POOF]
I mean, uh
I just, uh
Your success, it just blows
me away, you know,
and then you really earned
everything on pure merit.
What is merit, when you
really think about it?
Inner qualities, outer influences.
Is any of that really merit?
Or are we just sailing blindly
along a scripted sea of fate
on a winding path that
would seem all too obvious
to anyone looking back?
Hey, man, I
I just have to get this
out of the way. I, uh
I feel terrible,
absolutely awful, um
about the way I was,
and, um
I just want a chance
to raise my kids right.
And, um
[CLEARS THROAT]
We were children, Eli.
We're different now.
And without those obstacles,
I wouldn't be who I am today.
It motivated me, Eli.
It still motivates me.
And the more success I have,
the more I realize that the
only things that really matter
are the elemental things,
the personal things,
like this lunch with you.
So
How can I help?
[EXHALES]
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
You've heard of the blockchain
and I've heard of the blockchain,
but 97% of insurance providers
have never heard of
I'd say no Stop, I'm sorry.
Um
You're still doing it.
Blockchain
You're still following what
the popular kids are doing.
You're better than that, Eli.
See, in business, I've
learned to not follow
what the popular kids are already doing
because the opportunity is
definitionally marginal.
If you want a transformational
opportunity,
you need to find something that
everyone else sees as worthless
and elevate it to something priceless.
Well, that, um
sounds very wise and, uh,
it's certainly worked
for you, so thanks.
Do you know what would
be of interest to me?
A butt plug.
A butt plug?
Just a butt plug?
No, not just a butt plug.
A great butt plug.
A butt plug the likes of which
the world has never seen.
A butt plug that once the world
does see it, changes the world.
If you were to bring
me that product, yes,
that would be of great interest to me.
You see, the difference between
your face and mine right now,
the difference between our
faces is the human definition
of an arbitrage opportunity.
That is profit.
I don't quite
Of course it would have to
be something extraordinary,
something that would require
your complete and total focus.
You would have to quit your project
and devote yourself full time
to developing a product
that would be worthy
of my consideration.
But if you did,
I would schedule a meeting
of the full board
of my company a year from today,
and you would have the full
and undivided attention
of me and my associates.
Sorry, are you saying
you want me to quit my job and
spend the next year of
my life developing a
butt plug?
Would there be a contract?
No, no contract,
no promise of any kind
other than a meeting.
No, you would be pursuing
this on pure speculation
based on the well-established
history I have of proposing things
that sound outlandish at first
only to be met with
unprecedented success.
This could be the next one of those.
Or it could be the worst
decision you ever make.
Of course, at the end of the day,
you don't bet on an idea,
you bet on a person, so
you need to place a bet.
You need to look into my
eyes and ask yourself
whether for a person in my position,
mercy is a stronger
satisfaction than revenge.
You can stay on the path
you're currently on,
or
drop what you're doing and come
to my office a year from today
with a butt plug that
will change the world
and your life along with it.
Um, what, ah
is a butt plug?
Sounds like you have
a long journey ahead,
and you've already taken the first step.
A butt plug.
I had to look it up.
Well
How hard is it to make a butt plug?
The way he wants to do it?
Take everything I've got.
There's no half-ass in this, Susie,
so to speak, I'd have
to quit the startup.
You'd have to take a second job.
Is he fucking with you?
What if he is?
What if he's not?
[PHONE RINGS]
Eli I'm glad to hear it.
Yeah, we'll be in touch.
[MUSIC]
One of the keys to a butt plug is
you don't want to go too small.
- Ahh
- Small ones fall out.
It needs to be wide enough
for the sphincters to grip
it and hold it in place.
[BACKGROUND CONVERSATIONS]
Got you.
[BACKGROUND CONVERSATIONS]
Fuck!
[TV] Oh, God. Oh, God.
[MOANS]
Uh, good, not great.
Uh, I feel like you're losing sight
of how the insertion goes.
Right. Right.
I definitely think material-wise,
metal is perfect.
It feels better in the
butt, in my opinion.
[MUSIC]
[MANUFACTURING SOUNDS]
[ALARM GOES OFF]
[RHYTHMIC MUSIC PLAYING]
My friend.
- Oh
- [LAUGHTER]
Oh, my God.
- Are you excited?
- Oh
I'm fucking terrified.
[LAUGHS]
Well, the whole board
is here as promised.
London, Dubai, Buenos Aires,
they all flew in from around the world.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Just for a butt plug. [CHUCKLES]
It's not just a butt plug, is it?
I asked for something transcendent,
something revolutionary,
something worth an hour of
my time and a year of yours.
You're not telling me now
that it's just a butt plug?
Everything I have is
riding on this butt plug.
Okay. The people you're about
to meet are my colleagues,
and in many cases, they're my friends,
but they are not my peers.
My peers are the other chairmen
of the world's largest companies.
You see what I'm saying?
We grew up shoulder to shoulder,
but we were not peers.
You see what I'm saying?
No.
I don't want an object whose
peers are other butt plugs.
I want a butt plug whose peers
are the other great objects
in existence.
Whenever you're ready.
My friends, thank you all for coming.
It's my great pleasure to
introduce you to Eli Spector.
We've known each other since childhood.
And the time has changed us all so much.
Uh [LAUGHS]
- None more than your chairman here.
- [LAUGHS]
Eli, it's a pleasure to introduce
you to the board of directors.
To your immediate left, with
the confident smile, is Sandy.
Sandy has led two Fortune 500 companies,
but her sense of humor has
remained very down to earth.
To her left is Alice.
Alice comes all the way
to us from London
and this is in fact her
first time traveling
since the loss of her husband.
My condolences, Alice.
The man with the generous light
shining through his eyes is Charles.
Charles and his partner Steven
run our charitable foundation.
Wonderful to meet you, Eli.
Thank you for the work you do.
And, of course, you'll
recognize Gail Truesdale.
Ambassador.
Troy is the youngest
member of our board,
a former Fields Medal winner.
That's a prize given out to
The most gifted statistical
analyst of his generation.
I'm well aware, Troy, or
if I may, Dr. Ozdemir.
Last but not least is Marcus 'The
Moneyman' Stevens, [CHUCKLES]
representing our emerging
investments arm.
Excited and pumped.
[CHUCKLES] All of us, Marcus,
all of us are very excited and pumped.
[CHUCKLES]
Eli.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'm here to present a butt plug.
Come on. Laugh.
Butt plug.
Come on, it's funny.
And those are funny words.
It's funny that I'm here, a stranger,
a total nobody standing
in front of all of you
saying, I'm here to present
a butt plug, right?
Come on, let's be honest,
when we hear a butt plug,
we assume it's a crude punch
line to a cruder joke or a
cheap accessory to a
cheaper experience.
That ends today.
[SWOOSHING SOUND]
How do you find the most value?
You search for that which
is the most undervalued.
One of the great financial
thinkers of our time said that.
In fact, that thinker happens
to be in this room right now.
But I want to take you on
my journey in finding value
in the undervalued today.
Now, the sex toy industry, is
a $50 billion a year industry
growing at nearly 25% a
year for the last 5 years.
Now, as Marcus will be
the first to tell you,
those numbers are enough to motivate
just about any company in the world,
but that's not this
company's philosophy.
Follow the magic and
the math will follow.
The world, since Daniel and
I were children, has changed.
And the inspiring story of our time
is the revolution we're living through
and our approaches to
intimacy and identity.
Once marginalized,
orientations and identities
are rapidly fighting
for representation and respect
in a more inclusive
society they're defining.
With that sexual practices once
trivialized and diminished,
with even harmless-seeming
mockery and jokes,
move from the shadows into
the sunlight of society.
-
- So, that leaves us with a great story,
but with all due respect to
the foundation Charles runs,
- you guys aren't a charity
- [CHUCKLES]
and a great past, but
you guys don't have a time machine.
You don't, do you?
[LAUGHTER]
No, what you want to
know about is the future.
Now, when we've seen this growth
parabola and comparable industries
that develop in tandem
with a cultural shift,
there's a fascinating commonality.
Whether it's computing
or high-end coffee,
a product at the center
of a cultural shift
reaches the exact point we're
at today when an object,
a singular object emerges that
hits the nexus between elite status
and mass appeal and powers the
leap from cultural uniqueness
to cultural ubiquity.
With coffee in the 1990s,
it was the Starbucks cup.
With computing in the 2000s,
it was the iPhone.
This point of no return
is when an industry
coalesces around its DSO,
its dominant singular object.
Where are you getting this
this theory of analysis?
This is my original analysis.
It's proprietary,
but I'd be more than honored to share
it with you if we work together
and apply it to all sorts of phenomenon.
But, um back to the bottom line
- [LAUGHTER]
- if you will
What will be that
object in this industry?
The Harvard Medical School Center
for Study of Sexual Practices
conducted studies
on every sexual and gender identity.
I obtained a researcher pass
to visit them and see what they learned.
Their conclusion was the obvious.
There is one anatomical point
with a far higher incidence
of sexual responsiveness across
all human beings than any other.
Not more sensitivity, mind you,
but more universally reported
sensitivity by a mile.
Why are the numbers so high?
Because it's a body part virtually
every human being has.
[LAUGHTER]
So, we've established the
potentially dominant universality
of this object in response
to one cultural shift:
sexual and gender identity.
But there's a second shift
we're experiencing:
the nature of intimacy.
The two fastest-growing
intimacy statuses
with which people self-identify are,
one, people who are
solitary by preference,
and two, people in a relationship
in which another partner
is not physically present.
Now, the object I'm presenting
today is not only an object
with near-identical responses
across all sexual
and gender identities,
it's also an object with
near-identical responses
across all intimacy identities.
That means, in intimate partnerships
as well as those without partners
or without partners physically present.
And Troy, you don't need
a Fields Medal to know
that when you overlay two growth curves,
the curves don't double, they grow
Exponentially.
But that's just the dominance of
a $50 billion a year industry.
Why quit there?
Stop. Stop.
I need a break.
[BACKGROUND NOISE]
- This is him?
- He is a madman.
- Oh, adorable.
- Come on.
Yeah.
So, we've established the
potential of this object
to ride this cultural
wave, right? But
how could it do something
more important?
How could it expand
the wave all together?
Let me start with an example
you might find amusing.
Vibrators are a $3 billion
a year business.
Not bad. Not bad.
You know what's a $7 billion
dollar a year business?
Hand-held personal massagers.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
I'll wait.
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
The point being, many consumers
need a cover story
to purchase an object designed
for sexual pleasure
which alone accounts for
enormous hidden numbers.
But what if their cover story
wasn't just a cover story?
What if this were an object that
provided relief to nearly
40 million people a year
who suffer from constipation?
What if it had a built-in
Wi-Fi-enabled camera
that could automatically
operate a colonoscopy
saving as many as 10,000 lives a year?
Do you think $599 is too much to charge
for a previously marginalized object?
I did.
So, I took it upon myself to
lead a dozen focus groups
all of which came to
the same conclusion.
Even though $411 is
the break-even point,
the price point the consumer
preferred wasn't $499,
$599, or even $799.
Customers want to pay
$999 for this object.
Because the extra cost
was what helped counteract
the stigma of a butt plug
and turn it into a genuine
"Veblen good."
Like a Lamborghini or a
bottle of fine cognac,
this is the type of good
where the customer
actually wants to overpay.
$1,000 bucks is a lot, but
it's my health, you know.
It's important.
Accounting for this astronomical
profit margin.
Incredible.
But what really makes something
worth it to a consumer?
If it's a great investment.
I know what you're thinking.
How could something like this
be a great investment?
Well, it would be if, say
it were made with zinc.
And if I had pre-negotiated zinc futures
with the government of Bolivia to
ensure that even a moderate order
hits a threshold that will drive
up the price of the metal so high
that anyone who owns the
object can rest assured
it will appreciate in value
whether or not they ever
take it out of the box
which I didn't.
Put another way, anyone
who owns this butt plug
can at any point in times
of financial emergency,
melt it down for parts
in case times get tight,
and make a substantial
profit on their purchase.
But I don't think they'll want to.
How do you find the most value?
You search for that which
is the most undervalued.
We all know what it's
like to be undervalued,
but I know both sides of it.
I undervalued someone.
I know I undervalued him not
because he went on to become
one of the richest men in the world,
but because when he had no reason to
he still gave me a project
to change the last plank on a ship.
Some say a man's character is his fate.
Others say fate is the joke a
man's life plays on his character.
Where are you getting this?
Revenge is the expression
of our yearning
to bend the chaotic world
towards balance, justice, logic,
but mercy
mercy has no logic.
It's the divine.
It's the expression of a universe
that makes no sense.
A universe that has something
when it should have nothing.
It's the spark of the divine,
of a new beginning out of nothing
with the potential of the infinite.
Anyway
that's what this butt plug means to me.
I'm curious to hear
what it means to you.
- You spent a year on this?
- Yes.
It shows.
Thank you.
Look, Daniel, brought us
in from all over the world.
He clearly wanted us
to be here for this,
and I can see why.
We're more of a financial
services company,
but the principles that
you applied to this
couldn't be more in line with
what we've been searching for.
We haven't done products here.
We've always had a
family-friendly brand.
But you have made a great case
as to why that might not rule this out.
I'm curious as to what Daniel thinks.
You can look me in the eyes and
tell me you put your entire heart
and soul
and vulnerability into
this presentation?
Answer carefully
Answer honestly.
Yes.
The answer is yes.
I'll tell you exactly what you
can do with your butt plug.
You can shove it up your ass.
[LAUGHTER]
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
Thank you.
[EXHALES]
How did it go?
Now I'll be the greatest
regret of his life.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]