The Prince (2021) s01e05 Episode Script
Charity
1
♪
♪
- Tonight, there was
a royal throwdown
between the Queen of England
and the Queen of QVC herself,
Lisa Rinna.
So, Lisa, where did you
leave it with the Queen?
Are you banned from England?
- No.
The queen and I
are totally fine.
We talked it over,
and it was honestly
just a misunderstanding.
We're getting tea next week.
- All right.
Good to hear.
Meghan, you seem
pretty angry with Dorit
over her behavior
with the Queen's guards.
- I just thought it was
completely inappropriate
and I just think
if you're gonna pretend
to have a British accent,
maybe you can pretend to know
the British customs too.
- Okay, we're gonna go
to the phones.
Caller, what's your question?
- Hey, Andy, big fan.
- Aww, thanks.
- I love everything you do,
and I've been watching you
since I was three and I--
- Thanks, caller.
What's your question?
- Sorry.
My question is for Meghan.
Meghan, besides
"Holder of Briefcase 24"
on "Deal or No Deal,"
what do you think
your most impactful role was?
- Is this George?
- I thought
I made my voice
sound different enough
when I called in, but nuh-uh.
- It was a very good effort,
your Royal Highness.
- Thanks, O.
Ooh, put in my diary that
I have a microcurrent facial
with Joanna Vargas
at 5:00 Monday.
- Sir, I believe you have
the Queen's charity event
for Gorgensteins then.
- With the fuck
is Gorgensteins?
I've never even heard of that.
- I'm not actually
sure myself, sir.
- Ugh.
So what am I wearing
to this event
I just found out about?
- I took the liberty of
setting something aside, sir.
- Ooh.
Who would have fucking guessed?
A Peter Pan collared shirt
with blue shorts.
The same outfit
you suggest every event.
- I think you look very nice
in this outfit, sir.
- You know,
maybe it's my fault,
taking fashion advice
from someone
who's worn the same uniform
every day for 55 years.
- It's practical, sir.
- You know, I have
a uniform too,
but I accessorize it.
I wore a scarf with it
just the other day.
Burberry tartan
will never go out of style.
But you wouldn't know
anything about that.
- I feel very inadequate.
I am very stupid, sir.
- O, O!
It's all right.
Don't cry.
Jesus.
I'm just stressed, okay?
Give yourself a hug for me.
Go on.
Do it.
Did my hug
make you feel better?
Good.
Now, I don't want to look nice.
I want to look iconic.
I need a stylist.
Who dresses Kaley Cuoco?
She always looks
cute and fresh.
- I don't know who that
is, sir.
- You don't know who anyone is.
Brad Goreski styles her.
I'm gonna DM him.
I don't blame you, Owen.
You just don't know any better.
Give yourself a little playful
punch on the shoulder.
There you go.
- I'll get you the documents,
but I'm going
to need more time.
Hi, George.
- What--were you just--
never mind.
Spot me, boy.
Spot me, son.
Georgie.
Get 'ere, now.
- Hey, who do you have to fuck
to get a mimosa around here?
- I apologize,
your Royal Highness.
Right away.
-
- Make it two, Mary.
- I'll have another as well.
- Maybe just orange juice
for Kate.
- Maybe just champagne.
- Yay, yay, yay, yay.
- A little buzzy buzzy
for my good boy, hmm?
- Mummy, Camilla had
a smashing idea.
Yes, darling.
We decided.
She's going to cohost
the Gorgensteins charity event
with you, Mummy.
- She couldn't cohost a shit.
- That's hilarious, Gan Gan.
I-I don't really get it,
but it's still hilarious.
- Get him a bib, you half-wit.
- Mummy and Camilla!
Camilla and Mummy!
You two are going to smash it.
- The only thing I'm gonna
smash right now
is your thick head.
And what the bloody hell
is Gorgensteins?
- It's that disease, right?
- I thought it was
a type of plant.
- Could it be both?
- I'm warning you
all right now, though,
Camilla is an amazing speaker,
and she has a barnburner
of a speech
all locked and loaded.
Care to give us a little
sneak preview, Camilla?
Ooh, she's saving it all
for the big night.
- Yeah, I don't really get her
appeal yet, to be honest.
- Can you stop
with the fucking gum?
- All right, I know we've been
short staffed lately,
so I think
you'll be excited to hear
I'm interviewing
a young lad later today.
Please make him feel at home
as he'll most likely die here
along with the rest of us.
- I hope the new guy's hot.
- Stop.
You think?
He could be our third.
- I thought we were
just joking about that.
- Oh, yeah.
We totally were.
I was just doing
a joke off of that.
- Oh.
Look, if you're bored--
- I'm not!
- So here's the deal, Brad.
I have a big charity event
this Monday for Gorgensteins.
You're familiar?
- Of course, so sad.
- Right.
So I wanna look chic,
but I don't wanna look like
I'm trying too hard.
What's on trend right now?
What do you love?
- Well, I love what Balmain
is doing
with their summer collection,
Balenciaga sneakers.
I think crossbody bags are--
- Stop right there.
I love everything
you're saying.
I think we're gonna be
best friends.
See, Owen?
Brad gets fashion
like I get fashion.
What do you think
of Burberry tartan?
- Oh, God, it's so tired.
-
Totally.
- Ah, you must be here
for the job interview.
Well, come in.
Come in, sit.
So we're looking
for a rock star--
an all-round team player
with a high degree
of coordination,
mental fortitude,
and, most importantly,
thick skin.
Turnover can be high,
but if you can get through
the first couple of years,
it's the best job in the world.
- Hey, Philip shit
all over the stairs again.
I'd go up, but I'm on break.
- Exciting stuff happening
all the time here.
Let's see your CV.
Hmm.
Not much
hospitality experience,
and I don't see a name on here.
I think this is just a napkin.
- Keebeen.
- I
I don't know what that means.
Is that your name?
- Keeebeeen.
- Kevin?
Your name's Kevin?
- Keebeen.
- Kevin, you're hired.
And if you have any friends
who you think might be up
to the task, let us know.
Or any family.
♪
- Nofamily.
- All right, lad.
Here's an apron
and a shit bucket.
Welcome aboard.
- This seems so boring.
Too safe.
Ugh, and it feels cheap.
- It's Armani.
- Armani Exchange?
- Armani.
But I totally get it.
Don't worry.
Why don't we try
the next look?
I have a feeling you love it.
-
Fine.
None of these outfits
are even worth doing a montage.
- You look amazing,
and it's definitely not boring.
- I look like a chubby
little Lorax.
- No way.
I think you look great,
and it really brings out
your eyes.
- I look like I should be
directing air traffic
at Heathrow.
- Are there a lot more
of these?
- Just the two.
Why would you even
fucking suggest this?
- But you asked for this suit
to be shipped from Milan.
- Yeah, well, I didn't ask
for your attitude.
Does that come complementary
with your shit service?
Owen, see this man out.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Goreski.
- It's all right.
I used to dress Anne Hathaway.
- Thank you for all you're
doing with Gorgensteins.
- No, thank you.
We couldn't do it
without your help.
- We met at last year's
garden party.
Do you remember me?
Patsy.
- Yes, of course!
Patsy.
I saw you the second
you walked in
and I said,
"There's dear Patsy."
Kill me.
- You never should have told me
to get a stylist, Owen.
Brad stunk.
- I apologize, sir.
- Stop trying to change me.
I'm iconic.
I always have been.
Right?
- Quite right, sir.
- I'll take one of those.
Ugh.
Never mind.
Does he have Gorgensteins?
- Everyone, everyone,
gather round.
As you all know,
my two favorite girls
put together this brilliant
event for Gorgensteins.
Mummy, you're always
talking about charity.
Why, I remember you mentioning
it the first time we met.
I was seven, I believe,
and you looked at me and said,
"Who is this charity case?"
So inspiring.
Now to the main event.
Camilla has a little speech
prepared
that's going
to knock your socks off.
Come on, darling.
You can do it.
Sugar cube?
There we go.
♪
- Now that we're finally alone,
William, we need to talk.
- About what?
- Us.
I'm not sure if you don't care
about me
or if it's that you don't care
about anything at all.
- That's not fair.
- I don't know
when you stopped trying,
but it's like
you're on autopilot.
- That's not fair.
- See?
I can't take it any longer!
Smash a vase.
- You're being unreasonable.
Stomp your foot.
- And I'm trapped in monotony.
Charity event today,
an award ceremony tomorrow.
Fund-raisers, dinners,
over and over and over.
I can't live like this.
I married you
because I loved you,
and now I'm not sure
I love anything at all.
I'm unhappy, William.
- Who isn't?
- Scream.
- Get ahold of yourself.
How dare you.
I'll sleep in the guest palace
tonight.
Slam the door behind me.
- Shall I cry, Ma'am?
- Oh, no, thank you.
I'll do it myself.
I have got to get out of here.
♪
♪
♪
- Tonight, there was
a royal throwdown
between the Queen of England
and the Queen of QVC herself,
Lisa Rinna.
So, Lisa, where did you
leave it with the Queen?
Are you banned from England?
- No.
The queen and I
are totally fine.
We talked it over,
and it was honestly
just a misunderstanding.
We're getting tea next week.
- All right.
Good to hear.
Meghan, you seem
pretty angry with Dorit
over her behavior
with the Queen's guards.
- I just thought it was
completely inappropriate
and I just think
if you're gonna pretend
to have a British accent,
maybe you can pretend to know
the British customs too.
- Okay, we're gonna go
to the phones.
Caller, what's your question?
- Hey, Andy, big fan.
- Aww, thanks.
- I love everything you do,
and I've been watching you
since I was three and I--
- Thanks, caller.
What's your question?
- Sorry.
My question is for Meghan.
Meghan, besides
"Holder of Briefcase 24"
on "Deal or No Deal,"
what do you think
your most impactful role was?
- Is this George?
- I thought
I made my voice
sound different enough
when I called in, but nuh-uh.
- It was a very good effort,
your Royal Highness.
- Thanks, O.
Ooh, put in my diary that
I have a microcurrent facial
with Joanna Vargas
at 5:00 Monday.
- Sir, I believe you have
the Queen's charity event
for Gorgensteins then.
- With the fuck
is Gorgensteins?
I've never even heard of that.
- I'm not actually
sure myself, sir.
- Ugh.
So what am I wearing
to this event
I just found out about?
- I took the liberty of
setting something aside, sir.
- Ooh.
Who would have fucking guessed?
A Peter Pan collared shirt
with blue shorts.
The same outfit
you suggest every event.
- I think you look very nice
in this outfit, sir.
- You know,
maybe it's my fault,
taking fashion advice
from someone
who's worn the same uniform
every day for 55 years.
- It's practical, sir.
- You know, I have
a uniform too,
but I accessorize it.
I wore a scarf with it
just the other day.
Burberry tartan
will never go out of style.
But you wouldn't know
anything about that.
- I feel very inadequate.
I am very stupid, sir.
- O, O!
It's all right.
Don't cry.
Jesus.
I'm just stressed, okay?
Give yourself a hug for me.
Go on.
Do it.
Did my hug
make you feel better?
Good.
Now, I don't want to look nice.
I want to look iconic.
I need a stylist.
Who dresses Kaley Cuoco?
She always looks
cute and fresh.
- I don't know who that
is, sir.
- You don't know who anyone is.
Brad Goreski styles her.
I'm gonna DM him.
I don't blame you, Owen.
You just don't know any better.
Give yourself a little playful
punch on the shoulder.
There you go.
- I'll get you the documents,
but I'm going
to need more time.
Hi, George.
- What--were you just--
never mind.
Spot me, boy.
Spot me, son.
Georgie.
Get 'ere, now.
- Hey, who do you have to fuck
to get a mimosa around here?
- I apologize,
your Royal Highness.
Right away.
-
- Make it two, Mary.
- I'll have another as well.
- Maybe just orange juice
for Kate.
- Maybe just champagne.
- Yay, yay, yay, yay.
- A little buzzy buzzy
for my good boy, hmm?
- Mummy, Camilla had
a smashing idea.
Yes, darling.
We decided.
She's going to cohost
the Gorgensteins charity event
with you, Mummy.
- She couldn't cohost a shit.
- That's hilarious, Gan Gan.
I-I don't really get it,
but it's still hilarious.
- Get him a bib, you half-wit.
- Mummy and Camilla!
Camilla and Mummy!
You two are going to smash it.
- The only thing I'm gonna
smash right now
is your thick head.
And what the bloody hell
is Gorgensteins?
- It's that disease, right?
- I thought it was
a type of plant.
- Could it be both?
- I'm warning you
all right now, though,
Camilla is an amazing speaker,
and she has a barnburner
of a speech
all locked and loaded.
Care to give us a little
sneak preview, Camilla?
Ooh, she's saving it all
for the big night.
- Yeah, I don't really get her
appeal yet, to be honest.
- Can you stop
with the fucking gum?
- All right, I know we've been
short staffed lately,
so I think
you'll be excited to hear
I'm interviewing
a young lad later today.
Please make him feel at home
as he'll most likely die here
along with the rest of us.
- I hope the new guy's hot.
- Stop.
You think?
He could be our third.
- I thought we were
just joking about that.
- Oh, yeah.
We totally were.
I was just doing
a joke off of that.
- Oh.
Look, if you're bored--
- I'm not!
- So here's the deal, Brad.
I have a big charity event
this Monday for Gorgensteins.
You're familiar?
- Of course, so sad.
- Right.
So I wanna look chic,
but I don't wanna look like
I'm trying too hard.
What's on trend right now?
What do you love?
- Well, I love what Balmain
is doing
with their summer collection,
Balenciaga sneakers.
I think crossbody bags are--
- Stop right there.
I love everything
you're saying.
I think we're gonna be
best friends.
See, Owen?
Brad gets fashion
like I get fashion.
What do you think
of Burberry tartan?
- Oh, God, it's so tired.
-
Totally.
- Ah, you must be here
for the job interview.
Well, come in.
Come in, sit.
So we're looking
for a rock star--
an all-round team player
with a high degree
of coordination,
mental fortitude,
and, most importantly,
thick skin.
Turnover can be high,
but if you can get through
the first couple of years,
it's the best job in the world.
- Hey, Philip shit
all over the stairs again.
I'd go up, but I'm on break.
- Exciting stuff happening
all the time here.
Let's see your CV.
Hmm.
Not much
hospitality experience,
and I don't see a name on here.
I think this is just a napkin.
- Keebeen.
- I
I don't know what that means.
Is that your name?
- Keeebeeen.
- Kevin?
Your name's Kevin?
- Keebeen.
- Kevin, you're hired.
And if you have any friends
who you think might be up
to the task, let us know.
Or any family.
♪
- Nofamily.
- All right, lad.
Here's an apron
and a shit bucket.
Welcome aboard.
- This seems so boring.
Too safe.
Ugh, and it feels cheap.
- It's Armani.
- Armani Exchange?
- Armani.
But I totally get it.
Don't worry.
Why don't we try
the next look?
I have a feeling you love it.
-
Fine.
None of these outfits
are even worth doing a montage.
- You look amazing,
and it's definitely not boring.
- I look like a chubby
little Lorax.
- No way.
I think you look great,
and it really brings out
your eyes.
- I look like I should be
directing air traffic
at Heathrow.
- Are there a lot more
of these?
- Just the two.
Why would you even
fucking suggest this?
- But you asked for this suit
to be shipped from Milan.
- Yeah, well, I didn't ask
for your attitude.
Does that come complementary
with your shit service?
Owen, see this man out.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Goreski.
- It's all right.
I used to dress Anne Hathaway.
- Thank you for all you're
doing with Gorgensteins.
- No, thank you.
We couldn't do it
without your help.
- We met at last year's
garden party.
Do you remember me?
Patsy.
- Yes, of course!
Patsy.
I saw you the second
you walked in
and I said,
"There's dear Patsy."
Kill me.
- You never should have told me
to get a stylist, Owen.
Brad stunk.
- I apologize, sir.
- Stop trying to change me.
I'm iconic.
I always have been.
Right?
- Quite right, sir.
- I'll take one of those.
Ugh.
Never mind.
Does he have Gorgensteins?
- Everyone, everyone,
gather round.
As you all know,
my two favorite girls
put together this brilliant
event for Gorgensteins.
Mummy, you're always
talking about charity.
Why, I remember you mentioning
it the first time we met.
I was seven, I believe,
and you looked at me and said,
"Who is this charity case?"
So inspiring.
Now to the main event.
Camilla has a little speech
prepared
that's going
to knock your socks off.
Come on, darling.
You can do it.
Sugar cube?
There we go.
♪
- Now that we're finally alone,
William, we need to talk.
- About what?
- Us.
I'm not sure if you don't care
about me
or if it's that you don't care
about anything at all.
- That's not fair.
- I don't know
when you stopped trying,
but it's like
you're on autopilot.
- That's not fair.
- See?
I can't take it any longer!
Smash a vase.
- You're being unreasonable.
Stomp your foot.
- And I'm trapped in monotony.
Charity event today,
an award ceremony tomorrow.
Fund-raisers, dinners,
over and over and over.
I can't live like this.
I married you
because I loved you,
and now I'm not sure
I love anything at all.
I'm unhappy, William.
- Who isn't?
- Scream.
- Get ahold of yourself.
How dare you.
I'll sleep in the guest palace
tonight.
Slam the door behind me.
- Shall I cry, Ma'am?
- Oh, no, thank you.
I'll do it myself.
I have got to get out of here.
♪