The Royals (2015) s01e05 Episode Script

Previously on The Royals Helly I love you.
I love you, too.
And remember enthusiasm counts.
I remember the drugs that I put in your drink.
I remember every sordid, depraved, self-loathing thing that you did after that.
You know, when I forget, I just watch the video.
Get it all sorted and want to have a proper date, you have my number.
I've chosen her as my lady in waiting on the rural tour.
I merely came to remind you what the next King of England gets.
Me.
I'm on my way to pick you up for that date you've been avoiding.
The big annual charity masquerade ball is in a few days.
- I very much want you to be there.
- Absolutely.
Two tickets.
One for you and one for your boyfriend.
"Yo bitch.
Get your ass down here and help me pick out a dress.
" These are nice.
You're so cute.
That's not my closet.
This is my closet.
Okay, your closet is almost bigger than my bedroom.
I don't even know where to begin to choose a dress.
Oh actually, these aren't the dresses.
These are the dresses.
The perks of being a princess.
- It's why people hate you.
- I know.
Now help me pick out the best one.
I was pleased to hear Liam invited you to the ball.
I was less pleased he invited your new boyfriend.
- What's his name again? - Nick.
- And he's not my boyfriend.
- Of course he's not.
"And why?" you ask.
It's because you're into Liam and he's into you but you got jealous and lashed out on Instagram and he called you on your bluff.
So now you're bringing the boy not because you like said boy, but because you're stubborn and you're probably hoping you'll make Liam jealous.
- That's not what I'm doing.
- Ah-ti-ta-hat.
The bitch doth protest.
No worries.
I'm good.
Oh, we all know you prefer coffee.
I thought you wanted to vanquish him.
Oh, I vanquished him several times last night.
This one.
You have to wear this one.
It's the most beautiful dress I've ever seen.
Right.
That one's yours.
Now help me find one.
The Royals 01x04 - Unmask Her Beauty to the Moon Shok, careful with that thing.
It's all fun and games until someone gets shot with a Maruvian arrow.
Dude, relax.
No-one's getting shot with any arrow.
Look, I get it.
You're stressed.
Are you at least excited about the ball? Well, you know what you should be excited about? Monaco.
Thanks to yours truly, we are spending the weekend at the sickest nine-bedroom villa on the Cote d'Azur.
Everyone is going to be there.
The guys, the girls.
I mean - You have to come.
- We'll see.
Just say yes.
Just three little letters.
- Y-E-S.
- Fine.
Sweet.
Low-ten.
- Low-ten? - Mm.
What is this, 1974? You watch.
I'm bringing it back.
Just needed a day at the spa, Your Majesty? Sometimes a girl just needs to be pampered, Lucius.
You two.
Heel.
This is a spa, not a minefield.
Lucius will be beside me the whole time.
Walk away.
Treat yourself to something extra-special today, Lucius.
You deserve it.
I do so enjoy our little trips to the spa, Your Majesty.
I hope I didn't keep you waiting.
I think you know, Helly I'd wait a lifetime for you.
Oh, hey.
You're becoming quite the little king.
Here.
You probably need this more than I do.
And who knew the Princess had such a loving touch with the elderly? Uh, okay, I was high off my ass.
Those photos were taken out of context.
Well, they weren't the only ones.
I saw the photo of you and Gemma.
The Queen seems intent on meddling in my love life.
That's why I don't have one.
She's been out of control ever since Dad threatened to abolish us.
Trust me, we need this in order to survive Mother tonight.
Especially with Dad away.
I wonder what she'll do to top last year's grand entrance when she rode in on a unicorn.
That poor bloody horse.
Tonight shouldn't be all bad.
If memory serves, you've always enjoyed ruining relationships and breaking hearts.
Uh, which reminds me, why did you tell Ophelia to bring a date? - What is wrong with you? - Well, she rejected me.
- Ohh - I was just trying to be nice.
Okay, if that's your story.
I've got to meet Ashok.
I'll see you there.
See you there.
So it occurs to me that seeing as the Princess isn't leaving the palace his evening, there's no need for me to be on duty.
You're my bodyguard.
You need to be where I say you need to be.
And, besides, I wanted to see you in a tuxedo.
Really working the "Jasper from Vegas" story, aren't we? Still not buying it.
Hadn't we better get going, Your Highness? Oh, yes.
We wouldn't want to miss Mother's grand entrance.
Ophelia looks hot.
Who's that guy? That's her date.
Are we okay with that? We are so okay with that.
Aren't we, Darling? You look um That d-d-d-dress is is No, not just the dress but things that you and the dress are doing together.
Apparently I'm speechless.
You look beautiful.
Really beautiful.
Considering how we left things, I feel like I should probably explain myself.
No need.
Maybe you're using me, maybe you're not.
But either way I get tonight with you.
And eventually I'll wear you down.
It's a long con.
Is that a bandana you're wearing? Ashok, really, you are so lazy.
It's a foulard, not a bandana.
And also my eyes are my best feature.
The Queen who would be King.
Subtle.
Well, at least she didn't glue a horn onto a horse this year.
I need a drink.
You? - Absolutely.
- Okay.
Are we all set for tonight? The Hereditary Peers are arriving as we speak.
While we can hope for the best, we must prepare for the worst.
Indeed.
Just because Liam hasn't stepped in it already, doesn't mean he won't.
The King may have backed off with his threat but if the worst is to pass, we'll need the House of Lords on our side.
Then you'd better remind them what they stand to lose.
Not to worry.
Our influence will be duly felt.
The Queen will be indisposed for most of the evening.
Understood, Your Majesty.
- Mr.
Holloway.
- Your Highness.
I know how you love a good ball.
You look stunning.
Won't the people miss their Queen? A grand entrance to kick things off, then a big finish at the end.
That's all they care about.
Tops and tails.
Besides, I don't want to be their Queen tonight.
I just want to be yours.
Come.
I forget how beautiful it is.
Between the tours and events, we never really get a chance to enjoy it.
Hm.
Robert always loved it here.
How are you, my love? I've been worried.
I'm fine.
I have to be.
And how about Simon's threat? When we spoke after the funeral, you said he was considering abolishing the Monarchy.
You know the rules.
We don't talk about those things.
Hm.
Well, in that case, what is it the Queen would like to do? Well, I can't speak for the Queen.
But as for me Can we just walk for a while? Whatever my girl wants.
Don't look now, but David Beckham just smiled at you.
- Seriously? - Total David Beckham smile.
Madness.
Yeah, it really is.
Luckily for you, I'm an expert wallflower.
First few dances I went to, I was absolutely terrified of embarrassing myself.
Believe me, I can relate.
What changed? The right song came on and I just had to dance to it.
Made me realize two things.
One, the power of a good song.
And, two sometimes you've just gotta jump in.
Even when your head is telling you otherwise.
Okay, there's no way you can be this stable, self-aware, nice.
You forgot to mention handsome and an excellent dancer.
Come on.
Let's go.
Looks like they're having fun.
Yeah.
I guess.
Let's have another drink.
Shok, what's that shot you were telling us about? The Flaming Lamborghini.
What in God's dear name is the Flaming Lamborghini? I thought you'd never ask.
Dance with me.
I thought I was supposed to be working.
You are.
And right now I need you to work on protecting me from the Grand Duke of Norway's wandering hands.
I really do worry about your ability to protect my body, Jasper.
Awkward transition into a slow jam.
I say we roll with it.
- Mm.
- I thought a picnic was in order.
Like our first date in the hayloft.
Well, we couldn't have let my father catch us.
God forbid he'd find out his daughter was dating the help.
Ha.
Oh, daisies.
I always think of you when I see them.
I couldn't afford a proper bouquet.
No.
But then you'd braid them into such lovely little crowns for me.
You were my Queen long before you were theirs.
Come with me, bodyguard.
Ophelia.
Roll with it? Can't argue with that.
You must be Nick.
Good to meet you.
Yeah, you too.
Uh Your Royal Highness.
Just call me Liam.
Come on, let's get you a drink.
The new boyfriend is hot.
What's his story? Nick? He's a musician.
Rock stars are amazing in bed.
Good for you.
We drink the good stuff in here.
You're welcome.
- Shots or beer? - Both? Cheers.
Cool.
I'm thinking maybe no shots for you, mayonnaise.
I think Gemma drugged my champagne.
I'll be back.
Sounds like she got in a little over her head at the Garden Party.
Said you took good care of her.
Just being a good friend.
Cheers.
Pull my hair.
Come on, you know how I like it.
I want you inside me, right here, right now.
That's not what this is.
What? You don't control this.
I do.
What the hell was that? The tunnel and the tuxedo and the dancing.
That's not what this is.
You wanted me to be your little sex slave.
You're blackmailing me.
That is what this is.
- Is it? - Of course it is.
Well, if that's what this is, then go ahead and end it.
Go into that room and tell everybody how I'm blackmailing you.
If that's what this really is, then end it.
Tell them all.
Go on.
Do it.
Fine.
I will.
I have something important to say.
Something that will change everything.
Those shoes with that dress? Really, bitch? Gentlemen, for years the aristocracy ran this country.
And, if I may be so bold, for the better.
Hear, hear.
But there are rumors of a referendum to abolish the Monarchy.
If and when such a bill is passed, we must band together to save this country from itself.
I'm relying on the House of Lords to delay a referendum at all costs.
I'm sure I don't need to remind you that our lifestyle is a lifestyle worth preserving.
Because if the Monarchy goes down, we all go down with it.
Luckily for you, tonight the only thing going down are your servers.
After four hours, seek medical attention.
Most of these men are happy enough with a common whore, but as for me, I prefer my whores to be uncommon.
Go to my room and wait for me.
And, remember, enthusiasm counts.
Phantogram's new album is awesome.
If you like that, you should go back and listen to their EP.
It's way underrated.
I do hate to interrupt, but I love this song and I could really use a warm body.
Nick, would you mind terribly? Is this where you ask me to dance and then the jocks lock me in the trunk of a car? Dance floor, McFly.
Now.
Gemma.
You're up to something.
What? I'm just doing you a favor.
You obviously want to dance with Ophelia.
I'm giving you the chance.
The sooner you realize that she's really nothing special, the sooner you come back to me.
Where's Nick? He's dancing with Gemma.
Dance with me? Nick seems like a nice guy.
Yeah, he really is.
Kid knows his music.
We actually like a lot of the same bands.
That's great.
And he's funny, too.
I can see why The least you could do is not like him.
Ophelia, he's your boyfriend.
I'm trying to be nice.
Well, I wish you'd stop being so nice.
For the record, he's not my boyfriend.
Oh, my bad.
I meant that guy you made out with on Instagram.
Considering that photo of you and Gemma grinding on the plane tour It wasn't like that.
I never made out with Nick.
I didn't even kiss him.
- Okay, fine.
- Fine.
- Good.
- Great.
- Thanks for the dance.
- Sure.
- Ophelia, your earrings are amazing.
- Thank you.
You two are so good together.
The perfect storm.
The day my father came back from the bank.
The day he realized we were going to lose everything.
First Black Monday, then the BSE crisis, then the interest rates.
That's what he called it.
The perfect storm.
I was just wondering what my life would have been like if not for those three words.
What our life might have been like had my mother not pushed me into marrying Simon.
"What if?" has a way of finding us, doesn't it? I had a dream about Henry last night.
He visited me like a tragic ghost.
You were in a war.
You saved countless lives.
Henry's death wasn't your fault.
He had no family and no-one else but me.
I couldn't save him.
I look at the medals and commendations and I wish that I could go back for one day do everything differently.
They gave you those medals because you were a hero.
Not to him I wasn't.
Not that day.
Anyway, the point is, the past is the past.
We don't get to go back.
All we have left is today.
I know you don't want to discuss it, but you should know if there is a referendum to abolish the Monarchy I know which way I'll vote.
Tonight could be every night.
What's wrong with you? The Sultan of Bhondai just cock-blocked us.
What? The villa in Monaco is out.
We got bumped.
Are we okay with that? - We don't have a choice.
- Of course we do.
You know what trumps the Sultan of Bhondai? The future King of England.
Your Highness.
My Lord, I take it you're enjoying yourself? Indeed, Your Highness.
And while tonight has been lovely I do so hate looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Oh, stop being so bloody English and spit it out.
Very well, sir.
Public sentiment towards the Monarchy is at an all-time low.
If a vote on a referendum is brought to the floor, it will not only pass, I believe it will do so with a huge majority.
And if the House of Lords does try to delay such a bill, there will be rioting in the streets.
They will have our heads.
Which is why I've taken steps to ensure that if such a bill passes, it won't be with a sweeping majority.
Forgive me, Your Highness, but how on earth can you ensure that? I believe you know James Holloway.
I do indeed.
Well, rest assured, Mr.
Holloway is very much in bed with us.
The Duke of York and James Holloway? Strange bedfellows.
Needless to say, you do your duty, we'll do ours.
You can count on us, Your Highness.
I knew you'd come to see things my way.
People always do.
I just got off the phone with Albert.
- He's making a call.
- Albert? As in As in "the sovereign Prince of Monaco" Albert? We have history there.
He's hooking us up.
You're so the man right now.
Come on.
Shok, it's not coming back.
Let it go, mate.
Hey Mm, hey.
We're going to the villa in Monaco this weekend.
I figured we could both use a break from this place.
Wheels up at dawn.
A break sounds good.
What was that earlier? You okay? Hm? Mm, it's nothing.
I'm fine.
I've tried to be patient.
I've tried to give you space.
Now dance with me before I look desperate.
So how was it, your dance with Ophelia? Maybe you don't think she's special, but I do.
OK, let's play this out.
Let's say that the two of you end up together.
Your mother hates her.
The press will eat her alive.
They will make your life a living hell.
And then what will you be left with? Happiness.
Don't be naive.
- May I cut in? - Walk away.
Ashok.
I am so not okay with this.
- I - Don't say it.
- I have to go.
- No.
I refuse to allow it.
We haven't danced yet.
I suppose I can't argue with that.
Dance with me.
- Why would I want to? - Just shut up and dance with me.
Let's be honest.
This isn't about the video.
Hasn't been about the video for a while now.
Which is probably good because there is no video.
What do you mean, there's no video? You got black-out drunk and threatened to fire me, so I lied about all of it.
You son of a bitch.
I don't need a video, though, do I? 'Cause you like this.
You like being controlled.
You like me.
So I'll do whatever I want to you, whenever I want.
And you'll let me.
Because you want it.
You need it.
So, Princess, video or not, I own you.
Now, go to your room strip off that overpriced dress get into bed and wait for me.
Say yes.
Yes.
You were right.
Liam's a nice guy.
Seriously? Can the two of you just stop with that? Can everyone stop liking each other? Maybe you two should date.
Fairy tales are such bullshit.
I'm sorry? It's just, I get it.
It's a ball at the Royal Palace.
No big deal, but then you put the dress on and you get here and there are all these expectations.
Before you know it, you've become the kind of girl you thought you'd never be, and you're thinking, "Why can't a guy just fight for a girl?" Is it too much to ask? Is it crazy to think her prince might actu There it is.
Nick I hope the fairy-tale works out for you.
I really do.
I should've said this earlier.
You look absolutely radiant tonight.
Thank you.
We're going to Monaco for the weekend.
I want you to come with me.
I'm not inviting Nick.
He's a nice guy and I like him, but he came with the wrong girl.
I know you think you don't belong in my world but I don't like my world without you in it.
I'll wait for you.
Would every night truly be like this? It would.
It will.
Your Majesty.
You should go.
I hope you don't mind.
I needed a drink.
Thought you might like one, too.
How very thoughtful of you.
Did you know that among Henry the VII's vast Royal Court, he had an entire team of Royal Tasters? Many people believed him to be paranoid, narcissistic, mad even.
But, as it turns out, his paranoia proved useful.
Because during the course of his reign, 23 of those Royal Tasters died thanks to poison meant for him.
Luckily for me, they invented security cameras.
Attempting to kill the Duke of York? Why, that's treason.
You'll be sent to jail for the rest of your life.
Of course, I might overlook this indiscretion if you'd see it in your heart to do me a favor.
The King likes you.
The King trusts you.
And you have the ability to move about unnoticed.
He goes on walks sometimes.
I want you to follow him.
Find out where he goes.
You're a smart girl.
It's a much better option than prison.
I knew you'd come around.
Where do you think you're going? Don't worry, I'll be slightly more gentle than they would be in prison.
Lenny said you be handsome Alright, let's go.
- Wait ! - Stop !