The Smoke (2014) s01e05 Episode Script
Episode 5
Grace is my daughter.
She was adopted at birth.
Don't.
Mal, please don't.
She was looking for you and she she just found me.
I've lost everything, do you understand that? We need to sort this out.
No-one gives a toss about anything you have to say! Oi! Pauline Pynchon.
You can call me Pauline.
Rosa's baby died, Gog.
We killed a little girl.
Whatever happened, it's done.
Dennis will be safe with me.
All right? I'm looking out for him.
'Asbo, persons reported, talk to me 'Asbo, Asbo, do you copy, over?' Heavy smoke logging, visibility zero.
'Hurry up, Asbo, there's kids in there.
' Fire Service.
Anybody there? 'Asbo, roof isn't gonna hold.
I'm pulling you out.
' No, Mal.
Making the grab.
'Asbo!' It's all right, I'm a firefighter! "It's all right, I'm a firefighter!" Save me! Save me! Who's that? "Who's that?" Oi! What's happening? Get off me! I said get off me! Get off! Get off! Asbo! Asbo, calm down! Asbo! Get off me! Get off me! Burn room! Shut it down! Asbo, stop it! We're only having a laugh! Asbo! What the bloody hell's going on? What's wrong with you! Eh? You're taking the piss! He's mental! Leave it! I said leave it! Idiot.
You're a bloody idiot, Dennis! All of you, back to the station, now! Kev.
Kev.
Kev! Can we just Can we actually talk about this, please? We talked.
I've said everything I wanted to say to you.
I made myself really clear, didn't I? Unless, of course, you want to talk about a work issue.
This is a work issue.
He lost his shit! In a training exercise! The guy's a liability.
Probably having a bad day.
Yeah? Well, I don't want to find myself on a shout, worrying about if he's having a bad day or not.
Tell you what, I'm not partnering him, not after that.
Me neither.
It were like that, Zig, just snapped.
Some people ain't got no sense of humour.
I'm telling you, that kid is fucked up.
Doesn't mean anything to you? You're gonna take his side against mine? I'll deal with it.
How? Cos right now, I got a rookie I can't trust and a Watch Manager who won't speak to me.
Maybe we just can't work together any more.
Yeah, well, that would be great.
You get a transfer and leave the rest of us to deal with the Incredible Sulk out there.
All right? Can you smell something? Yeah, it's like BO and batshit? I messed up, I know.
If you're gonna sack me, just do it.
I get it, I'm an idiot.
Dennis.
No-one's getting sacked.
I just wanted to say that I'm not sure if I'm going to be sticking around.
This is cos of Mal, innit? He should go! Why's it you who has to leave? What I'm trying to say is, if I'm not around, it's important that you have a good relationship with the Watch.
Build some bridges.
You're always shooting out the door at the end of a shift, never stick around for a drink.
Things have been a bit hectic.
Guv, can I sleep in the dorm here for a bit? Not if you're not on duty.
You could always stay at mine for a bit, if you like.
I'd love that, guv.
I would.
All right, then.
Mate, I've been thinking about what you said No, listen.
This, you and me, this is a work issue.
Mate, it just needs more time.
It'll work itself out.
No, Mal, no.
One of us needs to do it.
I'm asking for a transfer.
No, that's not what I want.
Mate It's not It's not the right Mate, it's done.
Knees up, Mother Brown.
Cheers! Been thinking, saw this TV show, a big market for it, middle-aged career women left on the shelf, need dates for functions and that, all that potential Yeah, but mate, mate, mate, all these career women, do you really think they're interested in a streak of piss from Stalybridge who's still in love with his ex and cries at John Lewis adverts? Some of them.
I expect.
Probably have to shag them, you know.
Bit demeaning, that, innit? Not demeaning when girls do it, is it? I think it's generally accepted it is, mate.
Oh, bloody hell! Come here.
No, no, no.
You'll void the warranty.
Mince, I can do it! Just let me fiddle with your mounting flange.
It's easy as piss, you just Aaargh! Sike! Oh, yeah.
You're the gigolo that every woman dreams of.
"Screw Richard Gere, I want that twat with the bum-fluff.
" "Be still, my beating womb.
" Oh, cheers.
Wondered where this had got to.
What? What is that? Oi Oi, you have played havoc with my appliance! I won't forget this! I was in a bit of a mood.
Billy pissed off? He'll get over it.
I was the only one who saw it.
You spoken to her? She had a kid, Zig.
Ages ago, had it adopted.
Never told me.
Hi.
It's Ziggy.
Yeah, I know.
Your name came up.
Oh, right.
Technology, eh? Look, erm, I think you should come down and see Kev.
He's a bit wobbly.
He doesn't want to see me.
No, I'm not Well, I like you Well, I never not liked you Well, no, I know it must've been tough for you Oh, do you know that? Cos last time I checked, all you had for me were filthy looks.
Course he's wobbly, it's the anniversary of the fire next week, but seeing as I've rung him every day and he won't pick up, I dunno what I can do.
Weirdest thing I've found down a unit like this.
Guess.
Human hand.
Nah.
Human foot.
Nah.
Weirder than a human foot? Yep.
Go on.
A kitten's head.
Weirder, innit? Why is that? I dunno, just is, somehow.
Aaarghh! Already done that one, mate.
So you, er you trained as a plumber? It's what I did before I got into the service.
Well, if you ever want any freelance work, I've got more work than I can handle.
That's just our USP.
We get a lot of work from racists, but they're willing to pay a premium rate for an English pair of hands.
But I'm half-Irish.
Well.
Don't have to tell the clients though, do you? 'Mobilise.
Mobilise.
Mobilise.
Zero-four-papa-one, mobilise.
' 'Zero-four-papa-one, this is Control.
'Emergency reported at Limehouse Pumping Station - 'unaccompanied children on site, over.
' Because it's embarrassing, Steve.
Because she's my grandmother.
Hiya, Trish Tooley? I'm here to see Mr Caldwell.
It's my first day.
OK.
Yes, take a seat, please.
Did you call 999? The wasp stung him.
Snip! Get them away! Mince, Zig, first aid over here.
HQ, this is zero-four-papa-one.
Come on, girls, he's going to be OK.
Request presence of police Five unaccompanied minors, with one adult, anaphylactic shock, over.
We can't find Felisha.
Who's Felisha? She's my second best friend.
She started screaming when Mr Feeney fell over, she ran in there.
Mile End! Person reported, she went in there.
Al, you go in with Dennis! No.
No way.
Not after this morning.
Jesus! OK, Mal, will you partner Dennis, please? No problem, guv.
Looking for a girl, name of Felisha! Copy that.
Guv, shall I call the school and get them picked up? Felisha! Felisha! Felisha! I'm sorry.
About this morning.
Don't talk to me, Asbo.
Focus on the job.
Felisha! Trish.
I'm afraid there's been a bit of a mix-up.
A clerical error.
I thought that you'd been notified.
How do you mean, mix-up? Well, in light in your previous conviction, the Board feels The conviction's spent, I was In the interview, I was very open about that.
Yes.
We work with vulnerable young people.
And you do have a history of violence.
History? I don't have a history.
It was one incident, and I'm not No, I understand, but morally, the Board don't share my Morally? Jesus! Anyway, it's a development position.
I'll be fundraising at the end of a phone, not taking kids on a camping trip.
Even so.
You offered me the job.
My hands are tied.
I'm sorry.
No, it's I understand.
I'm Nieve.
I'm 10.
I'm Kev.
I'm 37.
You want to wait with your friends, sweetheart? Erm if you need paper, look, I've got loads.
No, we're good for paper, thanks.
Go and sit down.
I know we should have called the police, but we didn't want to get into trouble.
You're not getting in any trouble, sweetheart.
Don't worry.
You'll be fine, you did the right thing.
His face went all puffed up.
I know, love.
Er sit still.
All right? Don't move.
Felisha! Can you hear that? Can't hear nothing.
Here, look.
There's an opening.
We're not looking for Anne fucking Frank, Asbo, what's she gonna be doing down there? Asbo! Felisha! Felisha! Don't touch me! Do not fucking touch me! I have had it up to here with you today, swear to God.
All right, Jessie Ennis, you got me.
Felisha's afraid of the dark, Gurpreet's afraid of the dark, I'm a bit sometimes, but it's all right if Dad leaves the door open.
Like, not a lot, but a bit.
There's Felisha! Felisha! Felisha! Gaffer! Mal, we've got the kid, come out.
Sit still! I have to change your hair, it's really hard to draw.
Sorry.
Useless piece of shit.
Kev, I don't think you can hear me, I didn't catch that last bit.
Kev? Kev? Over there.
Used to be a factory, did you know that? No? My great-great-nan used to work there.
She was about your age, used to work ten hours a day making matches.
Yeah, we did a project on it.
They all got, like, this disease and it made their faces fall off.
Did your nan's face fall off? Don't think so.
She had ten babies after that, so probably not.
I'm not having babies.
Nah? Me neither.
Yeah, no, cos you have to take them, like, everywhere, and what if you wanted to go bowling? Yeah.
There is that.
Felisha! Kev? Kev? Kev! Shit! What the fuck? Kev? Kev? Kev We're trapped down here! Al, send a firefighter emergency message to Control.
Ziggy, grab the thermal imaging camera.
Hey, Snip, get them kids well away! Right, Mince, with me.
Guv.
Stop following me! Just stay there! Right, stay close to the edges.
Don't know how stable it is down here.
All right, Guv.
Dennis! Mal! Can you hear that? Yeah.
Guv.
I can smell something.
Yeah.
Me too.
Just get the camera on it, quick! Nothing.
They must be clear.
What can I smell? Gas.
Oh, Christ, Asbo.
Move! Move, Asbo! Move! Move! Aargh! "Every day above ground is a good day.
" Oh, you know that one? Yeah, Scarface, innit? Hand us that down.
There you go, guv.
Still nothing.
Must be far enough away now, right? You ever been up close to a gas explosion before? No! Oh, no! Oh, no, shit! That looks deep! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's nothing else we can do.
Asbo, you could drown down there.
Yeah? Yeah.
Go on, then.
Go ahead.
You should be the one leaving, not him.
Where d'you get off? It was a joke, just shut up.
A joke's a joke until it ain't funny - it's a bit rich when you're the one no-one gives two shits about.
Just save us all some time, just pack it all in, go and get a job flipping burgers or something.
Cos I don't know what the fuck you are, but you're not a firefighter, I'll tell you that for nothing! We have to get out of here, guv! Not yet.
Not yet.
What? What? What are you doing? Guv! Now! Listen to me, we have to go! Come on, out! Get out! No! No! Dennis! We're coming! Come on! We're coming! Pull him out! Pull him out, now! GO! Get out of my way! No! What are you playing at? Guv, it's too dangerous! What are you talking about? What are you? They're still in there! No! There's nothing you can do.
No! I can't let you go back in there.
All right? It'll be all right, love.
No.
No, I don't think it will.
Now, what makes you say that? Well, for a start, I'm talking to you.
Get off me! Get off me! I can do it by myself! Kev, can you hear me? Kev? I can lift you up.
Maybe we can reach the hole.
It's too high.
We'll never get up there! We've got to do something.
All right.
Let's do some synchronised swimming, shall we? That what you want? What is your problem? My problem is you.
Cos I'm stuck in here with a Churchill Estate nutjob.
Oh, here we go.
Where was you born, then? What's that got to do with anything, where I live? You've had it in for me from day one.
Oh, bollocks.
First day, I'm there ten minutes before you start calling me Asbo! Everyone gets a nickname.
Yeah, you know what the other watches call Guv? Ken.
Not fucking funny, is it? Specially when Barbie's sleeping with his best mate.
Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off! Get off! 'Mal?' Kev? Kev? Do you read me? Kev? We're about I think we're about half a mile north-east of you, we're trapped in some sort of overflow container.
There's no way out.
We're trapped in here.
Kev? Kev? Kev! Fuck! I've made contact, they're all right! OK, listen up, Mile End.
They're headed north-east, some sort of overflow tank.
I'm going to dive down.
See if I can find a way out.
Asbo, don't be an idiot.
Fuck! Guv, Nieve asked me to give you this.
Found a manhole cover, about ten metres this way.
Kev, Kev, think Asbo's found a way out.
It's a manhole cover, over.
I'd take your tunic off.
Seriously, you touch me again, I will knock your pikey teeth out.
It's this way.
Oh, God! Should be just under a building! I think it's this one! Mal? Mal? Here! Is that you? They're here! Oh, thank God.
Are you all right? Bloody hell! I thought you was You all right? Here, give us a blanket! Asbo saved my life.
Yeah? Nice one, Dennis! He was like David Hasselhoff or something.
You done so well.
Seriously.
Nice one, Asbo.
Good boy.
Were you scared? I'm proud of you, Asbo.
Good boy.
Good boy.
Well done, mate.
What, I don't even get a blanket? Hello? I don't even get a blanket? Fucking children! How long is this going to go on for, eh? Number of times I've saved you lot.
Little Al, you faint at the sight of Susan Boyle opening a supermarket, who drags you out? I had concussion! Concussion? You was born concussed, it's a wonder you can get your fucking trousers on in the morning.
And Mrs Doubtfire over there Come on, that's enough.
No, don't you You're the worst, Mince.
When your kitchen's flooded, who's the mug schlepping over to Gants Hill with the stirrup pump, eh? Eh?! I have been your mate, all of yous.
What, now you can't even talk to me? Well, I'll tell you what.
The night of that fire, it weren't you lot, peeling his skin off the bloody concrete, was it? Was it? Asbo, you feel all warm and cosy now, cos you got your pat on the head? Don't get too comfy.
Cos this lot are a pack of two-faced I love you! I'd never take nothing from you! What d'you think, "Oh, Kev ain't had had enough of a fucking "kicking lately, I'll help him out"? Day one, mate, I have never been nothing but in your corner, in your fucking corner! Do you know how many times this year that's all I've had in my head, what I've got left, I've got him and I've got her.
What have I got now, eh?! What have I got?! Let's go.
Come on.
It's all right, Den.
Don't Come on, nice hot shower and a Cuppa Soup, that's what you need.
Mate, Kaz is out tonight.
Her mum fell off a bus and has broken her hip.
So if we put the clocks forward, get the kids in bed by nine, and have ourselves a little Call of Duty marathon! Asbo, you fancy it, mate? Get in! Do you two ever leave the house? No.
I've got four kids, Zig.
My best mate lives in my spare room.
I've just got me hands on the Breaking Bad boxset and my wife looks like Jennifer Beals.
She really doesn't, mate.
Why would I leave the house? Did you do it? Yeah.
'Hi.
' Hiya, it's Trish.
I'm sorry to ring No, s'fine.
You all right? 'I fuck everything up, Zig.
' I get in these situations, you know what I mean, when you're having grief already, and then you make everything worse somehow.
Slow down.
What happened? I looked like such a knob.
I walked in there in a stupid suit all full of myself and then they said there'd been a mistake, there was no job, and I just, I just went to pieces.
'What did you do when they told you, you just left?' Yeah.
'Yeah, well, that was bloody stupid, wasn't it? 'You wanna hold your ground - that's your job.
' If you let people take things from you, they'll take them.
I never let anybody take anything from me, and if anybody tried, I'd come at them, and I'd come at them strong, you know what I mean? Yeah.
How's your kids, Zig? Yeah.
Rob's fine, but Little Al's a pain in the arse.
Asbo, you sexy beast! I'm, er, I'm really sorry about this morning, I just Got a lot on my mind.
Don't worry about it, mate.
Why don't you ever make cake, Mince? I dunno, Snip, why don't you ever eat with your mouth shut? Well, probably shouldn't, but there we go.
No carbs before Marbs, eh, Biggles? Cake! Nice one, Asbo.
I just wanted to say, I know some of you have had questions about someone's background, their personal hygiene but I don't want to talk about Ziggy right now.
Nah, seriously, it's really hard to come into a group of people who've worked together as long as we have, but he's one of our family now.
When I say that, I mean like, one of them weird cousins you only see at funerals, but all the same.
Oh, one more thing.
It's fucking embarrassing how easily you lot are won over by Mr Kipling, so have a think about that, yeah? Asbo.
Call for you in the office.
OK, so I cleared it with the pub, and Sukie's gonna get there by seven.
Who's gonna get him down there? What? Hello? Hello? Who is this? Gog? That you? This ain't funny.
Mr Caldwell? Trish, hi.
Look, I'm sorry, but I've got a board meeting starting No, it won't take a minute.
I had a baby, a long time ago, and she was born with cerebral palsy.
And that was It was It was maybe my fault and so, well, I had her adopted.
And that is something that I that I regret, and that I live with, so so, I have been waiting ten years for the chance to do something that even starts to make up for that.
And I won't mess it up.
I'm sure you wouldn't.
But I can get money out of people.
I'm good at that.
I know you won't believe me, but I really fought for your corner.
I don't know what else I can say to them.
Maybe if Would you be willing to come in and talk to them yourself? Yeah? Come on, come on.
All right.
You lot think I don't know what's going on? We're in the pub! Who is Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! Oh! Ziggy, you got such soft lips.
No! No! Oh, my God! Get me out of here! Mal! This is a nice surprise.
You want to take a seat? Coffee? Fancy something stronger? I, er I'm trying to lay off a bit at the moment, actually.
Let Mr Liver have a little holiday.
I want you to put a transfer request in for me.
Really? You've been there, what, ten years? 12.
I need a change.
Yeah, well, I'll see what I can do.
Always rookies who want to join your station, but you might have to compromise on the location.
I don't mind.
Anywhere.
Cheers, Nick, I appreciate it.
Is Kev all right? Don't ask me that.
Don't you dare ask me that.
Mal, come on, I'm just Everyone knows that you screwed him over that night.
See, no-one gives a toss if you make a mistake.
It's human, making a mistake.
But you lied about it, Nick.
He's a good man.
You're a coward.
At least have the decency not to pretend you give a shit now.
What's been bothering you, mate, money trouble? Nah, it's just My mum got attacked, in the flat.
Shit.
Is she all right? Yeah, yeah.
I sort of took care of it.
Fair play.
So what's the problem? Well, he's sort of a mate.
Doesn't matter.
Say Little Al here laid a finger on my mother, I'd be like this - "Step outside".
Like that! I'd never fight you, Snip.
Doesn't matter.
You'd have to step outside, it's the rules of engagement.
Think I did the right thing then? Yeah.
Hundred percent, mate.
Hundred fucking percent.
I'm gonna boost.
Asboid? Yeah.
I just got to nip back to the station.
Meet you out front? Yeah.
Hello, Chubs.
What you doing here? Free country.
Left Emily on her own, where you been?! Having a mooch.
Getting stitches.
You know, the usual.
I just thought I'd let you know that it's over for you now.
See, I'm coming for you, Chubs.
Whatever you think you've got here, that's a dream now.
And I'm a fucking alarm clock.
Hi.
'You picked up!' I did.
How was the first day? 'You remembered.
' 'Spent enough time watching you try on that bloody suit.
So?' Yeah, no, it were fine.
Er, Ziggy rung us.
She's worried about you.
Ziggy's got a sticky beak.
Where are you? I'm I'm outside my Grace's house.
Her mum wants us to tell her tonight, explain it to her.
She's only ten, I dunno how she'll take it, having that dropped on her.
You know when you when you had her? Was, was he there, holding your hand, all that? No.
He were in the pub.
He were in the pub a lot.
I would've been there.
I know you would.
Jesus, Kev, I've gotta go in there in a minute, I can't be You'll be fine.
She's lucky, got two mums and one of them's you.
I always had it in my head you'd be here for this bit.
She'd have such a crush on you, you know.
Yeah, I've been pretty popular with little girls lately.
Listen, next week, the anniversary, will you ring us if you need to? Yeah.
All right, thanks for ringing.
Because as a taxpayer, Trish, I'm asking - treating someone like that, how does that help recidivism? When she comes over, we'll sit her down, get it over with.
Look out, Sally Gunnell's here.
Hi, Grace.
Yeah, sit.
We had the Paralympic Scouts at school last week, she ran her best time yet, didn't you? But she's only ten.
Oh, they plan ahead.
2020, they said.
Anyway, I told them, we'll have to see how it fits in with her Mandarin classes.
Can I have a biscuit? No, Froggie, dinner soon.
S'for you.
Wow, what is it? Ah.
Thank you, sweetheart.
It's beautiful.
Right, Grace, come and sit between Trish and Mum.
Now, Grace, you know I'm your mum, but I that didn't give birth to you? Well, the reason I wanted you to meet Trish is because she's your birth mum.
And she wants to get to know you.
Will I still live here? Yes, Froggie, nothing's going to change, nothing at all.
Do you want to show her? That's you.
Dennis? Gog.
I just saw him and he's Fuck.
Fuck.
He's after me, guv, and I dunno I can't All right, all right, calm down, you can kip with me, I told you that.
You want him knowing where you live, do you?! 'If he wants to find me, he can find me.
' 'He's a boy.
You remember that.
' Whatever he seems like, he's a stupid, scared little boy.
And I can handle him.
I'm next door if you want me.
Thanks, guv.
She was adopted at birth.
Don't.
Mal, please don't.
She was looking for you and she she just found me.
I've lost everything, do you understand that? We need to sort this out.
No-one gives a toss about anything you have to say! Oi! Pauline Pynchon.
You can call me Pauline.
Rosa's baby died, Gog.
We killed a little girl.
Whatever happened, it's done.
Dennis will be safe with me.
All right? I'm looking out for him.
'Asbo, persons reported, talk to me 'Asbo, Asbo, do you copy, over?' Heavy smoke logging, visibility zero.
'Hurry up, Asbo, there's kids in there.
' Fire Service.
Anybody there? 'Asbo, roof isn't gonna hold.
I'm pulling you out.
' No, Mal.
Making the grab.
'Asbo!' It's all right, I'm a firefighter! "It's all right, I'm a firefighter!" Save me! Save me! Who's that? "Who's that?" Oi! What's happening? Get off me! I said get off me! Get off! Get off! Asbo! Asbo, calm down! Asbo! Get off me! Get off me! Burn room! Shut it down! Asbo, stop it! We're only having a laugh! Asbo! What the bloody hell's going on? What's wrong with you! Eh? You're taking the piss! He's mental! Leave it! I said leave it! Idiot.
You're a bloody idiot, Dennis! All of you, back to the station, now! Kev.
Kev.
Kev! Can we just Can we actually talk about this, please? We talked.
I've said everything I wanted to say to you.
I made myself really clear, didn't I? Unless, of course, you want to talk about a work issue.
This is a work issue.
He lost his shit! In a training exercise! The guy's a liability.
Probably having a bad day.
Yeah? Well, I don't want to find myself on a shout, worrying about if he's having a bad day or not.
Tell you what, I'm not partnering him, not after that.
Me neither.
It were like that, Zig, just snapped.
Some people ain't got no sense of humour.
I'm telling you, that kid is fucked up.
Doesn't mean anything to you? You're gonna take his side against mine? I'll deal with it.
How? Cos right now, I got a rookie I can't trust and a Watch Manager who won't speak to me.
Maybe we just can't work together any more.
Yeah, well, that would be great.
You get a transfer and leave the rest of us to deal with the Incredible Sulk out there.
All right? Can you smell something? Yeah, it's like BO and batshit? I messed up, I know.
If you're gonna sack me, just do it.
I get it, I'm an idiot.
Dennis.
No-one's getting sacked.
I just wanted to say that I'm not sure if I'm going to be sticking around.
This is cos of Mal, innit? He should go! Why's it you who has to leave? What I'm trying to say is, if I'm not around, it's important that you have a good relationship with the Watch.
Build some bridges.
You're always shooting out the door at the end of a shift, never stick around for a drink.
Things have been a bit hectic.
Guv, can I sleep in the dorm here for a bit? Not if you're not on duty.
You could always stay at mine for a bit, if you like.
I'd love that, guv.
I would.
All right, then.
Mate, I've been thinking about what you said No, listen.
This, you and me, this is a work issue.
Mate, it just needs more time.
It'll work itself out.
No, Mal, no.
One of us needs to do it.
I'm asking for a transfer.
No, that's not what I want.
Mate It's not It's not the right Mate, it's done.
Knees up, Mother Brown.
Cheers! Been thinking, saw this TV show, a big market for it, middle-aged career women left on the shelf, need dates for functions and that, all that potential Yeah, but mate, mate, mate, all these career women, do you really think they're interested in a streak of piss from Stalybridge who's still in love with his ex and cries at John Lewis adverts? Some of them.
I expect.
Probably have to shag them, you know.
Bit demeaning, that, innit? Not demeaning when girls do it, is it? I think it's generally accepted it is, mate.
Oh, bloody hell! Come here.
No, no, no.
You'll void the warranty.
Mince, I can do it! Just let me fiddle with your mounting flange.
It's easy as piss, you just Aaargh! Sike! Oh, yeah.
You're the gigolo that every woman dreams of.
"Screw Richard Gere, I want that twat with the bum-fluff.
" "Be still, my beating womb.
" Oh, cheers.
Wondered where this had got to.
What? What is that? Oi Oi, you have played havoc with my appliance! I won't forget this! I was in a bit of a mood.
Billy pissed off? He'll get over it.
I was the only one who saw it.
You spoken to her? She had a kid, Zig.
Ages ago, had it adopted.
Never told me.
Hi.
It's Ziggy.
Yeah, I know.
Your name came up.
Oh, right.
Technology, eh? Look, erm, I think you should come down and see Kev.
He's a bit wobbly.
He doesn't want to see me.
No, I'm not Well, I like you Well, I never not liked you Well, no, I know it must've been tough for you Oh, do you know that? Cos last time I checked, all you had for me were filthy looks.
Course he's wobbly, it's the anniversary of the fire next week, but seeing as I've rung him every day and he won't pick up, I dunno what I can do.
Weirdest thing I've found down a unit like this.
Guess.
Human hand.
Nah.
Human foot.
Nah.
Weirder than a human foot? Yep.
Go on.
A kitten's head.
Weirder, innit? Why is that? I dunno, just is, somehow.
Aaarghh! Already done that one, mate.
So you, er you trained as a plumber? It's what I did before I got into the service.
Well, if you ever want any freelance work, I've got more work than I can handle.
That's just our USP.
We get a lot of work from racists, but they're willing to pay a premium rate for an English pair of hands.
But I'm half-Irish.
Well.
Don't have to tell the clients though, do you? 'Mobilise.
Mobilise.
Mobilise.
Zero-four-papa-one, mobilise.
' 'Zero-four-papa-one, this is Control.
'Emergency reported at Limehouse Pumping Station - 'unaccompanied children on site, over.
' Because it's embarrassing, Steve.
Because she's my grandmother.
Hiya, Trish Tooley? I'm here to see Mr Caldwell.
It's my first day.
OK.
Yes, take a seat, please.
Did you call 999? The wasp stung him.
Snip! Get them away! Mince, Zig, first aid over here.
HQ, this is zero-four-papa-one.
Come on, girls, he's going to be OK.
Request presence of police Five unaccompanied minors, with one adult, anaphylactic shock, over.
We can't find Felisha.
Who's Felisha? She's my second best friend.
She started screaming when Mr Feeney fell over, she ran in there.
Mile End! Person reported, she went in there.
Al, you go in with Dennis! No.
No way.
Not after this morning.
Jesus! OK, Mal, will you partner Dennis, please? No problem, guv.
Looking for a girl, name of Felisha! Copy that.
Guv, shall I call the school and get them picked up? Felisha! Felisha! Felisha! I'm sorry.
About this morning.
Don't talk to me, Asbo.
Focus on the job.
Felisha! Trish.
I'm afraid there's been a bit of a mix-up.
A clerical error.
I thought that you'd been notified.
How do you mean, mix-up? Well, in light in your previous conviction, the Board feels The conviction's spent, I was In the interview, I was very open about that.
Yes.
We work with vulnerable young people.
And you do have a history of violence.
History? I don't have a history.
It was one incident, and I'm not No, I understand, but morally, the Board don't share my Morally? Jesus! Anyway, it's a development position.
I'll be fundraising at the end of a phone, not taking kids on a camping trip.
Even so.
You offered me the job.
My hands are tied.
I'm sorry.
No, it's I understand.
I'm Nieve.
I'm 10.
I'm Kev.
I'm 37.
You want to wait with your friends, sweetheart? Erm if you need paper, look, I've got loads.
No, we're good for paper, thanks.
Go and sit down.
I know we should have called the police, but we didn't want to get into trouble.
You're not getting in any trouble, sweetheart.
Don't worry.
You'll be fine, you did the right thing.
His face went all puffed up.
I know, love.
Er sit still.
All right? Don't move.
Felisha! Can you hear that? Can't hear nothing.
Here, look.
There's an opening.
We're not looking for Anne fucking Frank, Asbo, what's she gonna be doing down there? Asbo! Felisha! Felisha! Don't touch me! Do not fucking touch me! I have had it up to here with you today, swear to God.
All right, Jessie Ennis, you got me.
Felisha's afraid of the dark, Gurpreet's afraid of the dark, I'm a bit sometimes, but it's all right if Dad leaves the door open.
Like, not a lot, but a bit.
There's Felisha! Felisha! Felisha! Gaffer! Mal, we've got the kid, come out.
Sit still! I have to change your hair, it's really hard to draw.
Sorry.
Useless piece of shit.
Kev, I don't think you can hear me, I didn't catch that last bit.
Kev? Kev? Over there.
Used to be a factory, did you know that? No? My great-great-nan used to work there.
She was about your age, used to work ten hours a day making matches.
Yeah, we did a project on it.
They all got, like, this disease and it made their faces fall off.
Did your nan's face fall off? Don't think so.
She had ten babies after that, so probably not.
I'm not having babies.
Nah? Me neither.
Yeah, no, cos you have to take them, like, everywhere, and what if you wanted to go bowling? Yeah.
There is that.
Felisha! Kev? Kev? Kev! Shit! What the fuck? Kev? Kev? Kev We're trapped down here! Al, send a firefighter emergency message to Control.
Ziggy, grab the thermal imaging camera.
Hey, Snip, get them kids well away! Right, Mince, with me.
Guv.
Stop following me! Just stay there! Right, stay close to the edges.
Don't know how stable it is down here.
All right, Guv.
Dennis! Mal! Can you hear that? Yeah.
Guv.
I can smell something.
Yeah.
Me too.
Just get the camera on it, quick! Nothing.
They must be clear.
What can I smell? Gas.
Oh, Christ, Asbo.
Move! Move, Asbo! Move! Move! Aargh! "Every day above ground is a good day.
" Oh, you know that one? Yeah, Scarface, innit? Hand us that down.
There you go, guv.
Still nothing.
Must be far enough away now, right? You ever been up close to a gas explosion before? No! Oh, no! Oh, no, shit! That looks deep! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's nothing else we can do.
Asbo, you could drown down there.
Yeah? Yeah.
Go on, then.
Go ahead.
You should be the one leaving, not him.
Where d'you get off? It was a joke, just shut up.
A joke's a joke until it ain't funny - it's a bit rich when you're the one no-one gives two shits about.
Just save us all some time, just pack it all in, go and get a job flipping burgers or something.
Cos I don't know what the fuck you are, but you're not a firefighter, I'll tell you that for nothing! We have to get out of here, guv! Not yet.
Not yet.
What? What? What are you doing? Guv! Now! Listen to me, we have to go! Come on, out! Get out! No! No! Dennis! We're coming! Come on! We're coming! Pull him out! Pull him out, now! GO! Get out of my way! No! What are you playing at? Guv, it's too dangerous! What are you talking about? What are you? They're still in there! No! There's nothing you can do.
No! I can't let you go back in there.
All right? It'll be all right, love.
No.
No, I don't think it will.
Now, what makes you say that? Well, for a start, I'm talking to you.
Get off me! Get off me! I can do it by myself! Kev, can you hear me? Kev? I can lift you up.
Maybe we can reach the hole.
It's too high.
We'll never get up there! We've got to do something.
All right.
Let's do some synchronised swimming, shall we? That what you want? What is your problem? My problem is you.
Cos I'm stuck in here with a Churchill Estate nutjob.
Oh, here we go.
Where was you born, then? What's that got to do with anything, where I live? You've had it in for me from day one.
Oh, bollocks.
First day, I'm there ten minutes before you start calling me Asbo! Everyone gets a nickname.
Yeah, you know what the other watches call Guv? Ken.
Not fucking funny, is it? Specially when Barbie's sleeping with his best mate.
Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off me! Get off! Get off! 'Mal?' Kev? Kev? Do you read me? Kev? We're about I think we're about half a mile north-east of you, we're trapped in some sort of overflow container.
There's no way out.
We're trapped in here.
Kev? Kev? Kev! Fuck! I've made contact, they're all right! OK, listen up, Mile End.
They're headed north-east, some sort of overflow tank.
I'm going to dive down.
See if I can find a way out.
Asbo, don't be an idiot.
Fuck! Guv, Nieve asked me to give you this.
Found a manhole cover, about ten metres this way.
Kev, Kev, think Asbo's found a way out.
It's a manhole cover, over.
I'd take your tunic off.
Seriously, you touch me again, I will knock your pikey teeth out.
It's this way.
Oh, God! Should be just under a building! I think it's this one! Mal? Mal? Here! Is that you? They're here! Oh, thank God.
Are you all right? Bloody hell! I thought you was You all right? Here, give us a blanket! Asbo saved my life.
Yeah? Nice one, Dennis! He was like David Hasselhoff or something.
You done so well.
Seriously.
Nice one, Asbo.
Good boy.
Were you scared? I'm proud of you, Asbo.
Good boy.
Good boy.
Well done, mate.
What, I don't even get a blanket? Hello? I don't even get a blanket? Fucking children! How long is this going to go on for, eh? Number of times I've saved you lot.
Little Al, you faint at the sight of Susan Boyle opening a supermarket, who drags you out? I had concussion! Concussion? You was born concussed, it's a wonder you can get your fucking trousers on in the morning.
And Mrs Doubtfire over there Come on, that's enough.
No, don't you You're the worst, Mince.
When your kitchen's flooded, who's the mug schlepping over to Gants Hill with the stirrup pump, eh? Eh?! I have been your mate, all of yous.
What, now you can't even talk to me? Well, I'll tell you what.
The night of that fire, it weren't you lot, peeling his skin off the bloody concrete, was it? Was it? Asbo, you feel all warm and cosy now, cos you got your pat on the head? Don't get too comfy.
Cos this lot are a pack of two-faced I love you! I'd never take nothing from you! What d'you think, "Oh, Kev ain't had had enough of a fucking "kicking lately, I'll help him out"? Day one, mate, I have never been nothing but in your corner, in your fucking corner! Do you know how many times this year that's all I've had in my head, what I've got left, I've got him and I've got her.
What have I got now, eh?! What have I got?! Let's go.
Come on.
It's all right, Den.
Don't Come on, nice hot shower and a Cuppa Soup, that's what you need.
Mate, Kaz is out tonight.
Her mum fell off a bus and has broken her hip.
So if we put the clocks forward, get the kids in bed by nine, and have ourselves a little Call of Duty marathon! Asbo, you fancy it, mate? Get in! Do you two ever leave the house? No.
I've got four kids, Zig.
My best mate lives in my spare room.
I've just got me hands on the Breaking Bad boxset and my wife looks like Jennifer Beals.
She really doesn't, mate.
Why would I leave the house? Did you do it? Yeah.
'Hi.
' Hiya, it's Trish.
I'm sorry to ring No, s'fine.
You all right? 'I fuck everything up, Zig.
' I get in these situations, you know what I mean, when you're having grief already, and then you make everything worse somehow.
Slow down.
What happened? I looked like such a knob.
I walked in there in a stupid suit all full of myself and then they said there'd been a mistake, there was no job, and I just, I just went to pieces.
'What did you do when they told you, you just left?' Yeah.
'Yeah, well, that was bloody stupid, wasn't it? 'You wanna hold your ground - that's your job.
' If you let people take things from you, they'll take them.
I never let anybody take anything from me, and if anybody tried, I'd come at them, and I'd come at them strong, you know what I mean? Yeah.
How's your kids, Zig? Yeah.
Rob's fine, but Little Al's a pain in the arse.
Asbo, you sexy beast! I'm, er, I'm really sorry about this morning, I just Got a lot on my mind.
Don't worry about it, mate.
Why don't you ever make cake, Mince? I dunno, Snip, why don't you ever eat with your mouth shut? Well, probably shouldn't, but there we go.
No carbs before Marbs, eh, Biggles? Cake! Nice one, Asbo.
I just wanted to say, I know some of you have had questions about someone's background, their personal hygiene but I don't want to talk about Ziggy right now.
Nah, seriously, it's really hard to come into a group of people who've worked together as long as we have, but he's one of our family now.
When I say that, I mean like, one of them weird cousins you only see at funerals, but all the same.
Oh, one more thing.
It's fucking embarrassing how easily you lot are won over by Mr Kipling, so have a think about that, yeah? Asbo.
Call for you in the office.
OK, so I cleared it with the pub, and Sukie's gonna get there by seven.
Who's gonna get him down there? What? Hello? Hello? Who is this? Gog? That you? This ain't funny.
Mr Caldwell? Trish, hi.
Look, I'm sorry, but I've got a board meeting starting No, it won't take a minute.
I had a baby, a long time ago, and she was born with cerebral palsy.
And that was It was It was maybe my fault and so, well, I had her adopted.
And that is something that I that I regret, and that I live with, so so, I have been waiting ten years for the chance to do something that even starts to make up for that.
And I won't mess it up.
I'm sure you wouldn't.
But I can get money out of people.
I'm good at that.
I know you won't believe me, but I really fought for your corner.
I don't know what else I can say to them.
Maybe if Would you be willing to come in and talk to them yourself? Yeah? Come on, come on.
All right.
You lot think I don't know what's going on? We're in the pub! Who is Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! Oh! Ziggy, you got such soft lips.
No! No! Oh, my God! Get me out of here! Mal! This is a nice surprise.
You want to take a seat? Coffee? Fancy something stronger? I, er I'm trying to lay off a bit at the moment, actually.
Let Mr Liver have a little holiday.
I want you to put a transfer request in for me.
Really? You've been there, what, ten years? 12.
I need a change.
Yeah, well, I'll see what I can do.
Always rookies who want to join your station, but you might have to compromise on the location.
I don't mind.
Anywhere.
Cheers, Nick, I appreciate it.
Is Kev all right? Don't ask me that.
Don't you dare ask me that.
Mal, come on, I'm just Everyone knows that you screwed him over that night.
See, no-one gives a toss if you make a mistake.
It's human, making a mistake.
But you lied about it, Nick.
He's a good man.
You're a coward.
At least have the decency not to pretend you give a shit now.
What's been bothering you, mate, money trouble? Nah, it's just My mum got attacked, in the flat.
Shit.
Is she all right? Yeah, yeah.
I sort of took care of it.
Fair play.
So what's the problem? Well, he's sort of a mate.
Doesn't matter.
Say Little Al here laid a finger on my mother, I'd be like this - "Step outside".
Like that! I'd never fight you, Snip.
Doesn't matter.
You'd have to step outside, it's the rules of engagement.
Think I did the right thing then? Yeah.
Hundred percent, mate.
Hundred fucking percent.
I'm gonna boost.
Asboid? Yeah.
I just got to nip back to the station.
Meet you out front? Yeah.
Hello, Chubs.
What you doing here? Free country.
Left Emily on her own, where you been?! Having a mooch.
Getting stitches.
You know, the usual.
I just thought I'd let you know that it's over for you now.
See, I'm coming for you, Chubs.
Whatever you think you've got here, that's a dream now.
And I'm a fucking alarm clock.
Hi.
'You picked up!' I did.
How was the first day? 'You remembered.
' 'Spent enough time watching you try on that bloody suit.
So?' Yeah, no, it were fine.
Er, Ziggy rung us.
She's worried about you.
Ziggy's got a sticky beak.
Where are you? I'm I'm outside my Grace's house.
Her mum wants us to tell her tonight, explain it to her.
She's only ten, I dunno how she'll take it, having that dropped on her.
You know when you when you had her? Was, was he there, holding your hand, all that? No.
He were in the pub.
He were in the pub a lot.
I would've been there.
I know you would.
Jesus, Kev, I've gotta go in there in a minute, I can't be You'll be fine.
She's lucky, got two mums and one of them's you.
I always had it in my head you'd be here for this bit.
She'd have such a crush on you, you know.
Yeah, I've been pretty popular with little girls lately.
Listen, next week, the anniversary, will you ring us if you need to? Yeah.
All right, thanks for ringing.
Because as a taxpayer, Trish, I'm asking - treating someone like that, how does that help recidivism? When she comes over, we'll sit her down, get it over with.
Look out, Sally Gunnell's here.
Hi, Grace.
Yeah, sit.
We had the Paralympic Scouts at school last week, she ran her best time yet, didn't you? But she's only ten.
Oh, they plan ahead.
2020, they said.
Anyway, I told them, we'll have to see how it fits in with her Mandarin classes.
Can I have a biscuit? No, Froggie, dinner soon.
S'for you.
Wow, what is it? Ah.
Thank you, sweetheart.
It's beautiful.
Right, Grace, come and sit between Trish and Mum.
Now, Grace, you know I'm your mum, but I that didn't give birth to you? Well, the reason I wanted you to meet Trish is because she's your birth mum.
And she wants to get to know you.
Will I still live here? Yes, Froggie, nothing's going to change, nothing at all.
Do you want to show her? That's you.
Dennis? Gog.
I just saw him and he's Fuck.
Fuck.
He's after me, guv, and I dunno I can't All right, all right, calm down, you can kip with me, I told you that.
You want him knowing where you live, do you?! 'If he wants to find me, he can find me.
' 'He's a boy.
You remember that.
' Whatever he seems like, he's a stupid, scared little boy.
And I can handle him.
I'm next door if you want me.
Thanks, guv.