The Twilight Zone (2019) s01e05 Episode Script
The Wunderkind
1 [BEEPING.]
ORDERLY [OVER INTERCOM.]
: He's waking up.
Can you hear me, Mr.
Hanks? What's going on? Try to relax.
Do you know your name? Raff Hanks.
Great.
Do you know who the president is? [CROWD CHEERING.]
CROWD [CHANTING.]
: Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! MAURA: Well, you did it.
We did it.
CROWD: Four more years! Stevens did it.
All right.
But with our help.
Our numbers, our data.
We gave him this election.
Can you not jinx things? I mean, no one's even counted any votes yet.
Oh, God.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I almost forgot.
Guess what came in the mail today.
Hmm.
Subtle.
They never thought Stevens would get reelected.
Especially not with me running his campaign.
They were wrong.
Again, can you just not jinx things? Come on, you've seen the polls.
You see the crowds? We took the most unpopular president in American history, and we turned it around.
I want Justin Timberlake to play me in the HBO movie.
You really think they're going to turn this into a movie? Of course they are.
It's only the greatest comeback in American history.
Well, now you've really jinxed things, so Raff, Maura, the results are coming in.
The president wants to see you.
CROWD: Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! It all started out so well.
ORDERLY: Do you know why you're here, Raff who did this to you? Do you know where you are? Who are you? I'm here by order of the president of the United States.
[SIGHS.]
Then I'm fucked.
Hey.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
STEVENS: What the fuck, Raff?! Mr.
President? They're saying I just lost New York, lost New Jersey.
I'm from fuckin' New Jersey.
I'm Mr.
Fuckin' New Jersey! We're losing the whole goddamn country! - No, my data says - Oh, your data's horseshit! I listened to you.
I listened to you.
Your numbers and your polls and your fancy data and your high-tech baloney.
And guess what.
I lost.
I am a one-term joke.
I'm a diaper filled with baby shit, and it is all your fault! Fuck! Raff, listen, it's gonna be okay.
All right? You can come back from this.
I mean, you're the wunderkind, right? REPORTER [ON TV.]
: Voters are angry.
After two years in office, the president is facing increasing criticism for his handling of the economy, increasing crime, the environment, and foreign policy.
MAN: I mean, the world is a mess.
And these politicians, they're not helping anybody.
We should just throw out the whole system, start over again.
Well, let me ask my distinguished panel.
What should the president do about the situation in the Middle East? Thanks for asking, Sam.
"Well, you're one of the most admired political minds in the business.
" That I am, Sam.
That I am.
I just can't pay my rent.
Hey, buddy.
You really ran Stevens' campaign? I did.
I ran it right into the ground.
[LAUGHS.]
REPORTER: In lighter news Tommy, come on, hit me with another.
look no further than 11-year-old YouTube sensation Oliver Foley.
His latest video is racking up millions of hits because Oliver's running for president.
Oh, hey, hi.
I'm Oliver Henry Foley, and I'm announcing my candidacy for president of the USA.
Here's why.
I want people to be nice to each other.
I really do.
I know it sounds cheesy, but it's the truth.
And it's a good enough reason to run for president as any.
I also believe that everyone should go to school and play video games, because it's good for your hand-eye coordination.
I may be a kid, but I sure do get America.
It's the land of equality and freedom for everyone.
Except maybe my little sister.
You should run that kid's campaign.
- He tells it like it is.
- That's crazy.
Eight million views crazy.
Considering all the crap coming out of Washington, I'd vote for that kid in a heartbeat.
Me, too.
I like what he's saying.
He's a little cutie.
Meet Raff Hanks, a wunderkind.
Once the most successful campaign manager of his generation.
Now Raff finds himself in a valley of booze and regret.
One filled with bad choices and even worse polling.
He's about to embark on a misguided road to redemption.
And on his way back to the top, he'll have to take a dark detour through The Twilight Zone.
[THE TWILIGHT ZONETHEME PLAYING.]
NARRATOR: You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.
It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition.
And it lies between the pit of one's fears and the summit of one's knowledge.
You are now traveling through a dimension of imagination.
You've just crossed over into The Twilight Zone.
ORDERLY: Mr.
Hanks, you did a great service for our country.
Jesus.
Our country? I saw an angle, man.
I saw my shot, I took it.
[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
[GROANING.]
Mmm.
This really is delicious.
- Mmm.
- OLIVER: Tuesdays is spaghetti, and Wednesdays is hamburgers.
Cheeseburgers.
Cheeseburgers, if you're into that.
Can you pass the Parmesan cheese? - Oliver.
- Yeah? Do you really want to be president? Yep.
I'm sick of all the war stuff and the environment stuff and the fact that everybody lies all the time and that we only get two weeks off at Christmas break.
Wait.
If Oliver gets to be president, do I get to be vice president? Uh, maybe, honey.
Eat your salad.
I first started my YouTube channel because my friend Charlie had one, and I wanted one, too.
Then I started vlogging about Minecraft, which was sort of boring because Minecraftis for little kids, and I'm not little anymore.
Then I started vlogging about Fortnite, which got me a bunch of views.
But then I decided to run for president, and I got 12 million views.
And then you showed up.
And then I showed up.
What'd I just say? HELEN: Really, Raff, why are you here? I know this thing has gotten a lot of coverage, but he's a kid, it's a joke.
Not to me.
People are really responding to what Oliver is saying.
- He's 11.
- It's a technicality.
[LAUGHS.]
To being president.
Listen, your name will be on the ballot.
He'll just be the one in charge.
Oh.
This is getting better and better.
Listen, A-Andrew Johnson was a tailor.
Teddy Roosevelt was a rancher.
Jimmy Carter was a peanut farmer.
This country is very open to leaders without political baggage.
Raff, I googled you.
I did some research.
I know you've had a hard run.
You battled the booze Joseph, I'm off it, completely.
I am a new man.
I mean, I am drinking chamomile tea, for the love of Pete.
Well, still, we see what you're trying to do here.
You're an opportunist.
Of course I am.
I need this.
This is what I do.
But Oliver, your son, has tapped into something very, very real.
He connects with people.
Do you realize how rare that is in politics, to actually connect with people? I honestly believe Oliver can be president.
Come on, now And win or lose, when all this is said and done, he will have had the experience of a lifetime.
And he will have made enough money from endorsements and TV deals and book deals to pay for his college and Lily's college, the dog's college.
You'll have your face back on TV.
Exactly.
Everybody wins, nobody gets hurt.
This is the American dream.
We're making a new video.
Lily's gonna film it.
You want to watch? It's gonna be awesome.
[SIGHS.]
[ALL LAUGHING.]
[MONITOR BEEPING.]
[GROANING.]
- LILY: Go.
- Go? - Yes.
- Now? - Go now.
- Okay.
Here are the ten things I promise the American people if I'm elected president.
Oh.
Hi, Homer.
This is Homer.
Anyways, number one: jobs.
Jobs for everyone.
Number two: long weekends, longer vacations.
Number three: less Star Warsmovies.
Number four: better air to breathe, which means more bikes and less cars.
[OVER MEGAPHONE.]
: Number five: less war.
Number six: dogs for dog people and cats for cat people.
Number seven: more pancake houses throughout the land, please.
Number eight: free video games for every American! Number nine: every month has to have its own holiday.
Number ten: dessert is before dinner! [CHEERING, APPLAUSE.]
Got hot dogs waiting on the bus.
Ketchup and mustard.
The little juice boxes like you like.
And baby carrots? Of course.
With ranch dressing.
I'm no monster.
We got CNN and Fox this afternoon, Rachel Maddow tonight.
She's nice.
Super nice.
And you promised me the interview with the Times, remember? Only if we can stop at the water park on the way back to the airport.
You got it.
Hey, what about the song? And the music video? I get a lot of views with my videos.
Recording studio booked, dancers are rehearsing.
It's been two months now.
You can do better, Raff.
You're right.
I can do better.
MAURA: Wow.
The wunderkind and the wunderkind.
Maura McGowan.
What are you doing here on the mean streets of rural Iowa? I saw your mug on TV, figured I'd come say hi.
You want to get the band back together again, don't you? I wrote you off after Stevens.
I was wrong.
"I was wrong.
" My three favorite words in the English language.
Okay, don't push it.
You know you missed me, Maura.
A little bit.
Good.
Come on.
MAURA: So what are we going to do, though, when it all, you know, blows up in our faces? [RAFF LAUGHS.]
ORDERLY: Look, Mr.
Hanks, we're going to have to operate.
Your condition is not stable.
I'm not sure that I ever was.
A stable person would've seen what was happening.
Hey, hey, hey Let's hit it We the people all across the nation It's about time for a celebration Bright future is the new sensation Time to break free like summer vacation Put your hands up if you feel that, whoa - If you had enough - Hey.
- Hey.
- Those national ads done yet? - We have that TV space on hold.
- Almost.
Oliver hasn't signed off yet completely, but he will.
- He will.
- I hope so.
You know, his last set of notes were four pages long, all handwritten and mostly involved inserting more shots of his dog.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
He's smart.
The kid's smart.
Hey! - Young enough to hope, oh, oh, oh - I know.
So good.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeehaw Young enough to hope, oh, oh Oh, old enough to vote We can do this.
DIRECTOR: That's a cut! - [APPLAUSE.]
- [BELL RINGING.]
Man, that kid is cute, though.
- Fuckin' A he is.
- HELEN: I'm sorry, we have that doctor's appointment to get to now.
No way, Mom! Oliver, do not argue with your mother.
OLIVER: I'm not going! I'm not.
HELEN: You're going to the doctor.
End of discussion.
- No! - Yes! - Bullshit! - BOTH: Oliver! OLIVER: I hate the doctor.
It's always some old man with bad breath stabbing me with needles.
HELEN: The doctor is just there to make sure that you are good and healthy.
OLIVER: I am healthy! I just danced for, like, five hours! HELEN: You're going to the doctor.
End of discussion, young man.
- I hate you! - Oliver! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you.
I hate you.
I saw what I wanted to.
OLIVER: Let's hit it Self-evident Oliver for president He's the one we need to be the White House resident Well, Oliver's not one of these greasy-palmed hucksters.
[CHUCKLES.]
: We got plenty enough of those.
There's something inspirational about starting off with someone fresh.
You know, someone that believes in the things that I believe in.
Young enough to hope, oh, oh, oh, old enough to vote He wants to make this country stronger.
I mean, he wants to bring us back to basics, back to what made this, this nation great.
My grandkids love him.
[BEATBOXING.]
Hey, hey, hey MAN [OVER TV.]
: He's making promises just like a politician would, but Oliver Foley is undeniably different.
There's a momentum here of a kind I haven't seen before.
It doesn't matter how old he is to me.
H-He could be eight years old, he could be eight months old for all I care.
- He's got my vote.
- WOMAN: What's amazing is that this kid is in the race at all, let alone now just six points down in the latest national polls.
Oliver Foley has captured the imagination of the American public.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeehaw Young enough to hope, oh, oh, oh Old enough to vote We can do this.
MAURA: Oliver, your competitors have called you "uninformed, ill-informed, or not informed at all" when it comes to global politics.
Can you respond to their complaints? What do you feel we should be doing with our troops still in Iraq? I-I'm glad you asked me about Iraq.
It's-it's an it's an intriguing question, and it is well worth answering, just not in 60-second sound-bites.
LARRY: Wait.
Hold on.
I don't even know what that fucking means.
- ALL: Language.
- Sorry, but this is ridiculous.
He hasn't memorized anything I've asked him to, and the first primary debate is one week away.
I don't know why you hired me.
He can't be coached.
- It's a goddamn shit-show.
- Enough! You're right, I don't know why I hired you, it wasa mistake.
Frankly, we don't need another canned answer that people are gonna know is baloney.
LARRY: He's gonna be embarrassed.
It's a joke and he's a sideshow.
OLIVER: A sideshow who's only six points down in Iowa and whose latest music video has 56 million views.
He's got you there, Larry.
Kid knows his YouTube.
[SIGHS.]
Larry you're fired.
Is he right, Raff? Am I gonna be embarrassed? We have had decades of politicians who claim to know everything, and where has that taken this country, Oliver? It's taken us straight into the crapper.
You're gonna be fine.
You just do your thing, okay? Thanks, Raff.
Oh.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
I mean, I guess I don't really understand taxes, if that's really your qu-question.
I mean, taxes are good, except when they're bad.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING.]
But they're mostly good, right? - U-Um uh - MAN: Wow.
Uh, except in Monopoly.
Then they're bad.
- And [WHIMPERS.]
- PETE: Hey, nice work there, guys.
Real car accident.
- You know what, Pete? - Just leave it.
We were worried there for a little while, but this? - This is beautiful.
- WOMAN: I think there's a dogcatcher race in Florenceville Junction, Raff.
Maybe you could get on that campaign.
That's really funny.
That's really funny.
- Okay Just let it go.
- Congratulations.
We trusted you.
Listen, your boy's gonna get his sea legs soon, I know it.
I can feel it.
He's gonna be fine.
His sea legs? This is a disaster.
- No.
Joseph - They're destroying him, Raff.
- [CRYING.]
- They're destroying my boy.
- No, he's gonna be f - Lily, Lily, sweetheart He's gonna be you guys.
Come on.
You guys [OLIVER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[LAUGHTER.]
OLIVER: Mom? - Mom? Mom? - [LAUGHTER.]
Mom.
[BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
[RAFF GASPING.]
Try to relax.
If you're gonna do it, just do it.
The doctor was held up.
He's on a different level.
He's on his way.
- RAFF [SCREAMS.]
: God! - Mr.
Hanks! Put me under! Save my life or let me die, man! [PANTING.]
NEWSCASTER: Two days before Iowa votes in the first caucus or primary of the season, the race is truly shaping up after the embarrassing flameout of 11-year-old Oliver Foley in a disastrous campaign led by Raff Hanks, one that will be analyzed and joked about for decades to Thanks for taking pity on me, Tommy.
I don't have pity on you, Raff.
I just don't want you crying in the bar again.
Scares the customers.
Right.
Well, so much for that chamomile tea phase, huh? Yeah, I replaced it with the "decimate your liver" phase.
It's much more enjoyable.
[CHUCKLES.]
Tommy, would you get this fine lady a bourbon on the rocks, please? Make it a double, please.
Oh, that's my girl.
How you holding up? Well, better than you are, apparently.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thanks.
Oh, wow.
[CHUCKLES.]
So what are you doing here? I got things to do.
I got nuts to eat.
I got beer to cry into.
No, I really am here, actually, to see how you're doing.
And from the looks of things, it's not a pretty picture.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know what the worst part is? Hmm? I started this whole thing to get out of the mess I was in, but somewhere along the line, I started liking what the kid was saying.
Uh-oh.
- Yeah.
- Not the whole "I actually believe my candidate" story.
- I do believe in him.
- [CHUCKLES.]
All right, he didn't know shit about the tax code.
But he was human.
He was vulnerable, and that's more than I can say about everybody else up there.
You know, I never should have let him go on the debate stage.
He should've kept making his videos.
We could've done one about world peace.
He could've been holding a-a homemade globe, and everyone would have eaten it up, and no one - would give a shit about the debate.
- You know what? It's too late now.
Right? Yeah.
Yeah, it's too late.
You know, I actually stopped by their place.
The Foleys.
You did? How they doing? Um to be expected.
Maybe a little bit worse.
Well, you know their dog, Homer? Yeah? He's got some kind of cancer.
He's gonna die.
No.
No.
Yeah.
Oh, God, I fucked everything up.
I even killed their dog.
Oliver says hi, though.
He did? He doesn't blame you.
He wanted me to tell you that.
Oh, he's a good kid.
He also wanted me to ask you if you thought it was okay for him to post a vlog about his dying dog.
Why not, I guess.
I mean, that's what I said.
It's really sad, you know? I mean, it's sweet how much he cares about that poor animal.
Oh, Jesus.
It's perfect.
A vlog about a dying dog.
Oh, my God, provided it's done correctly, it's perfect.
- Raff - Are we on the ballot still? Please tell me we are still on the ballot.
It was too late to get us taken off, but Raff, what are you doing? I am getting Oliver Foley elected president of the United States of America.
We're winning this goddamn election! That's not good.
[PANTING.]
OLIVER: This is Homer.
My dog.
He's a Labradoodle.
I've known him my whole life.
He's the best dog in the whole wide world.
He's also dying.
He has cancer.
A dog type of cancer that's sort of incurable.
Come on.
Come over.
This is my sister Lily.
And these are my parents.
It's pretty clear I don't know nearly enough to be president alone.
But if you elect me, I'll surround myself with the nicest and smartest people.
I'll work so hard to make you proud and make sure that you can hug your sick pets longer and that you'll get to spend as many healthy days as possible with the ones you love.
Because family family's everything.
[DOG WHIMPERS.]
Hey Let's hit it - [LOUD CHEERING.]
- We the people all across the nation It's about time for a celebration Oliver Foley, surprising every pollster in Iowa, has won the first caucus.
In a stunning come- from-behind upset, 11-year-old Oliver Foley has won the Iowa caucus.
[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN.]
I don't know why people are so surprised.
I mean, Oliver really connects with people.
He was the 13th story on the news, and together we made him headline material.
I mean, a-after tonight, I-I think he's poised to win the whole thing.
I really do.
Really? All the national polls put him very far behind.
Listen, polls are meaningless when the American people find someone who honestly and truly speaks to their core values.
Oh, oh, oh, old enough to vote We can do this.
[CHUCKLES.]
["HAIL TO THE CHIEF" PLAYING.]
[CHEERING.]
[CHEERING CONTINUES.]
I'm the President! Yeah! This is so cool.
[GRUNTS.]
This is the president.
Bomb Russia! I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Don't worry.
Can't believe I get to live here now.
Well, you're in charge now, Oliver uh, Mr.
President.
You're the leader of the free world.
Well as leader of the free world, we need to fulfill my campaign promises.
- ASAP.
- Absolutely.
First off, free video games for every American.
Nintendo, PlayStation, whatever they want.
Um [CHUCKLES.]
Oliver Honey, I don't think that we can quite just do that.
What are you talking about, Mom? Well, I mean that there are laws.
Congress.
[WHISPERING.]
: We talked about this, remember, honey? But I promised everyone video games, and you, Mr.
Chief of Staff, are gonna make sure that happens.
Well, I'm not quite sure that Congress is gonna go for that, Mr.
President, especially given the way the national debt looks right now.
And plus, companies aren't just going to willingly give away their games.
Guess they'll just have to.
- Yes, but - But nothing.
They have to.
I made a promise.
So, they give away 270 million games to every American, or we put a surcharge tax of a million dollars a Game Boy and put them out of business in a day.
The people voted.
We have to give 'em what we promised.
- Hey, Oliver.
- Mr.
President.
Sorry, Raff, but it sounds really cool.
You're right.
Mr.
President, maybe we should, uh, hold off on the video game thing until you get settled in I'm settled in, Raff, and I know what I want.
And you guys are gonna get that done for me or I'll get otherpeople to get it done for me.
There won't be a shortage of people who want to work for the new president of the United States.
Now where's the White House kitchen? I want a triple-scoop chocolate chip mint, vanilla and coffee ice cream sundae with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and sprinkles! [DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[CHIRPING.]
OLIVER: I want to make a new vlog of me singing and all these dancers around me dressed like soldiers.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not sure if vlogging is the best way to communicate.
Of course it is.
I want to sing about world peace.
The lyrics should be something like, "Either you're with peace, or you're not," and if they're not, we start to kill off all the dancers.
- SENIOR AIDE: Um - I mean, not for real, obviously.
But in the video, all bloody and stuff.
It'll be cool.
[BARKING.]
Dog selection today, Mr.
President.
Finally! Hi.
Hello! Oh, yes, you are so sweet.
Hey, come here, come here.
Okay, no.
No.
No.
Maybe.
No.
Maybe.
No.
[GASPS.]
This one! This guy right here! No, no, no, this one.
He's perfect.
My new Homer.
It's a female dog, sir.
What? Ew! What were you thinking? - I thought, um - Thought what? I want a new Homer! Does Homer sound like a girl's name to you? Well, there's other dogs here, sir.
Get rid of 'em.
I don't want 'em.
Um, sir? These dogs were selected from the pound.
I don't really care.
I don't want them.
SENIOR AIDE: Okay.
It is, however, time for your physical.
Physical? No way.
Well, I'm sorry, Mr.
President, but Congress requires that the president get a yearly physical.
Well, then fire Congress.
SENIOR AIDE: We can't quite do that.
Well, I'm not gonna see any doctor.
Especially an old man doctor.
Okay, but it's scheduled for today, so Well, then un-schedule it.
And never rescheduleit.
That's the only real schedule I can get behind.
And make a new law: no old doctors.
Everyone okay with that? I said, is everyone okay with that? Yes, Mr.
President.
OTHERS: Yes, Mr.
President.
- Think fast! [LAUGHS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- He got me.
- You lose, you lose.
- [CHUCKLING.]
: He got me.
- Think fast! [YELLS.]
- Mr.
Chairman, Mitch.
Can? - What is it, Raff? President wants a military parade for his sister's birthday next week.
I am knee-deep in donkey shit trying to organize it.
- Right, uh, can I? - What? Can I what? - Can I get a minute with you? - [EXHALES.]
What is it, Raff? You've been out of sorts for weeks.
Um [CLICKS TONGUE.]
Aren't you a little worried? I'm always worried.
What's your problem? - [BELL RINGING.]
- OLIVER: Get out of the way! Mr.
President coming through! Get out of my way! - [LAUGHING.]
: Hey.
- Hey.
Choo-choo! - [WOMEN GASP.]
- Move it! Hey, order pizza for everyone.
Don't you think the president seems like a? - A kid.
- Right.
Like a spoiled kid.
Like a like the most spoiled kid in the history of the world, you know? He's commander-in-chief, this is the greatest country in the world.
President says "Jump," I say "How high?" I don't care that he's a kid.
Approval rating's through the roof, everybody loves their video games.
Strange time to be talking treason, Hanks.
Treason? - Treason.
- No, I-I'm not - talking treason.
- I'm, I'm not Sure sounds like it.
And I don't like it and I won't have it.
Understood? Understood.
Good.
[HELEN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY.]
[CHUCKLING.]
Helen.
- Hey.
- Helen.
Oliver's not the president, you are the real president.
Don't you think it's time you intervened? Intervene? [CHUCKLES.]
Why would I do that? Raff, everything you said would come true has.
He connects with people.
My child.
He touches people.
Intervening's the last thing I'm gonna do.
MAURA: I say if it's bothering you that much, you should just talk with him.
RAFF: Okay, it's just hard to know what to say to an 11-year-old who's also the president.
Well, you've done pretty good thus far.
[SIGHS.]
: Yeah.
It was easier before.
Listen, we're mercenaries, right? I mean, that's what we are.
Your big mistake was staying with him in the White House.
You should have followed me.
And I moved on and business is booming.
Didn't have to stick around and have regrets, see how the sausage is made.
It's just, no one seems to be willing to confront him, you know? Even his parents seem cowed.
Well, maybe they are cowed.
Or maybe everyone's okay with it.
I mean, sure, he's a little bit bratty, but so are a lot of kids, it's a phase.
Like your chamomile tea phase, it's gonna pass.
Raff, you of all people knew what you were getting into when you decided to run his campaign.
Try and enjoy this moment instead of worrying so much.
You're the conquering hero.
Right? One of the most famous campaign managers in history.
The man who got Oliver Foley elected president.
Thanks.
[RAFF PANTING.]
I tried to do the right thing for once.
- [LOUD BEEPING.]
- ORDERLY: Mr.
Hanks.
We're losing him.
Get the crash cart in here.
You distracted me, Raff.
Oh, sorry.
OLIVER: It's okay.
I never get a hole-in-one.
And it sucks.
Want to play? Could use the company.
My sister has homework and the Secretary of Homeland Security sucks at golf.
Um, sure, thank you.
I think Nixon put in the golf thing.
- But it's so boring, putting.
- Mm-hmm.
Who wants to just putt? I want windmills and pirate ships.
Those little pencils to keep track.
Right.
[SHARP EXHALE.]
- Can I speak candidly? - I don't know.
Can you? Um, I'm a little worried.
So am I, actually.
What do you mean? I mean this treason thing's pretty serious.
You like the lighting? I think it's cool.
I'm not being treasonous, Oliver.
I'm just worried about a few things.
There is a difference.
- Hit your ball, Raff.
- Oliver.
Putt.
Not bad.
My turn.
[GRUNTS.]
Thing is, Raff you were my first real supporter.
Hurts me that you're not fully backing me.
Fuck! I never get it in on the first try! Oliver, I do back you.
- I just think that the - No.
You don't get to think.
You just back me.
You back me unconditionally.
Whatever happened to surrounding yourself with the greatest minds so that you could get the most informed opinions? That was your idea.
Your line in that commercial about my dying dog.
My dog's dying, Raff.
He's dying.
I'm such a good actor.
I just pretended Homer was dying.
Just to get you back on my team.
No! I want a hole-in-one! There! Hole-in-one! I win! That's not the way it works.
It isn't? No.
I said it was a hole-in-one.
And I'm president.
Do you support me or are you treasonous? I'm not treasonous, Oliver.
Mr.
President.
"I'm not treasonous, Mr.
President.
" I'm not treasonous, Mr.
President.
Good.
So, it was a hole-in-one, right? No.
No, it wasn't.
It was not a hole-in-one, Oliver.
Gun! There's a gun! Shoot him.
REPORTER What do you think about Raff Hanks? Oh, I think he's the worst scum of the earth.
How dare he try and attack that sweet little boy? The president dodged a bullet.
Literally.
Raff Hanks got what he deserved.
- He got what he deserved.
- Raff Hanks got what he deserved.
Raff Hanks Raff Hanks Raff Hanks got got got what he deserved.
Glad to see you awake, Mr.
Hanks.
Was afraid we lost you there.
- What? - You need an operation on a ruptured spleen and a punctured lung.
The president has asked for his very own doctor to help you.
You're not the doctor? The law does not permit me to be a doctor.
The doctor will be with you shortly.
[MONITOR BEEPING.]
All right.
Let's get this done quick, mister.
No.
[RAFF PANTING.]
No.
I want to finish my video games.
No! No! [GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Society is a fragile ecosystem.
Razzle and dazzle people with the right lies and eventually they'll go blind to the madness right in front of their faces.
Raff Hanks made a living selling the American dream.
But, once sold, he created a true nightmare that he couldn't buy back.
Especially not here in The Twilight Zone.
ORDERLY [OVER INTERCOM.]
: He's waking up.
Can you hear me, Mr.
Hanks? What's going on? Try to relax.
Do you know your name? Raff Hanks.
Great.
Do you know who the president is? [CROWD CHEERING.]
CROWD [CHANTING.]
: Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! Four more years! MAURA: Well, you did it.
We did it.
CROWD: Four more years! Stevens did it.
All right.
But with our help.
Our numbers, our data.
We gave him this election.
Can you not jinx things? I mean, no one's even counted any votes yet.
Oh, God.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I almost forgot.
Guess what came in the mail today.
Hmm.
Subtle.
They never thought Stevens would get reelected.
Especially not with me running his campaign.
They were wrong.
Again, can you just not jinx things? Come on, you've seen the polls.
You see the crowds? We took the most unpopular president in American history, and we turned it around.
I want Justin Timberlake to play me in the HBO movie.
You really think they're going to turn this into a movie? Of course they are.
It's only the greatest comeback in American history.
Well, now you've really jinxed things, so Raff, Maura, the results are coming in.
The president wants to see you.
CROWD: Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! It all started out so well.
ORDERLY: Do you know why you're here, Raff who did this to you? Do you know where you are? Who are you? I'm here by order of the president of the United States.
[SIGHS.]
Then I'm fucked.
Hey.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
STEVENS: What the fuck, Raff?! Mr.
President? They're saying I just lost New York, lost New Jersey.
I'm from fuckin' New Jersey.
I'm Mr.
Fuckin' New Jersey! We're losing the whole goddamn country! - No, my data says - Oh, your data's horseshit! I listened to you.
I listened to you.
Your numbers and your polls and your fancy data and your high-tech baloney.
And guess what.
I lost.
I am a one-term joke.
I'm a diaper filled with baby shit, and it is all your fault! Fuck! Raff, listen, it's gonna be okay.
All right? You can come back from this.
I mean, you're the wunderkind, right? REPORTER [ON TV.]
: Voters are angry.
After two years in office, the president is facing increasing criticism for his handling of the economy, increasing crime, the environment, and foreign policy.
MAN: I mean, the world is a mess.
And these politicians, they're not helping anybody.
We should just throw out the whole system, start over again.
Well, let me ask my distinguished panel.
What should the president do about the situation in the Middle East? Thanks for asking, Sam.
"Well, you're one of the most admired political minds in the business.
" That I am, Sam.
That I am.
I just can't pay my rent.
Hey, buddy.
You really ran Stevens' campaign? I did.
I ran it right into the ground.
[LAUGHS.]
REPORTER: In lighter news Tommy, come on, hit me with another.
look no further than 11-year-old YouTube sensation Oliver Foley.
His latest video is racking up millions of hits because Oliver's running for president.
Oh, hey, hi.
I'm Oliver Henry Foley, and I'm announcing my candidacy for president of the USA.
Here's why.
I want people to be nice to each other.
I really do.
I know it sounds cheesy, but it's the truth.
And it's a good enough reason to run for president as any.
I also believe that everyone should go to school and play video games, because it's good for your hand-eye coordination.
I may be a kid, but I sure do get America.
It's the land of equality and freedom for everyone.
Except maybe my little sister.
You should run that kid's campaign.
- He tells it like it is.
- That's crazy.
Eight million views crazy.
Considering all the crap coming out of Washington, I'd vote for that kid in a heartbeat.
Me, too.
I like what he's saying.
He's a little cutie.
Meet Raff Hanks, a wunderkind.
Once the most successful campaign manager of his generation.
Now Raff finds himself in a valley of booze and regret.
One filled with bad choices and even worse polling.
He's about to embark on a misguided road to redemption.
And on his way back to the top, he'll have to take a dark detour through The Twilight Zone.
[THE TWILIGHT ZONETHEME PLAYING.]
NARRATOR: You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.
It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition.
And it lies between the pit of one's fears and the summit of one's knowledge.
You are now traveling through a dimension of imagination.
You've just crossed over into The Twilight Zone.
ORDERLY: Mr.
Hanks, you did a great service for our country.
Jesus.
Our country? I saw an angle, man.
I saw my shot, I took it.
[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
[GROANING.]
Mmm.
This really is delicious.
- Mmm.
- OLIVER: Tuesdays is spaghetti, and Wednesdays is hamburgers.
Cheeseburgers.
Cheeseburgers, if you're into that.
Can you pass the Parmesan cheese? - Oliver.
- Yeah? Do you really want to be president? Yep.
I'm sick of all the war stuff and the environment stuff and the fact that everybody lies all the time and that we only get two weeks off at Christmas break.
Wait.
If Oliver gets to be president, do I get to be vice president? Uh, maybe, honey.
Eat your salad.
I first started my YouTube channel because my friend Charlie had one, and I wanted one, too.
Then I started vlogging about Minecraft, which was sort of boring because Minecraftis for little kids, and I'm not little anymore.
Then I started vlogging about Fortnite, which got me a bunch of views.
But then I decided to run for president, and I got 12 million views.
And then you showed up.
And then I showed up.
What'd I just say? HELEN: Really, Raff, why are you here? I know this thing has gotten a lot of coverage, but he's a kid, it's a joke.
Not to me.
People are really responding to what Oliver is saying.
- He's 11.
- It's a technicality.
[LAUGHS.]
To being president.
Listen, your name will be on the ballot.
He'll just be the one in charge.
Oh.
This is getting better and better.
Listen, A-Andrew Johnson was a tailor.
Teddy Roosevelt was a rancher.
Jimmy Carter was a peanut farmer.
This country is very open to leaders without political baggage.
Raff, I googled you.
I did some research.
I know you've had a hard run.
You battled the booze Joseph, I'm off it, completely.
I am a new man.
I mean, I am drinking chamomile tea, for the love of Pete.
Well, still, we see what you're trying to do here.
You're an opportunist.
Of course I am.
I need this.
This is what I do.
But Oliver, your son, has tapped into something very, very real.
He connects with people.
Do you realize how rare that is in politics, to actually connect with people? I honestly believe Oliver can be president.
Come on, now And win or lose, when all this is said and done, he will have had the experience of a lifetime.
And he will have made enough money from endorsements and TV deals and book deals to pay for his college and Lily's college, the dog's college.
You'll have your face back on TV.
Exactly.
Everybody wins, nobody gets hurt.
This is the American dream.
We're making a new video.
Lily's gonna film it.
You want to watch? It's gonna be awesome.
[SIGHS.]
[ALL LAUGHING.]
[MONITOR BEEPING.]
[GROANING.]
- LILY: Go.
- Go? - Yes.
- Now? - Go now.
- Okay.
Here are the ten things I promise the American people if I'm elected president.
Oh.
Hi, Homer.
This is Homer.
Anyways, number one: jobs.
Jobs for everyone.
Number two: long weekends, longer vacations.
Number three: less Star Warsmovies.
Number four: better air to breathe, which means more bikes and less cars.
[OVER MEGAPHONE.]
: Number five: less war.
Number six: dogs for dog people and cats for cat people.
Number seven: more pancake houses throughout the land, please.
Number eight: free video games for every American! Number nine: every month has to have its own holiday.
Number ten: dessert is before dinner! [CHEERING, APPLAUSE.]
Got hot dogs waiting on the bus.
Ketchup and mustard.
The little juice boxes like you like.
And baby carrots? Of course.
With ranch dressing.
I'm no monster.
We got CNN and Fox this afternoon, Rachel Maddow tonight.
She's nice.
Super nice.
And you promised me the interview with the Times, remember? Only if we can stop at the water park on the way back to the airport.
You got it.
Hey, what about the song? And the music video? I get a lot of views with my videos.
Recording studio booked, dancers are rehearsing.
It's been two months now.
You can do better, Raff.
You're right.
I can do better.
MAURA: Wow.
The wunderkind and the wunderkind.
Maura McGowan.
What are you doing here on the mean streets of rural Iowa? I saw your mug on TV, figured I'd come say hi.
You want to get the band back together again, don't you? I wrote you off after Stevens.
I was wrong.
"I was wrong.
" My three favorite words in the English language.
Okay, don't push it.
You know you missed me, Maura.
A little bit.
Good.
Come on.
MAURA: So what are we going to do, though, when it all, you know, blows up in our faces? [RAFF LAUGHS.]
ORDERLY: Look, Mr.
Hanks, we're going to have to operate.
Your condition is not stable.
I'm not sure that I ever was.
A stable person would've seen what was happening.
Hey, hey, hey Let's hit it We the people all across the nation It's about time for a celebration Bright future is the new sensation Time to break free like summer vacation Put your hands up if you feel that, whoa - If you had enough - Hey.
- Hey.
- Those national ads done yet? - We have that TV space on hold.
- Almost.
Oliver hasn't signed off yet completely, but he will.
- He will.
- I hope so.
You know, his last set of notes were four pages long, all handwritten and mostly involved inserting more shots of his dog.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
He's smart.
The kid's smart.
Hey! - Young enough to hope, oh, oh, oh - I know.
So good.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeehaw Young enough to hope, oh, oh Oh, old enough to vote We can do this.
DIRECTOR: That's a cut! - [APPLAUSE.]
- [BELL RINGING.]
Man, that kid is cute, though.
- Fuckin' A he is.
- HELEN: I'm sorry, we have that doctor's appointment to get to now.
No way, Mom! Oliver, do not argue with your mother.
OLIVER: I'm not going! I'm not.
HELEN: You're going to the doctor.
End of discussion.
- No! - Yes! - Bullshit! - BOTH: Oliver! OLIVER: I hate the doctor.
It's always some old man with bad breath stabbing me with needles.
HELEN: The doctor is just there to make sure that you are good and healthy.
OLIVER: I am healthy! I just danced for, like, five hours! HELEN: You're going to the doctor.
End of discussion, young man.
- I hate you! - Oliver! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you.
I hate you.
I saw what I wanted to.
OLIVER: Let's hit it Self-evident Oliver for president He's the one we need to be the White House resident Well, Oliver's not one of these greasy-palmed hucksters.
[CHUCKLES.]
: We got plenty enough of those.
There's something inspirational about starting off with someone fresh.
You know, someone that believes in the things that I believe in.
Young enough to hope, oh, oh, oh, old enough to vote He wants to make this country stronger.
I mean, he wants to bring us back to basics, back to what made this, this nation great.
My grandkids love him.
[BEATBOXING.]
Hey, hey, hey MAN [OVER TV.]
: He's making promises just like a politician would, but Oliver Foley is undeniably different.
There's a momentum here of a kind I haven't seen before.
It doesn't matter how old he is to me.
H-He could be eight years old, he could be eight months old for all I care.
- He's got my vote.
- WOMAN: What's amazing is that this kid is in the race at all, let alone now just six points down in the latest national polls.
Oliver Foley has captured the imagination of the American public.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeehaw Young enough to hope, oh, oh, oh Old enough to vote We can do this.
MAURA: Oliver, your competitors have called you "uninformed, ill-informed, or not informed at all" when it comes to global politics.
Can you respond to their complaints? What do you feel we should be doing with our troops still in Iraq? I-I'm glad you asked me about Iraq.
It's-it's an it's an intriguing question, and it is well worth answering, just not in 60-second sound-bites.
LARRY: Wait.
Hold on.
I don't even know what that fucking means.
- ALL: Language.
- Sorry, but this is ridiculous.
He hasn't memorized anything I've asked him to, and the first primary debate is one week away.
I don't know why you hired me.
He can't be coached.
- It's a goddamn shit-show.
- Enough! You're right, I don't know why I hired you, it wasa mistake.
Frankly, we don't need another canned answer that people are gonna know is baloney.
LARRY: He's gonna be embarrassed.
It's a joke and he's a sideshow.
OLIVER: A sideshow who's only six points down in Iowa and whose latest music video has 56 million views.
He's got you there, Larry.
Kid knows his YouTube.
[SIGHS.]
Larry you're fired.
Is he right, Raff? Am I gonna be embarrassed? We have had decades of politicians who claim to know everything, and where has that taken this country, Oliver? It's taken us straight into the crapper.
You're gonna be fine.
You just do your thing, okay? Thanks, Raff.
Oh.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
I mean, I guess I don't really understand taxes, if that's really your qu-question.
I mean, taxes are good, except when they're bad.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING.]
But they're mostly good, right? - U-Um uh - MAN: Wow.
Uh, except in Monopoly.
Then they're bad.
- And [WHIMPERS.]
- PETE: Hey, nice work there, guys.
Real car accident.
- You know what, Pete? - Just leave it.
We were worried there for a little while, but this? - This is beautiful.
- WOMAN: I think there's a dogcatcher race in Florenceville Junction, Raff.
Maybe you could get on that campaign.
That's really funny.
That's really funny.
- Okay Just let it go.
- Congratulations.
We trusted you.
Listen, your boy's gonna get his sea legs soon, I know it.
I can feel it.
He's gonna be fine.
His sea legs? This is a disaster.
- No.
Joseph - They're destroying him, Raff.
- [CRYING.]
- They're destroying my boy.
- No, he's gonna be f - Lily, Lily, sweetheart He's gonna be you guys.
Come on.
You guys [OLIVER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[LAUGHTER.]
OLIVER: Mom? - Mom? Mom? - [LAUGHTER.]
Mom.
[BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
[RAFF GASPING.]
Try to relax.
If you're gonna do it, just do it.
The doctor was held up.
He's on a different level.
He's on his way.
- RAFF [SCREAMS.]
: God! - Mr.
Hanks! Put me under! Save my life or let me die, man! [PANTING.]
NEWSCASTER: Two days before Iowa votes in the first caucus or primary of the season, the race is truly shaping up after the embarrassing flameout of 11-year-old Oliver Foley in a disastrous campaign led by Raff Hanks, one that will be analyzed and joked about for decades to Thanks for taking pity on me, Tommy.
I don't have pity on you, Raff.
I just don't want you crying in the bar again.
Scares the customers.
Right.
Well, so much for that chamomile tea phase, huh? Yeah, I replaced it with the "decimate your liver" phase.
It's much more enjoyable.
[CHUCKLES.]
Tommy, would you get this fine lady a bourbon on the rocks, please? Make it a double, please.
Oh, that's my girl.
How you holding up? Well, better than you are, apparently.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thanks.
Oh, wow.
[CHUCKLES.]
So what are you doing here? I got things to do.
I got nuts to eat.
I got beer to cry into.
No, I really am here, actually, to see how you're doing.
And from the looks of things, it's not a pretty picture.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know what the worst part is? Hmm? I started this whole thing to get out of the mess I was in, but somewhere along the line, I started liking what the kid was saying.
Uh-oh.
- Yeah.
- Not the whole "I actually believe my candidate" story.
- I do believe in him.
- [CHUCKLES.]
All right, he didn't know shit about the tax code.
But he was human.
He was vulnerable, and that's more than I can say about everybody else up there.
You know, I never should have let him go on the debate stage.
He should've kept making his videos.
We could've done one about world peace.
He could've been holding a-a homemade globe, and everyone would have eaten it up, and no one - would give a shit about the debate.
- You know what? It's too late now.
Right? Yeah.
Yeah, it's too late.
You know, I actually stopped by their place.
The Foleys.
You did? How they doing? Um to be expected.
Maybe a little bit worse.
Well, you know their dog, Homer? Yeah? He's got some kind of cancer.
He's gonna die.
No.
No.
Yeah.
Oh, God, I fucked everything up.
I even killed their dog.
Oliver says hi, though.
He did? He doesn't blame you.
He wanted me to tell you that.
Oh, he's a good kid.
He also wanted me to ask you if you thought it was okay for him to post a vlog about his dying dog.
Why not, I guess.
I mean, that's what I said.
It's really sad, you know? I mean, it's sweet how much he cares about that poor animal.
Oh, Jesus.
It's perfect.
A vlog about a dying dog.
Oh, my God, provided it's done correctly, it's perfect.
- Raff - Are we on the ballot still? Please tell me we are still on the ballot.
It was too late to get us taken off, but Raff, what are you doing? I am getting Oliver Foley elected president of the United States of America.
We're winning this goddamn election! That's not good.
[PANTING.]
OLIVER: This is Homer.
My dog.
He's a Labradoodle.
I've known him my whole life.
He's the best dog in the whole wide world.
He's also dying.
He has cancer.
A dog type of cancer that's sort of incurable.
Come on.
Come over.
This is my sister Lily.
And these are my parents.
It's pretty clear I don't know nearly enough to be president alone.
But if you elect me, I'll surround myself with the nicest and smartest people.
I'll work so hard to make you proud and make sure that you can hug your sick pets longer and that you'll get to spend as many healthy days as possible with the ones you love.
Because family family's everything.
[DOG WHIMPERS.]
Hey Let's hit it - [LOUD CHEERING.]
- We the people all across the nation It's about time for a celebration Oliver Foley, surprising every pollster in Iowa, has won the first caucus.
In a stunning come- from-behind upset, 11-year-old Oliver Foley has won the Iowa caucus.
[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN.]
I don't know why people are so surprised.
I mean, Oliver really connects with people.
He was the 13th story on the news, and together we made him headline material.
I mean, a-after tonight, I-I think he's poised to win the whole thing.
I really do.
Really? All the national polls put him very far behind.
Listen, polls are meaningless when the American people find someone who honestly and truly speaks to their core values.
Oh, oh, oh, old enough to vote We can do this.
[CHUCKLES.]
["HAIL TO THE CHIEF" PLAYING.]
[CHEERING.]
[CHEERING CONTINUES.]
I'm the President! Yeah! This is so cool.
[GRUNTS.]
This is the president.
Bomb Russia! I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Don't worry.
Can't believe I get to live here now.
Well, you're in charge now, Oliver uh, Mr.
President.
You're the leader of the free world.
Well as leader of the free world, we need to fulfill my campaign promises.
- ASAP.
- Absolutely.
First off, free video games for every American.
Nintendo, PlayStation, whatever they want.
Um [CHUCKLES.]
Oliver Honey, I don't think that we can quite just do that.
What are you talking about, Mom? Well, I mean that there are laws.
Congress.
[WHISPERING.]
: We talked about this, remember, honey? But I promised everyone video games, and you, Mr.
Chief of Staff, are gonna make sure that happens.
Well, I'm not quite sure that Congress is gonna go for that, Mr.
President, especially given the way the national debt looks right now.
And plus, companies aren't just going to willingly give away their games.
Guess they'll just have to.
- Yes, but - But nothing.
They have to.
I made a promise.
So, they give away 270 million games to every American, or we put a surcharge tax of a million dollars a Game Boy and put them out of business in a day.
The people voted.
We have to give 'em what we promised.
- Hey, Oliver.
- Mr.
President.
Sorry, Raff, but it sounds really cool.
You're right.
Mr.
President, maybe we should, uh, hold off on the video game thing until you get settled in I'm settled in, Raff, and I know what I want.
And you guys are gonna get that done for me or I'll get otherpeople to get it done for me.
There won't be a shortage of people who want to work for the new president of the United States.
Now where's the White House kitchen? I want a triple-scoop chocolate chip mint, vanilla and coffee ice cream sundae with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and sprinkles! [DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[CHIRPING.]
OLIVER: I want to make a new vlog of me singing and all these dancers around me dressed like soldiers.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not sure if vlogging is the best way to communicate.
Of course it is.
I want to sing about world peace.
The lyrics should be something like, "Either you're with peace, or you're not," and if they're not, we start to kill off all the dancers.
- SENIOR AIDE: Um - I mean, not for real, obviously.
But in the video, all bloody and stuff.
It'll be cool.
[BARKING.]
Dog selection today, Mr.
President.
Finally! Hi.
Hello! Oh, yes, you are so sweet.
Hey, come here, come here.
Okay, no.
No.
No.
Maybe.
No.
Maybe.
No.
[GASPS.]
This one! This guy right here! No, no, no, this one.
He's perfect.
My new Homer.
It's a female dog, sir.
What? Ew! What were you thinking? - I thought, um - Thought what? I want a new Homer! Does Homer sound like a girl's name to you? Well, there's other dogs here, sir.
Get rid of 'em.
I don't want 'em.
Um, sir? These dogs were selected from the pound.
I don't really care.
I don't want them.
SENIOR AIDE: Okay.
It is, however, time for your physical.
Physical? No way.
Well, I'm sorry, Mr.
President, but Congress requires that the president get a yearly physical.
Well, then fire Congress.
SENIOR AIDE: We can't quite do that.
Well, I'm not gonna see any doctor.
Especially an old man doctor.
Okay, but it's scheduled for today, so Well, then un-schedule it.
And never rescheduleit.
That's the only real schedule I can get behind.
And make a new law: no old doctors.
Everyone okay with that? I said, is everyone okay with that? Yes, Mr.
President.
OTHERS: Yes, Mr.
President.
- Think fast! [LAUGHS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- He got me.
- You lose, you lose.
- [CHUCKLING.]
: He got me.
- Think fast! [YELLS.]
- Mr.
Chairman, Mitch.
Can? - What is it, Raff? President wants a military parade for his sister's birthday next week.
I am knee-deep in donkey shit trying to organize it.
- Right, uh, can I? - What? Can I what? - Can I get a minute with you? - [EXHALES.]
What is it, Raff? You've been out of sorts for weeks.
Um [CLICKS TONGUE.]
Aren't you a little worried? I'm always worried.
What's your problem? - [BELL RINGING.]
- OLIVER: Get out of the way! Mr.
President coming through! Get out of my way! - [LAUGHING.]
: Hey.
- Hey.
Choo-choo! - [WOMEN GASP.]
- Move it! Hey, order pizza for everyone.
Don't you think the president seems like a? - A kid.
- Right.
Like a spoiled kid.
Like a like the most spoiled kid in the history of the world, you know? He's commander-in-chief, this is the greatest country in the world.
President says "Jump," I say "How high?" I don't care that he's a kid.
Approval rating's through the roof, everybody loves their video games.
Strange time to be talking treason, Hanks.
Treason? - Treason.
- No, I-I'm not - talking treason.
- I'm, I'm not Sure sounds like it.
And I don't like it and I won't have it.
Understood? Understood.
Good.
[HELEN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY.]
[CHUCKLING.]
Helen.
- Hey.
- Helen.
Oliver's not the president, you are the real president.
Don't you think it's time you intervened? Intervene? [CHUCKLES.]
Why would I do that? Raff, everything you said would come true has.
He connects with people.
My child.
He touches people.
Intervening's the last thing I'm gonna do.
MAURA: I say if it's bothering you that much, you should just talk with him.
RAFF: Okay, it's just hard to know what to say to an 11-year-old who's also the president.
Well, you've done pretty good thus far.
[SIGHS.]
: Yeah.
It was easier before.
Listen, we're mercenaries, right? I mean, that's what we are.
Your big mistake was staying with him in the White House.
You should have followed me.
And I moved on and business is booming.
Didn't have to stick around and have regrets, see how the sausage is made.
It's just, no one seems to be willing to confront him, you know? Even his parents seem cowed.
Well, maybe they are cowed.
Or maybe everyone's okay with it.
I mean, sure, he's a little bit bratty, but so are a lot of kids, it's a phase.
Like your chamomile tea phase, it's gonna pass.
Raff, you of all people knew what you were getting into when you decided to run his campaign.
Try and enjoy this moment instead of worrying so much.
You're the conquering hero.
Right? One of the most famous campaign managers in history.
The man who got Oliver Foley elected president.
Thanks.
[RAFF PANTING.]
I tried to do the right thing for once.
- [LOUD BEEPING.]
- ORDERLY: Mr.
Hanks.
We're losing him.
Get the crash cart in here.
You distracted me, Raff.
Oh, sorry.
OLIVER: It's okay.
I never get a hole-in-one.
And it sucks.
Want to play? Could use the company.
My sister has homework and the Secretary of Homeland Security sucks at golf.
Um, sure, thank you.
I think Nixon put in the golf thing.
- But it's so boring, putting.
- Mm-hmm.
Who wants to just putt? I want windmills and pirate ships.
Those little pencils to keep track.
Right.
[SHARP EXHALE.]
- Can I speak candidly? - I don't know.
Can you? Um, I'm a little worried.
So am I, actually.
What do you mean? I mean this treason thing's pretty serious.
You like the lighting? I think it's cool.
I'm not being treasonous, Oliver.
I'm just worried about a few things.
There is a difference.
- Hit your ball, Raff.
- Oliver.
Putt.
Not bad.
My turn.
[GRUNTS.]
Thing is, Raff you were my first real supporter.
Hurts me that you're not fully backing me.
Fuck! I never get it in on the first try! Oliver, I do back you.
- I just think that the - No.
You don't get to think.
You just back me.
You back me unconditionally.
Whatever happened to surrounding yourself with the greatest minds so that you could get the most informed opinions? That was your idea.
Your line in that commercial about my dying dog.
My dog's dying, Raff.
He's dying.
I'm such a good actor.
I just pretended Homer was dying.
Just to get you back on my team.
No! I want a hole-in-one! There! Hole-in-one! I win! That's not the way it works.
It isn't? No.
I said it was a hole-in-one.
And I'm president.
Do you support me or are you treasonous? I'm not treasonous, Oliver.
Mr.
President.
"I'm not treasonous, Mr.
President.
" I'm not treasonous, Mr.
President.
Good.
So, it was a hole-in-one, right? No.
No, it wasn't.
It was not a hole-in-one, Oliver.
Gun! There's a gun! Shoot him.
REPORTER What do you think about Raff Hanks? Oh, I think he's the worst scum of the earth.
How dare he try and attack that sweet little boy? The president dodged a bullet.
Literally.
Raff Hanks got what he deserved.
- He got what he deserved.
- Raff Hanks got what he deserved.
Raff Hanks Raff Hanks Raff Hanks got got got what he deserved.
Glad to see you awake, Mr.
Hanks.
Was afraid we lost you there.
- What? - You need an operation on a ruptured spleen and a punctured lung.
The president has asked for his very own doctor to help you.
You're not the doctor? The law does not permit me to be a doctor.
The doctor will be with you shortly.
[MONITOR BEEPING.]
All right.
Let's get this done quick, mister.
No.
[RAFF PANTING.]
No.
I want to finish my video games.
No! No! [GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Society is a fragile ecosystem.
Razzle and dazzle people with the right lies and eventually they'll go blind to the madness right in front of their faces.
Raff Hanks made a living selling the American dream.
But, once sold, he created a true nightmare that he couldn't buy back.
Especially not here in The Twilight Zone.