The Wrong Girl (2016) s01e05 Episode Script

1 This Saturday, my sister's getting married in the Barossa Valley.
- And I want you to call the show.
- Really? They might not like it, upstairs.
I'm happy to own it.
I don't generally talk about my private life.
But I am a proud lesbian woman.
- (NIKKII CRIES OUT) - I am in a loving long-term relationship.
Oh, my God! - Hi, I - Did you make that call back there? - Yes.
- Great save.
Keep it up.
Are you not that into this? What? 'Cause I'm really into you.
- I want to be honest.
- You're dating Simone.
I'm not anymore, actually.
If you had feelings for me, why would you go out with my best friend? I can't kiss you back.
If you really love me, you'll get in the bath with me.
I love you, Lil.
(SOBS) I mean, I feel quite relieved that I've made a decision finally.
How does this sound? Hi, my name is Lily Woodward and I am the new supervising producer of 'The Breakfast Bar'.
ALL: Surprise! (GUESTS CLAP AND CHEER) Happy birthday! PETE: So, the big 3-0.
LILY: No, not gonna celebrate it.
You can't not do anything.
It's a monumental life event.
I do not want all the people from all the different facets of my life in one room together.
Way too messy.
Nightmare.
So, if person A and person C have sex, but then person B, who is also best friends with person A, wants to have sex with person C after person A and C have already broken up - Hmm.
- what is the quarantine period? I don't know.
Dudes don't really have quarantine periods.
We just have sex with whoever wants to have sex with us.
- Really? - Kind of.
Is person B you? - Yes.
- Person A Simone? - Yes.
- Person C's Jack the chef? - How did you know that? - I just did.
Yeah, I would say that you cannot consider the chef romantically for months, if not years.
Actually, definitely years.
That is a really long quarantine period.
- It's just how it is.
- Wow.
Is Mitchell still hanging around? Gone way beyond hanging around.
I'm in a permanent three-way, except not the fun sort.
And he's, like, operating as my life coach now.
Have you ever thought about setting yourself KPls? You know, so you can keep track of how you're performing? Uh, nope! Yeah, I think it'd be a good idea.
(GASPS) - Do you know who you are? - Who? You are the Lady Diana of this relationship.
Yeah, and look what happened to her.
It'll be a pretty short meeting because she doesn't want a party and she definitely doesn't want a surprise party.
- That's what she says.
- Because that's what she means.
- You're so literal.
- No, I'm with Sim.
Every year Lil says she doesn't want to do anything and then she's devastated when we don't actually do anything.
- OK.
- I like the new look.
Oh, thanks.
Mum thought a doctor with a beard looked a little untrustworthy.
Yeah, she's probably right.
What's Jack doing here? Didn't you guys break up? Yeah, but now we're friends.
Friends who plan surprise parties together? I needed somebody to invite Lily's workmates.
- SIMONE: Hey.
- Hello.
- Hi, mate.
How's things? - Hey, mate.
Good.
- Hi.
Thanks for coming.
- Thanks for inviting me.
(SIMONE SIGHS) So, how what How's this gonna work? Well, Vincent, you will invite the family.
Pete, uni mates.
And, Jack, you can invite friends from work.
And then I'll fill in the blanks.
Lily explicitly said she didn't want people from all facets of her life in one room.
Who does? But that's what a party is.
Now I did the flowers at this 80th last week and I think the venue had a perfect Lily vibe.
So, Jack, um, could you do, maybe, food? - No worries.
- Great.
I also need some help styling the venue.
Yeah, I can help with that.
Yeah.
So, who's gonna get Lily there? Well, I'm on a dishonesty detox at the moment, so it can't be me.
I think it should be you, Jack.
She's not gonna suspect the surprise party coming from you.
Happy to help.
PETE: Jack.
Is it weird throwing a party for your ex-girlfriend's flatmate? (CHUCKLES) Are you having a go at me, mate? Oh, not at all.
Just, it must be weird, that's all.
I'm organising a party for a colleague who's become a friend.
OK.
- What are we cooking this week? - An Ottolenghi dish.
Mmm.
I love Ottolenghi.
- Do you? - Yeah, it's yummy.
- Do you buy yours fresh? - Yes.
Yes, I do.
Do you wanna head out on the weekend? I hear it's your birthday.
I I can't.
- (CLEARS THROAT) - Oh.
OK.
It's because of the quarantine period.
I don't know what that means.
It means you're Simone's ex and I I can't be with you for a really long time.
Then why did you kiss me? I did the wrong thing.
How long is this quarantine period? I don't know, but But I do know that the ramifications are very serious if I break it.
It's kind of a friendship by-law.
I wouldn't want to break a by-law, but if the by-law changes, you let me know.
I will.
JACK: I asked her out but she said no.
Something about a quarantine period.
What? That's madness! Anyway, you're gonna have to get her to the party.
Will do.
What time d'ya want her there? Five? That gives us time.
I'll put some money behind the bar.
What about music? Oh, whatever the shittiest, most disposable pop music there is, that's what Lily listens to.
Whatever 13-year-old white girls listen to.
Well, could you put the music playlist together? Oh, I could, but she'd hate it.
Could you do something she'd like? Yeah, that'd be incredibly painful, but, yes, I'll sort it out.
What's the deal with you and Lily? Mates.
- That's all? - That's all.
Alright, I'll, uh I'll see you at the party.
(LIFT BELL RINGS) - Ah, Lily! I'm glad I caught you.
- Oh, hi.
Good to see you, Craig.
I never thought I'd see the day that Erica was more popular than Eric.
And that's thanks to you.
Her coming out on television made quite the impact.
Mmm, mmm.
(MUZAK PLAYS) Here at the network we're interested in investing in people.
You have any idea who I'm talking about? No (CHUCKLES) Ah.
It's you.
You're someone we'd wanna invest in.
I think you'd make a fantastic supervising producer - on 'The Breakfast Bar'.
- (CHUCKLES) - Wow! Thank you.
Wow.
- Yeah.
Are you interested? (UNCERTAINLY) Yes, I am.
- (LIFT BELL DINGS) - Wonderful.
Marvellous.
Oh, needless to say, let's just keep it among ourselves, eh? Of course.
Sure.
SONG: First sign of strife I'd run from my life No time to lace my shoes Been runnin' back on a one-way track 'cause BERNARD: Minimal.
Minimal look.
- You've heard of minimalism? - Yeah.
- Bernard.
- (CHUCKLES) - How are you, mate? - Oh, really well.
(CHUCKLES) You good? This is Anouk.
I work with her.
- Good to meet you.
- Good to meet you.
This is Pete.
So - I'll go put these photos online.
- Yep, definitely.
I'll see you later.
- So, come with me.
- Ah, thanks.
- Much work on? - Ah, not as much as I'd like.
Um Look, I'm gonna cut straight to the point.
- Please, yeah.
- I know you and I haven't really seen - eye to eye over the years.
- Oh We've never really liked each other.
Sorry sorry you see it that way.
We've always had a bit of back and forth, a bit of banter that's often bordered on open hostility.
Oh, I've always enjoyed our sparring.
I always thought it was pretty funny but - But that's cool.
- Yeah, anyway, I Yeah, how can I help? Like, what's the dealio? You said that you might have some articles that you didn't have time to write.
I don't want to write.
I don't want to write.
Pete, music journalism is over.
It's done, alright, social networking, blogs, the whole freakin' internet has just taken music journalism and just smashed it into the ground.
You know, which means that people like you can't get work.
Yeah.
But if you come see people like me, we can change that, and that, my friend, is where apps come in.
And that's where the people that I work for make their money.
You ever created an app, Pete? - Uh, no.
No, I haven't.
- Jump in.
Yeah, the people I work for, they insist on keeping this music journalism just limping along.
You know, it's the least important part of their business.
- They don't spend any money on it.
- Right.
But it still needs to be written, doesn't it? - Even if literally nobody reads it.
- Uh (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) You interested in writing something that nobody reads? Um I'm interested in writing about music.
Yeah.
Good.
Um, well, there's a job that pays peanuts that's yours if you want it, because I like you.
- Thank you.
- You're a good kid.
PETE: I arrived home, clearly without my balls, but still hoping to have a restful night at home.
Hey, guess what.
I got a job! That's great! Well done, mate.
Oh, thanks.
Is, um is Meredith here? Just gone to the shops.
Good work.
- He's never going away.
- I like Mitchell.
Any woman would be into him.
Thank you, Lily, that's really helpful.
OK.
Do you want my thoughts on this? You're gonna give them to me.
I know you love giving advice.
Of course it's OK to break up over the phone.
She'll probably appreciate not having to see you in person.
- But not if she's crazy.
- OK, Mitchell, he's either the nanny from the 'The Hand That Rocks the Cradle' and will ultimately kill and replace you, or he's just a really nice guy.
Yeah, see, I'm not sure which of those is worse.
Anyway, how about you? You gonna take the new job? Mmm, I want to, but no-one's mentioned what's happening to Sasha.
I assume she's going onto another show, 'cause that's what usually happens.
- Is that what they said? - No-one's mentioned her.
One Turkish, one Egyptian Craig.
- Lily! - Hello.
Could I have an off-the-record conversation with you? Of course, yeah.
If I accept the job, where does that leave Sasha? Well, it leaves her free to follow her dreams.
To develop shows with you, or? Well, I mean that's certainly a possibility.
- A likely one? - No.
- Have you made your decision? - No.
Sasha's been a great mentor to me and I feel really uncomfortable about taking her job.
Hmm.
Well, it's not her job.
And you not taking it doesn't mean that Sasha will keep it.
Change is good, Lily.
It's good, OK? I mean, it's important.
It's good for everyone.
It keeps things fresh.
I've been here for 20 years, and I envy people who can just move on to other shows and, you know, other networks.
It's a shame you're not leaving then.
Sorry, that was a joke.
A very bad one.
Um, I will let you know by the end of the week.
- Sasha wants to see you.
- Why? - I don't know.
- (SIGHS) Have a seat.
You need to apologise to me.
OK.
You need to say a big fat sorry to me for keeping these ideas to yourself.
I've just seen your last segment pitches and they're perfect.
They're topical, they're entertaining and surprising.
Thank you.
(SIGHS) Where do you want to go in this business? I-I don't know.
It's your life, it's your career.
You've got to steer the ship, you gotta grab opportunities that come your way.
Decide where you want to go and then work at how you're gonna get there.
Thank you.
Uh, can I, uh Can I speak to you about something? Yeah.
I think I'm being replaced.
I've heard some rumours.
The thing is, who would they replace me with? (SIGHS) Craig wants me to take the supervising producer's job.
Is Sasha moving on? Sasha is being moved on.
I don't know what to do.
She's been such a great mentor to me, but I'm not sure that not taking the job is gonna save her.
- Don't shaft her.
- That's not what I am doing.
I've been offered a job and I'm trying to decide whether or not to take it.
I know you think right now is your only chance, but I am telling you, you're gonna get other opportunities you can take without hurting anyone.
OK, you know what, I've changed my mind.
I don't want to talk to you about this.
- Just - Shut up.
I'm not hungry.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I've been offered a promotion.
What is it? Supervising producer of 'The Breakfast Bar'.
That's great! Congratulations! You want it, don't you? I really want it.
I mean, I'm terrified, but I have all these ideas for great new segments.
And yeah, I think I'm ready.
Well, grab onto it with both hands.
You deserve it.
- Thank you.
- (PHONE CHIMES) Hmm, that's Vincent.
We're gonna hang out.
I wonder when the last time was that Vincent had sex.
Do not have sex with my brother.
Does that mean he can't have sex? Does it, you know, work? How would I know? I haven't asked him.
Oh, you sicko.
Maybe he doesn't know.
He is off limits to you.
I mean it.
You're very controlling of your brother's penis.
Better me than you.
That's weird.
'Bye.
VINCENT: I gotta say I never thought I'd be making my sister's name in flowers.
Which is odd, because you're very good at it.
Ah, it's the surgeon hands.
You know, today is my 2-year anniversary of my accident.
For Lily's 28th, I was in intensive care.
I know.
I visited you.
Did you? Yeah.
You know, I miss it, kite surfing.
I do.
Even though it did this to me.
It's stupid, but The day it happened it was pretty windy.
It was about 40 knots and we were stoked.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) When you go out on your board, you're completely focused.
You're only thinking about your next trick or how fast you can go.
You feel absolutely free.
I felt great.
And then the wind took me up and I went so high, I was flying.
I must have known it wasn't gonna end well.
But for those few seconds, I felt bliss.
(VOICE BREAKS) I used to be a doctor and a kite surfer.
And now I'm nothing.
I'm neither.
You are still a doctor and you will get a job.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) (BERNARD SCATS) (CONTINUES SCATTING) - Uh-oh.
(CHUCKLES) - Hey! - How you going, mate? - Yeah, good, good.
Just updating the weekend's gigs on the app.
Yeah, you're cool doing that? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yep, got to be done.
Got to be done.
- Yeah.
Cool, coolio.
Oh, I was thinking, we should go for a drink this weekend to celebrate.
Uh, celebrate what? Um, us, working together finally.
(LAUGHS) - Oh Oh - Yes! You know what, I've got Lily's birthday drinks.
That's fine, that'll do.
That'll work perfectly.
That's good.
No, I actually I didn't mean No, no, I don't mind combining with Lily's birthday.
That's good.
I haven't seen her in ages.
- Yeah, it's just that - Text me the address.
Thanks, mate.
See you soon.
(SIGHS) - Hey.
- MEREDITH: Hey.
Hi.
Mitchell was just about to shout us some takeaway.
What would you like? - The chilli beef is always good.
- Or the pad thai.
- Or the green papaya salad.
- Or the choo chee fish.
You know what, Mitchell, this whole situation is just getting a bit much.
What are you talking about, Pete? No, Meredith, let him let him speak.
Uh, in what way? In the way that you're always here, or on the phone.
I'm happy for you and Meredith and I want to show my support.
Yeah.
You're just showing it a little bit too much.
- Pete - No, no.
No, Meredith.
OK, for the record, I was elated when I heard Meredith was pregnant because it was something I could never give her.
And even though as a man I felt like a failure, and still do, but I'm glad that she's got what we both wanted so badly.
But if I'm doing anything to jeopardise your relationship with her, then please forgive me.
And know that from this moment, I'll step right away.
- No, you don't have to - No, I do.
I've already failed her once.
I don't want to fail her again.
(SIGHS) So I asked him to be the godfather.
- What?! - Yep, that's what I did.
- What did he say? - Oh, he didn't say anything.
He was hugging me so hard that words were unnecessary.
- Wow.
- (PHONE CHIMES) Oh, birthday texts.
Turns out I'm more popular than I thought I was.
Can I wish you happy birthday yet? No.
It's not technically my birthday for another five minutes.
No, I'm calling it, Woodward.
Happy birthday.
Thanks.
Can we just go back to my place? I don't want to go to putt-putt.
I've already rigged the second hole on the jungle trail.
But we could go home, put on 'Embarrassing Bodies' and skull a beer every time someone shows their genitals.
Got a keg in your house? You're gonna need a lot of beer.
Come on.
I'll even pretend to be excited when you get your hole-in-one, eh? Craig Petersen said not to say anything to Sasha about the job offer, but I have to talk to her.
They should've let her go before offering it to you.
- I know.
- Are you gonna take it? Yeah.
Yep, I am.
- But I am gonna talk to her first.
- Huh.
- I owe that to her.
- Well, congratulations.
Sounds like from now on the drinks are on you.
- The drinks are always on me.
- Really? You offering? We should go in here.
- No.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
- I mean I feel quite relieved that I've made a decision finally, you know.
How does this sound? Hi, my name is Lily Woodward, and I am the new supervising producer of 'The Breakfast Bar'.
ALL: Surprise! (ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD) Happy birthday! Sasha! Craig offered me the job and I've decided to accept it.
I was gonna talk to you about it this week.
I have mentored you and championed you since the day you began working at 'The Breakfast Bar'.
- I know.
- No! No, you don't know.
You don't know at all.
Your first stories? Rubbish.
Rubbish! And I fixed those stories.
I sat down with the editor after you left and I recut them.
You told me they were cut for time.
Yeah, because I didn't want to destroy your confidence.
I wanted to build you up, so that one day you would be the producer I thought you could be.
But a skilled producer has ethics and integrity.
Now I can see you've got neither.
I don't know what to say.
I - If you take my job, it's - (DOOR OPENS) There's a party with your name on it happening inside.
So are you involved in this too? - Are you all in it together? - I'm not involved in anything, Sasha.
- Why don't I call you a taxi? - Why don't you piss off? I can't breathe.
I feel sick.
I don't like women like that.
- Just get me home.
I'm shaking.
- No, no, listen to me.
That was very unfortunate, but she's gone now, alright? Now, all these people are here because they love you.
I love you.
You need to pull yourself together and go back out there for your party.
- Alright? - I thought I was going to putt-putt.
You think I wasn't gonna be all over that? Alright, now, would a glass of wine help? - BOTH: Yes.
- OK.
Just a bottle.
(BREATHES DEEPLY) (ROCK MUSIC INTRO PLAYS) I got to look You keep your house all nice and Lily, you OK? - Is Sasha definitely gone? - Yep.
Did you organise all of this? Yeah, and Jack and Simone and Vincent.
- Jack? - And Simone and Vincent, yeah.
- Thanks.
- You look gorgeous.
- Thank you.
Sim styled me.
- Mm-hm.
So where's Meredith? Uh, she's over there talking to your dad about chakras.
LILY: Oh, my God.
- How old is she again? - PETE: 42.
Let's hope she's too old for him.
- He likes a 40-year age gap.
- (CHUCKLES) You shouldn't feel bad.
In this business, sometimes sometimes you're forced to knife someone in the back.
I've always considered it self-defence.
- I didn't knife anybody.
- Well Yay! Yay! (GASPS) Your lipstick is gorgeous! And that is a hard colour for a blonde to pull off.
I'm glad you took the risk.
And don't worry about Sasha.
No-one likes you when you're in that job.
She's probably relieved.
You do realise that's going to be my job? - Hey.
Drink? - Yes.
Apparently my lipstick is brave.
- What? It's great.
- I think it looks good.
- Would you kiss these lips? - Uh, yeah.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) Dale, do you think it's bad that I took Sasha's job? You didn't take Sasha's job.
You accepted a promotion.
Oh! See? I love you, Dale.
Oh, that wasn't the response I expected.
(LAUGHS) Good, good, uh Excuse me, everyone.
Sorry, sorry.
Could I get your attention there? Hello, everyone.
Yeah, that was a bit of a dramatic start to the party, wasn't it? It's what you call a true surprise party.
Anyway, um, look, Lily hates speeches and she especially hates my speeches.
But given she's turning 30 and she's my best mate, I figured what the hell, it's kind of my duty.
Also, I was looking through things during the week, and I dug up a list that Lily gave me when she was 21 of all the things that she hoped to achieve by the time she was 30.
(OTHERS LAUGH) Number one.
"Backpack to all seven continents.
" Oh, that's probably only possible if you actually purchase a backpack in the first place, isn't it, so no tick there.
"Run a marathon.
" A lot of fitness-based goals on here, which is interesting, given I've barely seen Lils get beyond much of a brisk walk.
- I can run.
- (OTHERS CHUCKLE) "Make love to a Frenchman.
" So if there's any Frenchmen in the audience or if you got any French lineage - (SPEAKS FRENCH) - (ALL LAUGH) But there was one last thing on the list, um, and that was to have been a great friend.
And I'm sure everyone here would agree with me, Lily, that you've you've well over-achieved in that.
You're, um (CHUCKLES) You're thoughtful and kind and brilliant and fierce and funny and fair and smart and You mean the world to me and I love you.
Um, yeah, so here's to Lily.
ALL: To Lily.
And now her other best friend, Simone, is gonna say a few words.
- Simi.
- Thank you.
(CLEARS THROAT) Um, now we would like Lily to respond.
And we're going to ask her to respond in a language that she knows very well the language of dance.
- ('I LIKE TO MOVE IT' PLAYS) - (ALL WHOOP) No, no, no, no, no, no.
Sim! Come on! To the stage! (WHOOPING AND CHEERING) You like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it (ALL CHEER) (CHEERING CONTINUES) (ALL CONTINUE CHEERING) Woman! Ya nice, sweet Fantastic (ALL CONTINUE CHEERING) Big ship on de ocean that a big 'Titanic' Woman! Ya nice, sweet Fantastic Big ship on de ocean that a big 'Titanic' Woman! Ya nice, sweet Energetic Big ship on de ocean that a big 'Titanic' - I like to move it, move it - (ALL CHEER) I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it You like to move it I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it You like to move it (ALL CHEER) Fantastic.
I love you.
(CHEERING CONTINUES) Your floral designs are amazing.
Mmm! Thank you.
Your, um, baby bump is amazing.
- (LAUGHS) - How are you feeling? I'm well, I'm really well.
I'm just tired.
I've been sitting here watching.
Which one is the guy that Lily likes? Oh, no-one.
I'm the one who wants to get her a birthday pash.
- She's not up for it.
- No, no, there is someone.
Pete was telling me there's some guy at work.
Don't think so.
The only one she hangs out with at work is, um uh, Dale.
MEREDITH: Oh, not him.
No.
It's the chef! That's it.
Oh, I can't remember his name.
- Jack? - Yes, that's him.
Which one is he? Um there.
MEREDITH: Oh, uh Hmm, he's handsome.
I can see the attraction.
Yep.
- VINCENT: Hey, hey.
- Shall we? - Yes, we shall.
- All right, mate.
Lil, have a shot.
No, thanks.
I'm trying to keep myself nice.
VINCENT: Have one, have one, have one.
Have one.
- One shot.
- Alright, one.
(OTHERS CHATTER NEARBY) - Oh! - Oh! - Guess who! - Uh I don't know.
- Come on, guess.
- I - I really don't know.
- Just one guess.
- Eric? - No! It's me, Bernard.
- Oh, Bernard, hi.
How - Happy birthday! I didn't realise that you were coming.
- Hug it out, yeah.
- Oh, amazing.
- Hey, buddy, what's up? - Yeah, good.
- Yeah, I got you a present.
- You didn't have to do that.
Yeah, it's a mix tape.
Yeah, well, a modern equivalent.
I got all my favourite songs, put them on a hard drive, and I haven't done a count but there's probably 32,000 songs on there.
Wow! Thank you so much.
That's lovely.
Awesome party by the way.
(LAUGHS) It's so good! I love an open bar.
I think it's just beer and wine.
- That's all I'm drinking.
- And only till 11, so Cool.
Hurry up, Bernard! Get a move on.
- (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) - Oh! - Cool, yeah.
- Oh, thanks.
Can you slow it down a little bit, darling? Let him have a bit of fun, darl.
Anthony, I would love him to have some fun.
I just don't want him to have fun that he'll get hurt.
You have no idea what our life is like.
God! I want him to have some fun.
Whatever I say, it's the wrong thing.
LILY: It's not you, Dad.
She's just She's exhausted.
No, it is me.
But thanks for saying that.
Thank you.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY) Did you organise all of this? - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Do you want to have a dance later? Why would you want to dance with a backstabber like me? I don't know.
I just do.
- Right for a drink? - Yeah, yeah, good.
- (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) - Really? Your focus is in the wrong place.
Hi.
You! Thank you so much for organising this for me.
Very naughty.
Are you interested in Jack? No.
Why? If anything happened between you and Jack, you'd tell me, right? Yeah.
Don't lie to me.
'Cause if you lie to me, I can't be your friend.
And that would break my heart.
- OK.
- Yeah.
(SIGHS) SONG: Under the water We can't breathe We can't breathe Under the water We die Under the water There is no-one Hey.
Hey, congratulations on the new job.
I'm really proud of you.
Thank you, Dad.
I've been up and down the career ladder a few times.
It probably wasn't the wisest move announcing your promotion at a party.
No, that wasn't part of the plan.
Especially at a party where the person you're deposing is an actual guest.
Yes.
Got that.
Come and have a dance with your old dad, OK? - Dadda dance? - Dadda Dadda.
Come on.
- If you don't do it - Oh, no.
- Please don't point the fingers.
- Come on, up.
Come on, darl.
- Ooh.
- Ooh, dear.
(SIMONE LAUGHS) Have you ever had sex on a plane? - BOTH: Yes.
- Actually, it was a bus.
- Down it goes.
- Cheers.
- Oh.
- (GIGGLES) "Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we "For such as we are made of, such we be.
" Is that a quote from 'Twelfth Night'? - LILY: Dad, eat.
- TONY: Oh, thank you, darl.
- (IVAN COUGHS) Lily! - Oh! - Hello, Ivan.
- Mmm! - You excited about the baby? - Yeah.
You're glowing! Oh (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) Hi, birthday girl.
- Hi.
- Ready for that dance? Um, I might just keep moving this way.
I've got lots of people to talk to.
I'm a person.
Talk to me.
- OK.
- Come on.
It's time for our dance.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) SIMONE: So can you feel this? Sure can.
Can you feel this? - (LAUGHS) Yep.
- Yeah? - What the hell is she doing? - She's drunk.
Can't feel anything below the waist.
(GIGGLES) (GASPS) (GROANS) - Darling.
Hon? - It's alright, it's alright.
Why do you have to be that girl every single time? Stop, Lily.
Look after your brother, I'll look after Simone.
- Pete, get some ice.
- VINCENT: It's fine.
It happened before, it's gonna happen again.
- TONY: Let's just get him home, OK? - It's alright, it's alright.
- No, he's alright, right? - He's fine, he's gonna be fine.
- He's gonna be fine.
- Watch his head.
Thanks, Lil.
Hey I like looking after you.
You shouldn't have to look after your big brother, Lil.
I'm supposed to look after you.
- Seatbelt.
- Yeah.
- You guys alright? - MIMI: Good, darl.
- TONY: See you.
- Night-night.
- Can this night get any worse? - Uh - Obviously.
What do you reckon? - (MUSIC STOPS) SASHA: Excuse me, everyone.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
She's back.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I'd like to make a toast to the lovely Lily.
Ooh.
For those of you who don't know me, I've been Lily's boss and mentor for a number of years.
But Lily has been more than a protege to me.
She's been a friend and a confidante, as we walked side by side down the sometimes rocky road of breakfast TV.
I've always seen Lily as a bud, a flower about to bloom.
(CHUCKLES) And bloom she has.
Look at her.
(CHUCKLES) But like many blossoms she bloomed too early.
And what we see now is not the beauty of her petals opening, but rather the tragic desperation of a flower trying to grow too fast and too soon.
She usually speak like this? - It's pretty weird.
- I don't know.
And as her mentor, I want to say, "Lily, grow and bloom.
"Be that flower.
" But I can't.
I can't, because if she is plucked too soon, she will die.
She'll be trodden on and squashed into the ground, never, never to blossom again.
She'll be nothing more than mulch.
To Lily! (CHUCKLES) - SOME GUESTS: To Lily! - PETE: Lily.
WOMAN: Lily! It's a pretty weird speaking style.
Strangely effective, I reckon.
Job's yours.
Good luck.
Lil.
Lil, Lil.
The police are here to see you.
- Why? - Something about a noise complaint.
Get them to talk to the people that own the place.
- They've asked to talk to you.
- Oh, shit! - Take this.
- OK.
- Hello.
- Are you Miss Lily Woodward? - Yes.
- There's been a complaint.
What? About me? The complaint is you're too damn sexy for your own good.
- (WOMEN SHOUT EXCITEDLY) - (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) - (SHOUTING AND MUSIC CONTINUE INSIDE) - Lily, hey, you OK? Yeah.
Thank you for organising all of this, but I think I'm gonna head home.
I did not organise the stripper, by the way.
Oh, so does that mean you did organise Simone sexually assaulting Vincent, and Sasha's ode to mulch? No, no, I didn't organise those either, but they were equally entertaining.
Oh, OK.
If you wait 10 minutes, I can walk you home.
Oh, no, you stay with Meredith.
Oh, that's alright.
She already left.
Oh, I'll be right.
- You sure? - Yeah.
(SHOUTING AND MUSIC CONTINUE INSIDE) JACK: Hey.
- Hi.
- You're leaving.
- Did Simone get home safely? - Yeah.
Can I walk you home? I don't need you to walk me home.
I'll walk you anyway.
(HINGES CREAK SOFTLY, LOCK CLICKS) (LAIDBACK MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY) - PETE: Hey.
- Mm.
Hi.
- Want to go to bed? - Mm-hm.
- How did the party end up? - Badly.
- Poor Lily.
- Yeah.
Mmm.
I feel like things are going really well with us.
We've got a healthy baby on the way and you've got a new job.
I don't feel so sick anymore.
(SIGHS) I'm happy.
SONG: I don't think they know what they mean I don't think they know what love is Throw it around like it's worthless Don't think they know what love is I can't be with you, Jack.
OK.
All I'm doing is walking home with you.
I explained to you, there is a quarantine period.
Does that include walking? No.
So was Simone OK? Yep.
I wanted to come here alone and see you with no distractions.
Well, here I am, alone.
What do you want to say? I think I have a problem when it comes to you.
I never intentionally stabbed Sasha in the back, OK? I I'm not like that.
You need to know that.
Yeah, I do know that.
No, it's It's not that.
It's something else.
What? I think I like you too much.
Jack, there are so many more reasons why we shouldn't be together than why we should.
You're my friend and I don't want that to cross over into anything else.
So you don't feel anything for me? SONG: Keep calm Colour in the lines No.
No, I don't.
I'm sorry.
is movin' too slow So shut up and close your eyes Tell me things that only you know Do I fit in your design?