Theodosia (2022) s01e05 Episode Script

[upbeat music]
♪
What if ancient Egyptian magic
taps into some
undiscovered force?
I mean, we didn't know about
electromagnetism until 1820.
If we could [sips]
If we could harness it,
we can invent things like
a teleportation machine.
We could invent a shrink
ray. We could even
Okay, I actually
think I preferred it
when you were a statue.
At least I could eat in peace.
[playful music]
No!
[ethereal whispers]
- The eclipse approaches.
- [people screaming]
Chaos is coming.
You will be ours.
[people screaming]
[dramatic music]
What?
Who are you?
Wow, you really want
that last muffin.
♪
Theo? Are you okay?
- The girl.
- The Eye has a guardian.
♪
This vision cannot be ignored.
A guy with a mask? Yeah.
Okay, that does
sound pretty scary.
I'll tell you what,
have the last muffin
to make yourself feel better.
Joking. Visions
aren't real, Sis.
This from the guy who
didn't think magic was real.
I think I'm going down to
the Arcade to make sure
it's not turned into an
actual life horror show.
Can you come?
- I can't, sorry.
- I've got a busy day.
I'm trying to disprove
the existence of gravity
using a ladder and
four cans of paint.
Shame, it's just Safiya said
that she'd be there today.
Safiya?
Give me five minutes to attend
to some personal grooming,
and I'll be right with you.
[exciting mystical music]
♪
♪
[dramatic music]
♪
Florence, you're two
weeks behind on your rent.
- Come on, Charlie.
- You know we're good for it.
Sorry, Will, landlord's
kicking out anyone
who doesn't pay up today.
Well, you tell him to come
and see me about that.
- Whoa, it's fine.
- I've got this.
Meet me at the Arcade
later. I'll pay the rent.
Nice one, Will, but
don't let me down.
And how are you gonna come up
with all that money in a day?
Don't worry. I've got this.
If I have to, I'll
front dad's watch.
- No, Will.
- I won't let you do that.
Well, then I'll find
the cash another way.
How?
Money doesn't just
grow on trees.
True, but sometimes it
does grow behind the ear.
- [exhales sharply]
- [chuckles]
- Don't worry, Mum.
- I've got this.
[bells tolling]
[plucky orchestral music]
♪
- Henry, come on!
- What's keeping you?
What?
Did you dip your head
in a vat of melted candles?
It's a new thing I'm trying.
Well, it's definitely a look.
[chuckles] Come on.
I thought it looked good.
You forgot your amulet.
I really hope you don't
think I'm wearing that.
Why not?
At least it'll
distract the attention
away from your hair.
This is a carefully
curated look.
So when my visions come true,
you'll be okay all by yourself
in the fiery wasteland?
- It works for me.
- Great.
Great.
That was a joke, right?
Theo?
The Throckmorton girl
appeared in my vision.
There's a power in
her that troubles me.
I must know more.
Pass me the scarab.
[eerie music]
♪
Hear me, Apep.
By the power of
Heka, draw breath.
By the power of Shu,
take flight.
Find me the child.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I am now holding
the queen of hearts.
I want you to pay very close
attention to this next section.
Something strange might happen.
Before your eyes,
I am going to transform
the queen of hearts into
- Whoa.
- The king of spades, everyone.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Applause is nice,
but I can't eat it.
So, please.
Thank you.
- Give me that!
- Whoa!
Come on! Give a guy a break!
Nice disappearing act, lads.
Oh! Hello, there.
Let's see if we can
find you some friends.
[upbeat music]
♪
See? No fire.
No screaming. That
guy is still creepy.
[laughter]
Theo thinks something
bad's gonna happen today.
Well, she's right about that.
What has gone wrong
with your hair?
See? I told you.
It might look better like this.
Yeah, it looks a
little bit better.
Maybe give him more of a fringe.
Like you know, like
Stop touching my hair.
Hey, guys.
- Will, your face.
- I know.
It really is a burden
being this good-looking.
No, you don't get to avoid
the subject that easily.
What happened? Is that blood?
No, it was nothing.
Just another day on the
fun-filled streets of London.
- This isn't nothing, Will.
- Tell me what's going on.
- Ah!
- Oh, yes!
Oh, come on!
Looks like I could ask
you the same thing.
What's going on?
- I just
- I had this this vision,
and I was worried that
something bad might happen.
I was wrong. Now,
let's go have fun.
Oh, and you need to
see Henry's new hair.
I told you to stop.
[bells tolling]
I hope you're all up
for the tournament.
What tournament?
Only the most exciting
table tennis tournament
London has ever seen.
Doubles, knockout format.
Winners get a grand
cash prize. Yeah.
- Artie, my milkshake!
- All right, all right.
How many pairs of
hands do you see here?
That's right. One.
- I might enter.
- It could be fun.
You wanna be my partner, Theo?
I'll be your partner.
I was tennis table
champion at my last school.
Oh, it's just that I thought
it would take Theo's mind
off her freaky vision.
Fine, it's not like I
can't get another partner.
[clearing throat]
Do you need me to call a doctor?
Well, I just thought I
could be your partner.
Fine, but only if
you don't talk,
do exactly as I say, and
pretend not to know me.
Deal.
Which end do I hold, again?
I thought you said you were
champion at your last school.
I mean, I would have been
if I hadn't left
after the first day.
Me in that uniform?
Not happening.
Yeah, so you mean
you can't play?
Honestly, you need to learn
how to take a joke and that
I'm brilliant at everything.
Yeah, you really are.
Use forehand topspin
on the weakest player.
Don't get caught
out of position.
Let's really set up
that third ball attack.
Yeah, okay, but who are you,
and what have you
done with Will?
Sorry, did I ever mention
I'm pretty competitive?
Yeah, I'm getting that.
Ladies and gentlemen,
let the ping-pong
ding dong begin!
[cheers and applause]
We've got this, okay.
[upbeat rock music]
♪
[cheers and applause]
♪
[cheers and applause]
♪
Okay, Theo, come on!
[cheers and applause]
Ooh!
♪
[laughter]
That's for you.
[indistinct chatter]
♪
- Again.
- Yes!
Yes!
[cheers and applause]
Yay, now everyone can
order their drinks!
High five!
- Ooh, unlucky, mate.
- Unlucky, mate.
♪
- all: Oh!
- All right.
Better luck next time.
And in the final, we have
Theodosia and Will
- Yeah!
- Versus Safiya and Henry!
A round of applause, people!
There you go! Lovely!
- I think we can win.
- Oh, I know we can.
You really want this, don't you?
Sorry. Is it that obvious?
- Just a little bit.
- Are you okay?
- Sure, never better.
- Win, lose, it's all good to me.
Liar.
Okay, losing wouldn't be good,
but I could live with it.
Yeah, try telling
your face that.
Look, I don't want you
to feel any pressure.
I want this to be fun.
I think that train left the
station a long time ago.
Okay, let's reset.
From now on, we just
enjoy ourselves.
I already am.
We so got this.
Yeah.
[tense music]
♪
Yes! All: Oh!
Okay. We got this, yeah?
You okay?
♪
It's found her.
Let's see what power
this child possesses.
[dramatic music]
♪
- Look, a magic beetle!
- What?
Will, look.
- Where?
- There.
- Where?
- What's happening?
What are you on about, Theo?
- Oh, it's gone.
- What are you doing?
No, I know this sounds crazy
Keep playing.
But there was a magic
beetle right there.
- Yeah, right.
- Don't listen to her.
She's just trying
to psych us out.
No, I'm being serious.
I have a bad feeling
about this, really.
Yeah, 'cause you know
you're gonna lose.
Look, there's nothing there.
Look, I know your
vision freaked you out,
but the only thing you
should be scared of
around here is Henry's hair.
- I get it.
- The hair was a mistake.
- No way.
- A bit weird.
I was I was I
was sure I saw that.
I'm sorry.
Please, just get back to
our inevitable victory.
- All right!
- Oh, they're starting again.
All: Whoo!
♪
She can sense the magic.
Interesting.
♪
Yeah, come on! Whoo! Yeah!
Okay. We got this, yeah?
She always does
this type of thing.
He's going for a topspin.
- Oh, so I angle my bat down.
- Oh, we so got this.
- Okay.
- [beetle buzzes]
Oh!
We might need to work
on that reaction time.
Will, there's bad magic
here I can feel it.
- Something's wrong here.
- Yeah, the scoreboard.
We're totally getting destroyed.
Boring!
Ugh, cockroach!
My hero.
That's the bad magic.
♪
- Theo?
- I have to catch it!
Where are you going?
You wanna forfeit the game?
N-no wait. Theo, come back!
What is she doing?
Being weird as usual.
Sorry, mate. Game over.
Yes, we won!
- It doesn't count.
- They gave up.
Oh, where is it?
♪
I can't let it get away.
♪
Excuse me.
Oh, there!
♪
Yes!
♪
What are you?
Will, I got it!
- So that's why we lost?
- So you can start a zoo?
No, it's magic!
It's just a regular beetle.
I need to take it home
so I can study it.
My little spy must
not be captured.
♪
It's on fire!
[gasps] Ow!
♪
What's that?
♪
What's happening?
All: Whoa!
[all shouting]
♪
We've got to get out of here!
[all shrieking]
It's just like in my vision!
Please tell me this
has a happy ending.
♪
[shouts]
[people gasping]
♪
She's afraid.
It would seem I
overestimated her powers.
Whoa!
♪♪
This is worse than my
recurring dream where I'm eaten
by my own face. How are
you not freaking out?
Please, I once woke up to find
a crocodile in my bedroom.
♪
Anytime you want
to do a spell, sis.
I mean, no rush.
Okay. I can try to
take away its power.
Ready for some pest
control? Ready?
As I'll ever be.
Hear me, Ancients.
Khepri, as you shone
light on the world,
shine your light
on this creature
and banish it to the underworld.
Why isn't it working?
I don't know!
You're you're not giving
it enough diva realness.
I'm serious, why should
the gods listen to you
if you don't commit
to the moment?
- Commit to the moment, Theo!
- Commit to the moment!
Khepri, as you shone
light on this world,
shine your light
on this creature
and banish the curse
to the underworld!
- What is that?
- Weird.
It's a scarab beetle
like the ones from home.
I didn't know you got them here.
Do you think it's dead?
It is now.
[tense music]
♪
Bring back my scarab.
♪
[upbeat music]
♪
Sorry for that little delay,
- ladies and gents.
- Artie!
I'm sure our gatecrasher
was just a one-off.
Everyone calm down, yeah?
And don't tell the
health inspector.
What about the tournament?
- The net's all burned.
- Sorry, guys.
[sighs]
But why don't you
drown your sorrows
in some very reasonably
priced cake, huh?
Want to get a cake?
- You mean a slice of cake?
- No.
I've literally never known
anyone eat as much as you.
Thanks.
I'm sorry I didn't believe
you about the magic beetle.
I'm sorry I lost us the game.
Like that's important?
Be right back.
You've got the rent?
It's a long story.
I'll just give you this instead.
No.
It's all I have.
[somber music]
Okay.
Your rent is paid. Bye.
Rent.
Don't worry, okay?
♪
That's why you wanted
to win so much.
You needed the prize
money for rent?
- Don't worry about it.
- Everything is cool.
No, no, no, I have some savings.
I can help with the rent.
I appreciate your offer, Theo.
I really do, but I have
to do this on my own.
You mean you don't
want me to interfere.
You do kind of have a way
of taking over and
ordering people about,
- kind of.
- It's okay.
I get it. I'm sorry.
Okay, and I, Theodosia
Throckmorton,
promise to never interfere with
your life ever, ever again.
I will hold you to that.
[warm music]
You know we would have
won the tournament, right?
- Are you kidding?
- Of course we would.
Did you see my backhand?
It's truly a thing
of beauty, really.
Can I get you a hot chocolate?
I thought you'd never ask.
♪
All right, Artie.
[suspenseful music]
♪
[indistinct chatter]
[machine laughs mechanically]
Don't hate me
'cause you ain't me.
- How is it possible?
- Are you even human?
So are we gonna talk
about that beetle?
Do we have to?
I still feel it brushing
against my hair.
It wasn't just a coincidence
that it was here.
It did seem pretty
interested in us.
No, it wasn't interested in us.
It was interested in Theo.
♪
Can I have two hot
chocolates, please?
♪
- If you get them yourself.
- I'm done.
Who knew having a
job was so hard?
"Artie, where's my food?"
"Artie, where's my drink?"
Seriously, though, I'm
rushed off my feet.
I've worn out enough shoes
for a bunch of millipedes.
[playful music]
♪
You know what you need, Artie?
An assistant. I know
the perfect person.
Will? He's a street magician.
He loves the open road. He
wouldn't wanna work here.
- You should ask him.
- He might surprise you.
It would be awesome
if he said, "Yes."
You two would be
a brilliant team.
Oh, we'd have so much fun!
Oh, happy days in
the Penny Arcade!
[both chuckling]
[objects clattering]
You okay?
- Yeah.
- I need you to take this.
Hmm, that's sort of cool.
Also a necklace, so no, thanks.
What is it with you
men and jewelry?
What if I told you
it had magical powers
that was going to
protect the Arcade
from an almost certain disaster?
[snorts]
[laughing]
I would laugh.
And then I'd take it
anyway, just in case.
Okay, cool.
[muttering]
I'm never going to get my
top score back from you.
- Don't give up, Henry.
- I like a boy who keeps trying.
- Guess what?
- The King has made me
an honorary member of
the British Royal Family.
- Better.
- Artie has offered me a job.
Does this mean we
get free chips?
Nice try.
- Will, that's awesome news!
- It is.
If you're here instead
of doing street magic,
we'll be able to hang out more.
I'm gonna be working, Safiya.
Work schmerk.
I told you I could look
after myself, didn't I?
You did.
I'm seriously so
happy for you, Will.
I didn't even need to interfere.
♪
[dramatic music]
♪
She's powerful.
I will have to deal with her.
♪