There's... Johnny! (2017) s01e05 Episode Script
The Drop
1 Most important thing is that no one outside of this room finds out about this.
I mean, until we assess how serious the threat is "How serious the threat is"? Counselor, please, let's try to keep it calm.
Some nut leaves a hand grenade Fake grenade.
It was a fake grenade.
Yes, thank God, but Fine, some nuts leaves a fake grenade, binoculars, and a note threatening Johnny's family on his front fucking lawn.
I would assess the threat as pretty fucking serious.
- I say we cancel the show.
- I agree.
- I don't think that's such a good idea.
- Oh, big surprise.
Network doesn't think that's a good idea.
- It's not about money.
- Of course not.
- Fuck the money, Doug.
- I'm not arguing! The only thing that matters here is Johnny's safety.
- Yes.
- May I finish? Fine, just finish fucking faster.
[LIGHT MUSIC.]
I-I-I don't know about this.
Just relax.
Johnny's gonna love it.
You sure? Trust me, it is funny.
But if if he doesn't, tell him you thought of it and I was against it.
Fine.
I'm simply saying, I think it sends the wrong message.
If we fold up our tent and run, it makes this wacko think that he's in charge.
But if we carry on business as usual, it shows - that we're in charge.
- You know what, Doug? If it was your fucking family He's right.
[FUNKY MUSIC.]
We do the show.
All right.
We do the show.
- Uh, everything okay? - Yes.
- Can we go in? - No.
- Well, oh.
- Damn.
Let's look at this as a positive, okay? I-I want to work on Here's Johnny! [BAND PLAYS "JOHNNY'S THEME".]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Whoopee.
What's with all the extra security? Uh, couple of typewriters gone missing.
They're keeping an eye out.
Oh, uh, look, I'm I'll be honest with you, I'm I'm pretty tired of being treated like a sexual object.
[LAUGHTER.]
I-I have a mind, you know? [LAUGHTER.]
Here's an interesting scientific one.
Did you know that hexachlorophene has been banned from the market? And they've been using it in deodorants - [SCATTERED LAUGHTER.]
- For years.
They determined it has hazardous effects because they've been making tests on white mice, with hexachlorophene.
And they would have banned it sooner, but it took three years to teach the mice to spray it under their arms.
[LAUGHTER.]
[JOHNNY CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY.]
Hey.
That was funny.
"Ha-ha-ha.
" [APPLAUSE.]
What's with him? He's having a tough week.
Oh, did his tricycle break? - His brother.
- In Vietnam.
Oh, shit, what happened? - Wait, he died? - Missing.
What do you mean, missing? Children.
[EXHALES.]
Missing how? - Like, captured? - They don't know.
Army guy showed up at his parents' house and said he was missing; that's all I know.
- Fuck.
- Yeah, so maybe you could try being nice to him for a change.
All right.
[JOHNNY TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER.]
Hey.
Cookie? [AUDIENCE APPLAUSE.]
Inconsolable.
[SCOFFS.]
There's probably not anyone in the country who's not familiar with Redd Foxx after only two Did anybody unplug the cart? - [TENSE MUSIC.]
- The cart, hurry up, go.
Unplug the cart.
Go.
Go.
[ELECTRICITY SURGES.]
[LAUGHTER.]
[SIGHS.]
Not the whole thing.
Just [ELECTRICITY SPUTTERS.]
[ELECTRICAL CLANKING.]
God, is it the Third World War and I don't know? [LAUGHTER.]
Come on.
Get out of there.
[MOTOR WHIRRING.]
Mr.
Redd Foxx.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
[BAND PLAYING.]
What's going on? They said you were coming in in a strange way - How are you? - Good, good, pleasure.
Will you? I'll talk to him.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
So, yeah, we're a little worried about you.
Look, I-I know that I've been kind of out of it lately, but it's it's No, I can't even imagine.
My my brother's like, my hero, and if anything ever happened to him Of course.
Which is why We thought it was time that you, um Try something.
Sitting? No, silly.
This.
[PHONE RINGING.]
"Tonight Show.
" Please hold.
[CLICK.]
It's him.
[JOHNNY PICKS UP PHONE RECEIVER.]
Hello, this is Johnny Carson.
No, no-no-no-no-no It will definitely make you less sad.
Okay.
Okay.
Ooh, yeah.
How do you do it? I don't understand how you could just put him through to Johnny like that.
He said he only wanted to talk to Johnny and - if I didn't put him through - Okay, all right.
Listen, I don't think this is our primary concern right now.
It's okay, Roz.
I hate to say it, but now that he's demanding money, that's a whole other thing.
Now it's extortion.
I think we have to call the FBI.
- Ah, Doug, come on.
- The FBI? - You don't want to do that.
- He's right.
So it is written.
So it shall be done.
Well, I think our boy is feeling it.
Let me see your hand for a second.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
Okay, you see that line right there? - Yeah.
- That's your success line.
What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not making this up.
This is a real thing.
And, uh, you have a few detours here but then in the end, great success.
Mine is all What does yours say? Well, it starts out okay, but then, you see right there? Yeah.
That's where it gets all fucked up.
And then afterwards, a little - It's murky.
- Mm.
[GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC.]
You notice any other difference here? My hand is prettier.
Okay.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
No, see, if this looked like that, my life would be a whole lot simpler.
I get it.
- Do ya? - Yeah.
I mean, I'll be honest I always wished I was black.
Wow.
I mean That's got to be the most Beverly Hills bullshit thing you've ever said.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
But it's true.
Why? [SOLEMN MUSIC.]
Hey.
Buddy? How you doing, little brother? - What what are you - Shh, shh.
I'm fine.
I'll be back.
No, don't go.
I promise.
Don't go! I love you! Okay, I think we might be done here.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
Oh, my God.
Did I tell you? The best barbeque potato chips of all time.
And this is the only store in this area you can get them.
What is that? What do they put in these? Yeah, I don't know, it's just the right combination - of good stuff and shit.
- Mm.
You know, it's a very tricky balance to get right.
- Yeah, but they have nailed it.
- I know.
These make me very happy.
Can I share something with you? Okay, uh you know what? I think maybe I gave you the wrong I'm try - Oh, no.
- Well, uh Tell me that's not a tape of your stand-up.
Okay well it's Oh, that's why you came along, - to hustle me.
- No, no, come on, okay To get me to listen to your friggin' stand-up.
No, okay, listen, no.
It's just that you see a lot of comics and you know a lot, and I just I would really value your opinion.
Come on.
Okay, okay, give me.
It'll listen.
Thank you.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
Thank you, okay, uh, just so you know, that's all new stuff.
That's just me.
You know, stream of conscious, right into the tape.
I haven't even done that on stage yet, it's just it's just I think there's an attitude in there, like a socially-conscious voice Okay, you need to just stop talking now.
Holy smokes.
You are not going to believe who I just saw.
Chrissy Ann Aldean! - What? - Who? Chrissy Ann Aldean.
From back home.
I told you about her.
- Oh, the beauty contest chick.
- Mm-hmm.
I saw her drive by.
What would she be doing in LA? Okay, so, sometimes, with pot, you see things that aren't really there.
Mm-mm, no, I swear I saw her.
That was her.
- Okay, who needs her? - Eat more chips.
- Yeah.
- [MUMBLES.]
Mmm.
Giving you a round of applause.
Now, please rest assured the FBI knows how to handle these situations.
Now, the most promising scenario is before the scheduled drop, which we now know to be 1500 hours, or 3:00, we sniff out and preemptively bag this little fucker Pardon my French.
We're all fluent French speakers here.
Towards that, Agent Harris, you had some thoughts on the matter.
Thank you, Agent Coghlan.
In my experience, 90% of the time these things are what we call "inside jobs.
" Meaning what? Are you kidding? Have you never seen a movie? No, I know what he's saying, I'm just I'm asking What are you saying? I'm saying what we might have here is a disgruntled employee or ex-employee or someone new.
Are there any recent hires we should know about? - Not that I can - We've been made aware of a Mr.
A.
Klavin.
- Oh, my God.
- Who the hell is that? - Who? - Andy.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
Oh, for fuck's sake, Andy? No, no, he's a good kid.
He's a screw-up, but you don't have to worry about him.
How long since you hired him? I don't know, what? A couple of weeks? I don't think we ever really hired him, he just kind of showed up one day.
- Mm-hmm.
- No, not in a bad way.
He he Let us conduct our investigation.
We know what we're doing, ma'am.
[DOWNBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
Hey.
What are you doing out here? Hey, no.
Put that away.
Are you nuts? Where did you even get that? - Rasheed.
- What have we created? It's just been a tough week and it really helps.
Just take it easy with that, okay? And you can give that to Rasheed.
- What'd you think? - Honestly, I think he's great and really funny.
- That is neither of those things.
- Oh.
No, he just sounds angry.
He could ratchet that down a bit, a lot, actually, so Do me a favor and let him know? Why don't you let him know? Because I don't really want to.
So, uh, I'll put it on your desk.
Oh, and here.
I don't want you walking in smelling like a freshman dorm room.
[SPRAY HISSING.]
Yeah, that should help.
[LIGHT FUNKY MUSIC.]
[SEEDY MUSIC.]
So this kid, he comes in today, - reeking of marijuana.
- Mmhmm.
Last week there was an incident at a church.
He was circulating currency defaced with the words and I'm quoting here "Fuck Nixon.
" - Hm.
- And then, there's this.
Found it on his desk.
You gotta get angry in this country.
You can't just lie.
It's time to get angry.
The Lord says, reap what you sew.
I say, sew what, motherfucker? It's time to take and take down, by any means necessary.
- [TAPE STOPS.]
- [DOOR OPENS.]
I was, uh, I was just looking for some potato chips.
And I didn't steal any typewriters, if that's what you're thinking.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
It's not him.
[EXHALES.]
Wow.
Sure looks real.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
That's the whole point.
If it didn't, we'd be some kind of assholes, wouldn't we? It'll do the trick.
How do they let you run a fucking network? - Seriously? - Mr.
Carson, to reiterate, there is no need for you to personally be a part of this.
Yeah, seriously, John, why risk it? These gentlemen are certainly capable of Freddie.
I say no more.
Okay, well, I'll drive in Mr.
Carson's car with him.
We have follow cars and cars at each designated contact point and helicopter surveillance overhead.
Are we ready? The big man in? I need him to try on these blazers for me and he like to Yeah, I'm ready, come on.
Okay, good.
Everything's fine.
Everybody carry on.
Perhaps this is a little less urgent.
Okay, let's pull in over here.
And now, we wait.
Well, well.
What a coincidence.
[SOFT CHUCKLE.]
Okay, Mr.
Fuck Nixon, where are we going? - Pretty scary stuff, huh? - This? No.
- Try comedy.
- [LAUGHS.]
Andy? It's Chrissy Ann.
Aldean.
From Valentine.
Um Are you okay? Yeah, I'm Yeah, sorry, it's just, um, what What am I doing out here? Well, I won a beauty contest back home.
I know.
My mom sent me a a clipping.
Oh.
That is so sweet.
Well, anyhoo, on account of that, I got flown out here to meet with a fancy modeling agent.
So it looks like you're not the only Valentine High alum to make it to Hollywood.
That's that's so great.
Good for you.
That is so strange.
I-I thought I saw someone who looked like you yesterday, but Well, it's me.
Wow.
Barbeque potato chip? Oh, mm-mm.
Anyway, I'll be out here until the end of the week.
Maybe we could get together.
Sure.
- I'll call you.
- Okay.
At "The Tonight Show.
" Little Andy Klavin.
Oh.
- [CHIPS CRUNCH.]
- [FUNKY STING.]
[SOFT GIGGLE.]
Fastest sprinter on the Valentine High track team.
Uh, fifth fastest, actually.
Oh.
[GIGGLES.]
[IDLE FUNKY MUSIC.]
It's time.
If I can say, sir, you got some brass balls.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [PATS SHOULDER.]
Whoa, whoa! What is that? Just in case.
[DRAMATIC FUNKY MUSIC.]
[HELICOPTER HOVERING.]
Johnny? Hey.
Is that Johnny Carson? It is, oh, my God.
We have to get his autograph.
Johnny! 11:00, code blue.
Code blue! Johnny, I love your hey oh what are you let go.
We just wanted autographs.
- You're hurting my arm.
- Ma'am, hold still.
Caution, suspects may be armed.
Let go.
Wait, now who's this? Yep, I got eyes on him.
- Gotcha, Klavin, you son of a - There he is! [HELICOPTER HOVERING.]
Coghlan, you owe me five bucks.
Yeah, yeah, get him, get him! Huh? No, no, no, you just went past him! He's getting away! [MUSICAL FLOURISH.]
I mean, until we assess how serious the threat is "How serious the threat is"? Counselor, please, let's try to keep it calm.
Some nut leaves a hand grenade Fake grenade.
It was a fake grenade.
Yes, thank God, but Fine, some nuts leaves a fake grenade, binoculars, and a note threatening Johnny's family on his front fucking lawn.
I would assess the threat as pretty fucking serious.
- I say we cancel the show.
- I agree.
- I don't think that's such a good idea.
- Oh, big surprise.
Network doesn't think that's a good idea.
- It's not about money.
- Of course not.
- Fuck the money, Doug.
- I'm not arguing! The only thing that matters here is Johnny's safety.
- Yes.
- May I finish? Fine, just finish fucking faster.
[LIGHT MUSIC.]
I-I-I don't know about this.
Just relax.
Johnny's gonna love it.
You sure? Trust me, it is funny.
But if if he doesn't, tell him you thought of it and I was against it.
Fine.
I'm simply saying, I think it sends the wrong message.
If we fold up our tent and run, it makes this wacko think that he's in charge.
But if we carry on business as usual, it shows - that we're in charge.
- You know what, Doug? If it was your fucking family He's right.
[FUNKY MUSIC.]
We do the show.
All right.
We do the show.
- Uh, everything okay? - Yes.
- Can we go in? - No.
- Well, oh.
- Damn.
Let's look at this as a positive, okay? I-I want to work on Here's Johnny! [BAND PLAYS "JOHNNY'S THEME".]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Whoopee.
What's with all the extra security? Uh, couple of typewriters gone missing.
They're keeping an eye out.
Oh, uh, look, I'm I'll be honest with you, I'm I'm pretty tired of being treated like a sexual object.
[LAUGHTER.]
I-I have a mind, you know? [LAUGHTER.]
Here's an interesting scientific one.
Did you know that hexachlorophene has been banned from the market? And they've been using it in deodorants - [SCATTERED LAUGHTER.]
- For years.
They determined it has hazardous effects because they've been making tests on white mice, with hexachlorophene.
And they would have banned it sooner, but it took three years to teach the mice to spray it under their arms.
[LAUGHTER.]
[JOHNNY CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY.]
Hey.
That was funny.
"Ha-ha-ha.
" [APPLAUSE.]
What's with him? He's having a tough week.
Oh, did his tricycle break? - His brother.
- In Vietnam.
Oh, shit, what happened? - Wait, he died? - Missing.
What do you mean, missing? Children.
[EXHALES.]
Missing how? - Like, captured? - They don't know.
Army guy showed up at his parents' house and said he was missing; that's all I know.
- Fuck.
- Yeah, so maybe you could try being nice to him for a change.
All right.
[JOHNNY TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER.]
Hey.
Cookie? [AUDIENCE APPLAUSE.]
Inconsolable.
[SCOFFS.]
There's probably not anyone in the country who's not familiar with Redd Foxx after only two Did anybody unplug the cart? - [TENSE MUSIC.]
- The cart, hurry up, go.
Unplug the cart.
Go.
Go.
[ELECTRICITY SURGES.]
[LAUGHTER.]
[SIGHS.]
Not the whole thing.
Just [ELECTRICITY SPUTTERS.]
[ELECTRICAL CLANKING.]
God, is it the Third World War and I don't know? [LAUGHTER.]
Come on.
Get out of there.
[MOTOR WHIRRING.]
Mr.
Redd Foxx.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
[BAND PLAYING.]
What's going on? They said you were coming in in a strange way - How are you? - Good, good, pleasure.
Will you? I'll talk to him.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
So, yeah, we're a little worried about you.
Look, I-I know that I've been kind of out of it lately, but it's it's No, I can't even imagine.
My my brother's like, my hero, and if anything ever happened to him Of course.
Which is why We thought it was time that you, um Try something.
Sitting? No, silly.
This.
[PHONE RINGING.]
"Tonight Show.
" Please hold.
[CLICK.]
It's him.
[JOHNNY PICKS UP PHONE RECEIVER.]
Hello, this is Johnny Carson.
No, no-no-no-no-no It will definitely make you less sad.
Okay.
Okay.
Ooh, yeah.
How do you do it? I don't understand how you could just put him through to Johnny like that.
He said he only wanted to talk to Johnny and - if I didn't put him through - Okay, all right.
Listen, I don't think this is our primary concern right now.
It's okay, Roz.
I hate to say it, but now that he's demanding money, that's a whole other thing.
Now it's extortion.
I think we have to call the FBI.
- Ah, Doug, come on.
- The FBI? - You don't want to do that.
- He's right.
So it is written.
So it shall be done.
Well, I think our boy is feeling it.
Let me see your hand for a second.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
Okay, you see that line right there? - Yeah.
- That's your success line.
What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not making this up.
This is a real thing.
And, uh, you have a few detours here but then in the end, great success.
Mine is all What does yours say? Well, it starts out okay, but then, you see right there? Yeah.
That's where it gets all fucked up.
And then afterwards, a little - It's murky.
- Mm.
[GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC.]
You notice any other difference here? My hand is prettier.
Okay.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
No, see, if this looked like that, my life would be a whole lot simpler.
I get it.
- Do ya? - Yeah.
I mean, I'll be honest I always wished I was black.
Wow.
I mean That's got to be the most Beverly Hills bullshit thing you've ever said.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
But it's true.
Why? [SOLEMN MUSIC.]
Hey.
Buddy? How you doing, little brother? - What what are you - Shh, shh.
I'm fine.
I'll be back.
No, don't go.
I promise.
Don't go! I love you! Okay, I think we might be done here.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
Oh, my God.
Did I tell you? The best barbeque potato chips of all time.
And this is the only store in this area you can get them.
What is that? What do they put in these? Yeah, I don't know, it's just the right combination - of good stuff and shit.
- Mm.
You know, it's a very tricky balance to get right.
- Yeah, but they have nailed it.
- I know.
These make me very happy.
Can I share something with you? Okay, uh you know what? I think maybe I gave you the wrong I'm try - Oh, no.
- Well, uh Tell me that's not a tape of your stand-up.
Okay well it's Oh, that's why you came along, - to hustle me.
- No, no, come on, okay To get me to listen to your friggin' stand-up.
No, okay, listen, no.
It's just that you see a lot of comics and you know a lot, and I just I would really value your opinion.
Come on.
Okay, okay, give me.
It'll listen.
Thank you.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
Thank you, okay, uh, just so you know, that's all new stuff.
That's just me.
You know, stream of conscious, right into the tape.
I haven't even done that on stage yet, it's just it's just I think there's an attitude in there, like a socially-conscious voice Okay, you need to just stop talking now.
Holy smokes.
You are not going to believe who I just saw.
Chrissy Ann Aldean! - What? - Who? Chrissy Ann Aldean.
From back home.
I told you about her.
- Oh, the beauty contest chick.
- Mm-hmm.
I saw her drive by.
What would she be doing in LA? Okay, so, sometimes, with pot, you see things that aren't really there.
Mm-mm, no, I swear I saw her.
That was her.
- Okay, who needs her? - Eat more chips.
- Yeah.
- [MUMBLES.]
Mmm.
Giving you a round of applause.
Now, please rest assured the FBI knows how to handle these situations.
Now, the most promising scenario is before the scheduled drop, which we now know to be 1500 hours, or 3:00, we sniff out and preemptively bag this little fucker Pardon my French.
We're all fluent French speakers here.
Towards that, Agent Harris, you had some thoughts on the matter.
Thank you, Agent Coghlan.
In my experience, 90% of the time these things are what we call "inside jobs.
" Meaning what? Are you kidding? Have you never seen a movie? No, I know what he's saying, I'm just I'm asking What are you saying? I'm saying what we might have here is a disgruntled employee or ex-employee or someone new.
Are there any recent hires we should know about? - Not that I can - We've been made aware of a Mr.
A.
Klavin.
- Oh, my God.
- Who the hell is that? - Who? - Andy.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
Oh, for fuck's sake, Andy? No, no, he's a good kid.
He's a screw-up, but you don't have to worry about him.
How long since you hired him? I don't know, what? A couple of weeks? I don't think we ever really hired him, he just kind of showed up one day.
- Mm-hmm.
- No, not in a bad way.
He he Let us conduct our investigation.
We know what we're doing, ma'am.
[DOWNBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
Hey.
What are you doing out here? Hey, no.
Put that away.
Are you nuts? Where did you even get that? - Rasheed.
- What have we created? It's just been a tough week and it really helps.
Just take it easy with that, okay? And you can give that to Rasheed.
- What'd you think? - Honestly, I think he's great and really funny.
- That is neither of those things.
- Oh.
No, he just sounds angry.
He could ratchet that down a bit, a lot, actually, so Do me a favor and let him know? Why don't you let him know? Because I don't really want to.
So, uh, I'll put it on your desk.
Oh, and here.
I don't want you walking in smelling like a freshman dorm room.
[SPRAY HISSING.]
Yeah, that should help.
[LIGHT FUNKY MUSIC.]
[SEEDY MUSIC.]
So this kid, he comes in today, - reeking of marijuana.
- Mmhmm.
Last week there was an incident at a church.
He was circulating currency defaced with the words and I'm quoting here "Fuck Nixon.
" - Hm.
- And then, there's this.
Found it on his desk.
You gotta get angry in this country.
You can't just lie.
It's time to get angry.
The Lord says, reap what you sew.
I say, sew what, motherfucker? It's time to take and take down, by any means necessary.
- [TAPE STOPS.]
- [DOOR OPENS.]
I was, uh, I was just looking for some potato chips.
And I didn't steal any typewriters, if that's what you're thinking.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
It's not him.
[EXHALES.]
Wow.
Sure looks real.
[SOFT LAUGH.]
That's the whole point.
If it didn't, we'd be some kind of assholes, wouldn't we? It'll do the trick.
How do they let you run a fucking network? - Seriously? - Mr.
Carson, to reiterate, there is no need for you to personally be a part of this.
Yeah, seriously, John, why risk it? These gentlemen are certainly capable of Freddie.
I say no more.
Okay, well, I'll drive in Mr.
Carson's car with him.
We have follow cars and cars at each designated contact point and helicopter surveillance overhead.
Are we ready? The big man in? I need him to try on these blazers for me and he like to Yeah, I'm ready, come on.
Okay, good.
Everything's fine.
Everybody carry on.
Perhaps this is a little less urgent.
Okay, let's pull in over here.
And now, we wait.
Well, well.
What a coincidence.
[SOFT CHUCKLE.]
Okay, Mr.
Fuck Nixon, where are we going? - Pretty scary stuff, huh? - This? No.
- Try comedy.
- [LAUGHS.]
Andy? It's Chrissy Ann.
Aldean.
From Valentine.
Um Are you okay? Yeah, I'm Yeah, sorry, it's just, um, what What am I doing out here? Well, I won a beauty contest back home.
I know.
My mom sent me a a clipping.
Oh.
That is so sweet.
Well, anyhoo, on account of that, I got flown out here to meet with a fancy modeling agent.
So it looks like you're not the only Valentine High alum to make it to Hollywood.
That's that's so great.
Good for you.
That is so strange.
I-I thought I saw someone who looked like you yesterday, but Well, it's me.
Wow.
Barbeque potato chip? Oh, mm-mm.
Anyway, I'll be out here until the end of the week.
Maybe we could get together.
Sure.
- I'll call you.
- Okay.
At "The Tonight Show.
" Little Andy Klavin.
Oh.
- [CHIPS CRUNCH.]
- [FUNKY STING.]
[SOFT GIGGLE.]
Fastest sprinter on the Valentine High track team.
Uh, fifth fastest, actually.
Oh.
[GIGGLES.]
[IDLE FUNKY MUSIC.]
It's time.
If I can say, sir, you got some brass balls.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [PATS SHOULDER.]
Whoa, whoa! What is that? Just in case.
[DRAMATIC FUNKY MUSIC.]
[HELICOPTER HOVERING.]
Johnny? Hey.
Is that Johnny Carson? It is, oh, my God.
We have to get his autograph.
Johnny! 11:00, code blue.
Code blue! Johnny, I love your hey oh what are you let go.
We just wanted autographs.
- You're hurting my arm.
- Ma'am, hold still.
Caution, suspects may be armed.
Let go.
Wait, now who's this? Yep, I got eyes on him.
- Gotcha, Klavin, you son of a - There he is! [HELICOPTER HOVERING.]
Coghlan, you owe me five bucks.
Yeah, yeah, get him, get him! Huh? No, no, no, you just went past him! He's getting away! [MUSICAL FLOURISH.]