This World Can't Tear Me Down (2023) s01e05 Episode Script

1
The seafarers are fleeing
Going wherever they please ♪
But they're not leaving here ♪
They're stealing my job, it's a jungle ♪
Crushing my dream
Of opening a minimarket! ♪
A minimarket! ♪
You're still here ♪
You're in an amazing country! ♪
This country is amazing! ♪
Bridges collapsing, boats sinking ♪
Sure, it's all wonderful
But let me get some too! ♪
Rights are dying
Ministers are dancing ♪
Can't you feel
The sea calling you too? ♪
THIS WORLD CAN'T TEAR ME DOWN
["Cumuli" plays]
[lyrics in Italian]
[Zero] I don't think I said
Cesare's name for 20 years.
I didn't even notice
when he first disappeared
because we didn't hang around
with each other any more
until one day, someone,
I think it was Wild Boar, said to me
- Didn't you know he was in rehab?
- What are you on about?
Yeah, my mum knows his mum. She told her.
Sick, Cesare is. Treatment he is getting.
Yeah, I couldn't believe it either.
When someone disappears,
I always think it's to make money or fuck.
And instead rehab!
Who thinks of rehab?
[Zero] Yeah, who thinks of that?
I'm talking about it
as though I'm street-wise,
but heroin zombies weren't my generation.
I'm not that old.
I'm not that young either.
My generation was carefree,
when coke and speed were cheap,
and people went around full of enthusiasm,
bug-eyed and clenching their jaws,
fighting, stabbing,
smashing bottles on their heads
and having heart attacks at 35.
But in those terms,
I knew nothing about heroin.
I mean, I didn't know
where Cesare was exactly,
But I remember when I was a boy
and I saw people talking on the TV
about something bad that had happened
in one of these rehab places.
I can still see
the images of this filthy room,
like something out of a horror movie,
but just a flicker,
because as soon as my mum saw
what I was watching, she turned it off,
because she didn't want me to get scared,
mummy's little sweetheart.
So when I asked her
What was that, Mummy?
she didn't want me to get scared,
but she also had this theory
that you mustn't ever bullshit children.
And so she said
That, my boy, is a place
where they put drug addicts
and they are locked away inside a barrel
and then severely beaten.
Inside a barrel?
Yes, sweetheart, a barrel.
A real one too.
A smelly wooden barrel
that you have to curl up in.
And they keep them there
for hours on end to punish them, got it?
It's brutal! See what humans invent?
What horrible animals!
[Zero] Thanks, parent number one!
My psychologist
got a fancy car out of that. Damn you!
Hey, guys, bloody hell,
I know not all rehabs are like that!
I know there are different approaches
that have saved a bunch of people
without using
the beat-it-out-of-you model, okay?
But this cartoon isn't
The History of Rehabs.
And the things
that traumatised me most as a boy
was that and a bit of Army of Darkness
that I saw by mistake when I was eight.
- [spooky music plays]
- [gasps]
So that's why, when I heard
that Cesare was in a place like that,
I got that feeling
of claustrophobia again.
And I'd like to say
that we made an effort, we wrote to him,
we made out that he'd know
we were waiting for him,
or at least that I was,
'cause I was his friend.
That's bullshit.
Not because we were mean,
but he couldn't have contact
with anyone from outside in there.
Maddalena didn't like talking about it.
And if anyone asked, she just answered
Unwell is he, but treatment he is getting.
[Zero] So it got to a point
where no one asked her any more.
Months went by.
Then years.
FOR SALE
SOLD
And his absence just became normal.
A bit like when you change the furniture
around at home and you get used to it.
[bird screeches]
[Zero] Things like this scare me a lot.
This natural and relentless sea
that floods in and washes everything away,
because I don't know how to stop it.
It scares me that someone who played
such a big part in my life,
who I shared so much with,
can just disappear.
A bit like a comet, right?
One that flew through our lives.
You get used to seeing it.
Then it disappears over the horizon.
The trail stays behind.
You can see it for a bit.
Then that disappears too.
Life goes on as though it never existed.
Our lives, I mean.
No one ever thinks about the comet's life,
about what happens to it
after it passes by.
["Cumuli" plays]
JUNKIES HERE!!
Did you see him when he was hit?
Could you make an identification?
Nah, I didn't get a good look
'cause it was chaos,
but it's obvious it was them.
Didn't he tell you it was them arseholes?
Didn't he tell you it was those bastards?
He was dazed when he got to hospital.
He says he doesn't remember.
They attacked us. We were just
defending ourselves, you know?
They picked on him 'cause he's a big baby.
Those bloody lefties have no honour.
["La voce che ho in corpo"
by El Santo plays]
[Zero] When we left the town hall
after that shitty vote, I was upset,
because I was thinking
My God, what the fuck is going to happen
in five days' time? I already feel
Five days, Calcare,
and you're already worrying about it?
You're ridiculous. Five days?
That's ages!
Did Mazarin not teach you anything?
Five days may never come to pass
Concentrate on the present.
It's like Pompeii.
All those people making long-term plans.
"Let's go to the beach.
Oh, what should we do?"
They were all fucked.
Okay. All right.
But what if it comes though?
What if it comes?
That's something they said in the 1900s.
Keep your head on straight though.
I don't know if you know, but there's
been an anthropological mutation.
Teenagers with much bigger thumbs,
the right to work, instability.
There's no point getting
emotionally invested in something
that lasts longer than a sitcom episode.
You might be wasting
your emotional reserve here.
What did the endocrinologist say in March?
Almost depleted.
So today's list of worries goes over here.
And tomorrow's goes here.
A bit of a flashy trunk that is
just out of the corner of your eye.
And everything for the future
gets dumped in here.
Removal protocol. It all gets thrown in,
from next Wednesday's council meeting,
to melting of the glaciers
and prostate examinations.
See? All disappeared.
[truck beeping]
[marching drum plays]
Now focus on today.
Watch the finale of Better Call Saul
before you see any spoilers.
Bravo! There you go!
Sit on the sofa. Then stick on the box.
Bury yourself in work
and think of fuck-all else.
Hey, maybe even eat tons of crap,
then you won't think about the future
in your glycaemic haze.
What a great life you lead, my friend!
An utter slob!
No one can stop you now.
I know someone who'd like to try,
but sod that.
[suspenseful music plays]
Hey, what the fuck you doing?
Today is judgment day,
and you're here slobbed out on the sofa?
God, what do you mean it's today?
I was drawing the poster for
What poster?
You should've thought about that earlier!
Now you're late
for the Great Battle of Rome's East End.
[thunder crashes]
Hurry up, for crying out loud.
You have to pick Secco up
and go to the preparatory meeting.
They're waiting for you.
I really don't know
why you'd leave it all to the last minute.
It just drives me crazy. I'll go mad.
- [door opens]
- [action music plays]
- [door closes]
- [music stops]
[farting "Für Elise" ringtone plays]
Hello, Zero?
It's Osvaldo from A Random Show.
We met last week. How are you?
Everything all right?
Do you remember you're on the programme
at 4:00 this afternoon?
Don't worry about getting yourself here.
We can send a car.
No, guys! Don't worry.
I'll make my own way there.
It's fine. I'm not an idiot.
I'll ring you when I'm outside.
4:00 on the dot. That's great!
[clicks tongue]
How you gonna be there at four o'clock?
You can't leave the fight at half-time.
Don't worry about it,
I've worked it all out.
The council meeting's at 2:00.
We'll get there beforehand.
And we'll see that it's full of police,
and we'll think
"Well, shiver me timbers. You're defended
by the cops this time!" [chuckles]
[pipe toots]
We'll stay there, make a bit of a scene.
We'll shout, throw something.
We'll be on one side, them on the other.
The chairman will say
We cannot hold the council meeting
in these conditions.
By half three, it'll be over.
I'll leave the car nearby,
dash off, and go on the programme.
It will be perfect, falling in place
like Tetris. Chac chac chac.
What if they use filters?
By filters, he means the planting
of parties in disguise discreetly
in nearby streets in order to surprise
small groups of people
or individuals walking away on their own,
maybe heading unsuspectingly
back to their cars.
Ah, but there's no filter
in the whole wide world
that could ever find me! Yeah!
Soy turista mexicano!
Molto bello aquí.
Me recuerda l'estado de Chihuahua!
[mariachi music plays]
[Zero] So we arrived at a warehouse,
which was like a concentration camp.
There were
all sorts of beasts and creatures inside.
It wasn't exactly what I'd describe
as an elite forces unit.
The neighbourhood dinosaurs were there,
some familiar faces from the area,
others I hadn't seen since
before Coronavirus, like Teapot Friend.
The procedure is always the same,
quite simple.
Well, let's wait for the last few.
We'll make a big group,
and then we'll all go together.
And if we can get there a bit earlier,
we can set up in the best spot.
Let's also check out access to the square
so if anyone wants to come and join us,
they won't end up being prey to the Nazis.
Excuse me, but has anyone checked it out?
Are there police there yet?
I'm thinking it's obvious
the police are clearly gonna be there.
We promoted this disaster.
We literally did the posters.
The Old Bill can't not be there.
What more could we have done?
Send them a letterheaded invite?
I don't know.
Mariangela will be back soon.
She went and did a recce on her moped.
[Zero] You see,
the scout lookout is paramount:
A key position
in the great division of war roles.
Guys, there are no police around.
It's deserted.
I think I saw one DIGOS car.
But they could've just been
two sad gentlemen on their lunch break
listening to Biagio Antonacci
and staring into space.
["Se io, se lei"
by Biagio Antonacci plays]
What do you mean the Old Bill's not there?
I pay my taxes for them to beat me up,
not those Nazis.
Are the heavies there at least?
Are they ugly?
No one's there. It's closed,
and there's no one at the café.
Oh well, so you've no idea how many police
there are gonna be. That sounds perfect.
No evaluation whatsoever,
a bunch of oafs with no clue at all,
a strategy of crossing your fingers
and may God have mercy on us.
I like it.
This sounds to me like
the most beautiful twilight tragedy,
and I'm sure school kids
will study this one day
like the Battle of Thermopylae,
but with serfs instead of King Leonidas.
Hmm.
Okay, guys, I know archery.
I know that during a raging battle,
we all want to be remembered as the hero,
brandishing a sword,
who made his mark in close combat.
But archers are essential.
They decimate the enemy army
from a distance,
They terrorise them
with a raining shower of arrows,
destroying their ranks.
Of course, archers can also grab a stick
and join the warriors,
but it's something more choreographed,
as if to say, "I'm here too!"
But it's the knights
who deliver maximum impact.
I realise some people
might be horrified and think
Come on, it's 2023
and they're still doing that?
What is all this, man,
the ruddy Middle Ages?
[Zero] And the answer is
No, obviously it's not the Middle Ages.
It's an antique metaphor,
because I like Game of Thrones.
And it's more grandiose than saying
we're gonna grab a shopping trolley,
fill it with bottles and stuff to throw,
and we're gonna take it with us.
Like Legolas in The Lord of the Rings,
but less refined.
More like Legolas from ASDA.
[belches]
No, no archers today, I don't think.
What do you mean no archers?
Who's gonna ready the terrain
for the Spartans who need to fight?
All those poor guys
will need support, won't they?
Don't underestimate the role of
Zero, the Spartans
are all in jail after Dicksville.
The whole front line is in jail
or has been reported.
All we have are those here with us today.
[Zero] Right at that moment,
two distinct things happened inside of me.
The first was
the complete and utter replacement
of all the muscles in my lower limbs
with 14 tons of panna cotta,
meaning my legs went
all soft and shaky all of a sudden.
The second was something animal-like,
my primordial reptilian instincts
reawakening at a time of impending danger.
[yawns]
Drowsiness.
Devastating drowsiness.
The type where you can't stop yawning
and you feel like you'll fall asleep
as soon as you sit down
or lean against something.
You're thinking, "What kind of
fucking animal reaction is that?"
An animal should stay alert, right?
Sharpen their senses. But no!
Animals know that in great prairies,
the biggest risk isn't being attacked
by a predator.
It's that others might think
Oh, look, he's shitting himself
that a lion's going to come.
So what the fuck
are you doing in the great prairies?
Go to Villa Torlonia and have
a few drinks, you fucking hipster.
[Zero] Whereas flaunting your drowsiness,
yawning without even putting
your hand in front of your mouth,
expresses your disregard for danger,
and the other animals think
Damn, that wildebeest sure is crazy.
He just doesn't give a shit.
Look, Mario. See what it means
to yawn in the face of death.
[suspenseful music swells]
[lion growls]
[Zero] So this narcolepsy is
the supreme form of defence of my dignity.
What you thinking?
[Zero] That I'm not used to doing
things like this without Sarah.
It's like I'm missing a moral cover
to justify what we're about to do.
What moral cover do you need for
throwing a load of bombs at Nazis, Zero?
That's the only thing in my life
that even Winston Churchill agreed on.
See?
Yeah, on the whole,
I agree with you, yeah?
But it's one thing fighting monsters
with swastikas on their faces.
It's another thing fighting people
we grew up with, Sarah, Cesare
Hey, will you stop defending that asshole?
What are you, his lawyer?
What am I supposed to say?
I don't think he's right.
I just get
that something's clicked inside him,
and it makes me feel
I have no right to judge him.
And that's why I really have no idea
what the fuck I'm gonna say
during my interview on that show today.
Even if we still live half a mile away
from each other,
in some respects,
it feels like four billion light-years.
And that makes me feel like shit.
And what the fuck do I know?
Maybe if we'd led the life he has,
we'd think the same way he does.
You're talking such a load of shit,
you are.
Whatever. Anything that isn't ice cream
is a load of shit to you
Hey, you're whining
because you've hit the big time,
and you need to go around saying
"poor thing" to little shits.
And you're saying this to me?
Speak for yourself
if you need to make up your own shit.
I'm not making any cartoons,
I haven't bought a house
and no one's ever given me
anything for free.
Yes, I know that,
but you grew up in a context
Where did I grow up? I'm an orphan.
I was on the streets from the age of 15.
I've never had a job,
no one to support me, nothing.
Everything I have, I got for myself,
and I've never taken anything from those
who were worse off than me.
I get that you feel guilty,
but do you think Zerocalcare
is only enlightened one
that knows right from wrong?
Hey, Federico, why are you here?
Why aren't you working at the cooperative?
- I took the day off today.
- Why's that?
- Who are you, DIGOS?
- Come on. Tell me why.
'Cause it pisses me off
that these people come here
and spread poison in my community, okay?
[Secco] Daria, why aren't you at work?
I finished at the front desk
this morning at 7:00.
I slept two hours,
but I don't give a shit.
I came here from Albania in 1991,
and then I became Italian
when I got married.
I mean, I wouldn't be here today
if it wasn't for these guys.
Now who the fuck is this?
Do you think people are here
so they can take communion on Sunday
with a clean conscience?
They've all got so much
of their own shit going on
you could write a whole comic
on each of their lives.
But they don't use that as an excuse
to be arseholes
to those who are worse off than they are.
Now excuse me. These bombs
won't prepare themselves, you know.
["Questo mondo non mi renderà cattivo"
plays]
[lyrics in Italian]
I totally get you, Zero.
I felt like utter shit
when I saw Sarah in that video as well.
Yeah, but I'm not so sure
we're doing the right thing.
Why? Do you think it's right
that because of some pathological liars,
this town will be remembered
as the one that sent immigrants packing?
And what about those 30 poor people
that got off that boat, yeah?
They'll think
that we're a bunch of arseholes
who beat them up and throw bombs at them.
I really don't know
how today is gonna pan out,
but when people talk about this,
I wanna be able to say
that there are people here
that kicked those Nazis' arses.
Or at least tried to.
[Zero] That must've been the first time
I'd hugged Teapot Friend.
It's normal to hug someone
when you're about to do something crazy,
absurd even,
where you risk going home
with your head smashed in.
It's normal,
but that's not why I hugged her.
I hugged her because she's a pussy,
for crying out loud!
She's the only one
with a physique worse than mine.
I mean, she's clumsy, slow
and she chain-smokes.
So that makes me think
that if she's there,
then anyone can be
and it means we're doing
a family-friendly riot.
I'm just sad
that Chatcho died ten years ago.
The dog with the wheels, remember?
'Cause if he was there,
we'd be a proper Dream Team!
[crowd cheering]
Hey, guys, let's go!
- Let's go! Come on! Come on!
- [overlapping chatter]
["Safe Haven" by Angelic Upstarts plays]
[Zero] If it had been up to me,
I'd have dragged it out.
But there comes a time you gotta go.
Sneaking in the daylight ♪
Crawling through the night ♪
Why do they always follow ♪
For their ultimate prize? ♪
Did you ever have a mother? ♪
Did you ever have a son? ♪
Would they like to see you ♪
We'll be finished by five, right?
I have to go back to the restaurant.
It had better be, or wife will kill me.
Gotta pick up my little girl from school.
[Zero] There's something else
that comforted me while I was walking.
It's true that Sarah wasn't there,
but we were all
where we were supposed to be.
I don't understand shit about poems,
but there is one that's stuck in my head
since I was a boy, by Calamandrei,
that goes
"On these roads,
should you wish to return,
you will find us
exactly where you left us."
Said like that, it's rhetorical,
but if you take away all the pompous garb,
you're left with just the core.
The essence is these people here.
They've got loads of their own shit
and tons of contradictions,
but they're here when they're needed,
because this is where they need to be.
Even if I get arrested, I can take
responsibility for it with them.
At least in front of the mirror, I mean.
Of course, it's not like being arrested
for getting your dick out
in front of an old folks' home.
That seems like a poor consolation to me.
But whatever makes you feel better.
What can I say?
[man] The hospital called.
He's looking at 20 days of treatment.
Oh, okay, well, that's not too bad.
Yeah, I know, but those 20 days
count as double with that surname.
- He's the son of
- Yeah.
Oh, that's shit!
He's not wrong.
Now there's gonna be shit for everyone.
[door opens]
Did you know that the person you
beat up was the son of someone important?
I don't know what you're talking about.
If you want my advice, young lady,
I would urge you to give us
the name of whoever beat him up.
It's not the spring of silence any more,
but the winter of narcissism.
[sighs] What you don't tell us today,
we'll find out tomorrow on TikTok,
but just with bad grammar.
And there's really no point
in you all ruining your lives.
[inspirational music plays]
JURASSIC HEAR
[Zero] We were better organised
than a synchronised-swimming team.
We were there at half past two on the dot.
GO BACK HOME
NO INVASION
Okay, the Old Bill ain't here,
but neither are the Nazis.
Oh, maybe they're not coming!
Maybe they changed the time and place
and didn't tell us. I don't know.
If they're not here in 15 minutes,
I don't think they'll show up.
[crowd approaching]
[man] Housing rights and workers' rights!
[crowd chanting]
Housing rights and workers' rights!
We don't have our human rights!
Neither will those parasites!
Never live in Chelsea ♪
Or the backyards of the rich ♪
Just working-class mothers ♪
And you torture our kids ♪
Never live in Chelsea ♪
Or the backyards of the rich ♪
Just working-class ♪
[calm rock music plays]