Threesome (2021) s01e05 Episode Script
My Name Is Siri
1
No, no, no.
Hi.
Sorry. My lesson overran.
I missed the train.
Sorry.
Shall we go in, then?
He's been waiting for ages.
Yeah.
-Both here?
-Yeah.
-Please come in.
-Thank you.
Hi. Grab a seat.
So, you're currently renting
on Ashman Street?
Yeah.
And you're looking for a new place
in the same area?
Yeah. Dalston or Hackney.
-Right?
-Yeah.
And preferably
within the same size and price range.
What's the size
of your current place?
370 square feet maybe.
OK. What's your budget?
We're paying 1200 right now.
Wow. That's a fantastic deal
for a studio flat in Dalston.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
OK.
I think this might be something.
16 Remus Road, Hackney Wick.
Studio apartment, 230 square feet,
shared roof terrace
and gym in the basement.
-What's the rent?
plus one month's deposit
and 8% broker's fee.
It's a little bit
above your current budget.
But, you know,
you get a lot for your money.
And the broker's fee,
is that every month
-or just the first month?
-Every month.
But if you sign
for a 12 months lease or longer,
it drops to 5%.
Is there anything else?
Around maybe 1200 or
1400 maybe?
Hey. What's up with you? Hey.
-Stop it.
-Why are you upset?
I'm not upset.
I just think it's annoying.
What do you mean?
I rush home from work
to a meeting you wanted to have
and you're half an hour late.
But the lesson ran over.
It's not my fault.
And I said sorry.
I have to eat something.
Well, what do you want? We're just
going round in circles here.
I don't know.
Shall we just make something at home?
You wanted to eat here.
But not
if you're going to be pissed off.
Yeah. Let's go home.
If we both work full-time all summer
and don't spend any money
we'd be able to rent
a flat like the one Mark showed us
in the autumn.
But then we can't go to Sweden
in the summer.
No. Can I be honest?
I don't see what the problem is
with this flat.
We live in London,
we don't have to share,
and the rent is really fucking good.
OK. But you said yourself
that you think it's a crappy flat.
But I don't really mind, you know.
So, you don't care that there's
damp patches all over the place
and fucking plaster falling
off the ceiling?
Yes, but I don't care
as much as you seem to care.
We're not going to live here forever.
And everything doesn't always
have to be perfect.
I never said it did.
No, but you expect everything to be
exactly the way you want it to be.
And when it isn't
you get majorly stressed out.
Now.
I sometimes wonder if it's worth it.
What? With the flat?
No, just
It just feels so much more difficult.
-What does?
-Well, everything.
Everything? I don't understand.
No. Exactly.
We're here
because you wanted to be here.
But we can move home
if you don't want to be here.
Yeah. But, David, what do you want?
I thought you liked London.
Yeah. London's sick,
but we're here for your studies.
So, it's just because of me?
What's wrong with that?
Nothing. But I'm just sick of
everything being on me.
What's on you?
All the decisions and stuff.
What? We make the decisions together.
But it's always down to me, David.
You said it, that everything's fine,
you just go along with whatever
and then I'm the one
who's difficult and annoying
just because I question things.
You just run away the minute
it feels a tiny bit difficult.
Hey. I can't even have a discussion
with you. Hello?
I'm too much of an idiot
to have a proper discussion with.
But you knew that already.
David.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that.
How did it feel
when you were with her?
Huh?
How did it feel?
What do you mean, "feel?"
How turned on were you
when you were with Camille?
Is this about her?
Can you just answer me?
No. You answer me. Is this about her?
No. Do you know what this is about,
David?
This is exactly
what I was talking about before.
It's about you avoiding things
all the time.
-I don't.
-That's exactly what you do.
You refuse to answer me.
You just flip the conversation.
-I don't.
-Just answer my question.
-I have answered your question.
-No, you haven't.
I've answered your fucking question.
That's right, just leave. Go on.
You're such a fucking coward.
This is exactly
what I was talking about.
-Don't bother answering.
-What do you want me to do?
You want me to rate
how horny I was for Camille?
-Yeah. Rate how good her cunt felt.
-No.
-Why not?
-You sound mental. Just listen.
I could tell you
exactly how great her cunt was.
But you don't dare to
because you're a fucking coward.
I'm not doing it, OK?
I haven't been unfaithful.
You were there too. You were the one
who wanted it. Not me.
Don't you think I saw
how much you got off on her, David?
Huh?
I've never seen you like that before.
-Siri, come on.
-You were like a different person.
And when I woke up
you were holding her
with your cock pressed
against her fucking ass.
What the fuck are you talking about?
It wasn't like that.
Yes, it was. You're such a liar.
-Oh, my How am I supposed to know?
-What?
Huh?! I was asleep.
So?
Why were you holding her while
you were sleeping? What the hell?!
What?! I was asleep.
-I guess I thought
-What? What did you think?
-I thought it was you.
-Me
What?
You thought it was me?
Siri, I was sleeping. Huh?
Huh?
Siri. Hey.
Where are you going?
Hey.
Huh?
You can't tell the difference
between my body and someone else's.
-Of course I can.
-Shut up, David.
-No Siri.
-You fucking shit.
-Hey.
-Hi.
Sorry, I'm really sweaty.
-Yeah.
-I just have to grab some things.
Do you wanna come up for a minute?
-Yeah, sure.
-Cool.
-Did you get your results back yet?
-Hm?
-Your exam.
-Oh. No, not yet.
-So, what do you fancy doing?
-I don't know.
-We could go for a drink or
-OK.
Do you mind if I just
head back to my place first?
I have to drop this stuff
and get a shower.
Yeah. Sure.
Cool.
GOING TO MIRIAM'S. MIGHT BE LATE.
LET'S TALK TOMORROW.
CAN'T TONIGHT.
That one needs
a very specific touch.
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Shit.
This place is amazing.
Yeah. The opera's renting
the whole building.
Guess I got lucky.
There's this pretty chilled
Lebanese spot on the corner.
Do you fancy it?
I don't know.
We could go somewhere else
if you like.
Yeah, um
I think I'm just gonna leave,
actually.
I'm sorry.
What's going on?
I mean, did I do something, or?
I'm with someone.
You're with someone.
I have a boyfriend.
This is what, then?
You're shopping around
behind his back, or?
No.
OK.
I'm sorry. I'm just gonna leave.
My name isn't Camille.
It's Siri.
Your name's Siri?
Are you Swedish?
Yeah.
Are you in law school?
Yes.
You are a fucking weirdo.
Yeah.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Were you asleep?
-Hm.
Where are you?
On my way back from Miriam's.
I'll be home soon.
Yeah. I called you earlier.
I saw. Sorry I didn't I miss it.
I don't want to fight.
I don't want to fight either.
But we can talk about it tomorrow.
I'm too tired right now.
I love you.
I love you too.
Subtiltes: Sophie Atkins
No, no, no.
Hi.
Sorry. My lesson overran.
I missed the train.
Sorry.
Shall we go in, then?
He's been waiting for ages.
Yeah.
-Both here?
-Yeah.
-Please come in.
-Thank you.
Hi. Grab a seat.
So, you're currently renting
on Ashman Street?
Yeah.
And you're looking for a new place
in the same area?
Yeah. Dalston or Hackney.
-Right?
-Yeah.
And preferably
within the same size and price range.
What's the size
of your current place?
370 square feet maybe.
OK. What's your budget?
We're paying 1200 right now.
Wow. That's a fantastic deal
for a studio flat in Dalston.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
OK.
I think this might be something.
16 Remus Road, Hackney Wick.
Studio apartment, 230 square feet,
shared roof terrace
and gym in the basement.
-What's the rent?
plus one month's deposit
and 8% broker's fee.
It's a little bit
above your current budget.
But, you know,
you get a lot for your money.
And the broker's fee,
is that every month
-or just the first month?
-Every month.
But if you sign
for a 12 months lease or longer,
it drops to 5%.
Is there anything else?
Around maybe 1200 or
1400 maybe?
Hey. What's up with you? Hey.
-Stop it.
-Why are you upset?
I'm not upset.
I just think it's annoying.
What do you mean?
I rush home from work
to a meeting you wanted to have
and you're half an hour late.
But the lesson ran over.
It's not my fault.
And I said sorry.
I have to eat something.
Well, what do you want? We're just
going round in circles here.
I don't know.
Shall we just make something at home?
You wanted to eat here.
But not
if you're going to be pissed off.
Yeah. Let's go home.
If we both work full-time all summer
and don't spend any money
we'd be able to rent
a flat like the one Mark showed us
in the autumn.
But then we can't go to Sweden
in the summer.
No. Can I be honest?
I don't see what the problem is
with this flat.
We live in London,
we don't have to share,
and the rent is really fucking good.
OK. But you said yourself
that you think it's a crappy flat.
But I don't really mind, you know.
So, you don't care that there's
damp patches all over the place
and fucking plaster falling
off the ceiling?
Yes, but I don't care
as much as you seem to care.
We're not going to live here forever.
And everything doesn't always
have to be perfect.
I never said it did.
No, but you expect everything to be
exactly the way you want it to be.
And when it isn't
you get majorly stressed out.
Now.
I sometimes wonder if it's worth it.
What? With the flat?
No, just
It just feels so much more difficult.
-What does?
-Well, everything.
Everything? I don't understand.
No. Exactly.
We're here
because you wanted to be here.
But we can move home
if you don't want to be here.
Yeah. But, David, what do you want?
I thought you liked London.
Yeah. London's sick,
but we're here for your studies.
So, it's just because of me?
What's wrong with that?
Nothing. But I'm just sick of
everything being on me.
What's on you?
All the decisions and stuff.
What? We make the decisions together.
But it's always down to me, David.
You said it, that everything's fine,
you just go along with whatever
and then I'm the one
who's difficult and annoying
just because I question things.
You just run away the minute
it feels a tiny bit difficult.
Hey. I can't even have a discussion
with you. Hello?
I'm too much of an idiot
to have a proper discussion with.
But you knew that already.
David.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that.
How did it feel
when you were with her?
Huh?
How did it feel?
What do you mean, "feel?"
How turned on were you
when you were with Camille?
Is this about her?
Can you just answer me?
No. You answer me. Is this about her?
No. Do you know what this is about,
David?
This is exactly
what I was talking about before.
It's about you avoiding things
all the time.
-I don't.
-That's exactly what you do.
You refuse to answer me.
You just flip the conversation.
-I don't.
-Just answer my question.
-I have answered your question.
-No, you haven't.
I've answered your fucking question.
That's right, just leave. Go on.
You're such a fucking coward.
This is exactly
what I was talking about.
-Don't bother answering.
-What do you want me to do?
You want me to rate
how horny I was for Camille?
-Yeah. Rate how good her cunt felt.
-No.
-Why not?
-You sound mental. Just listen.
I could tell you
exactly how great her cunt was.
But you don't dare to
because you're a fucking coward.
I'm not doing it, OK?
I haven't been unfaithful.
You were there too. You were the one
who wanted it. Not me.
Don't you think I saw
how much you got off on her, David?
Huh?
I've never seen you like that before.
-Siri, come on.
-You were like a different person.
And when I woke up
you were holding her
with your cock pressed
against her fucking ass.
What the fuck are you talking about?
It wasn't like that.
Yes, it was. You're such a liar.
-Oh, my How am I supposed to know?
-What?
Huh?! I was asleep.
So?
Why were you holding her while
you were sleeping? What the hell?!
What?! I was asleep.
-I guess I thought
-What? What did you think?
-I thought it was you.
-Me
What?
You thought it was me?
Siri, I was sleeping. Huh?
Huh?
Siri. Hey.
Where are you going?
Hey.
Huh?
You can't tell the difference
between my body and someone else's.
-Of course I can.
-Shut up, David.
-No Siri.
-You fucking shit.
-Hey.
-Hi.
Sorry, I'm really sweaty.
-Yeah.
-I just have to grab some things.
Do you wanna come up for a minute?
-Yeah, sure.
-Cool.
-Did you get your results back yet?
-Hm?
-Your exam.
-Oh. No, not yet.
-So, what do you fancy doing?
-I don't know.
-We could go for a drink or
-OK.
Do you mind if I just
head back to my place first?
I have to drop this stuff
and get a shower.
Yeah. Sure.
Cool.
GOING TO MIRIAM'S. MIGHT BE LATE.
LET'S TALK TOMORROW.
CAN'T TONIGHT.
That one needs
a very specific touch.
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Shit.
This place is amazing.
Yeah. The opera's renting
the whole building.
Guess I got lucky.
There's this pretty chilled
Lebanese spot on the corner.
Do you fancy it?
I don't know.
We could go somewhere else
if you like.
Yeah, um
I think I'm just gonna leave,
actually.
I'm sorry.
What's going on?
I mean, did I do something, or?
I'm with someone.
You're with someone.
I have a boyfriend.
This is what, then?
You're shopping around
behind his back, or?
No.
OK.
I'm sorry. I'm just gonna leave.
My name isn't Camille.
It's Siri.
Your name's Siri?
Are you Swedish?
Yeah.
Are you in law school?
Yes.
You are a fucking weirdo.
Yeah.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Were you asleep?
-Hm.
Where are you?
On my way back from Miriam's.
I'll be home soon.
Yeah. I called you earlier.
I saw. Sorry I didn't I miss it.
I don't want to fight.
I don't want to fight either.
But we can talk about it tomorrow.
I'm too tired right now.
I love you.
I love you too.
Subtiltes: Sophie Atkins