Top Cat (1961) s01e05 Episode Script
The Violin Player
You! You there with the violin! Don't move! Stay where you are.
I'm getting out of here.
Maybe I was playing too loud.
T.
C.
! Help! He's after me! What's with the "help" pitch? You gotta save me, T.
C.
Some guy is after me.
Must be for disturbing the peace.
Come on, let's blow! We'll duck into the park, Benny! He's right behind us.
We'll take one.
The guy behind us is buying.
Hold it.
Driver, hold that bus.
That's great.
Just great.
How am I gonna get to the meeting on time? Taxi, take me to.
Well, that's the breaks.
I'll never make it now.
Hold it, Ralph.
There's something in the street.
Yeah, looks like a body.
Hey, fellow, you all right? What's the matter with him? Is he sick? Search me.
We better take him with us.
How do you feel, Mac? -What street are we passing? -21st Street.
-Now what street are we passing? -14th Street.
14th Street? Stop at the next corner.
Quick.
-You're supposed to be sick! -We make speedy recoveries in my family.
You know, antibiotics, miracle drugs, all that jazz.
Thanks for the lift.
Going up.
Put a little English on it, will you, pal? Call the meeting to order, Chooch.
Your leader is here.
Okay, gentlemen, this is it.
Operation Money is about to begin.
As you can see on this map, I've divided the city into sections.
Each section is full of streets.
The streets are full of buildings, the buildings are full of people and people are full of M-O-N-E-Y, money and you guys are gonna get some of it.
-But, Top Cat, that's against the law.
-Besides that, it's illegal.
Yeah, you can't do that.
What are you, the Supreme Court or a bunch of hungry characters? I'm talking about selling tickets to a block party.
A Bronx fiesta.
We'll rope off the whole block.
There'll be music, dancing, entertaining free lemonade.
Now wait a minute, I said something wrong.
What did I say? -You said free lemonade.
-Yeah, that's what I said wrong.
At 10 cents a glass.
-What if nobody wants to come? -Go wash your mouth out with soap.
Who wouldn't come to a party to aid the needy? That's different.
-Who's the needy, T.
C.
? -We are.
Now, I just had these tickets printed.
Brain, you take 10th over to the river.
Now, Spook, you take 3rd Avenue.
Fancy, take Park up to 59th.
Choo Choo, you take Lexington.
And Benny.
Where's Benny? He said something about going for a music lesson, T.
C.
A music lesson? How's Benny gonna read music? He can't even read English.
Here, Choo Choo, take his tickets and you cover 34th.
Okay, T.
C.
Now remember, knock on every door, and if there's no answer, kick it in.
Now move.
Get going and bring back money.
Let's see now, 300 blocks, five buildings to the block fifty people to the building, we'll make a fortune.
A fortune.
Well, if they sell too many tickets, we'll rope off Central Park! What is that? It's me and my violin, T.
C.
I just took my first lesson.
Listen.
Maybe you can sue the teacher.
Not bad for a beginner, huh, T.
C.
? Talk louder, Benny.
I can still hear the violin.
What would you like to hear me play? How about around the corner and down the sewer? I don't know that one, T.
C.
Can you think of anything else? Yeah, but it's against the law.
You like me to play Pale Hands? My teacher said I had a good ear for music.
The trouble is you're playing the violin with your hands instead of with your ears.
He said I'd go places.
Funny.
But I just thought of a swell place for you to go, Benny.
-Where to, T.
C.
? -Down three blocks and across the street.
There's an alley where the acoustics are perfect.
And besides, I won't be able to hear him.
Thanks, T.
C.
But won't that be too far away for you to hear me? Don't worry, Benny.
You stopped playing five minutes ago but I can still hear you.
Please, coming through.
I have to make with the broom here.
-Well, be my guest.
You new on the job? -My first day.
-How's business? -I'm cleaning up.
Cleaning up! Nothing.
How do you like that, a street cleaner comic cleaning up.
I should be so lucky.
Let me see now.
Three hundred blocks, five buildings to the block.
I guess this is the alley T.
C.
meant.
First I'll tune up.
Hi, Officer Dibble.
-How are the feet holding up? -Fine, thanks.
Did that violin record I ordered come in yet? No, it didn't.
-But how about a nice piano concerto? -No, thanks.
-An oboe obbligato? -No.
-A glockenspiel glissando? -Cut that out.
You know what I like: violin music.
Just violin music.
Sorry, Dib.
All I've got in violin music is this one record that was here when I bought the store.
Who's it by? Ricci? Menuhin? Elman? Kreisler? No.
Some guy named Laszlo Laszlo.
-Never heard of him.
Is he any good? -I don't know.
Why don't you play it and see if you like it? Okay.
I'll give it a whirl.
That music.
Such tone.
Such vibrato! Like an angel playing.
There he is! That little fellow, a genius, another Paganini.
Stop the music! Stop the car already! Stop the car! -How do you like it? -That Laszlo Laszlo's great.
I'll take it.
Now don't forget, if you get another Laszlo Laszlo record put it away for me.
Sorry, but that's the only record he made before he disappeared.
And no one's heard from him since.
That's too bad.
So long.
I want to hurry home and listen to Laszlo Laszlo again.
So long, Officer Dibble.
You! You there with the violin! Don't move! Stay where you are! He looks sore.
I'm getting out of here.
Maybe I was playing too loud.
Wait! You don't understand! T.
C.
! Help! He's after me! What's with the "help" pitch? It's you.
I know I should have never let you play in public.
You gotta save me, T.
C.
Some guy is after me.
Must be for disturbing the peace.
Come on, let's blow! Wait! I want you! Follow your leader, Benny! No one's behind us, Benny.
I think we shook him.
We lost him, all right.
There you are.
-At last, I caught up with you.
-Not now, sir.
Please, it's his feeding time.
Bye! Wait! Come back! We'll duck into the park, Benny! He's right behind us.
You there! You, sir! We'll take one.
The guy behind us is buying.
Hold it, Mac.
That will be $1.
Hang on, Benny.
We're blasting off.
Come back.
Come back with the genius! I'll head them off at the pass.
-I don't see him, T.
C.
-Good.
We'll detour and exit at 54th Street.
You sure must have gotten that guy sore, Benny.
But I was only playing my violin.
You'd be better off playing with firecrackers.
It's him ! Stop! Halt! He must have taken the shortcut.
Welcome aboard.
It is most urgent I speak with the violin player.
Okay, you win, pal.
Let's have it.
What's the complaint? Just what is it about Benny's playing that bugs you? As if I didn't know.
Benny should not play anymore in the alleys.
-No kidding! -That's right.
I want the whole world to hear the greatest violinist since Paganini! This Benny genius.
-Benny, a genius? Are you sure? -That's right, Gutenbad knows best.
-That's right, but what's a Gutenbad? -I am Gutenbad.
Now I know who he is.
He's the head man at Carnegie Hall.
That's nice.
Nice meeting you, Gutenbad.
Now if you'll just excuse me -I gotta get down to.
Carnegie Hall? You? -Absolutely.
I am the musical director in charge of all the concerts.
Maybe I can get you in free, T.
C.
, so you won't have to buy a ticket.
Buy a ticket? You mean people will be paying money? -Of course.
-Yeah? How much are you paying us, Gutenbad? Carnegie Hall will pay as much as anybody.
-Higher even? -I don't know.
We've already refused a bid from The Royal Opera House in Milan.
They offered a mere $10,000.
-$10,000? -It's only a small place.
We need a larger stage, more seats.
Please, Carnegie Hall will put in more seats.
The offer from Colosseum in Rome looks best even though it only seats 80,000, and it has no roof.
Eighty thousand seats? Please, we must have him.
-They offered 50,000-- -Seats? No, dollars.
After all, what is money where a great genius is concerned.
-Like, what was that fellow's name? -Paganini.
Yeah, Pagarini.
Yeah, that's the guy.
So if we don't get our price, we just don't work, that's all.
You know what I mean? I gotta protect my boy.
Gosh, T.
C.
, does that mean I got to go back to playing in the alley? You were playing your violin in an alley? Did you hear that, Gutenbad? That's where I heard him.
I pay anything you say.
I pay $50,000.
Benny, I can see it's foolish of me to hold your great talent back any longer.
-What was the name of your outfit again? -Carnegie Hall! Okay, Gutie, you talked me into it.
I'll let you have my boy as soon as we sign the papers.
Good! Wonderful! I come back with the contract and the board of directors.
-The what? -Naturally, they want to hear Benny play before signing the contract.
They are not artists like we are.
It's business with them.
They want to see and hear what they're getting for $50,000.
I go now, little genius.
-Do me a favor, please.
-Sure, Mr.
Gutenbad.
Like what? Don't sign with anybody else.
Remember, for you, Gutenbad is best.
-I just can't believe it.
-Believe what, T.
C.
? That I ain't dreaming.
Pagarini! $50,000 for a performance! -Do me a favor, will you, Benny? -Sure, T.
C.
, what? Play something for me, you know, like you were playing when Gutenbad found you.
I know you had talent, Benny.
I just didn't know you were that good.
Okay, T.
C.
But I got to fix this broken string first.
Take your time, Mr.
Genius Pagarini.
Maybe I was wrong.
But so wrong? $50,000 waiting, and I got him playing in an alley.
Oh, boy.
Home at last.
Now to hear Laszlo Laszlo again.
Can that be Benny? Gee, that little guy's great.
Let's face it, this Laszlo Laszlo really has it.
No.
What a time for the phone! Benny, you're great.
What happened? What did you stop for? I'm sorry, T.
C.
My string broke again.
"Sorry," he says.
My modest one.
A genius right under my nose, all these years, and I never saw it.
-Come on, let's go.
-Where to, T.
C.
? To the store.
I'm buying you a pair of gloves.
Gloves? We've got a pair of million-dollar hands here.
We got to protect them, Pagarini.
All right, you cats, now pay attention.
We are auditioning for some big shots from Carnegie Hall.
And l-- -An audition? What about the block party? -The block party can wait.
But we sold all the tickets.
I guess we got to give them the money back? Are you new here? "Giving money back," are three words we do not allow in this alley.
Now, pay attention.
Right now, due to untiring encouragement and supervision on my part, and a little practice on the part of one of our group, he's considered to be the world's greatest violinist.
That's right, I said, right now he's considered to be the world's greatest violinist.
We heard what he is, T.
C.
You didn't tell us who he is.
It's Benny, Benny the Ball.
Benny? Benny the world's greatest violinist? Are you kidding, T.
C.
baby? Benny can't play the fiddle.
I know.
That's what I thought, too, but Carnegie Hall thinks different.
Carnegie Hall? That's right.
And you can't fight Carnegie Hall.
I think we ought to have a meeting to choose a new leader, fellas.
T.
C.
's flipped.
Okay, but remember, no complaints later when Benny and me split the $50,000.
You mean, they're paying Benny, like, $50,000 to play the fiddle? That's right.
The head man from Carnegie Hall swooned when he heard Benny play.
And he's coming back with the entire board of directors, so Benny can audition.
It's merely a formality.
Then we sign the contract.
-For $50,000? -Right.
Now, when Benny finishes playing, you all applaud.
Get it? You start clapping like you really enjoyed it.
-Oh, boy! Great! Encore! -That's enough.
No, not yet, Choo Choo.
I'll tell you when.
Here they come, T.
C.
baby! Okay, now you all know what to do.
-Benny, baby, how are the hands? -I don't know, T.
C.
I can't feel a thing in these boxing gloves.
That's okay.
We're protecting them.
Gentlemen, come right in.
Make yourselves at home.
-Gutie, how are you? -I'm so excited.
I could hardly wait to come back and hear more of that beautiful music.
I've been raving about it so to my board of directors.
They think I'm losing my mind.
But wait until they hear Benny! Yeah, I know what you mean.
The kid's got great talent.
-You got the contract? -Yeah, of course.
Right here in my pocket.
You think I'll let Benny get away from me? Never! -Where is the little genius? -Benny, are you ready? Carnegie Hall is waiting.
Ready, T.
C.
Here I go.
No, wait, Benny.
Hold it.
Don't play yet.
-There you are.
-Thanks, T.
C.
His hands you know, so delicate, we've insured them with Lloyds of London.
$10,000 a finger.
If he gets a hangnail, it's double indemnity.
All right, Benny.
This is the opportunity you've waited for, struggled for.
These gentlemen are your friends, Benny.
Remember, if they like your playing, they'll sign the contract.
$50,000.
So go ahead, Benny.
Play, genius, play, and play good.
A-one and a-two! What's this? Stop with the clowning.
Play good! Benny, cut it out! Play good.
You're kicking away a fortune! Stop it! Stop the music! Now wait.
Give him a chance, Mr.
Gutenbad.
His fiddle ain't warmed up yet.
Something is wrong.
Before, he played like an angel.
And now.
Phooey on him ! Let's go, gentlemen.
Gutie, wait! Somebody must have tampered with his violin.
We've been sabotaged.
The Palladium in London, that's what it is.
When they heard we were signing with you.
They got agents everywhere.
I repeat, phooey! They'll stop at nothing.
Wait, Mr.
Gutenbad.
Please.
Benny, play good! You're blowing the whole contract.
Gentlemen, wait, he ain't himself! He's been drugged by that guy Pagarini! That's who! He probably can't stand the idea of another guy getting on top.
Out of the way! He's got his pals here to take care of Benny.
Benny, stop playing! You're killing the whole deal.
Mr.
Gutenbad, please, he's just nervous.
You know how it is.
I'll give you one last chance to reconsider.
Come on, what do you say? I say, drop dead! Wait! That's the music! Yeah.
Stop the music! I mean, don't start the car! Where is he? That little genius! I forget how he likes to make me the jokes.
I knew he could play! Benny! Such tone! Such vibration! But, you are not playing.
I broke a string again.
Too bad.
But I still hear the music.
Where is it? Who's playing? It's coming from Officer Dibble's apartment.
-Up there! -He's the one! He plays so beautiful! -I must find him ! -No! Not Dibble! Where is he? What do you mean breaking down the door? -Who are you? What's going on? -That music! Who's playing that violin? -I must find him ! -Hold it! That's only a record I'm playing.
"Laszlo Laszlo.
" So he's the one I've been looking for! -What do you want him for? -He's the world's greatest violinist.
I want him to play at Carnegie Hall.
I will pay him $10,000.
Even $10,000's better than nothing.
Where can I find this Laszlo Laszlo? I don't know.
He disappeared after he made this record.
-And nobody's seen or heard of him since.
-But he must be someplace.
And I, Gutenbad, will find him ! So long, pal, and good luck.
Okay, men, you know the setup.
We're dropping Operation Benny in favor of Operation Laszlo Laszlo.
If we find him before Gutenbad does, it'll be worth $10,000 to us.
I want you guys to spread out and mingle with the neighborhood.
Mingle.
Knock on doors and ask for Laszlo.
Now, hurry.
Get going and bring back Laszlo Laszlo.
Excuse, please.
May I say something? You again.
Can't you see I'm busy, boy? All right, remember, gang.
Be on the lookout for good violin music.
Okay, will you leave a little dust? We like it that way.
-Excuse, please.
-Now don't tell me.
I know, you're cleaning up.
I heard you say something about violin music.
You're very funny.
First, he's trying out for comedy and now violin music.
-Carnegie Hall, I suppose? -I thought, perhaps I could help.
You got a good broom there, and you're good with it.
Stick to that, we'll manage.
Come on, Benny, we gotta knock on doors.
Wait a minute, I don't want to see that again.
Okay, Benny, let's go.
The violin.
They threw it away.
We'll start with the building across the street.
Come on, Benny.
We got the light.
If we find that Laszlo Laszlo, we'll raise the price to $15,000.
Oh, boy, that music again.
I wish Dibble would knock it off with that record.
It isn't Dibble's record.
It's the street cleaner.
He's playing my violin.
The street cleaner? I thought I'd told him to stick to his broom.
The street cleaner! Come on, Benny, let's get him.
For all we know he could be-- Stop the music! I mean, stop the car! It's that street cleaner! He's the one! My genius! At last I found him.
Come on, Benny, let's go, that street cleaner must be Laszlo Laszlo! The light.
What a time for the light! The street cleaner's talking to Mr.
Gutenbad, T.
C.
We saw him first! Don't sign, Laszlo, baby.
Don't sign! We'll sue! We'll take this to the highest court! What's with this light? Come on, change.
Come on, Benny! We got the light.
Hold it! Don't go! Wait, Gutenbad! Laszlo, wait! We've been robbed! I'm sick! Here he was right under my nose.
"I'm cleaning up," he says.
A real comic.
"Can I help you with the violin music?" he says.
"No, thanks, we can manage.
Stick to your broom," I say.
"I don't think Carnegie Hall is ready for you, yet.
" I blew it.
$10,000 waiting and I blew it.
I blew it.
Wait a minute.
Benny? Is that you playing? You sound just like Boraminivich.
He makes a fortune with harmonicas.
Wait, what did I say? A fortune.
Boraminivich.
Are you sure it's you playing that thing? There isn't a record someplace? It's me all right, T.
C.
I've been playing the harmonica all my life.
-Why? Do you like it? -Like it? It's great.
We'll clean up! Taxi! Play, Benny, play.
Maybe we can still catch Gutenbad.
Taxi! We'll make records.
Maybe you can get your own TV program.
Taxi! Personal appearances.
Concerts.
Guest shots.
Keep playing, Benny.
Don't lose it.
Taxi!
I'm getting out of here.
Maybe I was playing too loud.
T.
C.
! Help! He's after me! What's with the "help" pitch? You gotta save me, T.
C.
Some guy is after me.
Must be for disturbing the peace.
Come on, let's blow! We'll duck into the park, Benny! He's right behind us.
We'll take one.
The guy behind us is buying.
Hold it.
Driver, hold that bus.
That's great.
Just great.
How am I gonna get to the meeting on time? Taxi, take me to.
Well, that's the breaks.
I'll never make it now.
Hold it, Ralph.
There's something in the street.
Yeah, looks like a body.
Hey, fellow, you all right? What's the matter with him? Is he sick? Search me.
We better take him with us.
How do you feel, Mac? -What street are we passing? -21st Street.
-Now what street are we passing? -14th Street.
14th Street? Stop at the next corner.
Quick.
-You're supposed to be sick! -We make speedy recoveries in my family.
You know, antibiotics, miracle drugs, all that jazz.
Thanks for the lift.
Going up.
Put a little English on it, will you, pal? Call the meeting to order, Chooch.
Your leader is here.
Okay, gentlemen, this is it.
Operation Money is about to begin.
As you can see on this map, I've divided the city into sections.
Each section is full of streets.
The streets are full of buildings, the buildings are full of people and people are full of M-O-N-E-Y, money and you guys are gonna get some of it.
-But, Top Cat, that's against the law.
-Besides that, it's illegal.
Yeah, you can't do that.
What are you, the Supreme Court or a bunch of hungry characters? I'm talking about selling tickets to a block party.
A Bronx fiesta.
We'll rope off the whole block.
There'll be music, dancing, entertaining free lemonade.
Now wait a minute, I said something wrong.
What did I say? -You said free lemonade.
-Yeah, that's what I said wrong.
At 10 cents a glass.
-What if nobody wants to come? -Go wash your mouth out with soap.
Who wouldn't come to a party to aid the needy? That's different.
-Who's the needy, T.
C.
? -We are.
Now, I just had these tickets printed.
Brain, you take 10th over to the river.
Now, Spook, you take 3rd Avenue.
Fancy, take Park up to 59th.
Choo Choo, you take Lexington.
And Benny.
Where's Benny? He said something about going for a music lesson, T.
C.
A music lesson? How's Benny gonna read music? He can't even read English.
Here, Choo Choo, take his tickets and you cover 34th.
Okay, T.
C.
Now remember, knock on every door, and if there's no answer, kick it in.
Now move.
Get going and bring back money.
Let's see now, 300 blocks, five buildings to the block fifty people to the building, we'll make a fortune.
A fortune.
Well, if they sell too many tickets, we'll rope off Central Park! What is that? It's me and my violin, T.
C.
I just took my first lesson.
Listen.
Maybe you can sue the teacher.
Not bad for a beginner, huh, T.
C.
? Talk louder, Benny.
I can still hear the violin.
What would you like to hear me play? How about around the corner and down the sewer? I don't know that one, T.
C.
Can you think of anything else? Yeah, but it's against the law.
You like me to play Pale Hands? My teacher said I had a good ear for music.
The trouble is you're playing the violin with your hands instead of with your ears.
He said I'd go places.
Funny.
But I just thought of a swell place for you to go, Benny.
-Where to, T.
C.
? -Down three blocks and across the street.
There's an alley where the acoustics are perfect.
And besides, I won't be able to hear him.
Thanks, T.
C.
But won't that be too far away for you to hear me? Don't worry, Benny.
You stopped playing five minutes ago but I can still hear you.
Please, coming through.
I have to make with the broom here.
-Well, be my guest.
You new on the job? -My first day.
-How's business? -I'm cleaning up.
Cleaning up! Nothing.
How do you like that, a street cleaner comic cleaning up.
I should be so lucky.
Let me see now.
Three hundred blocks, five buildings to the block.
I guess this is the alley T.
C.
meant.
First I'll tune up.
Hi, Officer Dibble.
-How are the feet holding up? -Fine, thanks.
Did that violin record I ordered come in yet? No, it didn't.
-But how about a nice piano concerto? -No, thanks.
-An oboe obbligato? -No.
-A glockenspiel glissando? -Cut that out.
You know what I like: violin music.
Just violin music.
Sorry, Dib.
All I've got in violin music is this one record that was here when I bought the store.
Who's it by? Ricci? Menuhin? Elman? Kreisler? No.
Some guy named Laszlo Laszlo.
-Never heard of him.
Is he any good? -I don't know.
Why don't you play it and see if you like it? Okay.
I'll give it a whirl.
That music.
Such tone.
Such vibrato! Like an angel playing.
There he is! That little fellow, a genius, another Paganini.
Stop the music! Stop the car already! Stop the car! -How do you like it? -That Laszlo Laszlo's great.
I'll take it.
Now don't forget, if you get another Laszlo Laszlo record put it away for me.
Sorry, but that's the only record he made before he disappeared.
And no one's heard from him since.
That's too bad.
So long.
I want to hurry home and listen to Laszlo Laszlo again.
So long, Officer Dibble.
You! You there with the violin! Don't move! Stay where you are! He looks sore.
I'm getting out of here.
Maybe I was playing too loud.
Wait! You don't understand! T.
C.
! Help! He's after me! What's with the "help" pitch? It's you.
I know I should have never let you play in public.
You gotta save me, T.
C.
Some guy is after me.
Must be for disturbing the peace.
Come on, let's blow! Wait! I want you! Follow your leader, Benny! No one's behind us, Benny.
I think we shook him.
We lost him, all right.
There you are.
-At last, I caught up with you.
-Not now, sir.
Please, it's his feeding time.
Bye! Wait! Come back! We'll duck into the park, Benny! He's right behind us.
You there! You, sir! We'll take one.
The guy behind us is buying.
Hold it, Mac.
That will be $1.
Hang on, Benny.
We're blasting off.
Come back.
Come back with the genius! I'll head them off at the pass.
-I don't see him, T.
C.
-Good.
We'll detour and exit at 54th Street.
You sure must have gotten that guy sore, Benny.
But I was only playing my violin.
You'd be better off playing with firecrackers.
It's him ! Stop! Halt! He must have taken the shortcut.
Welcome aboard.
It is most urgent I speak with the violin player.
Okay, you win, pal.
Let's have it.
What's the complaint? Just what is it about Benny's playing that bugs you? As if I didn't know.
Benny should not play anymore in the alleys.
-No kidding! -That's right.
I want the whole world to hear the greatest violinist since Paganini! This Benny genius.
-Benny, a genius? Are you sure? -That's right, Gutenbad knows best.
-That's right, but what's a Gutenbad? -I am Gutenbad.
Now I know who he is.
He's the head man at Carnegie Hall.
That's nice.
Nice meeting you, Gutenbad.
Now if you'll just excuse me -I gotta get down to.
Carnegie Hall? You? -Absolutely.
I am the musical director in charge of all the concerts.
Maybe I can get you in free, T.
C.
, so you won't have to buy a ticket.
Buy a ticket? You mean people will be paying money? -Of course.
-Yeah? How much are you paying us, Gutenbad? Carnegie Hall will pay as much as anybody.
-Higher even? -I don't know.
We've already refused a bid from The Royal Opera House in Milan.
They offered a mere $10,000.
-$10,000? -It's only a small place.
We need a larger stage, more seats.
Please, Carnegie Hall will put in more seats.
The offer from Colosseum in Rome looks best even though it only seats 80,000, and it has no roof.
Eighty thousand seats? Please, we must have him.
-They offered 50,000-- -Seats? No, dollars.
After all, what is money where a great genius is concerned.
-Like, what was that fellow's name? -Paganini.
Yeah, Pagarini.
Yeah, that's the guy.
So if we don't get our price, we just don't work, that's all.
You know what I mean? I gotta protect my boy.
Gosh, T.
C.
, does that mean I got to go back to playing in the alley? You were playing your violin in an alley? Did you hear that, Gutenbad? That's where I heard him.
I pay anything you say.
I pay $50,000.
Benny, I can see it's foolish of me to hold your great talent back any longer.
-What was the name of your outfit again? -Carnegie Hall! Okay, Gutie, you talked me into it.
I'll let you have my boy as soon as we sign the papers.
Good! Wonderful! I come back with the contract and the board of directors.
-The what? -Naturally, they want to hear Benny play before signing the contract.
They are not artists like we are.
It's business with them.
They want to see and hear what they're getting for $50,000.
I go now, little genius.
-Do me a favor, please.
-Sure, Mr.
Gutenbad.
Like what? Don't sign with anybody else.
Remember, for you, Gutenbad is best.
-I just can't believe it.
-Believe what, T.
C.
? That I ain't dreaming.
Pagarini! $50,000 for a performance! -Do me a favor, will you, Benny? -Sure, T.
C.
, what? Play something for me, you know, like you were playing when Gutenbad found you.
I know you had talent, Benny.
I just didn't know you were that good.
Okay, T.
C.
But I got to fix this broken string first.
Take your time, Mr.
Genius Pagarini.
Maybe I was wrong.
But so wrong? $50,000 waiting, and I got him playing in an alley.
Oh, boy.
Home at last.
Now to hear Laszlo Laszlo again.
Can that be Benny? Gee, that little guy's great.
Let's face it, this Laszlo Laszlo really has it.
No.
What a time for the phone! Benny, you're great.
What happened? What did you stop for? I'm sorry, T.
C.
My string broke again.
"Sorry," he says.
My modest one.
A genius right under my nose, all these years, and I never saw it.
-Come on, let's go.
-Where to, T.
C.
? To the store.
I'm buying you a pair of gloves.
Gloves? We've got a pair of million-dollar hands here.
We got to protect them, Pagarini.
All right, you cats, now pay attention.
We are auditioning for some big shots from Carnegie Hall.
And l-- -An audition? What about the block party? -The block party can wait.
But we sold all the tickets.
I guess we got to give them the money back? Are you new here? "Giving money back," are three words we do not allow in this alley.
Now, pay attention.
Right now, due to untiring encouragement and supervision on my part, and a little practice on the part of one of our group, he's considered to be the world's greatest violinist.
That's right, I said, right now he's considered to be the world's greatest violinist.
We heard what he is, T.
C.
You didn't tell us who he is.
It's Benny, Benny the Ball.
Benny? Benny the world's greatest violinist? Are you kidding, T.
C.
baby? Benny can't play the fiddle.
I know.
That's what I thought, too, but Carnegie Hall thinks different.
Carnegie Hall? That's right.
And you can't fight Carnegie Hall.
I think we ought to have a meeting to choose a new leader, fellas.
T.
C.
's flipped.
Okay, but remember, no complaints later when Benny and me split the $50,000.
You mean, they're paying Benny, like, $50,000 to play the fiddle? That's right.
The head man from Carnegie Hall swooned when he heard Benny play.
And he's coming back with the entire board of directors, so Benny can audition.
It's merely a formality.
Then we sign the contract.
-For $50,000? -Right.
Now, when Benny finishes playing, you all applaud.
Get it? You start clapping like you really enjoyed it.
-Oh, boy! Great! Encore! -That's enough.
No, not yet, Choo Choo.
I'll tell you when.
Here they come, T.
C.
baby! Okay, now you all know what to do.
-Benny, baby, how are the hands? -I don't know, T.
C.
I can't feel a thing in these boxing gloves.
That's okay.
We're protecting them.
Gentlemen, come right in.
Make yourselves at home.
-Gutie, how are you? -I'm so excited.
I could hardly wait to come back and hear more of that beautiful music.
I've been raving about it so to my board of directors.
They think I'm losing my mind.
But wait until they hear Benny! Yeah, I know what you mean.
The kid's got great talent.
-You got the contract? -Yeah, of course.
Right here in my pocket.
You think I'll let Benny get away from me? Never! -Where is the little genius? -Benny, are you ready? Carnegie Hall is waiting.
Ready, T.
C.
Here I go.
No, wait, Benny.
Hold it.
Don't play yet.
-There you are.
-Thanks, T.
C.
His hands you know, so delicate, we've insured them with Lloyds of London.
$10,000 a finger.
If he gets a hangnail, it's double indemnity.
All right, Benny.
This is the opportunity you've waited for, struggled for.
These gentlemen are your friends, Benny.
Remember, if they like your playing, they'll sign the contract.
$50,000.
So go ahead, Benny.
Play, genius, play, and play good.
A-one and a-two! What's this? Stop with the clowning.
Play good! Benny, cut it out! Play good.
You're kicking away a fortune! Stop it! Stop the music! Now wait.
Give him a chance, Mr.
Gutenbad.
His fiddle ain't warmed up yet.
Something is wrong.
Before, he played like an angel.
And now.
Phooey on him ! Let's go, gentlemen.
Gutie, wait! Somebody must have tampered with his violin.
We've been sabotaged.
The Palladium in London, that's what it is.
When they heard we were signing with you.
They got agents everywhere.
I repeat, phooey! They'll stop at nothing.
Wait, Mr.
Gutenbad.
Please.
Benny, play good! You're blowing the whole contract.
Gentlemen, wait, he ain't himself! He's been drugged by that guy Pagarini! That's who! He probably can't stand the idea of another guy getting on top.
Out of the way! He's got his pals here to take care of Benny.
Benny, stop playing! You're killing the whole deal.
Mr.
Gutenbad, please, he's just nervous.
You know how it is.
I'll give you one last chance to reconsider.
Come on, what do you say? I say, drop dead! Wait! That's the music! Yeah.
Stop the music! I mean, don't start the car! Where is he? That little genius! I forget how he likes to make me the jokes.
I knew he could play! Benny! Such tone! Such vibration! But, you are not playing.
I broke a string again.
Too bad.
But I still hear the music.
Where is it? Who's playing? It's coming from Officer Dibble's apartment.
-Up there! -He's the one! He plays so beautiful! -I must find him ! -No! Not Dibble! Where is he? What do you mean breaking down the door? -Who are you? What's going on? -That music! Who's playing that violin? -I must find him ! -Hold it! That's only a record I'm playing.
"Laszlo Laszlo.
" So he's the one I've been looking for! -What do you want him for? -He's the world's greatest violinist.
I want him to play at Carnegie Hall.
I will pay him $10,000.
Even $10,000's better than nothing.
Where can I find this Laszlo Laszlo? I don't know.
He disappeared after he made this record.
-And nobody's seen or heard of him since.
-But he must be someplace.
And I, Gutenbad, will find him ! So long, pal, and good luck.
Okay, men, you know the setup.
We're dropping Operation Benny in favor of Operation Laszlo Laszlo.
If we find him before Gutenbad does, it'll be worth $10,000 to us.
I want you guys to spread out and mingle with the neighborhood.
Mingle.
Knock on doors and ask for Laszlo.
Now, hurry.
Get going and bring back Laszlo Laszlo.
Excuse, please.
May I say something? You again.
Can't you see I'm busy, boy? All right, remember, gang.
Be on the lookout for good violin music.
Okay, will you leave a little dust? We like it that way.
-Excuse, please.
-Now don't tell me.
I know, you're cleaning up.
I heard you say something about violin music.
You're very funny.
First, he's trying out for comedy and now violin music.
-Carnegie Hall, I suppose? -I thought, perhaps I could help.
You got a good broom there, and you're good with it.
Stick to that, we'll manage.
Come on, Benny, we gotta knock on doors.
Wait a minute, I don't want to see that again.
Okay, Benny, let's go.
The violin.
They threw it away.
We'll start with the building across the street.
Come on, Benny.
We got the light.
If we find that Laszlo Laszlo, we'll raise the price to $15,000.
Oh, boy, that music again.
I wish Dibble would knock it off with that record.
It isn't Dibble's record.
It's the street cleaner.
He's playing my violin.
The street cleaner? I thought I'd told him to stick to his broom.
The street cleaner! Come on, Benny, let's get him.
For all we know he could be-- Stop the music! I mean, stop the car! It's that street cleaner! He's the one! My genius! At last I found him.
Come on, Benny, let's go, that street cleaner must be Laszlo Laszlo! The light.
What a time for the light! The street cleaner's talking to Mr.
Gutenbad, T.
C.
We saw him first! Don't sign, Laszlo, baby.
Don't sign! We'll sue! We'll take this to the highest court! What's with this light? Come on, change.
Come on, Benny! We got the light.
Hold it! Don't go! Wait, Gutenbad! Laszlo, wait! We've been robbed! I'm sick! Here he was right under my nose.
"I'm cleaning up," he says.
A real comic.
"Can I help you with the violin music?" he says.
"No, thanks, we can manage.
Stick to your broom," I say.
"I don't think Carnegie Hall is ready for you, yet.
" I blew it.
$10,000 waiting and I blew it.
I blew it.
Wait a minute.
Benny? Is that you playing? You sound just like Boraminivich.
He makes a fortune with harmonicas.
Wait, what did I say? A fortune.
Boraminivich.
Are you sure it's you playing that thing? There isn't a record someplace? It's me all right, T.
C.
I've been playing the harmonica all my life.
-Why? Do you like it? -Like it? It's great.
We'll clean up! Taxi! Play, Benny, play.
Maybe we can still catch Gutenbad.
Taxi! We'll make records.
Maybe you can get your own TV program.
Taxi! Personal appearances.
Concerts.
Guest shots.
Keep playing, Benny.
Don't lose it.
Taxi!