Umbre (2014) s01e05 Episode Script

Episode 5

1 Turn up the music a bit will you mate? So we can listen.
Just leave it, took me ages to put him down.
Can you ever not fight me over every fucking thing?! I just wanna listen to some music, is that a capital offence?! I just wanna listen to some music, is that a capital offence?! - I was just saying - What? So what if he wakes up? Can't he just nod off again? He's sleeping on my penny after all! Keep sneering at me like that and there'll be hell to pay! Shadows Episode 5 -What? -I think Pop Puiu's dead.
They said in Biology that people piss their pants when they croak.
They said in Biology that people piss their pants when they croak.
Pop Puiu? Pop Puiu?! - Make like a soda cap and screw off! - Open up! Stop darkening my door like charcoal! Fuck the hell off! - Go inside.
- Can't I just stay? I wasn't asking, I was telling! Go on! Open the door, Pops! Gina dear, you know I've got a deep regard for you Gina dear, you know I've got a deep regard for you Keep your regard, roll it up and shove it so far up that it comes out your lying mouth! Then recycle it and stick it up the Relster's ass too! Better pipe down.
Want to spill your guts to the whole block? It's a right shame, how you kicked him out of the house.
Someone like him comes along once in a lifetime! - Not even, like the eclipse! - Someone like him?! He threw a man off a building, onto the car I was in.
I saw it! - With your own eyes? - Yes, with my own eyes.
- With your own eyes? - Yes, with my own eyes.
If you were in the car when he landed, how did you also see the dunk upstairs? Can you see something different out of each eye, like a chameleon? - How dumb do you think I am? - Not dumb, just clueless.
And way too curious.
He doesn't drink, or stay up gambling, or hang out with floozies.
His only flaw is throwing guys out of windows! And you're perfect? Don't you think I don't know who got him mixed up in this! Don't you think I don't know who got him mixed up in this! Sure, I'm always the villain.
I even hold his schlong in the john.
I'm well aware.
You've known him long before I came along.
Don't you think you two have me duped! - This has nothing to do with me -Stay there till you start to stink! Then go find Relu! You ain't sitting at my table, eating my food again! - I'll just get takeout! - Great! Gorge yourself on E's and get cancer! Morning.
Enjoy your meal! What's your take? - Nice.
- Right? I think so too.
Art! 200 a pop! The asking price was 270, but I brought them down by buying four.
200 a pop! The asking price was 270, but I brought them down by buying four.
- A bit steep.
Go into any wholesale - That's true, but still.
- Are you clued up on art? - Not really.
What are you clued up on then? - My job.
- Which is? I collect.
Debt.
Money.
Let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this.
What do I do about your debt? Do you shake yourself down? - Or do I send others? - What debt, boss? I never took a penny! You didn't bring it in either.
The uncollected money's as good as gone.
So what, should I go after Giani to get the dough? Beats me.
Do you wanna go? This is what we'll do.
- What's his take? - Five percent.
Five percent, perfect.
I've got a guy for you.
Dinu CocoÅ.
Five percent, perfect.
I've got a guy for you.
Dinu CocoÅ.
He's in for 60 grand, and gives me the runaround every time we meet.
Then yesterday, he calls on his own initiative.
Says he'll fork it over today, on his mother.
-Dinu CocoÅ? -The senator from Constanza.
A useless, average shopkeeper.
Forgotten how he got his seat.
So, out of 60 grand, you'd pocket 3, right? OK.
With Giani dead and buried, his money's down the drain.
OK.
With Giani dead and buried, his money's down the drain.
But the doctor's still in play.
He still owes a chunk of change right? So here's what we'll do.
You wave your commission today.
Next time too.
And so on until you're all squared up.
-Fine plan, huh? -Yes, boss.
Careful with CocoÅ.
He runs with the Constanza crew, so use kid gloves.
What's the word on last week's thing, with Tanase? Beats me.
Did you take it up with me? - But Tanase said - Tanase's a shit-spouter.
They should shoot scat porn around him! - Boss, what about the Turks? - I told you I'm not in the damn loop! What you do in your spare time is your business.
Your life.
I don't care, so I stay out of it.
Go on.
All the best.
See ya.
Good day, ma'am.
How do you do Mrs.
Oncescu? -And you are? How did you get in? -I'm close friends with the Relster.
-We go way back.
-Where's Relu? Isn't he here? I thought he'd be home.
Didn't you come in together? So how did you get in? The normal way, through the door.
The kids must've left it open when they left for school.
The kids must've left it open when they left for school.
- So you have kids then.
- Yes.
How long have you known Relu? Donkey's years! Used to fix his teeth, I'm a dentist myself.
But he plays his cards close to his vest, he's a tactful guy.
- Cute kids! Your eldest's how old now? - Not old enough.
-Can I get you a drink? -Sure, a beer's fine if you have any.
-Can I get you a drink? -Sure, a beer's fine if you have any.
- Cheers! - To your health.
Nice-looking, your neck of the woods! D'you know what a square metre goes for? I wouldn't mind staying round here.
D'you know what a square metre goes for? I wouldn't mind staying round here.
- What did you come to see Relu about? - What? Oh, nothing I'd bore you with.
Make an effort.
You've come all this way after all.
He had some money to give me.
Well, I actually meant to ask for a loan.
Relu no longer lives here.
- What? - This isn't Relu's home anymore.
He packed his stuff and took off.
He packed his stuff and took off.
Where to? Call and ask him yourself, what with you being old friends and all.
Here's the deal! Check it out, a pipe burst at Mr.
Savu's! Go back out! - The cops might show up! - Go back out and stay out! - The cops might show up! - Go back out and stay out! I'll be off then.
Tell Relu the Doctor came over to see him about some dough.
Have him call me, so I don't have to get in your hair here again.
Please hold the elevator! Hello.
Senator? Senator CocoÅ? - CocoÅ Dinu.
- "CocoÅ Dinu," like roll call! - Are you here for? - Yes.
I am here for? - If that will be all? - Are rushing out? Yes, to a Senate meeting.
At the Agriculture Commission.
On the former SAPARD funds, if you're familiar.
Yes, of course.
- One more thing, if I can impose.
- I'm in a bit of a hurry I won't be 2 minutes, honest! I'll just pop into the can.
I had ragout this morning and, when nature calls I had ragout this morning and, when nature calls What the hell, just take what you're here for and go! Cheers, bye now! - What about the money?! - What money? 60,000 euro.
For the Captain.
Sir, even with your schooling and rank, it's shameful to rib a guy like that.
It's what you're here for, ain't it? Collect what I owe the Captain?! It's what you're here for, ain't it? Collect what I owe the Captain?! I don't know any captains, Senator.
I came in 'cause, out in the hall, they said I could get brochures here on these agro loans.
From the EU, get it? I wanna go into mushroom farming.
And this plump lady pointed me here.
I even sniggered to myself, "I'm gonna see a nut about a mushroom!" Would've been different with corn! Good bye! I'll pop by again when you're not quite so busy.
I'll pop by again when you're not quite so busy.
Howdy! Just came to refill the tanks.
Out of the way! Hello? What?! Slow down, I didn't catch that What?! Magda! Chuckie! -Where are they? Where are the kids? -At Codrin's.
Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you call me then? It's one thing to know my life with you is a lie.
And to feel disgusted with myself.
- But for you to cause my - Have you gone mad?! If anything happened, what would that cripple do to protect them? He was here, in the house, Relu.
Broke in through the window.
He asked Magda's age, with this evil grin, get it? He asked Magda's age, with this evil grin, get it? Stop.
There, there It's over.
You know what works wonders on tension! - Go fuck yourself.
- I was kidding, cool it.
He won't set foot in here again.
I can guarantee that.
Relu, if you throw this one too out a window It's over.
-What's over? -"Us" is over.
He came to my house.
Where my family is.
My kids.
He came to my house.
Where my family is.
My kids.
Magda? She's fine.
She's with her brother, at a neighbor's.
- How did he even know where you live? - Indeed! The switchboard girls told me this guy came looking for me saying I'd crashed into him.
He gave them my sticker numbers, everything.
Those idiots lapped it up, gave him my home address.
So he could personally get in touch and now, he did.
What's in there, pops? - Nothing.
- So what's making that noise? The tools.
- What tools? - You don't wanna know.
-No tools, man.
-No tools? -How come? -'Cause I promised Gina.
All right, Relster.
You're the boss.
No tools it is.
But, didn't you agree on no tools? - Sorry, can I smoke in here? - Yes, of course.
By all means.
This guy, he'd be wearing long johns, huh? Yes.
It's an opera.
Verdi? Rigoletto? What's he saying? Something important? Of course.
It goes like this: "Woman is fickle/ Like a feather in the wind/ She changes her voice/ And changes her mind.
Like a feather in the wind/ She changes her voice/ And changes her mind.
If you're gonna go all out, wearing tights and makeup like a faggot, not to mention, heehaw like a screwball, I say you could at least sing about something real! For instance? Beats me, sonny! Something major! Something major! -Cancer.
-An opera about cancer?! So love isn't important enough? It is, especially when you're young, with a tent pole in your pants! But if you're gonna sing about crap, show some class, make it heartfelt! Come, baby, your distance hits me hard! Come on baby, drop your guard! Come on, baby, life's knocking at your gates! Come on, babe, let's party with my mates! "Baby, drop your guard" if the poor girl's tied up to a heater, in a ringway motel, sure she's gonna keep her guard up! Let alone the "baby" name! Let alone the "baby" name! She's, what? 16? 14? 13?! A 35-year-old wouldn't be a "baby!" Plus, we're not just talking rape, it's full-on gang bang! "Let's party with my mates!" Not "me and you," but "my mates" too! She clearly isn't into him, so he's smouldering with frustration, see? Till he ends up loathing her! He Stop the car.
- Sorry if I overstepped - Pull over, sonny! - Sorry if I overstepped - Pull over, sonny! Come on, baby, life's knocking at your gates! Come on, babe, let's party with my mates! God, babe, you're hurting me so bad! Why is loving me so hard? Throwing daggers through your magic eyes, Like the bandits who seek my demise! Like the bandits who seek my demise! I'd gladly eat my gun, babe, and so much more to keep you safe! No way! 45! You've only got 35 points there.
Can you get that? You gotta have 45 for the initial meld! No cheating! You gotta have 45 for the initial meld! No cheating! - You lot, home! - Come on in! - No, we've imposed too much already.
- No way, relax.
No worries, they're soft drinks.
- Kids! - Is the quarantine over then? How about you save your cheek for back home? Now! - Bye, Codrin! - Bye, guys! Your DVDs! -If they're R-rated, don't even bother! -No, they're wildlife documentaries.
-If they're R-rated, don't even bother! -No, they're wildlife documentaries.
- Thanks, Codrin! - Mr.
Codrin! Whatever trouble you're in, I can help! -Help me with what? -I don't know.
If you need me to.
If I need you to what? A friend of mine works 3 blocks over.
At the 22nd precinct.
OK, so what? So nothing.
I was just saying, if anything happens at some point So nothing.
I was just saying, if anything happens at some point I saw you and Relu rowed.
And with him moving out, if you need help.
.
You caught that, Relu moving out? Don't be like that.
So I keep tabs on you now? No.
You just happen to see under my roof! - We're neighbors, aren't we? - Really? So all the kids on the block get fancy handshakes and DVDs? Or just those whose moms you wanna get with? Or just those whose moms you wanna get with? On second thought, you and Relu are quite alike.
In thinking I'm a fool.
What's this?! Are we still looking for the doctor or stopping for a bite?! I was hungry, so what?! Pop Puiu! Pop Puiu! - He was spotted at University Square! - Thanks! We're in luck! Easy! Easy! Boss, that stunt you pulled earlier wasn't very nice! If there's no trust among us, who can we trust? So.
I happen to know a miss Adina CocoÅ, a student at Tonitza.
And I happen to know a couple of Moldavians too, who'll fuck her every which way for 300 euro apiece who'll fuck her every which way for 300 euro apiece film it and deliver the tape to your doorstep.
I beg you, don't! I'll give you anything you want! On my life! - Sure about that, boss? - Yes! Why did'ya do it? -I messed up.
-No question about that.
But why? - There's 12,000 in here, plus - Wait! - There's 12,000 in here, plus - Wait! I still don't get the why of it.
'Cause you lent me 28 grand and you're now asking for 60! -It's steep, too steep! -Then you should've gotten a bank loan.
I should've, yes.
Still, I'm a Senator, not your average scumbag, right? No shit! Right you are, Senator! No shit! Right you are, Senator! Baiting me, entrapping ME?! ME?! Goddamn lackey! Catch! You can wrap this up yourself.
I didn't even get to Pop Puiu, what's up? Same old, Tatiana, the daily grind.
You? Me too.
I'll leave you to it.
Go ahead and give yourself a tip! Go ahead and give yourself a tip! Good night, pops! Boss! Check it out! We can come to an arrangement! My hand just might slip, and slit your jugular! Grab us two handles from the 24h shop on the corner.
- Grab what? - Two Vodkas.
- Are we throwing a party now?! - Bingo! - Are we throwing a party now?! - Bingo! Fuck me sideways! What the hell was that, man?! What's this? Blood? That's 12 grand in there.
- And the rest? - The rest I doubt he'll be forking it over.
What happened? Why was the Captain playing dumb when I brought up the Turks? -Wasn't he in on it? -Of course he was.
That's why he's the Captain.
He always lands on his feet.
Then, let's run away.
Between this and my office stash, we're covered for a few years.
No bullshit.
Careful you don't singe yourself with the cigarette - You don't want to? - I can't.
Can't what? I grab 2 tickets, we fly out at dawn, I grab 2 tickets, we fly out at dawn, and just hours later, we're tanning on a beach.
I've got a family.
A wife.
I'm married with kids, two of them.
You never mentioned them before.
It's like the boss said this morning, my spare time's nobody's business.
It's like the boss said this morning, my spare time's nobody's business.
Take care.
End of episode 5
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