What I Like About You (2002) s01e05 Episode Script

Holly, hurry up.
You're gonna be late for school.
[ Holly .]
: Yeah, okay.
I thought I told you -- "When we're out of something, write it do--" Ohhh! What? Your, uh -- your shirt.
What about it? You need one.
It's the style.
It's supposed to be this way.
Well, uh, how 'bout you start a new trend? Throw a big sweater on over that and call it the "I'm not naked" look.
No, starting trends is just too much responsibility.
Like when I came up with that whole "talk to the hand" thing, it got way out of control.
You didn't start that.
Prove it.
Just go put some human-size clothes on please.
Hey, I've got an idea -- why don't I go see if I have something in my Amish drawer? Okay.
Morning.
You ready to go? Give me a sec.
My clothes didn't pass the Val test.
Well, you know, you do have an excellent sense of style.
I mean, look at you.
What are those, like pants? Yeah.
They're back.
Fantastic! Holly! [ Holly .]
: Yeah? Gary's in a hurry.
Hang on.
Can you be home by 7:00? I'm making meat loaf.
I'm supposed to go out tonight.
I'll probably just grab something then.
I love meat loaf.
Where are you going? Who with? Uh, don't know.
Not sure.
Actually, I love any kind of loaf.
Can you be more specific? Well, I love an onion loaf, an olive loaf, turkey loaf Gary, why don't you go wait in the elevator.
I'll be right behind you.
All right.
When you have more definite plans, make sure you leave me a note.
- Okay.
- And take your cellphone.
I will.
What? Nothing.
You just sound like such a mom.
I don't sound like a mom.
Whatever.
Don't give me "whatever.
" I invented "whatever.
" No, you didn't.
Prove it.
I think this speaks for itself.
Whatever.
[ intro to "What I Like About You" plays .]
Hey! Uh-huh What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whisperin' in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true That's what I like about you That's what I like about you That's what I like about you Hey! Here you go.
Mmm, thank you for making me breakfast.
One of the perks of managing a restaurant.
Plus, I had to get rid of those eggs.
Kidding.
Hey, give me a taste.
Hmmso can you believe Holly said that? She looked me right in the face and said, "You are such mom.
" I am so not a mom.
Ooh, careful -- hot.
[ blows .]
You should have seen her this morning.
She wanted to go to school half-naked just because all of her friends do.
If all of her friends wanted to jump off a bridge, I supp -- oh, my God.
I do sound like a mom.
So what if you do? She's your little sister.
You're just looking out for her.
No.
I said, "Jump off a bridge.
" I used to hate hearing that when I was a kid.
I used to hate hearing, "Don't eat anything bigger than your head.
" If I were Holly, I would want me to be more fun.
I'm being some, like, strict parent.
I don't know.
I should be her cool older sister.
- You know what cool older sisters do? - What? Let their boyfriends sleep over at their apartments.
No.
So that's a yes? [ door opens .]
Hey, you're up late.
Oh, hey, I didn't mean to wake you.
I'm just getting to bed right now.
[ bell dings .]
What's that? Um, that's the microwave telling me it's time to get to bed.
It smells like popcorn.
How odd.
Huh nighty-night.
Don't let me chase you off.
If you want to stay up late, it's fine.
You don't mind that I'm up on a school night? No.
Why would I mind? Have you met you? I know I've been keeping you on a pretty short leash, but I want to change that.
Really? - Yeah.
- Huh.
Don't you think I know what it's like to be 16? Oh, I did some pretty crazy stuff in my day.
- You did? - Oh, yeah.
One time I ditched school and drove all the way to Hartford for a Salt-n-Pepa show.
Salt and pepper? It's "Pepa.
" The point is, I want you to start having fun.
So from now on, think of me as your cool older sister.
Okaydoes this mean you're gonna stop checking my toothbrush to see if it's wet? Hey, you only have to brush the ones you want to keep but it's your mouth, and I'm gonna stay out of it.
What are we watching? Oh, I was watching infomercials.
Hairgami.
Ooh! Hey Want to try something good? [ snorts .]
Amateur.
Hey, Val, wake up.
You're gonna be late for work.
What?! Huh? You got a little Oh.
Ooh Why do I feel hung over? You're coming down off the sugar.
Need a fix? What? Nothing.
Is my outfit a problem? No.
No.
Why would it be a problem? It was a problem yesterday.
Yesterday I wasn't this cool.
Okay, well, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then No, no, I am totally comfortable.
Fuzzy slippers are jealous of my comfort.
[ laughs .]
Okay.
If you're sure.
Hey, uh, I have an idea what do you have first period? Uh, Algebra II.
Ooh, Algebra -- "x" plus "y," "Two trains leave the station" nobody uses that stuff in real life.
What if you blew it off? I'll take you to breakfast.
Skip class? Are you serious? Whatever you want.
Okay, sweet.
Let's do it.
Wait a second At this breakfast we're not gonna talk about "becoming a woman" again, are we? Get this -- after she took me to breakfast -- all the bacon I could eat -- she dropped me off at school.
I told her I needed a note, and she signed a piece of paper and said, "make up anything you want.
" - This is Val? - Val.
Your Val? Val! I'm not believing this.
What did you write on the paper? I said I had Clark syndrome.
What -- what's that? I invented it.
And it flares up on Fridays when the weather's nice.
Man, my parents would never let me miss a minute of school.
I mean, just once I would love to not get the perfect attendance award and the ridicule that comes with it.
Gary, perfect attendance is something you should celebrate and -- [ laughs .]
be proud of.
Yeah, that's what it says on the sash.
Hey, Gary, you hungry? - A little bit.
- Eat this! [ explodes .]
Aw, man! I got beat by a girl with Clark syndrome.
Hey, you know this new Val thing won't last.
It's way too good to be true.
I don't know.
She seems way into it.
On the way home, she said "damn.
" What? Twice.
Man, you are living a dream.
I mean, if I was you I'd buy a motorcycle, travel the world, and drink five Cokes a day.
Gary, that's a lot of caffeine.
Yeah.
It was a fool's dream.
No, I got to be honest with you.
I thought I was gonna have a harder time with this -- you know, letting go, giving Holly more freedom.
But it just feels right.
Yeah, kind of like how I felt when I took the lamb off the menu.
People looked at me weird, butI knew.
Communicating with a teenager is not that complicated.
I'd love to share my insights with others.
Maybe I'll write a book.
Hey, look.
Holly left you a note.
Doesn't surprise me at all.
Freedom promotes responsibility.
"Going to party on Long Island.
Be back tomorrow.
" "Back tomorrow"? That's it?! No, no, no.
There's more.
"P.
S.
-- we're out of juice.
" Oh, my God.
What are we gonna do? Do not say, "get more juice.
" Then I got nothing.
What was she thinking?! Who is she with? Where is she going? Who am I calling? Uh, her cellphone? Yes.
Good.
I will call her cellphone and I will suggest in a firm, but cool, way that she get her little miniskirted butt back here.
[ cellphone rings .]
I'd leave this chapter out of your book.
Calm down.
How can I be calm? My 16-year-old sister is at a random party somewhere on Long Island.
I have no way of reaching her.
She's dressed like a Barbie doll -- in clothes that would fit a Barbie doll! Okay, okay, okay.
Let's start with the facts, okay? Here's what we know -- Holly forgot her cellphone and you're out of juice.
How can these clues help us? We've got to go get her.
How? She went to Long Island.
Not short, easy-to-find-people island.
Maybe the address to the party is on her e-mail.
You're gonna read her e-mail? Isn't that kind of an invasion of privacy? Oh, you didn't see her outfit.
I don't think she's very concerned with her privacy.
[ beeps .]
Oh, shoot.
I need her password.
I use your birthday.
April 21st is your password? [ hesitantly .]
Uh-huh.
[ sweetly .]
Oh.
I cannot believe she would do this.
How are we gonna figure out where she is? Would it be cheating if we read the flyer to the party? Give me that! [ gasp .]
This is all the way out in farm country.
Wow.
That's a long drive.
By the time we get back, it'll be really late.
I better crash here.
So that's a yes? Whoo-hoo! Road trip, baby! How great is this?! Whoo! Time to take one for the scrapbook.
What scrapbook? Time to start a scrapbook! Okay! Man, I wish we had better tunes.
The only station we get is some bagpipe festival.
Who cares? Crank it! Okay.
[ march plays .]
[ bagpipes playing .]
[ music stops .]
So, what'd you tell your brother you're using his car for? Oh, to deliver food to old people.
And that's what you told your parents? Oh, no.
They'd never believe that.
They think I'm at a jump-rope marathon for the heart association.
They donated $30.
Gary, look out! There's something in the road! Relax.
It's just an old blanket.
Great.
A flat.
Now what? At least we got the radio.
And now, a selection of your favorite party tunes.
[ laughs .]
From the 17th century.
[ classical music plays .]
We've been traveling for about 30 minutes at an average speed of 60 miles an hour, so if we continue at this rate, and I convert it to metric oh, damn.
You do need this stuff in real life.
Don't worry about it.
We'll find her.
[ sighs .]
This is all my fault.
If I wasn't trying to be so cool, this never would've happened.
Oh, don't blame yourself.
She's just a kid.
This is what kids do.
It's like that time you ran off to Hartford to see Salt-n-Pepa.
I never really did that.
It's just a story I tell people so they'll think I'm hip.
Really? Yeah.
Why? You do realize that in a fake story, you can say anything? Oh, man! I don't believe this! What, no jack? No.
My brother's gonna give everybody gloves for Christmas again.
Can you give me a hand with these lug nuts? Move over.
Let a man take care of it.
[ grunting .]
Gary, move over.
I'm okay.
I scared myself a little bit, but I'm okay.
Do you have any oil or something we can use to loosen them up? Well, let me check.
Oh, whatever.
[ horn honks .]
[ screams .]
This ought to work.
When did Jiffy Pop start making pants? What do you think is going on at the party right now? They're probably listening to music, maybe dancing.
Oh, God.
I hope they're not freak-dancing.
What's freak dancing? You know that thing your mom's poodle does to your leg? Yeah.
It's like that, but with music.
You have nothing to worry about, okay? I've been to a million parties like this when I was Holly's age.
And? And they're always the same.
The girls are hanging out on one side of the room, the guys are hanging out on the other side.
It's pretty boring.
Till some guy named Chad shows up with beer he got with a fake I.
D.
And everyone starts drinking.
The two sides merge.
Chad hits on Holly and tells her he's thinking of becoming a pro tennis player.
She thinks he's cute 'cause he has the kind of hair that looks perfect even when he does nothing to it.
He offers her a beer.
Holly smiles at him.
I'm gonna kill this Chad guy when I get my hands on him! What are you doing? I'm gonna jack up the car.
That's not where it goes.
Didn't you watch the video in Driver's Ed? You know me.
Once the lights go out, so do I.
Give me it.
That just seems wrong.
Seems wrong they gave you a license, but here we are.
Uh, Holly Where's the spare? You just put it down right -- Oh, no! There it goes! Down the embankment! Maybe the fence will stop it.
[ thud .]
And through the fence and over the ditch and into the woods.
I can't believe it rolled like that.
That's kind of its job.
I'll get it.
What? I can't do it.
I'm afraid.
Of what? Hoboes.
Hoboes? Do they even exist? Girl, yeah.
They're making a big comeback.
Gary, why would a hobo do anything to you? Because they've got nothing to lose.
Fine.
I'll go get it, then.
Don't be tempted by their free-spirited lifestyle.
We have to be getting close.
That Chad guy better start running.
Hey, why is my birthday written on your hand? I think the real question is, why is mine not written on yours? You know, you got a lot of guts.
Not everybody would walk down into a nest of hoboes.
I didn't see any down there.
But they saw you.
What's that shiny thing up ahead? Slow down.
It's moving.
II think I'd better keep driving.
I saw something like this on the sci-fi channel once, and it did not end well for the humans.
Just pull over.
Val? Hey! Are you all right? Yeah.
We got a flat tire.
I am so glad to see you.
I'd imagine you are, considering you're stranded out here, dressed like a baked potato.
Are you mad? Damn right, I'm mad.
Uh, Gary, maybe you and I should -- because they -- and the -- [ hisses .]
Do you realize I had no idea where you were? Didn't you see the note? Yeah, I saw the note, and it had absolutely no useful information on it.
Why didn't you take your cellphone? It wouldn't fit in my skirt.
You don't fit in your skirt.
Whatwhat part of you thought it would be okay for you to just leave like that? What about our new arrangement? Did you seriously think you could just stay out all night, and I'd be okay with that? Kindaat the time.
Yeah.
I don't believe that.
I think you knew you were taking advantage of me.
I thought you wanted me to have fun.
Are you having fun? Can we just go home? [ sighs .]
At the risk of being too motherly.
Thank you.
We're good to go.
Come on.
Let's just get out of here.
Hey! Hey! It's locked! Why is it locked? The hoboes! I got the keys! I got the keys! It's got my keys! It's got my keys! It won't stop! I can't hold it! Oh, my brother's gonna kill me! Holly! Holly! [ screams .]
[ screams .]
Let go! [ grunts .]
I'm wearing the wrong shoes for this! Holly Let it go! Let it go! [ breathing heavily .]
Oh, my God.
It's heading down the embankment.
Maybe that fence will stop it.
[ crash .]
Through the fence over the ditch and into the woods.
Oh, that tree will stop it.
[ crash .]
They got a car now.
There's gonna be hoboes dancin' tonight.
Hey.
Why are you reading my math book? Oh, just brushing up on metric conversions.
You never know.
I'm sorry I scared you last night.
It'll never happen again.
It was kind of my fault, too.
I know it's hard to believe, but maybe I was a little too cool.
So maybe it's no one's fault.
No.
It was mostly you.
Look, sit down.
You -- you have to understand something.
You are my responsibility.
I can't just give you total freedom.
Yeah.
Maybe I do need a little supervision.
I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a bit of a loose cannon.
I do whatever pops into my head.
I'm like a monkey.
I'm glad you showed up last night.
You're welcome.
- Holly? - Yeah? You can take off the decoy clothes now.
Decoy clothes? Cute.
How'd you know about decoy clothes? Please.
You're looking at the girl who snuck out to see Salt-n-Pepa.