Wolf Like Me (2022) s01e05 Episode Script
Episode 5
1
I will control the night
If I have a tail
I will control
- Step one.
- Mm-hm.
Cups.
Do you want me to give you a hand? Are you sure? No, no.
I just need a teaspoon.
Aha! Yep.
OK.
Ta da, teaspoon.
Uh A little honey.
Honey.
OK.
Great.
And - Do you like honey? - I do.
OK, tell me when.
Tell me when it's good for you.
- Stop! - OK.
Did you drink tea before coming to Australia? Mmm.
Mmm.
Lisa used to complain that nobody had kettles, back home.
She almost slapped me because I tried to boil water in the microwave.
Is this small talk? Is this what we're supposed to do now? Mmm.
I guess so? I guess.
Are we being stupid? May I? Can I borrow that for one sec? I'm just gonna get the right angle Hmm That's good.
Can you sit up for me a bit, please? Thank you.
I mean, how are we gonna tell Emma? I don't think Emma will have an issue with the two of us being together.
I feel like there's a big problem waiting for us around the corner.
A problem with hair.
Can you move your head a little to the left for me? Too much.
Uh! Perfect.
Just like that.
I don't want her to get hurt.
We won't let that happen.
How do you know that? Sorry.
Gary.
I've never done this before.
I I don't really know what to do.
Can I make a suggestion? What's the harm in letting this take the lead for a bit? - 'Cause I might eat it.
- Mmm.
Why don't we just enjoy each other's company.
If it doesn't work out, at least we gave it a shot.
After all .
.
a wolf needs a pack.
I didn't know you could do this.
Don't give me too much credit yet.
Hang on.
I just need one more second OK.
OK, usually I have more time and more light.
But I hope you like it.
What do you think? - You like it? - Where are my arms? Hidden behind these two giant tits.
Dad still says dumb things sometimes.
But not as much.
It's like she's distracting him.
And you don't like that.
No, it's fun hanging out together.
- How did they meet? - She crashed into our car.
- You were in another crash? - No.
She was the one that hit you both.
But last week, Dad backed into her car, and we drove into an Italian restaurant.
YOUR dad drove into Nonna Loretta's? Yep.
My wife and I tried to eat there the other night.
Why didn't you tell me about the other car accident? Do you feel threatened by Mary? It's perfectly natural to feel as though Mary is intruding on your space.
I myself have a step-child.
And I had to respect Tony's boundaries when I was courting his mother.
It's never an easy dynamic.
But I think, if Mary respects the pre-existing boundaries you've set up with your father, then there .
.
there shouldn't be a problem.
Look at Tony and I.
He and I work together.
And I mean that metaphorically as well as literally.
He has a job here.
It's not working.
What do you mean by that? I mean this.
Well, you need someone to help you, Emma, - and, with your problems - I know.
It's just I don't feel that you're the right person to do that.
I don't feel safe enough to be vulnerable with you.
Can you recommend someone else? Um Yes.
Yes.
Tony, can you bring the Filofax in, please? Don't have the Filofax! Janey came back from the stand Smiling With the writing of Kafka in hand And a bunny in a can Slipping and sliding You feel yourself asking her Why would you want me to try? Squeezing your wrist and she's pulling you closer Down where the devils are dying with laughter Then led to a place where there's no form of pleasure She blows you a kiss from her lips She's your baby She's your baby She's your baby Those below us cannot be renounced 'Cause they're talking And for once I wish they'd shut up their mouths Lock their doors and stay in the house And while you're inside there You might want to question the fact That you're not quite the same And look to the room where she's keeping so quiet A million layers of crust and deposit Blanket the seasons and bury the reasons You told her that this was for good She's your baby She's your baby She's your baby I don't think we can keep this from her any longer.
We tell her before the next full moon.
And we bring her back here.
And if it goes badly and she freaks out, what does that mean for all of us? - We can't think that way.
- We have to.
Things have been been so good.
I don't want this to be the thing that undoes us.
If we keep a secret this big from her, she will never forgive us.
The longer it takes, the harder it's gonna get.
We'll be here with her.
She loves you.
We both do.
Head forward.
- You OK? - Oh, yeah.
I was, um I was worried about the cake.
- I can take it.
- Oh, thanks.
I can't wait to meet your Aunt Sarah.
She's really nice.
Hello, everybody! Hi! Mary! My god! It's so good to finally meet you.
Aw.
Well, we've named her.
Lisa.
You OK with that, Dad? Yes.
Yeah, of course I am.
That's amazing.
- It really suits her.
- It does.
Taco! What the fuck is wrong with you? Swear jar! Well, that was a little unusual.
- Hi, Mary.
This is Olivia.
- Hi.
Come on, let's go.
Let's go in.
Olivia, fist bump.
Boom! Did Dad tell you about the trip? - Trip? - Yeah.
We're going camping.
Next week, for the school holidays.
- Mm-hm.
- Well, this is new.
Especially for someone as outdoorsy as you.
It was her idea.
I know that.
Where are you going? Oh, we're just going to go somewhere we can see the stars.
I could lend you our gear if you want.
- We haven't used it in ages.
- Oh, don't worry, I've got a ton of camping stuff.
- Mary's got everything.
- What am I looking at here? The vegan ones - well you can tell which ones they are that's pretty obvious.
The other ones are artisan sausages from our mate.
He's a chemist.
He makes them on the side.
Hope you don't mind - I'm gonna give the vegan ones a miss.
I'm craving meat at the moment.
You know what, me too.
Emma told us you were vegan.
Oh, I am, I am.
But you better listen to your body.
Baby, can you take her? No, no, no.
You guys eat.
Let me hold her.
- Come on.
- OK.
- Going to Uncle Gary - Oh, this is delicious.
- Thank you.
- Shh, shh.
Ooh, she likes you.
Yeah, that's only 'cause she's full of milk.
You were always so good with babies.
I like the vegan ones.
Mummy, I need to go toilet.
Oh, God.
Timing.
Ray, can you take her? I gotta keep an eye on the steaks.
- I can take her.
- No, Em, it's OK.
No, you really don't want to get involved in this.
It's fine.
Hey, babe, you want to have a hold? Oh, no thanks.
Go on.
She's all sleepy.
No, I don't want to hold the fucking baby.
What's going on? If all this is too much for you, I'm happy I'm late.
I didn't want to tell you that.
- What? - Yeah.
I didn't want to ruin today.
Why would it ruin it? How late? Like, late.
Like, late-late.
- Let's just not talk about it now.
- You brought it up.
But that's because you kept on asking me.
Right.
OK.
Wow, this is a lot to process.
Yeah.
Not now.
'Not now' as in, like, not now at this point in your life? Not now as in not right now, right here, at a fucking barbeque! Why are you so stressed? Because you just don't think anything through! Is it because we haven't told Em about the other thing? - They're the same thing.
- What are you talking about? What if I bring another werewolf into this world? Are you serious? Do I look like I'm joking? We'd love it.
Whatever it is, we would obviously love it.
That's so easy for you to say.
But it's true.
I mean, there would obviously be a lot to take into consideration, a lot to think about.
You're not the one that could eat our baby.
You would never eat our baby.
You wouldn't eat our baby! Why would you eat our baby? I wouldn't eat it as me, but what about when I'm something else? You know how bad I would feel if I ate our child.
I'm late, and I'm already eating artisan sausages made by a fucking pharmacist.
Just because you eat meat at a barbeque doesn't mean you're gonna eat a fucking child.
Think about how much you'd resent me if I did.
You've always wanted a family.
It's something I've always wanted too.
You've already had it.
No.
I haven't.
The second Lisa was diagnosed, it was taken from me.
Don't you think the minute Emma finds out about me this family's gonna be over anyway.
I mean, it's gonna be the thing that just tips us over the edge.
I thought you were the one who believed that the universe throws things at you for a reason.
I wasn't even gonna tell you.
What are you talking about? What does What does that even mean? Wait a sec.
Please, babe, this can't This cannot be over.
This conversation cannot be over.
- We need to think it through - No.
- I can't talk about this now.
- .
.
all of the possibilities here - Not now! - It's not a foregone conclusion Gary, not now.
Fuck! Swear jar! That was a really bad word.
Mummy, $50! Jesus! Did Uncle Gary drop a C-bomb? - Oh, wow.
 That is so impressive! - Look at that! It's all for you.
I don't have a sweet tooth.
Do I? I usually just make them for the nursing home.
That's amazing.
Cherries are in season.
Dad? Dad? He's not gonna jump in again, is he? Sorry.
I was miles away.
Let's dish it out.
- Yum, yes please.
- Here, sweetie.
Thanks Mary.
Yeah, you're nursing, you can have twice the amount.
Oh, thank you.
I know I don't need to tell you this.
The difference is like night and day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did she talk to you about anything recently? No.
But it's a good thing, from what I can see.
Seeing her get this excited about something as simple as going camping It's beautiful.
We've been planning to tell her something on the trip.
What do you mean? Are you getting married? No.
No, no, no.
Nothing like that.
Not that I wouldn't.
Then what? Um It's nothing.
Gary, don't pull one of those faces and overthink things.
I know that's hard for you.
Don't fuck this up.
Swear jar.
Come on, guys.
We gotta get going.
- Bye! - See you, guys.
See you next time, you four.
See you next time, you three! Bye! See you! Bye! Listen, um I would never ask you to do anything you don't want.
I would always protect our baby.
But I wouldn't want to jeopardise what we have.
Or the family we've already become.
I can never understand what your body goes through.
And I never will.
But I do need you to know that I will always be there to support you.
The three of us can be a .
.
pack.
We make a pretty good pack.
Are you OK? Watch out for that step on the way back.
Look at her.
She loves it here.
Do you really think that we should tell her? I mean, she's so happy.
Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There's supposed to be a full moon tomorrow.
Can we stay an extra night? - No, sweetie.
- Why not? Well, um Well, we've gotta get back for something.
Hey, bubs Uh Mary and I have something important to tell you.
Are you breaking up? No.
You've both been really weird.
It's not that.
Then what is it? Mary Um Mary is Pregnant.
We're gonna have a baby.
Forget your perfect offering There is a crack, a crack in everything That's how the light gets in
- Mm-hm.
Cups.
Do you want me to give you a hand? Are you sure? No, no.
I just need a teaspoon.
Aha! Yep.
OK.
Ta da, teaspoon.
Uh A little honey.
Honey.
OK.
Great.
And - Do you like honey? - I do.
OK, tell me when.
Tell me when it's good for you.
- Stop! - OK.
Did you drink tea before coming to Australia? Mmm.
Mmm.
Lisa used to complain that nobody had kettles, back home.
She almost slapped me because I tried to boil water in the microwave.
Is this small talk? Is this what we're supposed to do now? Mmm.
I guess so? I guess.
Are we being stupid? May I? Can I borrow that for one sec? I'm just gonna get the right angle Hmm That's good.
Can you sit up for me a bit, please? Thank you.
I mean, how are we gonna tell Emma? I don't think Emma will have an issue with the two of us being together.
I feel like there's a big problem waiting for us around the corner.
A problem with hair.
Can you move your head a little to the left for me? Too much.
Uh! Perfect.
Just like that.
I don't want her to get hurt.
We won't let that happen.
How do you know that? Sorry.
Gary.
I've never done this before.
I I don't really know what to do.
Can I make a suggestion? What's the harm in letting this take the lead for a bit? - 'Cause I might eat it.
- Mmm.
Why don't we just enjoy each other's company.
If it doesn't work out, at least we gave it a shot.
After all .
.
a wolf needs a pack.
I didn't know you could do this.
Don't give me too much credit yet.
Hang on.
I just need one more second OK.
OK, usually I have more time and more light.
But I hope you like it.
What do you think? - You like it? - Where are my arms? Hidden behind these two giant tits.
Dad still says dumb things sometimes.
But not as much.
It's like she's distracting him.
And you don't like that.
No, it's fun hanging out together.
- How did they meet? - She crashed into our car.
- You were in another crash? - No.
She was the one that hit you both.
But last week, Dad backed into her car, and we drove into an Italian restaurant.
YOUR dad drove into Nonna Loretta's? Yep.
My wife and I tried to eat there the other night.
Why didn't you tell me about the other car accident? Do you feel threatened by Mary? It's perfectly natural to feel as though Mary is intruding on your space.
I myself have a step-child.
And I had to respect Tony's boundaries when I was courting his mother.
It's never an easy dynamic.
But I think, if Mary respects the pre-existing boundaries you've set up with your father, then there .
.
there shouldn't be a problem.
Look at Tony and I.
He and I work together.
And I mean that metaphorically as well as literally.
He has a job here.
It's not working.
What do you mean by that? I mean this.
Well, you need someone to help you, Emma, - and, with your problems - I know.
It's just I don't feel that you're the right person to do that.
I don't feel safe enough to be vulnerable with you.
Can you recommend someone else? Um Yes.
Yes.
Tony, can you bring the Filofax in, please? Don't have the Filofax! Janey came back from the stand Smiling With the writing of Kafka in hand And a bunny in a can Slipping and sliding You feel yourself asking her Why would you want me to try? Squeezing your wrist and she's pulling you closer Down where the devils are dying with laughter Then led to a place where there's no form of pleasure She blows you a kiss from her lips She's your baby She's your baby She's your baby Those below us cannot be renounced 'Cause they're talking And for once I wish they'd shut up their mouths Lock their doors and stay in the house And while you're inside there You might want to question the fact That you're not quite the same And look to the room where she's keeping so quiet A million layers of crust and deposit Blanket the seasons and bury the reasons You told her that this was for good She's your baby She's your baby She's your baby I don't think we can keep this from her any longer.
We tell her before the next full moon.
And we bring her back here.
And if it goes badly and she freaks out, what does that mean for all of us? - We can't think that way.
- We have to.
Things have been been so good.
I don't want this to be the thing that undoes us.
If we keep a secret this big from her, she will never forgive us.
The longer it takes, the harder it's gonna get.
We'll be here with her.
She loves you.
We both do.
Head forward.
- You OK? - Oh, yeah.
I was, um I was worried about the cake.
- I can take it.
- Oh, thanks.
I can't wait to meet your Aunt Sarah.
She's really nice.
Hello, everybody! Hi! Mary! My god! It's so good to finally meet you.
Aw.
Well, we've named her.
Lisa.
You OK with that, Dad? Yes.
Yeah, of course I am.
That's amazing.
- It really suits her.
- It does.
Taco! What the fuck is wrong with you? Swear jar! Well, that was a little unusual.
- Hi, Mary.
This is Olivia.
- Hi.
Come on, let's go.
Let's go in.
Olivia, fist bump.
Boom! Did Dad tell you about the trip? - Trip? - Yeah.
We're going camping.
Next week, for the school holidays.
- Mm-hm.
- Well, this is new.
Especially for someone as outdoorsy as you.
It was her idea.
I know that.
Where are you going? Oh, we're just going to go somewhere we can see the stars.
I could lend you our gear if you want.
- We haven't used it in ages.
- Oh, don't worry, I've got a ton of camping stuff.
- Mary's got everything.
- What am I looking at here? The vegan ones - well you can tell which ones they are that's pretty obvious.
The other ones are artisan sausages from our mate.
He's a chemist.
He makes them on the side.
Hope you don't mind - I'm gonna give the vegan ones a miss.
I'm craving meat at the moment.
You know what, me too.
Emma told us you were vegan.
Oh, I am, I am.
But you better listen to your body.
Baby, can you take her? No, no, no.
You guys eat.
Let me hold her.
- Come on.
- OK.
- Going to Uncle Gary - Oh, this is delicious.
- Thank you.
- Shh, shh.
Ooh, she likes you.
Yeah, that's only 'cause she's full of milk.
You were always so good with babies.
I like the vegan ones.
Mummy, I need to go toilet.
Oh, God.
Timing.
Ray, can you take her? I gotta keep an eye on the steaks.
- I can take her.
- No, Em, it's OK.
No, you really don't want to get involved in this.
It's fine.
Hey, babe, you want to have a hold? Oh, no thanks.
Go on.
She's all sleepy.
No, I don't want to hold the fucking baby.
What's going on? If all this is too much for you, I'm happy I'm late.
I didn't want to tell you that.
- What? - Yeah.
I didn't want to ruin today.
Why would it ruin it? How late? Like, late.
Like, late-late.
- Let's just not talk about it now.
- You brought it up.
But that's because you kept on asking me.
Right.
OK.
Wow, this is a lot to process.
Yeah.
Not now.
'Not now' as in, like, not now at this point in your life? Not now as in not right now, right here, at a fucking barbeque! Why are you so stressed? Because you just don't think anything through! Is it because we haven't told Em about the other thing? - They're the same thing.
- What are you talking about? What if I bring another werewolf into this world? Are you serious? Do I look like I'm joking? We'd love it.
Whatever it is, we would obviously love it.
That's so easy for you to say.
But it's true.
I mean, there would obviously be a lot to take into consideration, a lot to think about.
You're not the one that could eat our baby.
You would never eat our baby.
You wouldn't eat our baby! Why would you eat our baby? I wouldn't eat it as me, but what about when I'm something else? You know how bad I would feel if I ate our child.
I'm late, and I'm already eating artisan sausages made by a fucking pharmacist.
Just because you eat meat at a barbeque doesn't mean you're gonna eat a fucking child.
Think about how much you'd resent me if I did.
You've always wanted a family.
It's something I've always wanted too.
You've already had it.
No.
I haven't.
The second Lisa was diagnosed, it was taken from me.
Don't you think the minute Emma finds out about me this family's gonna be over anyway.
I mean, it's gonna be the thing that just tips us over the edge.
I thought you were the one who believed that the universe throws things at you for a reason.
I wasn't even gonna tell you.
What are you talking about? What does What does that even mean? Wait a sec.
Please, babe, this can't This cannot be over.
This conversation cannot be over.
- We need to think it through - No.
- I can't talk about this now.
- .
.
all of the possibilities here - Not now! - It's not a foregone conclusion Gary, not now.
Fuck! Swear jar! That was a really bad word.
Mummy, $50! Jesus! Did Uncle Gary drop a C-bomb? - Oh, wow.
 That is so impressive! - Look at that! It's all for you.
I don't have a sweet tooth.
Do I? I usually just make them for the nursing home.
That's amazing.
Cherries are in season.
Dad? Dad? He's not gonna jump in again, is he? Sorry.
I was miles away.
Let's dish it out.
- Yum, yes please.
- Here, sweetie.
Thanks Mary.
Yeah, you're nursing, you can have twice the amount.
Oh, thank you.
I know I don't need to tell you this.
The difference is like night and day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did she talk to you about anything recently? No.
But it's a good thing, from what I can see.
Seeing her get this excited about something as simple as going camping It's beautiful.
We've been planning to tell her something on the trip.
What do you mean? Are you getting married? No.
No, no, no.
Nothing like that.
Not that I wouldn't.
Then what? Um It's nothing.
Gary, don't pull one of those faces and overthink things.
I know that's hard for you.
Don't fuck this up.
Swear jar.
Come on, guys.
We gotta get going.
- Bye! - See you, guys.
See you next time, you four.
See you next time, you three! Bye! See you! Bye! Listen, um I would never ask you to do anything you don't want.
I would always protect our baby.
But I wouldn't want to jeopardise what we have.
Or the family we've already become.
I can never understand what your body goes through.
And I never will.
But I do need you to know that I will always be there to support you.
The three of us can be a .
.
pack.
We make a pretty good pack.
Are you OK? Watch out for that step on the way back.
Look at her.
She loves it here.
Do you really think that we should tell her? I mean, she's so happy.
Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There's supposed to be a full moon tomorrow.
Can we stay an extra night? - No, sweetie.
- Why not? Well, um Well, we've gotta get back for something.
Hey, bubs Uh Mary and I have something important to tell you.
Are you breaking up? No.
You've both been really weird.
It's not that.
Then what is it? Mary Um Mary is Pregnant.
We're gonna have a baby.
Forget your perfect offering There is a crack, a crack in everything That's how the light gets in