Working Class (2011) s01e05 Episode Script

Oh, wow, I see you got a friendship request there on Facebook.
I wonder who it is.
Maybe you should just click on it.
Mom, no matter how many times you try, I'm not accepting you as a friend.
Really? I see.
For you I gave up my body, my youth, and because you were two days early, third-row seats to a Bon Jovi concert, but you-- you don't want to be friends with me.
Well, that seems fair.
I just don't want you snooping on me, which I know you will.
Why would I do that? Are you hiding something? Is it drugs? It's drugs, isn't it? I'm not hiding anything.
It's just, you're my mom, and you don't friend your mom.
Dude, your last status update said "Dazed and confused.
" What's up with that? Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You let him be your friend? Yeah, 'cause he's a dude, and we're dudes.
Dude.
Dude.
Fine, whatever.
Hey, Pam, if the dudes have their thing-- maybe we ladies can be Facebook friends.
What Sorry, Mom, that's never going to happen.
Seventeen hours of labor with you, Miss Breech.
Why can't you just make your own friends? I pushed you out once.
I can push you out again.
Mom, I'll always be your friend.
Oh.
And he only took one hour.
Popped out like a tiny gumball, and that is why you get the last pancake.
Mwah.
Sorry, dudes.
♪ Working Class 1x05 ♪ Lunch Lady This is my day This is my life This is my one chance to get it right This is my day Yeah, this is my day Mom, Brianna invited me and Charlotte to sleep over tonight.
Is that okay? Well, Pam, they both have already had you over a few times.
Why don't you have the sleepover at our house.
Um, because it's our house.
Pam, our house is nothing to be ashamed of.
It's not like it's our car, with the Hefty-bag window.
Pam, Pam, your lunch.
Honey, I really think you should invite them over.
You know, in this family we never take without giving back, unless it's restaurant mints or hotel robes.
Sweetie, those girls have been kind enough to invite you into their homes.
The right thing to do is to repay the favor unless they think they're too fancy to sleep here, in which case, maybe they shouldn't be your friends.
It's not just the house.
Oh, right, I get you.
I get you.
You don't want the dudes cramping your style.
No, it's not the dudes.
You hover.
Hover? Pam, I never hover.
You watched me sleep till I was six.
You were a shallow breather.
Fine, I get it.
I get it, I get it.
If you invite them over, I promise you I will not hover.
Okay, I'll ask them.
Ooh, good.
Oh, my gosh, what should we do first, brush each other's hair or have a pillow fight first? Mom! All right, all right, but I know who's hand I'm putting in warm water when she falls asleep.
Hey, Uncle Nick, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.
Oh, no, you can't borrow my truck again, buddy.
No offense, but it took me weeks to get the stink of your cologne out of the vinyl.
Oh.
Oh, it's nothing like that.
We just have this really boring assembly at school today, and I was kind of hoping you could get me out of it.
I have the power to do that? Yeah, Mom put you on my list as guardian.
Wow, she'll put her kids' lives in my hands, but she won't put me on her video rental card.
What's that about? So can you do it? I'm just going to go to Arby's and grab a sandwich with some friends, no big deal.
I don't know, Scott.
Who are these friends? Oh, you know, Jason, Paul, and, uh Alison.
Oh, Alison, huh? She's the one that's been messing with your head? Yeah, totally.
It's like being in Spanish class.
I don't understand a thing.
Look, Scott, you don't have to understand.
You just have to nod.
All right? And that goes for women and Spanish.
You want me to get you out? Done.
Dude.
Dude.
I never thought anything would make me miss "wassup.
" Here, go, my first born.
Prove those learning disabilities specialists wrong.
What about you? Don't you have class today? Oh, no, I'm watching the Blackhawks game here tonight, so I've got to start my pregame ritual, you know? Tape my stick, polish my bobbleheads, wash my lucky game underwear.
You're going to live with me forever, aren't you? What are you doing here? I got bored, so I thought I'd just come by and embarrass you in front of your friends.
How am I doing with that? You forgot your lunch.
Okay, bye, go home.
You're welcome.
I love you, Pam Mitchell.
Don't feel bad about that.
She's at that awkward age-- 11 to 40.
Well, she'll get hers when she opens that lunch and finds out I ate half of it on the way here.
At least she actually talks to you.
I mean, most kids just clam up and then run like hell.
Something I should've done at my weddings, although to be fair, it's hard to run when you're pregnant.
So you're a repeat offender, too, huh? Yeah, yeah.
How many ex-hubbies you got under your garter belt? Two.
You're not even playing Triple-A ball.
Yeah, well, it would've been three, but apparently a marriage performed by the captain of a bowling team doesn't count.
Okay, that's nothing.
I have been divorced so many times, they actually gave me my own parking spot at the courthouse.
Yeah.
That's behind me now, yeah, 'cause I'm living the dream.
I'm Carli Mitchell.
I'm a fellow food slinger over at Parker Foods.
We should get together sometime.
Dorothy Macken, although the kids call me Dorothy Mac and Cheese.
Oh, yes, because they are so clever.
What's that, Pam? Oh, do you need me? Okay, sweetie.
What? No? Oh, okay, I'll be quiet then.
Quiet.
Call me.
Okay, sweetie.
Here are the chips and dip, and I thought that maybe later we could all make s'mores.
No offense, Mom, but there's no "we" tonight.
There's us, and there's you, so if you're going to make s'mores, just leave them outside my door.
Oh, okay.
Oh, and do you want me to take my shoes off so they don't hear me coming? Oh, that would be great.
Did I not say that sarcastically? Because I meant to.
And is it okay if I hide the hand towels in the bathroom? What is wrong with our hand towels? They say "Ramada" on them.
Just tell them it's my maiden name.
Okay, everyone just be cool.
Okay, Pam, I'll try.
And there go the eardrums.
Hi, I'm Carli.
So a sleepover, huh? Pretty exciting.
When I was a girl, we would just stay up all night giggling and trying to decide who was cuter-- Ricky Martin or Lance Bass.
Boy, we sure took the wrong exit off that highway, huh? Mom.
What? You're doing it.
Okay.
Oh, you ladies have your own night because I have invited my own friend over.
What friend? Girls, you remember Ms.
Macken from school.
Oh, you probably don't recognize your ol' Mac and Cheese in her steppin'-out clothes, especially since I clean up so nice.
Ooh, ssss.
Hi, Miss Macken.
Hi, Miss Macken.
Oh, tonight you girls can call me Dot.
Hi, Dot? Didn't want to show up empty-handed.
Oh, thank you.
I was just going to order pizza, but this is really nice of you, and since you got it here in 30 minutes or less, you don't owe me anything.
You don't have to thank me because I just scraped up some of the leftovers in the cafeteria and put them in a casserole.
J-K, girls.
It's my homemade lasagna.
Oh, I got a fruit salad in the car.
I'll be right back.
Why don't you guys go put your stuff in my room.
I'll be there in a sec.
Right this way, ladies.
What is the lunch lady doing here? Her name is Dot, and when I dropped your lunch off at school, we really hit it off.
Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for me? Well, Pam, you told me to get new friends, and I did.
Not her.
She wears plastic gloves to work.
So do brain surgeons, not to mention I wear plastic gloves to work, and I wear an apron, and I serve food to people.
Am I embarrassing? Not for those reasons.
Hey! Pam Mitchell, what has gotten into you? Just because we moved to a better town doesn't mean we're better than anyone else.
Is that what you're learning from your new friends? Because I'll tell you what, Pam.
I will not tolerate you getting a snooty attitude.
You got it? Okay, I get it.
Can I go? And because Dot was nice enough to bring dinner to us, we are all going to be polite, and we're all going to eat together.
Mom, please, can't we just eat in my room? No, Pam, I told you.
We repay kindness with kindness.
And you know what? I really want you to give Dot a chance.
She's fun.
Okay.
Hurry back down.
The janitor's going to be here any minute.
He's bringing dessert.
Sarcasm.
Oh, hey, man.
How did it go with Alison? Awesome.
Dude, we made a video.
Check it out.
Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, I don't want to see that, and legally I'm pretty sure I'm not even allowed to.
It's not that kind of video.
Just watch.
It's up the ramp, through the hoop, bam! Into the boxes.
Oh, my God, that's you on that skateboard.
Yeah, yeah, Alison was totally into it.
Pretty cool, huh? Wha-- no.
No, not cool.
What, this is what I got you out of class for? What happened to going to Arby's? Oh, we did that, too.
You totally played me, Scott.
I mean, you could've gotten hurt, and if your mom finds out, we're the ones that are going to get hurt.
Oh.
Okay, Dot, this is my brother Nick.
Oh, hey, nice to meet you, dimples.
And of course you know Scott from school.
Hey, Scott, missed you at lunch today.
I ate in the courtyard.
He ate in the courtyard.
Come on.
Your brother's a tablespoon of cute and two cups of handsome.
Yeah, and a court of B.
S.
I brought some wine, if that's okay.
I don't know how you feel about drinking with kids in the house.
Are you kidding? Kids in the house is why I drink.
And ironically, drinking is why I have kids.
Uh-oh.
What uh-oh? I just got texted.
Jason videoed my stunt, and he posted it online.
Oh, my God, we're dead.
No, dude, we're famous.
Oh, my gosh, Dot, this is delicious, and there's nothing I like better than someone else cooking for me.
Unless it's someone else cleaning my bathroom.
But you're a guest, so no.
Well, I'm done.
You guys want to go? Uh-uh, sit down.
Sit down, Pam.
Here, have a little bit more of Dot's lasagna.
You ate through that like you were trying to win a contest.
So Dot, how long have you been at the school? We're all interested, aren't we, girls? Mmm.
Yes.
Long time, four principals, three mascots, oh, one shop teacher who had a second family in another school district, that nobody knew about until we played them at the big game.
Really? Mr.
Schiller? Oh, my God.
That's why he left.
Oh, you like that one, huh? That's nothing compared to what else goes on at that school.
Ooh, tell us.
Oh, don't.
Oh-ho, well, who do you want to hear about? Because I have got the dirt on everybody.
You know what, Dot? I think I'm okay on the wine.
All right, more for me.
What about Coach Larkin? He's totally cute, right? He's such a hottie.
You know what? Oh, last summer the school nurse Donna saw him at the beach wearing a banana hammock.
Turns out he's got a full bunch.
Okay, okay, do you mind, Dot? Do you mind? All right, who wants to eat upstairs? Come on, Pam.
You want to eat upstairs, lasagna in the bedroom.
Mom, it's more fun here.
Right here, this is great.
Hey, are you on Facebook? No, but I got a Web site-- LunchLady.
hair.
net.
Dot net! They got it.
They heard it.
I'm sorry, Uncle Nick.
It's out there now.
There's nothing we can do.
No.
No, there's something we can do.
We have to man up.
What do you mean "man up"? We have to tell your mom.
What? She's probably never even going to see it.
It doesn't matter, all right? We screwed up-- you because you did it and me because I let it happen.
So we're going to go in there and tell her together.
No way.
Can't we just leave the country or something? And go where, Scott, Mexico? Your Spanish is awful.
Then Canada.
What do they talk? Scott, look, it's over, all right? I can't be the cool uncle anymore.
I have to be the adult here.
Dude.
Dude.
Dude.
Dude.
Dude.
Dude.
And what's with the driver's ed teacher always flirting with Miss Cooper? Yeah.
Three-year affair.
I knew it.
Oh, word is, every day at lunch, he takes her out for a drive, and they look for a place to parallel park.
Okay, all right, let's have dessert upstairs.
Come on.
But, why, Ma? We're all having fun.
Well, let's have fun upstairs, huh? Don't you want to show Charlotte and Brianna your new stereo? You mean the old boom box the plumber left? That's the one.
It's vintage.
Why don't you just tape those batteries back in there and crank it up.
Come on, girls.
Oh, go up there and-- Bye, Dot.
Bye, Dot.
Bye, Dot.
get jiggy with it.
Okay? All right.
You can turn it up as loud as you want.
Okay? All righty.
Okay.
And another one bites the dust.
You know, Dot, um, this was all just a little bit inappropriate.
Oh, dear, I was just having so much fun.
I got a little over-excited and carried away.
So sorry, Carla.
Oh, no.
No, Dot.
No, no, I understand.
We all get carried away literally.
That's why I don't go to Oktoberfest anymore.
I'll tell you what.
Why don't I just go splash some water on my face, and I'll be right back.
I will put on some coffee for you.
Make mine Irish.
Just kidding.
Ah! I'll be right back.
Okay.
You are crackin' me up, Ms.
Macken.
Hey there, dimples.
Hey.
How's your night going? Uh, it's almost over, actually.
Maybe it's just getting started.
Let's see if you have dimples anyplace else.
Oh, what are you doing, Dot? Oh, don't be shy, cutie-pie.
You know you want to get with this.
I think you got the wrong impression in that I don't want to get with that.
Oh, don't play hard to get.
Come on, dance with me.
Well, this has been fun, and now it's not.
Don't run away, sweet cheeks.
The buffet is open, and it's self serve.
Uh, Carli? Oh, I have an idea where that dimple is.
Found it! Carli Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, Dot-- Dot, I think it's time to call it a night, okay? I got distracted on the way to the little girls' room, but I'll be back.
Nick, you have got to drive Dot home.
She is a train wreck.
No, there is no way I'm getting in a car alone with her.
Do I have to show you on a doll where she touched me? I cannot let the kids see her like this.
If you drive her home, I will owe you big.
How big? Huge.
All right, I'm going to tell you something, but you have to promise that you won't kick me out, stop feeding me, or come down on me in any way, when I do.
Deal? I'm not making any deals.
You really want Pam and Will coming down and seeing that? Ha! Ooh, just like burlesque class.
Okay, deal.
All right, I got Scott out of an assembly, and he did something dangerous.
What? Dangerous? But he didn't get hurt, and I totally learned my lesson, and I promise I will never do it again, so if I take her home, we're good? Nick, we are so not good.
This is called polishing the pole, but you have to own it.
Okay, you are off the hook, but when you get back, I need to know exactly what happened, okay? All right, all right.
All right.
Music's off, party over.
Uh, hey, Dot, gonna take you home now.
I knew you'd come around.
Oh, God.
Hey, is everything okay up there? Yeah, I just wanted to thank you for getting me to invite my friends over.
They're having a great time.
Oh, good, honey, I'm glad.
And you were right about Dot.
She's really cool.
And I'm glad you finally made a friend.
I shouldn't have judged her.
Yeah, I forgive you.
Um, and you know what? I'm sorry that I assumed your friends were snotty or a bad influence.
They seem like really nice girls.
What was that? Newspaper.
Since when do we get the newspaper? Since two seconds ago.
Didn't you hear that? All right, get up there and go have some fun with your friends, okay? Okay.
Oh-- So much for his lucky underwear.
Okay, Scott, I have come up with what I think is a fair punishment for your little stunt.
You're grounded for a month.
A month? Or you could be grounded for just a week on one tiny, little condition.
Accept my friendship on Facebook.
I'll take the month.
What about Uncle Nick? Why isn't he getting in trouble for this? Believe me, I've already been punished.
Are you sure, Scott? Because one month is a long time in teen years, and you're simply a click away from upping my friend count.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
That makes seven.
I have your Aunt Millie, her dog Gingersnap, Vanessa from produce, those three guys in prison, and now Scott.
Let the snooping begin.
Well this is sort of good news.
Duane broke out.