A League of Their Own (2022) s01e06 Episode Script
Stealing Home
Did you see how red those
red shoes were? Just
I didn't like when
they used all that color.
I get enough of that in real life.
- What on Earth are you talking about?
- Were you crying?
I'm sorry, it got me. It's so good.
- Aw, you little sap!
- Here they come.
Hey, Peaches! We love you!
Whoa.
Well, thank you!
- Can I have your autograph?
- Oh, my goodness. Yep.
- Oh, wow.
- Do you want mine?
Do you think there's a chance you're
gonna make it to the championship?
A chance? Yeah, you can bet on it!
Good. We will be there.
Thank you for the support!
See you in the stands. You're welcome.
We're famous! Anyone
else want an autograph?
Okay, calm down, Jo. Last one
to the ice-cream shop has to pay.
Not me.
- Shirl? Um
- Mmm.
Do you think there's a chance we're
making it into the championships?
Um, four games out of
second with 12 to go
I could calculate the odds for you.
No. It's fine.
No, you know what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it.
But don't tell anyone else
what you find out, okay?
- Okay, I won't.
- Okay, great.
- Excuse me, Miss Cowen?
- Yeah.
- I'm your biggest fan!
- What? Oh.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Thank you, sir.
I'm famous.
I wanted to go to the movies.
I wanted to go to the movies.
I wanted to go to the movies.
I can't wait to
show you guys my new swing.
I hit home yesterday.
I wanted to go to the movies.
Hey, you okay? Esti?
Ah, wearing pants outside
again, Miss McCready.
You know I'm gonna
have to keep fining you.
My pleasure.
And I will get that. Everyone, please
confirm you're in for the evening.
I had a dress picked out.
I was going to look like Judy Garland.
I told you to tell them!
Sorry. I'm sorry.
I forgot to tell you. I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry, didn't I?
I don't know, I'm sorry!
But you've had three months
and haven't learned
a word of English! You
could have done it yourself.
Am I your translator?
What did she say? Lay off her.
Esti, wait, wait, wait. Hey, hey,
hey. I'm so sorry. Are you all right?
Wait, kid. You had such a
good catch earlier. So good!
I know I made
a great catch. I feel good on the field.
No, you can't.
I don't know
why they didn't take me to the movies!
Mr. Marshall, please.
May I speak?
These girls have been
playing extremely well, and I
I suppose I don't have a choice.
You're a married woman, Mrs. Shaw.
It isn't befitting to be
darting around in the shadows.
Well, I'm the coach, right?
I need to know what's going on.
So?
Mr. Baker believes
that the Major Leagues
will decide to shut down next year.
He wants us prepared
to take over their ballparks.
Okay, that, that's great!
So, we're not getting shut down
because of the Girl Scouts anymore?
It appears you got us past that.
Okay.
But he is inviting some of the
other owners to our championships,
and he wants to make sure the level
of play is as high as possible. So
He intends to trade
some of our best players
to the two teams he thinks
will be in the championships.
No. We're gonna be in the championships.
Apparently, he thinks the Blue Sox
and the Comets have it locked up.
But they don't.
They asked me for my
recommendation on who to trade.
Beverly
I will delay it as
best I can, Mrs. Shaw.
I thought you didn't
care about baseball.
I don't.
I care about you all.
I'm afraid that that will not
be of much help right now.
Carson, we only have a 1-in-18 chance.
We have to win almost every game.
Yeah, we do.
Yeah.
Shit! Why didn't you
tell me you can bowl?
I don't. This is my first time.
Now, I don't believe that.
I don't really get out much. I
mean, just kinda practice and work.
But I like it. It's good, being out.
- Mm-hmm.
- In the world.
Well, welcome to the world, Maxie!
The moment I get home,
she starts looking through my pockets.
Look, I just let my woman run the money.
That's how we just keep things peaceful.
I can't believe you let him
come out here looking like this.
Well, I can't believe you come
out of the house looking like
a little church girl in those skirts
like you're 12, but, um, here we are.
I just meant Isn't
- Isn't it dangerous?
- Well, of course.
What else are we gonna do,
stay home all the time?
Look, what's the point in having a life
if you can't have
a little bit of fun? Huh?
Little church girl. Praise the Lord.
I'm not a church girl.
What you say about my money, honey?
I said it's your money, baby.
That's right. Hello, Mr. Jay,
how're you doing today?
You look good.
Well, this is for your wife, then.
Oh! Thank you, sir.
Best thank me, Mr. Jay.
- Hmm.
- Go get me a strike.
And here I thought my momma
was the mayor of Black Rockford.
Well, you know, it's
all about the suit. Right?
You fit the suit, you cut it
right, commands respect.
And I know how to cut it right.
Oh, shit! Hell! Damn!
Now, how am I so bad tonight?
I could get away with
so much if I was a man.
No one would pressure me to have
kids or a husband or, well, anything.
Do you think it's that easy?
Well No, but at least
I could play ball.
Hell!
You know what? I'm through.
I'm through with it. I'm through.
Y'all can have it.
"Lieutenant Vic"
"Lieutenant Lieutenant Victory,
"you and your robotic arms lead the way"
"into Zitler's subterranean lair!"
Why does he sound like
he is sucking on a lollipop?
"Subterranean lair! Lair!"
More white-like. More like,
"I ain't got a worry. Lair!"
"Rrrr." Pronounce those hard Rs
Are you talking to yourself again?
Oh, thank God you're home!
I think I'm losing it, Max.
What else is new?
I thought you already
sent that off to Guy.
Yeah, I will. I just I just need
it to be right. So, you know
- Well, you know what is right?
- Hmm?
I picked up our paychecks.
- Oh, that is right.
- Very right.
You know what else? You
need to pay your landlord,
so I can pay my landlord, so
God is your landlord?
God is everybody's landlord,
Maxine. Okay?
He is the Lord who created
the land. Can I get an "amen"?
- Amen.
- Mm-hmm.
Where have you been hiding
these last few nights, huh?
Been out. With some other friends.
That's funny!
No, seriously, where've you been?
Is it Gary? Please tell
me you fixed things up
No! No! Can you not be
so excited about Gary?
Okay.
I've actually been
spending some time with
my Aunt Bertie.
Okay. So, um
Do you want me to kill
you? Because I'mma do it
much nicer than Miss Toni would.
She gonna kill me anyway when
she see my hair, and I can't die twice.
So, it's fine.
Uh-uh.
This is This is short. What
- Can you check your check, please?
- What's it say?
It says, "Thank you
for volunteering." What?
They, they did not pay us
those extra hours.
They're basically saying that we
volunteered to help out the war.
Oh, hell, no!
We didn't do no volunteering.
They cannot do that. They can't
dictate what we get paid and
You know what? It is fine
because it is all helping Guy.
- I'mma go change.
- Mmm.
You are gonna send that off
eventually though, right?
Uh, yeah. I'm just
finishing it off now. So
Okay.
Are they paying you, Lieutenant
Victory? 'Cause if they're not
You know what, Clance?
This is a drawing, and it is weird.
Peaches at bat, bottom
of the ninth, trailing by two.
A loss today would eliminate
them from the playoffs.
But with a runner on first and
pitcher Lupe Garcia at the plate,
let's see if the Peaches
can work some late-game magic.
Swung on and ripped to right field!
That'll be a base hit for Garcia.
Nice, Lu!
How are you enjoying
the game, Mr. Baker, Jr.?
It's very impressive what you've
done with the team, Mrs. Shaw.
Thank you.
Jess.
You know what fans love just as
much as a great championship series
is a fight to get into one.
Beverly told you.
People love an underdog.
And, I'm sorry, but I feel
like you might understand
what it means to be one.
Well, I am underestimated,
constantly, but
Oh! McCready lays down a bunt.
Boy, she may have caught
the Comets napping.
She beats the throw to first base.
Both runners advance.
The Peaches now have the
bases loaded for slugger Greta Gill.
Nice.
Please, sir. Just give us
a chance, don't split us up.
We've won the last seven out
of ten. We're just getting together.
The odds are almost impossible.
My uncle and I,
we're trying to do what's best for
the League, Mrs. Shaw, for its future.
And a high fly ball.
Well, this one's gonna be
routine for Jenkins.
She's getting under it, but it
looks like Fletcher's calling her off.
It's not her ball,
but it drops in the hole!
Yes! Yes!
Two runs in. Here comes McCready.
She's home! And the Peaches win!
Oh, the Peaches win!
Those gals must have a
direct line with the man upstairs.
Or maybe Lady Luck
herself is even a fan.
Don't count us out just yet,
sir, please. Talk to your uncle.
I feel like you're the only person
he'll listen to. You have a lot of sway.
Excuse me.
You saw the way they dropped that ball.
Clearly Lady Luck is on our side.
- So, this point on, we change nothing.
- Okay.
Not our shoes, our clothes.
What we eat for breakfast. Nothing.
Thoughts? Could we change thoughts
or no, we shouldn't? Because it
- Keep 'em the same.
- Okay.
I don't know why I'm so
starving. All of the time.
'Cause Carson has
us practicing six hours a day.
Okay, I was thinking about it.
Maybe Lupe's trying to get traded,
and that's why she's
getting in with the Comets.
You really think she would do that?
The team's finally doing so well.
She just wants to get to
the championships. I get that.
Everybody's looking out for number one.
Except for you.
I just I see how good we could be,
and I just want us to get there in time.
That's it.
Tell them what Bev said. Let 'em
know what's on the line. It'll help.
I don't want them in their heads.
I want 'em to think
about tomorrow's game only.
- One at bat at a time. Okay?
- Goodness gracious!
And hopefully, Jess's Lady
Luck will be on our side.
I don't believe in luck.
Why not?
Well, I don't know if it's
God or Lady Luck, but
They give people like us a raw deal,
so they can kick rocks, you know?
So, what do you believe in, then?
Zoology.
And astrology.
- I believe in ice cubes.
- Oh. Wow.
- That's controversial. Really.
- I mean I know.
And don't tell anybody.
Is this okay?
Mm-hmm.
- So, I've been thinking.
- Okay.
I have no idea what
that was like with Dana.
But
Maybe Maybe I could
take you to dinner sometime?
I would just look like two
friends eating, right?
It wouldn't look like anything else.
I wish I could.
We just have nine games left.
And this is gonna end.
I just want it to be as real
as we can make it until then.
I guess you gotta figure out
how to get us into the
championships then, right, Coach?
I'll leave you with
your little game cards.
A lot of facts and research goes into
You're so weird.
We've been through this.
I know, a million times.
I know you're tired of me.
I'm tired of me. That's why I'm
saying, it's better for everyone.
Okay, please. Just switch me out.
I can't take it anymore. Please.
This is bigger than you, Miss Garcia.
- But I will consider it.
- Okay.
- Talk tomorrow.
- Mm-hmm.
Tax problems?
'Cause we do tax solutions.
My friend just came in here.
- What?
- Oh.
Are you a friend of Dorothy?
Like from the movie?
Wait. I know you, don't I?
The catcher?
- Oh.
- You girls. Come on.
Your friend's through there.
What, strike me out?
You're here with her? This is so wrong.
I can't believe you're trying
to play for the other team.
Oh, God. Okay. Carson.
- Please. Please, don't tell anyone.
- Oh, please.
I'm gonna tell everyone, 'cause they
need to know exactly who you really are.
Lupe, I thought we were
really making a connection.
- No, we were.
- I did not know she was taken.
I would not do that to you, Shaw.
What, I'm not. Baby
I mean, I don't know her.
You too? I am so
disappointed in both of you.
Wait, what?
Okay, what're you doing here?
I followed you.
I know you're trying to get
traded to the Comets. Okay?
- I heard you talking to Beverly.
- What? No
Oh, my God, no, no, no. Carson, I
was telling her I wanna trade rooms.
I don't wanna be with Esti anymore.
Sure, yeah. That's why you
are out here with our opponent?
Why are you laughing?
Okay, okay, okay. Hold on, hold on.
Carson, look around.
Okay.
She's like us.
What're you talking about?
No.
Carson from the farm
with the hubby at war?
- Mmm.
- I'm not from a farm.
- How did you know?
- I've known since
that first night at the bar.
But also, a couple weeks ago, you fell
asleep in my room with Greta, rookie.
You and Greta?
Drink up.
Oh, God. Oh, the height!
The height Who does what?
What is this place?
And I was so happy.
Auntie Em was so good to me.
- Are you crying?
- No.
I get it.
She just wants to go home.
But she can't.
Dorothy is evil.
I mean, this bitch
ain't trying to get home.
Home wasn't enough for Dorothy.
So, what does she do?
She invades another universe,
then drops a house
on the locals, and then,
manipulates these poor
bastards into following her on some
fool's errand for zero pay.
Oh, my God.
They don't even
realize that they're volunteering.
This is the fucking factory.
Dorothy is evil! She's the villain!
- Quiet down!
- Shh!
Yeah, okay, sure.
That was problematic, but, you
know, enjoy your popcorn, right?
- We should probably just go.
- Yeah, we should go.
- Come on.
- All of y'all should go.
You saw what
they did with the witches, right?
Mm-hmm.
- Green. They were green color.
- Mmm.
- We're the witches!
- Yeah.
And all this so-called "witch" wanted
to do was get justice for her sister,
who was murdered by this
colonizing invader of worlds.
Did we gloss over that part?
I'm sorry, I have no idea
what we're talking about.
All of it! It's the witches, it's
Dorothy, it's Rosie, the goddamn Riveter
- with her fucking fist up the world.
- What?
It was Speed Jaxon. And me telling
my own husband to go fight Zitler?
- Wait, who is Zitler?
- Exactly.
- Okay.
- I'm part of the problem.
- I gotta start again.
- No, stop. Clance, what are you doing?
Your hands are so strong!
Who is knocking
at our door at 9:00 p.m.?
This conversation is not done. Okay?
'Cause you know we gotta talk
about Munchkinland and Emerald City.
- Africa.
- The door.
- Europe.
- The door.
You saw that, right?
- Oh, hey. Hi.
- Oh. Hi.
- Hi, is Maxine here?
- Uh, yeah. Sure.
Oh, hey! Maxine! This is nice!
I'm sorry. I'm Bert, uh, Maxine's
This is my Clance.
This is my friend, Clance.
Hello.
So, listen, Max, few of our friends
are coming down from Detroit.
Now, they've had a
hard time with the riots.
We're gonna show them
a good time. Bring 'em in.
- Okay.
- Everybody wants to meet you.
- Okay.
- And I made a little something for you.
Okay. Thanks.
Clance, can we have minute?
- Oh, yeah. You want me to
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I was, I was tired,
anyway. Just
I'll take off.
- Nice meeting you.
- Yeah. Bye.
You can't do that.
- Do what?
- No. You can't just come
over here like this.
- Why not?
- You know why.
So, what, you can come and eat my food,
come on a date with me and my wife,
but I can't come through your door?
- I thought we were on the same page.
- Well, we aren't.
I'm not like you.
Wow.
All right.
So that was your Aunt Bertie?
Mm-hmm.
Why didn't you tell me?
Um, she just wanted
to talk about my momma.
Um, think she wanted to
borrow money or something.
Well, I can see why Toni
don't want her around.
Hey, it's okay.
It's not your fault. Okay?
It's not your fault
your aunt's a a freak.
- Maybelle?
- No!
Maybelle! I wish.
Okay, okay. All right, um
The Blue Sox pitcher?
The really girly one?
- And how!
- Oh, yeah. In a big way.
- Yes.
- She's so girly!
So are you. So is Greta. I
mean, not everybody's butch.
What's a butch?
Ah, boy.
I bet 35 percent of
the League are queers.
Just 35? Yeah, right. The batboy.
Even the batboy.
Hey, Martin.
Martin's gay. Very gay.
So
You both have been with women
since we've been here?
No.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- You could say that.
- Just a wee bit.
- How many?
- Like, this week?
- Exponentially grow by five.
- What?
How are you finding them?
Watch.
- Oh, my God.
- Uh
- Veronica? She's a biter.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Here.
Oh.
- Twins.
- Hey.
Hi.
We're ballplayers, Carson.
We're famous. Everyone wants us.
Hi! You ladies like, uh, beer?
- Yes.
- We love beer very much.
That's great.
- You're the catcher, right?
- Yeah.
Um, yeah, and she's married.
And she's taken.
- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.
Me, I'm as free as a foul ball.
Carson? Beers.
Okay.
- Where you ladies from?
- Around here.
That's fascinating.
Hello.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi. First time?
- Uh, yes.
- Yes.
Have you landed back on Earth yet?
I definitely have not.
My name is Vi. I own this place.
Oh, wow. It's incredible.
Thank you so much.
Do you like gin?
Um, I don't know if I've had
You know what? Yes, I do.
Say uncle. Say uncle. Say uncle.
Boom!
I cannot believe that they
make you guys play in skirts.
Yeah. I don't even think
about it anymore, to be honest.
I understand. And
you're the coach. I mean,
you're doing something no
one has ever done before you.
Yeah. I guess that's true.
I just hope I'm not terrible at it.
Come on, now. You are not
terrible. You won the last four.
Yeah, I try not to say that
out loud too much.
You know, I have a friend
who was a tightrope walker.
He told me the whole secret is,
"Whatever you do, don't look down."
"Because then you
realize exactly what it is
you've been doing." You know.
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey, honey.
This is my beautiful wife, Edie.
She is a huge Peaches fan.
Yes, I am.
Um, wait, I know you
from outside the theater.
Yes.
- You said your wife?
- Yes, my wife.
You were with a man, and I just
assumed he was your husband.
Oh, no. That was not my husband.
- That was our friend, Danny.
- Danny, over there.
He's occupied.
He's a soldier.
There are a lot of soldiers in here.
I just I don't
Like, I
How is any of this possible?
I mean, the bar? You being married? I
How is this allowed?
It's really not.
We've faced some hard times.
We had to move around a lot.
But we've been here six years.
It's been pretty good. Great home.
I mean, it's not a mansion.
But I am working on that.
- I like it.
- You do?
I do, I like it very much.
I'd like something a little bigger.
A little showier for the friends.
We got married here. Not officially.
But it was, by far,
the best day of my life.
You're so sweet.
It sounds like a dream.
Like Oz.
It kind of is like that.
Here's to Dorothy.
Oz.
It was amazing.
She was there, she was there.
- I mean, Greta, everyone was like us.
- Yeah.
You gotta come with me sometime.
We just can't go to a bar
like that, so close to home.
But, listen, I was thinking about it.
I'm gonna take you out on that date.
Next time we have a night off,
I'll take you somewhere special.
Really? That'd be okay?
- Think so.
- Okay.
Okay.
What is that smell?
Uh, sorry. That is absolutely me.
I have not changed my
socks in weeks. Anyone else?
I haven't swapped out my undies
since we started this sweep
Don't say it! Don't say it!
Don't say it!
Are you serious?
Wait, are you saying you have
been changing your clothes?
- Yes, Jess.
- Me, too. No one told me!
- Are you kidding me?
- What are you talking about?
Okay, okay. Peaches,
circle up. Here we go. Okay.
I'm not making the rally speech today.
- Hallelujah!
- Okay, uh, so, um
Someone else is gonna
do it every time actually
from here, moving forward now.
- Fun!
- So, who should it be?
Who should start?
Should we put names in a hat?
Honestly, the suspense.
Maybelle.
Come on, Maybelle.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Um
Ladies, I don't mean to brag,
but you are standing in the
presence of the six-time winner
of the Little Miss
Corn Chowder competition.
- Holy shit.
- Excuse me.
- Wow.
- Give it up for Maybelle.
Thank you.
Do you think it matters that
the Mayor's niece trots out there,
younger than you,
in a little gingham number
with her artificially-fattened heifer?
She doesn't know how
to drive a pig, does she?
- Mm-mmm.
- No.
No. Do you think it matters?
- No!
- No-siree-Bob's-my-uncle, it doesn't.
'Cause you still got the
best tits in Heehaw Township
and all you gotta do is get out there
and let them taste your chowder!
And the ball goes
to De Luca, throws to Gill on first.
Another play by the dynamic
duo, De Luca and Gill.
I'm telling you, this crowd
is loving their Peaches!
Repeat after me. We are strong.
We are strong.
We are courageous on the field.
We are courageous on the field.
We are not afraid
of the inevitability of death.
We are not afraid
of the inevitability of death.
Shaw's up to
bat. She's got the Peaches on fire.
On a hot streak herself.
Nine for her last 20.
Swung on, this will split
the outfielders and find
the gap in right center field.
This will bring McCready
home from second and the
Peaches will extend the lead
as Carson Shaw cruises
into second with a double.
You are the bat to my ball.
The hand to my glove.
The cup to my jockstrap.
All right. We get it. Gross.
And here we are in the ninth.
Garcia is in a bit of a jam
with runners on the corners
and the Peaches only up by one.
Ha!
Holy baloney.
I came from very far away to play here.
Even though you ignore me
and make me feel like a ghost.
You, me, are Peaches!
And we are gonna win this
game! We are gonna win!
Let's fucking go! Yeah!
Okay, Jo's on. Everybody has to do it.
Step right up. Step right up.
Do it this time. You do it.
Whoo!
Hey, hey, hey!
Peaches! Peaches! Peaches!
Home. Home.
I did it. I did it. We're
unstoppable. We're unstoppable.
- Mmm.
- Oh, my!
It's so good. I had it for
the first time last year.
- It's so good.
- Oh, my goodness, Carson Shaw.
On the house.
My daughters back there are fans.
We got our fingers and toes
crossed for you tomorrow night!
Oh, my goodness. Thank you.
Us?
- Hey, Carson.
- Oh! Hey.
Great game today.
- They love you. They're staring at you.
- We have fans.
Mmm
So, you think you're gonna
come back next season?
Well, I guess that depends on
how it goes for me and Joey out west.
Because the thing is, I might
be a huge movie star by then.
Yeah. No, yeah.
And I would never be able
to come in a place like this.
No. You couldn't I mean,
you know, you walk in
- I'd get mobbed.
- I would mob you.
Yeah. Well, that I wouldn't mind.
What about you?
Yeah, I mean, if the league
is going and if you're here,
there is no way I wouldn't come back.
Dimple.
What about Charlie, though?
Would he let you?
I mean, he didn't
really let me this time.
Um
But, yeah, I think he
wants what's best for me.
I hope.
You guys talk about having kids?
He's been gone for quite a while.
I'm not sure that I
really want kids, to be honest.
- I know that that I don't know.
- No, that's okay.
I think I'd actually love to have kids.
But the thing is, I never
wanna keep a man. Ever. Ever.
So, we're talking about
a completely different world.
You know?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Two more games. That's it.
Win two more games,
we go to the playoffs.
And we would also
get a little bit more time.
How about this?
If we win, you have
to come to the bar with me.
Okay. Yeah.
If we win, I will go the bar with you.
- You said it.
- I said it.
- Out loud.
- I know.
Over this
- incredible
- Holiest of meals.
dough-able
triangle thing.
That means a lot.
McCready
rounds third. She's digging for home.
She's safe!
And Lady luck's still
on the Peaches' side
as they pull it out in dramatic fashion,
once again scoring two in the
ninth to take it from the Racine Belles.
You're alone. Right, I counted,
there's 15 players, a chaperone,
- and no coach. You're the coach.
- Yeah. Yeah. Everyone left.
I didn't think that I was
ever gonna see you again.
Me neither. I don't even
know what I'm doing in here.
Do you wanna have a ca
Er, play catch?
No, I didn't come here
to talk about baseball.
I haven't even been pitching.
Do you wanna
Wait, oh, my goodness,
your hair. It looks so good.
It really suits you.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, I like it too.
Why are you in here by yourself?
Oh, I just I was just thinking. Um
Tomorrow is a really big game
and I need to figure out the lineup.
Anyway, uh, what did
you wanna talk about?
Where is your ring?
Oh, um
I just didn't want it
to get lost. And I'm, like,
here, and in and out, in town, and
The last time we talked,
I wanted to ask you,
what it was like being with her?
Um
Greta is her name.
Okay, well, with him, Charlie,
um, it's nice, you know?
It's like bread Warm bread.
- So, toast?
- I wouldn't say toast.
It's like, it's like
warm bread with butter.
Kind of just, like, nice, you know?
But with her, it's
Have you ever had pizza?
Yeah. I've had pizza.
I just, I just had it.
Wait, were you talking
about actual pizza or
'Cause I was actually
using it as a metaphor
Yeah, I get it.
I've had both.
But pizza
since I was
I don't know, 17? There was a woman.
Were you in love with her?
No. It was more about our bodies.
But I don't think I ever really
felt one way or another about her.
She always wanted me
to be a certain way.
- Like what?
- Tougher.
I tried, 'cause that's what she liked.
Everyone wants me to be some way.
I went to this bar and
there were all these tougher,
you know, like, sort of manly
And then there was,
like, the total opposite.
And I just kept thinking like,
I don't know if I'm any
or one or the other.
I just don't know
exactly where I belong.
- Maybe we need a new word for us.
- Yes!
- Something in between.
- Like, it could even be pizza related.
No, no, I think we
should stay away from food.
Yeah, no. Why would we do that?
So
Why aren't you pitching?
I think
I think I've just been
holding on to it so tight,
I don't even know
how to look at myself anymore.
I feel like I am just tying
myself into knots all the time.
And I don't know how to untie 'em.
And it doesn't matter whether
or not I'm playing ball or not
because there is just
There is no version of myself
that makes sense for the world.
I'm sorry, Max.
You mind if we just
sit here
and be quiet for a while?
Sure.
This is it, folks.
The final game of the regular
season, and it all comes down to this.
Whoever wins goes to the championship.
Can the Peaches ride
their streak all the way?
Shoot.
- I forgot Tommy.
- What?
- No. No!
- Who is Tommy?
Tommy is the G.I.
who gave me his picture
right before the first game
of the, you know?
And then right before he shipped out,
he took me out to dinner,
really nice place,
and I felt so bad for not kissing him
on account of his one gray tooth
but a real nice guy, that I put
his picture inside my brassiere,
and I swear that's why
I've been hitting so good.
But I don't know what happened,
and I think he fell out and now
he's probably in my sock drawer!
This is a disaster.
- What is he doing in your sock drawer?
- I don't know, Jo.
Okay, shut up!
Christ's sake.
Shaw.
Okay. Let's huddle up. Come on.
Greta's gonna do the speech this time.
Yeah, talk about luck.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, okay.
All right, fruits. Um
I hate to break it to you, but we
are not winning because of our socks
or our panties.
Or because of Tommy, who, to be honest,
never deserved to be in your bra
in the first place, okay?
- But now he might die.
- And that's his problem.
Gals, a couple of weeks ago,
Baker and Marshall thought we were done.
They were talking about
trading some of us
and they didn't think that
we stood a chance at all.
Are you serious?
This is maybe not the best way to
Is this my speech or yours, Shaw?
- Okay, then.
- Okay.
So, here it is.
We already did the thing that
no one thought was possible.
We were so goddamn good,
they had to keep us together.
We already did that. So, we did it.
Tonight's gravy.
'Cause, you know what?
I don't believe in luck.
I believe in us.
- Amen! Yes!
- Yeah.
- That's right.
- Nice speech, Bird!
All right. Here we go.
- Time.
- Time!
And Peaches off to a rocky start,
needing to talk things out before
the first pitch is even thrown.
- Lu.
- Don't worry about it.
What? What's going on?
What do think the bar
is gonna be like tonight?
When we win?
Um
- I don't know. Probably really fun.
- Mm-hmm.
I mean, this is why
you called me out here?
People are gonna think
something's wrong.
Let 'em think it. We're fucking
with 'em. Have a little fun.
- All right, well
- Oh!
I forgot. Get the fuck outta my face.
Hustle, Shaw. Come on.
The attitude.
Here comes De Luca the Bazooka,
crowd favorite.
And the pitch.
Oh, baby, she hit the
cream cheese outta that one!
Look out, Hitler,
that ball's headed to Berlin!
Another four-bagger
from the Peaches' star slugger.
- Is this really happening?
- I don't I don't I don't know.
Yes!
Strike!
I've never been sure
about anything, but I feel
Don't you say it.
Because we're
winning actively right now.
Don't
So, why would we stop
winning when we are winning?
Say it! Ah!
This is going very well.
Here we go, Lupe.
And the Peaches are
one out away from going to the playoffs.
Let's see if Garcia can shut them down.
We already did it!
Joey. Joey, you have to come with us.
- You have to.
- Bird.
- I promised that if we won
- Bird, look
I know I said forget the rules
but, like, this is just stupid.
- It's not stupid.
- It is stupid.
It's not stupid.
- Hi, cuties.
- Shh!
Any of you seen Esti anywhere?
- No. Is there a problem?
- She's probably celebrating, you know?
Or writing home. She
does write home a lot.
Well, she's nowhere to be found.
She always listens to Mister
District Attorney with me.
Never misses it.
But, anyhoos, guess
she'll show up. Kids, huh?
We did it.
- We did it!
- We did it.
- Good night.
- Bye.
She's fine.
- Where's she going?
- Jess. See, if Jess is out, I'm out.
Joey, she's not out. Please,
Joey, I need my wingwoman.
- Would you with the feet?
- Would you with the everything?
Come on, Joey.
Please, Joey. Joey. Joey.
- Okay. So, we're going.
- We're going.
- We're going.
- Yes!
Okay, wait. You guys
Jess and I, we'll catch
right up to you guys.
Don't be long. The twins are waiting.
- Twins?
- Tell them I'm on my way.
- Keep 'em warm.
- Twins, twins.
Fuck.
All her stuff is gone. And her suitcase.
Yeah, well, maybe
she's packing to go home.
I found this in the trash. She was
writing her mom. What does it say?
"My best friends, Jess and
Lupe, they are so nice to me."
"They are teaching me the language."
"They take care of me every
day and I don't miss home at all."
Okay. Let's go find her.
Hey.
What are you sneaking around for?
Sorry. I'm a friend of Gracie and Bert.
Oh. Well, get inside or people are
gonna start to get the wrong idea.
Right. Okay.
The party is in here, not out there.
Oh, come over here and
settle something for us, honey.
Which one of us girls do
you think is more beautiful?
Uh
Um
I'm trying to find someone, sorry.
Maxine. Where you off to?
You leaving already?
Uh, no, I was just, it's hot in
here and I got on long sleeves
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Girl, you always on the run.
I know you didn't wear
that for no reason.
Look at this. Look at them. Do
you see all this? Do you see this hat?
Tonight you are gonna have a good time.
You are going to have a fabulous time.
You are going to meet the family.
Come on, let's get you some
communion. Um, Lester, Earl, Willem.
You're Jo De Luca, the third baseman.
That I am.
- What's your name?
- Flo. It's short for Florida.
I went to Florida once.
Almost got eaten by three different
species of reptile while I was there.
Wanna tell me about it
while you beat me at darts?
Yes, I do.
And this Willa.
She introduced me to Bert
at a Gladys Bentley show.
Yes.
And I just remember seeing
Gladys on that stage in her tuxedo,
just a-wailing with this
big, beautiful voice, right?
It felt like God was saying
to me, "You are loved."
Hey, Max. Max. Can I
talk to you for a minute?
How often do the trains go by?
All the time.
They wake us up every night,
but it's worth it. For the privacy.
You know
You hurt me the other day.
You hurt my pride.
I'm still figuring out a lot of things.
But that's not an excuse. And I'm sorry.
You're wearing the slacks
that I made. And the vest.
Where's the rest of the suit?
You know, for a long time I
felt like I had to be my momma.
And part of me is.
But a lot of me isn't.
And now I can't talk to her.
I don't want to go through that
again with you. So, thank you.
I really appreciate it. Hell, I love it.
But
This is how I wanted to wear it.
- Is that your girl?
- No. I don't know her.
I never met her. I never met her.
Well, you better get going.
Go ahead, get going.
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
It's really cool. We
enjoyed that. We did a lot.
- That's my favorite game.
- It was good.
Excuse me, but do you wanna dance?
I do.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
Hi.
- Uh, I'm Max.
- I know.
I asked someone what your name was when
you started staring at me before.
You gotta dance with
me before you leave.
Oh, I gotta dance with you?
Sorry. It's the rules.
Oh, it's the rules, huh?
Might as well get it over with, then.
I think you're the most
beautiful person I've ever seen.
- What's your name?
- You can call me S.
- But you know my name.
- Guess that means I'm winning.
Mmm. What would happen if
I came to California with you?
I think a lot would happen.
- Oh, shit. The police.
- We gotta go.
- Go, everybody. Go.
- Come on.
- Joey, let's go.
- Bird, this way.
- Let's go! Jo!
- There's a
Come one! Let's go! Jo! Joey!
Let's go this way.
Jo. Where's Jo?
Tap your heels together three times.
Leave me alone! Get off me!
And think to yourself,
"There's no place like home.
There's no place like home."
Edie!
There's no place like home.
We never should have gone there.
There's no place like home.
red shoes were? Just
I didn't like when
they used all that color.
I get enough of that in real life.
- What on Earth are you talking about?
- Were you crying?
I'm sorry, it got me. It's so good.
- Aw, you little sap!
- Here they come.
Hey, Peaches! We love you!
Whoa.
Well, thank you!
- Can I have your autograph?
- Oh, my goodness. Yep.
- Oh, wow.
- Do you want mine?
Do you think there's a chance you're
gonna make it to the championship?
A chance? Yeah, you can bet on it!
Good. We will be there.
Thank you for the support!
See you in the stands. You're welcome.
We're famous! Anyone
else want an autograph?
Okay, calm down, Jo. Last one
to the ice-cream shop has to pay.
Not me.
- Shirl? Um
- Mmm.
Do you think there's a chance we're
making it into the championships?
Um, four games out of
second with 12 to go
I could calculate the odds for you.
No. It's fine.
No, you know what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it.
But don't tell anyone else
what you find out, okay?
- Okay, I won't.
- Okay, great.
- Excuse me, Miss Cowen?
- Yeah.
- I'm your biggest fan!
- What? Oh.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Thank you, sir.
I'm famous.
I wanted to go to the movies.
I wanted to go to the movies.
I wanted to go to the movies.
I can't wait to
show you guys my new swing.
I hit home yesterday.
I wanted to go to the movies.
Hey, you okay? Esti?
Ah, wearing pants outside
again, Miss McCready.
You know I'm gonna
have to keep fining you.
My pleasure.
And I will get that. Everyone, please
confirm you're in for the evening.
I had a dress picked out.
I was going to look like Judy Garland.
I told you to tell them!
Sorry. I'm sorry.
I forgot to tell you. I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry, didn't I?
I don't know, I'm sorry!
But you've had three months
and haven't learned
a word of English! You
could have done it yourself.
Am I your translator?
What did she say? Lay off her.
Esti, wait, wait, wait. Hey, hey,
hey. I'm so sorry. Are you all right?
Wait, kid. You had such a
good catch earlier. So good!
I know I made
a great catch. I feel good on the field.
No, you can't.
I don't know
why they didn't take me to the movies!
Mr. Marshall, please.
May I speak?
These girls have been
playing extremely well, and I
I suppose I don't have a choice.
You're a married woman, Mrs. Shaw.
It isn't befitting to be
darting around in the shadows.
Well, I'm the coach, right?
I need to know what's going on.
So?
Mr. Baker believes
that the Major Leagues
will decide to shut down next year.
He wants us prepared
to take over their ballparks.
Okay, that, that's great!
So, we're not getting shut down
because of the Girl Scouts anymore?
It appears you got us past that.
Okay.
But he is inviting some of the
other owners to our championships,
and he wants to make sure the level
of play is as high as possible. So
He intends to trade
some of our best players
to the two teams he thinks
will be in the championships.
No. We're gonna be in the championships.
Apparently, he thinks the Blue Sox
and the Comets have it locked up.
But they don't.
They asked me for my
recommendation on who to trade.
Beverly
I will delay it as
best I can, Mrs. Shaw.
I thought you didn't
care about baseball.
I don't.
I care about you all.
I'm afraid that that will not
be of much help right now.
Carson, we only have a 1-in-18 chance.
We have to win almost every game.
Yeah, we do.
Yeah.
Shit! Why didn't you
tell me you can bowl?
I don't. This is my first time.
Now, I don't believe that.
I don't really get out much. I
mean, just kinda practice and work.
But I like it. It's good, being out.
- Mm-hmm.
- In the world.
Well, welcome to the world, Maxie!
The moment I get home,
she starts looking through my pockets.
Look, I just let my woman run the money.
That's how we just keep things peaceful.
I can't believe you let him
come out here looking like this.
Well, I can't believe you come
out of the house looking like
a little church girl in those skirts
like you're 12, but, um, here we are.
I just meant Isn't
- Isn't it dangerous?
- Well, of course.
What else are we gonna do,
stay home all the time?
Look, what's the point in having a life
if you can't have
a little bit of fun? Huh?
Little church girl. Praise the Lord.
I'm not a church girl.
What you say about my money, honey?
I said it's your money, baby.
That's right. Hello, Mr. Jay,
how're you doing today?
You look good.
Well, this is for your wife, then.
Oh! Thank you, sir.
Best thank me, Mr. Jay.
- Hmm.
- Go get me a strike.
And here I thought my momma
was the mayor of Black Rockford.
Well, you know, it's
all about the suit. Right?
You fit the suit, you cut it
right, commands respect.
And I know how to cut it right.
Oh, shit! Hell! Damn!
Now, how am I so bad tonight?
I could get away with
so much if I was a man.
No one would pressure me to have
kids or a husband or, well, anything.
Do you think it's that easy?
Well No, but at least
I could play ball.
Hell!
You know what? I'm through.
I'm through with it. I'm through.
Y'all can have it.
"Lieutenant Vic"
"Lieutenant Lieutenant Victory,
"you and your robotic arms lead the way"
"into Zitler's subterranean lair!"
Why does he sound like
he is sucking on a lollipop?
"Subterranean lair! Lair!"
More white-like. More like,
"I ain't got a worry. Lair!"
"Rrrr." Pronounce those hard Rs
Are you talking to yourself again?
Oh, thank God you're home!
I think I'm losing it, Max.
What else is new?
I thought you already
sent that off to Guy.
Yeah, I will. I just I just need
it to be right. So, you know
- Well, you know what is right?
- Hmm?
I picked up our paychecks.
- Oh, that is right.
- Very right.
You know what else? You
need to pay your landlord,
so I can pay my landlord, so
God is your landlord?
God is everybody's landlord,
Maxine. Okay?
He is the Lord who created
the land. Can I get an "amen"?
- Amen.
- Mm-hmm.
Where have you been hiding
these last few nights, huh?
Been out. With some other friends.
That's funny!
No, seriously, where've you been?
Is it Gary? Please tell
me you fixed things up
No! No! Can you not be
so excited about Gary?
Okay.
I've actually been
spending some time with
my Aunt Bertie.
Okay. So, um
Do you want me to kill
you? Because I'mma do it
much nicer than Miss Toni would.
She gonna kill me anyway when
she see my hair, and I can't die twice.
So, it's fine.
Uh-uh.
This is This is short. What
- Can you check your check, please?
- What's it say?
It says, "Thank you
for volunteering." What?
They, they did not pay us
those extra hours.
They're basically saying that we
volunteered to help out the war.
Oh, hell, no!
We didn't do no volunteering.
They cannot do that. They can't
dictate what we get paid and
You know what? It is fine
because it is all helping Guy.
- I'mma go change.
- Mmm.
You are gonna send that off
eventually though, right?
Uh, yeah. I'm just
finishing it off now. So
Okay.
Are they paying you, Lieutenant
Victory? 'Cause if they're not
You know what, Clance?
This is a drawing, and it is weird.
Peaches at bat, bottom
of the ninth, trailing by two.
A loss today would eliminate
them from the playoffs.
But with a runner on first and
pitcher Lupe Garcia at the plate,
let's see if the Peaches
can work some late-game magic.
Swung on and ripped to right field!
That'll be a base hit for Garcia.
Nice, Lu!
How are you enjoying
the game, Mr. Baker, Jr.?
It's very impressive what you've
done with the team, Mrs. Shaw.
Thank you.
Jess.
You know what fans love just as
much as a great championship series
is a fight to get into one.
Beverly told you.
People love an underdog.
And, I'm sorry, but I feel
like you might understand
what it means to be one.
Well, I am underestimated,
constantly, but
Oh! McCready lays down a bunt.
Boy, she may have caught
the Comets napping.
She beats the throw to first base.
Both runners advance.
The Peaches now have the
bases loaded for slugger Greta Gill.
Nice.
Please, sir. Just give us
a chance, don't split us up.
We've won the last seven out
of ten. We're just getting together.
The odds are almost impossible.
My uncle and I,
we're trying to do what's best for
the League, Mrs. Shaw, for its future.
And a high fly ball.
Well, this one's gonna be
routine for Jenkins.
She's getting under it, but it
looks like Fletcher's calling her off.
It's not her ball,
but it drops in the hole!
Yes! Yes!
Two runs in. Here comes McCready.
She's home! And the Peaches win!
Oh, the Peaches win!
Those gals must have a
direct line with the man upstairs.
Or maybe Lady Luck
herself is even a fan.
Don't count us out just yet,
sir, please. Talk to your uncle.
I feel like you're the only person
he'll listen to. You have a lot of sway.
Excuse me.
You saw the way they dropped that ball.
Clearly Lady Luck is on our side.
- So, this point on, we change nothing.
- Okay.
Not our shoes, our clothes.
What we eat for breakfast. Nothing.
Thoughts? Could we change thoughts
or no, we shouldn't? Because it
- Keep 'em the same.
- Okay.
I don't know why I'm so
starving. All of the time.
'Cause Carson has
us practicing six hours a day.
Okay, I was thinking about it.
Maybe Lupe's trying to get traded,
and that's why she's
getting in with the Comets.
You really think she would do that?
The team's finally doing so well.
She just wants to get to
the championships. I get that.
Everybody's looking out for number one.
Except for you.
I just I see how good we could be,
and I just want us to get there in time.
That's it.
Tell them what Bev said. Let 'em
know what's on the line. It'll help.
I don't want them in their heads.
I want 'em to think
about tomorrow's game only.
- One at bat at a time. Okay?
- Goodness gracious!
And hopefully, Jess's Lady
Luck will be on our side.
I don't believe in luck.
Why not?
Well, I don't know if it's
God or Lady Luck, but
They give people like us a raw deal,
so they can kick rocks, you know?
So, what do you believe in, then?
Zoology.
And astrology.
- I believe in ice cubes.
- Oh. Wow.
- That's controversial. Really.
- I mean I know.
And don't tell anybody.
Is this okay?
Mm-hmm.
- So, I've been thinking.
- Okay.
I have no idea what
that was like with Dana.
But
Maybe Maybe I could
take you to dinner sometime?
I would just look like two
friends eating, right?
It wouldn't look like anything else.
I wish I could.
We just have nine games left.
And this is gonna end.
I just want it to be as real
as we can make it until then.
I guess you gotta figure out
how to get us into the
championships then, right, Coach?
I'll leave you with
your little game cards.
A lot of facts and research goes into
You're so weird.
We've been through this.
I know, a million times.
I know you're tired of me.
I'm tired of me. That's why I'm
saying, it's better for everyone.
Okay, please. Just switch me out.
I can't take it anymore. Please.
This is bigger than you, Miss Garcia.
- But I will consider it.
- Okay.
- Talk tomorrow.
- Mm-hmm.
Tax problems?
'Cause we do tax solutions.
My friend just came in here.
- What?
- Oh.
Are you a friend of Dorothy?
Like from the movie?
Wait. I know you, don't I?
The catcher?
- Oh.
- You girls. Come on.
Your friend's through there.
What, strike me out?
You're here with her? This is so wrong.
I can't believe you're trying
to play for the other team.
Oh, God. Okay. Carson.
- Please. Please, don't tell anyone.
- Oh, please.
I'm gonna tell everyone, 'cause they
need to know exactly who you really are.
Lupe, I thought we were
really making a connection.
- No, we were.
- I did not know she was taken.
I would not do that to you, Shaw.
What, I'm not. Baby
I mean, I don't know her.
You too? I am so
disappointed in both of you.
Wait, what?
Okay, what're you doing here?
I followed you.
I know you're trying to get
traded to the Comets. Okay?
- I heard you talking to Beverly.
- What? No
Oh, my God, no, no, no. Carson, I
was telling her I wanna trade rooms.
I don't wanna be with Esti anymore.
Sure, yeah. That's why you
are out here with our opponent?
Why are you laughing?
Okay, okay, okay. Hold on, hold on.
Carson, look around.
Okay.
She's like us.
What're you talking about?
No.
Carson from the farm
with the hubby at war?
- Mmm.
- I'm not from a farm.
- How did you know?
- I've known since
that first night at the bar.
But also, a couple weeks ago, you fell
asleep in my room with Greta, rookie.
You and Greta?
Drink up.
Oh, God. Oh, the height!
The height Who does what?
What is this place?
And I was so happy.
Auntie Em was so good to me.
- Are you crying?
- No.
I get it.
She just wants to go home.
But she can't.
Dorothy is evil.
I mean, this bitch
ain't trying to get home.
Home wasn't enough for Dorothy.
So, what does she do?
She invades another universe,
then drops a house
on the locals, and then,
manipulates these poor
bastards into following her on some
fool's errand for zero pay.
Oh, my God.
They don't even
realize that they're volunteering.
This is the fucking factory.
Dorothy is evil! She's the villain!
- Quiet down!
- Shh!
Yeah, okay, sure.
That was problematic, but, you
know, enjoy your popcorn, right?
- We should probably just go.
- Yeah, we should go.
- Come on.
- All of y'all should go.
You saw what
they did with the witches, right?
Mm-hmm.
- Green. They were green color.
- Mmm.
- We're the witches!
- Yeah.
And all this so-called "witch" wanted
to do was get justice for her sister,
who was murdered by this
colonizing invader of worlds.
Did we gloss over that part?
I'm sorry, I have no idea
what we're talking about.
All of it! It's the witches, it's
Dorothy, it's Rosie, the goddamn Riveter
- with her fucking fist up the world.
- What?
It was Speed Jaxon. And me telling
my own husband to go fight Zitler?
- Wait, who is Zitler?
- Exactly.
- Okay.
- I'm part of the problem.
- I gotta start again.
- No, stop. Clance, what are you doing?
Your hands are so strong!
Who is knocking
at our door at 9:00 p.m.?
This conversation is not done. Okay?
'Cause you know we gotta talk
about Munchkinland and Emerald City.
- Africa.
- The door.
- Europe.
- The door.
You saw that, right?
- Oh, hey. Hi.
- Oh. Hi.
- Hi, is Maxine here?
- Uh, yeah. Sure.
Oh, hey! Maxine! This is nice!
I'm sorry. I'm Bert, uh, Maxine's
This is my Clance.
This is my friend, Clance.
Hello.
So, listen, Max, few of our friends
are coming down from Detroit.
Now, they've had a
hard time with the riots.
We're gonna show them
a good time. Bring 'em in.
- Okay.
- Everybody wants to meet you.
- Okay.
- And I made a little something for you.
Okay. Thanks.
Clance, can we have minute?
- Oh, yeah. You want me to
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I was, I was tired,
anyway. Just
I'll take off.
- Nice meeting you.
- Yeah. Bye.
You can't do that.
- Do what?
- No. You can't just come
over here like this.
- Why not?
- You know why.
So, what, you can come and eat my food,
come on a date with me and my wife,
but I can't come through your door?
- I thought we were on the same page.
- Well, we aren't.
I'm not like you.
Wow.
All right.
So that was your Aunt Bertie?
Mm-hmm.
Why didn't you tell me?
Um, she just wanted
to talk about my momma.
Um, think she wanted to
borrow money or something.
Well, I can see why Toni
don't want her around.
Hey, it's okay.
It's not your fault. Okay?
It's not your fault
your aunt's a a freak.
- Maybelle?
- No!
Maybelle! I wish.
Okay, okay. All right, um
The Blue Sox pitcher?
The really girly one?
- And how!
- Oh, yeah. In a big way.
- Yes.
- She's so girly!
So are you. So is Greta. I
mean, not everybody's butch.
What's a butch?
Ah, boy.
I bet 35 percent of
the League are queers.
Just 35? Yeah, right. The batboy.
Even the batboy.
Hey, Martin.
Martin's gay. Very gay.
So
You both have been with women
since we've been here?
No.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- You could say that.
- Just a wee bit.
- How many?
- Like, this week?
- Exponentially grow by five.
- What?
How are you finding them?
Watch.
- Oh, my God.
- Uh
- Veronica? She's a biter.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Here.
Oh.
- Twins.
- Hey.
Hi.
We're ballplayers, Carson.
We're famous. Everyone wants us.
Hi! You ladies like, uh, beer?
- Yes.
- We love beer very much.
That's great.
- You're the catcher, right?
- Yeah.
Um, yeah, and she's married.
And she's taken.
- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.
Me, I'm as free as a foul ball.
Carson? Beers.
Okay.
- Where you ladies from?
- Around here.
That's fascinating.
Hello.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi. First time?
- Uh, yes.
- Yes.
Have you landed back on Earth yet?
I definitely have not.
My name is Vi. I own this place.
Oh, wow. It's incredible.
Thank you so much.
Do you like gin?
Um, I don't know if I've had
You know what? Yes, I do.
Say uncle. Say uncle. Say uncle.
Boom!
I cannot believe that they
make you guys play in skirts.
Yeah. I don't even think
about it anymore, to be honest.
I understand. And
you're the coach. I mean,
you're doing something no
one has ever done before you.
Yeah. I guess that's true.
I just hope I'm not terrible at it.
Come on, now. You are not
terrible. You won the last four.
Yeah, I try not to say that
out loud too much.
You know, I have a friend
who was a tightrope walker.
He told me the whole secret is,
"Whatever you do, don't look down."
"Because then you
realize exactly what it is
you've been doing." You know.
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey, honey.
This is my beautiful wife, Edie.
She is a huge Peaches fan.
Yes, I am.
Um, wait, I know you
from outside the theater.
Yes.
- You said your wife?
- Yes, my wife.
You were with a man, and I just
assumed he was your husband.
Oh, no. That was not my husband.
- That was our friend, Danny.
- Danny, over there.
He's occupied.
He's a soldier.
There are a lot of soldiers in here.
I just I don't
Like, I
How is any of this possible?
I mean, the bar? You being married? I
How is this allowed?
It's really not.
We've faced some hard times.
We had to move around a lot.
But we've been here six years.
It's been pretty good. Great home.
I mean, it's not a mansion.
But I am working on that.
- I like it.
- You do?
I do, I like it very much.
I'd like something a little bigger.
A little showier for the friends.
We got married here. Not officially.
But it was, by far,
the best day of my life.
You're so sweet.
It sounds like a dream.
Like Oz.
It kind of is like that.
Here's to Dorothy.
Oz.
It was amazing.
She was there, she was there.
- I mean, Greta, everyone was like us.
- Yeah.
You gotta come with me sometime.
We just can't go to a bar
like that, so close to home.
But, listen, I was thinking about it.
I'm gonna take you out on that date.
Next time we have a night off,
I'll take you somewhere special.
Really? That'd be okay?
- Think so.
- Okay.
Okay.
What is that smell?
Uh, sorry. That is absolutely me.
I have not changed my
socks in weeks. Anyone else?
I haven't swapped out my undies
since we started this sweep
Don't say it! Don't say it!
Don't say it!
Are you serious?
Wait, are you saying you have
been changing your clothes?
- Yes, Jess.
- Me, too. No one told me!
- Are you kidding me?
- What are you talking about?
Okay, okay. Peaches,
circle up. Here we go. Okay.
I'm not making the rally speech today.
- Hallelujah!
- Okay, uh, so, um
Someone else is gonna
do it every time actually
from here, moving forward now.
- Fun!
- So, who should it be?
Who should start?
Should we put names in a hat?
Honestly, the suspense.
Maybelle.
Come on, Maybelle.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Um
Ladies, I don't mean to brag,
but you are standing in the
presence of the six-time winner
of the Little Miss
Corn Chowder competition.
- Holy shit.
- Excuse me.
- Wow.
- Give it up for Maybelle.
Thank you.
Do you think it matters that
the Mayor's niece trots out there,
younger than you,
in a little gingham number
with her artificially-fattened heifer?
She doesn't know how
to drive a pig, does she?
- Mm-mmm.
- No.
No. Do you think it matters?
- No!
- No-siree-Bob's-my-uncle, it doesn't.
'Cause you still got the
best tits in Heehaw Township
and all you gotta do is get out there
and let them taste your chowder!
And the ball goes
to De Luca, throws to Gill on first.
Another play by the dynamic
duo, De Luca and Gill.
I'm telling you, this crowd
is loving their Peaches!
Repeat after me. We are strong.
We are strong.
We are courageous on the field.
We are courageous on the field.
We are not afraid
of the inevitability of death.
We are not afraid
of the inevitability of death.
Shaw's up to
bat. She's got the Peaches on fire.
On a hot streak herself.
Nine for her last 20.
Swung on, this will split
the outfielders and find
the gap in right center field.
This will bring McCready
home from second and the
Peaches will extend the lead
as Carson Shaw cruises
into second with a double.
You are the bat to my ball.
The hand to my glove.
The cup to my jockstrap.
All right. We get it. Gross.
And here we are in the ninth.
Garcia is in a bit of a jam
with runners on the corners
and the Peaches only up by one.
Ha!
Holy baloney.
I came from very far away to play here.
Even though you ignore me
and make me feel like a ghost.
You, me, are Peaches!
And we are gonna win this
game! We are gonna win!
Let's fucking go! Yeah!
Okay, Jo's on. Everybody has to do it.
Step right up. Step right up.
Do it this time. You do it.
Whoo!
Hey, hey, hey!
Peaches! Peaches! Peaches!
Home. Home.
I did it. I did it. We're
unstoppable. We're unstoppable.
- Mmm.
- Oh, my!
It's so good. I had it for
the first time last year.
- It's so good.
- Oh, my goodness, Carson Shaw.
On the house.
My daughters back there are fans.
We got our fingers and toes
crossed for you tomorrow night!
Oh, my goodness. Thank you.
Us?
- Hey, Carson.
- Oh! Hey.
Great game today.
- They love you. They're staring at you.
- We have fans.
Mmm
So, you think you're gonna
come back next season?
Well, I guess that depends on
how it goes for me and Joey out west.
Because the thing is, I might
be a huge movie star by then.
Yeah. No, yeah.
And I would never be able
to come in a place like this.
No. You couldn't I mean,
you know, you walk in
- I'd get mobbed.
- I would mob you.
Yeah. Well, that I wouldn't mind.
What about you?
Yeah, I mean, if the league
is going and if you're here,
there is no way I wouldn't come back.
Dimple.
What about Charlie, though?
Would he let you?
I mean, he didn't
really let me this time.
Um
But, yeah, I think he
wants what's best for me.
I hope.
You guys talk about having kids?
He's been gone for quite a while.
I'm not sure that I
really want kids, to be honest.
- I know that that I don't know.
- No, that's okay.
I think I'd actually love to have kids.
But the thing is, I never
wanna keep a man. Ever. Ever.
So, we're talking about
a completely different world.
You know?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Two more games. That's it.
Win two more games,
we go to the playoffs.
And we would also
get a little bit more time.
How about this?
If we win, you have
to come to the bar with me.
Okay. Yeah.
If we win, I will go the bar with you.
- You said it.
- I said it.
- Out loud.
- I know.
Over this
- incredible
- Holiest of meals.
dough-able
triangle thing.
That means a lot.
McCready
rounds third. She's digging for home.
She's safe!
And Lady luck's still
on the Peaches' side
as they pull it out in dramatic fashion,
once again scoring two in the
ninth to take it from the Racine Belles.
You're alone. Right, I counted,
there's 15 players, a chaperone,
- and no coach. You're the coach.
- Yeah. Yeah. Everyone left.
I didn't think that I was
ever gonna see you again.
Me neither. I don't even
know what I'm doing in here.
Do you wanna have a ca
Er, play catch?
No, I didn't come here
to talk about baseball.
I haven't even been pitching.
Do you wanna
Wait, oh, my goodness,
your hair. It looks so good.
It really suits you.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, I like it too.
Why are you in here by yourself?
Oh, I just I was just thinking. Um
Tomorrow is a really big game
and I need to figure out the lineup.
Anyway, uh, what did
you wanna talk about?
Where is your ring?
Oh, um
I just didn't want it
to get lost. And I'm, like,
here, and in and out, in town, and
The last time we talked,
I wanted to ask you,
what it was like being with her?
Um
Greta is her name.
Okay, well, with him, Charlie,
um, it's nice, you know?
It's like bread Warm bread.
- So, toast?
- I wouldn't say toast.
It's like, it's like
warm bread with butter.
Kind of just, like, nice, you know?
But with her, it's
Have you ever had pizza?
Yeah. I've had pizza.
I just, I just had it.
Wait, were you talking
about actual pizza or
'Cause I was actually
using it as a metaphor
Yeah, I get it.
I've had both.
But pizza
since I was
I don't know, 17? There was a woman.
Were you in love with her?
No. It was more about our bodies.
But I don't think I ever really
felt one way or another about her.
She always wanted me
to be a certain way.
- Like what?
- Tougher.
I tried, 'cause that's what she liked.
Everyone wants me to be some way.
I went to this bar and
there were all these tougher,
you know, like, sort of manly
And then there was,
like, the total opposite.
And I just kept thinking like,
I don't know if I'm any
or one or the other.
I just don't know
exactly where I belong.
- Maybe we need a new word for us.
- Yes!
- Something in between.
- Like, it could even be pizza related.
No, no, I think we
should stay away from food.
Yeah, no. Why would we do that?
So
Why aren't you pitching?
I think
I think I've just been
holding on to it so tight,
I don't even know
how to look at myself anymore.
I feel like I am just tying
myself into knots all the time.
And I don't know how to untie 'em.
And it doesn't matter whether
or not I'm playing ball or not
because there is just
There is no version of myself
that makes sense for the world.
I'm sorry, Max.
You mind if we just
sit here
and be quiet for a while?
Sure.
This is it, folks.
The final game of the regular
season, and it all comes down to this.
Whoever wins goes to the championship.
Can the Peaches ride
their streak all the way?
Shoot.
- I forgot Tommy.
- What?
- No. No!
- Who is Tommy?
Tommy is the G.I.
who gave me his picture
right before the first game
of the, you know?
And then right before he shipped out,
he took me out to dinner,
really nice place,
and I felt so bad for not kissing him
on account of his one gray tooth
but a real nice guy, that I put
his picture inside my brassiere,
and I swear that's why
I've been hitting so good.
But I don't know what happened,
and I think he fell out and now
he's probably in my sock drawer!
This is a disaster.
- What is he doing in your sock drawer?
- I don't know, Jo.
Okay, shut up!
Christ's sake.
Shaw.
Okay. Let's huddle up. Come on.
Greta's gonna do the speech this time.
Yeah, talk about luck.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, okay.
All right, fruits. Um
I hate to break it to you, but we
are not winning because of our socks
or our panties.
Or because of Tommy, who, to be honest,
never deserved to be in your bra
in the first place, okay?
- But now he might die.
- And that's his problem.
Gals, a couple of weeks ago,
Baker and Marshall thought we were done.
They were talking about
trading some of us
and they didn't think that
we stood a chance at all.
Are you serious?
This is maybe not the best way to
Is this my speech or yours, Shaw?
- Okay, then.
- Okay.
So, here it is.
We already did the thing that
no one thought was possible.
We were so goddamn good,
they had to keep us together.
We already did that. So, we did it.
Tonight's gravy.
'Cause, you know what?
I don't believe in luck.
I believe in us.
- Amen! Yes!
- Yeah.
- That's right.
- Nice speech, Bird!
All right. Here we go.
- Time.
- Time!
And Peaches off to a rocky start,
needing to talk things out before
the first pitch is even thrown.
- Lu.
- Don't worry about it.
What? What's going on?
What do think the bar
is gonna be like tonight?
When we win?
Um
- I don't know. Probably really fun.
- Mm-hmm.
I mean, this is why
you called me out here?
People are gonna think
something's wrong.
Let 'em think it. We're fucking
with 'em. Have a little fun.
- All right, well
- Oh!
I forgot. Get the fuck outta my face.
Hustle, Shaw. Come on.
The attitude.
Here comes De Luca the Bazooka,
crowd favorite.
And the pitch.
Oh, baby, she hit the
cream cheese outta that one!
Look out, Hitler,
that ball's headed to Berlin!
Another four-bagger
from the Peaches' star slugger.
- Is this really happening?
- I don't I don't I don't know.
Yes!
Strike!
I've never been sure
about anything, but I feel
Don't you say it.
Because we're
winning actively right now.
Don't
So, why would we stop
winning when we are winning?
Say it! Ah!
This is going very well.
Here we go, Lupe.
And the Peaches are
one out away from going to the playoffs.
Let's see if Garcia can shut them down.
We already did it!
Joey. Joey, you have to come with us.
- You have to.
- Bird.
- I promised that if we won
- Bird, look
I know I said forget the rules
but, like, this is just stupid.
- It's not stupid.
- It is stupid.
It's not stupid.
- Hi, cuties.
- Shh!
Any of you seen Esti anywhere?
- No. Is there a problem?
- She's probably celebrating, you know?
Or writing home. She
does write home a lot.
Well, she's nowhere to be found.
She always listens to Mister
District Attorney with me.
Never misses it.
But, anyhoos, guess
she'll show up. Kids, huh?
We did it.
- We did it!
- We did it.
- Good night.
- Bye.
She's fine.
- Where's she going?
- Jess. See, if Jess is out, I'm out.
Joey, she's not out. Please,
Joey, I need my wingwoman.
- Would you with the feet?
- Would you with the everything?
Come on, Joey.
Please, Joey. Joey. Joey.
- Okay. So, we're going.
- We're going.
- We're going.
- Yes!
Okay, wait. You guys
Jess and I, we'll catch
right up to you guys.
Don't be long. The twins are waiting.
- Twins?
- Tell them I'm on my way.
- Keep 'em warm.
- Twins, twins.
Fuck.
All her stuff is gone. And her suitcase.
Yeah, well, maybe
she's packing to go home.
I found this in the trash. She was
writing her mom. What does it say?
"My best friends, Jess and
Lupe, they are so nice to me."
"They are teaching me the language."
"They take care of me every
day and I don't miss home at all."
Okay. Let's go find her.
Hey.
What are you sneaking around for?
Sorry. I'm a friend of Gracie and Bert.
Oh. Well, get inside or people are
gonna start to get the wrong idea.
Right. Okay.
The party is in here, not out there.
Oh, come over here and
settle something for us, honey.
Which one of us girls do
you think is more beautiful?
Uh
Um
I'm trying to find someone, sorry.
Maxine. Where you off to?
You leaving already?
Uh, no, I was just, it's hot in
here and I got on long sleeves
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Girl, you always on the run.
I know you didn't wear
that for no reason.
Look at this. Look at them. Do
you see all this? Do you see this hat?
Tonight you are gonna have a good time.
You are going to have a fabulous time.
You are going to meet the family.
Come on, let's get you some
communion. Um, Lester, Earl, Willem.
You're Jo De Luca, the third baseman.
That I am.
- What's your name?
- Flo. It's short for Florida.
I went to Florida once.
Almost got eaten by three different
species of reptile while I was there.
Wanna tell me about it
while you beat me at darts?
Yes, I do.
And this Willa.
She introduced me to Bert
at a Gladys Bentley show.
Yes.
And I just remember seeing
Gladys on that stage in her tuxedo,
just a-wailing with this
big, beautiful voice, right?
It felt like God was saying
to me, "You are loved."
Hey, Max. Max. Can I
talk to you for a minute?
How often do the trains go by?
All the time.
They wake us up every night,
but it's worth it. For the privacy.
You know
You hurt me the other day.
You hurt my pride.
I'm still figuring out a lot of things.
But that's not an excuse. And I'm sorry.
You're wearing the slacks
that I made. And the vest.
Where's the rest of the suit?
You know, for a long time I
felt like I had to be my momma.
And part of me is.
But a lot of me isn't.
And now I can't talk to her.
I don't want to go through that
again with you. So, thank you.
I really appreciate it. Hell, I love it.
But
This is how I wanted to wear it.
- Is that your girl?
- No. I don't know her.
I never met her. I never met her.
Well, you better get going.
Go ahead, get going.
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
It's really cool. We
enjoyed that. We did a lot.
- That's my favorite game.
- It was good.
Excuse me, but do you wanna dance?
I do.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
Hi.
- Uh, I'm Max.
- I know.
I asked someone what your name was when
you started staring at me before.
You gotta dance with
me before you leave.
Oh, I gotta dance with you?
Sorry. It's the rules.
Oh, it's the rules, huh?
Might as well get it over with, then.
I think you're the most
beautiful person I've ever seen.
- What's your name?
- You can call me S.
- But you know my name.
- Guess that means I'm winning.
Mmm. What would happen if
I came to California with you?
I think a lot would happen.
- Oh, shit. The police.
- We gotta go.
- Go, everybody. Go.
- Come on.
- Joey, let's go.
- Bird, this way.
- Let's go! Jo!
- There's a
Come one! Let's go! Jo! Joey!
Let's go this way.
Jo. Where's Jo?
Tap your heels together three times.
Leave me alone! Get off me!
And think to yourself,
"There's no place like home.
There's no place like home."
Edie!
There's no place like home.
We never should have gone there.
There's no place like home.