All and Eva (2024) s01e06 Episode Script
And Mads
1
Hi, Annelie, it's
It's Eva, but I'm feeling
under the weather today as well.
Yeah. Yes, unfortunately.
Yes, thank you.
We'll talk later, bye.
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Eva,
Happy Birthday to you
Thank you, I'd actually forgotten.
-Happy Birth
-I think that's enough.
Happy Birthday.
Can we come in?
Mm, yes.
Happy Birthday, sweetheart.
Hi.
-Oh
-Jesus.
Right
-You're cleaning.
-Yes.
Eva, are you okay?
Yes, it just felt good
to clear out the old stuff.
Get things back to normal here.
It turns out to be really
convenient, calling in sick.
ListenMads? Where
Who?
No, I'm just joking.
No, he left.
It feels like such a relief.
Such a relief.
James and Josse,
what do they think?
It doesn't matter what they think.
Have a seat.
You seem a little strange.
Me? I'm doing great,
I'm just really happy.
-Right.
-There.
But let's open some presents,
that'll be nice.
Yeah.
A little flower. But
Here you are.
BIRTHING CLASS
Thank you, that's lovely, Mum.
I'll just
So this doesn't fall over.
Göran, the bathroom.
Now.
Eva, it was meant to be funny.
But maybe it was the wrong thing?
No, no. It's really great.
That's how it'll be now.
You and me, Mum.
It'll be fantastic.
You know the best part
of having kids for me?
It was that you no longer have time
to just think about yourself.
All thisnavel gazing.
-Right.
-You can't be doing that.
It's only because you've got
too much time to think.
Soon you'll have someone
pulling you back to reality.
-Yeah.
-Do you understand?
Mm.
You know,
being in love suited you.
I wasn't in love,
it was just castles in the air.
No, it wasn't.
-Do you want some coffee?
-Oh, stop this now!
Eva.
It's okay that you're not
like I wish you would be,
but I can't watch you
destroy yourself.
Girl, you're sad,
why aren't you sad?
You just push everything away,
it was the same with Dad.
You didn't even cry at his funeral.
You do not get to come here
and tell me how to feel.
I'm not sad, Mum!
I'm not sad at all,
I don't like being sad!
it's such a fucking waste of time,
being sad!
Do you understand?
Maybe I don't even have feelings!
Maybe I'm a psychopath, Mum!
You can decide if you want
controlling psychopath Eva,
who cleans constantly,
or psychopath Eva who's
on the couch being sad all the time.
Is that what you want?
Psychopath might be a little
Oh, no.
My dear child.
-Darling
-I don't want to feel like this.
But you are sad,
everyone is sometimes.
-Yes.
-Yeah.
Mm, dear child.
Excuse me.
We're going bugg dancing,
Göran and I.
Are you choosing him now?
You said it was you and me now.
You're the only one
who's talking to me.
No, no, that's not true at all.
There are so many people
who want to talk to you,
you have so many friends, darling.
Yeah, and we'll talk later.
I'm glad you got to let it all out.
Bye.
the meaning of them.
And rest in that.
Then the grandfather
told the little boy
"The past can hurt,
but you can either run from it,
or learn from it."
And then he said,
"Remember that the flower
that blooms in adversity
is the most
rare and beautiful of all."
Remember that.
Amen.
Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi, it's me.
Yes, I see that, hi.
Well, have a seat, perhaps?
Yes.
So inspiring.
The part about the flower,
is that the word of God?
Mulan.
One of the three wise men?
No, the movie.
The Disney movie, Mulan.
Right, listen.
I've been thinking.
And I've been a bit anti-God.
But if you view the whole thing
as like a coaching situation
Then it's not so bad.
Then it's actually really inspiring.
Yes.
We had a really good conversation
about that the other night.
But the part where you were
going to forget and move on,
that didn't really work out?
Not really.
But
then it came to me.
Yes?
Like an epiphany.
I will become Christian.
Oh
That's not how it works.
It's not a free self-help course,
you have to actually believe.
Are you joking now?
No.
But the house of God is open to all.
Everyone are God's children,
you said.
That's true.
But you have to understand first.
-And choose.
-Yes, I did that.
Youconvinced me.
Convinced you
Christianity is not a sect.
Well, it isn't not a sect,
that's safe to say.
You need to be honest.
You understand that, right?
You should be honest with yourself
and those around you.
Otherwise nothing becomes anything.
What?
You
You need to be true to yourself.
And if you're still interested
in coming back
when you've made your journey,
you will be welcome.
But I agreed
with everything you said.
That it's the past and can be
left behind and learned from.
I'm in agreement with God.
Right, but that wasn't God,
it was a quote from the Lion King.
Quiet.
-Jesus, it's me.
-James, damnit!
I'm sorry.
-I thought you were gonna rape me.
-You're not really my type.
Why the hell
are you sneaking around?
Josefine would kill me
if she knew I was here.
I didn't think you wanted to talk to
me either. Take those off!
I don't want to.
I'm so angry you lied to us.
Mads is the dad, right?
Hello? Mads is the dad?
-Yes.
-You are so fucking crazy.
I'm so disappointed in you,
do you understand that?
-I'm mad at you.
-Yeah and I'm mad at you.
-And it's your birthday.
-Yes.
Well, Happy Birthday.
Oh, stop it.
Get back on the horse.
Jesus, I'm heartbroken once a week.
-At least.
-I'm not heartbroken, this is
-I don't know who I am anymore.
-No.
Oh, who does?
It's nice to know you're human.
Welcome to reality
outside your little bubble.
I'll tell you,
it's the Hunger Games out here.
I've never had to see myself
reflected in someone else before.
Then I met Mads, and I saw
what a terrible person I am.
Did you know the brain works
like a psychopath's brain?
When you're in love, I mean.
-What?
-Yeah.
You turn into someone else.
-You're saying I'm a psychopath?
-Absolutely.
But on the other hand,
then you know
-that you really were in love.
-No.
Yes, yes, yes.
I don't think this is working.
You feeling like this.
You know, I can't really come
to terms with this situation.
You're the one who's supposed to
have her life in order.
Who am I in all this anxiety?
And Josefine, who's
It makes me panic.
What about Josefine.
-Nothing.
-Yes.
-Yes.
-No.
-Tell me.
-No, it was nothing.
-Yes, tell me
-It's nothing.
She cheated on Nils.
But don't tell her I told you.
She cheated? Why didn't she tell me?
Well you can think about why
she hasn't told you.
You can't lay here like this,
pull yourself together
before you pop that kid out.
It can't be born
into this anxiety batter.
Can't I just lay here and be sad?
I'm never sad.
You hate people
who feel sorry for themselves.
Even more reason to hate myself.
So what's your plan?
Laying here, alone on your birthday,
hating yourself?
That sound so lovely.
Yeah.
Hey
I've been thinking.
Maybe I could be the child's dad?
-Maybe
-I'm just joking!
-You are so sick.
-You believed me.
Can you imagine anything worse
than you and I as parents?
I got you.
Come on now, we're in a hurry.
Where are we going?
Come on.
I'm giving you
your birthday present.
-No.
-Yes.
Birthing class, come on,
let's go breathe with our pussies.
-No.
-Oh, you're doing great.
Use your ass, perfect.
What is this place?
It's a rage room.
What's that?
Hey!
-Great!
-What the hell, James.
I can't take this anymore, it's like
being in the middle of a divorce
where both parents
are in a midlife crisis.
Sort this out,
for my sake if nothing else.
Come on, please. Come on!
Let's do this.
James, I can't do this.
I'm not up for this.
Yes, this is gonna be fun!
It's not as if this will make me
forgive Eva for
making me cheat on my husband.
Excuse me?
That's not my fault.
You're an adult, take responsibility.
Oh, right.
Like you, when you've said I'm
the one who made you lie to Mads?
But you told me to.
You told me to lie.
I never fucking told you the cheat.
But it's all your little comments
all the time, getting into my head!
Until finally there was nothing else
I could do!
For fuck's sake!
And I fucking hate macchiato!
Don't drink macchiato then,
if it's so disgusting!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Josefine.
-I'm so sorry.
-No, you know what?
I'm sorry too.
Who am I to judge you?
Do you want to tell me about it?
Yeah.
Look, I love Nils.
I really do and you know that.
But it's so nice to have someone
to make an effort for.
And getting to be that sexy girl.
It's, well
But I really don't know
what's better.
Being with someone you have to make
an effort for, or someone you
can just be with,
without making an effort.
How's it going in here?
Well, thank you, James.
That's so good to hear.
I have to say you're more fun
when you've started living a little.
Finally sleeping around a little.
How was it,
sleeping with someone else?
We didn't, he just fingered me.
-What are you 15?
-What? What would you call it?
Eva?
I thought you were sick.
Good morning, Annelie.
Excuse me for barging in.
I've come to apologise.
And to be honest.
Apologise, for what?
I have lied.
I haven't been sick.
I needed a break
to come to certain insights.
And I would love to accept
the job as superintendent.
Right. So, now you're being honest?
Yes.
And pregnant.
You're pregnant?
But it won't affect anything.
No? So you're telling me is
you've been on sick leave for weeks
without being sick.
And you've lied about a pregnancy.
Yes, but I won't need
a lot of time off.
Mhm, so what's the big insight?
Oh, thatThat'll come.
Well, you're fired.
Effective immediately.
No
-Yes.
-No, that
It's illegal to fire someone
for being pregnant.
Sure, but
going on sick leave without being
sick, that's enough to fire someone.
I was just joking.
You need to eat something Kristine.
Eat your carrot.
-Hi, Mads.
-Kristine isn't eating.
I think she's depressed.
She's a rabbit. Rabbit's can't
get depressed, can they?
You can tell with Kristine,
she's got no joy left.
I think it's because
she lost her partner.
Can't you just put a carrot in her
cage? She'll eat when she's hungry.
She can't eat carrot
when she's alone.
What if it gets stuck in her throat?
She'll be all alone.
But Mads, you do understand
rabbits don't choke on carrots?
But they can be depressed?
Is that how it is?
Here you go.
When I come home, you've eaten them.
Okay? Or we'll have
a very serious talk.
A serious talk.
Hey! Watch out!
-Hey, you.
-Little shit.
Hey! What the hell are you doing?
-What am I doing?
-Yeah, I'm talking to you.
-I'm riding my bike.
-And you think it's fine to
risk other people's lives
to get to work faster?
Mind your own business.
Hang on,
I'm so sick of people like you.
-Like me?
-Who only think of themselves.
Why you think you have the right
to be dangerous in traffic,
risking everyone else?
How do you get like that?
-You wanna know?
-Yes I do.
I think you should
go home and get some rest.
-I'm not done with you.
-Yes, I'm going home.
-No you don't.
-Let go of my bike.
-Yeah, that's what you get, let go.
-Stop it.
-Give it to me. I'm taking this now.
-Give me my bike!
-Let go.
-Not the frame.
No, not the frame.
Okay, I'll call the police then.
Knock it off.
Stop that.
I told you to stop.
No, for fuck's sake!
-Say hello to the camera.
-Hello, camera.
This strange man is kicking my bike.
Not the frame!
Go away!
I'll call the police.
-How the hell do I do this?!
-Stop that!
Go away!
No I won't, it's my bike!
Go away, I said!
Stop, no!
I'm sorry. I know you shouldn't
break other people's things.
-I
-Would you just shut up?
Oh you're fucking with me.
You can't be serious, we meet again.
-Hey, Preben.
-Yeah, hi.
-Hi.
-Yeah.
I get transferred to Copenhagen
and the first thing I see
is my best childhood friend.
-Insane.
-Yeah.
Insane.
But I'd like to hear
what's going on here.
I understand someone's been jumping
on other people's bikes?
-Yes, there was.
-Yeah.
That idiot over there.
He completely wrecked my bike.
Was that you?
-Yes.
-Okay.
Why
Right, well
I think you need to
come with me to the station.
Are youReally?
-Yeah.
-He was riding like crazy,
-could've killed someone.
-What?
-Yeah, seriously.
-You assaulted me.
-I did not.
-Yes, you did.
-What assault?
-You slapped my hand.
I assaulted your bike.
Your bike has been assaulted,
his bike
-I cut myself on your watch.
-You cut yourself?
-Yeah, it really hurts. Look here.
-It's a shame about your bike.
-Hey!
-I apologised for that.
Nowas I said,
you'll come to the station.
Yeah, you'd better.
But
Don't you need my name?
Just stay there.
-My name?
-Your name?
Yes.
No, we already have it.
-You do?
-Yeah.
It goes straight to the database.
-You don't have my name.
-Yes, I do.
-Okay.
-Good.
Don't you ride that bike now,
it's dangerous in traffic.
-I don't think I could.
-No
Alright, you're coming with me.
Come with me.
Where is it?
-The police station?
-No, the bar, obviously.
Oh
-How am I supposed to get home?
-Right, watch your head.
Don't ride that bike home,
it's really dangerous.
-Hey.
-We'll just
-Where is it?
-Take a right at the intersection.
Then just drive down Kartoffelgade.
-Over there?
-Yeah.
-Kartoffelgade?
-Yeah.
-Stop for a minute, man.
-Yeah?
-This is all yours?
-It's mine.
Shut up.
This is cool.
Oops, I got a little
So
-So you live in Copenhagen now?
-Yes.
-Didn't see that coming, did you?
-No.
And these? You brew them yourself?
-We make them ourselves.
-Your own making?
-Yeah, they're really popular.
-Yeah, cool.
How about a little taste test?
Yeah but aren't you on the clock?
It's lunch.
There's no one there.
Back in Denmark.
-So, what do we have here?
-There you go.
Sour ale?
-A lot of flavour in that.
-Good?
-Oh yes, are you crazy?
-I'm glad.
Preben
It's nice you're here,
but I'm behind on everything.
-I haven't been home long
-Oh, right
Where were you?
I was in Sweden.
Okay, why were you there?
I was manipulated.
-By a woman, I assume.
-No, I have no woman.
What about kids?
-Do you have any?
-Nope.
No rush with that.
Heaps of time, you'll get there.
I'm not rushing,
I'm not going to have kids.
That's what they all say.
Right up until her ovaries start
rumbling.
Why is it so hard
for people to understand
not everyone wants kids?
Not everyone wants the same thing,
is that incomprehensible?
There's no shortage of people,
the world is overpopulated.
People with kids don't need
to pressure us into it.
Everyone needs a nuclear family?
It's fine.
I don't know
that it's really likepressuring.
You can be happy without kids.
-Yes.
-Don't feel sorry for me.
-I chose this, I'm fine.
-Yes.
Right, butOh, hang on.
Yes?
Copy that. They need me now,
so I think I'll
-It was great to see you.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
-About kids and that
-Yeah?
I just think that my kids will be
the ones who change the world.
So there's room for them.
Oh, that wasShouldn't do that
Let'sYep.
That beer shouldn't be there,
it's
-Of course, take it.
-Yeah.
I'll put something over it and have
it whenSince you opened it.
-See you.
-Bye.
Hi, Kristine.
Still depressed?
Yeah, I guess I'm not
doing that well either.
Should we be depressed together?
Watch a horror movie?
Are you having a nap?
Kristine?
Fuck
You cannot be serious.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Are you kidding me?
Hi, Agnes.
Hi, Mads.
I think
I think Kristine might be dead.
Damnit, Mads, you're on speaker.
-Is it dead?
-Fuck.
How was I supposed to know?
-Mum, answer me, is it dead?
-No, honey, listen,
Uncle Mads is just joking.
Right Uncle Mads?
-Yeah, I'm just kidding, man.
-Is it dead?
Why is he joking about
it being dead?
What did you do?
I didn't do anything.
Do you think I killed your rabbit?
What are you saying?
-In English, please.
-It was your fault actually.
-It was the carrot.
-Oh shut up, that's so typical you.
-What are you talking about?
-Just blaming other people.
What? Where's this coming from?
You know what? Never mind.
They don't play with it anymore.
I'm just gonna say
that we took the rabbit
and put it on a farm so other kids
could play with it and be happy.
-The classic.
-Yep.
Okay. But, like
What should I do with her?
I guess she needs to be buried?
-Buried?
-Should we have speeches, or?
Oh honestly, could you not
be so sensitive all the time?
It's just a rabbit,
you can just throw it out.
-I'm gonna buy them a new one
-Throw it out?
-Yes.
-She's a rabbit, not an apple.
-Are you serious?
-She can become compost,
put her in the green bin,
I'll buy them a new rabbit.
-Stop being like this.
-I don't like that.
You're the rabbit killer,
you throw it out.
It was the carrot!
It was a bad way to die, Kristine.
I hope the burial place
makes up for it.
Hi.
Hi, my darling.
Hey there.
What happened?
They think that you might have
had a blood clot in your heart.
But it's okay, the doctors
are great, it'll be great.
Yes, let us see.
I'm so glad you're awake.
-It's so great.
-Yes.
Oh, you're awake.
I've got the results and
they're positive.
I do have a blood clot?
No, no, the news are positive.
-What?
-Yeah.
So, you don't have one.
Okay.
Right, so what happened?
It's very exciting.
You have takotsubo.
It has the exact same symptoms
as a blood clot in your heart,
but it's from the left ventricle
of your heart
taking on a peculiar shape.
It's ampoule-shaped,
instead of oblong.
In layman's terms,
it's called broken heart syndrome.
Yes of course, that's it.
Are you kidding me?
No, it is quite literally
a broken heart.
It happens when
you're in a state of shock.
Often with accompanied by grief.
That makes sense, honey.
That sounds
like it's from a bad movie.
Yes, but it's very serious
and can be life threatening.
It's good you came in when you did.
Fuck, I'm a ridiculous man.
Damnit it, Mads.
It was just a rabbit.
Here's something
for you little broken heart.
I'm not heartbroken, Mum.
It was just
I was angry and I feel stupid.
Okay, why do you feel stupid?
For being like this.
Why can't I just be normal?
Oh god, that sounds boring.
I really thought she was the one.
It felt so right.
She seemed so curious,
asking all these questions.
She wanted to know
everything about me.
You wouldn't if you're not
interested, right?
Come here.
I still don't understand why.
Mads, let's be honest.
You're the one who sought her out,
knocked on her door.
You went to Sweden.
I mean, it's a bit weird.
Yeah, that's true.
I might very well be the problem.
Everything will be fine, darling.
Yeah.
SIX MONTHS LATER
Now I want all the partners
to swap position.
So those who are giving birth can
show how you want to be treated
-Mum, you don't need to.
-when you're giving birth.
Go ahead.
Show me how I should
Lovely.
Good.
To finish,
I want us to take our balls.
And sit on them and rock our hips.
Rock your hips, back and forth.
-Mum, I think I'm meant to
-Back and forth.
And rock.
To the sides.
Great.
It looks so lovely.
I don't understand how you're meant
to know how to care for a child.
Sweetheart.
You have it inside of you.
It's there.
Preschool teachers study for years
to be allowed to care for children.
I get a pamphlet, a pat on the
shoulder, "You can do it."
Just improvise.
It should be illegal.
I think everyone just pretends,
no one knows anything.
And it can't be that hard.
You remember how your parents
did it, just do the opposite.
That was a good one.
-Did you hear that, Göran?
-No, what?
That you do the oppositeHere.
Opposite what?
Oh
How long will you be living here,
Josse?
For as long as Eva lets me.
That's Andreas, I'll open.
No one wants to employ a pregnant,
has-been intendant anyway,
so that suits me
and my economy perfectly.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hey there.
-Andreas.
-Welcome.
-Thank you, hi.
Merry Christmas.
-Hey.
-Hi.
You're going to be a mum now,
let's celebrate.
Let's take the opportunity
to also celebrate
that Göran is my husband to be.
Yes.
And that I have a man.
Where's the champagne?
Oh damnit, I forgot.
-I'll run to the bottle shop.
-No.
No, you can't go to the bottle shop,
the champagne will be warm.
You're heavily pregnant,
you shouldn't be running.
No, right, that's what I meant too.
It's around the corner, I'll go.
That's not what I meant
-But listen
-Let's start.
Yes, thanks.
EVA'S PILSNER
Oh for fuck's sake
Karl-Otto if it's a boy, I think.
-Karl-Otto is nice.
-This is nice with
-I have to tell Mads.
-Oh stop.
-No, focus Eva.
-You've moved on from that.
I can't have this child without
telling him, I have to go tell him.
-This is the hormones talking.
-No.
-Yes.
-Absolutely not.
This is the most clearly
I've thought for a long time.
My child won't be born into a lie.
-What if you give birth in Denmark?
-I'll go for one day.
Oh, that's not great
for the environment.
You're too new to have an opinion.
-Then we'll come with you.
-Yes, we'll come.
-No.
-Yes.
I have to go alone.
-Oh my goodness, it's you.
-Oh my goodness, it's you.
Again. And I thought
it would be a boring day.
Is it his?
Yes. It is.
I want to check in for Copenhagen,
I have a ticket this time.
Wow, it feels
like I'm in a movie, again.
Where are the cameras?
-And how far along are you?
-Three more weeks.
-Oh, that's soon.
-Yes.
-That's a shame.
-What?
Well, you're not allowed to fly
past your 7th month.
So, it won't be a fun day after all.
-But can't you
-Merry Christmas.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Merry Christmas.
We need to talk.
-Are you serious?
-Yes.
I don't want anything from you,
but I want you to
-know the truth.
-Okay.
Did you and your
Swedish man break up?
What? No, there wasn't one.
Oh, okay. Another lie, exciting.
Anyway,
I saw your beer in the bottle shop.
Yes, I tried to change the name
but it was too late.
If you just give me two minutes,
-you never have to see me again.
-Eva
What happened in Sweden,
it was nothing.
I don't know what I was thinking.
It was some kind of escape.
We needed to move on or
It was for me at least,
and now I've moved on.
-It's all good, but please leave.
-The child is yours.
I can't take any more lies.
Eva, please leave.
No, damnit
Oh, fucking shit.
What's going on?
I
I think my water broke.
-It broke
-Or I peed
-Are you giving birth now?
-There's heaps of water.
-You came here to give birth?
-I have to go to Sweden.
-You can't go to Sweden now.
-Shh!
I'm not giving birth in Denmark.
Don't you get that?
I'm not having a bloody Danish kid.
Taxi!
Taxi.
-Where are you going?
-The hospital. In Sweden.
-Drive to the hospital in Sweden.
-I don't quite understand you.
Drive to the hospital in Sweden.
WhatI don't understand her.
The hospital, she's having a baby,
you could've figured that out.
Listen, I've learnt to never ask
a woman if she's pregnant.
You can relax, it's just scary to
become a dad for the first time.
ThatI'm not becoming a dad.
That's not it.
I think I'm having my baby
in Denmark.
-For fuck's sake.
-How do you think I feel?!
Listen, stay calm.
You need to talk to each other.
Talk to each other, go on.
I just wanted to tell you
you're gonna be a dad, then leave.
-This is not what I intended.
-This is really crazy.
She's lying,
I'm not gonna be a dad.
Sperm.
-It's your sperm.
-What?
You donated sperm,
I looked you up online.
It's my sperm?
And then you tracked me down?
Yes, it was really stupid.
Totally absurd, idiotic,
I hate myself.
But I did, then it was nice when
we met and I thought you were great,
and I thought maybe being
in a couple was for me,
and I would have some nice
Mum, Dad, child time.
But I don't want a partner, I
thoughtI'm not in love with you!
So that's why you were interested,
it wasn't
ThatI could report you for that.
Do what you need to do, okay?
I just wanted you to know.
That's so insanely selfish!
What do you want me to do
with that information?
-What do I do with that?
-So
Should we just go to the hospital?
Help me! I can't do this alone!
Help me.
There, there, take it easy.
That's easy for you to say!
What's your pain level at?
What are you saying?
I don't understand.
Fucking Danes!
Get me a fucking Swede!
Is there anything you need?
Drugs. I want drugs.
Isn't that what this country is
known for? Give me drugs.
-It's on its way.
-What? What did she say?
What's her fucked up accent?
-What did she say?
-It's on its way.
No. No, it's poo.
No, it just feels that way.
It doesn't feel like taking a shit,
pushing a child out your vagina!
No, it's not possible!
Look at me.
I really don't care what your
relationship is or why you're here.
But that woman, who you clearly
know, is about to give birth.
Take it easy,
this is not about you now.
Okay.
There.
And push.
What?
-Push.
-Push, it's time to push.
Push, push, push, that's good, Eva!
Yeah.
There.
There, my little friend.
Hey
Hey.
plint.com
Hi, Annelie, it's
It's Eva, but I'm feeling
under the weather today as well.
Yeah. Yes, unfortunately.
Yes, thank you.
We'll talk later, bye.
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Eva,
Happy Birthday to you
Thank you, I'd actually forgotten.
-Happy Birth
-I think that's enough.
Happy Birthday.
Can we come in?
Mm, yes.
Happy Birthday, sweetheart.
Hi.
-Oh
-Jesus.
Right
-You're cleaning.
-Yes.
Eva, are you okay?
Yes, it just felt good
to clear out the old stuff.
Get things back to normal here.
It turns out to be really
convenient, calling in sick.
ListenMads? Where
Who?
No, I'm just joking.
No, he left.
It feels like such a relief.
Such a relief.
James and Josse,
what do they think?
It doesn't matter what they think.
Have a seat.
You seem a little strange.
Me? I'm doing great,
I'm just really happy.
-Right.
-There.
But let's open some presents,
that'll be nice.
Yeah.
A little flower. But
Here you are.
BIRTHING CLASS
Thank you, that's lovely, Mum.
I'll just
So this doesn't fall over.
Göran, the bathroom.
Now.
Eva, it was meant to be funny.
But maybe it was the wrong thing?
No, no. It's really great.
That's how it'll be now.
You and me, Mum.
It'll be fantastic.
You know the best part
of having kids for me?
It was that you no longer have time
to just think about yourself.
All thisnavel gazing.
-Right.
-You can't be doing that.
It's only because you've got
too much time to think.
Soon you'll have someone
pulling you back to reality.
-Yeah.
-Do you understand?
Mm.
You know,
being in love suited you.
I wasn't in love,
it was just castles in the air.
No, it wasn't.
-Do you want some coffee?
-Oh, stop this now!
Eva.
It's okay that you're not
like I wish you would be,
but I can't watch you
destroy yourself.
Girl, you're sad,
why aren't you sad?
You just push everything away,
it was the same with Dad.
You didn't even cry at his funeral.
You do not get to come here
and tell me how to feel.
I'm not sad, Mum!
I'm not sad at all,
I don't like being sad!
it's such a fucking waste of time,
being sad!
Do you understand?
Maybe I don't even have feelings!
Maybe I'm a psychopath, Mum!
You can decide if you want
controlling psychopath Eva,
who cleans constantly,
or psychopath Eva who's
on the couch being sad all the time.
Is that what you want?
Psychopath might be a little
Oh, no.
My dear child.
-Darling
-I don't want to feel like this.
But you are sad,
everyone is sometimes.
-Yes.
-Yeah.
Mm, dear child.
Excuse me.
We're going bugg dancing,
Göran and I.
Are you choosing him now?
You said it was you and me now.
You're the only one
who's talking to me.
No, no, that's not true at all.
There are so many people
who want to talk to you,
you have so many friends, darling.
Yeah, and we'll talk later.
I'm glad you got to let it all out.
Bye.
the meaning of them.
And rest in that.
Then the grandfather
told the little boy
"The past can hurt,
but you can either run from it,
or learn from it."
And then he said,
"Remember that the flower
that blooms in adversity
is the most
rare and beautiful of all."
Remember that.
Amen.
Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi, it's me.
Yes, I see that, hi.
Well, have a seat, perhaps?
Yes.
So inspiring.
The part about the flower,
is that the word of God?
Mulan.
One of the three wise men?
No, the movie.
The Disney movie, Mulan.
Right, listen.
I've been thinking.
And I've been a bit anti-God.
But if you view the whole thing
as like a coaching situation
Then it's not so bad.
Then it's actually really inspiring.
Yes.
We had a really good conversation
about that the other night.
But the part where you were
going to forget and move on,
that didn't really work out?
Not really.
But
then it came to me.
Yes?
Like an epiphany.
I will become Christian.
Oh
That's not how it works.
It's not a free self-help course,
you have to actually believe.
Are you joking now?
No.
But the house of God is open to all.
Everyone are God's children,
you said.
That's true.
But you have to understand first.
-And choose.
-Yes, I did that.
Youconvinced me.
Convinced you
Christianity is not a sect.
Well, it isn't not a sect,
that's safe to say.
You need to be honest.
You understand that, right?
You should be honest with yourself
and those around you.
Otherwise nothing becomes anything.
What?
You
You need to be true to yourself.
And if you're still interested
in coming back
when you've made your journey,
you will be welcome.
But I agreed
with everything you said.
That it's the past and can be
left behind and learned from.
I'm in agreement with God.
Right, but that wasn't God,
it was a quote from the Lion King.
Quiet.
-Jesus, it's me.
-James, damnit!
I'm sorry.
-I thought you were gonna rape me.
-You're not really my type.
Why the hell
are you sneaking around?
Josefine would kill me
if she knew I was here.
I didn't think you wanted to talk to
me either. Take those off!
I don't want to.
I'm so angry you lied to us.
Mads is the dad, right?
Hello? Mads is the dad?
-Yes.
-You are so fucking crazy.
I'm so disappointed in you,
do you understand that?
-I'm mad at you.
-Yeah and I'm mad at you.
-And it's your birthday.
-Yes.
Well, Happy Birthday.
Oh, stop it.
Get back on the horse.
Jesus, I'm heartbroken once a week.
-At least.
-I'm not heartbroken, this is
-I don't know who I am anymore.
-No.
Oh, who does?
It's nice to know you're human.
Welcome to reality
outside your little bubble.
I'll tell you,
it's the Hunger Games out here.
I've never had to see myself
reflected in someone else before.
Then I met Mads, and I saw
what a terrible person I am.
Did you know the brain works
like a psychopath's brain?
When you're in love, I mean.
-What?
-Yeah.
You turn into someone else.
-You're saying I'm a psychopath?
-Absolutely.
But on the other hand,
then you know
-that you really were in love.
-No.
Yes, yes, yes.
I don't think this is working.
You feeling like this.
You know, I can't really come
to terms with this situation.
You're the one who's supposed to
have her life in order.
Who am I in all this anxiety?
And Josefine, who's
It makes me panic.
What about Josefine.
-Nothing.
-Yes.
-Yes.
-No.
-Tell me.
-No, it was nothing.
-Yes, tell me
-It's nothing.
She cheated on Nils.
But don't tell her I told you.
She cheated? Why didn't she tell me?
Well you can think about why
she hasn't told you.
You can't lay here like this,
pull yourself together
before you pop that kid out.
It can't be born
into this anxiety batter.
Can't I just lay here and be sad?
I'm never sad.
You hate people
who feel sorry for themselves.
Even more reason to hate myself.
So what's your plan?
Laying here, alone on your birthday,
hating yourself?
That sound so lovely.
Yeah.
Hey
I've been thinking.
Maybe I could be the child's dad?
-Maybe
-I'm just joking!
-You are so sick.
-You believed me.
Can you imagine anything worse
than you and I as parents?
I got you.
Come on now, we're in a hurry.
Where are we going?
Come on.
I'm giving you
your birthday present.
-No.
-Yes.
Birthing class, come on,
let's go breathe with our pussies.
-No.
-Oh, you're doing great.
Use your ass, perfect.
What is this place?
It's a rage room.
What's that?
Hey!
-Great!
-What the hell, James.
I can't take this anymore, it's like
being in the middle of a divorce
where both parents
are in a midlife crisis.
Sort this out,
for my sake if nothing else.
Come on, please. Come on!
Let's do this.
James, I can't do this.
I'm not up for this.
Yes, this is gonna be fun!
It's not as if this will make me
forgive Eva for
making me cheat on my husband.
Excuse me?
That's not my fault.
You're an adult, take responsibility.
Oh, right.
Like you, when you've said I'm
the one who made you lie to Mads?
But you told me to.
You told me to lie.
I never fucking told you the cheat.
But it's all your little comments
all the time, getting into my head!
Until finally there was nothing else
I could do!
For fuck's sake!
And I fucking hate macchiato!
Don't drink macchiato then,
if it's so disgusting!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Josefine.
-I'm so sorry.
-No, you know what?
I'm sorry too.
Who am I to judge you?
Do you want to tell me about it?
Yeah.
Look, I love Nils.
I really do and you know that.
But it's so nice to have someone
to make an effort for.
And getting to be that sexy girl.
It's, well
But I really don't know
what's better.
Being with someone you have to make
an effort for, or someone you
can just be with,
without making an effort.
How's it going in here?
Well, thank you, James.
That's so good to hear.
I have to say you're more fun
when you've started living a little.
Finally sleeping around a little.
How was it,
sleeping with someone else?
We didn't, he just fingered me.
-What are you 15?
-What? What would you call it?
Eva?
I thought you were sick.
Good morning, Annelie.
Excuse me for barging in.
I've come to apologise.
And to be honest.
Apologise, for what?
I have lied.
I haven't been sick.
I needed a break
to come to certain insights.
And I would love to accept
the job as superintendent.
Right. So, now you're being honest?
Yes.
And pregnant.
You're pregnant?
But it won't affect anything.
No? So you're telling me is
you've been on sick leave for weeks
without being sick.
And you've lied about a pregnancy.
Yes, but I won't need
a lot of time off.
Mhm, so what's the big insight?
Oh, thatThat'll come.
Well, you're fired.
Effective immediately.
No
-Yes.
-No, that
It's illegal to fire someone
for being pregnant.
Sure, but
going on sick leave without being
sick, that's enough to fire someone.
I was just joking.
You need to eat something Kristine.
Eat your carrot.
-Hi, Mads.
-Kristine isn't eating.
I think she's depressed.
She's a rabbit. Rabbit's can't
get depressed, can they?
You can tell with Kristine,
she's got no joy left.
I think it's because
she lost her partner.
Can't you just put a carrot in her
cage? She'll eat when she's hungry.
She can't eat carrot
when she's alone.
What if it gets stuck in her throat?
She'll be all alone.
But Mads, you do understand
rabbits don't choke on carrots?
But they can be depressed?
Is that how it is?
Here you go.
When I come home, you've eaten them.
Okay? Or we'll have
a very serious talk.
A serious talk.
Hey! Watch out!
-Hey, you.
-Little shit.
Hey! What the hell are you doing?
-What am I doing?
-Yeah, I'm talking to you.
-I'm riding my bike.
-And you think it's fine to
risk other people's lives
to get to work faster?
Mind your own business.
Hang on,
I'm so sick of people like you.
-Like me?
-Who only think of themselves.
Why you think you have the right
to be dangerous in traffic,
risking everyone else?
How do you get like that?
-You wanna know?
-Yes I do.
I think you should
go home and get some rest.
-I'm not done with you.
-Yes, I'm going home.
-No you don't.
-Let go of my bike.
-Yeah, that's what you get, let go.
-Stop it.
-Give it to me. I'm taking this now.
-Give me my bike!
-Let go.
-Not the frame.
No, not the frame.
Okay, I'll call the police then.
Knock it off.
Stop that.
I told you to stop.
No, for fuck's sake!
-Say hello to the camera.
-Hello, camera.
This strange man is kicking my bike.
Not the frame!
Go away!
I'll call the police.
-How the hell do I do this?!
-Stop that!
Go away!
No I won't, it's my bike!
Go away, I said!
Stop, no!
I'm sorry. I know you shouldn't
break other people's things.
-I
-Would you just shut up?
Oh you're fucking with me.
You can't be serious, we meet again.
-Hey, Preben.
-Yeah, hi.
-Hi.
-Yeah.
I get transferred to Copenhagen
and the first thing I see
is my best childhood friend.
-Insane.
-Yeah.
Insane.
But I'd like to hear
what's going on here.
I understand someone's been jumping
on other people's bikes?
-Yes, there was.
-Yeah.
That idiot over there.
He completely wrecked my bike.
Was that you?
-Yes.
-Okay.
Why
Right, well
I think you need to
come with me to the station.
Are youReally?
-Yeah.
-He was riding like crazy,
-could've killed someone.
-What?
-Yeah, seriously.
-You assaulted me.
-I did not.
-Yes, you did.
-What assault?
-You slapped my hand.
I assaulted your bike.
Your bike has been assaulted,
his bike
-I cut myself on your watch.
-You cut yourself?
-Yeah, it really hurts. Look here.
-It's a shame about your bike.
-Hey!
-I apologised for that.
Nowas I said,
you'll come to the station.
Yeah, you'd better.
But
Don't you need my name?
Just stay there.
-My name?
-Your name?
Yes.
No, we already have it.
-You do?
-Yeah.
It goes straight to the database.
-You don't have my name.
-Yes, I do.
-Okay.
-Good.
Don't you ride that bike now,
it's dangerous in traffic.
-I don't think I could.
-No
Alright, you're coming with me.
Come with me.
Where is it?
-The police station?
-No, the bar, obviously.
Oh
-How am I supposed to get home?
-Right, watch your head.
Don't ride that bike home,
it's really dangerous.
-Hey.
-We'll just
-Where is it?
-Take a right at the intersection.
Then just drive down Kartoffelgade.
-Over there?
-Yeah.
-Kartoffelgade?
-Yeah.
-Stop for a minute, man.
-Yeah?
-This is all yours?
-It's mine.
Shut up.
This is cool.
Oops, I got a little
So
-So you live in Copenhagen now?
-Yes.
-Didn't see that coming, did you?
-No.
And these? You brew them yourself?
-We make them ourselves.
-Your own making?
-Yeah, they're really popular.
-Yeah, cool.
How about a little taste test?
Yeah but aren't you on the clock?
It's lunch.
There's no one there.
Back in Denmark.
-So, what do we have here?
-There you go.
Sour ale?
-A lot of flavour in that.
-Good?
-Oh yes, are you crazy?
-I'm glad.
Preben
It's nice you're here,
but I'm behind on everything.
-I haven't been home long
-Oh, right
Where were you?
I was in Sweden.
Okay, why were you there?
I was manipulated.
-By a woman, I assume.
-No, I have no woman.
What about kids?
-Do you have any?
-Nope.
No rush with that.
Heaps of time, you'll get there.
I'm not rushing,
I'm not going to have kids.
That's what they all say.
Right up until her ovaries start
rumbling.
Why is it so hard
for people to understand
not everyone wants kids?
Not everyone wants the same thing,
is that incomprehensible?
There's no shortage of people,
the world is overpopulated.
People with kids don't need
to pressure us into it.
Everyone needs a nuclear family?
It's fine.
I don't know
that it's really likepressuring.
You can be happy without kids.
-Yes.
-Don't feel sorry for me.
-I chose this, I'm fine.
-Yes.
Right, butOh, hang on.
Yes?
Copy that. They need me now,
so I think I'll
-It was great to see you.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
-About kids and that
-Yeah?
I just think that my kids will be
the ones who change the world.
So there's room for them.
Oh, that wasShouldn't do that
Let'sYep.
That beer shouldn't be there,
it's
-Of course, take it.
-Yeah.
I'll put something over it and have
it whenSince you opened it.
-See you.
-Bye.
Hi, Kristine.
Still depressed?
Yeah, I guess I'm not
doing that well either.
Should we be depressed together?
Watch a horror movie?
Are you having a nap?
Kristine?
Fuck
You cannot be serious.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Are you kidding me?
Hi, Agnes.
Hi, Mads.
I think
I think Kristine might be dead.
Damnit, Mads, you're on speaker.
-Is it dead?
-Fuck.
How was I supposed to know?
-Mum, answer me, is it dead?
-No, honey, listen,
Uncle Mads is just joking.
Right Uncle Mads?
-Yeah, I'm just kidding, man.
-Is it dead?
Why is he joking about
it being dead?
What did you do?
I didn't do anything.
Do you think I killed your rabbit?
What are you saying?
-In English, please.
-It was your fault actually.
-It was the carrot.
-Oh shut up, that's so typical you.
-What are you talking about?
-Just blaming other people.
What? Where's this coming from?
You know what? Never mind.
They don't play with it anymore.
I'm just gonna say
that we took the rabbit
and put it on a farm so other kids
could play with it and be happy.
-The classic.
-Yep.
Okay. But, like
What should I do with her?
I guess she needs to be buried?
-Buried?
-Should we have speeches, or?
Oh honestly, could you not
be so sensitive all the time?
It's just a rabbit,
you can just throw it out.
-I'm gonna buy them a new one
-Throw it out?
-Yes.
-She's a rabbit, not an apple.
-Are you serious?
-She can become compost,
put her in the green bin,
I'll buy them a new rabbit.
-Stop being like this.
-I don't like that.
You're the rabbit killer,
you throw it out.
It was the carrot!
It was a bad way to die, Kristine.
I hope the burial place
makes up for it.
Hi.
Hi, my darling.
Hey there.
What happened?
They think that you might have
had a blood clot in your heart.
But it's okay, the doctors
are great, it'll be great.
Yes, let us see.
I'm so glad you're awake.
-It's so great.
-Yes.
Oh, you're awake.
I've got the results and
they're positive.
I do have a blood clot?
No, no, the news are positive.
-What?
-Yeah.
So, you don't have one.
Okay.
Right, so what happened?
It's very exciting.
You have takotsubo.
It has the exact same symptoms
as a blood clot in your heart,
but it's from the left ventricle
of your heart
taking on a peculiar shape.
It's ampoule-shaped,
instead of oblong.
In layman's terms,
it's called broken heart syndrome.
Yes of course, that's it.
Are you kidding me?
No, it is quite literally
a broken heart.
It happens when
you're in a state of shock.
Often with accompanied by grief.
That makes sense, honey.
That sounds
like it's from a bad movie.
Yes, but it's very serious
and can be life threatening.
It's good you came in when you did.
Fuck, I'm a ridiculous man.
Damnit it, Mads.
It was just a rabbit.
Here's something
for you little broken heart.
I'm not heartbroken, Mum.
It was just
I was angry and I feel stupid.
Okay, why do you feel stupid?
For being like this.
Why can't I just be normal?
Oh god, that sounds boring.
I really thought she was the one.
It felt so right.
She seemed so curious,
asking all these questions.
She wanted to know
everything about me.
You wouldn't if you're not
interested, right?
Come here.
I still don't understand why.
Mads, let's be honest.
You're the one who sought her out,
knocked on her door.
You went to Sweden.
I mean, it's a bit weird.
Yeah, that's true.
I might very well be the problem.
Everything will be fine, darling.
Yeah.
SIX MONTHS LATER
Now I want all the partners
to swap position.
So those who are giving birth can
show how you want to be treated
-Mum, you don't need to.
-when you're giving birth.
Go ahead.
Show me how I should
Lovely.
Good.
To finish,
I want us to take our balls.
And sit on them and rock our hips.
Rock your hips, back and forth.
-Mum, I think I'm meant to
-Back and forth.
And rock.
To the sides.
Great.
It looks so lovely.
I don't understand how you're meant
to know how to care for a child.
Sweetheart.
You have it inside of you.
It's there.
Preschool teachers study for years
to be allowed to care for children.
I get a pamphlet, a pat on the
shoulder, "You can do it."
Just improvise.
It should be illegal.
I think everyone just pretends,
no one knows anything.
And it can't be that hard.
You remember how your parents
did it, just do the opposite.
That was a good one.
-Did you hear that, Göran?
-No, what?
That you do the oppositeHere.
Opposite what?
Oh
How long will you be living here,
Josse?
For as long as Eva lets me.
That's Andreas, I'll open.
No one wants to employ a pregnant,
has-been intendant anyway,
so that suits me
and my economy perfectly.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hey there.
-Andreas.
-Welcome.
-Thank you, hi.
Merry Christmas.
-Hey.
-Hi.
You're going to be a mum now,
let's celebrate.
Let's take the opportunity
to also celebrate
that Göran is my husband to be.
Yes.
And that I have a man.
Where's the champagne?
Oh damnit, I forgot.
-I'll run to the bottle shop.
-No.
No, you can't go to the bottle shop,
the champagne will be warm.
You're heavily pregnant,
you shouldn't be running.
No, right, that's what I meant too.
It's around the corner, I'll go.
That's not what I meant
-But listen
-Let's start.
Yes, thanks.
EVA'S PILSNER
Oh for fuck's sake
Karl-Otto if it's a boy, I think.
-Karl-Otto is nice.
-This is nice with
-I have to tell Mads.
-Oh stop.
-No, focus Eva.
-You've moved on from that.
I can't have this child without
telling him, I have to go tell him.
-This is the hormones talking.
-No.
-Yes.
-Absolutely not.
This is the most clearly
I've thought for a long time.
My child won't be born into a lie.
-What if you give birth in Denmark?
-I'll go for one day.
Oh, that's not great
for the environment.
You're too new to have an opinion.
-Then we'll come with you.
-Yes, we'll come.
-No.
-Yes.
I have to go alone.
-Oh my goodness, it's you.
-Oh my goodness, it's you.
Again. And I thought
it would be a boring day.
Is it his?
Yes. It is.
I want to check in for Copenhagen,
I have a ticket this time.
Wow, it feels
like I'm in a movie, again.
Where are the cameras?
-And how far along are you?
-Three more weeks.
-Oh, that's soon.
-Yes.
-That's a shame.
-What?
Well, you're not allowed to fly
past your 7th month.
So, it won't be a fun day after all.
-But can't you
-Merry Christmas.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Merry Christmas.
We need to talk.
-Are you serious?
-Yes.
I don't want anything from you,
but I want you to
-know the truth.
-Okay.
Did you and your
Swedish man break up?
What? No, there wasn't one.
Oh, okay. Another lie, exciting.
Anyway,
I saw your beer in the bottle shop.
Yes, I tried to change the name
but it was too late.
If you just give me two minutes,
-you never have to see me again.
-Eva
What happened in Sweden,
it was nothing.
I don't know what I was thinking.
It was some kind of escape.
We needed to move on or
It was for me at least,
and now I've moved on.
-It's all good, but please leave.
-The child is yours.
I can't take any more lies.
Eva, please leave.
No, damnit
Oh, fucking shit.
What's going on?
I
I think my water broke.
-It broke
-Or I peed
-Are you giving birth now?
-There's heaps of water.
-You came here to give birth?
-I have to go to Sweden.
-You can't go to Sweden now.
-Shh!
I'm not giving birth in Denmark.
Don't you get that?
I'm not having a bloody Danish kid.
Taxi!
Taxi.
-Where are you going?
-The hospital. In Sweden.
-Drive to the hospital in Sweden.
-I don't quite understand you.
Drive to the hospital in Sweden.
WhatI don't understand her.
The hospital, she's having a baby,
you could've figured that out.
Listen, I've learnt to never ask
a woman if she's pregnant.
You can relax, it's just scary to
become a dad for the first time.
ThatI'm not becoming a dad.
That's not it.
I think I'm having my baby
in Denmark.
-For fuck's sake.
-How do you think I feel?!
Listen, stay calm.
You need to talk to each other.
Talk to each other, go on.
I just wanted to tell you
you're gonna be a dad, then leave.
-This is not what I intended.
-This is really crazy.
She's lying,
I'm not gonna be a dad.
Sperm.
-It's your sperm.
-What?
You donated sperm,
I looked you up online.
It's my sperm?
And then you tracked me down?
Yes, it was really stupid.
Totally absurd, idiotic,
I hate myself.
But I did, then it was nice when
we met and I thought you were great,
and I thought maybe being
in a couple was for me,
and I would have some nice
Mum, Dad, child time.
But I don't want a partner, I
thoughtI'm not in love with you!
So that's why you were interested,
it wasn't
ThatI could report you for that.
Do what you need to do, okay?
I just wanted you to know.
That's so insanely selfish!
What do you want me to do
with that information?
-What do I do with that?
-So
Should we just go to the hospital?
Help me! I can't do this alone!
Help me.
There, there, take it easy.
That's easy for you to say!
What's your pain level at?
What are you saying?
I don't understand.
Fucking Danes!
Get me a fucking Swede!
Is there anything you need?
Drugs. I want drugs.
Isn't that what this country is
known for? Give me drugs.
-It's on its way.
-What? What did she say?
What's her fucked up accent?
-What did she say?
-It's on its way.
No. No, it's poo.
No, it just feels that way.
It doesn't feel like taking a shit,
pushing a child out your vagina!
No, it's not possible!
Look at me.
I really don't care what your
relationship is or why you're here.
But that woman, who you clearly
know, is about to give birth.
Take it easy,
this is not about you now.
Okay.
There.
And push.
What?
-Push.
-Push, it's time to push.
Push, push, push, that's good, Eva!
Yeah.
There.
There, my little friend.
Hey
Hey.
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