Alpha Males (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

1
A NETFLIX SERIES
[classical music playing]
What is a man?
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A MAN?
It's becoming unclear.
Traditional masculinity
has always defined itself
by what men do not want to be.
In opposition to mother,
don't wanna be a baby.
In opposition to women,
they avoid being effeminate,
and to other men,
they don't wanna seem homosexual.
Consequently, it's natural that
our role model became the cowboy.
[chuckles]
[instructor] That insensitive hero
lived a thousand adventures
without making a commitment
to anybody or anything.
- [Santi] Mm-hmm.
- [instructor] Are we cowboys?
- [instructor] A bit. Right? Yes.
- [chuckles]
[instructor] Well, I have bad news
for you, macho men.
Because the more fragile
a man is on the inside,
the more he insists on building
a hard shell to compensate for it.
- Traditional masculinity is toxic.
- What?
[instructor] It's not real.
It makes us unhappy.
But the majority of men
who begin their own deconstruction
are often ridiculed,
and they are called "sissies, traitors."
So I ask myself, after all this,
is it a privilege to be a man,
or are we victims of masculinity?
How should we heterosexual men
feel about this new situation?
Bad.
[instructor] How many
consider yourselves sexist?
[audience murmuring]
No one?
One
- No one else?
- Yeah, a little bit.
Guys, we are all sexist.
Yes, we all are.
Because we are raised in that culture.
And this course is an opportunity
to reposition ourselves.
I'm not a sexist guy.
- I'm not a feminist either.
- [Santi] Shh!
- It isn't the same thing at all, man.
- Can you shut up for a minute?
[theme music playing]
HE'S TAKING ME ON A ROMANTIC TRIP TO PARIS
I'M DYING INSIDE
- [Luis] Aww, shit. Um, excuse me, miss.
- [chimes]
There isn't space for my bag up here.
Here, come with me.
- I'll be back.
- [handle clicks]
CALLING
[line ringing]
[attendant] Is everything okay here?
It's 'cause I feel bad for Luis.
I can't do it.
[Luz] When are you gonna tell him?
I just don't know. When we get back.
- And if he wants sex?
- [Luis] Thank you.
Hey, shut it.
Whew! My God, this plane's full.
Hey, we're really going to Paris!
I made a reservation
at a restaurant by the Eiffel Tower.
It cost an arm and a leg, but, hey,
I think we deserve something nice.
- What's wrong? Not feeling well?
- I've just my period, I just got it.
Fuck, that's pretty bad timing.
[exhales]
Is this not working or what?
Oh, it's so hot.
- [grunts]
- [Santi] Come on!
[woman] Come on!
- Great, Elena, great!
- [laughs]
- God damn it, fuck!
- Wake up, dude, okay?
- [Santi] Match ball, you losers.
- [grunts]
[pants, grunts]
- [Pedro groans]
- Yes! Yes!
- That was a shitty return.
- Wow, we did great.
Well played, you guys.
It was pretty close, huh?
- Oh, 6-2, 6-2.
- Yeah.
- That's not close at all. [chuckles]
- You wanna get a drink with us?
- No, my girlfriend's waiting, but thanks.
- You're a lesbian?
You don't look like it.
- 'Cause you're all feminine and stuff.
- Pardon.
- Come on, stop screwing up.
- Don't pay attention, Elena.
Ignore the guy, okay? Bye.
Who knew about this?
Dude, the whole club.
You're so embarrassing, Raúl.
Hey, how are you? How you two doing?
[Santi chuckles]
God damn, what boring chicks.
Just that you seem so desperate, dude.
You scare them off.
I need to sleep with someone now.
Luz is still pissed off.
You usually fuck someone
and then have to make something up,
so she won't suspect you and now,
you gotta pretend you're fucking around.
She gets horny
when I talk about my encounters.
I can't think of what to say.
Think of one of your fantasies
and verbalize it. It's not difficult.
Yes, yes, it is.
Because she pressures me, I freeze up.
Hey, go join Tinder.
That thing's for losers.
Look at this guy. He's all bitter.
And Luis is in Paris.
He's the happiest of all, I'm telling you.
[French music playing]
Oh, wow, I fucking love Paris.
I just can't believe
how beautiful it is, right?
Yes. Really spectacular, yes.
Hey, let's take a selfie
in front of the Eiffel Tower.
- [gasps]
- Huh?
- Luis.
- Aha. Wait, wait, wait.
- Luis, please, can you
- Huh? Ah! [chuckles]
Hang on, hang on, wait.
I've written you something.
You're feeling romantic now?
Well, it's the city of love.
[clears throat, sniffles]
[inhales]
"Esther, my lovely woman,
you're the love of my life."
- I need a break.
- "The day" Shh!
"The night I first saw you, when we
were wasted in Kapital club, hmm?"
- Luis, are you listening to me right now?
- [chuckles] Uh
I I'm not happy.
Thi this isn't working out.
What isn't? The trip?
Me and you.
Do you want a divorce?
No, no, damn it.
No, what I need now is a break.
Okay, and what does that mean?
- I I need some distance now.
- Distance or a break? It's not the same.
I don't know. Don't know what I'm saying.
I feel so bad about it. [sighs]
No, please!
Couldn't you have brought this up before?
The tickets were cheap,
so they're not changeable.
[sniffles]
What are we gonna do
in Paris for two days?
- [sighs]
- Should we go to the Louvre?
[birds chirping]
- [exhales]
- Sir. Sir.
Patricia, I'm trying
to hear these bird sounds, okay?
Sorry, your guests are here.
- What guests?
- Sweetheart.
Look, this is Bea, from the agency.
And Jesús, from Mikku Home Design.
How are you? Oh!
Gonna be decorating our house
in exchange
for an article and a few posts.
- [clicks tongue] Oh.
- We'll start with the living room.
- Yes, yes, of course.
- Okay.
Hey, what's this about?
Oh, it's a low-cost Spanish brand,
but it's awesome.
And they're very capable
of competing with Ikea.
Why do we need furniture?
The house is furnished.
Yes, but we should change it.
It's a bit dull.
Honey, remember what
we discussed about privacy here?
Is this really worth losing it?
My love, don't get upset,
but do we have a choice here?
Come on, honey,
how else will we pay the mortgage?
[sighs] That's my problem though.
Or not.
What do you think
about sharing the mortgage
and adding my name
to the deed to the house?
- Bad idea?
- [scoffs]
- But that's such a hassle.
- A hassle, why? We just go to the notary.
Honey, I get why you're worried,
but you [exhales]
Why do we need to combine all our things?
Fuck, I don't know.
I'm excited to own something together.
We're sharing our lives, right?
Or is this something else?
We share, but without mixing things.
How romantic. That's just great.
Don't worry. Don't worry. I'll go
and tell them to get out of your house.
No, no, forget about it. Yes,
as long as I don't appear in the article.
No, they don't want you to be in it.
[sighs]
BUT WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
- [cell phone chimes]
- [chuckles]
[door opens]
- I BET YOU LIKE SURPRISES
- NOT FROM THE TAX OFFICE
Santiago, breaking news.
- Mom and Alfonso have broken up.
- Whoa, holy shit!
To be precise, Alfonso left Mom.
- He told me while giving me a filling.
- That's what I call karma, huh?
She'll see how it is to have
someone cheat on and then leave her.
There's no one.
He left 'cause he can't stand her.
That's even better. That hurts even more.
I don't know if you should be so happy.
- Now she's gonna have more free time.
- [cell phone chimes]
Damn, speak of the devil.
Answer her or she's gonna call me.
[exhales] Oh, poor thing.
I thought he was having an affair
with the hygienist, but he says he's not.
And there's no one else.
He can't stand me anymore.
Can you believe it? What a weirdo.
Don't torture yourself. There's gotta be
someone else in the picture.
There's always somebody else,
even if they deny it. Always.
With the shitty alimony that you give me,
how am I gonna survive?
Have you not considered
looking for a job at all?
- You think I'm ready to work right now?
- [scoffs]
[cell phone chimes]
And you? You still fucking around?
I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 7
- Yeah, now and then.
- Álex needs to return to the house.
Doesn't it make more sense for Álex
to live at home
while you look for someplace,
I don't know, hmm, somewhere else to stay?
- So that's why you asked me out.
- Huh?
- To kick me out of my house.
- You're the one who called.
[gasps, grunts]
[groans, exhales]
Everything all right, dude?
Ugh, good thing it had cooled down,
or she would've turned me
into Freddy Krueger.
Shit.
Hey, there.
It's on the house, okay?
Cute girls don't pay here.
Raúl, some gin.
You waiting for your boyfriends?
Can you leave us alone
to enjoy our drinks?
I was gonna offer you free drinks,
but you can get your own
and no free olives.
Hey, stop slacking off, dude.
The orders are piling up.
Aníbal can't do it all.
You little narc.
- Hey, I've only got two hands.
- Hello.
How are you, honey?
Have a drink at the bar.
As soon as it eases up, I'll get you.
No, I'll leave you the keys.
I'm going out.
Um, okay.
- [kisses] Ciao.
- [Raúl clears throat]
- Hello, there.
- Hey, if it isn't Mr. Limp Dick.
After 150 times,
you're gonna judge me for one off day?
Honey, life is very unfair.
Well, let's meet up then, huh?
And I can make up for before.
Raúl, whenever I wanna see you,
what do I do?
- You call me.
- Exactly.
Are you gonna call me or not?
I'm getting desperate.
- Raúl!
- [Raúl] Carmen.
Serve at the bar. God!
I was just saying goodbye
to your wife, man.
Go get the gin.
[sighs]
So you're still angry?
And sad. It's a feeling of
don't you come near me.
[inhales] Do you wanna talk?
I know you
always say we don't discuss stuff.
Are you serious?
Pedro Aguilar actually wants
to talk about feelings?
Man, I hate it
when you say I'm not romantic.
Dude, you're so cold, you know.
I'm listening.
Are you joking right now?
No, really,
I wanna know how you're feeling.
[clicks tongue] Well, listen.
[clears throat] I feel like your job has
always been the most important thing,
and now that you finally have some time
for me, you're just doing nothing.
Just, like, nothing.
No, I don't agree.
[Daniela] You didn't wanna get married.
We're in a common law marriage,
which is like a
you're in it, but you're not.
Like, uh, in-between state.
We're in an emotional in-between state.
Daniela, we're just going through a period
of uncertainty, with lots of changes.
It's very natural for us
to feel a bit lost right now.
No, I'm not lost. I'm happy for once,
but I can see that you're not.
And your unhappiness is dampening
my happiness, which is totally shitty.
- Why don't we have a baby?
- What?
We'll just forget about the house.
What greater commitment
than bringing a child into our lives?
I can devote myself to being a father.
[chuckles] Oh, wow, I've been reinvented.
[Cynthia] Instamom.
They'll pay for everything.
Diapers, clothes, even the car seat.
It costs a fortune.
You think about having a baby.
All of a sudden, it's like
I'm not having a baby
just because I can get free diapers.
And you'll get a ton more followers.
- It makes you more human.
- But Pedro and I aren't doing great.
Okay, well, you split up, and that's it.
And you publish a post of you crying.
I mean, people love it when they see
that women like us also have problems.
I don't know. I've always liked
the idea of being a mother, but now
Oh! I'm so focused on my career,
it seems like trouble.
Becoming a mother is
a very radical life change.
- [Daniela] Mmm.
- Take your time. You're still young.
Well, all of a sudden, I'm now 33.
I don't wanna end up
in a fertility clinic either,
taking hormones,
desperately trying
to find my last egg. Nope. [chuckles]
And why do you think your man wants
to be a father all of a sudden?
Well, because he's confused, Mónica.
And don't you think it's a way
of trying to keep you by his side?
No, it's like
he's not the insecure type.
On the contrary.
Because he was always on top.
He wore the pants in your relationship.
But now he's lost that power.
Perhaps now you're finding out
what Pedro's really like.
- Well, that's crazy. No.
- [chuckles]
You have to be a secure man to know how
to be beside a successful woman.
- Hmm.
- You don't have to apologize to anyone.
[Daniela exhales]
- She's screwing someone.
- He already told you she's not.
Get a detective on her.
What do you mean get a detective?
That sounds pricey.
Hmm, could ask Raúl, 'cause
he's always stalking his girlfriends.
What did you do all weekend in Paris?
Went to museums.
The Louvre, the Balzac, the Orsay,
the one with stuffed animals,
the Museum of Sewers.
What the hell? Does that even exist?
What do they do, display dead rats?
- Look, I feel like I've been taxidermied.
- Did you decide? What are you gonna do?
Nothing, she's just bored.
I know she'll come back.
Luis, she up and left you.
Come on now, man, have some dignity.
Says the guy forced
into an open relationship.
Yeah, look at what happened to Santi.
He forgave her
Do we have to talk about me right now?
No, leave it to me.
I know what I gotta do.
[Santi] Ah.
- Okay, but let us know.
- Go for it, Luis.
She's screwing someone else.
I'm sure of it.
[Eugenia] So what do you think was the aim
of the artist in
in this painting? [chuckles]
Hmm, well, it's, uh
You must be bored, huh?
- Hmm, no.
- Oh, I don't know.
You're an architect,
and you have that artistic side.
Just an appraiser.
[laughs] Oh, well, that's great as well.
- Well, really great.
- Well [sighs]
Um, well, then, what should we do?
- My turn.
- That's my ball.
- Oh!
- No, it's all good. Go ahead.
Okay.
Hey!
- Oh! Ah, nobody saw that. Take your shot.
- [laughs]
- [Eugenia] Oh. Ha!
- Hey!
[laughing]
- [Daniela] Darling.
- [Pedro] Hmm.
I love you so much, but a baby now?
Right now? I don't think it's a good idea.
I'm working so much, and you're all like,
hmm, totally confused. You're
Right, I just said that for you.
What for me?
'Cause you were all paranoid about us.
[laughs] Well, don't get all cocky
now that I've told you no.
No, I'm not at all, so
I don't even know why I said it.
[clears throat, exhales]
[shudders] I just
I don't know what's going on.
But
I don't know what to do now.
It's nothing excites me now.
And thought that that having a baby
would at least distract me a little.
Hey, now.
You gotta find yourself a job right now.
Yeah, I've been trying.
I just don't say anything.
It's really hard, Daniela.
[shuddering] Really hard.
I'm gonna go for a ride on my bike.
[Daniela hesitates, exhales]
And if we team up, the two of us?
What, the two of us?
I could use help
with everything I'm doing.
Besides, why would I hire someone
when I know the best executive
in the world?
- Hmm?
- You mean
[inhales] I'd be working for you?
But you'd have your own salary and all.
It'd be so cool. How's it sound to you?
You'd be selling a good product, baby.
[clicks tongue]
[chuckles]
Where is Mom now?
She's at the gym now.
Your mother's been feeling very stressed.
What is stress?
- [door opens]
- It's when you feel anxious.
And start doing stupid things.
Hello, family.
Hello, Mommy.
Why are you so stressed?
I'm gonna take a shower.
Can you come here a second?
Have you have you thought about it?
What?
Well, uh, what we talked about in Paris.
Oh, yeah, yeah,
and please, take as long as you need.
Okay, but how are
we going to organize things?
Things?
Luis, I don't think
we can keep living together.
Oh, and where are you going?
Me? I was thinking
that you could move out.
Me? How come? You're premenopausal.
Your friend Pedro has a huge house.
Uh, honey, we we really have to
think about this calmly, okay?
- We gotta think about the kids.
- No, I'm not calm, no. I'm not doing well.
Imagine how I'm feeling now.
Because there's no one else, right?
Not again. [huffs]
- [Iris] Hey, Dad.
- [hesitates]
- [water running]
- [sighs]
- [tune playing on tablet]
- What are you doing?
Finish your omelet now.
Let me watch Masha and the Bear
while I do.
[Luis groans]
What so impatient.
Hey, who's this handsome guy
with no shirt?
[gasps]
[Iris] Hey, Dad, you took the iPad.
I'm out.
Got a date with this girl on Tinder.
You're on Tinder?
I'm gonna bang her the second I see her
without even saying hello.
- You turned on?
- [Luz] Not really.
I like when you tell me
after the event though.
No spoilers. You'll ruin the excitement.
Okay, okay, well, I'll tell you later.
Damn, Miss Picky over here.
- [pop music playing]
- [chattering, laughing]
Julia.
Whoa. [chuckles]
Uh, no, no, no, no, no.
Uh, this is not gonna work out.
- Why not? We haven't even talked yet.
- Right, I'm sorry.
Really, it's just that
no, have a good one.
You are, you are super sexy ♪
Back so early?
I wasn't into her. I didn't even sit down.
God, you can never trust photos.
- [laughing]
- Uh, well
I gotta say,
I had a really great time, really.
- Me too.
- [laughing]
[both sigh]
[Santi] Well, uh
- Good night. [laughing]
- Ciao.
[laughs, sighs]
Ah, the one that got away,
all over again, huh?
Didn't you see me
give her a kiss, asshole?
By 2040,
you might finally get lucky. [laughs]
Come on, give me some cash for a sandwich.
Yeah, of course,
just for a sandwich, right?
What a bastard.
Why the hell are my personal photos
on the kids' tablet though?
You set it up
with your cell phone account.
And the photo galleries are synced,
you dumbass.
This damn technology. [sighs]
That's why I hate it.
If you'd told him
before you went to Paris,
you'd have saved yourself
from looking like such a shitty person.
All those museums we went to.
And how did he take it?
Well, better than I expected.
God, fucking bitch!
With her goddamn trainer!
Such a fucking slut.
Yeah, hey, let it all out, man,
but be a little less sexist next time.
See, the testosterone's finally working.
I'm the one who encouraged her to go
to the gym. I'm such a fucking idiot.
And this Guillermo guy,
I'd go smash his face in, huh?
The four of us,
we go down to the gym together
and give him ten punches
for every time he screwed your wife.
- How many times is that?
- I don't know. I don't wanna know.
Well, that's not a bad idea.
No, no, no, it's not.
Who the hell do you guys
think you are, Peaky Blinders?
We're taking a course on masculinity,
and here you are
discussing beating up some guy.
- [Raúl] Mm-hmm.
- [Pedro] Uh-huh.
God damn! Fuck, I can't see a thing
with this thing on, honestly.
He won't see a thing after this.
- Shh! What are you doing?
- No, don't go getting me into trouble.
- I'm a police officer.
- Well, that's assault, right?
And besides,
there's cameras everywhere now.
Just what I need,
get suspended and lose my salary.
Cheated on and fired,
what more can you ask from life?
And what's more,
I'm not sure this guy is to blame.
Come on,
Esther could've set some boundaries.
She probably
didn't even say she was married.
Look, he fucked our friend's wife, dude.
We gotta go kick his ass now.
Why didn't you kick
the dentist's ass back then?
That's right.
- We're going there next then.
- No, it's closed now. Damn it.
Hmm. What's the point
in breaking a dentist's teeth anyway?
- He can give himself new teeth
- Hey, look, there he is. Is that him?
- Yeah, I think so.
- What do you mean? Is it him or not?
Well, I've never seen
this guy dressed like this before.
- [Pedro] Wait up, if you're not sure.
- Are we going or not?
- [Santi] I think we should wait, right?
- Yeah, me too.
And he's just been working out, come on.
Better do it at night.
He'll be more tired.
What's his schedule?
- They all work different shifts.
- [Raúl groans]
- Just leave it, he's already gone.
- It's probably for the best.
We know how these things start,
not how they'll end up.
And you guys wanted to do a course
on deconstruction. But why?
You're already deconstructed.
- You sissies.
- That comment is so
[all] Yeah, we know. It's patriarchal.
Exactly, yeah.
Hey, hon, you spend all day on your phone.
- Don't you have to study?
- I haven't had time.
I spent hours to convince Tamara
to have dinner with you.
- Who's Tamara?
- [Álex] Interior designer.
A mixture of laughter,
a mental disorder and a huge heart.
No photos posted,
for professional reasons.
Oh, so she's married or ugly.
Or a babe who wants you
to appreciate her for her.
It's an adventure. Come on.
Honey, it's just
that I don't wanna see Tamara,
because, well,
yesterday I kissed Eugenia. [chuckles]
Who is Eugenia? Don't know her
No. A woman I met the other day,
the old-fashioned way.
What's the old-fashioned way?
In a bar, face-to-face, the way
my generation's always picked up women.
Oh, look, Tamara just responded yes.
I'll book a table.
No, no, but really,
I don't wanna see anyone else
until I see what happens with Eugenia.
Dad, don't limit your options.
It's not like you've got many.
It's getting difficult to get you a match.
Actually, I had
to increase the distance radius.
So your next date
could be down in Chinchón.
Hmm? Okay, okay.
Uh, do I have time for a nap first?
Go shower, you're meeting at nine.
And I left some clothes on the towel rack.
Oh, you're gonna choose what I wear now?
You're welcome. [chuckles]
[Santi] Okay, fine.
- [camera shutter clicking]
- Down a bit. Lower your chin.
- Hello.
- [photographer] That's it. That's good.
Honey, come in. Come in, come in.
[Pedro] How are you? Nice to meet you.
Hey. Manu, my pleasure.
- Hmm. We're done with this one.
- Oh, great.
[both laugh]
- I've got a few more outfit changes to go.
- Okay.
- Your mind blown you're with a model now?
- [chuckles]
I'll ask him
to take a photo of the two of us.
Uh, all right, okay.
Hey, I've been thinking
want me to get this screen over?
No, no, no, no, no.
No need, it's only a second.
No, I'm just saying
so you don't feel the cold.
There's a draft in here.
- Well, then, what have you been thinking?
- Well, yes.
If you need me, I'll help you.
- All right! The dream team.
- [chuckles]
All right, then. What do I do?
Hello. Can I help you?
Well, I just wanted
to get something sexy for my girlfriend.
Oh, very good. Is it your anniversary?
Not exactly.
Her birthday?
[sighs] No, we're going through,
uh, kind of a weird time now.
Oh, sorry, I don't I don't
know why I asked you that.
She, uh, wants
to have an open relationship.
Oh, fuck!
That sounds like the dream though.
Uh, sounds like a great idea,
but in reality, no.
Hmm. Look, which do you prefer?
The full set of panties
and a bra as well or a body?
Well, one of each.
Perfect. And what is her bra size?
[Raúl exhales]
Hmm. I don't a little bigger than yours.
- Hmm. A 42?
- Uh, yes, yes, yes.
- Cup size?
- [gasps] What cup?
[laughs] Look, we'll do this.
- I can see you're a bit lost. [chuckles]
- Okay, okay.
- How's this?
- I'll take it.
How much importance do you place
on what happened?
- Me, a lot.
- Me not so much.
But, regardless, I'm always willing
and ready to forgive her.
[clicks tongue] But why bother, really?
'Cause I don't feel anything anymore.
But look at her. She's like a robot now.
I can't recognize
this woman sitting next to me at all.
- Who the hell are you?
- [doctor] Look.
The most amazing person
in the world could be beside you,
but if their animal doesn't happen
to be attracted to your animal,
there's nothing we can do.
- Animal?
- Luis, we're not attracted to each other.
- Speak for yourself.
- What are you talking about?
You're taking testosterone
to have sex with me.
And that's not all.
I've signed up for a course
on the deconstruction of masculinity.
Because you wanted to.
I like men just the way they are.
Hmm. Especially if they're in sweatpants.
[doctor] Look, if you're sure
that the relationship is over,
instead of complicating things
with futile issues,
focus on your children.
Look what you've done, Esther.
Look what you've done.
[shudders]
[Tamara] I'm having dinner with a guy.
What's wrong?
- Stop calling me. It's over. [scoffs]
- [Santi clears throat]
Why do all these guys
have such enormous egos?
So she left you. It's over then.
You must have done something wrong.
Uh, me, no. I fortunately don't have,
uh, any problem when it comes to that.
And in fact, I'm even enrolled in a course
on the deconstruction of masculinity.
Hmm. A what?
Okay, it's a critical reflection
on the many negative consequences
of toxic masculinity.
Is that what we're gonna talk about?
I hate talking about that and vegan crap.
Okay, no, it's fine.
Sticky rice.
- Oh, no.
- Courtesy of the chef.
- Oh, thank you.
- [Santi] Thank you.
- Well, how are we doing this?
- What?
The the check here.
That's all you.
Oh, yes.
Yes, yes, yes, I'd love to to pay.
No, I just didn't wanna offend you.
You think paying for dinner offends me?
I'd be more offended if you didn't.
And there'd
for sure be no second date. [chuckles]
- I didn't wanna seem sexist or whatever.
- Oh, no, you pay. Don't worry about it.
And besides, it was your idea
to come to this posh Thai place.
- Well, uh, no, it was my secretary's idea.
- [cell phone rings]
- Oh, shit.
- [sighs]
Again, Gorka?
[hesitates] It's none
of your goddamn business.
No, I haven't screwed him yet,
but I'm going to.
There's no need to go into details.
I'm gonna have to change my number,
and I really don't want to.
You can block him if you want.
[Tamara] Gorka, you and I are divorced.
- You gotta stop playing the victim.
- Shh!
- It's been tough for me. Stop shouting!
- [Santi] Shh!
[Tamara groans]
- Stop it. No.
- [scoffs]
I was just thinking
that if you're feeling all wound up,
we can just meet another time.
- No problem.
- No way.
I'm not gonna let that asshole screw up
my date. Not when it's going well.
Oh, it's going well?
Ugh! [smacks lips]
I'll pay the tip too, huh?
[door closes]
Honey, honey. I just scored.
Yeah.
I swear to you. I had sex
with this hot chick I met at the store.
I went out to buy you
some sexy little lingerie,
and the salesgirl chick got horny
all of a sudden.
She tried it on, and we ended up
at a hotel, fucked all day.
Aye, Raúl, come on.
I don't believe you at all.
I did. I screwed several times.
She was totally into it.
So where's my lingerie?
I left it at the store,
'cause we were so turned on.
Now that I believe.
It's typical you. Come here.
[sniffs]
Mmm! You do smell like sex.
Very good. I'm so proud of you.
- Congratulations!
- Mm-hmm.
It wasn't easy, huh?
But I finally got it done.
- [Luz] Oh, mmm!
- Mmm!
- [camera shutters clicking]
- [chattering]
- [chattering]
- [camera shutters clicking]
I don't see why we should wait
in line for a goddamn photo.
Well, that's why we're here. [scoffs]
- But they're paying you or not?
- Hell no.
They should be.
This is free publicity for them.
Honey, come on,
Úrsula Corberó is here and Pe.
Well, I don't care.
I think it's ridiculous we're here,
and everyone waiting in line
just so they can take our photo.
- [chattering]
- [Pedro] The line's not moving!
You're not wearing high heels.
- Hello. Hi, sweetie.
- Excuse me, agents have to be in the back.
I'm her boyfriend, honey, all right?
Stop breaking my balls.
I've been standing for an hour.
[woman scoffs]
If you're gonna behave like this,
don't come. It's gonna stress me out.
Hey, hey! See that?
They're all cutting in line. Hey, come on!
Hey, hey, you, asshole!
Honey, honey. That's Bardem.
- [Pedro] Hmm.
- [Daniela] Okay.
[camera shutters clicking]
Hello.
- Here we are. [chuckles]
- [camera shutters clicking]
Daniela, just you, just you.
- [Daniela] Oh!
- Huh? Oh.
- You have to go that way.
- Ah.
I'm back. Shit.
Did you like it?
Yeah. Yes, very good. Yes, yes.
If you didn't like it, you can tell me.
- If I didn't, I'd say it. I did like it.
- [cell phone rings]
That guy is a pain.
He knows when I'm fucking.
Uh, well, you did tell him
you were going to, so, uh [sighs]
I'll just ignore him.
This is very nice, huh?
- He's not coming over here, right?
- No way.
- [Santi] Hmm.
- [intercom ringing]
- Go on, it might be him.
- Okay, relax, he doesn't have keys.
[exhales] Uh,
I think maybe I should go, huh?
But don't leave now.
You'll run into him in the lobby.
No, come on. He doesn't know who I am.
Do you have a garbage bag here?
I'll say hi and pretend I'm a neighbor.
He can't get in, man. Lie down!
- [Santi sighs, gasps]
- [elevator whirring]
[footsteps approaching]
- [doorbell rings]
- [Santi gasps]
- Well, he's here.
- Oh, God damn it!
If you're having issues with your ex,
you shouldn't have brought me here.
It's the woman on the third floor.
She lets everyone in.
I'll be telling the landlord tomorrow.
- [Santi] Shh!
- [Gorka] Tamara!
- Let's see if he goes. Shh!
- [Gorka] Open the door!
- [cell phone rings]
- [Tamara] God damn it.
[Gorka] Tamara, I know you're in there!
- [Tamara] I'm gonna tell him to fuck off.
- No, no, no. Don't open it.
- You're right, better if it's you.
- Me? But I shouldn't be here.
I have a new man in my life.
- Well, a new life.
- Here, put this on.
- Huh?
- [doorbell ringing]
- [knocking on door]
- [Gorka] Tamara, open the door.
- Just for a minute.
- Huh? I'm gonna go open the door,
I'll go give him a talking to.
All right, Gorka,
not a great time to show up and [grunts]
[groans]
I don't get people who go and work out.
Ever since I passed the exam
for the police force,
I haven't lifted a finger. Uh!
That's bad, Julián. Bad.
Why the hell we here?
I can't tell you, brother.
For your own safety.
What did you say, you weirdo?
Uh, a personal trainer
who's been trafficking steroids.
- No fucking way.
- Hmm.
Shouldn't we notify Narcotics?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Uh, and I wanna make sure first.
And they're very busy now.
Oh, there he is. Let's go. Let's go.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Uh, anything wrong, officer?
Routine check, sir.
Vehicle license and registration, sir.
- Of course.
- Your ID card as well.
- ID, but why?
- Because I said so.
Let me see. Okay.
Go and check his pockets to see if
he's carrying any steroids in there, hmm?
What steroids?
Need a reflective jacket
and a warning triangle.
You're serious?
["Libre" playing]
[in Spanish] Free like a bird
Who escaped from its prison ♪
[in English] Gave
that asshole a 100-euro fine.
Well, that fucker can go fuck himself.
- So with the discount, it'll be 50 euros.
- How much does Esther pay for class there?
- I think she's a member.
- I bet she'll get one.
Hey, don't discourage the guy.
He's letting it all out.
I bet he'll think twice next time
he wants to screw somebody else's wife.
So did you tell him who you were?
No, dude. Why the hell would I do that?
Well, then how
will he make the connection?
So we gotta think of a new plan.
[vocalizes]
Hey, it's our turn. It's our turn!
["Olvídame y pega la vuelta" playing]
- [in Spanish] Who's this? ♪
- It's me ♪
What do you want? ♪
You! ♪
You're too late ♪
Why ♪
- [laughing]
- [song continues]
So, go ♪
Forget my name, my face, my house ♪
- And get out of my life ♪
- [laughing]
[Santi] I never understood you! ♪
[song continues]