Amazing Stories (1985) s01e06 Episode Script
The Amazing Falsworth
Gosh.
You scared me.
Ohhh.
Operator, get me the police.
I saw the killer.
I saw the Strangler, damn it! Yes! I'm telling the truth! I'm in an alley just off the strip near Olive.
Yes, I saw the Strangler! Hurry! Hurr- How's the Amazing Falsworth tonight? Not so great.
Barbara left him last night.
Geez.
What's that, wife number three? Four.
L.
A.
Is teeming with ex-Mrs.
Falsworths.
It's that power of his.
Come on.
Don't hand me that bull.
I know how he does that stuff.
I got this cousin, see, and he and his friend have this thing worked out where they use color patterns and stuff.
Yeah.
Pretty convincing too.
It's not a trick, Jimmy.
Falsworth's for real.
So is Santy Claus.
The one, the only, the Amazing Falsworth.
Thank you.
Thank you, and welcome to the club.
Uh, tonight, I'm not gonna bore you with any of my cheap card tricks or- or pigeons up my sleeves.
No, tonight, I'm gonna go down among you and try to learn something about my audience- if you don't mind.
What I'd like to do is touch you or some object that you own and, uh, I can tell you things about your life.
I assure you this blindfold may not be seen through, so some of you young ladies may wanna guide my hands carefully.
Remember, it's all in the hands.
It really is.
Let's see which one will be first.
Let's see here.
Oh.
Well.
Well, well, well, well, well.
I'd like to congratulate this young couple on their coming blessed event.
Oh.
You're four months along, aren't you? How did you know? It's all in the hands.
It's gonna be a boy.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wanna welcome you to our fair city.
It's always nice to have honeymooners in Los Angeles.
Well.
Well, it's a wonderful story here, ladies and gentlemen.
These two brothers are reunited tonight for the first time in 26 years.
Am I right, sir? It's all in the hands.
Let's see.
Let's see who's next here.
Whoo.
This beautiful bracelet is the first present you bought for yourself with your new inheritance.
Am I right? Nobody knows about that.
I hope there are no I.
R.
S.
Agents in the audience.
It's all in the fingers.
I'm sorry.
Uh, sir, you're- you're here in town for the convention.
And you've had some luck with the ladies- maybe a starlet or two? Am I right, sir? I tripped you up, I did, buddy.
I'm head of the Christian Plumbers Association in Waukegan, and I don't have that kind of lust in my heart.
Would anyone like to send up a personal item or two for the Amazing Falsworth to take a reading from? Um, anything.
A scarf.
A watch.
Some jewelry.
Uh, um, any volunteers? You, sir.
You look like you have some interesting secrets.
Um, and, of course, all of these items will be returned to you, um, immediately after the reading.
Aaah! Ya scared the cider out of me, Falsworth! I'm sorry, Jimmy.
Jimmy, get the police out here very quickly.
I'll be up in my dressing room.
Send them right up, and hurry! What? Falsworth here! Detective Spota, L.
A.
P.
D.
What can I do for you? Don't move! I got the police on the line right now! Mr.
Spota, the murderer, the Keyboard Killer, he's right in my dressing room right now! Now, look, Mr.
Amazing Falsworth, if you want publicity, call Entertainment Tonight.
We got a lot of work to do.
Look, Detective Spota, I'm a professional psychic! - I know who you are.
I've seen your show.
- The killer was in the club tonight.
I touched him while I was blindfolded.
I could feel who he was and that he had just murdered two people moments before.
And now he's in my dressing room! He's right in front of me! Right now, huh? All right.
Do you think you'll be all right? Well, how the hell do I know? Well, uh, try not to aggravate the guy.
I'll be right there.
What do you want from me? Damn it! What the hell do you want from me? That's from your loving ex-wife, Natalie.
Can I go now? I almost forgot your cookie.
Who is it? Spota, L.
A.
P.
D.
How do I know it's you? Believe me.
I'm me.
Mr.
Falsworth, you okay? Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks for coming, Detective.
You scared the hell outta me.
So where's the suspect? Well, I'm sorry.
It was a case of mistaken identity.
Oh, so you're telling me there's no killer here, right? There is, I swear.
It's just, uh, it wasn't who I thought it was.
You got any diet? No.
Look, uh, let's get one thing clear right off the bat, Mr.
Falsworth.
I don't believe in this "psycho-phenomenon.
" Parapsychological phenomenon.
Whatever.
All I'm interested in is the facts, as Joe Friday used to say.
Hey, you've made a nice little career out of mind-reading, and I respect that.
I really do.
I've made a career out of fact-finding for the last 15 years, and I hope you'll respect that.
Okay, that's out of the way.
Now, what happened here? In my show, I wear a heavy blindfold and my assistant leads me into the audience.
When I touch them, I can- I can see things about them, kinda sense details about their lives.
Yeah, I know.
I told you.
I've seen your show.
Anyway, tonight when Gail led me up to this one man and I touched him, I felt that he had just killed two people.
He was a serial killer, the one in the papers.
- The Keyboard Killer.
- Yeah.
What did he look like? I had the heavy blindfold on.
When I took it off, he was gone.
I didn't see his face.
Uh-huh.
Look, I didn't see his face, all right? I have no choice in what I see! Relax, Mr.
Falsworth.
I'm a cop.
I gotta ask these questions.
Can you tell me, uh, what his name is? Where he lives? Something.
Maybe if I'd held on to him a little bit longer.
I let go of him immediately.
I was really shocked.
Oh, I'm sure you were.
Well, I- I just don't know what to do, Mr.
Falsworth.
I mean, you didn't see the guy.
You don't know who he is, where to find him.
Don't leave! Don't you see? He knows who I am.
I'm next.
- What do you want me to do? - I need your protection.
Why would I make up a story like this? I need your help.
Without your help, I'm a dead man.
I need facts, Mr.
Falsworth, Something to go on.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I'm so stupid sometimes.
Of course.
All I need to do is touch the chair that he sat in.
Of course.
I'll just touch the chair that he sat in.
This way.
Of course.
Which table? Which table? Beats me.
This guy just made it with his boss' wife.
Mm-hmm.
Which table? Huh.
What? Well, this woman, uh, she likes me.
Gimme a break.
Which table? I see a house.
No.
No, an apartment.
Top floor.
I see numbers.
- I have an address.
- Well, let's check it out.
Top floor, right? Doesn't look like there's anybody home.
Are we really gonna go up there? Yeah, we could do that, or we could stand out here all night and stare up at the window.
Why don't I go in and talk to the manager, find out if the guy's home? You wait for me in the lobby, all right? Aren't you gonna call for backup? Manager said the guy's not in.
I told you.
"602," "604.
" Are you gonna use a credit card to get in? I could do that, or, uh, I could use this key the manager gave me.
You've been watching too much television.
Look, you don't have to come in if you don't want to.
You wanna stay out here? No.
No, I wanna go in with you.
I don't wanna stay out here alone.
Suit yourself.
- You're no cop.
- Really? Excellent.
You are pitifully stupid.
Jimmy never called the police, did he? What'd you do toJimmy? You tell me, Mr.
Amazing Falsworth.
You're the psychic.
Read what I did with him.
Come on, Falsworth, reach out and touch someone.
It's all here.
Everything you ever wanted to know about Charlie Spota.
It's all in the hands.
Isn't that what you said? You're fairly good- stupid, but fairly good.
I've never done this so close to home before.
Awfully convenient.
You may spoil me.
- Look, please, I won't tell anybody.
- That's correct.
And who'd believe me? I'm just a psychic, a mystic- somebody you read about in the supermarket tabloids.
- Nobody believes in that stuff.
- I believe in you.
I hope that's some consolation, Mr.
Falsworth.
You mind if I call you "A mazing"? I never thought I'd enjoy this- not like the women.
Look what I have for you.
An F-sharp string.
Oughta fit rather nicely around your B-natural neck.
It's the music.
You've done away with each victim musically, right? A different note with a different string from your piano.
And you'll stop killing when all the notes play a certain song.
Am I right? What's the song, Mr.
Spota? It's an opera! It's an opera.
Masked Ball.
It's your favorite, right? You're real clever.
Don't patronize me.
It won't work.
You're about to become a headline.
However, you are correct.
Unfortunately, it's rather a long aria all about a wife's betrayal of her husband with his best friend.
Ah, well.
"Finita la commedia," as they say.
Go ahead, Falsworth! Scream as much as you want! Yeah.
Hello, operator? My name is Falsworth.
I need the police right away.
That's right.
The Amazing Falsworth.
No, I'm sorry, ma'am.
I- I c- I can't read you over the phone.
I'm sorry.
It needs to be in person.
I need to use my hands.
It's all in the hands.
You scared me.
Ohhh.
Operator, get me the police.
I saw the killer.
I saw the Strangler, damn it! Yes! I'm telling the truth! I'm in an alley just off the strip near Olive.
Yes, I saw the Strangler! Hurry! Hurr- How's the Amazing Falsworth tonight? Not so great.
Barbara left him last night.
Geez.
What's that, wife number three? Four.
L.
A.
Is teeming with ex-Mrs.
Falsworths.
It's that power of his.
Come on.
Don't hand me that bull.
I know how he does that stuff.
I got this cousin, see, and he and his friend have this thing worked out where they use color patterns and stuff.
Yeah.
Pretty convincing too.
It's not a trick, Jimmy.
Falsworth's for real.
So is Santy Claus.
The one, the only, the Amazing Falsworth.
Thank you.
Thank you, and welcome to the club.
Uh, tonight, I'm not gonna bore you with any of my cheap card tricks or- or pigeons up my sleeves.
No, tonight, I'm gonna go down among you and try to learn something about my audience- if you don't mind.
What I'd like to do is touch you or some object that you own and, uh, I can tell you things about your life.
I assure you this blindfold may not be seen through, so some of you young ladies may wanna guide my hands carefully.
Remember, it's all in the hands.
It really is.
Let's see which one will be first.
Let's see here.
Oh.
Well.
Well, well, well, well, well.
I'd like to congratulate this young couple on their coming blessed event.
Oh.
You're four months along, aren't you? How did you know? It's all in the hands.
It's gonna be a boy.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wanna welcome you to our fair city.
It's always nice to have honeymooners in Los Angeles.
Well.
Well, it's a wonderful story here, ladies and gentlemen.
These two brothers are reunited tonight for the first time in 26 years.
Am I right, sir? It's all in the hands.
Let's see.
Let's see who's next here.
Whoo.
This beautiful bracelet is the first present you bought for yourself with your new inheritance.
Am I right? Nobody knows about that.
I hope there are no I.
R.
S.
Agents in the audience.
It's all in the fingers.
I'm sorry.
Uh, sir, you're- you're here in town for the convention.
And you've had some luck with the ladies- maybe a starlet or two? Am I right, sir? I tripped you up, I did, buddy.
I'm head of the Christian Plumbers Association in Waukegan, and I don't have that kind of lust in my heart.
Would anyone like to send up a personal item or two for the Amazing Falsworth to take a reading from? Um, anything.
A scarf.
A watch.
Some jewelry.
Uh, um, any volunteers? You, sir.
You look like you have some interesting secrets.
Um, and, of course, all of these items will be returned to you, um, immediately after the reading.
Aaah! Ya scared the cider out of me, Falsworth! I'm sorry, Jimmy.
Jimmy, get the police out here very quickly.
I'll be up in my dressing room.
Send them right up, and hurry! What? Falsworth here! Detective Spota, L.
A.
P.
D.
What can I do for you? Don't move! I got the police on the line right now! Mr.
Spota, the murderer, the Keyboard Killer, he's right in my dressing room right now! Now, look, Mr.
Amazing Falsworth, if you want publicity, call Entertainment Tonight.
We got a lot of work to do.
Look, Detective Spota, I'm a professional psychic! - I know who you are.
I've seen your show.
- The killer was in the club tonight.
I touched him while I was blindfolded.
I could feel who he was and that he had just murdered two people moments before.
And now he's in my dressing room! He's right in front of me! Right now, huh? All right.
Do you think you'll be all right? Well, how the hell do I know? Well, uh, try not to aggravate the guy.
I'll be right there.
What do you want from me? Damn it! What the hell do you want from me? That's from your loving ex-wife, Natalie.
Can I go now? I almost forgot your cookie.
Who is it? Spota, L.
A.
P.
D.
How do I know it's you? Believe me.
I'm me.
Mr.
Falsworth, you okay? Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks for coming, Detective.
You scared the hell outta me.
So where's the suspect? Well, I'm sorry.
It was a case of mistaken identity.
Oh, so you're telling me there's no killer here, right? There is, I swear.
It's just, uh, it wasn't who I thought it was.
You got any diet? No.
Look, uh, let's get one thing clear right off the bat, Mr.
Falsworth.
I don't believe in this "psycho-phenomenon.
" Parapsychological phenomenon.
Whatever.
All I'm interested in is the facts, as Joe Friday used to say.
Hey, you've made a nice little career out of mind-reading, and I respect that.
I really do.
I've made a career out of fact-finding for the last 15 years, and I hope you'll respect that.
Okay, that's out of the way.
Now, what happened here? In my show, I wear a heavy blindfold and my assistant leads me into the audience.
When I touch them, I can- I can see things about them, kinda sense details about their lives.
Yeah, I know.
I told you.
I've seen your show.
Anyway, tonight when Gail led me up to this one man and I touched him, I felt that he had just killed two people.
He was a serial killer, the one in the papers.
- The Keyboard Killer.
- Yeah.
What did he look like? I had the heavy blindfold on.
When I took it off, he was gone.
I didn't see his face.
Uh-huh.
Look, I didn't see his face, all right? I have no choice in what I see! Relax, Mr.
Falsworth.
I'm a cop.
I gotta ask these questions.
Can you tell me, uh, what his name is? Where he lives? Something.
Maybe if I'd held on to him a little bit longer.
I let go of him immediately.
I was really shocked.
Oh, I'm sure you were.
Well, I- I just don't know what to do, Mr.
Falsworth.
I mean, you didn't see the guy.
You don't know who he is, where to find him.
Don't leave! Don't you see? He knows who I am.
I'm next.
- What do you want me to do? - I need your protection.
Why would I make up a story like this? I need your help.
Without your help, I'm a dead man.
I need facts, Mr.
Falsworth, Something to go on.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I'm so stupid sometimes.
Of course.
All I need to do is touch the chair that he sat in.
Of course.
I'll just touch the chair that he sat in.
This way.
Of course.
Which table? Which table? Beats me.
This guy just made it with his boss' wife.
Mm-hmm.
Which table? Huh.
What? Well, this woman, uh, she likes me.
Gimme a break.
Which table? I see a house.
No.
No, an apartment.
Top floor.
I see numbers.
- I have an address.
- Well, let's check it out.
Top floor, right? Doesn't look like there's anybody home.
Are we really gonna go up there? Yeah, we could do that, or we could stand out here all night and stare up at the window.
Why don't I go in and talk to the manager, find out if the guy's home? You wait for me in the lobby, all right? Aren't you gonna call for backup? Manager said the guy's not in.
I told you.
"602," "604.
" Are you gonna use a credit card to get in? I could do that, or, uh, I could use this key the manager gave me.
You've been watching too much television.
Look, you don't have to come in if you don't want to.
You wanna stay out here? No.
No, I wanna go in with you.
I don't wanna stay out here alone.
Suit yourself.
- You're no cop.
- Really? Excellent.
You are pitifully stupid.
Jimmy never called the police, did he? What'd you do toJimmy? You tell me, Mr.
Amazing Falsworth.
You're the psychic.
Read what I did with him.
Come on, Falsworth, reach out and touch someone.
It's all here.
Everything you ever wanted to know about Charlie Spota.
It's all in the hands.
Isn't that what you said? You're fairly good- stupid, but fairly good.
I've never done this so close to home before.
Awfully convenient.
You may spoil me.
- Look, please, I won't tell anybody.
- That's correct.
And who'd believe me? I'm just a psychic, a mystic- somebody you read about in the supermarket tabloids.
- Nobody believes in that stuff.
- I believe in you.
I hope that's some consolation, Mr.
Falsworth.
You mind if I call you "A mazing"? I never thought I'd enjoy this- not like the women.
Look what I have for you.
An F-sharp string.
Oughta fit rather nicely around your B-natural neck.
It's the music.
You've done away with each victim musically, right? A different note with a different string from your piano.
And you'll stop killing when all the notes play a certain song.
Am I right? What's the song, Mr.
Spota? It's an opera! It's an opera.
Masked Ball.
It's your favorite, right? You're real clever.
Don't patronize me.
It won't work.
You're about to become a headline.
However, you are correct.
Unfortunately, it's rather a long aria all about a wife's betrayal of her husband with his best friend.
Ah, well.
"Finita la commedia," as they say.
Go ahead, Falsworth! Scream as much as you want! Yeah.
Hello, operator? My name is Falsworth.
I need the police right away.
That's right.
The Amazing Falsworth.
No, I'm sorry, ma'am.
I- I c- I can't read you over the phone.
I'm sorry.
It needs to be in person.
I need to use my hands.
It's all in the hands.