Andi Mack (2017) s01e06 Episode Script

1 Previously, on Andi Mack Do you know who my dad is? Yes, but I Who is he? Where is he? His daughter wants to know him.
I don't want to write him! Ham: This is his email.
- Do I know you? - Buffy.
Marty.
Andi: Why is it so hard to stop liking someone when there's a zero percent chance they'll ever like you back? I've already decided I'm not telling him.
Except you have to.
Buffy, I'm not asking for your advice.
I'm just reporting what I saw.
Which was what exactly? Amber drawing a heart on a guy's hand.
Somebody who wasn't Jonah.
How could anyone treat him like that? (laughs) Well, guess what? She gets to go on treating him like that unless you tell him.
He'll hate me.
He won't hate you.
He probably won't smile and wave when he sees you, though.
He won't? - Hey, Cyrus.
- Mm-hm? - Someone wants you over there.
- Who? Me.
What if I put a note in his locker? That's what a coward would do, and you're not a coward.
Yes, I am! You've seen me at the water park.
(laughs, speaks indiscernibly) He just looks so happy.
- Oh boy.
- That's fun, yeah.
He's a human sunbeam.
Who needs to be eclipsed.
(theme music playing) I'm standing on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh Is blowin' away Life is upside down But anyway it go-o-oes I'll work it out Oh oh oh oh oh Here we go - One, two, three - I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way All the way (birds chirping) What's this? Food.
You bought food? Well, it was this or go with the magic beans the little boy offered to trade us for our cow.
Yes, I bought food.
I got everything on your list.
You didn't need to do that.
Well, I live here and I want to contribute.
Well, that's admirable, but you can wait till you have a real job.
Or "Thank you.
" That's another option.
I said thank you.
No, you didn't.
Thank you.
- You're wel - You got the wrong muesli.
I'll return it.
It's the one with no raisins.
- Thank you.
- Bex: You're welcome.
How'd I do? Not bad.
Not bad as in As in pretty good.
What was my time? Do I know you? You would know if you knew me.
Hold on.
You're that guy who lied about eating a frog.
I'd rather you remembered my name.
I don't.
Marty from the party.
Right.
The one who liked to sass chat.
I prefer to think of it as banter.
(sighs) Can I please just have my time? Sure.
All right, let's see, that was 11.
8.
And what's the fastest? 11.
8.
Wait.
Are you saying I'm the fastest? Yeah.
My first time out, and I'm already the fastest! Girl.
What? You're the fastest girl.
Meaning what? There's a faster boy? - Yup.
- Who? Hi, Marty from the party, nice to meet you.
You? I thought you were just the guy with the stopwatch.
I am the guy with the stopwatch helping out Coach Rez, who asked me to time you.
And what's your time? 11.
5.
I can beat that.
Don't be so sure.
But I am.
Minor biological reality: When it comes to racing, males and females were not created equal.
The fastest woman will never beat the fastest man.
- Even if that's true - It's true.
It doesn't mean that I can't beat you.
Well, I welcome the challenge hopeless though it may be.
At least now I know you'll remember who I am.
Yes, I will.
You're 11.
5.
(sighs) (people chattering) What'ss happenin? (chuckles) Huh? You wanted to tell me something? No.
I don't! Who said that, Buffy? (laughs) You were just looking at me, like what is it? Jonah, I can't.
You'll hate me.
(scoffs) Hate you? That's impossible.
I saw Amber in the park with someone else.
Yeah? A guy.
Who? I don't know but she was drawing on his hand.
She was? And I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I think it was a heart.
Like this? Yeah.
Except yours is nicer.
I I wasn't gonna tell you, and I'm I'm gonna try and wash this off before class.
Yeah.
Yeah, of of course.
Don't worry, I'll be fine.
Obviously, I mean, you're Jonah Beck.
I'll be fine.
Don't worry.
Yeah you just said that.
I did? Yeah.
You told him? I'm proud of you.
It was the right thing to do.
No, it wasn't.
Did you see him? He's human.
I didn't need to know Jonah Beck was human.
(door closes) (sighs) Ugh (heavy rumbling sound) What's going on? I'm just making this place a little easier to navigate.
No! Careful! Mom! I'm not a child anymore! What do you think I'm gonna do, spill apple juice on something? - Oh! - Oh, shoot! Oh no.
It's fine, it still works.
(tapping keys) Give it a minute.
Oh, Bex.
I wish you would just grow up already! I have! This is it! I'm here! And I'm raising my daughter.
I have a job, that I like, that I'm actually good at.
Believe me, I live for the day you tell me you're proud of me.
(taps key) But it's not gonna be today, is it? No.
(phone buzzing) Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Wham bam, here I am, goddess of the glitter and glam Sorry! Yes, catch a breath, got you eating out of my hand Wham bam, thank you, ma'am, now I'm here, the party is on Wow, check me out, don't know what you got till it's - Oh! - Wham bam, here I am Goddess of the glitter and glam - Ow! - Yes, catch a breath - Got you eating out of my hand - Sorry! Sorry! Wham bam, thank you, ma'am - Now I'm here, the party is on - Excuse me! Wow, check me out gone Hey! - Andi, listen - Amber alert! Amber alert! That's right.
I'm still sayin' it.
And it's still wrong.
Did you see how fast she got here? How she ran to meet you when she got that text? There's your proof.
Proof? Of what? Amber, stop.
You made your point.
Wait.
You sent me that text? I had to.
I had to show Jonah why you were lying about seeing me with some other boy at the park.
I didn't lie.
Why would I lie about seeing you with another guy? Because you like Jonah! Tell the truth Girl Who Doesn't Lie.
Amber, come on.
Jonah, this is important.
If she's so honest, she can be honest about this.
It's not that complicated.
Do you like him? And I don't mean as just a friend.
Or a teammate.
You know, the question I'd rather answer is, why am I still standing here listening to you? And the answer is I'm not.
(yelps) (sighs) Thank you! (rock music playing) La la la la la la la la la All eyes on you, are you ready, ready? All eyes on me All eyes on me, are you ready, ready? (music slows and stops) Okay, look, not everything has to be a competition.
But can it be? Meaning what? I wanna race.
Then you've come to the right place.
I wanna race you.
You literally have a one-track mind.
Is that a yes or a no? You wanna race me? Sure.
Name the place, name the time.
Right here, right now.
- Now? - Now! - You're cra - Go! - Oh, here we go - Oh, here we go - There's no keeping us down - Oh, here we go To take it on, we would go insane - Oh, here we go - Oh, here we go - There's no stopping us now - Oh, here we go Oh, here we go That wasn't fair.
Sorry.
We can try it another time when you're ready.
Oh, I'll be ready.
Just say the word.
- Go! - Hey, stop doing that! Hey.
How'd you find me? Y Your bike's still here, so I've been looking.
I just wanted to see you were okay.
Are you? Yes.
This is where I go and this is what I look like when things are okay.
About what happened the thing is Amber's kind of insecure.
That's like saying sharks are insecure.
"Oh, I wonder if that dolphin likes me.
Never mind, I'm just gonna eat it.
" Andi, I I feel really bad.
Do you really believe her? Your insecure shark? Do you really think that I lied to you? No.
I don't know.
Maybe you didn't see what you thought you saw.
You know what? You're a really great boyfriend but not such a great friend.
At least to me.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, me too that I ever said anything to you.
Andi.
Please just go.
Just go.
Buffy: This is all my fault.
I shoulda never made you tell Jonah.
Buffy, you've gotta stop saying everything so confidently.
You made us think you know what you're talking about.
Most of the time I do what I'm talking about.
Just this time I didn't.
I'm sorry.
She's sorry.
This isn't the end of the world.
I wish it was! My only other options are moving or dying.
Okay, let's take this step by step.
Obviously, you're not going to school Ever again! Well, we'll start with tomorrow.
You're taking a sick day.
All you need are a few symptoms.
Retrieve that computer and fire up the Internet.
We're goin' in.
Great job, Bex, it looks fantastic! I just wanna make a few little tweaks.
Bex? Uh Oh! Bex! I got it! I'll fix it! Oh I'm so sorry.
She's new.
Brittany? Yeah? Brittany, you remember my mom? Oh! Yes! Of course! Hi, Mrs.
Mack.
How are you? Did you ever get that stain out of your rug? No it's right where you dropped your jelly toast because you refused to use a plate.
Hmm.
I have stuff I need to do in the back.
Nice seeing you again, Mrs.
Mack.
Not.
She was a little monster.
What cruel twist of fate brought you two back together? She hired me.
I'm sorry? She's my boss.
I now work for the heinous child I used to babysit.
Yeah.
It's your worst nightmare.
I'm an embarrassment.
I'll never amount to anything.
Go ahead, Mom.
Have at it.
Your father and I have tickets to see Wicked tonight.
You seem to be good at, you know You want me to do your makeup? I was going for this.
Right.
You do realize I use a makeup brush and not a time machine? Good one.
So, give me a fake cough.
(coughs) Now try a fake sneeze.
Ha-choo! Okay.
Now give me some chills.
Now land the plane.
(coughs) Ha-choo! What do you think? I like it but I don't love it.
Ooh! You are good at this.
Thanks, Mom.
Okay, now I gotta run, so I can buy a new keyboard to replace the one you ruined.
I'm gonna pretend like you left after "You're good at this.
" Okay.
(hair dryer humming) Andi: Aaah! Please stop! Andi! Andi: Aaah! Stop! It's hot! It's hot! Aah! It's hot! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot! (hair dryer stops) What is going on? Guys? I got nothin'.
Science homework? I can't go to school tomorrow.
Please don't ask me why.
Go on.
So, I need to be sick, which I'm not, but we're working on it, and it's really painful.
Because you're doing it wrong.
All you need is a little eye shadow to make some dark circles, a heating pad, ideally two, to raise your temperature, and some chunky chicken soup to pass for vomit.
Or I could write you a note.
- Oh, dang.
- Just like that? I don't even have to tell you why? I know I'm not perfect, but I'm good for some things.
Hey.
Why aren't you dressed for school? She's not going.
She's taking a mental health day.
That's absurd.
There's no such thing.
Get ready, you're going to school.
Mom, it's one day.
Stop trying to be her friend.
Be her mother.
I can't.
I can't go.
- Why not? - (doorbell ringing) Oh, go see who it is.
- Why not? - Um Man: Bex! Bowie? Who? Oh, hey, Mrs.
Mack.
(yelps) What's he doing here? - What are you doing here? - Well, I got your email.
Email? Email? Hi, there.
Hi.
I just wrote "Hey.
" Literally one word.
I'm Bowie.
Andi.
Mom I have to.
You do? Andi this is your dad.
Bowie.
Bowie.
This is your daughter.
Andi and Bowie: Whoa.
(both laugh) Ham! We have a problem! I see she hasn't changed.
No, she has not.
But everything else has.
Next, on Andi Mack - We have news.
- So do I.
- Our is bigger.
- That's literally impossible.
Both: Jonah and Amber broke up! For real! He could be with anyone he wanted! But what if it's me? Jonah: I need to talk to you.
- Andi - Bowie: Andi! Jonah: Who's that? It doesn't matter.
What were you gonna say? I'll tell you later.
- Okay.
- Here she is! We're gonna have the best father-daughter date ever.
- Are you stoked? - You bet!