Average Joe (2023) s01e06 Episode Script

1
- This program
is rated TV-MA-LV
and is intended
for mature audiences.
Viewer discretion is advised.
- This Christmas ♪
- To Daddy from Touch.
- Oh, my man, Touch.
- Let me guess.
A terrible towel.
A terrible towel!
My man!
- Again?
- Why does he get you
the same thing every year?
- Oh, it's just tradition.
You know, new year, new towel,
new chance for a Super Bowl.
- Okay.
- That's how it goes.
- Oh, what we got next?
- Um
- Oh, that's a good one.
Oh, okay.
- Who is that from?
- Let's see. Let me look.
"To the Washingtons"
- Mm-hmm?
- "From Cathy and Leon."
- Oh.
- What?
- Oh-ho!
- A new toaster oven!
This the shit.
I know this one.
This ain't cheap, neither.
This is that good shit.
- This bitch.
- What?
- What's wrong, Ma?
- I got this for them for
their anniversary last year.
- Same model?
- The exact one.
See, I put their initials
on the box right here
so I wouldn't forget.
- So they re-gifted it?
- Yep.
- This bitch.
- Can we open up Grandpa's?
- Yeah, let's do Grandpa's.
- Yeah.
- Let's move on from this one.
♪
♪
- Oh, my God.
- What?
- Is it real?
- Oh.
♪
- Pretty sure it is.
- Why would Teddy get us
something like that?
- Same reason
he does half the stuff he does:
he's an asshole.
- Grandpa's not an asshole.
- Okay, he's a delight.
- Well, I don't want this thing
in my house.
It's disgusting
and I don't want to look at it.
- I'll throw it out tomorrow.
- No, put it in the attic
right now,
'cause it's--
I don't want to see it.
It's just--ugh.
♪
- Ugh.
- And this Christmas
will be ♪
A very special Christmas
for me ♪
- This man sure know
how to fuck up a Christmas.
♪
♪
- I still don't understand
what's wrong with my plan.
- It's insane.
That's what's wrong with it.
- Yeah, and desperate times
call for desperate measures.
And we in some desperate shit
right now.
- It'd definitely keep the cops
away from the house.
- Which we need.
It's gonna take us some time
to figure out
where Teddy hid the money.
- Well?
- It's like Fort fucking Knox
at your place.
The Shaveys have it
completely surrounded.
Oh, fuck.
- What about you guys?
You come up with an idea
how we can get in?
- I did.
- She did not.
- What's a Shavey?
- Uniformed Pittsburgh PD.
Uncle Touch told me
they can't have facial hair,
so they call them Shaveys.
- What about detectives?
- No, detectives
can have facial hair.
Just not uniformed cops.
- Huh.
Not even a moustache?
- No, nothing.
It's part of the uniform.
- How is something you
can't have part of a uniform?
Well, I don't know, Leon.
Think of it like
you and a brain.
- Okay.
- You couldn't go
have a look around the house
- and see if you saw anything?
- Ah.
- Yeah. You our inside man.
Go get your ass inside.
- And do what?
Ask the guys that are
dusting for pubes
if they've seen $10 million
lying around?
I can't just go there, Joe.
Talford knows I'm helping you.
She's just
lady-copping the shit out of me
right now with head games.
- Shouldn't have told her
you knew me.
- Hey, you don't know
this woman.
She was just waiting
for me to lie to her.
- Dad, maybe Sergeant Talford
might help us.
- No.
She wants to use you as bait.
That's what the fuck
she wants to do.
- No, no, no, she found
two dead bodies in our house
and she only questioned us
for, like, what, 15 minutes?
- I don't know, Joe.
Jenn might be onto something.
I mean, I watch "First 48,"
and normally
when they bring people
into the investigation room,
they're there for, like,
five, six straight hours.
- Mm-hmm.
Something's up with her.
I think she might
want to help us.
- She is not.
Now how long is
this whole "CSI" bullshit
gonna be happening
at the house?
- Not long.
Our guys are terrible at it.
But the Shaveys are gonna be
posted up there indefinitely.
Talford knows the Russians
are watching your house.
It's just a matter of time
before she knows why.
- Then maybe we beat her
to the punch.
Tell her the truth.
Dad, half the truth.
There aresome guys
trying to kill us.
- Not to mention
that crazy hit-bitch.
- And that crazy hit-bitch.
If I ask
Sergeant Talford for help,
maybe she'll let us
back inside the house
and then we'll
have the Shaveys protect us
so we'll have
police protection outside
while we look for the money
inside.
No.
- I like it.
- I love it.
- It's not a bad plan, Joe.
- I said no.
I don't want her
a part of this.
- Then why'd you do
what you did?
- Uh, Mom?
- No. Your father's right.
He made his decision.
Enough.
You're always on his side.
I'm sick and tired
of this shit.
- Jenn.
Jenn, I told you to stop--
- Hey.
You need your meds?
- No, I'm just stressed, Joe.
You know, the longer
I'm thinking about this,
the longer I think
that we need to leave now.
I mean, Cathy's plan
is obviously crazy,
but I don't know,
maybe Stan and Winny,
that was a sign.
You know, I think that we need
to leave with what we have.
We just--we find someplace new
and we start
to be a family again.
- All right.
We can go.
Just give me a few days
to figure it out, all right?
- No, Joe.
Now.
- What do you mean now?
We got $60,000.
How long you think
that's gonna last us?
- I don't care.
We are alive
and we are together,
and that's all that matters.
- Jesus Christ.
Ang, we deserve this. Okay?
Can't you taste it?
It's right there.
Just come on. Please.
- I'm not asking, Joe.
♪
Did you hear what I said?
- I'm the bad guy now?
Huh?
'Cause I want something better
out of this
fucked up situation,
I'm the fucking bad guy? Huh?
- Nobody said that!
- But you're thinking it!
♪
And after everything I did,
you want me just to
walk away from it?
I earned this.
♪
Just give me one more day.
♪
I'm not asking.
♪
- "Local Tow Truck Driver
Dies in Tragic House Fire."
Hmm.
♪
Teddy is Joe's father.
♪
Drug trafficker's son
was dating tow truck
driver's granddaughter.
His head chopped off.
We find dead bodies at
tow truck driver's son's house.
♪
What's new?
Shit.
I don't know where the fuck
tow truck driver's son is now.
♪
Where are you, Mr. Joe?
- We're changing history, bro.
- You know, it's not too late
to join the revolution.
The great resignation is always
accepting new members.
- The great what?
- Resignation.
The big quit,
the grand re-shuffle.
I mean, workers are fed up
with stagnant wages
and soaring costs of living.
We're out, bro.
- Out of what?
You don't work.
- That's right.
- Okay, so no job?
What are you gonna do
about money?
- Money isn't real.
- No, it's real.
No.
No, money is just a concept
designed to keep us trapped
in their system.
A work-first mindset.
It's been that way
ever since we switched
from the diamond standard.
- Gold standard.
And if it doesn't work out?
- Well, I mean,
I still got like,
2 grand left on unemployment.
And then once I convert
that to crypto, I mean,
that'll technically
be like a million.
- Yeah, that sounds like
a solid plan.
Thank you.
What's up with this chick?
- I think I saw her
at the range checking me out.
Watch this.
Hola! Como eh?
How you doing?
My name's Mitch.
- Hi, Mitch.
- Hi.
- Me and my brojangles
were just gonna, like,
crush a couple cold ones
and chillax for the day
if you wanted to join us.
- Yeah, I'd like that.
Ah, excellence!
Here, please.
Après-vous.
That's French.
- What was your name?
- Arina.
Arina.
♪
♪
♪
I miss work with my hands.
It was nice, you know?
When I was growing up,
I had very little.
A lot of my family,
my brothers
- Roof on my head,
food in belly
was a good life.
- But not good enough for me.
I want more.
- Today
I have more.
Much, much more.
But also
I have less.
I learned this
♪
When I saw your picture
with my son's head.
♪
Shut the fuck up.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah?
Governor Davis?
You're Governor Davis, right?
- That's right.
- How--how can I--
please have a seat.
Well, this is nice.
Don't you think?
- Yeah.
I don't know what thisis,
but it's definitely nice.
Well--
It's rare for a man of my
position to deliver good news,
so I jump
at every opportunity I can.
- Jump.
- Clara Banks.
- The new DA?
- She was passionate
about your mother's case.
I like her already.
- Yeah, I had my team
look into it.
- Why the change of heart?
- You want everything
from every angle, huh?
I guess it's just engrained
in you.
- Trust issues.
- Yeah.
Well, being a recent recipient
of the second chance club,
I find myself open
to these new ideas.
It appears that the evidence
in your mother's case
isn't what it seems.
- What are you saying?
- Well, certain things
still need to flow,
but, uh, I see a clear path
out of prison for your mother
considering everything
runs smooth.
- Look--
- I'm--
- Look, look.
I don't need you
to say anything.
- It's what I need you to do.
- Okay.
- It's important
to know what it is exactly
you're fighting for.
That's how you know
when to keep going
or when to walk away.
♪
That's the difference
between losing
and finding victory in defeat.
It's a win-win.
- What exactly
do you need me to do, Governor?
- Chill.
- Chill?
♪
- Chill.
♪
Okay.
♪
Have a good day, Governor.
♪
- They said you were smart.
- Yeah, well
they didn't vote for you,
so yes, I am.
♪
- Have a wonderful day!
- Mm-hmm, you too.
♪
- Oh, shit.
- 27-Adam-9.
- Yeah, 9?
- 10-43, tan Ford Taurus,
Pennsylvania plate,
Adam-seven-Henry
eight-Frank-four-two.
- Code two.
Copy.
♪
♪
♪
- You're off the case.
- What?
- How the fuck
can you be surprised?
- He wanted me to bury it!
I can't do that!
You can't ask me to do that!
- He's the governor.
The man signs my checks.
He get
whatever the fuck he wants.
- But it's complete horseshit.
You know that.
- Be happy
you still have a badge.
- Fucking thrilled.
- 999, repeat, 999.
Shots fired. Officer down.
27-Adam-9.
All available units,
respond 10-34.
- Who's Adam 9?
- Tuchawuski.
♪
Easy, easy.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Hold on.
Oh, shit.
- Oh, oh, God.
- I know you're hurting.
- Yeah.
- I know you're hurting.
It looks like you might've
cracked a rib or two.
X-rays will tell us more.
Doctors are waiting.
- Okay.
- You're lucky as hell
you had your vest on.
- Yeah, well, I wouldn't
exactly say I'm lucky.
What about the shooter?
Any word on the shooter?
- Haven't heard anything
on the radio.
- Everyone's looking, though.
- Oh, fuck.
Fucking hurts.
- Yeah, yeah ♪
♪
Standing in the street,
the sun is in the east ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
Calling out the beast,
the tiger underneath ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
Starting to believe,
the world is at my feet ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
I'm ready for the feast,
it's all within my reach ♪
I'm going to another level ♪
♪
Whoo! ♪
To another level ♪
♪
- Fucking Cathy.
♪
Bitch is a maniac,
but her plan did work.
♪
That bitch
on some "Beautiful Mind" shit.
♪
- To another level ♪
♪
Let's get it ♪
- Whoo! ♪
♪
- To another level ♪
♪
- Hello?
♪
Got a man hiding?
♪
♪
- Which one, Ang?
- I'm sorry.
What?
- Which drug store
you wanna go to?
- Oh, um,
Oscar's on Shadow Lane.
Hey, Leon.
Can you turn on the radio?
- Uh, yeah.
Sure.
- Jenn.
Jenn.
♪
Your plan was a good idea,
given the circumstances.
But you know your father
would never let you
get involved, baby.
Can you give him a break?
Huh?
Can you try to let it go?
- Can we not?
♪
♪
- Jenn, he's just trying
to make us safe.
Baby, he's got us
in this huge hole
and he's trying to get us out.
So just don't let him
get to you.
- It's not him that's getting
to me, though, Mom. It's you.
Me?
Dad could have us
thrown in jail or killed,
and you've just
gone along with it.
♪
Make him listen to you.
Stop protecting his ego.
You're better than that.
You're better than that, Mom.
- Pull over.
- Uh, Joe told me--
- I said pull over, Leon!
- Okay.
Ang.
You made your point, Ang.
- Mom, stop it
and get back in the car.
- No.
Two minutes ago, you had this
all figured out, Jenn,
so you know what?
You go on with your life,
'cause I'ma be all right.
- I didn't even mean it
like that!
- Playing house
with Dimitri for six months.
And now he's the love
of your life?
Give me a fucking break.
I am so sick of this shit!
Trying to keep everything
the fuck together!
- Ang, Ang, Ang, Ang!
Come on, come on, come on.
Let's just go back
to the pharmacy.
We need to get your meds.
- No, I'll get it myself, Leon.
And you know what?
Tell Joe when he gets back from
his heist to give me a call.
As a matter of fact, Jenn,
why don't you stay
with your father?
I'll unburden you both.
You like that?
- Okay, Ang.
Please can we just--can--
can you just get in the car?
- Need to stop protecting
his ego.
You got no damn right,
little girl.
No damn right!
- Thank you for holding.
- Hello. I am calling
to check on a prescription.
- All righty.
One moment, please.
Last name, please?
Uh, Washington, Angela.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm not showing anything.
Give me just a moment.
Ms. Washington, can you give me
your date of birth?
- Uh, of course.
09/09/75.
Thank you.
And this was for the
- Prednisone.
- Hmm. It says here
it is ready for pickup,
but not at this location.
It's at our Shadow Lane
location.
Is that all right,
or would you like me
to transfer the prescription
to this store?
- Nope.
Shadow Lane is just fine.
Sorry.
I forgot I moved it.
Thank you so much
for all your help.
- My pleasure.
- Bye now.
Bye-bye now.
♪
- Really take your time, man.
That's cool.
- Okay.
All right.
So, uh,
on a scale of one to ten,
how do you feel?
- Fucking Z.
- Z?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
You will feel better
in three
- Yeah.
- Two
- Mm-mm.
Out.
- Miss, I'm in the middle of--
- It's Sergeant.
- Sergeant.
- Mm-hmm.
Fuck.
- Okay.
- No, no, he--
Talford, you come here
to finish me off or what?
- Beloved tow truck driver
dies in a house fire
and bodies start popping up
at his son's house
the next week?
Teddy Washington
was working for Nicolai.
Nicolai had Teddy killed,
so Joe killed Dimitri
in retaliation.
- I'm sorry.
Are you fucking high?
- Was Joe working
with his father?
- No, all right?
Teddy was square and so is Joe.
Where is Joe?
- You scared him off
at the interrogation,
so he and his family
skipped town.
I have no fucking idea
where he is.
- Well, find him.
- He's gone!
Pam, would you just
fucking please
get the nurse back in here?
Listen to me.
The governor of Pennsylvania
was in my office today.
Mm-hmm.
He's on Nicolai's payroll.
Wants me to fumble the case in
exchange for my mom's freedom.
- Wait, so why--
you didn't take it?
- You would?
- You've been
chasing your mom's freedom
for over a decade.
You're fucking-A right
I'd take it.
- Clearing my mama
is one thing.
But taking Nicolai down
is just as important,
and I know your friend
knows more than he's saying,
so call him!
- Okay, just slow down,
would you?
You're going a million miles
an hour here
off of one coincidence.
And I tried to call Joe,
but he won't answer.
I--
You ain't getting my PIN.
- I can help your friend
and his family.
But first, he has to help me.
- You gotta let this thing go,
okay?
He's gone, okay?
Would you do me a favor
and please get the nurse
back in here so
I can get some pain medication?
- I knew you two were fucking.
Oh, fuck me.
- What?
- Oh, Lord.
- Jesus Christ.
- Hey, man.
- What's up, man?
- Why are you here?
Why aren't you
at the Washingtons' residence?
- Chief pulled us off
after dumbass here got shot
to go look for the shooter.
- Eh.
- Give us a second.
- Good to see
you're still breathing, Touch.
Yeah, fuck you too, man.
Ow.
- So how close was the shooter?
- Say what now?
- The shooter.
How close?
- I don't know.
A couple, three feet?
- Couple, three feet?
- Yeah.
Pam, it was a traffic stop,
you know?
It was the distance
between me and the window.
- One shot into the vest?
Damn.
You must be
the luckiest cop I know.
Yeah, it's--
- We're not done
by a long shot, Touch.
We're going back
to your friend's house
and you better hope
I don't find anything.
♪
- Oh, shit.
♪
Yeah?
- Talford's headed your way
right now.
- Now?
- Yeah, right fucking now.
♪
Where did you hide
this fucking money?
- You think we gonna
make it out of this alive?
- I have a no soul-searching
by the side of the road rule.
- I don't want to die, Leon.
- Neither do I,
but I'm pretty sure
Joe's gonna kill me
if I don't get you back home.
- I'm serious.
You know, I gave up my career.
I got sick.
I thought I was a good mother,
but obviously, I am not.
I could've had
such a different life, Leon.
And I'm working
in a fucking diner.
♪
I haven't done anything
with my life.
Nothing that matters.
I'm a goddamn burden.
♪
- Ang, you are--
you're not a burden, but
we really need to get you
your meds before this--
- You ever get tired?
- Of what?
- Of holding Joe down.
♪
- No.
That's my boy.
- Yeah, well, your boy claims
he's doing this for us.
But he's doing it for himself.
- What makes you say that?
- Because he's changing, Leon.
Can't you see that?
- No, he's still Joe,
I'm still his friend,
and you're still his wife.
If we don't hold him down,
we hold him up,
and if one of us crumbles,
then we off, then
- And who's holding me up?
- I will.
♪
Mom, I am so sorry.
I had no right.
Please,
we need to get your medicine.
♪
- Come on.
Damn!
Fucking--
Come on!
Oh, fuck!
Fuck!
♪
♪
I bet you're fucking
laughing your ass off, huh?
You think this shit funny?
Watching me try and fail,
and fail to try?
I'm sick of your shit.
I'm sick of all of this shit.
♪
I'm sick of your fucking games.
Sick of your fucking games!
♪
Sick of your fucking shit!
♪
Fuck.
I'm not fucking playing
fucking games with you,
motherfucker.
Pittsburgh PD!
Drop what's in your hands.
- Take two steps back
towards my voice,
hands where I can see 'em.
Put down the deer head.
- I can't.
- Put it down
or I am going to shoot you.
- Yeah?
I thought Shaveys
was taken off this detail.
- What's a Shavey?
♪
Drop it now!
♪
Kill me.
Kill me, please.
Just--
♪
♪
Oh, yeah!
♪
♪
♪
Police!
Please
Oh, my God.
♪
Son of a bitch.
Who did this to you?
Who?
Fuck.
♪
I envy you.
It's easy to be a bad guy.
No rules
no concerns.
Being good takes discipline.
Restraint.
♪
But the devil on my shoulder's
been getting real fucking loud.
Who did this to you?
♪
♪
♪
- Him?
- Yes.
♪
♪
- Give me your ID.
I'll go in for you.
- You know what?
I'll go.
Sitting makes it worse.
- She's gonna be fine, right?
- Yeah.
- Right. Okay.
- Hey.
- You make it back?
- No.
- Anyone follow you?
- No.
- You okay?
- Well, I'm in my fifth cab
with a smelly motherfucker,
so no.
When this is all over,
I'ma use some of that
Lambo money for a spa day.
Shit, a spa week.
You didn't tell anybody about--
- Absolutely not.
It's our money.
- Great.
I'll see you soon.
- See you soon.
Hey, I love you.
- I know.
♪
- Thank you.
- Mom, I just want you to know
that I--
- Don't.
- You never have to apologize
for being right, baby.
I forgive you.
Love you.
- Love you too.
Thank you.
And for now,
can you, me, and Dad
just get on the same page?
- Jenn, your father and I
aren't even in the same book
right now.
- Okay, but I just don't want
to have to choose sides.
- Well, that is a part
of being grown.
- Well, okay then.
I think we should still
look for the money.
- Noted.
Can we go?
- I'll be right there.
I just have
to use the restroom.
- Okay.
I'll be in the car.
- Okay.
Hi.
Do you mind?
♪
- Ang, Jenn!
♪
♪
I found the shit.
♪
I found the shit.
A-fucking-men.
♪
♪
You did it.
You did it.
Everything's better.
♪
You did it.
You found this shit.
A-fucking-men.
♪
- Hello.
Leon? Leon!
Leon!
- Mom?
Mom?
Leon!
Oh, shit.
Okay, okay.
What happened? Where's Mom?
What happened to Mom?
- It was the crazy hit-bitch.
She took her.
- Mom?
Mom!
Mom!
Mom!
Mom!
♪
Help!
♪