Being Human (US) s01e06 Episode Script

Previously on Being Human My brother had a nervous breakdown and ran away from his family.
Just leave me alone.
You screw me.
You kill me.
You never call.
I can't go to a restaurant and pretend to be human when all I wanna do is eat the table next to me.
I will be strong for both of us.
I lost my engagement ring.
- Why'd you take it off? - You know I love that ring! Danny killed me.
What sets a human apart from a monster, aside from genetics? Aside from the terrible truth? We walk the same streets.
We wear the same clothes.
You take a breath, and there we are, gulping the same air.
We're walking in your footsteps.
Still I lie silent And even a monster can posses that most dominant of human emotions fear.
We know enough to remember what we once were.
We know enough to fear what we can now do.
And, like a human, we obsess over love, over life, over every lost cause.
That kills Fire and soot From an iron flute That shakes the trees from stem to root The Vatican Tweets! I hate this decade.
Is that you? Sorry.
How are you doing that, anyway? You can't Touch anything, do anything but make the house shake.
I know.
Maybe because it's mine.
Maybe because it's supposed to be on my finger.
But I thought that Danny took it.
He did.
Then how did it get here? Aidan, I'm pretty much not gonna have the answer to any of these questions.
You look nice.
Is that you wearing perfume? So, it's like a charged object, right? Right.
So I should do something with it.
Wait a second.
Hold on.
When you say "do something," you don't mean with Danny, right? I'm sorry, am I supposed to be over the whole wrongful-death thing by now? You were the one who said you'd take care of him.
Because I didn't wanna see you get hurt.
Hey, listen to me.
The more involved you get, the more caught up you get in revenge.
You will be stuck, Sally.
Is it picture day at school? What's up? Nothing is up, OK? You just notice it more because you can't change clothes.
Mail call.
Hello, sexy! Is that Rebecca? Um Who's Rebecca? Are you two No.
No! Oh! OK, yeah, porn before breakfast? Really? - We don't need to see this.
- Hey! Stop! I mean, let it.
Whoa! That's a good dress.
OK What is this? Hi, boobs! Oh What? Is she She's a vampire? Oh my God! Oh, she's eating his face! What is she doing? Oh my God! Oh! Turn it off! Turn it off! Whoa! There's so much blood! What the hell was that? Ew, ew, ew! Is that Is that what vampires do? They get off on this, don't they? Some do.
So, is it something you like? What? No! Josh No! No.
Someone's just trying to mess with me.
I will get rid of it.
Don't worry.
I I should, um I should get to work.
Bring your curtain Down We have the same weaknesses as you.
But even this doesn't make us normal.
But it does make us unforgettable.
Hey.
Hey.
How's your your day going so far? Oh, not bad.
Fender-bender, enema.
Same old.
Well, I hope the two weren't related.
So, they sent Mr.
Calambey home? His burns healed nicely.
Yeah! Minor miracle.
I'm not going anywhere near my deep fryer anytime soon! How can you even own one of those? The fat alone is just Oh no, I was No, I was kidding.
I was kidding.
Although I'm not past torching a brulée on occasion.
Because men enjoy torching things.
So, you like to cook? Yeah, I always thought it would be my other profession if I didn't go into Um So, I'm in this rehabilitation program.
- Oh! - Yeah.
Trying to prove to Nora Sorgent, I'm an upstanding member of society and not a raging ass hat.
Hmm.
That must be a new program.
- Is.
- How's it going? Decent.
Yeah.
Although I'm not really putting in the effort that I'd like.
Oh, well, one day at a time.
Yeah.
Uh, so I was wondering if maybe you if maybe you might want to eat sometime.
Uh, wow, like tomorrow.
Because you're not working the night shift, and, hey, neither am I.
So what a serendipitous bit of scheduling.
Well, I do need to eat.
See you later, dough eyes.
Well, that was fast.
I told Rebecca you'd be another day.
I thought you'd wanna watch it a few more times.
Can I talk to you alone? I'm fine here.
Really? A porno? That's your big move? Bishop likes to think of it as a video postcard of sorts.
"Wish you were here.
" What are you doing? What? You didn't like it? Bishop knows where I stand.
A pathetic snuff film isn't gonna change my mind.
Fair enough.
Give it back, and I'll dispose of it.
Ah! You kept it! So you do miss me.
Don't do that.
You You don't want me back.
You ever thought of what might happen? Yes, it's all I think about.
It's all any of us think about, really.
You would be nothing all over again, and you know it.
Yap, yap, yap.
You and all the little doggies! I thought you had a hold over him.
I guess I was wrong.
It would have been fine if you weren't here.
I can do it.
That's what you keep saying! And yet Is it true what they say about Aidan and Bishop? They weren't gods.
Are you in love with him? What would be the point? Ahh Are you OK? Yeah, no, I'm good.
I'm Maybe.
Do you think if you mention food to someone and they say they like to eat, technically, it's a date? - No.
- No? Well, actually, what she said was "I guess I have to eat.
" Who? Nora.
Yeah.
- She's speaking to you? - Yes! And possibly eating with me.
- "I guess I have to eat" - No, yeah.
It's not dripping with enthusiasm.
But it's not a no.
- It's not a no.
Mm-mmm.
- Not a no.
What? You're doing it.
Don't jinx it! It does make me wonder, though, you know, what that would be like be someone's boyfriend again.
Share a paper, see a movie.
Sounds like retirement.
Is sex in this equation? What? Emily I'm sorry.
I just didn't know where else to go.
So, what brings you here? "Are you OK, Emily?" Are you Are you OK, Emily? I know you don't wanna see me.
OK? I get it.
Jackie and I broke up.
Oh That's rough.
Thank you.
And I can't keep living in there, and it's too late to find a roommate this semester.
So I need a place to crash, OK? - Uh, OK, see, I - Aidan's OK with it.
Right? She's your sister.
How long? Just till I get back on my feet.
Can I have this cookie? I have seen the most Incredible light In your eyes In your eyes I have seen the most incredible light In your eyes In your eyes In your eyes Hello? Hello.
So cast away All your pain Hey, did someone call Aidan, hey.
Did you call about the sink? Did we? Uh, yeah, my bad.
Come on in.
Ahh! What the hell are you doing? You think you'd get away with killing our girl? Any preference? Just make it hurt.
Ahh! Ah! I know.
She disgusts me.
The thought of her Like, ugh! She makes me wanna lick a guy from head to toe.
Get the blood out of the fridge.
And then the porn? We'll lose the snuff film, right? - I told you I took care of it! - OK! Hey, listen, a couple of days, right? - Huh? - We were human once.
We can do this! All right.
Come on.
What the hell is this? What's it look like? I'm freaking out.
No, no, no freaking out! Not now! Emily's here.
Everyone just be normal.
How am I supposed to be normal? I need to talk to you.
And here we are.
Why are we shaking? That's your sister? She's so cute! That's the T.
The train.
The T train.
Well, that blows.
You could crash somewhere else.
Hey! That's your sister.
Tell her she's welcome.
Make yourself at home.
I can't even see through the haze of warm and fuzzy! Please tell me you have booze in there.
Help yourself.
Stop shaking the house right now.
Yeah, can't.
It' called a crisis.
- Not my fault! I Swear! - No worries! Try! OK, when you whisper to me, it makes me feel like a ghost.
And that makes it worse.
Stop shaking! Hey, Josh Why are there, like, Are there? OK, so, dinner, right? What do people like to eat? What do we, the people, like to eat? Aidan's hot.
Sometimes I wish I was into that.
Jackie would so freak! Yeah, you don't wanna That is complicated.
Um, yeah, part of the appeal! How's things going on your front? Oh, good.
Work's good.
Girls, Josh.
Life.
Are you OK? Because last time, you weren't.
Yeah.
Look, I I know I said some things I apologize.
Forget about it.
You owe me one.
Hey, uh I told mom and dad I saw you.
Whoops.
But, see, there you go.
All even! - Em - You're their son! They're worried about you.
They didn't even know you were alive.
What did you tell them? What do you think? Everything.
Well since you asked, I did ask someone out.
And it's vaguely possible that she said yes.
You dog, you! It's not like we I mean, we haven't, you know, yet.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So don't care! Another beer? You coming? The food's getting cold.
What? Yeah, right.
Right.
I know.
It sucks.
I could make you feel so much better if you could actually hear me.
My fiance killed me.
I guess you're happy things didn't get that bad with what's-her-name.
I bet you wanna get back at her.
Right? Make her feel bad? Because what is she really doing? She's just gallivanting around, right? Totally fine with the fact that she decimated you.
Don't you feel like we should do something? Good morning! Oh, apples! This place is freezing.
I'm getting a sweater.
What? I know you're frustrated.
Frustrated? Ha! I'm dead.
I think maybe that ring is maybe what's making you so jittery.
You should get rid of it.
I can't.
It's attached to me.
It's basically a murder weapon, you know? It's the reason I died.
So you've tried to get rid of it? Let's go back to when you wanted to rip his head off.
I like that Aidan! Yes, I've tried to get rid of it! Whatever I do it comes back to me.
Like when it fell down the drain.
The house wouldn't rest till it came back to me.
I've been thinking about it.
It wasn't the house.
It was you, I need to do something.
Like what? Like push Danny down every staircase in Boston.
Like make him see my face in every shadowy hallway.
Like Like make him choke on this damn ring every time he takes a bite of food.
You think I wanna be shaking this house? I wanna shake his very existence! But this This is all I have.
You know what? Let me Let me get her coffee.
- You don't have to do that.
- No, really.
Thank you.
So So So, I hope this doesn't count as our date, because I was really hoping to do better than cafeteria coffee.
You'd have to spring for a croissant to get in my pants.
- Oh - I'm I'm kidding.
Right.
Right.
Me too.
So, we are having a date? I thought so.
Is this a thing that you do? You turn it around so the girl ends up asking you out? Slick! No, I just wasn't OK.
So, dinner at my place.
Here is my address.
So, now you have it.
I will treasure this cup always.
See, you want me to think that you're joking, but I really have no way of knowing.
Maybe you have a treasure trove of stalker paraphernalia.
Yes, because I'm the strange one here.
- Exactly! - Yeah.
Um OK, so I'll see you tonight.
- OK.
- All right.
Hello? Danny? Oh God! Why didn't you say anything? Are you messing with me, Bridg? What are you talking about? I just got here.
Then what the hell is this? Unh Are you messing with me? Stop! Danny, you're hurting me! You still watching that? Oh, don't do that! I could come back.
Pshh.
Sorry.
It's just Emily's drinking alone downstairs and it's all starting to feel creepy and lonely.
What's going on? I messed with Danny with the ring.
And it felt really briefly satisfying.
Is that awful? I don't wanna see you do anything that will mess with your karma, you know? Oh.
Hey, look, I lived through the '60s, a few of them.
I can talk about karma without irony.
Are you in love with Elvira? Rebecca? Um I feel responsible for her.
Why? She looks like she can take care of herself.
Maybe.
Make peace with the dead Make peace with the dead Oh, yum! Relax.
I got another bottle of vodka.
What? I don't even drink vodka.
Oh, so that was all me.
You know what? You should go out.
Just, you know, be young, wild.
As soon as possible.
I have a date.
Oh yeah! That girl whose pants you're too scared to unbutton? Yes.
Thank you.
What do you say? Mind if I brown bag it? You can do whatever you want.
She cannot do whatever she wants.
P.
S.
Relax, narc.
Yeah, no, great, you go ahead.
I'll stay here, do nothing, again.
You know what? Why don't you all go out and just have a great time? - I'll get it! - I'll get it! No! You stop now! No, no, no! - Oh, hello.
- Hi! Nora, Emily.
That's my leaving sister.
Come in.
Come on in.
Josh, she is so hot! Look at her boobs! I've always wanted boobs like that.
Come in! Come in! How about a vodka shot? Emily, she doesn't want a vodka shot, OK? She's an adult.
- One shot.
- Ooh! You have to follow again You're gonna have the best night! We feel gone We feel gone This doesn't suck.
You want a drink? I've been drinking since breakfast.
All right, I'm going in.
Hmm, feels like a redhead kind of night.
Hey! Just have fun.
Your description of this place? Not accurate.
I ended up in what might have been the basement of a serial killer.
You should probably look into that.
I'm never going out again.
Human boys.
He doesn't know what he's missing! Seriously.
Freaking eunuch.
Oh! Let's go pour a drink down his pants.
His junk will shrink like a toe in a tub.
Hmm? Josh, this is shockingly good! Thank you.
But the torch really did the heavy lifting.
Who has a kitchen torch besides Martha Stewart and her newlywed minions? That's something you register for and never take out of the box.
Yeah, that's what my fiancée said.
What, you were engaged? Were you married? Oh no, no.
And What happened? It's a long story.
Um it just didn't end well.
Too young? Yeah.
Um I changed.
You answer questions like an escaped convict.
- What? - Mm-hmm.
Yeah? - Mysterious.
- Yeah Not too much detail.
Well, the details would bore you.
I'm a Jewish kid from Ithaca.
- As in Ithaca is gorgeous? - Yes.
Cute, dough eyes! What about college? MIT.
- Shut up! - Yeah, anyone can get in.
Screw you! What are you doing folding hospital corners? Life experience.
More wine? I should get more wine maybe.
This is gone.
Lindsey.
Aneurism.
1991.
Oh at your age? I know, right? Wicked tragic! So, how'd you bite it? My fiance killed me.
- Shut up! - Can't.
Oh! Wow! How mad are you? I desperately wanna wreak havoc on Danny, but my friend Aidan thinks it's a bad idea, like I'll be stuck here or something.
That's a bunch of bull! You're just supposed to let Danny get away with it? Yes, that's what I think.
But he's No, we'll figure it out.
Screw Aidan! No one gets what we're going through but us! Oh, honey, you're so happy you've met me! Holy mother.
That looks like a girl that forgot her underwear.
What are you doing here? Painting the town red.
Wanna come? OK, so, I'm gonna go to a place that is not here.
I like your new girlfriend.
That's Josh's sister.
Are you running a kennel now? She didn't smell like a bitch.
I don't have anything to say to you.
You wouldn't have shown up the other day looking for me if you had nothing to say.
You are a lost cause.
Wow! We have eternity, and you're really gonna give up now? They sent you that DVD because they think I affect you.
Brilliant! Pretend I don't.
Whatever.
I spend half my time trying to forget about you, too.
I give up.
I like these plates.
They've got character.
Thanks.
Yeah, we found 'em at a flea market.
Aidan had a few from an old set, so Is that how you two ended up living together? Your love of vintage china? Um actually, no.
We, uh We met in a fight.
Well, sort of a fight.
It was I was being fought.
Pummelled, really.
So, you're an antiquer, not a fighter.
Much hotter.
Seriously? No.
But that's OK.
What is the way You're scared.
I saw it.
Before or after I ripped that joker's neck off, I loved it.
Even if I didn't, I'm supposed to disobey, go against King Bishop? You killed me, but he made me.
At the hotel, I looked up and you were gone.
I thought I was doing you a favor.
By going back to Bishop? To Marcus? You're probably just doing their bidding by talking to me now! I was.
Marcus brought me here tonight.
Oh God, Rebecca! Why do you think I'm telling you? I'm coming clean.
I can't do this.
What do you want from me? I'm screwed, Aidan! Anything I do! You know that! I shouldn't have let you walk inside that night.
I should have just walked away and let you live your life.
I wasn't living it that well.
Opposite, opposite Opposite, opposite Opposite, opposite Opposite Opposite, opposite Can I help you with that? I'm a skirt chaser, babe.
But I'll take a light if you got it.
So, do you come here a lot? I go wherever he goes.
Who's that? The douche who went on without me.
You can call him Bill.
Huh.
Coming to these places night after night, trolling for some girl dumb enough to lick his rotted herpes face for a night.
It makes me sick.
- Let's go say hi! - Hmm? Please don't.
So, what are you gonna do? I don't know.
What do you feel like? Make him think he's seeing maggots in his whisky? Make his teeth fall out while he talks up a slut? You can do that? I can make him think it's happening.
See, that's why you look so sad, honey.
You're wasting your time trying to be a ghost.
Being a ghost is boring! I know.
But a poltergeist Delicious! What are you saying? Get 'em off! Get 'em off me! Get out of the way! Move! Get it off me! Danny can't even hear me! How do you do that? Honestly, for the first five years, I couldn't do squat.
But for the past 15, hello! I know, I should probably just kill him, right? Buzz kill! - Fatal-attraction ghost.
Wow! So, what about your door? My what? Your door.
You know, how you move on.
Move on to what? I'm sorry, babe, I gotta go.
Bill hasn't gotten his rocks off in five years.
You know why? Vigilance! Well, come find me sometime, yeah? We'll get your guy.
Well, now! Sorry, did I Relax.
I've got a good right hook if I need it.
OK.
Just Am I being too - You're being too polite.
- Yeah, I just I just wanna make sure.
Yeah What happened to you? - Just - Yeah, OK.
Ah jeez! Sorry, sorry.
You were heavy petting, so I hid here.
Who are you talking to? Who the hell is here this late? Yes? Bridget? Bridget.
Have we met? No, sorry.
I'm Josh.
Oh, right, the boyfriend.
What? Um I think this belongs here.
Isn't this Danny's? It's not Danny's.
It's mine.
Just put it somewhere, OK? I'm pretty sure it belongs here.
OK.
Bridg Good night.
Uh Where to? Uh I gotta go.
What? I gotta I left Emily and it's late.
I should take her home.
You're kidding me, right? I I really No.
No.
No.
I gotta go.
So, let the dog catcher take her home.
Come on.
Ugh, I'm not doing this for Bishop.
I told you, to hell with them.
Doesn't that mean anything to you? Yes.
Yes, it does.
It really does.
But I I can't get into it tonight.
Ugh Ugh! Maybe they have a point! Marcus and the rest.
At least they stick together.
I'm sorry.
You know, you, um You really don't have to go.
It's late.
I should.
Did you arrange this or something? I swear.
Oh my God! Josh Em! Oh no! What happened? What happened? I'm sorry, Josh.
I know you guys wanted to be alone.
I'm sorry.
I No, we're taking her to the hospital.
I don't need to.
I I don't want you guys to Hey, hey.
We're going, OK? We're going.
Can you stand? Can you walk? - Mm-hmm.
- All right, come on.
Come on.
The stars wait for a lot of days Where are they? The hospital.
Aidan! I'm tired of the constellations Fights for euthanasia Did we ever really land on the moon?