Belle's (2012) s01e06 Episode Script
Runaway Bride
1 Pam: Tonight at Belle's, the main dining room has been reserved for Pastor Wheatley and our church choir.
They're all coming directly from the GospelFest, where they have been competing against some of the best choirs in Atlanta.
But there's nothing like Belle's home cooking to celebrate their victory, or if they lose, drown their sorrows in barbecue.
[ Telephone rings .]
Belle's.
How can I help you? Oh, right! Oh, no, no, no.
We're ready for you.
Okay, bye.
Maurice! Maurice! - Yo? Yo? Yo? Yo? - That was Pastor Wheatley's assistant.
They're on their way.
They're going to be here in twenty minutes.
Now, thirty people showing up all at once could throw off most restaurants, but not Belle's.
My mom's been preparing for this night for weeks.
So, what could possibly go wrong? [ Crying .]
My car just broke down outside.
I don't have a phone.
I don't even know where I am.
Could you call a tow truck for me? I'll just wait over here and cry my eyes out! [ Crying hysterically .]
Then again, maybe I spoke too soon.
Okay, I called AAA.
A tow truck is on its way.
Do you think I might have a glass of wine - while I'm waiting? - Of course.
Napa Valley chardonnay would be nice.
Maurice! What? How am I supposed to get the bar set up if you keep I swear to God, I ain't never seen that woman a day in my life! Just go get her a glass of white wine! Okay, all right, all right.
All right.
Move, Maurice.
Jill, come here.
Did you know there's a car out front with a "Just married" sign and tin cans tied to the bumper? - Who's that? - I assume, the driver.
Oh, okay.
Well, I need a favor.
I need to leave early.
Tonight? Oh, no, no, no, not tonight.
Pastor Wheatley and the whole choir is coming I'm sorry.
It's important.
I'm going away for the weekend with Benjamin Caldwell.
- Benjamin Caldwell is married.
- Temporarily married.
He's getting a divorce, and once he does, it's quite likely that he and I will be Well, do I need to spell it out for you? He comes in here with his wife all the time.
I know.
That's how we met.
They seem real happy together.
Okay, well, according to Benjamin, their marriage is like two escalators going in different directions.
[ Laughs .]
And you believe everything he says? Why shouldn't I? - Number one, he's married.
- Don't say that again.
Number two, he's a lawyer.
And number three, he's a man.
And what am I going to tell Dad when he asks where you are? Tell him I suddenly came down with the flu.
Oh, okay.
Right.
That you're in bed and flat on your [ Telephone rings .]
Hello? [ Crying .]
Here.
Here you go.
Um, if you're hungry, here's our menu for happy hour.
[ Crying .]
Pastor Wheatley and the entire church choir - will be here in exactly - Twenty minutes, I know! Well, nothing's ready.
I don't see anything ready.
'Cause I'm still cooking, Bill, if you'd just stop pestering me.
These chops should have been in the pan by now.
Don't tell me how to time my chops! And these greens These greens are only half done! Stop sticking your nose in places it don't belong! And where's the corny cornbread? You know how Pastor Wheatley loves his corny cornbread.
The oven, like it's supposed to be.
- Now, shoo.
- "Shoo"? You heard me.
- You can't tell me to shoo.
- Just did, didn't I? - What am I, a stray cat or something? - What you are is in my way.
"Shoo"? Yeah, that's right.
Shoo.
- This is my kitchen! - Not when I'm in it, it's not! [ Wailing cry .]
Jill! Why is there a woman in a bridal dress crying at the pastor's table? Her car broke down.
I called AAA.
- They're on the way.
- She can't stay there.
Well, obviously, she's going through some traumatic event.
- We can't just throw her out.
- This is a restaurant, not an underground railroad for runaway brides.
Go over there and tell her she'll have to wait somewhere else.
Look, the woman's a time bomb waiting to go off.
Aw, the poor lady.
What kind of man leaves a nice woman like that just sitting at the altar? Jill, you let her in, you get her out.
You want her out, you're going to have to throw her out yourself.
Oh, not me.
I don't work with tears.
Okay, I'll do it.
[ Sighs .]
- Excuse me, miss? - Clara.
Clara, I'm the owner.
Oh, you're the man I have to thank for letting me stay.
- What? - Thank you - So much! - No Because I wouldn't know what to do if it weren't for your kindness! - Clara - I have no place to go, - no one else to turn to.
- Clara My life's a mess! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Ow! Oh, God! Jill, did you tell Dad that I have to leave early? No, I didn't.
I've got other things on my mind.
Well, you'd better, because Benjamin is picking me up any second Speak of the devil.
Benjamin? And he brought his wife.
What do you know? [ Laughs .]
We're sorry we didn't make reservations.
Oh, there's a private party in the main room.
Oh, it was a last-minute, spur of the moment type of thing.
But we could set up a table for you at the bar.
The bar area would be fine.
Wouldn't it, darling? Of course.
The bar is fine with me.
Okay, Loreta, a cozy table for two at the bar.
- Right this way.
- Thank you, Loreta.
[ Laughs .]
Uh, one firebird chicken, white sweet potato with honey, - and mustard greens with ham hock.
- Who's this for? - What difference does it make? - No difference.
I'm just asking who it's for, 'cause there's no one in the restaurant, and the couple at the bar haven't even ordered yet.
It's for the bride.
Oh! The one at Pastor Wheatley's table.
Yes, the one at Pastor Wheatley's table.
- You said you were getting rid of her.
- I am.
Sure don't look like it to me.
It couldn't hurt to feed her first.
- Thank you.
- Ah! You Oh, it's hot.
Did I forget to tell you? [ Sarcastic laugh .]
- She'd better eat fast.
- We have time.
- We have fifteen minutes.
- I'm going to handle this, okay? And when have I heard that before? You [ Laughs .]
I told you we'd get a table.
Well, I just didn't want you to be disappointed.
After ten years of marriage, a little late to be worried about that.
[ Cell phone rings .]
- That's your phone.
- Uh.
- Aren't you going to get it? - Yeah, sure.
Hello? What are you doing here with your wife? Hey, Stan! Listen, I'm, uh, at dinner with my wife, I can't talk.
I know who you're having dinner with.
So, I'll call you back, okay? Great.
That was Stan.
He wanted to see what time we're leaving.
- The fishing trip, right? - Yeah.
[ Cell phone rings .]
Telephone.
Hey, Stan.
Stan.
Don't you ever hang up on me again.
- Now, what is going on here? - Oh, Stan.
Uh, listen Of course, the fishing trip is still on.
It just depends on what time I'll be leaving.
Uh, so listen, I'll call you back, okay? Great.
Oh, he wanted to see if we could leave early.
Hey, how's my two favorite people? - Maurice! Hello.
- How you doing? - Drinks before dinner? - Yes, please.
Rum and Coke.
- Hey, you've got it.
The usual? - Yeah.
- All right.
- Thanks "The usual"? You're a regular here? [ Cell phone rings .]
Oh, let me guess.
Stan.
- Hey.
- Okay, dig this here.
I'm outside the ladies room, and you've got one minute to get your narrow behind back here and tell me what the hell you are doing here with your wife! - I I lost him.
Lost him.
- Mm-hmm.
Bad connection.
I'll call him back.
- So, uh, let's see what's good.
- Let's.
- Feeling better? - A little.
Well, life's always better on a full stomach.
This is the best fried chicken I ever had.
My wife Belle's special recipe.
- She passed.
- I'm so sorry.
Next Sunday, we'd have been married forty years.
- I bet you were so happy.
- Very happy.
That was the life I dreamed of with Percy! [ Crying .]
Not that we didn't have our rough moments.
I ruined my life! I ruined his! Look Look at it this way.
Any man who would leave his bride at the altar the way he did isn't worth a plate of beans.
Oh, no, he didn't leave me.
I left him.
- I thought that - No.
I was the one who couldn't go through with it.
Right before the minister said, "Do you take this man" I looked into Percy's dear, innocent eyes, - and I ran from the church.
- Why would you do that? I suddenly realized I couldn't begin my marriage with a lie.
- What kind of lie? - Well You have to know the kind of man Percy is.
The most important thing in the world to him is that he marry a woman that is pure.
- "Pure"? - Virginal.
I think I'll check on that tow truck.
But we even went to celibacy school together! I graduated first in my class! He was so proud of me! My chastity meant so much to him, I couldn't bear to hurt him! You wouldn't have any more banana pudding, would you? I just might.
Call the tow truck and tell them there's an extra $20 in it if they're here in the next five minutes.
I'm sorry.
I got here as quick as I could.
I'm listening.
Well, I was ready to walk out of the house, and out of the blue, Violet said she wanted to go out for dinner.
She wanted to have a talk.
- I had no choice.
- So, you brought her here? I'll work it all out, baby, I promise.
Hi.
It's Belle's.
Again.
Yeah, I was checking on that tow truck? Five minutes? Great.
- Have a seat.
- Okay.
Jill, I know Benjamin comes to Belle's a lot.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen him here with another woman? Uh-uh.
Never.
Another woman? Of course not.
- Why? - Because I know he's having an affair.
And he comes up with the most ridiculous excuses when he comes home late.
One time he told me that his boss' son's pet snake got lost, and he had to go help them find it.
- Hmm.
- Another time he told me he backed over a cat and had to take it to the vet.
Interesting how all of his excuses involve animals.
All I know is he is cheating on me with some no-good, low-down tramp.
Do you have any idea who that might be? No! But I'm going to find out tonight.
He's not leaving here until he tells me who she is.
Of course, if that were true, and I'm not saying that it is, he'll probably deny everything.
Not after I tell him I'm calling my brothers in Detroit.
- Brothers? - All six of them.
I promise, after this weekend, I'm going to ask for a divorce.
Oh, you've been saying that for months.
Well, it's not that simple.
It takes time.
These things have to be handled in the right way.
You're a divorce lawyer, for God's sake! This is the best banana pudding.
Your wife's recipe? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look, look, here's the plan.
The tow truck will be here any minute.
Now, you don't want to miss that, so you'll need to be outside.
Oh, no! It's Percy! I can't face him! [ Crying .]
Wha Good! You finally got rid of her! Just in time, too.
The pastor's going to be here any minute! I just talked to Violet.
[ Shrieking and crying .]
You've got yourself one big problem.
Hi.
I'm Bill Cooper, the owner.
Hi, um, I'm looking for a woman in a bridal gown.
Her car's on the curb outside.
I I thought maybe she came in here.
- Clara.
- Yeah.
- She's in the ladies room right now.
- Oh.
Um Could you tell her that Percy's here? Of course.
Have a seat.
I'll go get her.
Um, can I get you a drink? Oh, I don't drink.
I'm a Christian.
Violet thinks Benjamin is cheating on her with some no-good, low-down dirty tramp.
Who could that be? Oh, you mean me? [ Laughs .]
Hey, girls.
Can one of you tell Clara that Percy wants to talk to her? Dad, we're dealing with something right now.
Yeah.
[Sighs.]
Clara? Are you decent? If I were "decent," I wouldn't be in this mess! - Clara, I know you're in there.
- Go away! Look, I will not go away! Percy's waiting for you.
- Tell him to go away.
- I will not tell him to go away! Look, he came looking for you.
He must care about you.
Just tell him the truth.
If he's the man you think he is, he'll forgive you.
You think he'll forgive me for sleeping with fourteen men? Excuse me, we're talking! Fourteen?! And I only counted Oscar once, even though I saw him again two years later.
I'm not even close to being the woman Percy thinks I am.
[ Crying .]
Look, look, look, look.
If he can't forgive you, well, at least you tried.
At least you won't have to spend the rest of your life wondering, "Did I throw away my one best chance to be happy?" So Go wash your face Go out there and be honest with that man.
Okay.
But I want you to be there when I tell him.
- Me? - Please? No, I Uh Uh Okay, so you're sure she doesn't suspect it's me? Not yet, but she's going to ask him tonight, and I got a feeling he might confess.
Oh, that man has the spine of a swizzle stick.
- He'll blame me for everything.
- Mm-hmm.
so you'd better do something and fast.
Benjamin? Hi.
It's Stan.
Uh, the fishing trip is off.
And you and I are never, ever, and I mean, never, hell-would-freeze-over before I go fishing with you ever again! Well, if you can't, you can't.
- Stan? - Yeah, he can't make it.
- Why not? - He had an emergency.
- What kind of emergency? - Uh, he His golden retriever had puppies.
Yeah.
So, uh, what do you feel like? How about a divorce? Percy? Clara? - Clara, are you all right? - I'm so sorry.
- What happened to you? - I couldn't go through with it.
I couldn't begin our marriage with a lie.
- What lie? - Tell him.
Percy, um Clara isn't as, um pure as she told you.
Oh.
I've been with men, Percy, before I even knew you.
- How many? - Percy? Percy, now you said you were a Christian, right? Yes.
So, you know the god Lord says, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
" - That's from the Book of Common Prayer.
- Close enough.
How many men? - Fourt - Four! I mean Four! I mean, that comes to what? Um Uh, three and two-thirds men every twenty years! I mean, these days, that's nothing.
That doesn't sound too terrible.
You forgive me? - Yes, I forgive you.
- Oh! I love you so much! Bill Cooper! Good to see you.
Oh! Pastor Wheatley! Good to see you, Pastor Wheatley.
[ Both laughing .]
- Where's the choir? - Bus is pulling up now.
We finished in third place.
Not bad for our little church, huh? Congratulations.
I've got your table right here, all ready.
Well What have we here? What we have here is a bride and groom in need of a preacher.
Glory glory, hallelujah since I laid my burdens down I'm so happy, so very happy since I laid my burdens down I'm so happy, so very happy since I laid my burdens down I feel better, so much better since I laid my burdens down I'm so happy, so very happy since I laid my burdens down I'm so happy, so very happy I'm so happy, so very happy I'm so happy, so very happy I'm so happy, so very happy I'm so happy, so very happy Pam: This has to be the first wedding cake with an edible black choir on top.
But then, this was like no wedding I had ever seen, even on television.
Anyway, there's something about a wedding that gets everyone very emotional, especially the woman.
I guess it had to do with marriage An institution that, according to my grandaddy, is one of the most wonderful and sacred in the world.
They're all coming directly from the GospelFest, where they have been competing against some of the best choirs in Atlanta.
But there's nothing like Belle's home cooking to celebrate their victory, or if they lose, drown their sorrows in barbecue.
[ Telephone rings .]
Belle's.
How can I help you? Oh, right! Oh, no, no, no.
We're ready for you.
Okay, bye.
Maurice! Maurice! - Yo? Yo? Yo? Yo? - That was Pastor Wheatley's assistant.
They're on their way.
They're going to be here in twenty minutes.
Now, thirty people showing up all at once could throw off most restaurants, but not Belle's.
My mom's been preparing for this night for weeks.
So, what could possibly go wrong? [ Crying .]
My car just broke down outside.
I don't have a phone.
I don't even know where I am.
Could you call a tow truck for me? I'll just wait over here and cry my eyes out! [ Crying hysterically .]
Then again, maybe I spoke too soon.
Okay, I called AAA.
A tow truck is on its way.
Do you think I might have a glass of wine - while I'm waiting? - Of course.
Napa Valley chardonnay would be nice.
Maurice! What? How am I supposed to get the bar set up if you keep I swear to God, I ain't never seen that woman a day in my life! Just go get her a glass of white wine! Okay, all right, all right.
All right.
Move, Maurice.
Jill, come here.
Did you know there's a car out front with a "Just married" sign and tin cans tied to the bumper? - Who's that? - I assume, the driver.
Oh, okay.
Well, I need a favor.
I need to leave early.
Tonight? Oh, no, no, no, not tonight.
Pastor Wheatley and the whole choir is coming I'm sorry.
It's important.
I'm going away for the weekend with Benjamin Caldwell.
- Benjamin Caldwell is married.
- Temporarily married.
He's getting a divorce, and once he does, it's quite likely that he and I will be Well, do I need to spell it out for you? He comes in here with his wife all the time.
I know.
That's how we met.
They seem real happy together.
Okay, well, according to Benjamin, their marriage is like two escalators going in different directions.
[ Laughs .]
And you believe everything he says? Why shouldn't I? - Number one, he's married.
- Don't say that again.
Number two, he's a lawyer.
And number three, he's a man.
And what am I going to tell Dad when he asks where you are? Tell him I suddenly came down with the flu.
Oh, okay.
Right.
That you're in bed and flat on your [ Telephone rings .]
Hello? [ Crying .]
Here.
Here you go.
Um, if you're hungry, here's our menu for happy hour.
[ Crying .]
Pastor Wheatley and the entire church choir - will be here in exactly - Twenty minutes, I know! Well, nothing's ready.
I don't see anything ready.
'Cause I'm still cooking, Bill, if you'd just stop pestering me.
These chops should have been in the pan by now.
Don't tell me how to time my chops! And these greens These greens are only half done! Stop sticking your nose in places it don't belong! And where's the corny cornbread? You know how Pastor Wheatley loves his corny cornbread.
The oven, like it's supposed to be.
- Now, shoo.
- "Shoo"? You heard me.
- You can't tell me to shoo.
- Just did, didn't I? - What am I, a stray cat or something? - What you are is in my way.
"Shoo"? Yeah, that's right.
Shoo.
- This is my kitchen! - Not when I'm in it, it's not! [ Wailing cry .]
Jill! Why is there a woman in a bridal dress crying at the pastor's table? Her car broke down.
I called AAA.
- They're on the way.
- She can't stay there.
Well, obviously, she's going through some traumatic event.
- We can't just throw her out.
- This is a restaurant, not an underground railroad for runaway brides.
Go over there and tell her she'll have to wait somewhere else.
Look, the woman's a time bomb waiting to go off.
Aw, the poor lady.
What kind of man leaves a nice woman like that just sitting at the altar? Jill, you let her in, you get her out.
You want her out, you're going to have to throw her out yourself.
Oh, not me.
I don't work with tears.
Okay, I'll do it.
[ Sighs .]
- Excuse me, miss? - Clara.
Clara, I'm the owner.
Oh, you're the man I have to thank for letting me stay.
- What? - Thank you - So much! - No Because I wouldn't know what to do if it weren't for your kindness! - Clara - I have no place to go, - no one else to turn to.
- Clara My life's a mess! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Ow! Oh, God! Jill, did you tell Dad that I have to leave early? No, I didn't.
I've got other things on my mind.
Well, you'd better, because Benjamin is picking me up any second Speak of the devil.
Benjamin? And he brought his wife.
What do you know? [ Laughs .]
We're sorry we didn't make reservations.
Oh, there's a private party in the main room.
Oh, it was a last-minute, spur of the moment type of thing.
But we could set up a table for you at the bar.
The bar area would be fine.
Wouldn't it, darling? Of course.
The bar is fine with me.
Okay, Loreta, a cozy table for two at the bar.
- Right this way.
- Thank you, Loreta.
[ Laughs .]
Uh, one firebird chicken, white sweet potato with honey, - and mustard greens with ham hock.
- Who's this for? - What difference does it make? - No difference.
I'm just asking who it's for, 'cause there's no one in the restaurant, and the couple at the bar haven't even ordered yet.
It's for the bride.
Oh! The one at Pastor Wheatley's table.
Yes, the one at Pastor Wheatley's table.
- You said you were getting rid of her.
- I am.
Sure don't look like it to me.
It couldn't hurt to feed her first.
- Thank you.
- Ah! You Oh, it's hot.
Did I forget to tell you? [ Sarcastic laugh .]
- She'd better eat fast.
- We have time.
- We have fifteen minutes.
- I'm going to handle this, okay? And when have I heard that before? You [ Laughs .]
I told you we'd get a table.
Well, I just didn't want you to be disappointed.
After ten years of marriage, a little late to be worried about that.
[ Cell phone rings .]
- That's your phone.
- Uh.
- Aren't you going to get it? - Yeah, sure.
Hello? What are you doing here with your wife? Hey, Stan! Listen, I'm, uh, at dinner with my wife, I can't talk.
I know who you're having dinner with.
So, I'll call you back, okay? Great.
That was Stan.
He wanted to see what time we're leaving.
- The fishing trip, right? - Yeah.
[ Cell phone rings .]
Telephone.
Hey, Stan.
Stan.
Don't you ever hang up on me again.
- Now, what is going on here? - Oh, Stan.
Uh, listen Of course, the fishing trip is still on.
It just depends on what time I'll be leaving.
Uh, so listen, I'll call you back, okay? Great.
Oh, he wanted to see if we could leave early.
Hey, how's my two favorite people? - Maurice! Hello.
- How you doing? - Drinks before dinner? - Yes, please.
Rum and Coke.
- Hey, you've got it.
The usual? - Yeah.
- All right.
- Thanks "The usual"? You're a regular here? [ Cell phone rings .]
Oh, let me guess.
Stan.
- Hey.
- Okay, dig this here.
I'm outside the ladies room, and you've got one minute to get your narrow behind back here and tell me what the hell you are doing here with your wife! - I I lost him.
Lost him.
- Mm-hmm.
Bad connection.
I'll call him back.
- So, uh, let's see what's good.
- Let's.
- Feeling better? - A little.
Well, life's always better on a full stomach.
This is the best fried chicken I ever had.
My wife Belle's special recipe.
- She passed.
- I'm so sorry.
Next Sunday, we'd have been married forty years.
- I bet you were so happy.
- Very happy.
That was the life I dreamed of with Percy! [ Crying .]
Not that we didn't have our rough moments.
I ruined my life! I ruined his! Look Look at it this way.
Any man who would leave his bride at the altar the way he did isn't worth a plate of beans.
Oh, no, he didn't leave me.
I left him.
- I thought that - No.
I was the one who couldn't go through with it.
Right before the minister said, "Do you take this man" I looked into Percy's dear, innocent eyes, - and I ran from the church.
- Why would you do that? I suddenly realized I couldn't begin my marriage with a lie.
- What kind of lie? - Well You have to know the kind of man Percy is.
The most important thing in the world to him is that he marry a woman that is pure.
- "Pure"? - Virginal.
I think I'll check on that tow truck.
But we even went to celibacy school together! I graduated first in my class! He was so proud of me! My chastity meant so much to him, I couldn't bear to hurt him! You wouldn't have any more banana pudding, would you? I just might.
Call the tow truck and tell them there's an extra $20 in it if they're here in the next five minutes.
I'm sorry.
I got here as quick as I could.
I'm listening.
Well, I was ready to walk out of the house, and out of the blue, Violet said she wanted to go out for dinner.
She wanted to have a talk.
- I had no choice.
- So, you brought her here? I'll work it all out, baby, I promise.
Hi.
It's Belle's.
Again.
Yeah, I was checking on that tow truck? Five minutes? Great.
- Have a seat.
- Okay.
Jill, I know Benjamin comes to Belle's a lot.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen him here with another woman? Uh-uh.
Never.
Another woman? Of course not.
- Why? - Because I know he's having an affair.
And he comes up with the most ridiculous excuses when he comes home late.
One time he told me that his boss' son's pet snake got lost, and he had to go help them find it.
- Hmm.
- Another time he told me he backed over a cat and had to take it to the vet.
Interesting how all of his excuses involve animals.
All I know is he is cheating on me with some no-good, low-down tramp.
Do you have any idea who that might be? No! But I'm going to find out tonight.
He's not leaving here until he tells me who she is.
Of course, if that were true, and I'm not saying that it is, he'll probably deny everything.
Not after I tell him I'm calling my brothers in Detroit.
- Brothers? - All six of them.
I promise, after this weekend, I'm going to ask for a divorce.
Oh, you've been saying that for months.
Well, it's not that simple.
It takes time.
These things have to be handled in the right way.
You're a divorce lawyer, for God's sake! This is the best banana pudding.
Your wife's recipe? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look, look, here's the plan.
The tow truck will be here any minute.
Now, you don't want to miss that, so you'll need to be outside.
Oh, no! It's Percy! I can't face him! [ Crying .]
Wha Good! You finally got rid of her! Just in time, too.
The pastor's going to be here any minute! I just talked to Violet.
[ Shrieking and crying .]
You've got yourself one big problem.
Hi.
I'm Bill Cooper, the owner.
Hi, um, I'm looking for a woman in a bridal gown.
Her car's on the curb outside.
I I thought maybe she came in here.
- Clara.
- Yeah.
- She's in the ladies room right now.
- Oh.
Um Could you tell her that Percy's here? Of course.
Have a seat.
I'll go get her.
Um, can I get you a drink? Oh, I don't drink.
I'm a Christian.
Violet thinks Benjamin is cheating on her with some no-good, low-down dirty tramp.
Who could that be? Oh, you mean me? [ Laughs .]
Hey, girls.
Can one of you tell Clara that Percy wants to talk to her? Dad, we're dealing with something right now.
Yeah.
[Sighs.]
Clara? Are you decent? If I were "decent," I wouldn't be in this mess! - Clara, I know you're in there.
- Go away! Look, I will not go away! Percy's waiting for you.
- Tell him to go away.
- I will not tell him to go away! Look, he came looking for you.
He must care about you.
Just tell him the truth.
If he's the man you think he is, he'll forgive you.
You think he'll forgive me for sleeping with fourteen men? Excuse me, we're talking! Fourteen?! And I only counted Oscar once, even though I saw him again two years later.
I'm not even close to being the woman Percy thinks I am.
[ Crying .]
Look, look, look, look.
If he can't forgive you, well, at least you tried.
At least you won't have to spend the rest of your life wondering, "Did I throw away my one best chance to be happy?" So Go wash your face Go out there and be honest with that man.
Okay.
But I want you to be there when I tell him.
- Me? - Please? No, I Uh Uh Okay, so you're sure she doesn't suspect it's me? Not yet, but she's going to ask him tonight, and I got a feeling he might confess.
Oh, that man has the spine of a swizzle stick.
- He'll blame me for everything.
- Mm-hmm.
so you'd better do something and fast.
Benjamin? Hi.
It's Stan.
Uh, the fishing trip is off.
And you and I are never, ever, and I mean, never, hell-would-freeze-over before I go fishing with you ever again! Well, if you can't, you can't.
- Stan? - Yeah, he can't make it.
- Why not? - He had an emergency.
- What kind of emergency? - Uh, he His golden retriever had puppies.
Yeah.
So, uh, what do you feel like? How about a divorce? Percy? Clara? - Clara, are you all right? - I'm so sorry.
- What happened to you? - I couldn't go through with it.
I couldn't begin our marriage with a lie.
- What lie? - Tell him.
Percy, um Clara isn't as, um pure as she told you.
Oh.
I've been with men, Percy, before I even knew you.
- How many? - Percy? Percy, now you said you were a Christian, right? Yes.
So, you know the god Lord says, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
" - That's from the Book of Common Prayer.
- Close enough.
How many men? - Fourt - Four! I mean Four! I mean, that comes to what? Um Uh, three and two-thirds men every twenty years! I mean, these days, that's nothing.
That doesn't sound too terrible.
You forgive me? - Yes, I forgive you.
- Oh! I love you so much! Bill Cooper! Good to see you.
Oh! Pastor Wheatley! Good to see you, Pastor Wheatley.
[ Both laughing .]
- Where's the choir? - Bus is pulling up now.
We finished in third place.
Not bad for our little church, huh? Congratulations.
I've got your table right here, all ready.
Well What have we here? What we have here is a bride and groom in need of a preacher.
Glory glory, hallelujah since I laid my burdens down I'm so happy, so very happy since I laid my burdens down I'm so happy, so very happy since I laid my burdens down I feel better, so much better since I laid my burdens down I'm so happy, so very happy since I laid my burdens down I'm so happy, so very happy I'm so happy, so very happy I'm so happy, so very happy I'm so happy, so very happy I'm so happy, so very happy Pam: This has to be the first wedding cake with an edible black choir on top.
But then, this was like no wedding I had ever seen, even on television.
Anyway, there's something about a wedding that gets everyone very emotional, especially the woman.
I guess it had to do with marriage An institution that, according to my grandaddy, is one of the most wonderful and sacred in the world.