Blockbuster (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Okay, Aaron's on his way to Chad's
to play poker.
My Postmate is on his way to Sandwich Hell
to pick up my Monte Anti-Cristo,
and Mommy's on her way
to having the best night of her life.
I cannot wait to watch that
Sorry, TV and a sandwich
is the best night of your life?
What's rock bottom?
Not just any TV.
It's that new Korean show
everyone's talking about.
Trout Royale? Oh, so good.
Who knew there are so many items
in an orchestra to strangle someone with?
No. No spoilers.
I avoided social media for a week
just so I can binge the whole thing
once I got the house to myself.
Sometimes you just need to kick back
from the nagging husband.
Am I right, Con?
Totally.
I tried doing a Solo Sunday once a month,
but just ended up inviting Raul.
Kind of funny that you moved back in
with Aaron less than a month ago
and you need a break.
[chuckles weakly] Yeah, it's hilarious.
Hey, Con, we got any copies
of Stand and Deliver?
This guy is subbing for Mrs. Hollinger,
who was my eighth grade math teacher.
She's taking her first day off
in 20 years.
She got arrested,
but I'm glad she's getting a breather.
Stand and Deliver,
three copies, Latin Classics.
Nope, all rented out.
Why is Scarface here?
Pacino is doing full-on Cuban face.
It says we have three.
How about Freedom Writers
or The Blind Side?
I don't want to
- Teach. We went to public school.
- White Savior section.
Weird, none of those are here.
Forget it, I'll just show them Titanic
and skip over the boobs.
Or not. Who cares?
You really gotta
stop putting off inventory.
I opened a La La Land case
and there was just
a loose piece of deli meat.
Arguably an improvement, but
You know what?
Eliza's right, gang,
we're doing inventory tonight.
Oh, come on.
Thanks, narc.
Fun.
Sorry, but think about
how much longer everything takes
searching for missing DVDs.
[phone chiming repeatedly]
Geez, your mom finally learned to text?
No, she's into annoying calls
without warning.
These are all women from the bar.
We're in a group chat.
I feel like I'm being forced
into a sister wives situation.
Wow. Guess you left quite the impression.
Just promise me you won't have 18 kids.
Well, guys, if you'll excuse me,
I am trout-a here.
I'm stealing that.
Whoa, inventory will take all of us.
Even you, Eliza.
But I'm not on the schedule
and Trout Royale
Oh, masterpiece.
So good.
It's been out for six days.
If I could go back in time
and tell 5-year-old me
the biggest shows and bands
in the world are gonna be Korean,
he'd be like, "Whoa, time travel exists?
How do we die?"
I die in Guy Fieri's
Times Square restaurant. Mm!
Yeah. Well, you're totally right, Eliza,
you are not on the schedule.
It is up to you
if you want to suggest
a bunch of work for the rest of us
then go home and watch TV.
Damn it.
[theme music playing]
[groans]
- Hey, babe, I'm still at work.
- Hey.
- What's up?
- I just wanted to see you.
- I miss you, Goose.
- Oh, yeah? Thanks.
Anything else?
What if I came home from poker night early
so we can cuddle up to some Yellowstone?
- Early? No, no, no.
- Yeah, yeah.
Come on, babe. This is your night.
You never get to see the boys anymore.
Honestly, stay out later,
you know, poker, strip club,
eat a heat lamp buffalo wing.
I do love those. [chuckles]
I don't understand the difference.
The Room is a drama that is funny,
and Room is a drama that's traumatic.
Very different films.
[as Tommy Wiseau]
"You're tearing me apart, Lisa."
[whispering]
"Ah! I'm kidnapped in a basement."
Oh, so one of them
has "The" in front of it.
Makes sense.
This is so fun, like a sleepover.
[Connie] That's the spirit.
We'll stay up late, play Truth or Dare,
someone will end up dead,
our terrible secret will bond us.
We'll eat Doritos.
No. Not the spirit.
Isn't your big accounting final tomorrow?
Tell Timmy to let you go study.
- Everyone's accounting on you.
- [laughs]
I should credit the Popsicle stick
I read that on.
[Carlos] It's fine.
I never study and I always get a B,
I'm weirdly good at accounting.
[sighs] That was the saddest thing
I've ever said.
Saddest thing I've ever said
is "One ticket for Space Jam 2."
Aw Look at the family working together.
You're making me a very proud
Blockbuster daddy right now.
How about we turn this inventory party
into an inventory pizza party.
- I'm buying. What do people want?
- Overtime pay.
Extra pepperoni will do.
- Okay.
- Gang, little less talky-talky,
little more restocky-stocky. Yes?
- I just got off with Aaron
- How's his boys' night?
So great.
There's a chance he comes home early,
which I love, by the way,
so we need to make inventory happen now.
If we're done by 11:00, that gives me
three hours to finish Trout Royale.
- I don't think that's enough time.
- It is at one-and-a-half speed.
You were what ruined cinema.
Don't worry, at this rate,
you'll get home by 9:00.
You'll get your "you" time.
We need to stick together.
- [phone ringing]
- Ooh.
[Umma] You're not gonna believe
what your father did.
Umma, what's wrong?
My mom needs me.
Again? What is it now?
Does she need you to pick out a hat color
or carry her golf clubs?
Those are errands.
She said "emergency." There's a reason
the word's the same in every language.
Okay. That's for sure not true.
Why can't she ask your dad?
Isn't that a perk of living at the same
retirement resort as your ex-husband?
I don't understand
how that was a good idea.
My parents have
a complicated relationship.
- That's normal.
- Sure.
It's totally normal
to call your adult son over
to mediate a custody schedule
for a golf instructor.
Fine. So, I'm a good son.
They're always dragging you over there
to referee their fights.
Doesn't your mom
have anyone else she can call?
My mom's a required taste.
- You mean "acquired taste."
- No, required.
As in I'm required to help her
whenever she calls.
Come on, man, we've talked about this.
You're absolutely right, but I gotta go.
[groans] Okay, fine. Just hurry.
Without you, this will take all night.
Okay, but if you really need me back,
let me borrow your car.
I have one star on Uber.
They're not coming.
Fine.
Not that I have a phobia,
but you're not gonna give rides
to any old people, are you?
No. I mean, I don't know. But no promises.
- [car door closes]
- [engine starts]
- Timmy, take off the emergency brake.
- [brakes squealing]
So I take it this is not a real emergency?
Eliza was right.
It's an emotional emergency. Wait.
Eliza, Eliza?
The one you used to like in high school?
So she's finally decided to date you?
It only took 20 years.
We are not dating.
I'm over her. Way over.
She's married, or sort of married,
and it doesn't matter because I'm dating.
Three women I met at a bar
who all communicate
exclusively in low-res GIFs.
I'm doing very well.
Sounds more like a cry for help.
Will you tell me the problem
so I can get back to work?
Your abeoji is at his scams again.
It's not a scam.
I'm just telling the nurse I have diabetes
so I can get diabetic ice cream
instead of prunes.
Then you sell it to the other residents.
That's a scam.
It's a business,
but your mother ratted me out.
So yet another revenue stream
destroyed by her.
Appa, can you just say I'm sorry?
Wait, what's up with the wheelchair?
I am unable to walk.
Unwilling.
The years of emotional duress
your father caused me
has finally affected my legs.
- Maybe he should say sorry for that too.
- Fat chance.
It says "Sheila" on it.
It's mine. And, besides,
I need it more than she does.
How about a movie night?
That used to take your minds off
how much you hate each other.
And I happen to have a copy of Lilo and
Saw III.
We're doing inventory,
we're doing inventory.
Saw III is the best of the franchise,
created by an Asian brother.
Everyone knows that.
No way you knew.
- I will punch you, old man.
- Give me your best shot.
[Umma] I should've married Dennis.
He was the one for me.
[Appa] Go ahead. Let's see what
you can do. You know, you
- [whimpering]
- Excuse me. Are you Sheila?
- [body thuds]
- Ooh.
Okay, so just log the inventory
directly into the computer.
It should be Timmy's job,
but he's too busy
crawling back into the womb.
We don't need Timmy.
I've done this a million times.
It's the first time I've done it
after the witching hour.
- It's like 7:00.
- Exactly.
I'm usually asleep in front of the TV
having a nightmare about James Corden.
Don't let the accent fool you.
He's a bully and a menace.
There'll be plenty of time for your
Carpool Karaoke night terrors later.
Now, we need your skills.
Aye-aye, captain.
In certain lights,
you look like Captain Kirk.
[yawns]
- What's wrong with Connie?
- Her favorite restaurant is Souplantation,
she keeps asking when
"Mambo Number Six" is coming out
No, I mean, she's half-asleep.
Oh! She never stays up this late.
Calls herself a day owl,
and I don't have the heart to correct her.
This is supposed to be my "me" time.
I should be on my couch cuddling my cat,
a bag of Sour Smurfs
and Target's finest Merlot.
Is this what Cathy is?
No, that comic strip lady
is doing surprisingly better.
[phone ringing]
Hola, Papá.
Hola, mijo! We wanted to send you
good luck on your final.
- How's the studying?
- Great. I've studied non-stop.
I know all my numbers
in English and in Spanish.
[woman] Corazón, go get ready for work.
- You're going to be late.
- Come, look.
Oh, mijo, how are you doing?
Cómo estás? Are you eating?
I'm eat It's late.
Why is Dad leaving for work now?
Don't worry, I picked up night shifts.
We are so proud of you.
You'll be an accountant in no time.
I gotta go study. Te amo.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye, bye.
Where are you going? Connie's fading fast.
- I need you on the computer.
- Sorry, I need to study.
I'm never gonna Trout Royale.
[groans] Will no one sacrifice
for my greater good?
You sure you haven't seen it?
That's their tagline.
[man on TV] The game is death
All right, some p-corn for my umma,
your favorite, num, num, yum,
and good vintage.
You guys good?
- Yes, we're fine.
- Yeah, thanks.
[man on TV] Now your turn to choose
Where is everyone?
I can't do inventory by myself, people.
You'll all feel bad when they find my body
under an avalanche of Wedding Crashers.
I'm here. Let me help.
- Actually, Hannah.
- No
- Not what I meant.
- Don't worry, I
I just alphabetized those!
Made peace for my parents,
chugged an Ensure,
now I am jacked for inventory.
- Let's do this.
- Took you long enough.
- Where are we?
- Connie's acting extra weird,
Carlos is studying,
Hannah's doing the thing
where she tries to help
but makes things worse.
So we're right where we were
when you abandoned us.
Only, you're a lot meaner.
I'm not mean. I'm hungry.
Oh, the pizza.
I totally forgot. That's on me.
I'll input these numbers while I order.
That is multitasking. Plus garlic knots?
And cheesy bread.
It's the least you can do.
I should be bra-less
I will get you home soon. I promise.
[sniffing]
Every DVD tells a story.
What?
Good evening. I'm Regina Rosenchurch
filling in for Floy Beckam,
who is on vacation.
Scientists are warning
that an upcoming solar storm
could result in a blackout
for the entire Midwest.
Today's top story
I thought you
weren't worried about the exam.
If accounting is what I'll do
for the rest of my life,
I should try harder.
No immigrant parents
have ever been proud of a B.
I love B's, they're home school A-pluses.
Sure you can't take a short break?
A customer's deciding between two movies
Connie hasn't seen
and she's making up what they're about
based on the title.
I can't. I have to study.
You sure?
One is Michael Clayton.
and that's where
the Clayton part comes in.
Okay.
Yes, two large pizzas
I'm sorry, venti pizzas and garlic knots
- [phone ringing]
- Hold on, I'm getting another call.
Appa, what's up?
Okay there, Eliza girl.
Call me Beau Bridges
because I am making beaucoup progress.
- Okay.
- Yeah, about to grab some DVDs to log.
Call me Kenny Loggins
because I am loggin'.
What's going on?
Marvin Gaye's greatest album, I concur.
No! No! Timmy! Timmy!
Grow up!
Your parents are manipulating you!
I know because I do it to my own kid,
but in my case it's for her own good!
[engine starts]
[car departs]
Great idea.
Get frosty because it looks like
you and I are carrying this No!
Are you a 4-year-old
in a paper towel commercial?
[groans]
Connie! Connie. Connie!
Are the cops here?
No! Wake up!
You may be slower on a computer
than the DMV sloth in Zootopia,
but you're all I've got!
I'm sorry.
Sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me.
I think I just Maybe you're right.
Maybe it is weird that I'm trying
to get away from Aaron
when we just got back together.
I should want him around,
but I just can't watch
Trout Royale with him
because he prefers
I mean, the man is allergic to reading,
and I just needed one night to myself.
Is that terrible?
Aaron is doing all the right things.
He's finally thinking of me for once.
So why does it feel like
I have a Clydesdale standing on my chest?
Am I a monster?
You're asleep.
Connie, I've got your favorite flavor.
Flat Sprite.
- Ooh!
- Yeah.
So good.
What's the emergency now?
Told you he loved me more.
That doesn't prove anything.
Plus you sped up your breathing, cheater.
- That's how I breathe.
- Wow.
So you forced me to abandon my staff again
for what feels like a bet?
No. We wanted to see you.
You're so obsessed with your store.
You know our family works best
when it's the three of us.
I saw you an hour ago
and my store is a real business.
Not like when I was a kid
and opened a restaurant in our basement.
I miss Taco Timmy's.
The people that work there,
who are being more of a family to me now
than you are,
are relying on me.
I wanna be there for them,
they're there for me.
I'm sorry, but I can't be a part of this
horrifying Rube Goldberg
of manipulation anymore.
Ouch.
But you're my special guy.
Yeah. We like you and stuff.
I love you guys, but I need to
set some boundaries for my own sake.
So here's the deal.
From now on,
you have to get along on your own
and settle your own fights
without my help.
We can do that.
I can try.
I mean, I will.
Good.
And you have to give Sheila
back her wheelchair.
Thank you.
Connie!
What did you do?
What I had to.
I've got two hours until Aaron gets home.
I can watch the first and last episodes
and use context to fill in the middle.
You'll miss the big twist
when they discover one of the trout's
Ready to do inventory, Con?
Eat my shorts, mija.
["Tres Delinquentes" playing]
That's upsetting.
Oh, let me grab my phone.
Hate that.
Stick to TV, sweetie.
This is the first sighting
of this rare day owl after dark.
Now, filterless,
we see her stalk her prey.
You're bad in that.
[music continues]
Your ex had better taste in movies.
She also was a Japanese sex robot.
Sorry, a Japanese-American sex robot.
[groans]
Don't know it, don't want to.
- Don't say it.
- Come on.
You love this,
and I know you hate accounting.
My parents just got on board
with the whole bisexual thing.
I can't drop another huge thing.
There should be a holiday
between blindsidings.
I guess, but it's time you could
spend chasing your dream.
When you have immigrant parents,
you don't just chase your dreams.
They have dreams you're supposed to follow
and going to film school isn't one.
Why is no one working?
Do you people even want to go home?
Am I the only one
who values eventually leaving?
Calm down. I'm just trying to get Carlos
to come out as a filmmaker.
What's all the commotion, nerds?
Gotta be honest, love this color on you.
Carlos is afraid to tell his parents
he's the next Michael Bay.
More like Robert Rodriguez.
A lot more, but without the weird hats.
You have to choose
what will make you happy.
You don't wanna end up like Eliza.
- Stuck.
- Stuck?
I'm not stuck. No one is stuck.
The definition of stuck is frozen,
fixed in place, can't be moved.
I never stop making moves.
My life is awesome.
I mean he doesn't want to wake up one day
and realize he's out of options.
Sorry, options he actually likes.
You get it.
Eliza, I'd love to be you,
you have very comfy looking shoes and
You're great at karaoke.
Connie doesn't know what she's saying.
I'm not stuck.
Okay, I'm just building my résumé
with skills like inventory.
Didn't realize energy drinks
made you a dick.
[Connie] Hey, turtleneck,
you can also eat my shorts.
[thunder rumbling]
Guess who's back.
Yeah, for now.
No, for good.
I told my folks I'm done
jumping through hoops for them,
literally and figuratively.
My mom used to make me
do Westminster Dog Show drills.
Good for you
for finally standing up for yourself.
I couldn't have done it without you
pushing me to be a better leader.
I am not here to push you
or to clean up your messes, Timmy.
This was my one day to relax
without anyone bothering me.
- Some of us have lives, you know.
- I know.
You're totally right.
Which is why I'm sending everyone home,
and I'm gonna finish inventory myself.
I'm really sorry, Eliza.
It's so weird hearing the word "sorry"
coming from a male voice.
13-year-old Timmy thanks you
for saying I have a male voice.
My folks went through their whole marriage
without ever saying sorry.
It's time to break some patterns,
which is why I'm sorry
you didn't get to watch Trout Royale.
It's really good,
but I will make it up to you, I swear.
It's cool. I read the plot summary,
while I was hiding from Connie
in the storage closet.
Did you watch it with the English dub
Who'd do that?
I'm sorry I got so mad.
It's my own stuff. See you tomorrow?
[dramatic music playing]
Hate that. No, no, no.
Do you think this is a game?
[cackling]
[video stops]
It's really good.
I kind of just threw it together.
You talk about wanting to be a director,
but you're like already a director.
I guess I am.
Thanks.
All right. I think I'm ready
to come out to my parents.
That's my guy.
Carpe diem, seize the minute.
It's "day,"
but I'm not gonna seize it yet.
Come on. Call them and tell them
you want to go to film school.
It's crazy late.
I'm gonna tell them Sunday.
That's when my dad drinks.
Oh, mine too.
I give that marriage until Christmas.
What?
Eliza is a sweet girl.
That cheater doesn't make her happy.
She said so herself.
She said this today?
What else did she say?
They keep Walt Disney's head
under the castle.
[upbeat music playing]