BrainDead (2016) s01e06 Episode Script
Notes Toward a Post-Reagan Theory of Party Alliance, Tribalist, and Loyalty: Past as Prologue
1 Previously on BrainDead Well, it happened, it finally happened Laurel's got bugs in her brain Guess I didn't see this coming Isn't supposed to happen to the main character I hope her head does not explode Like other heads exploded thrice before Abby's dead, Stacie's infected Gareth's jealous and rejected Mean old Anthony got face-punched out the door There's no one left to dry your tears Hide your heart Protect your ears.
[gasps.]
Oh! Ow! Ow! No, no, no No, no, no.
[panting.]
[grunting.]
[screams.]
No, no! [screams.]
[gasps.]
[panting.]
[groaning.]
911, what's the exact location of your emergency? 857 Acker.
House or apartment? Apartment 2.
[screaming.]
- Are you all right, ma'am? - I need - I need medical assistance.
- What's the nature of your problem? Bugs crawled in my ear! I need help! [line beeps.]
Got one of those calls, Ms.
Mooser.
Good, transfer it my way.
You have bugs in your ear, ma'am? Yes! Yes.
- I need help.
Please hurry.
- We're calling for an EMT right now, ma'am.
Please stay on the line.
Don't hang up.
[grunting.]
[pounding on door.]
GUSTAV: Laurel! Get the cherry blossoms out! The bugs are in the flowers! [pounding continues.]
Laurel, wake up! It's the flowers! - Oh! - You got to get them out now! They're in.
Generique theme You need to call 911.
I called.
They're sending someone.
It's there! Hey, uh, we need someone here now.
We have an emergency.
Yes, sir, I understand.
EMTs are on the way.
- [grunts.]
- Well, how long? They're just busy with other calls at the moment.
45 minutes or so.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me! What? What did she say? No, don't worry.
We're fine.
We're fine.
Laurel: No, no, what did she? - [call waiting beeps.]
- Uh, hold on.
It's, uh, it's call waiting.
Hello? GARETH: Hello? - Who is this? - Gareth Ritter.
Who's this? Uh, Laurel doesn't have time for this right now.
- She'll call you back later.
- [Laurel screaming.]
- What's going on? - LAUREL: Oh, God! - Hey, what happened? - Uh, nothing.
We're all good here, bye.
[meowing.]
[muffled laugh.]
- LAUREL: I can feel it in my mind.
- Uh-huh.
- They're eating at my brain.
- Okay, okay.
Uh look at me.
Uh, just keep, keep breathing.
- [exhales.]
- What do you have memorized? - What? - Do you know the periodic tables? - Hydrogen, lithium, sodium, potassium.
- No.
- What are you? Seriously? - Gustav! Presidents.
Do-do presidents.
Okay, Washington, - um, Jefferson - [knocking.]
- Oh, good, the paramedics! - I got it! You keep going.
Um, Madison, Jackson It's in the cherry blossoms? Yes, but, uh, she's got bugs in her - LAUREL: Who is it?! - Rochelle.
911 is just a few minutes away.
Oh, my God, Laurel! Are you all right? Uh, she's reciting presidents.
Uh - Jackson - Do you have any bacon? - Monroe.
- Okay, here we go.
Van Buren.
I knew this.
I know this! - ROCHELLE: I know.
- There's no bacon! Why don't you have any bacon?! - Can you see anything? - No Uh, here.
What is that? Salami It's all she had.
Are you insane?! It draws out the screwworms.
- Aah, I can feel it going.
- It's okay, it's okay.
Don't close your eyes.
How many fingers? That's what I did with your dad.
And that's, that's what I did with Oscar.
I talked him through the chess moves.
Lateralization of brain function.
What about it? Left brain, right brain.
Uh, we're going about this all wrong.
You don't, you don't, you don't battle it with logic, you Stop! Stop! Stop thinking about presidents! Stop-stop thinking at all, uh We've been battling the bugs with the wrong side of the brain.
They went in the left ear, so we have to attack from the right.
- How do I stop thinking? - He's right.
Music.
[cheers.]
Right brain functions.
Non-verbal.
Um, intuition, art, music.
- Uh, feelings, movement.
- Risk taking, Passion Laurel? We need to spark your intuitive brain.
Your non-logical.
Food, alcohol where is it? [gasps.]
Oh no, wait.
No.
Stop.
Don't think about where it is I'll find it.
[loud rock music playing.]
Itsy bitsy teeny weeny, ah, ah - Bikini, education - ROCHELLE: I got it.
Take a drink.
- From the bottle? - Yeah, now, do it.
Down, down, baby Okay, get up.
Dance.
Sweet, sweet candy What? I can't Yes.
You can.
Come on, grab my arm.
Here we go.
Come on, take another drink.
By the broken glass Five dollar baggies on the ground This isn't gonna work.
Does it still hurt? Rising high above Shimmy, shimmy ko-ko bop Shimmy, shimmy rye Shimmy, shimmy ko-ko bop, shimmy, shimmy rye On this January Sunday We watch the airplanes fly away As they rise up from the airport Above the Meadowland Highway As we crash through heaven's tollbooth In our fleeting getaway car - Oh, my - Are you throwing up? - No.
They're moving.
- Good.
No, I don't think so.
We need to be more aggressive.
Uh, what else is right brain? [elephant bellows over TV.]
Until we're looking down - Into this Freedom Park - [knocking.]
[moaning over speakers.]
Hi.
Is Laurel here? Oh, he's here.
[laughing.]
: Of course.
That makes so much sense.
She's fine.
She'll call you later.
Wait, wait, wait.
Um Gareth, right? Yeah.
Why? What's wrong? Is Laurel all right? Sweet, sweet candy, mama never let you go Bugs? You have met your match.
Ice cream soda with a cherry on top No.
She needs your help.
Walking down the street I meant it, I said it, ooh, I'm gonna get it I'm cool, I'm hot, sock it to me In the stomach three more times.
Laurel has a condition where she needs a burst of dopamine.
Excuse me? Hi.
Hi.
I just came to make sure you're all right.
LAUREL: I am.
I'm Gah, I'm not supposed to think.
- You're not? - No, no.
Why not? Uh, to explain would be to think.
And I'm not supposed to think.
[chuckles.]
Okay.
Then, let's not think.
Actually, I was thinking.
And right in the middle of a good dream, like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain.
Before I go insane, I put a pillow to my head.
And spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread.
I think I love you I think I love you.
What is this karaoke night? This morning, I woke up with a feeling I didn't know how to deal with And so I just decided to myself - [chuckles.]
- I'd hide it to myself And never talk about it But didn't I go and shout it when you walked into the room I think I love you - I think I love you - You've been drinking? Oh, yeah.
I think I love you So what am I so afraid of I'm afraid that I'm not sure of A love there is no cure for - Oh, we're dancing now? - Hell yeah.
I think I love you Isn't that what life is made of Though it worries me to say That I never felt this way What are we doing here? Getting the bugs out of my head.
Sure.
I don't know what I'm up against Are you sure you want to do this? - Yes.
- Yeah? - Now.
- Now? - Yes.
- Now, like, right now.
- Uh-huh.
- I think I love you So what am I afraid of I'm afraid that I'm not sure of A love there is no cure for You hungry? Don't stop.
I think I love you Isn't that what life is made of So it worries me to say I never felt this way Have you noticed in horror movies black people die first? [moans.]
Faster.
- Faster? - Yeah.
No, there, there.
Yeah, okay.
Uh, if you want me to kiss your breasts? No! Shh! There, yeah.
That's good.
There, yeah, more! There! It's working.
Okay, good.
- Can I just get my arm? - No! Not yet.
Do you think you love me I think I love you I think I love you I think I love you I think I love you [moaning.]
I think I love you [panting.]
I think I love you [snoring.]
[gasping.]
I What's up? Huh.
[door closes.]
Laurel? You okay? They're gone.
[sighs.]
[sighs.]
[chuckles.]
Got one.
REPORTER: We're half past the hour and focusing on the CDC budget vote.
Will the senate fund this critical institution? RED: Tax-and-spend?! ELLA: Yes, we tax and spend.
That's out damn job! - You are trying to create dys - No, it's because we're going broke.
- We can't pay for everyone.
- This has nothing to do with us going broke.
We are not a country where you can give handouts Look at Finland.
We should be taxing the rich - and redistributing the wealth.
- RED: Are you serious? Have you been to Finland? - It's like an empty parking lot with snow.
- Okay, okay.
- Tell me! - AMARANT: Good, good.
Get it out here.
But we go into that committee hearing, I want a straight up vote on refinancing the CDC.
There is $438 million - in pork in that bill! - Wow.
- One-third of the CDC budget.
- LUKE: Yes, And $80 million of that pork is coming back to your state, Red.
It's why you got reelected.
You bring home the money.
So don't get all hypocritical on us.
Times are changing.
I have e-mails - God, more e-mails.
- [knocking at door.]
Gareth, bring me the One Wayer e-mails.
ELLA: E-mails, as if they prove anything! They could all be coming from one guy in his mother's basement.
[indistinct shouting.]
[phone beeps.]
Hello? Hey.
It's Rochelle.
[sighs.]
Just seeing how you're doing.
I'm good.
Yeah, I guess.
You guess? If you have any hesitations, come in for a CAT scan.
No, no, I'm good.
No side effects.
In fact, I was wondering if the same thing might work on my friend Stacie.
Using the right brain? It's worth a try.
- How would you do it? - I don't know.
I'm working on that.
Did you examine the bug? We are doing that now.
Good.
Let's get together with what we found out.
Okay? Okay.
Oh, hey, um did you talk to Gareth afterwards? No.
Not yet.
Why? Did he see the - the bugs? - I don't know.
I can think of a dozen reasons why I'll never hear from him again.
Ever.
[chuckles.]
Call him.
People can be understanding.
Not after last night.
- Okay, I'll talk to you.
- Okay.
Hey.
How are you doing? It's Laurel.
Good.
How are you? Good.
I was wondering if we could meet up for drinks tonight.
I'm okay, Laurel, you don't have to worry about me.
I'm not angry at you.
No, no, it's not that.
It's, um, I have a scoop.
- For Roll Call.
- You do? What? I can't say over the phone.
I wanted to slip it to a friend.
Okay.
What time? It still hasn't moved.
It's like it's waiting for us.
What are you doing? Finding out its chemical composition.
Try the front appendage.
You have a spectrometer? Yep.
Rochelle What? GUSTAV: Look.
Bugs don't do that.
Do they? I've never seen it.
- Do you think these bugs might be from - Don't say it.
- What? - I don't know, but don't say it.
- Outer I'm just - Don't.
Shh! [Tension building.]
[quick knock.]
LUKE: Ah.
Here she is.
Here's who you want to see.
My sister.
Actually, Luke, I was just heading out.
No, because here's a constituent who needs your help.
Mr.
Brewster BREWSTER: Why can't you help me? I voted for you, not her.
Hi, Mr.
Brewster.
So good to see you again.
How may I help you? I have to ride three buses just to vote.
And if you lose your transfer, they make you pay again.
This is about your polling place? Yes.
What do you think I'm talking about? It used to be right across the street at the fire station.
Now I have to go 40 minutes away.
Have you discussed this with your local representative? No, my census taker.
She works in the state house now.
She said it all came down from the Maryland senator.
- You guys are my Maryland senator.
- Yes, but we Did she possibly mean Red Wheatus? I don't know.
There's too many of you people to figure out which is which.
Just don't give me the runaround, okay? I gotta take two buses now to go home.
You know that? One bus to the museum, three buses to vote! May I help you? Um, Laurel Healy for Gareth Ritter.
- Please.
- And what is this regarding? A constituent I have to help.
Actually, no.
Just just tell him I'm here.
No, wait.
Yes, it is work-related.
Would you take a seat, please? Actually, just don't say that.
Just say that I'm here and This is not kale.
I want kale! Sorry, Senator.
I know you.
Healy, right? Yes, Senator.
Come on in here.
I want to talk to you.
Well, come on.
So, you're the bleeding heart Healy, huh? "Bleeding heart"? Yeah.
The emotional one.
The one who cares about [fake sobs.]
poor veterans and their little cute daughters.
"Why is my daddy sick?" That's you, right? Not your brother.
I don't know.
I think it's both of us.
Why don't you go back to L.
A.
? Excuse me? Well, you don't like it here.
These aren't your people.
And things are gonna get bad very quickly.
Why do you care? Because you're in my way.
[chuckles.]
I work in constituent casework, Senator.
That's hardly in your way.
Well, here's the thing, Lana - Laurel.
- You've been slinking around - my chief of staff - Really? - Distracting him.
- He tell you that? No, no.
He doesn't know what you're about.
I do.
And what am I about? Unpredictability.
I know how your brother will act.
Strategists can read other strategists.
But you One day, you're emotional; the next, you're strategic; the next, you're having your woman time.
My "woman time"? Go back to L.
A.
You don't drink anymore, do you, Senator? Oh, I drink my kale-celery smoothies.
You should try 'em.
No alcohol? My body's a temple.
Why do you drink? 'Cause I like it.
It's fun.
There are other ways to have fun.
Joining other like-minded people in completing a mission Sounds like a blast.
What are these maps about? Uh, office work product.
It's not very smart of you to let me see them.
It won't matter.
You're gonna lose.
Then why do you care if I'm in the way? [chuckles.]
You are a sly one.
I'm gonna keep an eye on you.
[knocking at door.]
- Senator, the - Ah, Gareth, buddy, how are you? - I think you know Lana.
Yeah.
- Laurel.
She's here wanting to talk about my kale-celery smoothie intake.
[chuckles.]
Well I'll let you two talk.
And we'll talk again.
So.
Um So I'm not here about last night.
I'm here about gerrymandering.
Your office is coordinating gerrymandering with the Maryland State House.
One of our constituents complained.
Okay Let's back up.
[exhales.]
I think we should talk about last night.
[birds singing.]
I've had good nights, I've had bad nights, but I've never had Yes, it was odd.
I don't know what it was.
- [sighs.]
What did you see? - What did I What do you mean? When I fell unconscious, what did you see? I don't know what you're after.
I held you.
And then I got dressed.
So you didn't see anything near my ears? Your ears? No.
Okay, look.
I have these migraines, and I needed human contact.
And if I wasn't there? - But you were there.
- Yeah, but When you get these migraines, what do you do? Are you asking if I sleep around? No.
No, I just [exhales.]
I want to feel like I wasn't being used last night.
- It was great.
- It wasn't great.
It was weird.
- Okay, yes.
It was weird.
- [laughs.]
What do you want? For things to be normal.
I want to talk and joke and take you out to dinner.
And pay.
And then kiss you on your stoop one night and feel awkward about calling you the next day.
And then I talk to my friends and they say not to call because I'll come across too vulnerable, but of course, I call anyway.
And then we're, I don't know, happy and a little awkward on the phone together.
Okay.
Let's do that.
Why can't we do that? Because you were yelling at me to go faster while you ate chocolate and salami.
I just need some time to think.
Makes sense.
Oh, um what did you need when you came by the office? I need your list of gerrymander districts.
[quiet chuckle.]
We have a bug.
You do? How did you get it? GUSTAV: That That would take some explaining.
We did a spectrographic test.
It's 90% potassium chloride.
That could explain the head explosions.
Potassium chloride is combustible.
What's the other ten percent? Unknown.
"Unknown"? How could it be unknown? There are some other oddities here.
It moves.
Even after you cut it up.
Do you have the bug here? Yes.
We need your help.
We don't know what we're dealing with here.
And we don't have the equipment.
The CDC does.
GUSTAV: We're trusting you with this.
Someone risked their life to get this bug.
Gustav, I'm on your side.
[bangs gavel.]
There are 38 proposed amendments to the CDC budget.
We'll address them one at a time.
Senators will be limited to five minutes in discussing markups.
Uh, first, the proposed $48 million earmark for disease control maintenance in New York.
- I move to approve.
- I second.
Any discussion? None? All right, then.
If there's no discussion, we'll move to a vote RED: Actually, Senator, uh, if you don't mind.
But do you have an objection, Red? Well, I'll call it more of a hesitation.
I'm reading this comic book I think the young people call it, uh, a graphic novel.
It's called, uh, Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic.
Uh, a constituent gave it to me.
I thought it was funny.
[chuckles.]
But then, uh, then I realized who put it out.
It's our very own Centers for Disease Control.
The real one; the one we're discussing right now.
They put out a comic book about how to repel a zombie attack.
LUKE: This was merely a way to get people who usually don't care about disease to read about it.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Chairman.
I thought I had five minutes.
You do.
Continue.
Well, my question, uh, isn't about the cost of this.
I'm sure it's negligible.
My question is this.
Is the CDC devoting practical research time and money to a zombie apocalypse? Okay, that's crazy.
Then why are they investigating bugs that eat human brains? They're not.
Well, a constituent told me that a CDC researcher goes by the name of Dexter Wu or-or Wah Dr.
Wu? Is investigating bugs that take on zombie-like characteristics.
This is what I say.
We are about to approve a $1.
3 billon budget for the CDC.
We owe it to the taxpayers to make sure this money isn't spent on more zombie comic books and zombie bug research.
[applause.]
You're moving that we delay approval of the CDC budget? Yes, until such time as the CDC director can assure us that the people's money isn't being misspent.
[Intense music.]
Are you studying zombie bugs? Are you researching bugs that eat human brains? Well, I'm doing research into a bug that, yes, like a screwworm eats human flesh.
Stop.
But, sir Our budget is being held up by this.
This was given to me by a very trustworthy I don't care! [Cheerful music.]
[Mumbling.]
: 1200 Ridge Place Southeast to 17th Street Southeast.
8600 Good Hope to 25th Street.
[muttering.]
So, everybody thinks you're crazy.
And I'm here to calm their fears.
I'm just doing my job.
And what job is that? Red Wheatus is acting as a clearing house to gerrymandering.
Well, he's a senator.
And gerrymandering only affects house races.
He's working for a Republican majority in both houses.
So you want to show how ludicrously drawn the precincts are, embarrass Senator Wheatus into backing off? Yes.
Okay.
So here's some words of wisdom.
Politicians don't embarrass easily.
- You do.
- Mm-mm, I do not.
Senior year, Mom picking you up from school.
- Okay, thank you.
- And then that time your pants fell down around your knees that was good.
Have fun.
I'm going.
You know, the more ludicrous the district, the better.
[door closes.]
Allegany County.
So, you see it, too? Yeah.
Crop circles.
- Come on, you can't be going crazy.
- No, I'm just saying what does it mean? Nothing.
What could it mean? You're saying someone is gerrymandering districts into crop circles.
That doesn't make any sense.
Because these bugs are not of this world.
Oh, my God, you have been wanting to say that for weeks.
- GUSTAV: How else do you explain all ? - ROCHELLE: A million reasons! Demographics.
I-I don't know.
But why would creatures from another world be making crop circles out of voting districts? It makes no sense.
Look.
The circles they're all pointing towards something.
Capitol Hill they're taking over the government.
They're coming for us.
Okay, let's try to maintain, please.
LAUREL: What did you find out about that bug? - The one that you caught? - Yeah, Rochelle.
What did we find out about it? That has nothing to do with this.
- What? - We gave it to Wu at the CDC for a more "thorough examination," and his boss took it away from him.
- Why? - The budget.
Red Wheatus.
ROCHELLE: They argued the CDC was being frivolous with their budget, looking into bugs.
So everything was put into storage.
- Oh, God.
- GUSTAV: Don't you see? We're in a game of chess with a higher intelligence.
That wouldn't be hard.
When we make a move, they make a counter move.
Where are you going? To find out about the CDC.
We take the fight to Red.
He wants to stop the government from working.
The CDC is just the beginning.
LUKE: Good, so we're all on the same page.
We hold together.
Now Amarant's on our side, so are two other moderate Republicans.
You're gonna trust the Republicans? Ella, stop with the propaganda.
It's just us here Excuse me.
[chuckles.]
Propaganda.
You can get the CDC back up and running? Yeah, this time we have the votes.
I just can't be seen going on about bugs, okay? Mm-hmm.
Hi.
[paper crumpling.]
Hey.
What was that? Nothing.
Just a note I was leaving.
Well, you could give it to me.
Yeah.
I do.
Good.
Look, I don't want things to I don't want things to be awkward.
And I heard my boss had a talk with you about us.
Yes.
I told him not to again.
I just don't like when work impacts [chuckles.]
life.
So, tonight? "Tonight"? Drinks? Oh, yes.
Um no.
Unfortunately, I have to meet a friend.
How about tomorrow night? Mm-hmm.
[chuckles.]
Gareth? Thank you.
We can make this normal again.
[quietly.]
: Yeah.
Lying close to floods, oh Hey, Stacie.
Hi.
Loud bar.
Yeah, I know.
Good music.
Ah, let's go some place quieter.
No, I don't want people to hear us.
Here.
I have water.
- Let's go.
Let's dance.
- Why? 'Cause it's fun.
Remember, the West Village? - Like that.
- I'm a little tired.
Okay, well, I'm dancing.
Come on, I'll give you a scoop out there.
I don't feel done Catching me Feel so good - So, you dating anyone? - No.
What about Michael from last year? We broke it off.
Yeah, I know.
He made a mistake.
How do you know? He told me.
I called him.
He said he wanted to see what you were up to.
Is this what you did with Abby? Is "what" what I did with Abby? Try to remake her life.
We're not your playthings, Laurel.
Take the moat out of your eye, then worry about me.
No.
No, I know how this works now.
You try to turn it back on me, you try to make it my problem, but it's not gonna work.
I felt the bugs in my head, Stacie.
I know what they're doing to you.
And I know there's a cure.
There.
That's Michael.
He misses you.
Just give it a chance, Stacie.
Ah.
Ow.
Listen to me.
We know what you're doing.
It's not gonna work.
Let go of my hand, Stacie.
She's gone.
Stacie's gone.
You can't get her back.
She doesn't want to come back.
I came back, Stacie.
You just have to use the right side of your brain.
This is different.
Knock the side of my head.
Go ahead.
[hollow thumping.]
There's nothing there.
Go ahead, chase us away.
But your friend will be a lobotomized idiot.
What do you want? Everything.
We want everything.
Are you taking over the government? What government? There is no government anymore.
[chuckles.]
[cackling.]
Be like little bunnies Always riding on the edges of your coat Tails, tails Don't be scared or nervous 'Cause I'm here, here, we're here about your finger Nails, nails Hey.
Hey Ow! Watch it! Clockwise around the pond.
["You Might Think" by The Cars playing.]
[through earbuds.]
: Well, you might think I'm crazy To hang around with you Maybe you think I'm lucky [sighs.]
IRA FLATOW: Does space have a sound? Thanks to the wonders of science, we can now hear the constellations of Cygnus, Lyra and Draco.
[dull humming.]
DR.
WU: We don't know what it is, Senator.
We wouldn't have discovered how the Zika virus was carried if we hadn't done the spade work.
PAKULA: We hope that satisfies your concerns, Senator.
We take taxpayer money very seriously.
It does satisfy my concerns.
And I will now entertain a motion to close debates.
- I move that we close - RED: Just one more question, Mr.
Chairman, if I may.
I'll be brief.
He knows we have the votes.
He's delaying.
Oh, let him rant.
He's got to save face.
RED: I can hear you.
And no, despite whatever vote count you think you have, I'd like to ask my question.
Let's talk about your great work at the CDC, Dr.
Pakula.
What are you working on now? We're testing the impact of 32 prospective infectious diseases.
RED: And how do you test their impact? With, uh, computer simulations or? No, no, with live testing.
I see.
"Live.
" Meaning with animals? Yes, we-we do animal testing.
On rats, or chimpanzees, or Uh, both.
Um, why? So these animals you test, uh, do they go on to live long and healthy lives? Uh, no.
Some expire.
Oh, I see.
[clicks tongue.]
Aw.
And you-you bury them someplace nice? No, we have a service who, um well, there are rendering factories.
Where the dead animals are boiled down? LUKE: Chairman, I don't think every step of the process needs to be examined.
RED: I just think some of my Democratic colleagues might be interested in the process.
How many animals are killed a month? Ella, Ella.
Look they've always had animal testing.
Yes, and at some point we have to say "no.
" Well, Red will get his way.
If you vote with Red, he'll get his way.
Come on, what do you hate more, Republicans or animal testing? IRA FLATOW: Where do they come from? Electromagnetic It's merely the sonification of light curves from the outer reaches of the Milky Way.
Was Pythagoras right? Is there a "Music of the Spheres?" I'd like to think so.
[dull humming.]
[melodic tone similar to "You Might Think" by The Cars.]
["You Might Think" by The Cars plays through laptop.]
[song stops, melodic tone resumes.]
[melodic tone stops, song resumes.]
[song stops, melodic tone resumes.]
IRA FLATOW: What you just heard is the energy arriving from the Draco constellation, over 148 light years away.
Yup, that's gerrymandering.
Look at the districts.
What does it look like? Um constellations? No.
Crop circles.
Oh, yeah.
Kind of.
No, not "kind of," "lot of.
" Yeah, well, I saw this one district, it looked like Lincoln's beard.
Then use it.
To embarrass Red.
It's local government, Laurel, it's not senate.
Yes, but they're coordinating through Red's office.
Look at these districts.
They're crazy.
Yes, and why would we stop it? I mean, look at this district, Dorchester.
The Republicans used to divide the senior citizen vote into two, right? Now they have them all in one, right? That's good for us.
It neutralizes the Republican senior vote.
And here? This puts all the college-educated together.
I mean, they're helping us, not hurting us.
And why are they doing that? [chuckles.]
I have no idea.
General stupidity? Never underestimate the stupidity of your opponent.
But let's not get in the way.
When your opponent is shooting themselves in the foot let them.
You're over-thinking it, sis.
I have the appropriations committee.
The CDC budget.
How's it going? We're losing.
Ella and Red should be at each other's throats.
It's odd when they're not.
[gavel banging.]
Are we ready to vote on the CDC budget? - Hell yes.
- ELLA: Mr.
Chairman, I just have one thing to say.
[sighs.]
Go ahead.
My colleague, Red Wheatus, wants to derail the CDC by undercutting its budget.
And I can't support that.
The CDC does good work.
Even though, as a strong animal lover, I can't agree with its methods.
Still, I want to amend the proposed bill.
The CDC should be more ambitious.
More like our friends in Finland, who aren't satisfied with just getting by, like we Americans are.
I would like to challenge the CDC into fighting a war on death.
And I move that we give the CDC an additional $3 billion - to help fight such a war.
- Ella What is she doing? Uh, closing you down.
The Republicans will never double your budget.
This country can't survive without the CDC.
Yeah, well, we're about to try.
What? There's a chance Gustav's right.
About what? [chittering.]
[Intense music.]
[Bug scratching.]
GARETH: Okay, so, let's start over.
Okay.
I'm Gareth.
I'm a chief of staff to Red Wheatus.
I'm Laurel Healy.
And I think I'm going insane.
Well, if we're being honest, why insane? Because I think bugs are eating people's brains and turning them stupid.
[Chuckles.]
Huh.
[gasps.]
Oh! Ow! Ow! No, no, no No, no, no.
[panting.]
[grunting.]
[screams.]
No, no! [screams.]
[gasps.]
[panting.]
[groaning.]
911, what's the exact location of your emergency? 857 Acker.
House or apartment? Apartment 2.
[screaming.]
- Are you all right, ma'am? - I need - I need medical assistance.
- What's the nature of your problem? Bugs crawled in my ear! I need help! [line beeps.]
Got one of those calls, Ms.
Mooser.
Good, transfer it my way.
You have bugs in your ear, ma'am? Yes! Yes.
- I need help.
Please hurry.
- We're calling for an EMT right now, ma'am.
Please stay on the line.
Don't hang up.
[grunting.]
[pounding on door.]
GUSTAV: Laurel! Get the cherry blossoms out! The bugs are in the flowers! [pounding continues.]
Laurel, wake up! It's the flowers! - Oh! - You got to get them out now! They're in.
Generique theme You need to call 911.
I called.
They're sending someone.
It's there! Hey, uh, we need someone here now.
We have an emergency.
Yes, sir, I understand.
EMTs are on the way.
- [grunts.]
- Well, how long? They're just busy with other calls at the moment.
45 minutes or so.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me! What? What did she say? No, don't worry.
We're fine.
We're fine.
Laurel: No, no, what did she? - [call waiting beeps.]
- Uh, hold on.
It's, uh, it's call waiting.
Hello? GARETH: Hello? - Who is this? - Gareth Ritter.
Who's this? Uh, Laurel doesn't have time for this right now.
- She'll call you back later.
- [Laurel screaming.]
- What's going on? - LAUREL: Oh, God! - Hey, what happened? - Uh, nothing.
We're all good here, bye.
[meowing.]
[muffled laugh.]
- LAUREL: I can feel it in my mind.
- Uh-huh.
- They're eating at my brain.
- Okay, okay.
Uh look at me.
Uh, just keep, keep breathing.
- [exhales.]
- What do you have memorized? - What? - Do you know the periodic tables? - Hydrogen, lithium, sodium, potassium.
- No.
- What are you? Seriously? - Gustav! Presidents.
Do-do presidents.
Okay, Washington, - um, Jefferson - [knocking.]
- Oh, good, the paramedics! - I got it! You keep going.
Um, Madison, Jackson It's in the cherry blossoms? Yes, but, uh, she's got bugs in her - LAUREL: Who is it?! - Rochelle.
911 is just a few minutes away.
Oh, my God, Laurel! Are you all right? Uh, she's reciting presidents.
Uh - Jackson - Do you have any bacon? - Monroe.
- Okay, here we go.
Van Buren.
I knew this.
I know this! - ROCHELLE: I know.
- There's no bacon! Why don't you have any bacon?! - Can you see anything? - No Uh, here.
What is that? Salami It's all she had.
Are you insane?! It draws out the screwworms.
- Aah, I can feel it going.
- It's okay, it's okay.
Don't close your eyes.
How many fingers? That's what I did with your dad.
And that's, that's what I did with Oscar.
I talked him through the chess moves.
Lateralization of brain function.
What about it? Left brain, right brain.
Uh, we're going about this all wrong.
You don't, you don't, you don't battle it with logic, you Stop! Stop! Stop thinking about presidents! Stop-stop thinking at all, uh We've been battling the bugs with the wrong side of the brain.
They went in the left ear, so we have to attack from the right.
- How do I stop thinking? - He's right.
Music.
[cheers.]
Right brain functions.
Non-verbal.
Um, intuition, art, music.
- Uh, feelings, movement.
- Risk taking, Passion Laurel? We need to spark your intuitive brain.
Your non-logical.
Food, alcohol where is it? [gasps.]
Oh no, wait.
No.
Stop.
Don't think about where it is I'll find it.
[loud rock music playing.]
Itsy bitsy teeny weeny, ah, ah - Bikini, education - ROCHELLE: I got it.
Take a drink.
- From the bottle? - Yeah, now, do it.
Down, down, baby Okay, get up.
Dance.
Sweet, sweet candy What? I can't Yes.
You can.
Come on, grab my arm.
Here we go.
Come on, take another drink.
By the broken glass Five dollar baggies on the ground This isn't gonna work.
Does it still hurt? Rising high above Shimmy, shimmy ko-ko bop Shimmy, shimmy rye Shimmy, shimmy ko-ko bop, shimmy, shimmy rye On this January Sunday We watch the airplanes fly away As they rise up from the airport Above the Meadowland Highway As we crash through heaven's tollbooth In our fleeting getaway car - Oh, my - Are you throwing up? - No.
They're moving.
- Good.
No, I don't think so.
We need to be more aggressive.
Uh, what else is right brain? [elephant bellows over TV.]
Until we're looking down - Into this Freedom Park - [knocking.]
[moaning over speakers.]
Hi.
Is Laurel here? Oh, he's here.
[laughing.]
: Of course.
That makes so much sense.
She's fine.
She'll call you later.
Wait, wait, wait.
Um Gareth, right? Yeah.
Why? What's wrong? Is Laurel all right? Sweet, sweet candy, mama never let you go Bugs? You have met your match.
Ice cream soda with a cherry on top No.
She needs your help.
Walking down the street I meant it, I said it, ooh, I'm gonna get it I'm cool, I'm hot, sock it to me In the stomach three more times.
Laurel has a condition where she needs a burst of dopamine.
Excuse me? Hi.
Hi.
I just came to make sure you're all right.
LAUREL: I am.
I'm Gah, I'm not supposed to think.
- You're not? - No, no.
Why not? Uh, to explain would be to think.
And I'm not supposed to think.
[chuckles.]
Okay.
Then, let's not think.
Actually, I was thinking.
And right in the middle of a good dream, like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain.
Before I go insane, I put a pillow to my head.
And spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread.
I think I love you I think I love you.
What is this karaoke night? This morning, I woke up with a feeling I didn't know how to deal with And so I just decided to myself - [chuckles.]
- I'd hide it to myself And never talk about it But didn't I go and shout it when you walked into the room I think I love you - I think I love you - You've been drinking? Oh, yeah.
I think I love you So what am I so afraid of I'm afraid that I'm not sure of A love there is no cure for - Oh, we're dancing now? - Hell yeah.
I think I love you Isn't that what life is made of Though it worries me to say That I never felt this way What are we doing here? Getting the bugs out of my head.
Sure.
I don't know what I'm up against Are you sure you want to do this? - Yes.
- Yeah? - Now.
- Now? - Yes.
- Now, like, right now.
- Uh-huh.
- I think I love you So what am I afraid of I'm afraid that I'm not sure of A love there is no cure for You hungry? Don't stop.
I think I love you Isn't that what life is made of So it worries me to say I never felt this way Have you noticed in horror movies black people die first? [moans.]
Faster.
- Faster? - Yeah.
No, there, there.
Yeah, okay.
Uh, if you want me to kiss your breasts? No! Shh! There, yeah.
That's good.
There, yeah, more! There! It's working.
Okay, good.
- Can I just get my arm? - No! Not yet.
Do you think you love me I think I love you I think I love you I think I love you I think I love you [moaning.]
I think I love you [panting.]
I think I love you [snoring.]
[gasping.]
I What's up? Huh.
[door closes.]
Laurel? You okay? They're gone.
[sighs.]
[sighs.]
[chuckles.]
Got one.
REPORTER: We're half past the hour and focusing on the CDC budget vote.
Will the senate fund this critical institution? RED: Tax-and-spend?! ELLA: Yes, we tax and spend.
That's out damn job! - You are trying to create dys - No, it's because we're going broke.
- We can't pay for everyone.
- This has nothing to do with us going broke.
We are not a country where you can give handouts Look at Finland.
We should be taxing the rich - and redistributing the wealth.
- RED: Are you serious? Have you been to Finland? - It's like an empty parking lot with snow.
- Okay, okay.
- Tell me! - AMARANT: Good, good.
Get it out here.
But we go into that committee hearing, I want a straight up vote on refinancing the CDC.
There is $438 million - in pork in that bill! - Wow.
- One-third of the CDC budget.
- LUKE: Yes, And $80 million of that pork is coming back to your state, Red.
It's why you got reelected.
You bring home the money.
So don't get all hypocritical on us.
Times are changing.
I have e-mails - God, more e-mails.
- [knocking at door.]
Gareth, bring me the One Wayer e-mails.
ELLA: E-mails, as if they prove anything! They could all be coming from one guy in his mother's basement.
[indistinct shouting.]
[phone beeps.]
Hello? Hey.
It's Rochelle.
[sighs.]
Just seeing how you're doing.
I'm good.
Yeah, I guess.
You guess? If you have any hesitations, come in for a CAT scan.
No, no, I'm good.
No side effects.
In fact, I was wondering if the same thing might work on my friend Stacie.
Using the right brain? It's worth a try.
- How would you do it? - I don't know.
I'm working on that.
Did you examine the bug? We are doing that now.
Good.
Let's get together with what we found out.
Okay? Okay.
Oh, hey, um did you talk to Gareth afterwards? No.
Not yet.
Why? Did he see the - the bugs? - I don't know.
I can think of a dozen reasons why I'll never hear from him again.
Ever.
[chuckles.]
Call him.
People can be understanding.
Not after last night.
- Okay, I'll talk to you.
- Okay.
Hey.
How are you doing? It's Laurel.
Good.
How are you? Good.
I was wondering if we could meet up for drinks tonight.
I'm okay, Laurel, you don't have to worry about me.
I'm not angry at you.
No, no, it's not that.
It's, um, I have a scoop.
- For Roll Call.
- You do? What? I can't say over the phone.
I wanted to slip it to a friend.
Okay.
What time? It still hasn't moved.
It's like it's waiting for us.
What are you doing? Finding out its chemical composition.
Try the front appendage.
You have a spectrometer? Yep.
Rochelle What? GUSTAV: Look.
Bugs don't do that.
Do they? I've never seen it.
- Do you think these bugs might be from - Don't say it.
- What? - I don't know, but don't say it.
- Outer I'm just - Don't.
Shh! [Tension building.]
[quick knock.]
LUKE: Ah.
Here she is.
Here's who you want to see.
My sister.
Actually, Luke, I was just heading out.
No, because here's a constituent who needs your help.
Mr.
Brewster BREWSTER: Why can't you help me? I voted for you, not her.
Hi, Mr.
Brewster.
So good to see you again.
How may I help you? I have to ride three buses just to vote.
And if you lose your transfer, they make you pay again.
This is about your polling place? Yes.
What do you think I'm talking about? It used to be right across the street at the fire station.
Now I have to go 40 minutes away.
Have you discussed this with your local representative? No, my census taker.
She works in the state house now.
She said it all came down from the Maryland senator.
- You guys are my Maryland senator.
- Yes, but we Did she possibly mean Red Wheatus? I don't know.
There's too many of you people to figure out which is which.
Just don't give me the runaround, okay? I gotta take two buses now to go home.
You know that? One bus to the museum, three buses to vote! May I help you? Um, Laurel Healy for Gareth Ritter.
- Please.
- And what is this regarding? A constituent I have to help.
Actually, no.
Just just tell him I'm here.
No, wait.
Yes, it is work-related.
Would you take a seat, please? Actually, just don't say that.
Just say that I'm here and This is not kale.
I want kale! Sorry, Senator.
I know you.
Healy, right? Yes, Senator.
Come on in here.
I want to talk to you.
Well, come on.
So, you're the bleeding heart Healy, huh? "Bleeding heart"? Yeah.
The emotional one.
The one who cares about [fake sobs.]
poor veterans and their little cute daughters.
"Why is my daddy sick?" That's you, right? Not your brother.
I don't know.
I think it's both of us.
Why don't you go back to L.
A.
? Excuse me? Well, you don't like it here.
These aren't your people.
And things are gonna get bad very quickly.
Why do you care? Because you're in my way.
[chuckles.]
I work in constituent casework, Senator.
That's hardly in your way.
Well, here's the thing, Lana - Laurel.
- You've been slinking around - my chief of staff - Really? - Distracting him.
- He tell you that? No, no.
He doesn't know what you're about.
I do.
And what am I about? Unpredictability.
I know how your brother will act.
Strategists can read other strategists.
But you One day, you're emotional; the next, you're strategic; the next, you're having your woman time.
My "woman time"? Go back to L.
A.
You don't drink anymore, do you, Senator? Oh, I drink my kale-celery smoothies.
You should try 'em.
No alcohol? My body's a temple.
Why do you drink? 'Cause I like it.
It's fun.
There are other ways to have fun.
Joining other like-minded people in completing a mission Sounds like a blast.
What are these maps about? Uh, office work product.
It's not very smart of you to let me see them.
It won't matter.
You're gonna lose.
Then why do you care if I'm in the way? [chuckles.]
You are a sly one.
I'm gonna keep an eye on you.
[knocking at door.]
- Senator, the - Ah, Gareth, buddy, how are you? - I think you know Lana.
Yeah.
- Laurel.
She's here wanting to talk about my kale-celery smoothie intake.
[chuckles.]
Well I'll let you two talk.
And we'll talk again.
So.
Um So I'm not here about last night.
I'm here about gerrymandering.
Your office is coordinating gerrymandering with the Maryland State House.
One of our constituents complained.
Okay Let's back up.
[exhales.]
I think we should talk about last night.
[birds singing.]
I've had good nights, I've had bad nights, but I've never had Yes, it was odd.
I don't know what it was.
- [sighs.]
What did you see? - What did I What do you mean? When I fell unconscious, what did you see? I don't know what you're after.
I held you.
And then I got dressed.
So you didn't see anything near my ears? Your ears? No.
Okay, look.
I have these migraines, and I needed human contact.
And if I wasn't there? - But you were there.
- Yeah, but When you get these migraines, what do you do? Are you asking if I sleep around? No.
No, I just [exhales.]
I want to feel like I wasn't being used last night.
- It was great.
- It wasn't great.
It was weird.
- Okay, yes.
It was weird.
- [laughs.]
What do you want? For things to be normal.
I want to talk and joke and take you out to dinner.
And pay.
And then kiss you on your stoop one night and feel awkward about calling you the next day.
And then I talk to my friends and they say not to call because I'll come across too vulnerable, but of course, I call anyway.
And then we're, I don't know, happy and a little awkward on the phone together.
Okay.
Let's do that.
Why can't we do that? Because you were yelling at me to go faster while you ate chocolate and salami.
I just need some time to think.
Makes sense.
Oh, um what did you need when you came by the office? I need your list of gerrymander districts.
[quiet chuckle.]
We have a bug.
You do? How did you get it? GUSTAV: That That would take some explaining.
We did a spectrographic test.
It's 90% potassium chloride.
That could explain the head explosions.
Potassium chloride is combustible.
What's the other ten percent? Unknown.
"Unknown"? How could it be unknown? There are some other oddities here.
It moves.
Even after you cut it up.
Do you have the bug here? Yes.
We need your help.
We don't know what we're dealing with here.
And we don't have the equipment.
The CDC does.
GUSTAV: We're trusting you with this.
Someone risked their life to get this bug.
Gustav, I'm on your side.
[bangs gavel.]
There are 38 proposed amendments to the CDC budget.
We'll address them one at a time.
Senators will be limited to five minutes in discussing markups.
Uh, first, the proposed $48 million earmark for disease control maintenance in New York.
- I move to approve.
- I second.
Any discussion? None? All right, then.
If there's no discussion, we'll move to a vote RED: Actually, Senator, uh, if you don't mind.
But do you have an objection, Red? Well, I'll call it more of a hesitation.
I'm reading this comic book I think the young people call it, uh, a graphic novel.
It's called, uh, Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic.
Uh, a constituent gave it to me.
I thought it was funny.
[chuckles.]
But then, uh, then I realized who put it out.
It's our very own Centers for Disease Control.
The real one; the one we're discussing right now.
They put out a comic book about how to repel a zombie attack.
LUKE: This was merely a way to get people who usually don't care about disease to read about it.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Chairman.
I thought I had five minutes.
You do.
Continue.
Well, my question, uh, isn't about the cost of this.
I'm sure it's negligible.
My question is this.
Is the CDC devoting practical research time and money to a zombie apocalypse? Okay, that's crazy.
Then why are they investigating bugs that eat human brains? They're not.
Well, a constituent told me that a CDC researcher goes by the name of Dexter Wu or-or Wah Dr.
Wu? Is investigating bugs that take on zombie-like characteristics.
This is what I say.
We are about to approve a $1.
3 billon budget for the CDC.
We owe it to the taxpayers to make sure this money isn't spent on more zombie comic books and zombie bug research.
[applause.]
You're moving that we delay approval of the CDC budget? Yes, until such time as the CDC director can assure us that the people's money isn't being misspent.
[Intense music.]
Are you studying zombie bugs? Are you researching bugs that eat human brains? Well, I'm doing research into a bug that, yes, like a screwworm eats human flesh.
Stop.
But, sir Our budget is being held up by this.
This was given to me by a very trustworthy I don't care! [Cheerful music.]
[Mumbling.]
: 1200 Ridge Place Southeast to 17th Street Southeast.
8600 Good Hope to 25th Street.
[muttering.]
So, everybody thinks you're crazy.
And I'm here to calm their fears.
I'm just doing my job.
And what job is that? Red Wheatus is acting as a clearing house to gerrymandering.
Well, he's a senator.
And gerrymandering only affects house races.
He's working for a Republican majority in both houses.
So you want to show how ludicrously drawn the precincts are, embarrass Senator Wheatus into backing off? Yes.
Okay.
So here's some words of wisdom.
Politicians don't embarrass easily.
- You do.
- Mm-mm, I do not.
Senior year, Mom picking you up from school.
- Okay, thank you.
- And then that time your pants fell down around your knees that was good.
Have fun.
I'm going.
You know, the more ludicrous the district, the better.
[door closes.]
Allegany County.
So, you see it, too? Yeah.
Crop circles.
- Come on, you can't be going crazy.
- No, I'm just saying what does it mean? Nothing.
What could it mean? You're saying someone is gerrymandering districts into crop circles.
That doesn't make any sense.
Because these bugs are not of this world.
Oh, my God, you have been wanting to say that for weeks.
- GUSTAV: How else do you explain all ? - ROCHELLE: A million reasons! Demographics.
I-I don't know.
But why would creatures from another world be making crop circles out of voting districts? It makes no sense.
Look.
The circles they're all pointing towards something.
Capitol Hill they're taking over the government.
They're coming for us.
Okay, let's try to maintain, please.
LAUREL: What did you find out about that bug? - The one that you caught? - Yeah, Rochelle.
What did we find out about it? That has nothing to do with this.
- What? - We gave it to Wu at the CDC for a more "thorough examination," and his boss took it away from him.
- Why? - The budget.
Red Wheatus.
ROCHELLE: They argued the CDC was being frivolous with their budget, looking into bugs.
So everything was put into storage.
- Oh, God.
- GUSTAV: Don't you see? We're in a game of chess with a higher intelligence.
That wouldn't be hard.
When we make a move, they make a counter move.
Where are you going? To find out about the CDC.
We take the fight to Red.
He wants to stop the government from working.
The CDC is just the beginning.
LUKE: Good, so we're all on the same page.
We hold together.
Now Amarant's on our side, so are two other moderate Republicans.
You're gonna trust the Republicans? Ella, stop with the propaganda.
It's just us here Excuse me.
[chuckles.]
Propaganda.
You can get the CDC back up and running? Yeah, this time we have the votes.
I just can't be seen going on about bugs, okay? Mm-hmm.
Hi.
[paper crumpling.]
Hey.
What was that? Nothing.
Just a note I was leaving.
Well, you could give it to me.
Yeah.
I do.
Good.
Look, I don't want things to I don't want things to be awkward.
And I heard my boss had a talk with you about us.
Yes.
I told him not to again.
I just don't like when work impacts [chuckles.]
life.
So, tonight? "Tonight"? Drinks? Oh, yes.
Um no.
Unfortunately, I have to meet a friend.
How about tomorrow night? Mm-hmm.
[chuckles.]
Gareth? Thank you.
We can make this normal again.
[quietly.]
: Yeah.
Lying close to floods, oh Hey, Stacie.
Hi.
Loud bar.
Yeah, I know.
Good music.
Ah, let's go some place quieter.
No, I don't want people to hear us.
Here.
I have water.
- Let's go.
Let's dance.
- Why? 'Cause it's fun.
Remember, the West Village? - Like that.
- I'm a little tired.
Okay, well, I'm dancing.
Come on, I'll give you a scoop out there.
I don't feel done Catching me Feel so good - So, you dating anyone? - No.
What about Michael from last year? We broke it off.
Yeah, I know.
He made a mistake.
How do you know? He told me.
I called him.
He said he wanted to see what you were up to.
Is this what you did with Abby? Is "what" what I did with Abby? Try to remake her life.
We're not your playthings, Laurel.
Take the moat out of your eye, then worry about me.
No.
No, I know how this works now.
You try to turn it back on me, you try to make it my problem, but it's not gonna work.
I felt the bugs in my head, Stacie.
I know what they're doing to you.
And I know there's a cure.
There.
That's Michael.
He misses you.
Just give it a chance, Stacie.
Ah.
Ow.
Listen to me.
We know what you're doing.
It's not gonna work.
Let go of my hand, Stacie.
She's gone.
Stacie's gone.
You can't get her back.
She doesn't want to come back.
I came back, Stacie.
You just have to use the right side of your brain.
This is different.
Knock the side of my head.
Go ahead.
[hollow thumping.]
There's nothing there.
Go ahead, chase us away.
But your friend will be a lobotomized idiot.
What do you want? Everything.
We want everything.
Are you taking over the government? What government? There is no government anymore.
[chuckles.]
[cackling.]
Be like little bunnies Always riding on the edges of your coat Tails, tails Don't be scared or nervous 'Cause I'm here, here, we're here about your finger Nails, nails Hey.
Hey Ow! Watch it! Clockwise around the pond.
["You Might Think" by The Cars playing.]
[through earbuds.]
: Well, you might think I'm crazy To hang around with you Maybe you think I'm lucky [sighs.]
IRA FLATOW: Does space have a sound? Thanks to the wonders of science, we can now hear the constellations of Cygnus, Lyra and Draco.
[dull humming.]
DR.
WU: We don't know what it is, Senator.
We wouldn't have discovered how the Zika virus was carried if we hadn't done the spade work.
PAKULA: We hope that satisfies your concerns, Senator.
We take taxpayer money very seriously.
It does satisfy my concerns.
And I will now entertain a motion to close debates.
- I move that we close - RED: Just one more question, Mr.
Chairman, if I may.
I'll be brief.
He knows we have the votes.
He's delaying.
Oh, let him rant.
He's got to save face.
RED: I can hear you.
And no, despite whatever vote count you think you have, I'd like to ask my question.
Let's talk about your great work at the CDC, Dr.
Pakula.
What are you working on now? We're testing the impact of 32 prospective infectious diseases.
RED: And how do you test their impact? With, uh, computer simulations or? No, no, with live testing.
I see.
"Live.
" Meaning with animals? Yes, we-we do animal testing.
On rats, or chimpanzees, or Uh, both.
Um, why? So these animals you test, uh, do they go on to live long and healthy lives? Uh, no.
Some expire.
Oh, I see.
[clicks tongue.]
Aw.
And you-you bury them someplace nice? No, we have a service who, um well, there are rendering factories.
Where the dead animals are boiled down? LUKE: Chairman, I don't think every step of the process needs to be examined.
RED: I just think some of my Democratic colleagues might be interested in the process.
How many animals are killed a month? Ella, Ella.
Look they've always had animal testing.
Yes, and at some point we have to say "no.
" Well, Red will get his way.
If you vote with Red, he'll get his way.
Come on, what do you hate more, Republicans or animal testing? IRA FLATOW: Where do they come from? Electromagnetic It's merely the sonification of light curves from the outer reaches of the Milky Way.
Was Pythagoras right? Is there a "Music of the Spheres?" I'd like to think so.
[dull humming.]
[melodic tone similar to "You Might Think" by The Cars.]
["You Might Think" by The Cars plays through laptop.]
[song stops, melodic tone resumes.]
[melodic tone stops, song resumes.]
[song stops, melodic tone resumes.]
IRA FLATOW: What you just heard is the energy arriving from the Draco constellation, over 148 light years away.
Yup, that's gerrymandering.
Look at the districts.
What does it look like? Um constellations? No.
Crop circles.
Oh, yeah.
Kind of.
No, not "kind of," "lot of.
" Yeah, well, I saw this one district, it looked like Lincoln's beard.
Then use it.
To embarrass Red.
It's local government, Laurel, it's not senate.
Yes, but they're coordinating through Red's office.
Look at these districts.
They're crazy.
Yes, and why would we stop it? I mean, look at this district, Dorchester.
The Republicans used to divide the senior citizen vote into two, right? Now they have them all in one, right? That's good for us.
It neutralizes the Republican senior vote.
And here? This puts all the college-educated together.
I mean, they're helping us, not hurting us.
And why are they doing that? [chuckles.]
I have no idea.
General stupidity? Never underestimate the stupidity of your opponent.
But let's not get in the way.
When your opponent is shooting themselves in the foot let them.
You're over-thinking it, sis.
I have the appropriations committee.
The CDC budget.
How's it going? We're losing.
Ella and Red should be at each other's throats.
It's odd when they're not.
[gavel banging.]
Are we ready to vote on the CDC budget? - Hell yes.
- ELLA: Mr.
Chairman, I just have one thing to say.
[sighs.]
Go ahead.
My colleague, Red Wheatus, wants to derail the CDC by undercutting its budget.
And I can't support that.
The CDC does good work.
Even though, as a strong animal lover, I can't agree with its methods.
Still, I want to amend the proposed bill.
The CDC should be more ambitious.
More like our friends in Finland, who aren't satisfied with just getting by, like we Americans are.
I would like to challenge the CDC into fighting a war on death.
And I move that we give the CDC an additional $3 billion - to help fight such a war.
- Ella What is she doing? Uh, closing you down.
The Republicans will never double your budget.
This country can't survive without the CDC.
Yeah, well, we're about to try.
What? There's a chance Gustav's right.
About what? [chittering.]
[Intense music.]
[Bug scratching.]
GARETH: Okay, so, let's start over.
Okay.
I'm Gareth.
I'm a chief of staff to Red Wheatus.
I'm Laurel Healy.
And I think I'm going insane.
Well, if we're being honest, why insane? Because I think bugs are eating people's brains and turning them stupid.
[Chuckles.]
Huh.