Breadwinners (2014) s01e06 Episode Script

2 [Ducks quack.]
Both: buckle up, duckies 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread flying quazy 'cause we can quazy [Ducks quack.]
Quazy [Ducks quack.]
Quazy 'cause we can - Swaysway! - Buhdeuce! - Do a barrel roll, man! Both: Sweet! Buckle up, duckies, 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread flying quazy 'cause we can Booty kick it, party punch it shake your feathers, make your pants dance - Look out, we're gonna crash-land! [Funk music.]
[Organ music.]
- And do you, swaysway, take this duck to be your lawfully webbed wife? - You know it, bro.
- Then you may now kiss the bride.
- [Quacks.]
- MmMm - Swaysway.
Pondgea to swaysway.
- [Gasps.]
What? - You've been smooching up that picture of Jenny quackles all day.
What gives? - One day, buhdeuce, when you're an older bap, you too will bond beaks with the girl of your dreams.
Or a photo of her.
- No way.
That's gross.
What's so special about her, anyway? - [Sighs.]
Everything, man.
Everything.
I've never met a girl like Jenny Jenny quackles she she makes my heart crackle oh, Jenny, Jenny, she's my girl she makes everything sweet like a cinnamon swirl Jenny, Jenny Jenny quackles quack, quack, quackles Jenny, Jenny Jenny quackles! [Rumbling.]
- Look out! Both: Whoa.
Whoa! - Tickle my tail, yo! What type of bread is this? - I don't know.
Let me taste it.
- Good idea, baperoni.
Mystery loaf comin' at ya.
- Whoa, slow down, there, duckos.
Both: The bread maker.
- Greetings, amigos.
What you've got there is one of nature's most powerful loaves.
The love loaf.
[Heartbeat.]
- You sure this isn't butt loaf? - Yeah, it totally looks like my butt.
[Heartbeat.]
- Yes, I'm sure.
Now, then, anyone who eats the love loaf will fall in love with the first person they see.
Both: No way! - But be careful.
The last time this loaf was unleashed, it wasn't pretty.
[Distant screaming.]
- I love you, stack of newspapers! - I love you, giant monster who destroyed my city.
- And I love you, explosive hydrogen-filled zeppelin! - Nuh-uh, no way, no diggity-doo! Love is just too dangerous.
I'm getting rid of this thing.
Hoo-wah! - Dude, don't be riduckulous.
If I get Jenny quackles to eat this she'll fall in love with me.
We'll get married, and have little baby ducklings, and live happily quackily ever after.
[Chuckles.]
That's not weird at all, right? - Little bit.
But look, amigo, love is not something you want to rush into.
- Don't worry.
I won't rush anything.
Now let's find Jenny quackles right now as fast as we can this second.
- Yip, yip.
- Rye, oh, rye.
[Upbeat electronic music.]
[Crashes.]
- Hi.
Mrs.
quackles, I presume? I'm swaysway, and this is buhdeuce.
- [Quacks.]
- You don't know me.
But I'm the duck who's gonna marry your daughter one day.
Can I call you mom? - [Quacks.]
- Got it.
Mrs.
quackles.
Anywho, is Jenny here? - [Quacks.]
- What? She's at summer camp? Oh! Pluck my feathers.
- [Quacks.]
- No, no, I'm not getting fresh with you.
Future mother-duck-in-law.
Eh? Whoa, whoa, whoa [Both grunting.]
[Gasps.]
Deucer, no! Don't eat that bread.
- [Chomps.]
- [Screams.]
Keep your eyes shut, or you'll fall in love with the next person you see.
- Oh, it's too tight! I can't feel my face! I can't-- oh! [Grunts.]
Hubba hubba.
I am one good-lookin' duck! - Oh, no.
You've fallen in love with yourself! - You know, I deserve a treat.
- No, ah, ah, ah.
The rest of that is for Jenny.
- Whoa! - Buckle up, ducky, 'cause we're going to summer camp! [Engine revs.]
Ahh.
Here we are.
Camp quackawanna.
Something tells me it's girls only.
[Crow cawing.]
- Before we go in, I want to take a moment to give you a small gift.
- Really? Wow, that's so thoughtful.
I-- - I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to me.
There you go, me.
[Gasps.]
Chocolates with my face on them? Aww.
Love you.
- You.
- [Chomps.]
- Okay, buhdeuce.
This camp is girls only.
So we'll give 'em girls only! Both: L-l-l-l-level up! Girlie ducks! [Camera shutters clicking.]
- Hi, girls.
Nice cabins.
Is that real wood? - Totes love your outfit.
So campy.
- [Gasps.]
There she is.
Jenny quackles.
[Gentle music.]
- What're you waiting for, bap? Go talk to her.
- I can't, man.
I'm too nervous.
She's just so pretty.
- Trust me, I know how to handle pretty.
[Whistles.]
Yo, quackles! - Wait! - [Quacks.]
- Hey, my friend has a crush on you.
- Aah! Ah.
[Chuckles.]
What he means is his friend has a crust for you.
Here, eat it.
[Whistle blows.]
- Free time is over! - Campfire sing-along starts in ten! - Move it or bruise it! - [Whistling.]
- Hold up, you two! I don't think we've met.
- Oh, uh I'm sway-a-rella.
And this is buh-du-cheena.
We're, like, new here.
- There's something fishy about you duckies.
- Bleh.
There's something fishy about your breath.
- What was that? - What was what? Nothing.
That's what.
- Oh, 'scuse me.
Sorry.
[All quacking.]
- Ow! Stop with the pecking! - So, Jenny.
I, uh-- I see you're roasting bread.
- [Quacks.]
- Get out.
I love bread too.
And speaking of love and bread That's right.
Open wide.
- What this campfire needs is a song! Sung in the key of me.
Pretty, pretty, I'm so pretty look at me, so, so pretty pretty, pretty, I'm so pretty even my farts are so, so pretty [Flatulence.]
All: Aah! - There's only one animal species that can make a smell that foul! Boys! - Oh! - Looks like we got two of them! - Uh, chocolate? - This camp is for girls only.
No boys allowed! - Who you callin' a boy? I'm a man! Look! A chest hair.
Ow! Chihuahua.
- Time for you duckies to fly away.
- Please, not the face.
It's a national treas-- both: Whoa! - [Grunts.]
Are you okay? - Yeah, just a little-- - I was talking to me again.
So we going home now or what? I gotta get my beauty sleep.
- No, buhdeuce.
I will not rest a feather until I get Jenny quackles to eat this love loaf, and thus win her love fair and square.
- Now, that's true love.
Something me and myself can relate to.
[Smooching.]
- Hmm.
According to this camp roster, Jenny's staying in cabin six.
[Gasps.]
This is it.
- Yeah, boy! - Jenny.
[All snoring.]
Jenny, you up in here, girl? Jenny.
- [Snorting.]
- That must be her.
She has the cutest snore.
Jenny Jenny quackles shh.
Girl you make my heart crackle oh, Jenny, Jenny, I love you so when I think about you it's like I turn to dough Jenny, Jenny, take one bite then look me in the eyes and fall in love at first sight Jenny, Jenny, please wake up! - Wrong cabin, Romeo! [Both scream.]
- No boys allowed! - No snacks either! - Ever wonder what happens to snacks confiscated at camp? - We eat 'em! [Laughs.]
- Oh, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! - Pucker up, duckies! Here comes the sugar! [Both scream.]
- Why, hello, there, big man.
- Aren't you a fine, feathered fellow? - Jenny quackles! Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck ball! The bread maker was right.
Love loaf is bad news.
Let's skeduckle.
All: Get back here, you lovely quackers! [Engine revs.]
- [Sighs.]
Oh, Jenny quackles.
One day you'll be mine.
- At least we still have each other.
- Talking to yourself again, aren't you? - Yip, yip.
[Ominous music.]
- Yo, what day is it? Both: Beach day! Beach! Beach! Ball! Beach! Beach! Chair! Beach! Beach! Towel! Beach! Beach! - Refrigerator! - Refrigerator? - Hoo-ah! I couldn't find a cooler.
[Engine revs.]
[Metal detector beeping.]
- Oh, yeah! The beach! Time for a day of fun and relaxation.
- Yeah! [Grunts.]
Relaxation.
[All screaming.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa - [Panting.]
Waah! - Huh.
The beach sure seems a lot screamier than usual.
Ah, well.
It's probably nothing.
Here we go, yo.
The perfect spot to park our feathered fannies.
So, what do you want to do first on our big beach day? Get a tan, build a sand castle, dig a deep hole for no apparent reason? - I wanna go swimming! - And swimming we shall go.
- Let's get wet.
Both: Yay! - [Roars.]
[Both screaming.]
- Hey, come back! I'm hungry! - Aw, bubble nuggets.
A pond monster.
No wonder everybody left! - That's true.
But look on the bright side, my ducky duck.
This means we get the whole beach to ourselves.
- What about him? [Boat horn blows.]
- [Chomping.]
[Gulps.]
Hi! - Don't worry, bap.
Pond monsters can't leave the water.
[Sizzles.]
- Oh! Ow! Hot, hot, hot, hot.
- So if we just stay on the beach, we can have as much fun as we want.
- Stay on the beach.
Got it.
That should be easy enough.
- [Falsetto.]
Help! I'm drowning! Send the small, round, tasty one.
- Hang on! I'll run into the water and save you! - Deucer! It's a trap! An incredibly dumb trap, I might add.
Dude, can you at least try not to get eaten? Here, let's play catch.
- Okay, sway.
Go long! Real long! - [Panting.]
- Hoo-ah! I got it, I got it! - Hey, friend.
Let me get that for you.
- Hey.
You're not trying to trick me, are you? - Oh, me? No.
I just love eating-- I mean meeting new friends.
- Wow.
Really? That's so nice.
- [Laughs.]
- [Panting.]
I'm open! Really open! Buhdeuce? No! Buhdeuce! [Panting.]
Ow! [Pail clanging.]
- [Slurps.]
I was hoping you would join me for lunch.
[Laughs evilly.]
- Sure.
What's on the menu? - Here's a hint: You.
[Laughs.]
- Can I have another hint? - [Panting.]
Hang on, buhdeuce! I'm coming! Ow, chihuahua! [Shell and pail clattering.]
- Whoa.
I'm lunch! You're gonna eat me! [Chuckles.]
He's gonna eat-- [screams.]
- [Panting.]
[Coughs.]
- Waah! - No one eats my best bap.
Party punch! - [Groans.]
Ow! That was my favorite eye! - There we go.
That should keep you from going in the water.
- [Chuckles.]
I'm a mermaid.
- Oh, man.
Keeping you alive is a full-time job.
I'm exhausted.
[Yawns.]
Think I'll just shut my eyes for a few.
[Gasps.]
Buhdeuce.
Where are you? Deuce? Deuski? Deuce-a-rama? - [Quacks.]
- [Laughs.]
- You.
Where's buhdeuce? - Probably in my third stomach by now.
That's right, ducky.
I ate your best bap.
[Laughs.]
- You puke him up right now, you-- you monster! - Ooh, why don't you come here and make me, duck boy? - [Growling.]
Quack! Quackity, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack! [Grunting.]
[Panting.]
- Uh, swaysway? What ya doin'? - I thought he ate you.
- Nah.
I just went to get us some ice creams.
- Ice creams? Here I thought you were gonna trick buhdeuce, and you go tricking me.
Hmm.
- I'm a monster.
It's what I do.
- [Gulps.]
- Hey, tentacle turds! Why don't you pick on somebody my size? Hoo-ah! Quack! Quackity, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack! Yah! Waah! - Looks like it's a two-for-one lunch special.
[Laughs.]
- Well, bap, I guess this is it.
- Yeah.
This one's yours, by the way.
- Thanks.
- [Roars.]
[Both screaming.]
[Grunting.]
[Screaming.]
[Grunting.]
[Screaming.]
[Both grunt.]
[Both scream.]
[Screaming.]
- Hoo-ah! Ooh! Oh, my bap! We're trapped inside the belly of the beast with no hope for survival! No way of getting out.
And no toilet paper! - No.
No, no, no.
This can't be happening.
Wait, maybe we're both just having a nightmare.
- We'd better wake each other up.
- Wake - Up! - Wake - Up! - Wake - Up! - Wake Both: Up! - Bap, we're not having a nightmare.
We're living one! We're gonna be stuck down here forever! - Oh, no.
We are not gonna give up.
We are breadwinners.
And we're gonna climb right on up outta here! - But it's like a million feets high.
And we don't even have a stupid ladder.
- Or don't we? - No, we don't.
- Or don't we? Yeah? - No, we do not have a ladder.
- Dude, we can just build one from all the driftwood down here.
- Oh Wait, what? - [Humming.]
Going fishing.
- [Panting.]
Aah! - Come to papa.
[Reel clicking.]
- Help! [Shorts rip.]
My swim pants! - [Sniffs.]
[Chomps, gulps.]
- After you, monsieur Von deuce.
[Grunting.]
Come on, sway.
Push! - [Gasps.]
I'm alive! - Oh! Caught a big one.
[Chomping, gulps.]
- I did it! I made it through! - What's up, my ducky? [Rumbling.]
- Oh, boy.
[Both screaming.]
- Well, that worked not at all.
- This driftwood is good for nothin'! - That's not true.
I used it to build a coffin, since we're goners and all.
- Deucer! - Oh, sorry.
Did you want one too? I thought we'd just share.
- We can't give up.
If we don't get outta here, who's gonna deliver bread to all the hungry beaks of the world? - I don't know.
Some other breadwinners? - Oh.
Like them? We're the last of our kind, buhdeuce.
Without us, bread will not be getting up into any beaks.
- No bread up in no beaks no more? Aw, bubble nuggets! [Echoes.]
[Rumbling.]
- Cut it out down there and get digested already.
[Pounding.]
- Wah! - Whoa.
You totally upset the monster's stomach.
- Good! I hope you get a stomachache, you lousy crumbag! - Oh, he's gonna get a stomachache, all right.
'Cause we're gonna rock his guts out.
Both: L-l-l-l-level up! Rocker ducks! - Hello, nasty stomach! Are you ready to rock? Waah! Yeah! [Playing loud rock music.]
- Aw, I hate rock music.
- Keep shredding! - I am shredding! - Then shred harder! Both: Shred! Shred! Shred! Shred! Shred! - I'm gonna rock you hard, gonna rock you good gonna rock your guts so hard you puke! Thank you! - And good night! - [Groans.]
The nerve of these crumb munchers.
[Vomits.]
Both: Whee! [Grunting.]
- I'm never going to the beach again! - That was awesome! - Yeah! Pretty sweet beach day.
Except for the part where we almost didn't make it out alive.
- How about an encore? - Yip, yip.
- Hello, pondgea! Are you ready to rock? - No.
- Whoo! - r-r-r-r-rocket van delivering bread in a rocket van my name is swaysway and this buhdeuce - yip, yip.
- Yeah.
Duck party! Get Jenny quackles in here I'm a duck, he's a duck quack quack wiki-quack quack a duck [scatting.]
All: rocket van