Britannia High (2008) s01e06 Episode Script
Miss Independent
You're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.
You're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.
How kind your Next.
Why bother to look? We all know who's gonna get Snow White.
Hey! OK.
Snow White.
Written and directed by Jez Tyler.
- Come on.
- ?? And the brooding, sexy Prince Charming goes to .
.
Danny Miller.
Come on.
And? And the part of Miss White goes to I knew it.
Just kidding.
You got it.
Yes! Wicked Queen? Oh, that'll be a stretch for you Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Time for Lauren to take a fall.
This could be the start of something I can feel my heart, it's jumping Want to walk, I can't stop running Oh, I can't stop running It's good to be a part of something What's the point, it's always nothing This could be the start of something Britannia High S01 EP06 Bathroom's free.
Finally.
Excuse me.
Always one step ahead.
You wouldn't be hiding something, would you? Stealth delivery for Lauren.
Three month anniversary.
I'm sure she'll love it.
Whatever it is.
- Where is she? - Shower.
Perfect.
Saw you bagged the Wicked Queen.
Very coolio.
Very un-coolio.
Who's a good boyfriend? I'm a good boyfriend.
Yes, I am.
I'll see you at school.
Wait up.
Bye.
Bathroom's free.
Claudine! OK.
I heard.
Question.
Why didn't I get Snow White? we just went in a different direction.
What does that even mean? OK.
It means that no-one would believe you as Snow White.
Wicked Queen.
- What? - What? - What? - OK.
Babe, I don't do the whole 'pretend- you-forgot-then-surprise-later'.
Look.
No.
Seriously.
What? Danny, I know you know what.
I cannot believe you've forgotten our anniversary.
I did not.
What do you think that flower was for this morning? Welcome back from the shower.
- What flower? - The one I left on your bed.
The card.
You and me forever.
OK, guys.
First read through of Snow White.
Written by Jez Tyler.
Me.
And directed by a really talented guy.
That would be me.
choreography by the one and only.
- That's really lovely.
- BB So you'd better not be lying.
Guys, director talking.
A red rose.
Your favourite.
Pink roses are my favourite.
I was half right, though.
OK, guys.
Let's make every moment count.
Act 1 Scene 1.
Queen's bedroom.
It's snowing outside.
I get that you are off the menu.
And yeah, it makes me a little sad.
But it's fine, it's Oh! Cheese factor 50, Claudine.
Pull back, Claudine.
I get that you are off the menu.
And yeah, it makes me a little sad.
But it's fine.
It's just the way it is.
And I'm OK with that.
You OK, man? Yeah.
Good.
I mean, I just noticed you've been taking a lot on.
With the play and stuff.
Just making the most of things, you know? Life's too short.
You get me? Hey, our Wicked Queen.
Don't strain yourself trying to think of something witty.
I've heard them all.
- Do you want this? - No, I don't do balls.
Well, I got places to be.
Later.
- I'll see you.
- See you later.
You know that flower I got Lauren? It disappeared.
Thanks for the heads-up.
I'll lock away my geraniums.
I just thought maybe you'd seen it.
Oh.
I took it.
Is that what you think? Well, no.
I just thought maybe you'd I know what you thought.
Look, maybe I might have been a bit jealous of Lauren.
OK, I was.
But, what I'm trying to say is .
.
I get that you're off the menu.
And .
.
yeah, it makes me a little sad.
But it's fine.
It's just the way it is and I'm OK with that.
I suppose I'm just not that into you any more.
We can still be friends, yeah? Of course.
How do you find time to go shopping? There's always time for shopping.
I hate doing scenery.
It's not fair.
I wanted to be Dopey.
Did you hear about Lauren and Danny in rehearsals? What's up? Word is - they are in T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
Trouble.
- No! - Get this.
Some girl was talking hunting strategies in the loo.
Sights set on Danny.
I haven't even got to the good bit yet! This is SO cool.
I can't believe it.
Lola.
Point.
Get to it.
She "saw" a ghost.
- What are you talking about? - OK.
Not everyone can.
You have to be really receptive.
My nan can do it.
So can Mum.
OK.
Get this.
My mum always knew what I wanted for tea.
Really? I see stuff others can't.
It's a gift.
Yeah.
OK.
Maybe it was some kind of optical illusion or peripheral vision thing.
With long hair and a long dress? Hel-lo, does anyone see a performing arts school anywhere? Perhaps it was someone in costume.
Right before the apparition appeared the temperature started to drop.
- Argh! - Did you see it? No.
I just want you to shut up.
Apparently, there's trouble in Lauren and Danny Town.
- No kidding? - Yeah.
We heard someone is after Danny.
Lauren's giving him a hard time about something.
I really hope it's nothing.
If this was a movie, this is how we'd meet for the first time.
I don't do romantic comedies.
Thanks.
You saw Edna.
I totally heard.
- Mashed or fried? - Who's Edna? No carbs.
Edna Blake.
She was a student 40 years ago.
Spike dumped her and she died of a broken heart.
Spike was her roguish boyfriend.
When she died, her spirit was trapped in the school.
Caretaker told me.
If she looks at you, she'll haunt you forever.
She looked right at me.
And you'll never find love.
Ever.
I'm so totally cursed.
For the brazillianth time, I put it on your bed.
It's OK if you forgot.
I didn't.
Just like I didn't forget to book us a table tonight.
- Really? - Yeah.
The one you like in Chinatown.
Good save.
OK.
Props.
Lola.
How's the Huntsman's axe coming on? Not ready.
- Because? - Excuse me.
Director talking.
- Oh, sorry, man.
- Because? I'm cursed.
I doomed to die unloved and alone.
And covered in cat hair.
Lola, get this.
I know how to de-curse you.
Claudine, don't feed the crazy.
It's simple.
All you have to do is look Edna's ghost in the eyes and say, "What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
" But you have to say it three times or it doesn't work.
And I get my love life back? How do you know this? Caretaker.
- Sorry.
- OK.
Edna's really scary.
Which is why we're all coming with you.
Tonight.
- ?? - We're gonna have a ghost hunt party.
I'm sorry.
BB and I have our vampire hunting class to go to.
ALL of us.
You guys as well.
Sorry, we've got plans of a romantic variety.
Come on.
It'll be fun.
Can't we do it another night? She'll still be dead tomorrow.
No.
Because if Lola doesn't see Edna's ghost before midnight on the same day the curse will never be lifted.
But Danny is taking me out for our anniversary.
OH Danny You're such a good boyfriend You house trained too? Come on.
What's the big? You'll have another one in a few months.
- Danny? - Yeah, Danny.
Come on.
- Dannnnnyy! - Why not? Lola needs our help.
But I wanted to spend our anniversary together.
It'll be fun.
I'll protect you.
Great.
We'll have snacks.
The girl's gone crazy.
She's never gonna see this Edna woman.
Except it's not funny.
She's gonna believe she's cursed forever.
Worse she's not gonna stop talking about it.
She needs a ghost.
I'm not wearing a wig for no-one.
Ronnie.
Yeah.
- Yeah? - Let's do it.
I think you know what I'm thinking.
Look, I'm sorry.
I thought it could be fun.
What? And you wouldn't have fun with me in a restaurant? Sel-fish.
Shouldn't you be preparing for role as the Wicked Queen? Oh, wait.
You don't need to prepare for that, do you Sorry, Claudine.
Lauren forgot to take her chill pill this morning.
Thanks, Danny.
Really.
Look, don't let her get you down.
I promise you we'll have fun tonight.
I see you acting like you know who I am You think you got it but you don't understand, You see, oh oh oh oh oh oh You got nothing on me You got your moves and yeah, I do know your type You want the glory but you fade in the light, You see, oh oh oh oh oh oh You got nothing on me I've waited too long to be outrun at the top, yeah And you are too slow, too weak bring the tempo up Oh, oh, you better go go, You better start to run This is my show you better jump the gun Oh oh oh, go go If this is sink or swim You're never gonna win And you can say what you wanna but see Oh oh oh oh oh oh Honey, oh oh oh oh oh oh You got nothing on me Well, look at that I must be freakin' you out You don't know me, don't know what I am about, Sweetie, oh oh oh oh oh oh! You got nothing on me Working too hard, too long You don't put me off And I've gone too far I won't slow down I won't stop You'd better go, go You'd better start to run This is my show You'd better jump the gun This is sink or swim You're never gonna win Say what you wanna say Oh, well Oh, oh You got nothing Oh You got nothing on me She'll think it's the title! I can't read Ronnie's writing.
What is that? - An 8.
- Or a love heart! Security systems don't use love hearts.
Thank you! Right.
OK, everyone.
Try and keep quiet.
We don't want to disturb our ghostly friend yet.
Behind you, Jez.
Ow! Yeah - childish, sorry.
No, seriously - it's scary.
- Yo, BB! - Wuh! No one else look her in the eye, OK? Right - let's do this.
Sohow do we do this? OK, guys, this is how it's going to go down.
You need to look out for temperature changes, tapping, prickling on your skin, batteries draining in torches or mobiles.
Are you trying to kill me? These indicate the presence of a spirit.
Edna? Are you here with us? Maybe she's gone somewhere else.
Like where? Another school? Urban legend exchange programme? See, Danny, you can joke.
But I haven't got anyone.
And I never will.
OK Now isn't this better than going to some restaurant? Yeah, I'm having a great time.
Hold on - I think I feel something - Yeah, kind of prickly on my skin - Yeah, prickly - Lola? - No.
Nothing.
Mother of Gucci! That wasn't funny.
It kind of was.
We're OK, aren't we? Yeah.
Of course we are.
Oh yeah.
Thank you so much.
Loving the leather.
Oh, that's so sweet! You tagged him for your anniversary.
Yeah.
It's not from me - - Yeah it is.
- No it's not.
I'm sensing an uh-oh.
Danny, I don't have time for an argument, so let's shorthand this, shall we? Who's buying you jewellery? OK.
I found it in my locker.
I thought it was from you.
- Maybe it came from - Do you mind? We're trying to contact the dead here.
Come on.
I don't know who it's from.
I don't.
Sounds like our man's been playing around.
Poor Lauren.
She doesn't deserve it.
She loves him, like, in complete totalment.
Yeah, but to flaunt it like that - wear the bracelet in front of her - that's bad.
- Way bad.
You doing OK? Look, I know things seem bad with you and Danny, but one day you'll look back you're gonna Yeah, it's still going to be the same.
Is it just me or is it feeling really cold all of a sudden? Like really freezing cold? Yeah, I think I feel her too! Is anybody there? Edna, we mean you no harm.
Mean HER no harm? She's the one handing out curses.
Show yourself! Edna? Show yourself.
Oh my - Edna! Wait! Lola! Had enough of working, work no play ??? Everybody ready now Get the party going now Turn the music up, crank up to ten Till the coffins in the back room shake open Everybody ready now Are you really ready now The night is young And we have just begun Freaks out for their fun And before we're done We're gonna dance until we wake the dead All night Until the morning we'll go full steam, party so hard Till they get mad, there's a chase on You better run, run, run, run, run, run, run Run, run, run, run, run We'll wake the dead Wake the dead! Who saw what where? Who's scared now? Breaking all the windows, beats so loud Blowing up the stereo Everybody here we go If there's anybody out there, show your face Crash our party, state your case We're not gonna stop there's no way We're gonna rock the roof right off this place Dance Until we wake the dead All night Until the morning we'll go Full steam, party so hard Till they get mad, there's a chase on You better run, run, run, run OK, too much running.
I'm starting to feel cursed.
Why is she running away? She wasn't shy before.
She's a ghost, isn't she? She had a traumatic life and miserable death, so perhaps we just let her come to us.
Just say "Show yourself".
Show yourself.
Yeah She's not going to hear that.
I mean, she is dead.
Show yourself! Show yourself.
Right, OK.
Everybody this time.
One - two - three! Show yourself! - Why didn't you shout? - Because it's stupid.
Where are you going? I'm not standing here any more.
I'm going to take my love life back.
Hey - no, no, wait! You've been fooling around, haven't you? What? You forgot our anniversary, you get mysterious gifts - - One! One gift - Oh come on, Danny.
No, you're not making sense.
You haven't even got the brains to cover your tracks.
Do you know how crazy you sound? You two look comfy together tonight.
Huh? Danny and me? Way to sound rational, Lauren.
Great! I'm having an affair with Claudine and some mystery woman! How do I find the time? You tell me.
I'm not getting involved.
You're acting so whacko and - Just stop with the jealousy.
It's my life.
You're right.
And do you know what? You're welcome to it.
It's over, Danny.
.
Edna! Oh Edna? We call you, Edna! Oh, cut the Woo Speak.
Edna, get your bony carcass down here NOW! I mean it.
That spectral cow has kept me waiting long enough.
You guys keep looking.
I'm just gonna go to the toilet.
If she's in there, come get me.
But wash your hands first.
Ronnie Ronnie! What are you doing in the closet? I thought I'd be in there for ever! You nearly became an urban legend! Not funny.
- Ready for the final phase? - Yup.
You might want to adjust your wig.
How do I look? Terrible.
Come on.
Come on.
She'll be back.
She just needs to cool down.
That's the real Lauren.
I can't believe I wasted my time on her.
I'm really sorry.
You didn't deserve any of that.
No - I feel I see stuff more clearly tonight.
Clearly? You're different somehow.
Good different? So what now? Any ideas? Well, I wish - No, forget it - nothing.
No - go on.
What? I wish I could go back in time, to our first day here.
I'd just do things differently.
Like what? Choose you.
Gotcha! Danny break up with Lauren so fall in love with Claudine? You'd have got away with it if it wasn't for us pesky kids.
Busted.
Lauren's rose, it went missing.
But when you dropped your bag, the card somehow appeared in it.
I wonder how that could have happened.
"U and me 4eva.
" Not for you.
I'm not staying for this bit.
Oh, yes, you are.
Right, let's take a wild guess, yeah.
I don't know, have you seen this bracelet before? You wouldn't have put it in my locker, would you? We know you have been spreading poison about us.
You almost broke us up.
Yes, I did.
And I was amazed at how easy it was.
I think that says something about your relationship.
What is wrong with you? Danny can't take his eyes off me.
The question is, what's wrong with you? Get this, Claudine.
I don't even try and I beat you.
We can all get lucky once in a while.
You know, I feel sorry for you, Lauren.
That farm girl act isn't gonna get you much further.
It takes training, skill and dedication.
And you really think that if I wasn't here, you'd get the best parts and the hunky boyfriend? Let's ask him, shall we? Danny.
If I wasn't here, would you go out with Claudine? Not in a million years.
See? It's not me that's stopping you from getting what you want.
It's you.
You're just not that great.
And you don't even have to take my word for it.
Just have a think yourself.
How many friends have you got here? Real, actual friends? Who do you think would miss you if you weren't here? No-one.
Thank you so much for sticking by me.
I dunno if I Oh, God.
Bruising.
Did you hear that? Oh, my God, this is so wonderful.
One more.
This is for you, baby.
Yes? Lola, Lola.
OK, we get that you know my name.
What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
Again What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
And as long as I live I will never speak to you again, Ronnie.
I mean, I expected something like this from the others, but you? The wig makes you look anaemic.
I've waited too long To be outrun at the top And you are too slow, too weak Bring the tempo up Lola, it was their idea.
We thought it might help.
Oh, right, big help.
Babes, you aren't cursed.
That stuff isn't real.
Curses only seem to work because people believe in them.
Look at you, you're gorgeous.
Course you're gonna find love.
Join a forum.
Have you guys seen Claudine? I've seen enough scary stuff, thanks.
Maybe Edna has got her.
Come on, Lola, you know Edna is not real.
She's just another school ghost story.
Talking about ghost stories, in my old school they said the chemistry teacher just set on fire.
He spontaneously combusted.
No, seriously.
All that was left was a pile of smoke and ashes.
It was all the chemicals.
They built up under his skin until one day he just exploded.
That's right, you know.
They said there was a hand or an ear or something left.
It was a hand.
He was still holdinga piece of chalk.
It's just stupid.
Well, duh, just like your ghost.
I bet you two didn't think you'd be spending your anniversary chasing me in a wig.
No, we'd been saving that for the next one.
And I'll still be single.
Yep.
You'll be single, but not because you're cursed.
Because you're pathetic.
Excuse me? Seriously, Lola, this "I'm so zany" routine you do, it is a routine, right? You're not actually that stupid? - Come on, Claudine.
- Take a night off, OK, babe.
No, really.
All this time I thought she was playing dumb.
But I think she might really be an idiot.
What are you talking about? I'm sorry.
I'll have somebody explain the long words to you later.
Nice going.
- Hey, got a question.
- Yeah.
You know your dead brother? The one who got murdered.
You think you moved on a little bit too quickly? - What? - Well, coming back to school like nothing happened.
We're not talking about a goldfish here, BB, he's your brother.
Seriously, don't you feel just a little bit guilty? Getting on with your life like he didn't even exist.
Don't.
Come on, Claudine, let's go.
Who do you think you are talking to anyway, you spoilt princess? You are poison, you are twisted.
You forgot "worthless".
What was that all about? Hello? Edna? Is that you? I want to give you back your heart.
I'm sorry but it's your broken heart, not mine.
It's not your fault.
What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
What mends will break and what breaks .
.
will mend.
She finally shed her human skin.
Guys, erm, all this, I think it's my fault.
She flipped out because of me.
Because I played a trick on her.
And it was Cruel? Feel like sharing? She tried to split me and Danny up.
We retaliated and Maybe we should find her and fix this.
Claudine, where are you? Hey, wait up.
guys, I forgot my phone so I'll catch you up, yeah? - All right, mate.
- See ya.
So, you know that urban legend Claudine? Claudine? Claudine? Can we talk? Claudine, look, I'm really sorry.
You're wrong you know.
You're not worthless.
- We'd miss you.
- Yeah, right! - Yeah, I'd miss you.
- Please don't.
- No, no.
- Just move.
- ?? - No! What do you want from me? Tales of my tortured childhood? OK, my mum hated me.
Can I go now? Really, Danny, I don't want to talk about this, especially not to you.
Don't tell me.
They locked you in the attic and forced you to weave hair extensions.
She just used to scream at me.
Until dad came home and then it was as if it hadn't even happened.
He had no idea.
He just used to come home, watch telly, eat dinner.
In the morning he'd go to work.
She'd kiss him goodbye and.
.
I'd watch the car drive away.
And then she'd She.
She said if I told my dad, she'd hurt me.
I was six.
One day my dad gave me one of those Discmans and some CDs.
He put the earphones on my head.
And it was magic.
It was like I was somewhere else.
Somewhere safe.
And then one day he just didn't come home.
I never saw him again.
She said it was my fault.
She tried to trash the disc player.
I kept it in Dad's shed.
I used to hide in there, listen to music and remember him.
And fly away.
I didn't cry any more.
Just listened to the music.
Nothing could touch me.
So there you go.
You're not worthless.
Stop breaking your heart You're making it hard On you Don't drive in reverse You've been through the worst Put it behind you This is a song for The broken-hearted The disappointed ones If you hear me then this one's for you Is it really worth holding on to? Stop breaking your heart You're making it hard On you Don't drive in reverse You've been through the worst Put it behind you It's only growing pains, don't you know? The only way to live is letting go This is a lifeline For hopes that are drowning When trust is a sinking stone If you hear me, then this one's for you Because it's only a memory you're holding on to Stop breaking your heart You're making it hard On you Don't drive in reverse You've been through the worst Just put it behind you It's only growing pains Don't you know? This is a song for you I love you, Danny.
I hoped you'd love me too but .
.
but you don't.
And that's OK.
I'm not the sort of girl people love.
Lola and Stefan.
They are doing it! Doing what? It, dufus.
It! Did you read my diary? So it's true, then? Of course it's true.
There's me pretending I'm cool about him and Claudine but it hurts.
I think we shouldn't see each other outside school any more.
It's kind of weird.
He is a teacher.
Give it a rest.
It's hot.
Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel anything for me.
You're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.
How kind your Next.
Why bother to look? We all know who's gonna get Snow White.
Hey! OK.
Snow White.
Written and directed by Jez Tyler.
- Come on.
- ?? And the brooding, sexy Prince Charming goes to .
.
Danny Miller.
Come on.
And? And the part of Miss White goes to I knew it.
Just kidding.
You got it.
Yes! Wicked Queen? Oh, that'll be a stretch for you Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Time for Lauren to take a fall.
This could be the start of something I can feel my heart, it's jumping Want to walk, I can't stop running Oh, I can't stop running It's good to be a part of something What's the point, it's always nothing This could be the start of something Britannia High S01 EP06 Bathroom's free.
Finally.
Excuse me.
Always one step ahead.
You wouldn't be hiding something, would you? Stealth delivery for Lauren.
Three month anniversary.
I'm sure she'll love it.
Whatever it is.
- Where is she? - Shower.
Perfect.
Saw you bagged the Wicked Queen.
Very coolio.
Very un-coolio.
Who's a good boyfriend? I'm a good boyfriend.
Yes, I am.
I'll see you at school.
Wait up.
Bye.
Bathroom's free.
Claudine! OK.
I heard.
Question.
Why didn't I get Snow White? we just went in a different direction.
What does that even mean? OK.
It means that no-one would believe you as Snow White.
Wicked Queen.
- What? - What? - What? - OK.
Babe, I don't do the whole 'pretend- you-forgot-then-surprise-later'.
Look.
No.
Seriously.
What? Danny, I know you know what.
I cannot believe you've forgotten our anniversary.
I did not.
What do you think that flower was for this morning? Welcome back from the shower.
- What flower? - The one I left on your bed.
The card.
You and me forever.
OK, guys.
First read through of Snow White.
Written by Jez Tyler.
Me.
And directed by a really talented guy.
That would be me.
choreography by the one and only.
- That's really lovely.
- BB So you'd better not be lying.
Guys, director talking.
A red rose.
Your favourite.
Pink roses are my favourite.
I was half right, though.
OK, guys.
Let's make every moment count.
Act 1 Scene 1.
Queen's bedroom.
It's snowing outside.
I get that you are off the menu.
And yeah, it makes me a little sad.
But it's fine, it's Oh! Cheese factor 50, Claudine.
Pull back, Claudine.
I get that you are off the menu.
And yeah, it makes me a little sad.
But it's fine.
It's just the way it is.
And I'm OK with that.
You OK, man? Yeah.
Good.
I mean, I just noticed you've been taking a lot on.
With the play and stuff.
Just making the most of things, you know? Life's too short.
You get me? Hey, our Wicked Queen.
Don't strain yourself trying to think of something witty.
I've heard them all.
- Do you want this? - No, I don't do balls.
Well, I got places to be.
Later.
- I'll see you.
- See you later.
You know that flower I got Lauren? It disappeared.
Thanks for the heads-up.
I'll lock away my geraniums.
I just thought maybe you'd seen it.
Oh.
I took it.
Is that what you think? Well, no.
I just thought maybe you'd I know what you thought.
Look, maybe I might have been a bit jealous of Lauren.
OK, I was.
But, what I'm trying to say is .
.
I get that you're off the menu.
And .
.
yeah, it makes me a little sad.
But it's fine.
It's just the way it is and I'm OK with that.
I suppose I'm just not that into you any more.
We can still be friends, yeah? Of course.
How do you find time to go shopping? There's always time for shopping.
I hate doing scenery.
It's not fair.
I wanted to be Dopey.
Did you hear about Lauren and Danny in rehearsals? What's up? Word is - they are in T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
Trouble.
- No! - Get this.
Some girl was talking hunting strategies in the loo.
Sights set on Danny.
I haven't even got to the good bit yet! This is SO cool.
I can't believe it.
Lola.
Point.
Get to it.
She "saw" a ghost.
- What are you talking about? - OK.
Not everyone can.
You have to be really receptive.
My nan can do it.
So can Mum.
OK.
Get this.
My mum always knew what I wanted for tea.
Really? I see stuff others can't.
It's a gift.
Yeah.
OK.
Maybe it was some kind of optical illusion or peripheral vision thing.
With long hair and a long dress? Hel-lo, does anyone see a performing arts school anywhere? Perhaps it was someone in costume.
Right before the apparition appeared the temperature started to drop.
- Argh! - Did you see it? No.
I just want you to shut up.
Apparently, there's trouble in Lauren and Danny Town.
- No kidding? - Yeah.
We heard someone is after Danny.
Lauren's giving him a hard time about something.
I really hope it's nothing.
If this was a movie, this is how we'd meet for the first time.
I don't do romantic comedies.
Thanks.
You saw Edna.
I totally heard.
- Mashed or fried? - Who's Edna? No carbs.
Edna Blake.
She was a student 40 years ago.
Spike dumped her and she died of a broken heart.
Spike was her roguish boyfriend.
When she died, her spirit was trapped in the school.
Caretaker told me.
If she looks at you, she'll haunt you forever.
She looked right at me.
And you'll never find love.
Ever.
I'm so totally cursed.
For the brazillianth time, I put it on your bed.
It's OK if you forgot.
I didn't.
Just like I didn't forget to book us a table tonight.
- Really? - Yeah.
The one you like in Chinatown.
Good save.
OK.
Props.
Lola.
How's the Huntsman's axe coming on? Not ready.
- Because? - Excuse me.
Director talking.
- Oh, sorry, man.
- Because? I'm cursed.
I doomed to die unloved and alone.
And covered in cat hair.
Lola, get this.
I know how to de-curse you.
Claudine, don't feed the crazy.
It's simple.
All you have to do is look Edna's ghost in the eyes and say, "What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
" But you have to say it three times or it doesn't work.
And I get my love life back? How do you know this? Caretaker.
- Sorry.
- OK.
Edna's really scary.
Which is why we're all coming with you.
Tonight.
- ?? - We're gonna have a ghost hunt party.
I'm sorry.
BB and I have our vampire hunting class to go to.
ALL of us.
You guys as well.
Sorry, we've got plans of a romantic variety.
Come on.
It'll be fun.
Can't we do it another night? She'll still be dead tomorrow.
No.
Because if Lola doesn't see Edna's ghost before midnight on the same day the curse will never be lifted.
But Danny is taking me out for our anniversary.
OH Danny You're such a good boyfriend You house trained too? Come on.
What's the big? You'll have another one in a few months.
- Danny? - Yeah, Danny.
Come on.
- Dannnnnyy! - Why not? Lola needs our help.
But I wanted to spend our anniversary together.
It'll be fun.
I'll protect you.
Great.
We'll have snacks.
The girl's gone crazy.
She's never gonna see this Edna woman.
Except it's not funny.
She's gonna believe she's cursed forever.
Worse she's not gonna stop talking about it.
She needs a ghost.
I'm not wearing a wig for no-one.
Ronnie.
Yeah.
- Yeah? - Let's do it.
I think you know what I'm thinking.
Look, I'm sorry.
I thought it could be fun.
What? And you wouldn't have fun with me in a restaurant? Sel-fish.
Shouldn't you be preparing for role as the Wicked Queen? Oh, wait.
You don't need to prepare for that, do you Sorry, Claudine.
Lauren forgot to take her chill pill this morning.
Thanks, Danny.
Really.
Look, don't let her get you down.
I promise you we'll have fun tonight.
I see you acting like you know who I am You think you got it but you don't understand, You see, oh oh oh oh oh oh You got nothing on me You got your moves and yeah, I do know your type You want the glory but you fade in the light, You see, oh oh oh oh oh oh You got nothing on me I've waited too long to be outrun at the top, yeah And you are too slow, too weak bring the tempo up Oh, oh, you better go go, You better start to run This is my show you better jump the gun Oh oh oh, go go If this is sink or swim You're never gonna win And you can say what you wanna but see Oh oh oh oh oh oh Honey, oh oh oh oh oh oh You got nothing on me Well, look at that I must be freakin' you out You don't know me, don't know what I am about, Sweetie, oh oh oh oh oh oh! You got nothing on me Working too hard, too long You don't put me off And I've gone too far I won't slow down I won't stop You'd better go, go You'd better start to run This is my show You'd better jump the gun This is sink or swim You're never gonna win Say what you wanna say Oh, well Oh, oh You got nothing Oh You got nothing on me She'll think it's the title! I can't read Ronnie's writing.
What is that? - An 8.
- Or a love heart! Security systems don't use love hearts.
Thank you! Right.
OK, everyone.
Try and keep quiet.
We don't want to disturb our ghostly friend yet.
Behind you, Jez.
Ow! Yeah - childish, sorry.
No, seriously - it's scary.
- Yo, BB! - Wuh! No one else look her in the eye, OK? Right - let's do this.
Sohow do we do this? OK, guys, this is how it's going to go down.
You need to look out for temperature changes, tapping, prickling on your skin, batteries draining in torches or mobiles.
Are you trying to kill me? These indicate the presence of a spirit.
Edna? Are you here with us? Maybe she's gone somewhere else.
Like where? Another school? Urban legend exchange programme? See, Danny, you can joke.
But I haven't got anyone.
And I never will.
OK Now isn't this better than going to some restaurant? Yeah, I'm having a great time.
Hold on - I think I feel something - Yeah, kind of prickly on my skin - Yeah, prickly - Lola? - No.
Nothing.
Mother of Gucci! That wasn't funny.
It kind of was.
We're OK, aren't we? Yeah.
Of course we are.
Oh yeah.
Thank you so much.
Loving the leather.
Oh, that's so sweet! You tagged him for your anniversary.
Yeah.
It's not from me - - Yeah it is.
- No it's not.
I'm sensing an uh-oh.
Danny, I don't have time for an argument, so let's shorthand this, shall we? Who's buying you jewellery? OK.
I found it in my locker.
I thought it was from you.
- Maybe it came from - Do you mind? We're trying to contact the dead here.
Come on.
I don't know who it's from.
I don't.
Sounds like our man's been playing around.
Poor Lauren.
She doesn't deserve it.
She loves him, like, in complete totalment.
Yeah, but to flaunt it like that - wear the bracelet in front of her - that's bad.
- Way bad.
You doing OK? Look, I know things seem bad with you and Danny, but one day you'll look back you're gonna Yeah, it's still going to be the same.
Is it just me or is it feeling really cold all of a sudden? Like really freezing cold? Yeah, I think I feel her too! Is anybody there? Edna, we mean you no harm.
Mean HER no harm? She's the one handing out curses.
Show yourself! Edna? Show yourself.
Oh my - Edna! Wait! Lola! Had enough of working, work no play ??? Everybody ready now Get the party going now Turn the music up, crank up to ten Till the coffins in the back room shake open Everybody ready now Are you really ready now The night is young And we have just begun Freaks out for their fun And before we're done We're gonna dance until we wake the dead All night Until the morning we'll go full steam, party so hard Till they get mad, there's a chase on You better run, run, run, run, run, run, run Run, run, run, run, run We'll wake the dead Wake the dead! Who saw what where? Who's scared now? Breaking all the windows, beats so loud Blowing up the stereo Everybody here we go If there's anybody out there, show your face Crash our party, state your case We're not gonna stop there's no way We're gonna rock the roof right off this place Dance Until we wake the dead All night Until the morning we'll go Full steam, party so hard Till they get mad, there's a chase on You better run, run, run, run OK, too much running.
I'm starting to feel cursed.
Why is she running away? She wasn't shy before.
She's a ghost, isn't she? She had a traumatic life and miserable death, so perhaps we just let her come to us.
Just say "Show yourself".
Show yourself.
Yeah She's not going to hear that.
I mean, she is dead.
Show yourself! Show yourself.
Right, OK.
Everybody this time.
One - two - three! Show yourself! - Why didn't you shout? - Because it's stupid.
Where are you going? I'm not standing here any more.
I'm going to take my love life back.
Hey - no, no, wait! You've been fooling around, haven't you? What? You forgot our anniversary, you get mysterious gifts - - One! One gift - Oh come on, Danny.
No, you're not making sense.
You haven't even got the brains to cover your tracks.
Do you know how crazy you sound? You two look comfy together tonight.
Huh? Danny and me? Way to sound rational, Lauren.
Great! I'm having an affair with Claudine and some mystery woman! How do I find the time? You tell me.
I'm not getting involved.
You're acting so whacko and - Just stop with the jealousy.
It's my life.
You're right.
And do you know what? You're welcome to it.
It's over, Danny.
.
Edna! Oh Edna? We call you, Edna! Oh, cut the Woo Speak.
Edna, get your bony carcass down here NOW! I mean it.
That spectral cow has kept me waiting long enough.
You guys keep looking.
I'm just gonna go to the toilet.
If she's in there, come get me.
But wash your hands first.
Ronnie Ronnie! What are you doing in the closet? I thought I'd be in there for ever! You nearly became an urban legend! Not funny.
- Ready for the final phase? - Yup.
You might want to adjust your wig.
How do I look? Terrible.
Come on.
Come on.
She'll be back.
She just needs to cool down.
That's the real Lauren.
I can't believe I wasted my time on her.
I'm really sorry.
You didn't deserve any of that.
No - I feel I see stuff more clearly tonight.
Clearly? You're different somehow.
Good different? So what now? Any ideas? Well, I wish - No, forget it - nothing.
No - go on.
What? I wish I could go back in time, to our first day here.
I'd just do things differently.
Like what? Choose you.
Gotcha! Danny break up with Lauren so fall in love with Claudine? You'd have got away with it if it wasn't for us pesky kids.
Busted.
Lauren's rose, it went missing.
But when you dropped your bag, the card somehow appeared in it.
I wonder how that could have happened.
"U and me 4eva.
" Not for you.
I'm not staying for this bit.
Oh, yes, you are.
Right, let's take a wild guess, yeah.
I don't know, have you seen this bracelet before? You wouldn't have put it in my locker, would you? We know you have been spreading poison about us.
You almost broke us up.
Yes, I did.
And I was amazed at how easy it was.
I think that says something about your relationship.
What is wrong with you? Danny can't take his eyes off me.
The question is, what's wrong with you? Get this, Claudine.
I don't even try and I beat you.
We can all get lucky once in a while.
You know, I feel sorry for you, Lauren.
That farm girl act isn't gonna get you much further.
It takes training, skill and dedication.
And you really think that if I wasn't here, you'd get the best parts and the hunky boyfriend? Let's ask him, shall we? Danny.
If I wasn't here, would you go out with Claudine? Not in a million years.
See? It's not me that's stopping you from getting what you want.
It's you.
You're just not that great.
And you don't even have to take my word for it.
Just have a think yourself.
How many friends have you got here? Real, actual friends? Who do you think would miss you if you weren't here? No-one.
Thank you so much for sticking by me.
I dunno if I Oh, God.
Bruising.
Did you hear that? Oh, my God, this is so wonderful.
One more.
This is for you, baby.
Yes? Lola, Lola.
OK, we get that you know my name.
What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
Again What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
And as long as I live I will never speak to you again, Ronnie.
I mean, I expected something like this from the others, but you? The wig makes you look anaemic.
I've waited too long To be outrun at the top And you are too slow, too weak Bring the tempo up Lola, it was their idea.
We thought it might help.
Oh, right, big help.
Babes, you aren't cursed.
That stuff isn't real.
Curses only seem to work because people believe in them.
Look at you, you're gorgeous.
Course you're gonna find love.
Join a forum.
Have you guys seen Claudine? I've seen enough scary stuff, thanks.
Maybe Edna has got her.
Come on, Lola, you know Edna is not real.
She's just another school ghost story.
Talking about ghost stories, in my old school they said the chemistry teacher just set on fire.
He spontaneously combusted.
No, seriously.
All that was left was a pile of smoke and ashes.
It was all the chemicals.
They built up under his skin until one day he just exploded.
That's right, you know.
They said there was a hand or an ear or something left.
It was a hand.
He was still holdinga piece of chalk.
It's just stupid.
Well, duh, just like your ghost.
I bet you two didn't think you'd be spending your anniversary chasing me in a wig.
No, we'd been saving that for the next one.
And I'll still be single.
Yep.
You'll be single, but not because you're cursed.
Because you're pathetic.
Excuse me? Seriously, Lola, this "I'm so zany" routine you do, it is a routine, right? You're not actually that stupid? - Come on, Claudine.
- Take a night off, OK, babe.
No, really.
All this time I thought she was playing dumb.
But I think she might really be an idiot.
What are you talking about? I'm sorry.
I'll have somebody explain the long words to you later.
Nice going.
- Hey, got a question.
- Yeah.
You know your dead brother? The one who got murdered.
You think you moved on a little bit too quickly? - What? - Well, coming back to school like nothing happened.
We're not talking about a goldfish here, BB, he's your brother.
Seriously, don't you feel just a little bit guilty? Getting on with your life like he didn't even exist.
Don't.
Come on, Claudine, let's go.
Who do you think you are talking to anyway, you spoilt princess? You are poison, you are twisted.
You forgot "worthless".
What was that all about? Hello? Edna? Is that you? I want to give you back your heart.
I'm sorry but it's your broken heart, not mine.
It's not your fault.
What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
What mends will break and what breaks will mend.
What mends will break and what breaks .
.
will mend.
She finally shed her human skin.
Guys, erm, all this, I think it's my fault.
She flipped out because of me.
Because I played a trick on her.
And it was Cruel? Feel like sharing? She tried to split me and Danny up.
We retaliated and Maybe we should find her and fix this.
Claudine, where are you? Hey, wait up.
guys, I forgot my phone so I'll catch you up, yeah? - All right, mate.
- See ya.
So, you know that urban legend Claudine? Claudine? Claudine? Can we talk? Claudine, look, I'm really sorry.
You're wrong you know.
You're not worthless.
- We'd miss you.
- Yeah, right! - Yeah, I'd miss you.
- Please don't.
- No, no.
- Just move.
- ?? - No! What do you want from me? Tales of my tortured childhood? OK, my mum hated me.
Can I go now? Really, Danny, I don't want to talk about this, especially not to you.
Don't tell me.
They locked you in the attic and forced you to weave hair extensions.
She just used to scream at me.
Until dad came home and then it was as if it hadn't even happened.
He had no idea.
He just used to come home, watch telly, eat dinner.
In the morning he'd go to work.
She'd kiss him goodbye and.
.
I'd watch the car drive away.
And then she'd She.
She said if I told my dad, she'd hurt me.
I was six.
One day my dad gave me one of those Discmans and some CDs.
He put the earphones on my head.
And it was magic.
It was like I was somewhere else.
Somewhere safe.
And then one day he just didn't come home.
I never saw him again.
She said it was my fault.
She tried to trash the disc player.
I kept it in Dad's shed.
I used to hide in there, listen to music and remember him.
And fly away.
I didn't cry any more.
Just listened to the music.
Nothing could touch me.
So there you go.
You're not worthless.
Stop breaking your heart You're making it hard On you Don't drive in reverse You've been through the worst Put it behind you This is a song for The broken-hearted The disappointed ones If you hear me then this one's for you Is it really worth holding on to? Stop breaking your heart You're making it hard On you Don't drive in reverse You've been through the worst Put it behind you It's only growing pains, don't you know? The only way to live is letting go This is a lifeline For hopes that are drowning When trust is a sinking stone If you hear me, then this one's for you Because it's only a memory you're holding on to Stop breaking your heart You're making it hard On you Don't drive in reverse You've been through the worst Just put it behind you It's only growing pains Don't you know? This is a song for you I love you, Danny.
I hoped you'd love me too but .
.
but you don't.
And that's OK.
I'm not the sort of girl people love.
Lola and Stefan.
They are doing it! Doing what? It, dufus.
It! Did you read my diary? So it's true, then? Of course it's true.
There's me pretending I'm cool about him and Claudine but it hurts.
I think we shouldn't see each other outside school any more.
It's kind of weird.
He is a teacher.
Give it a rest.
It's hot.
Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel anything for me.