Buffy the Vampire Slayer s01e06 Episode Script

Oh, look! - It's Buffy and all her friends.
- That's witty.
Ever wonder why nobody cool hangs out with you? Just thankful.
Were you this popular at your old school before you got kicked out? Careful.
She might beat you up.
Hey! - Buffy! - You missed it! - Missed what? - We saw the zebras mating! Very exciting! It was like the Heimlich with stripes! And I missed it.
Yet somehow I'll find the courage to live on.
- Where were you? - Looking at the fishes.
- Was it cool? - It was fishes.
I'm feeling you're not in the field-trip spirit.
Well, it was It's nothing.
We did the same zoo trip at my old school every year.
Same old same old.
This isn'tjust about looking at some animals.
This is about not being in class.
You're right.
Suddenly the animals look shiny and new.
Gotta have perspective.
Lance! - How's it going? - Hey, Kyle.
So, is this like a, uh, family reunion? - No.
- I think it's a family reunion.
It's so touching.
Doesn't anybody have a camera? Does your mom pick out your lice, or can you do that yourself now? Quit it.
Hey! Guys, come on! - It's got my notes in there! - What's going on here? I've had it up to here with you four.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
Did I ask you to speak? OK, I guess I did.
But I want the truth.
Lance? They weren't doing anything.
Really.
We were just playing around.
All right.
I'll be watching you.
You came through big time.
Way to go, Lance! He's been looking for a reason to come down on us.
- It's OK.
- Let's check out the hyena house.
- But I think it's off limits.
- And therein, my friend, lies the fun.
What are Kyle and his buds doing with Lance? Playing with him as a cat plays with a mouse.
- What is it with them? - They're obnoxious.
Professionally.
Every school has 'em.
You start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.
- I'd better track Lance - I'll handle it.
This job doesn't require actual slaying.
You don't think we should follow? Kyle and those guys are jerks, but they're all talk.
- Mostly.
- Why don't we? Yeah, why don't we.
Hold it, hold it.
Are you blind orjust illiterate? - Hyenas are quick to prey on the weak.
- We were just You're not going in.
Anyone that does is in a world of trouble.
No.
No one's going in there.
Why is it off limits? It's a quarantine.
These hyenas just came in from Africa, so keep out.
- Even if they call your name.
- What are you talking about? A Masai tribesman told me that hyenas are able to understand human speech.
They follow humans around by day, learning their names.
At night, when the campfire dies, they call out to a person.
And once they separate the pack devours them.
Cool! I don't see any hyenas.
OK.
Now we've seen it.
- It looks cute.
- I think it looks hungry.
- Come on, Spot! Suppertime! - Stop Guys Stop! It's not funny! Stop it! It's not funny! - Pick on someone your own species.
- Are you gonna get in my face? I thought Xander would be here by now.
That'd make him on time.
We couldn't have that.
Did he seem upset at all on the bus back from the zoo? About what? I don't know.
He was quiet.
I didn't notice anything.
But then again, I'm not as hyper-aware of him as, say, for example, you.
Hyper-aware? I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure.
You got it bad, girl.
He makes my head go tingly.
You know what I mean? - I dimly recall.
- But it hasn't happened to you lately? Not of late.
Not even for a dangerous and mysterious older man whose leatherjacket you're wearing? - It goes with the shoes.
- Come on! Angel pushes your buttons.
You know he does.
I suppose some girls might find him good-Iooking.
If they have eyes.
All right, he's a honey, but it's just he's never around, and, when he is, all he wants to do is talk about vampires and I - I can't have a relationship - There he is! - Angel? - Xander.
- Girls! - Boy! Sorry I'm late.
I just forgot that we were gonna be here.
- Hungry! - Still want help with geometry tomorrow? We can work after class.
Yeah.
What is this crap? - Well, it was my buttery croissant.
- Man, I need some food.
Birds live on this.
What? - What's up with you? - Is something wrong? - Did I do something? - What could you possibly do? That's crazy talk.
I'm just restless.
- Well, we could go to the ice-cream place.
- I like it here.
- OK, now what? - You took a bath.
Yeah.
I often do.
I'm actually known for it.
That's OK.
And the weird-behaviour award goes to? Oh, great! It's the winged monkeys.
You know, I don't understand why you're sitting at our table.
Shouldn't you be hovering over the football stadium with Goodyear written on you? The kid's fat! Right! That's enough training for one day.
That last round was sloppy.
Want to do it again? No! No, no, that's fine.
You just run along to class.
While I wait for the feeling to return to my arms.
Oh, my God! Look out! Stop! Whoa! Get it! Get it! Lordy, Herbert! Gave Mr Flutie quite a scare, didn't he? Students, I'd like you all to meet Herbert, our new mascot for the Sunnydale High Razorbacks! - He's so cute! - He's not cute! No! He's a fierce razorback! - He doesn't look mean, Mr Flutie.
- He's mean.
He's ready for action, see? Here are the tusks A scary razorback.
You're right.
He's a fine mascot and will engender school spirit.
He'd better.
Costs a fortune to feed him.
All right, let's get you back into your cage.
This way.
- I'm not getting this.
- It's simple, really.
The bisector of a vertex is the line that divides the angle at that vertex into two equal parts.
It's a big blur, these numbers and angles.
It's the same stuff from last week.
- Why do I need to learn this? - Because otherwise you'll flunk math.
Explain why that's bad.
You fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that says: "Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?" We've been through this.
Do you have a headache? Yeah.
And I think I know what's causing it.
Ah! That's better.
It goes right to the source of the pain.
- Xander - Forget it, OK? I don't get it.
I won't ever.
I don't care! We can finish this another time.
See, the problem is you kids today have no school spirit.
Hold on.
Let me get his outfit off.
Today it's all gangs and drugs and those movies on Showtime with the nudity.
I don't have cable.
I heard.
At your age, we cared about the school's reputation and the football team.
Of course, when I was your age, I had old guys saying how much better things were when they were my age.
Yeah.
All right it's raining.
All regular gym classes have been postponed.
So you know what that means.
Dodge ball.
For those of you that may have forgotten, the rules are as follows: You dodge.
- Here we go! - On your guards! God, this game is brutal.
I love it! Xander? What's wrong with you? I guess you've noticed I've been different lately.
- Yes.
- I think I'm I think it's because my feelings for you have been changing.
And we've been friends for such a long time that I feel like I need to tell you something.
I've, um I've decided to drop geometry.
So I won't be needing your math help any more.
Which means I won't have to look at your pasty face again.
Are you gonna say something to me? - Dogs.
- Where? That's no way to play lead guitar! That's hunt and peck.
It's not! You heard Wretched Refuse play.
What do you think of the lead? Hey! - What are you? - Shut up.
You're sharing.
Friends like to share.
- Good? - It's too well done.
Hey! That is not cool.
Hey! Let's do lunch.
I've known him my whole life, Buffy.
We haven't always been close, but he's never I think something's wrong with him.
Or maybe there's something wrong with me.
What are you talking about? Come on.
He's not picking on you.
He's just sniffing you a lot.
I don't know.
Maybe three isn't company any more.
You think this has something to do with me? Of course.
No.
That doesn't explain why he's hanging out with the Dode Patrol.
Something's going on.
Something weird.
What are you gonna do? Talk to the expert on weird.
Xander's teasing the less fortunate? There's a noticeable change in clothing and demeanour? Yes.
All his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles? - It's bad, isn't it? - It's devastating.
He's turned into a 16-year-old boy.
You'll have to kill him.
- Giles, I'm serious! - So am I! Except for the part about killing him.
Testosterone is a great equaliser.
Turns all men into morons.
He'll get over it.
I cannot believe that you are trying to Scully me! There is something supernatural at work here.
Get your books! Look stuff up! Look under what? I don't know.
That's your department.
The evidence you have is sketchy at best.
He scared the pig.
- Well, he did.
- Buffy, boys can be cruel.
They tease.
They prey on the weak.
It's a natural teen behaviour pattern.
What did you just say? Um they tease.
They prey on the weak.
I've heard that somewhere before Xander has been acting totally wiggy since we went to the zoo.
Him and Kyle went into the hyena cage.
Oh, God, that laugh.
- You're saying Xander's becoming a hyena? - I don't know.
Or been possessed by one? Not just Xander.
All of them.
- Well, I've certainly never heard of - Herbert! They've found him! The pig? Dead.
And also eaten.
- Principal Flutie's freaking out.
- Testosterone, huh? What are you gonna do? Get my books.
Look stuff up.
You four! - What? - Oh, don't think I don't know.
Three kids saw you outside Herbert's room.
You're busted.
Yeah.
You're going down.
- How is Herbert? - Crunchy! That's it! My office! Right now! Now! You'll have so much detention, your grandchildren will be staying after school! Wow! Apparently, Noah rejected the hyenas from the Ark cos he thought they were an evil, impure mixture of dogs and cats.
Hyenas aren't well liked.
They do seem to be the schmoes of the animal kingdom.
Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy or some ducks? - Assuming "possession" is the right word.
- I'll say it is.
The Masai of the Serengeti have spoken of animal possession for generations.
- I should've remembered.
- How does it work? There's a sect of animal worshippers known as primals.
They believe that humanity consciousness the soul is a perversion, a dilution of spirit.
To them the animal state is holy.
They're able, through transpossession, to draw the spirit of certain animals into themselves.
Then they act like hyenas? Only the most predatory of animals are of interest to primals.
So, yes, that would fit.
So, what happens to the person once the spirit's in them? If it goes unchecked? I gotta find Xander.
They are strong.
Xander! This is ridiculous.
We need to talk.
I've been waiting for you to jump my bones! I have seen some sick things in my life, believe me! But this is beyond the pale! What is it with you people? Is it drugs? How could you? A poor, defenceless pig! What are you doing? - Get off of me! - Is that what you really want? We both know what you really want.
You want danger, don't ya? - You like your men dangerous.
- You're in trouble.
You are infected with some hyena thing.
Dangerous and mean, right? Like Angel, your mystery guy.
Well, guess who just got mean.
Now stop that! You're only gonna make things worse for yourselves.
I am gonna call your parents, and they're gonna take you all home.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
That is it! Do you know how long I've waited until you'd stop pretending that we aren't attracted Until Willow stops kidding herself that I could settle with anyone but you Xander, I don't wanna hurt you.
Now do you wanna hurt me? Come on, Slayer.
I like it when you're scared.
The more I scare you the better you smell.
You're about this close to expulsion, people! But I'm willing to talk to the school counsellor and we can discuss options.
Get down from there this instant! Ow! Are you insane?! Hurry up! We've got to lock him up before he comes to.
- Oh, my God! What happened? - I hit him.
- With what? - A desk.
- He tried his hand at felony sexual assault.
- Buffy, the hyena in him didn't No.
No.
But in his animal state, his idea of wooing doesn't involve a Yanni CD and a bottle of Chianti.
- There.
That oughta hold him.
Where's Giles? - At some teachers' meeting.
What are we gonna do? How do we get Xander back? I'm more worried about what the rest of the pack are up to.
The rest of the pack was spotted outside Herbert the mascot's cage.
- They were sent to the principal's office.
- Good.
That'll show 'em.
Did it show 'em? They didn't hurt him, did they? They, uh ate him.
They ate Principal Flutie? Ate him up? The, uh, official theory is that wild dogs got into his office somehow.
There was no one at the scene.
But Xander didn't.
He was with you.
Oh, well, that's a small mercy.
How do we stop this? How do you transpossess someone? I'm afraid I don't have all the pieces.
Accounts of the primals and their methods are thin on the ground.
There is some talk of a predatory act, but the exact ritual is, um The Malleus Maleficarum deals in the particulars of demonic possession, which may apply.
Yes.
One should be able to transfer the spirits to another human.
Oh, that's great! Any volunteers? Oh.
Good point.
What we need to do is put the hyena back in the hyena.
- Until we know more - Bet that zookeeper could help.
Maybe he didn't quarantine them because they were sick.
- We should talk to him.
- OK.
- Oh, wait! Somebody's gotta watch Xander.
- I will.
- Well, are you sure? If he wakes up - I'll be all right.
Go.
Come on.
Willow.
How are you feeling? Like somebody hit me with a desk.
- What am I doing here? - You're resting.
You guys got me locked up now.
Cos you're sick.
Buffy said.
Oh, yeah.
Buffy and her all-purpose solution.
Punch 'em out, knock 'em down.
What would she do to somebody really sick? That's not fair! Buffy's saved both of our lives.
Before she came, our lives didn't need that much saving, did they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me? - Maybe.
- When we were alone together.
I know there's something wrong with me.
I think it's getting worse.
But I can't stand around waiting for Buffy to decide it's time to punch me out again.
Look, I want you to help me.
I want you.
- I am helping you.
- You're doing what you're told.
Buffy's trying to help you, too.
You know that.
- Or Xander does.
- Yeah.
Buffy's so selfless.
Always thinking of us.
If I'm so dangerous, how come she left you alone with me? - I told her to.
- Why? Cos I know you better than she does.
And I wanted to be here to see if you were still you.
You know I am.
Look at me.
Look.
Xander Now I know.
Let me out! Let me out! The students have been possessed? - Yes.
- Are you sure? - We're really, really sure.
- You don't seem that surprised by this.
They were imported from Africa.
They were strange from day one.
I did some homework.
That particular breed is very rare.
Totally vicious.
Historically, they were worshipped by these guys.
- Primals.
- Yeah.
Creepy guys.
They had rituals for taking the hyena spirits, but I don't see how that happened to your kids.
We don't know how the ritual works.
Only that it involves, uh, - a predatory act and some symbol.
- Predatory act? Of course.
That makes sense.
Where did you read that? - Sherman Jeffries' work on cults and - Boys? - Sorry.
- Look.
Look We may have enough information so that we could pull off a reverse transpossession.
What do we do? Get those possessed students to the hyena cage right away.
- I'll meet you there.
We'll begin the rituals.
- We can guarantee you one, - but four more are missing.
- Don't worry about that.
After hyenas feed and rest, they will track the missing member until they find him.
They should come right to you.
Willow! Willow! I'm not listening.
Willow Willow Xander shut up! Willow! Run! - I think they're going.
- They could be faking it.
No, they're looking for somebody weak.
I didn't know they'd come after Xander.
- We must lead them back to the zoo.
- And before their next meal.
Individually they're as strong as you.
As a group They're tough.
But they're getting stupider.
Go to the zoo and I'll bring them to you.
I didn't say she looks better than you.
I said she looks better.
I heard what I heard.
Joey, chew.
You have to chew or you'll choke.
I don't see why we have to have this conversation every time we see them.
I didn't start it.
Damn! - Where are the keys? - Huh? Joey! Joey! Joey Get out! What's going on? Hey, get off! Get off! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Didn't your mom teach you? Don't play with your food.
Come on.
You know what you want.
The pathway to the hyena house.
- Where's the zookeeper? - He must be inside.
I'll go in and prepare things.
You just warn us when Buffy and the others approach.
Doctor? Uh zookeeper? Oh, of course.
The, uh Masai ceremonial garb.
Yes.
Very good.
Are you, uh, otherwise prepared for the transpossession? Almost.
Oh, right.
The, uh sacred circle.
Yes, you'd need that to, um But this would be here when the children first came.
Why would you? How terribly frustrating for you, that schoolchildren could accomplish what you could not.
It bothered me.
But the power will be mine.
They're almost here! Giles! Giles! Where are the hyenas for the transpossession? Right here in the feeding area.
Stay back.
They haven't been fed.
- Where's Giles? - He's laying in wait.
They're almost here! Shouldn't you bring the hyenas out? When the time is right.
I'm gonna need your help.
They're right behind me! That's Buffy.
Get ready! - Here.
- What is this? A predatory act, remember? Uh, right.
You'll pretend to slash my throat and - and put the evil in the hyenas? - Something like that.
Buffy, it's a trap! Willow! Uh did I miss anything? The vice principal's taking over till they find a replacement.
Shouldn't be too hard.
Unless they ask what happened to the last one.
- I had nothing to do with that, right? - Right.
- You only ate the pig.
- I ate a pig? Was he cooked and called bacon, or Oh, my God! I ate a pig? - The whole trichinosis issue aside yuck! - It wasn't really you.
Well, I remember the field trip and the hyena house.
And next thing, some guy's holding Willow with a knife.
- You saved my life.
- Hey, nobody messes with my Willow.
This is definitely the superior Xander.
Accept no substitutes.
I didn't do anything else, did l, around you guys? Anything embarrassing? Nah! Not at all.
- We're gonna be late.
- See you at lunch.
Cool! Oh, hey, going vegetarian, huh? I've been reading up on animal possession.
I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards.
- Did you tell them that? - Your secret dies with me.
Shoot me, stuff me, mount me.
Urgh! Argh!