Bump (2021) s01e06 Episode Script

1
OLY: I think I need to go.
I love you.
(DREAMY MUSIC)
- (POP MUSIC PLAYS)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(DREAMY MUSIC CONTINUES)
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
(POP MUSIC PLAYS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)
Guys.
Could we go somewhere quiet?
Yeah. Yeah.
SONG: Now I'm like a pharaoh ♪
I'm still trying to
work out just who it was ♪
That I knew ♪
Hoo-hoo ♪
Hoo-hoo ♪
(BABY BURBLES)
I know, Baby J. It's a drag.
- (BABY BURBLES)
- I completely agree.
But I just fed you, so
(FARTS)
Did you just baby sign language?
(COOS)
Did you just baby sign language?
(OLY GASPS)
(FARTS)
I knew you'd be advanced!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)
(YELLS) Did I do baby sign
language when I was a baby?
What?
(YELLS) Did I do baby sign
language when I was a baby?
I don't think that
was a thing back then.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Come and dance!
Was I advanced as a
Sorry?
(LAIDBACK MUSIC PLAYS)
(WHISPERS) Don't worry.
Not everything's genetic.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)
(POP MUSIC PLAYS)
I'm gonna leave my socks on.
You do you.
(WHISPERS) Sex socks.
- (OLY LAUGHS)
- SANTI: Oly.
(LAUGHS)
(SNAPS FINGERS) Hey!
- Oh!
- (BOTH LAUGH)
Hey.
Hi.
Um Oh, I think she might be gifted.
Really?
Can she do my maths homework?
I think she's more into
linguistics. Or semiotics.
Or both.
Well, Vince says that the brains
come from the mum's side, so
you're a lucky one, aren't you?
Well, I'm sure she'll be
good at drawing cartoon dicks.
- Guys!
- Dicks?
New finger buns with coconut.
(LAUGHS)
(REEMA AND SANTI LAUGH)
I just mean that she
she will be creative.
- Right.
- Like you.
- How are we?
- Hey, wuss.
Ladies. Little lady.
What you got there?
You're not getting any of my finger bun.
VINCE: Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
We were going over there anyways.
- SANTI: Were we?
- VINCE: Yes. Yes, we were.
Remember? We're going now.
(MYSTICAL MUSIC)
REEMA: Did you hear about Esha?
She got banned from ASOS
for making too many returns.
(MYSTICAL MUSIC CONTINUES)
You OK?
Yeah.
- (MYSTICAL MUSIC CONTINUES)
- (VINCE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
VINCE: How am I gonna eat hot chips now?
Hey.
You OK?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You want a lift home?
- Yeah.
(BABY BURBLES)
Mum said I loved being in the car.
Yeah. It's like a thing, hey?
- How is your mum?
- You know adults.
They're freaks. Especially her.
She seems kind of nice to me.
Maybe not when she got
me suspended, but
See? She seems kind of nice,
but underneath, she can
be such a massive harpy!
Like, that's when she's
not being weird and old.
Sometimes I don't even get why
Dad would want to be with her
this whole time.
- She's like a walking charade.
- Yeah, OK.
I get it.
- Shit!
- What?
- Don't look back.
- We're just driving.
- I know, but
- Do you not have your licence?
- Of course I have my licence.
- Then what's the problem?
They're cops.
OK, well, pull into that street.
That's red-hot.
Pull in here. They'll
drive straight past us.
- (SIREN PULSES)
- Fuckin' hell.
You didn't have to listen to me.
- This your car?
- It's my stepmum's.
- She know you've got it?
- She let me borrow it.
- (BABY BURBLES)
- This your baby?
- Who else's baby would it be?
- I don't know. Your stepmum's?
- What?
- Yes. She's ours.
Do you know you're
driving your baby around
with a bald tyre back there?
- Is that why you pulled us over?
- No, you did an erratic turn.
- You freaked us out!
- No, I didn't.
Anyway, I've seen this tyre now.
I can change it as soon as I get home.
- Are you going straight there?
- Are you allowed to ask us that?
Yes, Officer, we're going straight home.
We're just trying to get
the baby to go to sleep.
(BABY CRIES)
- Trying.
- Oly.
Yeah, Oly, now you've made me
want to look him up on the system.
Licence.
What was that about?
He can't arrest us for a tyre, can he?
- Yeah, if you don't shut up.
- Don't tell me to shut up.
Then keep talking, get us a ticket.
Why don't you tell him
how much you hate your mum?
What?
POLICEMAN: That other back
tyre's not that much better
and your 'P' plate's flapping
about all over the place.
This might not be your car,
but you need to be responsible
for it when you're driving.
- He is responsible.
- What's that?
He's very responsible.
He's a really good driver.
He drives a food truck
when he's not at school
to support his whole family,
like his brothers, his
grandparents, everything.
- Is that right?
- Yes, sir.
- What kind of food?
- Empanadas.
Don't know 'em.
Now, I can keep it at a warning
as long as you go home now.
Thank you. Thank you so much,
Officer, I really appreciate it.
Just so you know, I decided
about giving him a warning
before you said anything.
Thank you, Constable Cisco.
Good luck with all that.
Thank you again.
(POLICE RADIO CHATTER)
Can we sit for a bit longer?
We'll be close to normal
sleep schedule then.
Yeah.
Do you miss her?
(BABY BURBLES)
Every time I look at her
I wish she was still here.
What was she like?
She was, uh probably crazy, I guess.
She was at this protest
in Chile, and she met a guy.
My dad,
who was into her straightaway.
And these demonstrations would
go on for a couple of days.
And on the Friday,
they were getting pelted
by these douche cops,
and
Mum spat on one of them.
And these cops, they start
chasing them down the street,
and apparently,
Mum pulls Dad into this alleyway and
they're hiding from the cops
and Dad asks Mum to marry him.
She said
that if she didn't hate him
by the end of the weekend,
she'd say yes.
(SNIFFLES)
- They married on the Monday.
- (LAUGHS)
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.
That is so romantic.
And five months after
she died, he married Rosa.
That sucks.
Yeah.
Anyway, what about your parents?
How did they meet?
- Let me guess: a library convention.
- No.
- No?
- Mm.
I will have you know that
they met at an airport.
And Mum thought Dad was hot.
Gross.
But she was on her way to
Spain to meet her boyfriend.
And Dad saw that Mum was reading a book
on world politics, and he was like,
"Oh, you're reading that and all
I've got is the new Harry Potter."
But then Mum was like,
"Oh, no, I have that too."
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- (BABY GRIZZLES)
- It is romantic as well.
- Yeah, totally.
- (BABY GRIZZLES)
- I should probably take her in.
- It is!
- I don't doubt it.
Do you even know what the
odds are of that happening?
She was on her way
to meet her boyfriend.
And?
If she didn't break up with him
as soon as she arrived,
I wouldn't even be here.
I know. It's just
It's so you. (LAUGHS)
I could just feed her here.
You don't need to go in?
Could wait another minute.
As long as you don't perve on me.
(BABY GRIZZLES)
Sh-sh-sh.
- I know.
- (BABY GRIZZLES)
(LAUGHS)
(MYSTICAL MUSIC)
- SANTI: Sex socks.
- BOTH: Sex socks. Sex socks.
(BOTH REPEAT "SEX SOCKS"
AS FAST AS THEY CAN)
(MYSTICAL MUSIC)
What happened?
- We fucked.
- No.
After that.
You went back to your boyfriend.
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.
- Not straightaway.
- Yeah, right in front of me.
Right before the bell went.
You were standing with your
friends and they laughed at me.
You were flirting with Sonia.
Sonia helps Ita out at the church.
I was gonna talk to you,
but Lachie dragged you away.
Lachie was not even there.
I was about to break up with him.
You were gonna break up with Lachie.
(HALF-LAUGHS)
But you didn't.
You didn't even want to know me.
- Yes, I did.
- Yeah, right.
Like you were going to walk
over and ask Shit Girl out
in front of all of your friends.
Well, you weren't Shit Girl back then.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(BABY BURBLES)
Oly! Hey.
Sorry to interrupt your
time, but been thinking
about how people who
are completely different,
you know, totally different backgrounds,
and how they can be
right for each other.
Like, it doesn't make sense straight up.
You wouldn't pick it,
but it makes sense.
OLY: Mm-hm.
Cos cosmically.
Like you and Santi.
So if you agree, I thought
you might want to impart that
on those around you.
Like like acquaintances or friends.
Or or even best friends.
If any of your best friends
need advice on that sort of thing,
I fully endorse that.
And I reckon I can forget about
how you and Santi did it in my bed.
Not that I'm judging or anything.
Two different people and all that.
But maybe think about how that can
relate to people we might know.
VINCE: Well, I gotta
go, so think about it.
Mm-hm.
Someone wants to show you
her cute little filed fingernails
that aren't going to
scratch anyone's eyes out.
You look nice.
Mm.
Where'd that skirt come from?
- It's actually a dress.
- Oh.
I've never seen it
before. You look lovely.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
- Hey, Mum
- Yeah?
You're not in the garage
because of Mr Hernandez, are you?
(LAUGHS) What?
No! That is
Why would No. No, no.
Well, phew.
'Cause you're not allowed
to be weird at Bernardita's.
- OK?
- OK.
(LATIN MUSIC PLAYS)
Ja. Ja!
(HALF-LAUGHS) Rosa.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
- Hello! Come in, come in through.
- Hi, Mr Hernandez.
- BERNARDITA: Hello!
- Happy birthday.
- Angie.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You look nice.
- So do you.
(ALL PLAY LIVELY MUSIC)
(MAN SINGS IN SPANISH)
(MYSTICAL MUSIC)
(INAUDIBLE)
SANTI: And I loved her
the moment I saw her.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
Her spirit caught my
spirit straightaway.
(ALEJANDRO CONTINUES IN SPANISH)
SANTI: She is the scoundrel of my heart,
but I thank God that I found her.
(ALEJANDRO CONTINUES IN SPANISH)
And I thank God that she
didn't go back to Argentina.
SANTI: I look at her each day
and I still see the same woman
I met nearly 50 years ago.
But I also thank God
that she's a better cook
now than she was before.
She is the meaning of my life.
And I thank her because without her
(TOASTING, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Whoa!
SANTI: Cool, hey?
Could I have a joint?
- Really?
- Truly.
OK.
(OLY LAUGHS)
(COUGHS AND LAUGHS)
- Imagine if that was New York.
- Huh?
Imagine if you were standing there
and New York was right over there.
Get the subway like it's no big deal.
Go to the UN like, "It's no big deal,
it's just 20 minutes from where I live."
'Cause that's where I'm gonna work.
For the UN.
New York's only the third-best
city for street art, so
Controversial.
But if you do want to save the world,
it's a good place to start,
considering it's the most
fucked up out of anywhere.
Well, that's where I'm
going. To start with.
I'll save the world.
Maybe you could get New
York back to number one.
- (LAUGHS)
- What's funny about that?
Oh, it's just
you're really pretty,
and it all sounds good to me.
(GUITAR POP SONG PLAYS SOFTLY)
SONG: Still can't
believe you give a damn ♪
About me ♪
And I'm driving in our car ♪
I am looking over ♪
And you're looking at me ♪
And I ♪
They'd have good pizza there, huh?
You could get your drawings
on the wall of a pizza shop.
And I'm driving in our car ♪
I am looking over ♪
And you're looking at me ♪
Looking at me ♪
(EXHALES)
Let's go.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Do you wanna go for a walk?
- Yeah.
Rosa, hi. Do you mind taking
Sorpresa for us, please?
Thank you. How are you?
Yeah, good to see you.
(BABY BURBLES)
See ya.
- She does look like your mum.
- Yeah.
You know, I was thinking
maybe we could give her a second name.
Maria.
- Yeah.
- That's what I was thinking!
- Also, we could get married.
- (LAUGHS) What?
We could get married.
What?
Or not, I mean, it was just an idea
Sorry, I just
I just thought you wanted to kiss me.
No, I do. I
- Is this a Catholic thing?
- No.
Here.
Oh!
It's really pretty.
Yeah, Ita gave it to me.
- To give to you.
- So it was her idea.
No. It was my mum's.
I thought I should give it to you.
But aren't you supposed to get
married 'cause you're in love?
Maybe I am.
Uh, no, no, no, no, no. Um
- I like you.
- Mm-hm.
I think that you're Obviously.
Um, it's just the last
time I went with that,
I ended up with a baby,
so I don't really trust
those instincts right now.
- It was a dumb idea.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I just wasn't expecting it. I just
(EXHALES) I just thought
it would be different.
You thought it would
come from someone else.
- No.
- From some rich fuck.
Some wanker who's got dreams
of being the prime minister,
is that what you thought?
Forget it.
- ANGIE: Was Oly with you?
- Yeah, she's ready to go.
I hope the baby doesn't wake
up when you put her in the cot.
Yeah. (LAUGHS) We've well
and truly hit our curfew.
- Ooh, yeah.
- Thank you.
Thanks for a great night.
No worries, it's a pleasure,
and thank you for coming.
- Night.
- See you at school on Monday.
Many happy returns to the birthday girl.
Thank you.
I know that was for show back there.
Holding my arm.
Still, it felt good.
How pathetic is that?
Oh. It's not pathetic.
(LILTING GUITAR MUSIC)