Common Law (2012) s01e06 Episode Script

1 WES: We better be right about this.
We've got half the LAPD out here on a hunch.
Cobb's gonna go on the lam.
His car's parked here.
He'll show.
Care to make it interesting? Five bucks.
Five bucks? That doesn't sound like the wager of a confident man.
I was thinking more like 20.
All units, we have a visual on the suspect.
Fleeing pursuit.
He just turned right onto Carlisle Street.
You owe me 20.
No.
We never agreed on terms.
(approaching sirens) WES: Freeze! Don't move.
Cops.
WES: Don't mo Help! Help! Help! Help! Whoa.
Help! Help! Come on, man, help me up.
There'd be a lot less paperwork if he fell.
(sighs) COBB: Come on, bro, help.
I bet you didn't know that you were being chased by a high school state champion long jumper, did you? Just help me up, man.
You know, I'm starting to question that whole story, Travis, Help! 'cause I jumped as far as you did, I got big-boy shoes on.
What are you talking about, man? I beat you by three feet.
You did not beat me by three feet.
Kate, Amy, didn't I beat him by three feet? You guys are insane.
Thank you.
I confess, bro.
I did it.
I don't care about going to prison, just don't let me fall.
Oh crap.
COBB: Come on, man.
Come on.
PETER: It's just every morning pee a pink plus sign, I feel like a failure.
Uh, we've been trying for a long time now.
And the pressure to uh, perform, has really just Last night, I couldn't get it TRAVIS: Oh! Aw, come on, man.
Travis, you uncomfortable with this discussion? Yeah, yeah, I think we all are.
RYAN: Well, this is a safe place to say anything.
No matter how awkward.
You know, now that you and Dakota are trying for a baby sex isn't just about pleasure anymore.
You know you get into bed, and suddenly it the final over of the last innings, and you've got one bowl left and you've got to hit it for a six.
Cricket.
No? British baseball WES: I think she's saying: It's the bottom of the ninth, you got two outs, and, you know, you have to hit that home run.
Exactly.
It's performance anxiety.
It's very, very common in the bedroom.
Does anyone else want to share their experience of it? Guys? Ever wilted under pressure? No.
Nah.
Don't look at me.
Well, I got three kids.
Thanks, guys.
Oh, come on.
Listen, you're making me look bad in front of my wife, okay? I promised her that I would take her to a nightclub where she could meet some famous people.
Excuse me.
Uh, just gonna cut through here.
MAN: Pardon me, just a second.
Get to the bar? Excuse me.
Excuse me, please.
Hey, my wife'll have, uh, one of your appletinis Excuse me.
Hey, what can I get you? You know, honestly, I don't for the life of me understand how a human being can just look you right in the face and then pretend like you're not even there.
And my wife will have one of your damn appletinis.
Please.
Common Law 1x06 Performance Anxiety (elevator bell dings) So we arrested Cobb yesterday.
Yeah, we did our job.
Good for us.
I'm just saying.
Getting real close to 400.
Like real close.
This obsession with records is a waste of time.
And it's vanity.
In the long run, no one really cares about records.
I do.
(applause) 398 arrests.
You're on to something big here, boys.
Don't think it's gone unnoticed.
Yeah, but can we save the applause till we actually get to 400, Cap, and then not do it then, too? Come on, Wes.
Enjoy it, huh? I mean you get your 400th collar it'll put you into the LAPD legion of honor.
There's a lot of distinguished members in there.
Like me.
Don't tell me you guys haven't been keeping count.
No.
We have.
He has.
So have we.
I got a little something I want to show you.
We devised a little something to keep track of your progress.
Every time you make an arrest we rip one of those off.
Countdown.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Beats focusing on important things.
That's for sure.
You're right.
Here's what's important: Case just come in.
This one's gonna put you into the record books.
Couple walked into Club Firmament last night and robbed the place.
There's two of them.
You know what that means? Yeah, I think we both know what that means.
Everybody knows what it means.
Okay, happy boy.
Go get it.
KYLA: I don't know.
I mean, there's not really too much more I can tell you than what you see here.
They just looked pretty normal.
Normal how? Like, uh, could you just be a little more specific? Well, they definitely weren't from here.
He had an accent.
Like, after I gave the guy's wife his drink he said, (imitates accent): "Sorry I had to point my gun at you, ma'am.
But I just got so burlin' mad.
" Burlin' mad? Yeah.
He said it just like that.
I used to study dialects at the Actor's Commune.
Did she have the same accent? Actually she never said anything.
He was just holding her by the arm the whole time.
Oh, and when he was pointing the gun at me, I noticed that he had this silver bracelet on his wrist.
It had a bunch of charms on it like an ace, a heart, a club-- you know, like playing cards.
And then when I gave his wife the appletini, I noticed that she had the exact same one.
No.
Yeah.
You know, you look kind of familiar to me.
Have you been in here before? Me? No.
I You should come by sometime.
I'll hook you up with a drink.
TRAVIS: Dude, you have no game whatsoever.
That girl was totally hitting on you and you just you just sat there taking notes.
The wannabe actress? Are you kidding me? Does that look like my type? (gibbers) I don't care if she's your type.
She was hot.
You're single.
You gotta hop back on the horse at some point, man.
Well, when I find a horse that I want to ride, then I will-- You know what? I'm not even gonna pursue this metaphor anymore.
Let's get back to Bonnie and Clyde.
From the South.
Both like to play bridge.
How you know that? The silver bracelets they had on, they had every suit of card on them.
They give those out to bridge tournament winners.
Bonnie and Clyde aren't just from anywhere down South.
They're from around that Texas Panhandle.
And how, perchance, do you know this? Well, I used to date this chick who moved here from Amarillo.
She used to say "url" for "oil," and "burl" for "boil.
" Clyde said he was "burlin' mad.
" That's that Texas Panhandle talk.
All right.
So Texas Panhandle, bridge champions we can work with that.
Whoa! What are you doing? I'm tired of that thing hovering over my head.
It's distracting.
I like it.
You know I like it.
All right? You nervous? No, I'm not nervous.
Father never took a day off of work in his entire life, he never asked anybody to make a poster for him.
I am talking about focusing on your work, okay? And speaking of focusing on your work TRAVIS: Ah! See? Told you they were from Texas.
Yeah, but I actually figured out who they are.
Jim and Maria Bergen.
Man, they a long way from home.
Yeah.
We should check local hotels.
They stole 15 grand.
Wherever they're staying, they're paying cash.
Yeah, but they still have to put down a credit card for incidentals.
Do you think they'd be dumb enough to use their actual credit card? Do they look like criminal masterminds to you? Well said.
Let's call geek squad and get them to run a credit card screen to see what shakes loose.
Don't do that cop talk.
Hotel desk clerk says that they're in room 110.
He thinks they're in the room right now.
This is it.
No, this is just another takedown, okay? We've done this a million times.
Actually, we've done it 398 times Stop doing that.
Stop counting.
This is simple.
It's a courtyard hotel.
Everything's built around a swimming pool.
So it's, like, Whack-A-Mole.
I lead my team to the front of room 110, they flush out, you and your guys grab 'em in the back.
Got it? Whack-A-Mole.
Got it.
All units, we're ready to roll.
Hey.
Simple.
Yeah.
What are you doing here? What am I doing here? I got the front.
What are you doing here? This is the back.
It's the front.
Everybody knows the front of a courtyard hotel is the side facing the swimming pool.
Why are you here! Do you see a front door here? That is a front door! Hey! They're headed for the garage.
(tires squeal) Stop the car! LAPD! Police! Somebody run the plates on the car! Yes, sir.
What the hell just happened? You want to know what just happened? It's just like Dr.
Ryan said-- bottom of the ninth, two outs, you got that performance anxiety! Oh! RYAN: Hello, early birds.
Sorry, I'll be right with you.
Dakota, Peter, how's it going? Hey.
Well it didn't work, so You know what, I feel you.
I think I finally recognized what you guys are going through.
RYAN: That's interesting, Travis-- last time we met you couldn't relate to what they were going through at all.
What changed? Are we starting now? I thought we had five minutes before sharing circles.
Oh, we can talk while the others arrive.
Listen, earlier Wes and I had a chance to achieve a certain milestone in arrests, and it pains me to say that my partner was unable to perform.
So with all due respect to Peter, I think I gained a valuable perspective on how Dakota's feeling.
WES: I was not unable to perform.
I'm Dakota in this situation.
I'm sorry, Peter.
It's a bummer about what you're dealing with, but if anyone's Dakota in Travis's little analogy here, it's me.
If you guys are struggling to hit this milestone, I'm happy to talk you through it.
In the same way that I'm talking Peter and Dakota through their issue.
Doesn't seem to be working.
RYAN: It's a process, and it can't begin until you stop blaming each other and start communicating.
That's it? Whoo.
No problem.
You know what, I totally forgive you for screwing it all up.
Look, we always blame each other, and we never communicate unless we absolutely have to; that's how we work.
It's never been a problem.
Until this afternoon.
Excuse me, have you eaten here before? Oh, my God, I can't believe I just said that cheesy line.
It it wasn't a come-on.
I've just I've never stayed in this hotel, and I have no idea what's good here.
It's okay.
I do eat here.
About every night, actually.
Wow, okay.
A man of routine.
Well, I've kind of been staying here for a little over a year now, so Shut up.
You live here? Yeah.
Yeah, I guess I do.
Wow, now, that-that's that's interesting.
I-I travel constantly for work, and sometimes it feels like I live in hotels, but I've never met a literal hotel dweller.
We're rarely seen in nature.
(laughs) Well, I'm glad I caught you in your watering hole.
Well, this isn't permanent.
It's just been a year? You know, the one thing I hate about traveling is eating alone, so maybe tomorrow night I won't have to.
Doesn't know that I'm a player Doesn't know that I'm a player Doesn't know that I'm a player Ba-ba, ba-da, boo.
(imitating percussion) No game whatsoever, huh? She asked me out to dinner tonight.
"Carine Thompsen.
Executive Vice President of Sales.
" Good for you.
This could be promising.
Unless, of course, you get performance anxiety.
I'm not gonna get performance anxiety-- you know why? Because it's just dinner.
Right.
I'm sure you'll find way.
AMY: Yo, Marks, Mitchell.
That couple you lost yesterday, just got a call.
They walked into John Spitz on Rodeo Drive this morning.
Held the place up at gunpoint.
Made off with all the cash in the register and about 15 grand worth of designer clothes.
WES: What's with these two? Crime spree's usually two high school dropouts robbing gas stations.
Look at the wife.
She's not looking at doors, she's not going through the register.
As partners go, she really leaves a lot to be desired.
She's kind of like you, actually.
Maybe she's not a partner at all.
Maybe I don't know, look at her, she's not talking during the robbery at the bar.
Jim's holding on to her arm-- it looks like he's holding onto her arm like he's trying to keep her from running away.
SUTTON: Wes, Travis.
Join me in my inner sanctum.
Now.
I heard you guys blew a Whack-A-Mole move yesterday.
Now, that's not like you.
Makes me wonder if something's up.
It was a mistake; it won't happen again.
What kind of mistake? Dr.
Ryan says it's performance anxiety.
So you two have talked about this in couples counseling? Unfortunately, yes.
She compared it to, like, when a basketball player, you know, can't make a free throw She said baseball.
But yeah.
Maybe you should listen to her, huh? She's a brilliant woman.
I told her I thought you two were the classic Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton kind of relationship.
The old movie stars? Yeah.
They had an affair that was roiled with passion.
Truth is, they hated each other most of the time.
They couldn't keep their hands off each other, though.
Like you two-- you fight, you fight and you fight, but bam, you make a collar, there's relief.
There's pleasure, a little afterglow.
And then the cycle renews again.
(clears throat) Thanks, Cap.
The question: Which one of us is Liz Taylor? Okay, no, no, that Please don't.
Get out.
Yesterday, you were begging to be Dakota.
Just be Liz.
Be proud.
(exhales) WES: Oh Yeah, ha-ha-ha, very funny.
Charming.
Oh, this is great.
You know, I usually have to go to the New Yorker to find such sophisticated wit.
Hey, just ignore it, Liz.
Background check on the Bergens just came in.
Jim Bergen worked for 20 years as a claims adjuster until his company went broke.
Mitchell.
Man, the CEO looted everyone's pension fund on the way out the door.
Thank you for calling me back.
Just got foreclosed on two months ago.
Okay.
These guys don't even seem like criminals to me.
Thank you.
If you hear anything else, let me know.
Are you even listening to me? No.
That was Maria Bergen's sister calling me back.
How'd you get her number? Friends at the Hereford Police Department.
Maria told her that she was leaving town and didn't know when she'd be coming back.
But she did give her this.
Disposable cell phone number.
Said to use it anytime she wanted to get in touch.
Call it, see if Maria picks up.
All right, so remember, we need to keep her on the line for 30 seconds to triangulate this thing.
30 seconds, Travis.
Got that? Okay.
Stop talking.
Okay.
MARIA: Hello? Good afternoon, ma'am.
My name is Travis Marks, and I am with the U.
S.
Census Bureau.
I just have a few questions Whoever this is (whispers): please help me.
Are you in trouble, ma'am? Just please call the police.
We are the police.
Oh, thank God.
Look, I only have a few seconds to talk.
He's in the other room.
Okay, where are you right now? 28 June Street.
Okay, ma'am, we need Ma'am? Okay, I need a perimeter.
You're gonna cover the back.
You cover the sides.
I want the place locked down.
Okay? We're on the same page here, right? Just straight up smash-and-grab.
If we don't split up, we can't screw up, baby.
Go.
WES: LAPD! Put 'em down! Drop 'em! Drop 'em! (Wes and Travis shouting) Don't shoot! Don't shoot! We're with the security company.
We patrol the houses we cover in this neighborhood.
We saw people moving around in here.
Where are they now? They were gone by the time we got inside.
We found this on the floor.
WES: Drop that.
That's evidence.
You got 'em? Yeah.
"Jim's worse than ever.
He keeps talking about the end.
"I'm worried he's gonna do something terrible to me, to us.
" I don't think we're trying to stop a couple on a crime spree here-- we're trying to keep a husband from killing his wife.
For the record, I fully expect you to go postal like this one day.
(clears throat) Oh, well, looky who the cat dragged in.
The boys who just can't seem to seal the deal.
Whoa.
We're only two arrests away from the Legion of Honor.
And yet, you just missed.
Twice, from what I hear.
But don't worry about it, boys, Burton and Taylor, they had their rough patches, too.
You know about the Burton/Taylor thing? We all do.
Captain Sutton explained it to us after the time Travis threw your desk chair out the window.
Did he say who was who? Okay.
Uh, we dug these out of the house where Jim and Maria Bergen were hiding.
Let me wash my hands first.
Now, the place was undergoing floor-to-ceiling renovations, and the owners didn't leave anything behind, so we figured these pills have to belong to the Bergens.
Hoping you could run a tox screen, tell us what's what? Let me see.
Okay, well, see these little guys? The white ones? Those are aspirins.
This is a fish oil supplement, and these little guys right here? That's dexamethasone.
It's an anti-inflammatory, heavy-duty stuff.
Prescription only.
Doctors prescribe these for patients with chronic illnesses: cancer, Parkinson's, big-ticket diseases.
So one of the Bergens is really sick.
It can be, uh, rough.
(chuckling) Gain a V.
P.
, title, lose a fiance, you know? Yeah.
But then you never leave hotels, so what's, what's the deal there? I don't know.
I don't know.
I moved in here after I split up with my wife and haven't left.
Your wife? My ex-wife.
Sorry.
Oh.
(chuckles) Uh, my friend that I went to college with runs this place, so, uh, he gives me a deal and it's pretty good.
So are you planning on staying here forever? I don't know.
For a while there, I thought I might move back home, but that never really panned out.
When I was a lawyer I was a lawyer before I became a detective.
Hmm.
I took a case for this kid, Anthony Padua, and it turned out badly.
and I got really obsessed with it, and my wife, Alex, she My ex-wife, Alex.
Sorry.
She never really understood why I switched careers.
As much as I tried to explain it to her, she just didn't seem to understand it.
She kept saying, 'Why can't you be a lawyer?' and I was like, 'Because I'm a detective now.
I don't know why you can't understand that, but' I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
It's just, uh I don't know, you live in a hotel, you still call your ex-wife your wife.
Sounds like maybe you haven't moved on yet.
I've moved on.
I'm Look, it's adjustment.
I'm adjusting.
A year's worth of adjusting? I really hope things work out for you.
Called around to all the hospitals in Hereford and Jim Bergen was diagnosed with A.
L.
L.
six months ago.
Huh.
Yeah.
Leukemia.
It's fatal 90% of the time.
AMY: So it seems like a weird time to start a crime spree.
I know, right? I gotta admit, though, I feel kinda bad for the guy.
Even if he is an armed robber.
I mean, he had no job, he had no insurance, (microwave dings) couldn't get the treatment he needed Oww! What's going on, guys? Nothing.
Just riffing on a case with Amy.
Oh.
Jim Bergen has leukemia.
I know.
What's up with you? Me? Nothing.
Come on, man.
The captain tells everybody he thinks we're a couple, so you get mad if I bat around ideas with another detective? Of course not.
God, you're being so weird.
Stop acting mad.
I'm fine! You crashed and burned on your date.
God damn it.
Wow.
You crashed and burned.
So Wes is pissed off at me because he thinks that I cheated on him with some other detective.
That is so ridiculous.
This is not Sweet Valley High.
Yeah, if you're not mad, then why are you acting like a douche all day? Because I'm in a bad mood, okay? Is that still allowed? Is that against the law now? It happens every day.
I've got this Legion of Honor thing hanging over my head, it makes me sick! So do I! So do I! If it wasn't for this stupid round number, we'd have Jim Bergen in cuffs days ago.
You're damned right we would.
Hell yeah.
Easy.
Gentlemen, I'm hearing something that I rarely hear from the two of you: agreement.
You both want the same thing.
What is stopping you from getting there? What happened when you missed the couple at the hotel? Well, maybe there's a chance that I, I went to the wrong side of the hotel.
Wes, thoughts? Surprised, because maybe I, you know, deep in the back of my mind, I I've been wondering if I didn't go the wrong side of the hotel myself.
Do you see what happens when you stop blaming each other? Real communication can begin.
That's great.
When does real communication become actual arrests, real arrests? Like I say, it's a process.
Peter, Dakota, how is the baby-making going? Better.
Good, actually.
We've been, uh trying a few new things.
I got a cheerleading outfit.
You do not have to share the details.
Uh, I think, as long as I'm not, you know, shooting blanks, we have a good chance this month.
It takes a healthy couple up to a year (quietly): Did Jim Bergen fire two shots at Firmament? Did forensics recover any shell casings? No.
They didn't find any at the store, either.
Why is he firing blanks? (cells warbling) Sorry, Doctor, we gotta go.
Work thing.
Yes.
And this is the couple.
That's them.
They seemed nice.
Then these two guys at another table started yelling at their waiter.
He told the man to apologize.
Of course, the guy said "no," among other things.
Then, that man pulled a gun, fired it in the air, and ordered the other fellow to apologize.
Then he emptied the register and made all of us hand over our wallets.
Did the woman do anything? Oh, not much.
I don't think I heard her talk once.
When I asked her if she wanted another drink while her husband was in the bathroom, she shook her head.
Wait, wait.
He left her alone? For how long? Couple of minutes.
I don't know.
Okay, thank you.
Hey.
Okay, Jim goes to the bathroom.
She's got her window to run away.
She doesn't do it.
She sits there.
She's either too scared to run, or she's Or she's lying about doing this against her will.
Did we find any bullet holes in here? Not one? No, nothing.
All right, this guy's got a fatal disease, he's got a wife who's pretending to be a hostage and a gun full of blanks.
Now, why would she do that? Best reason I can think of-- if they got caught When we catch them, and we don't think she was playing along, she gets to walk away scot-free.
Maybe even keep some of that money.
You see? Let's talk about what the Bergens have been up to since they came to town.
Okay.
Okay, they go to a club to hang out with famous people.
They go shopping on Rodeo Drive.
Then they come here to dinner at a five-star restaurant.
It doesn't sound like a crime spree.
No, it sounds like a couple on a Vacation.
vacation.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Jim Bergen is dying.
He's got no insurance, he's got no money.
He takes his wife to L.
A.
with a gun loaded full of blanks.
Builds her up this big nest egg while they're crossing off items on this bucket list of theirs.
It's like every place they rob-- it's just a stop A stop on their itinerary.
You reading this? It is a numbered list.
TRAVIS: First, visit Firmament.
Second, go shopping at John Spitz's.
Eat at Northern Tunnel.
These are all the places they've been hitting.
Which means, wherever they go next We're gonna be waiting for 'em.
Yeah, that's right, and you know what's gonna happen after that.
Oh, yeah, I do.
We're gonna seal the deal.
Okay, there are four locations left on this itinerary.
TRAVIS: Bergens have been hitting the agenda in order, so we're gonna leave teams at all four places just in case.
Wes and I are gonna look for them at at MOArt.
AMY: The museum? If you want the collar, why are you going to the last place on the list? There's a benefit there later tonight.
Lot of wealthy people, lot of money floating around.
It's a target-rich environment.
We think the Bergens are going to break the pattern.
You better hope you're right, 'cause we're going to the pier, and if they show up there first, we get the arrest.
Yeah, I guess we'll know soon enough.
Anybody see anything? All clear.
Clear here.
You think we made a mistake by not going to the pier? As long as we find them somewhere, I'm not second-guessing this call.
Good.
'Cause the guests of honor just arrived.
All units, we have a visual on the Bergens.
Just walked in through the front door.
MAN: Copy that.
I see 'em.
Coleman, remember, he's got blanks in that gun.
You can't be positive of that.
Don't come any closer! (screaming) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Do not fire! Do not fire! I've got a bead on him.
Do no fire.
Coleman, don't fire.
Don't do it.
Back off, or I will kill her.
I swear to God, I'll do it! Hey, Jim, tell you what.
I don't think you're gonna do that.
Then why don't you step a little closer, and we'll see what happens? Hey, we already know there's no real bullets in that gun, Jim.
(crying) WES: We know the story, Jim.
We know about your house and your health insurance.
Your job.
They took that away from you, right? Damn right they did! You're not the kind of man to kill someone.
Especially not your wife.
I can take him.
Coleman, do not do it.
Look at me.
A lot of bad things happened to you.
But you did a lot of bad things, too.
But you don't deserve to die.
And if you do not drop that weapon, one of these cops is going to take that shot.
Now, is that how you want this to end? (crying) Maria didn't have anything to do with this.
WES: We know that.
We know that.
So, let's get her someplace safe, okay? (crying) (both crying) (sniffling) (crying) Get down.
(heavy door rolls open) So, how are we holding up, Mrs.
Bergen? Well, my husband held a gun to my head tonight, and now he's going to jail, so how do you think I'm holding up? We know it's been rough.
But if you're feeling up for it, we still have a few questions for you.
Okay.
You're husband's sick.
But he doesn't have any insurance, and now that he's going to be a guest in the state of California, for the foreseeable future, he's actually gonna be able to get the treatment that he needs, so in a weird way, this is working out for him.
I don't see it that way, Detective.
Of course not.
But we're also curious, though.
I mean, the way we figure it, Jim stole over 30 grand over the past few days.
We found most of it stuffed in your travel bag.
If you were being held hostage, how'd you end up with all that money? Well, uh I mean, Jim, he just must have put it there.
The thing is, we also found a printout in your bag from that travel website you used as your itinerary.
And all of these these handwritten notes on here about the places that you're gonna rob.
We compared those to the forms that you filled out when you got here, and it's a match.
That's your handwriting.
Maria, you, uh, you want to talk about that? Is now when I need to call a lawyer? Normally.
Yeah.
But my partner and I realize your situation is a unique one.
He's saying that we feel sorry for you.
Jim's got to go to jail.
There's no way around that.
But no one was hurt on your vacation.
So, we are gonna return all of the money.
And our official report will state that you were held captive by your husband.
Deal? You mean you're gonna let me go home? If we just arrested her, we'd be at 400.
We'll get there.
That wasn't performance anxiety, that was compassion.
You're right.
Pressure's off, though.
We got the record.
Record? This Legion of Honor isn't a record, it's an accomplishment.
And it's one you should be proud of.
But to hold a record, you got to be number one, and there are a lot of records in this department, and you happen to be looking at the guy who has them all.
Now, if you think this Legion of Honor is tough, wait till you start to zero in on the real record.
Good luck managing this performance anxiety, boys.
Right.
My balls.
So I have no clue.
I'm sorry.
I just had to apologize for my behavior last night.
It was awkward, and it was blah.
It's not me.
I, uh, I-I'm getting back on the horse here, and clearly I've got a long ways to go when it comes to talking to women.
Hi.
Hi.
Well, I would start by not making your ex-wife the focus of all conversation.
That's a good tip, that's a good tip.
Yeah.
Can I sit down? Yeah.
(clears throat) Look, I'm not gonna push this, but if you gave me another shot here, I'm pretty sure I could avoid ruining it and sabotaging it.
I'm really trying to stop doing that.
Okay.
Well, I'm already done eating.
But you could join me in my room for a drink.
As long as you're willing to give me another shot.
We could do that, too.
Mm-hmm.
Right now? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
(phone ringing, groans) I'm sorry, it's my office; give me one second.
Hey, um, yeah, I'm tried up.
Can, uh, I talk to you in the morning? (sighs) Okay, fine.
It's a work thing.
You, too.
Night.
(beeps) Sorry about that.
Uh, you ready? Yeah.
Okay.
(inhales) (chuckles) "You, too.
" I didn't mean to eavesdrop on your conversation, Carine, but the way you said that, wasn't like you were talking to your office.
It was like you were talking to someone who just said they love you.
You weren't talking to your office, were you? You didn't lose your fiance when you got the VP title.
Does any of this need to change anything? Nobody has know what we ever do tonight.
I peed a plus sign this morning.
Oh, that's great.
(cheering) It's still really early, but you guys have all been so sweet, and we just felt like we had to tell you.
WES: Yeah.
Yeah.
That's great, fantastic news, Dakota.
I mean, Peter, yeah? (pops) (laughter) It's a good day.
It's a good group; I mean, it's a good day for group.
You're very cheerful today, Wes.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess.
Am I? Why? Is that weird? (murmuring in agreement) I'm in a good mood.
Should I talk about why I'm in a good mood? Uh, well, I don't want to take anything away from Peter and Dakota, steal your thunder or anything like that, but a lot of talk in this group has been about my ex-wife.
Sort of ad nauseum.
(chuckling) Courtesy of this rascal.
And, uh, I took a big step in, you know, getting over her last night.
I met a girl.
And, uh, we had dinner and we hit it off.
And, uh, she invited me up to her room.
(whistling, oohs) Okay.
(laughter) You had sex.
You know, in a sense.
You know, we didn't actually go through the act of love, because it turns out she's engaged, and I didn't know that.
Then she was having doubts about the engagement, and I told her, "Hey, you know, look at my life.
"Go ahead and set a wedding date 'cause you don't want to be like" (clears throat) But the door was open.
I just didn't go through it.
You understand, I was ready.
And that makes it the emotional equivalent of sex.
TRAVIS: No.
There's no such thing as the emotional equivalent of having some sex.
There's Hold on, show of hands.
Does Wes deserve credit for getting back on the horse? You know what, let's just go back to Dakota and Peter, and let's talk about their thing.
No, no, no.
Raise them up.
Raise them up if you feel like he took a big step last night.
I don't even care anymore.
Really, there's no one? No one? Nothing, nobody? Sorry, but sex is sex.
Mm-hmm.
Boom.
I'm the greatest of all time! (grunts) Who wants some? Huh? You want some more? You want some more? I'm done.
Anyone else? I'll do it.
Now, Wes, you do know that this is a physical challenge.
Actually, it looks more like a mental challenge.
And I think I can beat you without even shooting the ball.
You get one shot.
You make it, you win; you miss it, I win.
Have you been watching? 'Cause I'm on fire.
Yeah, you look decent.
But I think if it came down to one shot, do or die with all these guys watching you You're gonna try to psych me out? You gonna try and get in my head? I think it's firmly established that that's possible.
Easiest five dollars I ever made.
Not really the money, though, is it? You know, it's that knowledge that if you miss this shot, I'll never let you forget it.
Not gonna happen.
Could make it a little more interesting.
I mean, we could make it 20 bucks.
Five is fine.
That doesn't sound very confident.
Does that sound confident to you, Dee? Too much pressure.
It's just not confident Travis.
I think it's too much pressure.
But please, please, go ahead.
You know, we could make it 50 bucks.
We could make it $100.
All you got to do is put that big ball in that tiny hoop all the way across