Danger Mouse (2015) s01e06 Episode Script
Big Head Awakens
1 Chief! What vile villainy bestrides our brave battling Brit? What pestiferous punishment has Penfold so pressed? Is he escaping some evil madman's lab? Or is he just making breakfast? Morning, Penfold.
Ready for another day of death-defying danger and excitement? Let me think No! At least not until I've had my bowl of honey crumbs.
And there's no milk! Oh, thank you.
Sorry, Penfold.
I think this milk might be about to go off.
Mmm.
Black cherry.
Operation Milk Go Boom is complete.
Whoo! Time for Operation Me Take Nap.
No milk today, thank you.
No, no.
No, no, no.
Oi, where's my milk? Dashed bad show that blighter breaking into HQ.
- Delicious.
- Sorry, Colonel.
I've been searching the security system and I can't find the problem.
I don't get it.
I gave Danger Mouse a brand-new hand-held security alarm wand.
Oops.
I spend all my time making the greatest gadgets any secret agent has ever had and you, mouse, always break them! Nonsense.
Name three times that's ever happened.
Careful, Danger Mouse.
That vase is actually a laser-guided bug detector.
Not that kind of bug, Danger Mouse.
Some sort of secret communications device disguised as a book, eh? That's just a book.
That was a high-def surveillance camera fly.
And after years of research and effort, my Hadron Collider is now ready to unlock the mysteries of the universe.
Alright, name four.
Luckily I've finished a new system that's Danger Mouse-proof.
Headquarters Electronic Assault Defender.
I've integrated it with the security systems on all of HQ's buildings, devices and vending machines.
I'll just activate the app on my tablet.
Where's my tablet? Hmm? Why do I put up with this? Perhaps we should get breakfast down at Big Mike's, Penfold.
Chief, shouldn't we wait to find out how the new system works? But, no, I have to make gadgets for a mouse to break.
HEAD defence system standing by.
To activate, wash beans off operating tablet and press enter.
I can't go out in my Giraffe Warriors onesie.
- You are getting a bit old for it.
- No, I mean it's covered in beans.
- Here, lend me your trousers.
- No.
- Just Just for one minute.
- I will not! Last time it took three washes just to get the jam stains out.
We'll just go back in and For building entry, type in extremely complex code.
Chief, we didn't get the code from the professor.
Not to worry.
It's just a machine.
Nothing I can't handle.
Try the colonel's birthday.
- Incorrect.
- Trying "Danger Mouse is awesome".
Very incorrect.
Incorrect and insulting.
Not a word! Incorrect! Incorrect! - I think you broke it.
- Better go in and tell Squawkencluck.
Oh, right.
- Enemy presence detected.
- Alright.
Look here, Big Brain or whatever your name is, it's me, Danger Mouse.
Enemy Danger Mouse detected.
Prepare for counter measures.
Penfold, run! For the first time since I got here, I can relax.
Status report, HEAD.
Major disaster.
Professor, we have the minutest hint of a wafer-thin problem.
And we're back.
I'm not enjoying this! I was just olé! trying to enter my olé! secret code when old Big Head went olé! bonkers and started attacking us.
- Danger Mouse.
- Yes, Professor.
I'd just like to say you are a terrible secret agent! Chief, I think she's upset! Well, Professor, some people might think that you aren't a very good gadget-making thingy What is it she does, Penfold? - Did she just hang up on you? - I hung up first.
Olé! Mm I heard there's been a spot of bother with the whatchamacallit.
Mainframe logic boards damaged.
Engaging self-protection protocol.
- Just teething troubles, Colonel.
- Ah, very good.
I'm off Put me down! Also that tickles.
Unhand my hologram before I! Gross ineptitude detected.
Unacceptable and embarrassing.
I say, Professor, your HEAD has a bit of a chip on her shoulder.
It works on so many levels.
Chip, computer chip, head, shoulders.
I couldn't have put it better myself.
Right, Penfold, we have to break back into HQ ASAP, otherwise who knows what HEAD will do? - LOL and smiley face, Chief.
- We can acronym later.
Hashtag charge! Ah! Aren't they cute? That's it, Penfold.
I know how we can get back inside HQ.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Mission accomplished.
You see? A machine will never be able to outthink a Ah, there you are, Professor.
Colonel K.
Colonel K hologram.
It's only a guess, Chief, but I think we might have been captured.
Not to worry.
Professor, just turn off old Big Head.
Syntax error.
Name is not Big Head.
I would turn it off except I'm attached to the wall.
HEAD system compromised by user incompetence and silliness.
Engaging total system override.
Pff.
How bad can that be? For citizens' safety, the security of Great Britain is now under the control of Big Head.
Penfold, tell that mouse that this is all his fault.
Penfold, tell that scientist that if it hadn't been for her faulty machinery - My machinery worked perfectly! - Yeah, sure.
If you like things that break.
Stop it! Stop it now! Chief, you are the greatest secret agent in the world.
Professor, you are the greatest gadget scientist in the world.
With your gadgets and your skills, Chief, we can overcome any villain in the universe.
Can't we just get along? Thank you.
Thank you so much.
You're too kind.
Don't milk it, Penfold.
I suppose I could be a bit more careful with them.
Maybe even find out how they work.
And I suppose I can be a bit more patient and probably take down the Danger Mouse Is Stupid website.
- Yes, you could.
The what? - Nothing.
We need to get to the Danger Flat and remove the Big Head chip before it spreads worldwide.
I have a wall-escape gadget in my hair.
If you could Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
- Got it.
I'll just - Listen to the instructions? - Yes, that.
- Press A, then B, then A again.
And then tap the end against the wall.
To the Danger Flat.
Unacceptable.
Switching to ultra emergency animatronic hyperdrive.
Come on, start, you stupid thing! Got it.
Oh, 'eck! All gadgets engage.
The fiend.
She's redecorated.
When we get close, you two distract it and I'll remove the chip, OK? - Oi, Big Head! - Yoo-hoo! You're too late.
I can walk, just like a real girl! Um, that is, engage eradication sequence.
Is this the end for our heroes? I hope so, because I have an audition in a few minutes, so if someone could let me know what happens.
Is this where you tell me I'm a dim-witted, imbecilic mutton head? That's exactly what you are, but never has this country needed one more.
You're welcome I think.
Danger Mouse, I want you to start misusing those gadgets.
Do it like the world depends on it, because it does.
You're not doing it right.
Hey! No.
Stop.
You buffoon! Ha! How embarrassing.
Hey-hey! Huh? Welcome to dangermouseisstupid.
dumdum.
And so with Big Head defeated and me not passing the audition, even though I clearly deserve the part, peace breaks out and Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse are BFFs forever.
Odd.
This indicates the presence of Big Head.
Toast is off, I'm afraid.
Colonel, he's done it again! Yesterday you were all, "Misuse all the gadgets like the world depends on it.
" It's like working with a bunch of toddlers! All you need is nappies.
You said I could misuse all the gadgets Join us next time for more Will you lot keep it down, please? I'm trying to end the show.
Oh, why do I bother? I've got all milk up me nose now.
Ready for another day of death-defying danger and excitement? Let me think No! At least not until I've had my bowl of honey crumbs.
And there's no milk! Oh, thank you.
Sorry, Penfold.
I think this milk might be about to go off.
Mmm.
Black cherry.
Operation Milk Go Boom is complete.
Whoo! Time for Operation Me Take Nap.
No milk today, thank you.
No, no.
No, no, no.
Oi, where's my milk? Dashed bad show that blighter breaking into HQ.
- Delicious.
- Sorry, Colonel.
I've been searching the security system and I can't find the problem.
I don't get it.
I gave Danger Mouse a brand-new hand-held security alarm wand.
Oops.
I spend all my time making the greatest gadgets any secret agent has ever had and you, mouse, always break them! Nonsense.
Name three times that's ever happened.
Careful, Danger Mouse.
That vase is actually a laser-guided bug detector.
Not that kind of bug, Danger Mouse.
Some sort of secret communications device disguised as a book, eh? That's just a book.
That was a high-def surveillance camera fly.
And after years of research and effort, my Hadron Collider is now ready to unlock the mysteries of the universe.
Alright, name four.
Luckily I've finished a new system that's Danger Mouse-proof.
Headquarters Electronic Assault Defender.
I've integrated it with the security systems on all of HQ's buildings, devices and vending machines.
I'll just activate the app on my tablet.
Where's my tablet? Hmm? Why do I put up with this? Perhaps we should get breakfast down at Big Mike's, Penfold.
Chief, shouldn't we wait to find out how the new system works? But, no, I have to make gadgets for a mouse to break.
HEAD defence system standing by.
To activate, wash beans off operating tablet and press enter.
I can't go out in my Giraffe Warriors onesie.
- You are getting a bit old for it.
- No, I mean it's covered in beans.
- Here, lend me your trousers.
- No.
- Just Just for one minute.
- I will not! Last time it took three washes just to get the jam stains out.
We'll just go back in and For building entry, type in extremely complex code.
Chief, we didn't get the code from the professor.
Not to worry.
It's just a machine.
Nothing I can't handle.
Try the colonel's birthday.
- Incorrect.
- Trying "Danger Mouse is awesome".
Very incorrect.
Incorrect and insulting.
Not a word! Incorrect! Incorrect! - I think you broke it.
- Better go in and tell Squawkencluck.
Oh, right.
- Enemy presence detected.
- Alright.
Look here, Big Brain or whatever your name is, it's me, Danger Mouse.
Enemy Danger Mouse detected.
Prepare for counter measures.
Penfold, run! For the first time since I got here, I can relax.
Status report, HEAD.
Major disaster.
Professor, we have the minutest hint of a wafer-thin problem.
And we're back.
I'm not enjoying this! I was just olé! trying to enter my olé! secret code when old Big Head went olé! bonkers and started attacking us.
- Danger Mouse.
- Yes, Professor.
I'd just like to say you are a terrible secret agent! Chief, I think she's upset! Well, Professor, some people might think that you aren't a very good gadget-making thingy What is it she does, Penfold? - Did she just hang up on you? - I hung up first.
Olé! Mm I heard there's been a spot of bother with the whatchamacallit.
Mainframe logic boards damaged.
Engaging self-protection protocol.
- Just teething troubles, Colonel.
- Ah, very good.
I'm off Put me down! Also that tickles.
Unhand my hologram before I! Gross ineptitude detected.
Unacceptable and embarrassing.
I say, Professor, your HEAD has a bit of a chip on her shoulder.
It works on so many levels.
Chip, computer chip, head, shoulders.
I couldn't have put it better myself.
Right, Penfold, we have to break back into HQ ASAP, otherwise who knows what HEAD will do? - LOL and smiley face, Chief.
- We can acronym later.
Hashtag charge! Ah! Aren't they cute? That's it, Penfold.
I know how we can get back inside HQ.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Mission accomplished.
You see? A machine will never be able to outthink a Ah, there you are, Professor.
Colonel K.
Colonel K hologram.
It's only a guess, Chief, but I think we might have been captured.
Not to worry.
Professor, just turn off old Big Head.
Syntax error.
Name is not Big Head.
I would turn it off except I'm attached to the wall.
HEAD system compromised by user incompetence and silliness.
Engaging total system override.
Pff.
How bad can that be? For citizens' safety, the security of Great Britain is now under the control of Big Head.
Penfold, tell that mouse that this is all his fault.
Penfold, tell that scientist that if it hadn't been for her faulty machinery - My machinery worked perfectly! - Yeah, sure.
If you like things that break.
Stop it! Stop it now! Chief, you are the greatest secret agent in the world.
Professor, you are the greatest gadget scientist in the world.
With your gadgets and your skills, Chief, we can overcome any villain in the universe.
Can't we just get along? Thank you.
Thank you so much.
You're too kind.
Don't milk it, Penfold.
I suppose I could be a bit more careful with them.
Maybe even find out how they work.
And I suppose I can be a bit more patient and probably take down the Danger Mouse Is Stupid website.
- Yes, you could.
The what? - Nothing.
We need to get to the Danger Flat and remove the Big Head chip before it spreads worldwide.
I have a wall-escape gadget in my hair.
If you could Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
- Got it.
I'll just - Listen to the instructions? - Yes, that.
- Press A, then B, then A again.
And then tap the end against the wall.
To the Danger Flat.
Unacceptable.
Switching to ultra emergency animatronic hyperdrive.
Come on, start, you stupid thing! Got it.
Oh, 'eck! All gadgets engage.
The fiend.
She's redecorated.
When we get close, you two distract it and I'll remove the chip, OK? - Oi, Big Head! - Yoo-hoo! You're too late.
I can walk, just like a real girl! Um, that is, engage eradication sequence.
Is this the end for our heroes? I hope so, because I have an audition in a few minutes, so if someone could let me know what happens.
Is this where you tell me I'm a dim-witted, imbecilic mutton head? That's exactly what you are, but never has this country needed one more.
You're welcome I think.
Danger Mouse, I want you to start misusing those gadgets.
Do it like the world depends on it, because it does.
You're not doing it right.
Hey! No.
Stop.
You buffoon! Ha! How embarrassing.
Hey-hey! Huh? Welcome to dangermouseisstupid.
dumdum.
And so with Big Head defeated and me not passing the audition, even though I clearly deserve the part, peace breaks out and Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse are BFFs forever.
Odd.
This indicates the presence of Big Head.
Toast is off, I'm afraid.
Colonel, he's done it again! Yesterday you were all, "Misuse all the gadgets like the world depends on it.
" It's like working with a bunch of toddlers! All you need is nappies.
You said I could misuse all the gadgets Join us next time for more Will you lot keep it down, please? I'm trying to end the show.
Oh, why do I bother? I've got all milk up me nose now.