Darkwing Duck (1991) s01e06 Episode Script
Apes of Wrath
# Daring duck of mystery # Champion of right # Swoops out of the shadows # Darkwing owns the night # Somewhere some villain schemes # But his number's up.
Three.
two.
one # Darkwing Duck # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck Let's get dangerous.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck! # Cloud of smoke and he appears # A master of surprise # Who's that cunning mind behind # That shadowy disguise? # Nobody knows for sure # But bad guys are out of luck.
'cause here comes - Darkwing Duck - Look out! # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Better watch out.
you bad boys # Darkwing Duck! Nunh-unh.
Impossible! No way! A big fat positive negative! In other words (grunts) no can do! You mean you don't think you'll be able to find the missing ape lady? I mean, I don't think I'll be able to shut this stubborn suitcase! And for your information, Dr.
Bruté is not an ape lady.
She's a famed anthropologist in the employ of SHUSH.
Which is why SHUSH called Darkwing Duck in on the case.
Yee-haw! Never fear, ol' bring-'em-back-alive Gosalyn's here! - Sorry, Gosalyn, you're not going.
- What? - I said you're not going! - No fair! I know more about blood-sucking jungle leeches than anyone.
You are not going, and that's finale, fini.
end of discussion.
(inhales deeply) If you think that's going to change my mind, you are sadly mistaken.
I am unshaken, unmoved, and Unbelievable! This place is totally Tarzan! (Tarzan yell) (apes bellow) Sounds like a pretty tough neighborhood.
Not tough enough for Darkwing Duck.
Especially since SHUSH made sure we have the latest state-of-the-art jungle survival equipment.
For example, this may look like an ordinary coconut.
But it's actually a cleverly disguised bomb.
To explode it, all you have to do is - Twist the top.
- (ticking) Oops.
Here! - Whoa! - Give me that! Now just push that button and I'll toss it out! - This one? - No.
Guess I should have buckled up.
(ticking) Aah! (ticking) (screaming) Well, at least it was a safe landing.
(growling) Um, perhaps I spoke too soon.
Aah! Ouch.
And double ouch.
Hey, are you all right, Dad? Peachy! Now where'd you park the plane? Right over Uh-oh! They're hurting my baby! The natives are getting restless.
Way cool! Gosalyn, get back here! This is better than going to the zoo! Get down here! (Tarzan yell) - (grunts) - (vocalizes) Whatever you do, don't make any sudden moves.
(sniffing) Eat that, and you're dead meat! (roars) Here's a new word for you, Gosalyn.
It's called "diplomacy.
" Learn it.
Hey, knock that off.
(growls) Yeah, this isn't what you think it is.
In fact, it isn't even close.
(screeches) Help! I'm about to become twins! Hey, you, come on (Launchpad) Yaah! (crash) Uh-oh.
Ew! Monkey hairs! Hey, there's writing in here.
"Dr.
Beatrice Bruté, famed anthro anth-ro-po-lo-gist.
" - What?! Do you realize what this means? - Yeah, you're not gonna let me keep it.
It means we found Dr.
Bruté's safari hat.
Now all we have to do is find the rest of her.
Ha! If there is a rest of her (ape screaming) Hmm, I'll bet those apes are responsible for Dr.
Bruté's disappearance.
(Launchpad) That, or they have a thing for hats.
(gunfire) Hit the dirt! (gunfire) (English accent) Blast it! Those monkeys have eluded us again.
Who you calling a monkey? - I'm Darkwing Duck! - Darkwing Duck, eh? - Hmm Prove it! - Certainly.
Watch this! (yells) Ooh-hoo-hoo! Uh-oh.
Not another coconut.
(thud) Hmm, I say That's Darkwing Duck, all right.
So, Major Trenchrot, you say you knew Dr.
Bruté? Like a sister.
In fact, I was so fond of the dear, I was planning to make her a partner in my banana plantation.
But alas, one day whilst I was donating free bananas to those ungrateful apes, they kidnapped her.
And that's the last anyone's seen of the old girl.
(Gosalyn) Hey, Major! What's in here? I-I mean, something, but you can't go in there.
Why? And how come? Because, uh, that's where we peel the bananas, and some of them are quite bashful, you know.
And besides, Gosalyn, we've gotta find those gorillas before Dr.
Bruté's history! No need to find them, they'll find you! Those horrid gorillas attack my plantation every night.
Perfect! Night is my favorite time of day.
Boy, DW, how did you get Gosalyn to go to bed so easily? Launchpad, the secret of being a good parent is letting your child know who's boss.
'Course, offering a ten spot never hurt either.
(grunting) All I need are some bananas for bait and I'll have the perfect gorilla trap.
Uh-oh! (gasps) I thought I told you to stay away from here! From here? Oh, you mean from here! I thought you meant another here, not this here here.
I'll teach you to disobey! Oh! Uhh! Ow! Come on, could be gorillas.
Or very large termites! - Gosalyn? - Trenchrot? I didn't do it! Of course you didn't! - Then just what were you doing? - Trying to catch gorillas? Ha-ha! She was trying to catch gor (grunting) Gee, your trap worked! Too bad DW isn't a gorilla.
Gosalyn! Uh, I think I'm supposed to be in bed.
The audacious avenger, always mindful of menacing misdoers, keeps his senses tuned to the silence of the night.
(gunshots) Gorillas! Oh, Darkwing, just in time.
Those maniacal monkeys are stealing my bananas! Why would they steal bananas when you give them away? Because they're rotten to the core.
They'll take anything that's not nailed down.
Hold it, Trenchrot.
They've got Gosalyn! (panting) No, Dad! Watch out for my gorilla trap.
OK, they've kidnapped Gosalyn and they've kidnapped Dr.
Bruté.
But we'll find those tree-top terrorists.
No one messes with Darkwing Duck and gets away with it! DW, I think there's something you oughta know.
What's that, Launchpad? Launchpad? Buddy? Despite the disconcerting disappearances, the undaunted do-gooder demonstrates his daring by ducking! (apes growling softly) Uh, banana, anyone? Oh, boy! It looks like we may have to fight our way out of this one, DW.
Au contraire.
mon frère.
In a time of crisis, one must remain cool, calm and unflappably civil.
OK, you big baboon! This is your last chance! Where's Gosalyn? OK, so I don't practice what I preach.
I'm a parent, I can get away with it.
(roars) I think he's challenging you, DW.
At least, that's how they do it on Wrestling for Dollars.
Well, then, challenge accepted.
Shpita-hoing boida-hiee muhay hoi-yabay waha! Hoo! Impressed? (thumps) I guess that's a no.
Well, you know what they say - if at first you don't succeed use your head! And if that doesn't work, use something bigger! (crash) Excuse me.
Toodles! At least this time I didn't get clobbered with coconuts.
(woman) Ah! Darkwing Duck, I presume! How delightful! You're just in time for tea! Ooh, and with a slice of banana.
Just how I like it! Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Dr.
Beatrice Bruté.
Nice outfit.
Well, when in Rome do as the Romans.
And when in the jungle, go ape! Ooh-ah-ooh-ah! Care to try it? Darkwing Duck act like a monkey? Sorry! No way! Absolutely, positively not.
(growls) Of course, on second thought How'd that go again? Ooh-ooh-eh-ee-eh Something like that? (Tarzan yell) Hey, Dad, about time you got here! Is this place wild, or what? I'll opt for, "or what"? (Dr.
Brutè) Well, now that we're all here, what say we have a little celebration? Bongo, Congo! Prepare the primate punch! Primate punch? (Dr.
Brutè) A mixture of fresh tropical fruit juices.
I think you'll find it quite refreshing.
Ooh-ooh-ah-ah! Um, thanks.
(gulps) Mmm, that's not bad.
Not bad at all.
(whistle blows) Help.
(screaming) Uh, no, no, no thanks.
He's had enough for both of us.
Forget it, Gosalyn, you're too young to explode.
Besides, we're here to help Dr.
Bruté escape.
I say ooh-ooh-ah! Did I say I need help? No, but you certainly look like you could use some.
Bongo and Congo are helping me, helping me fight that criminal Trenchrot.
If anyone's a criminal it's those apes! They stole Trenchrot's bananas.
Bananas? (vocalizing) Aah! Aah! Aah! Looks like Major Trenchrot certainly pulled the banana peel over your eyes, young man.
(vocalizing) Do these look like bananas? Holy guacamole! - Keen gear! - Yipes! You see, Trenchrot is stockpiling weapons, not bananas.
He wants to turn this island into a playground.
- It would be a good place for a jungle gym.
- Not that kind of playground.
Trenchrot is planning a vacation villa for villains! Hmm, a hotel for hit men, eh? I suppose these weapons are for getting rid of anyone who stands in his way? Wrong! They're door prizes for his first 100 guests.
Unfortunately, before I could contact SHUSH, I got caught snooping.
I'd still be a prisoner at that phony plantation if Bongo hadn't rescued me.
Looks like Trenchrot's made a real monkey out of me! (laughing) Just as I had hoped.
That costumed clown has led us straight to the gorillas' camp.
Now, let's sic 'em, boys! (evil laughter) (shouting) Ha! You can't scare me! After all, there's only four of you and there's (gulps) one of us.
Say cheese.
(all) Cheese! Fools! You let them get away! Oh, well.
They might have escaped this time, but it won't be long until they run out of places to hide.
(laughing) (all laughing) (man) Yeah.
(Brutè gasps) It looks like evil has triumphed once again.
Nonsense! It's not over till it's over.
OK, so maybe we are hopelessly outnumbered.
Out-weaponed and out-everythinged.
- But that's no reason to give up! - You mean you've got a plan? No! But I'm working on one.
Hmm, now let's see Yes! Yes! That's it! Nah, too pedestrian.
Oh! Yes! Nah (gulping) Primate punch? No thanks.
Blowing up irritates my stomach.
Launchpad! You're a genius! What an idea! Thanks, DW.
So what's my idea? What an idea! Soon, the common criminal will be able to live the life of luxury! Vacationing five days and six glorious nights at Trenchrot's Spy Spa and Rabble-Rousers Retreat! Airfare not included! It's time.
Ready my chopper! We begin the final monkey massacre! (bomb whistles) Incoming! Incoming? (thumping) Wow! Primate punch to go! Ready, aim, fire! - Run for it! - (yelling) You cowards! Wait for me.
(screams) I am the terror that flaps in the Hey, I'm-I'm not finished.
(whistles) (grunts) Whoa! Ugh! Now, as I was saying - I am the terror that flaps in the night.
- I am the flea you cannot flick.
- Blast it.
I am Darkwing Duck! You mean you're chopped duck.
Ah-ah-ah! Mustn't play with knives! (both) Whoa-oa-oa-oa! Whoa! (laughs) Huh? Impossible! Ha-ha! The old "falling out of the helicopter" trick works every time.
Ready to go for a little spin? And now to crash.
Not a bad crash.
Launchpad would be proud.
(gorillas vocalizing) That oughta teach him to monkey with Darkwing Duck! Speaking of monkeys, where's Dr.
Bruté? We've got to get going.
(Tarzan yell) Sorry, but I'll be staying behind.
My gorilla family needs me, and I need them.
Yeah.
I understand, really.
Well, gotta mambo, Doc.
Time to get back to the old Whoa! Well, you knew someone had to do it.
# Darkwing Duck! # Darkwing Duck! # Darkwing Duck! # Darkwing Duck! [ Skipped item nr.
339 .]
Three.
two.
one # Darkwing Duck # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck Let's get dangerous.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck! # Cloud of smoke and he appears # A master of surprise # Who's that cunning mind behind # That shadowy disguise? # Nobody knows for sure # But bad guys are out of luck.
'cause here comes - Darkwing Duck - Look out! # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Better watch out.
you bad boys # Darkwing Duck! Nunh-unh.
Impossible! No way! A big fat positive negative! In other words (grunts) no can do! You mean you don't think you'll be able to find the missing ape lady? I mean, I don't think I'll be able to shut this stubborn suitcase! And for your information, Dr.
Bruté is not an ape lady.
She's a famed anthropologist in the employ of SHUSH.
Which is why SHUSH called Darkwing Duck in on the case.
Yee-haw! Never fear, ol' bring-'em-back-alive Gosalyn's here! - Sorry, Gosalyn, you're not going.
- What? - I said you're not going! - No fair! I know more about blood-sucking jungle leeches than anyone.
You are not going, and that's finale, fini.
end of discussion.
(inhales deeply) If you think that's going to change my mind, you are sadly mistaken.
I am unshaken, unmoved, and Unbelievable! This place is totally Tarzan! (Tarzan yell) (apes bellow) Sounds like a pretty tough neighborhood.
Not tough enough for Darkwing Duck.
Especially since SHUSH made sure we have the latest state-of-the-art jungle survival equipment.
For example, this may look like an ordinary coconut.
But it's actually a cleverly disguised bomb.
To explode it, all you have to do is - Twist the top.
- (ticking) Oops.
Here! - Whoa! - Give me that! Now just push that button and I'll toss it out! - This one? - No.
Guess I should have buckled up.
(ticking) Aah! (ticking) (screaming) Well, at least it was a safe landing.
(growling) Um, perhaps I spoke too soon.
Aah! Ouch.
And double ouch.
Hey, are you all right, Dad? Peachy! Now where'd you park the plane? Right over Uh-oh! They're hurting my baby! The natives are getting restless.
Way cool! Gosalyn, get back here! This is better than going to the zoo! Get down here! (Tarzan yell) - (grunts) - (vocalizes) Whatever you do, don't make any sudden moves.
(sniffing) Eat that, and you're dead meat! (roars) Here's a new word for you, Gosalyn.
It's called "diplomacy.
" Learn it.
Hey, knock that off.
(growls) Yeah, this isn't what you think it is.
In fact, it isn't even close.
(screeches) Help! I'm about to become twins! Hey, you, come on (Launchpad) Yaah! (crash) Uh-oh.
Ew! Monkey hairs! Hey, there's writing in here.
"Dr.
Beatrice Bruté, famed anthro anth-ro-po-lo-gist.
" - What?! Do you realize what this means? - Yeah, you're not gonna let me keep it.
It means we found Dr.
Bruté's safari hat.
Now all we have to do is find the rest of her.
Ha! If there is a rest of her (ape screaming) Hmm, I'll bet those apes are responsible for Dr.
Bruté's disappearance.
(Launchpad) That, or they have a thing for hats.
(gunfire) Hit the dirt! (gunfire) (English accent) Blast it! Those monkeys have eluded us again.
Who you calling a monkey? - I'm Darkwing Duck! - Darkwing Duck, eh? - Hmm Prove it! - Certainly.
Watch this! (yells) Ooh-hoo-hoo! Uh-oh.
Not another coconut.
(thud) Hmm, I say That's Darkwing Duck, all right.
So, Major Trenchrot, you say you knew Dr.
Bruté? Like a sister.
In fact, I was so fond of the dear, I was planning to make her a partner in my banana plantation.
But alas, one day whilst I was donating free bananas to those ungrateful apes, they kidnapped her.
And that's the last anyone's seen of the old girl.
(Gosalyn) Hey, Major! What's in here? I-I mean, something, but you can't go in there.
Why? And how come? Because, uh, that's where we peel the bananas, and some of them are quite bashful, you know.
And besides, Gosalyn, we've gotta find those gorillas before Dr.
Bruté's history! No need to find them, they'll find you! Those horrid gorillas attack my plantation every night.
Perfect! Night is my favorite time of day.
Boy, DW, how did you get Gosalyn to go to bed so easily? Launchpad, the secret of being a good parent is letting your child know who's boss.
'Course, offering a ten spot never hurt either.
(grunting) All I need are some bananas for bait and I'll have the perfect gorilla trap.
Uh-oh! (gasps) I thought I told you to stay away from here! From here? Oh, you mean from here! I thought you meant another here, not this here here.
I'll teach you to disobey! Oh! Uhh! Ow! Come on, could be gorillas.
Or very large termites! - Gosalyn? - Trenchrot? I didn't do it! Of course you didn't! - Then just what were you doing? - Trying to catch gorillas? Ha-ha! She was trying to catch gor (grunting) Gee, your trap worked! Too bad DW isn't a gorilla.
Gosalyn! Uh, I think I'm supposed to be in bed.
The audacious avenger, always mindful of menacing misdoers, keeps his senses tuned to the silence of the night.
(gunshots) Gorillas! Oh, Darkwing, just in time.
Those maniacal monkeys are stealing my bananas! Why would they steal bananas when you give them away? Because they're rotten to the core.
They'll take anything that's not nailed down.
Hold it, Trenchrot.
They've got Gosalyn! (panting) No, Dad! Watch out for my gorilla trap.
OK, they've kidnapped Gosalyn and they've kidnapped Dr.
Bruté.
But we'll find those tree-top terrorists.
No one messes with Darkwing Duck and gets away with it! DW, I think there's something you oughta know.
What's that, Launchpad? Launchpad? Buddy? Despite the disconcerting disappearances, the undaunted do-gooder demonstrates his daring by ducking! (apes growling softly) Uh, banana, anyone? Oh, boy! It looks like we may have to fight our way out of this one, DW.
Au contraire.
mon frère.
In a time of crisis, one must remain cool, calm and unflappably civil.
OK, you big baboon! This is your last chance! Where's Gosalyn? OK, so I don't practice what I preach.
I'm a parent, I can get away with it.
(roars) I think he's challenging you, DW.
At least, that's how they do it on Wrestling for Dollars.
Well, then, challenge accepted.
Shpita-hoing boida-hiee muhay hoi-yabay waha! Hoo! Impressed? (thumps) I guess that's a no.
Well, you know what they say - if at first you don't succeed use your head! And if that doesn't work, use something bigger! (crash) Excuse me.
Toodles! At least this time I didn't get clobbered with coconuts.
(woman) Ah! Darkwing Duck, I presume! How delightful! You're just in time for tea! Ooh, and with a slice of banana.
Just how I like it! Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Dr.
Beatrice Bruté.
Nice outfit.
Well, when in Rome do as the Romans.
And when in the jungle, go ape! Ooh-ah-ooh-ah! Care to try it? Darkwing Duck act like a monkey? Sorry! No way! Absolutely, positively not.
(growls) Of course, on second thought How'd that go again? Ooh-ooh-eh-ee-eh Something like that? (Tarzan yell) Hey, Dad, about time you got here! Is this place wild, or what? I'll opt for, "or what"? (Dr.
Brutè) Well, now that we're all here, what say we have a little celebration? Bongo, Congo! Prepare the primate punch! Primate punch? (Dr.
Brutè) A mixture of fresh tropical fruit juices.
I think you'll find it quite refreshing.
Ooh-ooh-ah-ah! Um, thanks.
(gulps) Mmm, that's not bad.
Not bad at all.
(whistle blows) Help.
(screaming) Uh, no, no, no thanks.
He's had enough for both of us.
Forget it, Gosalyn, you're too young to explode.
Besides, we're here to help Dr.
Bruté escape.
I say ooh-ooh-ah! Did I say I need help? No, but you certainly look like you could use some.
Bongo and Congo are helping me, helping me fight that criminal Trenchrot.
If anyone's a criminal it's those apes! They stole Trenchrot's bananas.
Bananas? (vocalizing) Aah! Aah! Aah! Looks like Major Trenchrot certainly pulled the banana peel over your eyes, young man.
(vocalizing) Do these look like bananas? Holy guacamole! - Keen gear! - Yipes! You see, Trenchrot is stockpiling weapons, not bananas.
He wants to turn this island into a playground.
- It would be a good place for a jungle gym.
- Not that kind of playground.
Trenchrot is planning a vacation villa for villains! Hmm, a hotel for hit men, eh? I suppose these weapons are for getting rid of anyone who stands in his way? Wrong! They're door prizes for his first 100 guests.
Unfortunately, before I could contact SHUSH, I got caught snooping.
I'd still be a prisoner at that phony plantation if Bongo hadn't rescued me.
Looks like Trenchrot's made a real monkey out of me! (laughing) Just as I had hoped.
That costumed clown has led us straight to the gorillas' camp.
Now, let's sic 'em, boys! (evil laughter) (shouting) Ha! You can't scare me! After all, there's only four of you and there's (gulps) one of us.
Say cheese.
(all) Cheese! Fools! You let them get away! Oh, well.
They might have escaped this time, but it won't be long until they run out of places to hide.
(laughing) (all laughing) (man) Yeah.
(Brutè gasps) It looks like evil has triumphed once again.
Nonsense! It's not over till it's over.
OK, so maybe we are hopelessly outnumbered.
Out-weaponed and out-everythinged.
- But that's no reason to give up! - You mean you've got a plan? No! But I'm working on one.
Hmm, now let's see Yes! Yes! That's it! Nah, too pedestrian.
Oh! Yes! Nah (gulping) Primate punch? No thanks.
Blowing up irritates my stomach.
Launchpad! You're a genius! What an idea! Thanks, DW.
So what's my idea? What an idea! Soon, the common criminal will be able to live the life of luxury! Vacationing five days and six glorious nights at Trenchrot's Spy Spa and Rabble-Rousers Retreat! Airfare not included! It's time.
Ready my chopper! We begin the final monkey massacre! (bomb whistles) Incoming! Incoming? (thumping) Wow! Primate punch to go! Ready, aim, fire! - Run for it! - (yelling) You cowards! Wait for me.
(screams) I am the terror that flaps in the Hey, I'm-I'm not finished.
(whistles) (grunts) Whoa! Ugh! Now, as I was saying - I am the terror that flaps in the night.
- I am the flea you cannot flick.
- Blast it.
I am Darkwing Duck! You mean you're chopped duck.
Ah-ah-ah! Mustn't play with knives! (both) Whoa-oa-oa-oa! Whoa! (laughs) Huh? Impossible! Ha-ha! The old "falling out of the helicopter" trick works every time.
Ready to go for a little spin? And now to crash.
Not a bad crash.
Launchpad would be proud.
(gorillas vocalizing) That oughta teach him to monkey with Darkwing Duck! Speaking of monkeys, where's Dr.
Bruté? We've got to get going.
(Tarzan yell) Sorry, but I'll be staying behind.
My gorilla family needs me, and I need them.
Yeah.
I understand, really.
Well, gotta mambo, Doc.
Time to get back to the old Whoa! Well, you knew someone had to do it.
# Darkwing Duck! # Darkwing Duck! # Darkwing Duck! # Darkwing Duck! [ Skipped item nr.
339 .]