Doctor Odyssey (2024) s01e06 Episode Script
I Always Cry at Weddings
1
A hospital in New Haven
reporting Connecticut's
first-ever case
of the novel coronavirus.
So, against all odds, I lived,
and because I lived,
I decided that I was gonna
pursue joy at all costs.
Guys, I have an unresponsive patient!
What's going on?
- Bad call, man.
- You're her superior.
You understand,
that's like a fireable offense.
You wanted to talk about
what happened, but
Uh, I mean, I don't have
to talk about what happened.
- Do you want to talk about?
- No, no, no, no, no, I'm good.
- If you're good, I'm good.
- We're great.
- Okay. We're good. Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Good.
- That's good.
♪
Goin' the chapel
and we're gonna get married ♪
Gee, I really love you
and we're gonna get married ♪
Goin' to the chapel of love ♪
♪
Spring is here ♪
The sky is blue, whoa ♪
Birds all sing as if they knew ♪
Today's the day we'll say "I do" ♪
And we'll never be lonely anymore ♪
Because we're goin' to the chapel ♪
- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
- And we're gonna get married ♪
Goin' to the chapel
and we're gonna get married ♪
Goin' to the chapel of love ♪
As I made crystal-clear
my e-mail, Corey,
I wanted fresh peonies
placed in every room
two hours before arrival.
And seeing as this boat is
a buyout for my wedding,
I was shocked when we arrived
and I saw windows open.
Tell me Corey, tell me Corey,
how is the smell
of fresh peonies supposed
to suffuse the air
if the windows are open?
I'm so sorry. Our guests
usually like the fresh air.
I'll see what I can do.
- Thank you.
- Oh, wow!
Hello. [ CHUCKLES ] Oh, wow.
Come lay out with your mama.
I take a load off.
- Baby oil?
- Uh-huh.
What? So I can look like
an old leather tanning boot
before I'm 30?
Pass. You really should try self-tanner.
- I've been telling you.
- [ LAUGHS ]
I don't spray. I lay.
30 years of cruising.
Mama knows how to get a tan.
♪
- I'm getting married!
- [ GIGGLES ]
[ WOMEN SQUEALING ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
♪
[ LIVELY, INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
Alright, give it up
for the best man, Bennet.
- [ MICROPHONE FEEDBACK SQUEALS ]
- Hey, everyone.
So this dude, Eric, has been my
best friend since seventh grade,
and he is very nervous
that I'm gonna say
something embarrassing,
like, uh, how many girls
he slept with at Sig Alph.
But I'm not gonna do that
'cause it was way too many to count.
- [ LAUGHTER ]
- Way too many!
- But seriously
- [ SOFTLY ] Make him shut up.
He's just messing around.
- Eric, it's embarrassing.
- It's not true.
- Come on.
- It's not funny either.
- Hey, come on, it's fine.
- had a stutter when we
- Where's Mom?
- He helped me through it.
- This is the welcome dinner.
- She's just missing it.
- And he bought me a house.
- I don't have great credit.
[ CHUCKLES ]
Are you crying, Cap?
No.
Maybe.
So what if I am?
I'm a sucker for love.
These antiquated mating rituals are not
about love anymore.
They're about money,
and Instagram likes,
and making your single friends jealous.
Look at them all. They're miserable.
- Especially the bride and groom.
- I don't know,
I always thought my wedding day
- Well, never mind.
- Say it.
No, no. You made yourself
abundantly clear.
You're just gonna make fun of me.
[ GASPS ]
Okay, fine. I always thought
my wedding day
would be the proudest day of my life.
Didn't the president give you an award
for saving infants with club feet?
Cleft palates. And it was
the UN secretary general.
I'd like to get married
one day, have a big family.
Six little Tristan's running around.
- Oh, can't you picture it?
- That's an admirable goal.
- The world needs more love.
- Lots of love.
All different kinds of love. I'm for it.
What's so wrong about celebrating it?
I love you, Eric.
I really do.
And I'm not going anywhere.
- Cheers, everyone! Yeah! Cheers!
- Cheers!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
Where is Mom?
This is insane.
I don't know. You just
try to enjoy yourself.
Alright?
[ APPLAUSE CONTINUES ]
♪
[ WATCHES CHIMING ]
♪
It's an extreme sunburn.
Second degree burns,
blistering on both of her limbs.
Sleepy Sun Syndrome.
We've seen it a thousand times.
- [ GROANING ]
- But never like this.
[ GROANS ]
Oh, sweet mother of
The bride. [ CRYING ]
Mother of the bride!
The ceremony's in in three
days. You have to help me.
Deep breaths, Ellen.
Let's give her four of morphine,
a tetanus shot,
and hang some Lactated Ringer's.
It just doesn't make sense.
I never burn. I live in South Florida.
I know how to lay out.
Are you on any new medications
- or maybe a new skincare routine?
- I I don't know.
I started on some antibiotic
crap a couple of weeks ago.
- Doxycycline?
- Doxy what? Who?
I'm not a scientist.
It's for my rosacea.
I didn't want to look red
in the pictures.
- Well
- Tetracycline antibiotics
can cause severe photosensitivity.
It's like developing
an allergy to the sun.
Oh, Jesus wept. Just
stick me with an EpiPen.
I have to look good for this wedding.
Yes, ma'am. We're gonna
give you something for the pain,
something to reduce the inflammation,
- and these blisters
- Watch it!
are going rupture and peel.
Oh, well, this is gonna ruin everything.
Ms. Parsons, I don't want you to worry.
We here on The Odyssey
are experts in sunburn care.
And I bet that somewhere
under that redness,
there is a beautiful golden Riviera tan
- just waiting to be set free.
- Oh, Lord, I hope so,
'cause that girl is gonna cook my goose
if I show up looking like this.
[ WATCHES CHIMING ]
♪
[ MUFFLED, INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]
- Please don't come in!
- No, don't listen to her!
Please. Just come in.
Thank you. Come on in.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God.
- Please don't look.
- You're okay, you're okay.
Everything's fine. Just
talk to me. What's going on?
- His thing is stuck and won't come out.
- She won't let me out, right?
So it closed like a bear trap
on me, and it's
- And it's been like this for a while.
- Okay.
Deep breaths, both of you.
What you are experiencing is a condition
- called penis captivus.
- What? Penis what?
Captivus. It's a stress response.
The vaginal muscle spasms
and firmly closes.
If the penis remains engorged,
it can exacerbate the situation.
Just give us one second.
[ SOFTLY ] Um, so we need to
get her to relax.
But the more she tries,
the worse this is gonna get.
We gotta get her to focus
on something else.
Having an audience isn't helping.
I have an idea.
There should be an endoscopic
balloon dilator in the triage bag.
- That's a great idea.
- Manual separation.
Very good.
Maybe you can cue up one of those famous
long-winded Max Bankman stories,
just for good measure.
- Deyja.
- Yes.
This device is called
a balloon catheter.
I want you to gently insert
this end as best as you can.
- Okay?
- Oh, my God
And I am going to
slowly inflate the balloon
and try to coax
the vaginal walls to open.
Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing.
It's probably the stupidest thing
you've ever seen
in your whole life, huh?
Nothing to be embarrassed about it.
Let me tell you
about something embarrassing.
So when I was a kid,
I loved to play Ding Dong Ditch.
You know that game
where you push the doorbell
- and you run away?
- Yeah, sure.
Okay, so this one time,
I'm nine years old.
Push the doorbell. I'm running away.
Just about to turn the corner,
and I see these two cops,
their shadows are there on the pavement.
Big dudes, flat tops,
the whole nine yards.
And I'm terrified.
My heart is in my throat
and I just know, "Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God, oh,
my God, my life is over.
These guys are gonna bust me."
So I'm looking around,
where am I gonna go?
And I see the alley
and I think, "This is it.
This is my chance to escape."
So I screw up all of my courage.
I take one step and, boom,
all the lights come on.
Klieg lights everywhere.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
And I turn around knowing I'm busted.
- And
- What?
- What happened?
- No cops.
Just two brooms
laying up against the fence.
- Two brooms?
- [ CHUCKLES ]
- There was nobody even in the house.
- Oh!
- Wasn't even anybody home.
- Oh! Oh, my God.
- Oh! Hey! Hey, it's out.
- There it is. It is out.
- Oh, my gosh. Thank you.
- Oh, hey.
But can I get, like,
your Instagram handle
- just so we can?
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, uh, thanks, doc.
♪
Hey, Bennet, uh, can I see you
down in the infirmary?
Just for a quick follow up?
Yeah. Sure, man. Thanks.
Okay. What is going on?
You look properly bugged out,
and that looks like
garden variety eczema.
It's not.
Bennet, are you familiar with
Trichophyton mentagrophytes type VII?
No.
Well, commonly known as ringworm,
it's usually a
garden variety fungal infection,
nothing to be worried about,
but there is a rare strain
spread through skin-to-skin contact
that I saw while I was in Africa.
And if it's left untreated,
it can have some pretty serious
symptoms, including blindness.
The good news is
because we caught it early,
cultured it to be exactly sure,
yours will not be left untreated.
- There's a drug.
- The bad news is
we don't have it on hand, but
we can get it at the next port.
In the meantime, I'm gonna give
you some clotrimazole cream
that'll bring down
the itchiness and redness.
- Okay.
- And, uh, mate.
No more pulling tail.
That's what weddings are for. Thank you.
No, no, no, this this strain
is highly, highly contagious.
Anyone that you've had
sexual contact with
is gonna need to be alerted,
including Deyja.
We can do it on your behalf,
if you'd prefer.
I'm fine. I, uh I'm
not a complete jackass.
I'll handle it. Thank you.
♪
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
Look at all these happy wedding guests.
Marriage causes nothing but agony.
- I stand by it.
- Come on.
You have never wanted to fall in love?
I thought about it. Once.
And? What changed your mind?
♪
I went through with it.
You Wait, hold on.
You? You were married?
Yes, yes. Shh, shh. For
the briefest of moments.
This does not leave this circle.
Of course. Your secret's safe with me.
So long as you tell me
all the scintillating details.
Scintillating it was not.
It was a depressingly short story.
Even better. I'm a very busy
doctor, as you can see.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I had known Kevin since kindergarten,
and he was funny and charming
easy.
And after graduation,
we fell into a routine
hanging with the same crew
from high school,
weekends drinking beers
in Tessa Matsumoto's garage.
And I thought, "Okay, we'll
just keep doing this forever.
Cool. Get married? Why the heck not?"
- But?
- But on our honeymoon,
his phone kept blowing up.
He was in the shower,
and with one little peek,
everything I thought
I knew about this person
- went up in smoke.
- No
- Wait. Not
- Tessa Matsumoto. Yeah.
- The one and only.
- Aw, man. That sucks.
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, don't be. I'm very over it.
It led me to reevaluate my life,
and it inspired me
to make a bucket list.
And the first thing on it
was to see the world,
and that's why I took this job.
What else is on that bucket list?
♪
- I'll never tell.
- Oh, come on.
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
Well, I for one, I'm glad you're here.
And to hell with Kevin
and Tessa Matsumoto.
- They just had triplets.
- Oof.
- Karma is the best.
- [ LAUGHS ]
[ WATCHES CHIMING ]
[ GROANS ]
Does it ever abate, even for a second?
Nope. Let's go.
♪
[ SOBBING ] Get out! You're not
supposed to see me like this!
- Just relax, alright?
- Get out!
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
[ SIGHS ] Just promise
you'll take care of her, yeah?
♪
- [ VOMITS, COUGHING ]
- Oh, thank God you're here.
She's She's having some
kind of episode. Jitters maybe.
- This is to monitor your vitals.
- [ WEAKLY ] It's not jitters, mama.
- [ GROANS, VOMITS ]
- Oh, come on, baby girl. Get it all out.
Alright. Let me take a look.
Fever.
Diaphoretic.
Jaundice of the eyes.
You mind leaning back for me?
- [ GROANS ] Oh.
- Oh
- Oh!
- Oh, my mm.
It looks like pancreatitis.
- Oh, my God.
- Are you on any medications?
Oh, dear God.
You don't understand.
My dress, it's um
it's a vintage Vera Wang.
- It's a size two.
- She's been taking
that "Oz-lympic"
or whatever it's called.
You know, the s-skinny girl drug.
I told her back in my day,
the way we fit into our dresses
was the old-fashioned way
Laxatives, prunes, and prayers.
This dress, it's just, mm,
it's a one of a kind,
and it can't be altered.
And still won't zip, so last week,
I doubled the dose just to get
the last few pounds
Doubled?
Miss,
I need you to come with me right now.
Are you okay to walk, or
would you prefer a wheelchair?
Where are you taking her?
Your daughter needs IV fluids,
antibiotics,
- and possibly a CT scan.
- Whoa, fluids? Yeah, no, no, no.
I'll bloat. I can't do that.
But the rehearsal's tomorrow morning.
Ma'am, your daughter is at
serious risk of liver failure.
So unless you want this wedding
to turn into a funeral,
I need to admit her until I see a
marked improvement in her health.
[ VOMITS ]
How tall are you?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
You ready?
Cue music!
Sorry.
[ WAGNER'S "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING ]
Okay. And we're moving.
We're moving. Come on.
And we're walking. Let's go, let's go.
Okay. Good, good, good.
Oh, you two look great.
Okay. Do you know what to do over here?
Where's my chair?
- H-Housekeeping!
- Sorry, Mrs. Parsons.
- Thank you.
- So, if you go there.
- Thanks.
- If you'll excuse me.
- Alright.
- Let's keep space between you.
Now, keep going. This is it.
Fantastic, guys.
That's the way I want it.
Keep going, guys. This is great. Wow.
She makes such a beautiful
bride, don't you think?
Oh, my God, that's not the bride.
- [ LAUGHS ]
- Sorry. You're daughter's
- This is a rehearsal!
- Right.
The bride and groom
need to know their marks
because she's recuperating,
and I couldn't
I couldn't let the
the groom walk down here
with some stranger 'cause it's bad luck.
So we will play the video back
so they'll see
where they're supposed to go.
[ CHUCKLES ]
- Honey.
- Hi.
♪
Shh!
Okay, vows. Yada, yada, yada.
Uh, as long as you both shall live.
- Uh, in sickness and in health.
- Oh. Absolutely not.
One sniffle and
I'm running away with Felipe.
- [ GASPS DRAMATICALLY ]
- The pool boy? How dare you?
And by the powers vested in
me by Poseidon and Davy Jones,
you may kiss the bride.
- Ah! I object!
- [ LAUGHS ]
- Oh, please.
- Sorry.
I've always wanted to do that
for the drama.
- Let's celebrate ♪
- Hey!
Come on! Whoo!
- [ SIGHS ]
- Let's celebrate ♪
Yeah, well, this is this
is over for the rehearsal.
The The wedding hasn't even started.
Don't you know this is
just a fake wedding?
You people are so stupid.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
Excuse me. Excuse me.
♪
Hey, doc, um
Hey, you think, uh
[ SNIFFLES ]
we could, uh, have a word?
♪
- Of course.
- Thank you.
It started to show up a few days ago.
You seen it before, doc?
Yeah. Actually,
I have seen that before.
♪
[ SIGHS ] Oh, God.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ] Oh, I don't
know what I'm gonna do, man.
Lisa hasn't wanted to mess
around because of the, you know,
all the wedding stuff, but with
the honeymoon coming up
Man, she's gonna find out everything.
- I just don't know what to do.
- Hey. Eric, slow down.
What's "everything"?
Let me get to know you
a little bit, okay?
[ SIGHS ]
You said on your intake form
that you've had one partner
in the last 30 days.
- You've been tested for STIs
- Oh, stop, stop.
♪
I come in here and you
you ask me to fill out a
a chart on your iPad
on how many drinks I have and how
many how many sexual partners,
and you think you
could know me from that?
I mean It's all a lie, man.
All of this is a lie.
My whole life is a lie.
Eric, I got into this line of work
so I could help people with problems,
not to judge them for it.
But I can only help you
if you'll tell me the truth.
[ SNIFFLES ]
♪
I'm not a good person.
♪
I'm really not.
♪
How many partners have
you had in the last 30 days?
♪
A lot.
There's something inside me, man.
This This This darkness.
- Eric
- Eric. I mean I mean,
Eric, he's just
Whew.
He's gone, man.
He's totally gone.
[ GROANS, SNIFFLES ]
Eric
what you're describing is addiction.
- No.
- Sex addiction,
which is a disease, and it's very real.
And the good news is, because
it's a disease, it's treatable.
There are solutions.
And what you're doing right
What you're doing right now,
talking about it,
is by far the hardest part.
You know, I I saw you guys out there.
You and her.
I mean, what you guys have is real.
Anybody can see that.
But me and Lisa?
It's just all a facade, man.
It's all a game.
Just this whole thing.
[ CRYING ] Everything is not real.
It's all a game. It's all fake.
- I I gotta go, doc, please.
- No.
- I gotta go. I feel trapped.
- You're having a panic attack,
and I'd like to give you
something for the anxiety, okay?
- I don't want to die here, man.
- You're not gonna die, okay?
I want to give you something
for the anxiety,
but I need your consent.
- Is that okay with you?
- Mm-hmm.
Yes? Okay.
I'd like to give you some lorazepam.
- Just take a seat.
- Alright.
First thing I want you to do
is just breathe.
Just see if you can breathe.
I'm right here. Just listen to my voice.
And try to breathe.
- Try to breathe.
- [ BREATHLESSLY ] Okay.
Now lean back.
- Eric
- Yeah?
I have seen bad things,
real bad things,
- and this is not one of them.
- Okay.
Nobody bleeds. Nobody dies.
You're gonna be okay.
Nobody dies. It's all good.
Nobody dies. Nobody dies.
Nobody dies. Nobody dies. Nobody dies.
Okay, let's start with what we know.
First, the best man presents
with symptoms of ringworm.
Which is spread by close,
sustained skin-to-skin contact.
Which he probably gave to every
bridesmaid and sexual partner
he's had in the past two to three weeks.
And then the groom presents
with the same sentence symptoms.
So he's sleeping with his best man.
Or he's sleeping with someone
who slept with the best man.
Or they both independently
contracted the same
very rare strain of ringworm.
Right, in this case,
if it walks like a duck
and talks like a duck, it's probably
A duck having a gay affair
with his best man.
We need to disclose
to the bride immediately.
We can't do that.
HIPAA protects his right to privacy.
We have to give him
the option to disclose.
He's not in any condition to.
Not tonight, but he will be.
So for now, we say nothing.
We don't tell anything to anyone.
Then tomorrow morning,
I'll have a talk with him
and I'll remind him
of his responsibilities.
- If he refuses?
- [ CELLPHONE VIBRATING ]
Then I'll tell her myself.
- Tristan.
- Before the wedding.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- That's fair. That's responsible.
It appears that fate has made
this particular decision for us.
[ GROANS ] I can't believe
this is happening.
The wedding is in 18 hours and this
thing just appeared.
We We think it's probably
just stress, you know,
- nerves and things, right?
- It's not that bad, right?
I think that might be a fungal rash.
- No. Mom!
- Hush!
I need to do some more investigation,
but in the meantime,
we can put a cream on it,
bring down the inflammation.
Yes. Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.
That's good. Slather it on me.
I need this thing gone. Gone.
I also have it on my back
and my inner thigh.
Good Lord.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
Thank you.
[ EXHALES SLOWLY ]
- Okay.
- You know
if you're
having reservations, it's not too late.
- What are you talking about?
- Well, reactions this intense
the night before a wedding,
it might be a sign that perhaps
this isn't what you want.
♪
I was married once,
and walking down the aisle,
I had this gut feeling,
and I ignored it.
And it turns out that my
my body knew something
that my mind didn't,
and I wish that I had listened.
Mm. It hurts, doesn't it?
The lotion? Yeah. It can sting a little.
No, no, I mean, it must really hurt
watching another woman succeed
where you failed.
Anyway, um, I can handle this.
I got this from here.
I know you guys have a lot going on,
and I don't want to keep you, so
Have a good night.
♪
You know what? You're right.
You and Eric are a perfect match.
Good luck tomorrow.
Aww, that is so sweet, Lisa.
Thank y'all for taking
such good care of my baby girl.
Oh, and look, my Riviera tan, doc.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ SIGHS ]
♪
I did my best to notice ♪
When the call came down the line ♪
Up to the platform of surrender ♪
I was brought, but I was kind ♪
And sometimes I get nervous ♪
When I see an open door ♪
Close your eyes ♪
Clear your heart ♪
♪
Cut the cord ♪
Are we human ♪
Or are we dancer? ♪
My sign is vital ♪
My hands are cold ♪
And I'm on my knees ♪
Looking for the answer ♪
Are we human ♪
Or are we dancer? ♪
Mm ♪
Pay my respects to grace and virtue ♪
Send my condolences to good ♪
Give my regards to soul and romance ♪
They always did the best they could ♪
And so long to devotion ♪
You taught me everything I know ♪
Wave goodbye ♪
Wish me well ♪
[ WAVES CRASHING IN DISTANCE ]
You've gotta let me go ♪
Are we human ♪
Or are we dancer? ♪
My sign is vital ♪
My hands are cold ♪
And I'm on my knees ♪
Looking for the answer ♪
Are we human ♪
Or are we dancer? ♪
Mm ♪
[ WAVES CRASHING ]
[ INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES ]
♪
[ ALARM BLARING ]
MAN: Code Alpha. Code Alpha.
All crews to Alpha stations.
Guests, please return
to your cabins.
Code Alpha. Code Alpha.
All crews to Alpha stations.
Guests, please return
to your cabins.
♪
He left this, sir.
[ SIGHS HEAVILY ]
Alright, can somebody tell me
how $150,000
man-overboard detection system
does not detect
a man going overboard?!
Unfortunately, sir, it's
not a foolproof system.
It relies on camera feed
to detect motion.
Our working theory is
that his black tuxedo at night
didn't register as movement.
Well, that's
a damn failed system, isn't it?
- Yes, sir.
- How long ago did he jump?
- 8 hours, 26 minutes, sir.
- Rosie, at full throttle,
how quickly can you get us
back in that vicinity?
I can shave off a few hours, but, sir,
we were cruising at 24 knots last night.
He jumped from a height of 97 feet.
At that velocity, the water
might as well be concrete.
It is our policy on The Odyssey
to give our guests the absolute best.
And in difficult situations,
the best I can offer you is honesty.
Last night Eric Colby went overboard
- from the upper leisure deck.
- What?
We were unaware of this
incident until this morning.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
So y Send someone out there, man.
You go go get him. Right?
Do you have someone out there
g-going to look for him, or wh
We've dispatched several rescue boats,
and we've sent a distress signal
to every floating vessel
for 1,000 nautical miles.
Everything that can be done
is being done, I assure you.
Okay, but he can swim, so he's alive.
So he's he's down there s
[ BREATHING RAPIDLY ]
He's alive, right?
♪
Oh, God. No.
We are always prepared
for any eventualities.
Now, at the request
of Eric's family and loved ones,
we are returning to our home port
while we allow those vehicles
that are best equipped
to continue the search
and recovery of Eric Colby.
♪
Now, I know we're
we're all far from our home
cities and civilizations
♪
but here on The Odyssey
you are never alone.
We are one ship.
The medical team is standing by
to offer you counseling,
I encourage you, lean on them,
lean on me
lean on each other.
♪
I think I was like, eight or nine,
and it was the night before Easter.
I snuck down to my playroom
because I heard voices.
I thought it was the Easter Bunny.
It wasn't.
It was Dad and
his publicist
on the day bed
naked.
The next morning, Mama was hosting
this big thing with everyone
from church and the club,
and she had these white
calla lilies everywhere.
And it was perfect.
I told her what I saw, and
her smile did not falter
for a second.
She knew. She just said, "Baby girl,
sometimes you gotta make things better
to make things better."
So you were aware
that Eric was being unfaithful?
Mm.
I just didn't know
how to fix my relationship.
But I thought that if I could
make things perfect
for a day, just a day
that, um, maybe things
would just fall into place.
Maybe it would
Maybe it would be perfect.
- And Bennet?
- [ SIGHS ] You know about that?
He and Eric were intimate?
- Eric was bi?
- What?
No. No.
Eric wasn't sleeping with Bennet.
♪
I was.
We all went to Duke together, and
♪
I liked Bennet.
He was
He was funny, charming.
But Eric
Eric was
Eric was marriage material.
♪
But I knew, you know?
I knew that he
♪
He really struggled.
He really suffered with mental health.
But I just pushed right on
through because
♪
because I wanted to get married.
♪
[ CRYING ] I wanted the dream.
♪
- This is all my fault, isn't it?
- No.
We all go through relationship troubles
one way or the other,
but in the case of suicide,
there are just so many other variables.
Pre-existing emotional trauma.
There are genetic factors at play.
No. [ SNIFFLES ] Genetic?
That's the answer?
Genetic? No.
No. I don't understand. [ SNIFFLES ]
I need to understand.
[ CRYING ]
♪
Hi, Mom.
Baby girl.
I've been on the bridge
all morning waiting for news.
A call came in from
the Mexican Coast Guard.
A body washed up
somewhere south of Acapulco.
[ VOICE BREAKING ] No.
- [ VOICE BREAKING ]
- They think it's him.
[ CRYING ]
I want you to go up to my
room and get under the covers.
- Okay.
- I just have
two quick words for these doctors.
Okay.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
I'm sorry.
I know I've been
an evil sea witch all week,
and
y'all didn't deserve that.
I just love that girl so much.
He was a troubled boy, and I knew that,
I was concerned about that
but Lisa wanted this wedding
here on this ship, so I
I just pretended my fears away.
[ CRYING ]
That was wrong.
I should have done something.
I should've I should've stepped in
and said, "Something is wrong
here and we need to discuss it,
deal with it, we need to help this boy."
But I didn't, and
and now it's too late,
and I'll never forgive myself.
Oh!
♪
Thank you.
♪
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
[ KNOCKING ]
- Good evening.
- It's 1:30 in the morning.
- What do you want?
- I can't sleep.
Fancy a little
kitchen raid?
Don't mind if I do.
Ah.
♪
Hmm.
♪
[ GASPS ]
Oh!
- Really?
- What?
She said she was gonna
throw it out. I heard her.
- Really?
- I'm sorry.
Disrespectful. Tristan.
- It's really good.
- What if this was your wedding?
♪
- [ SNORTS ]
- [ CHUCKLES ]
Well, that would be awful.
I mean, even worse
if they were to do this.
[ GASPS, LAUGHS ]
- What is going on here?
- [ MUFFLED ] She started it.
The only excuse
for conduct this unprofessional
would be if you paired it
with a nice bottle of champagne.
- Oh.
- I'm glad I found you both here,
because you're actually
not off the clock yet.
I have one more piece of business.
If there is any silver lining
to be found from this week's tragedies,
it's that it gives us
a chance to take stock of life,
of what's important to us.
So inspired by our
very own Avery Morgan,
I have an assignment
bucket lists.
I want you to give me five life goals,
and then I want to make
a pact right here tonight
that we're all going to help
each other achieve them.
Mm.
- I'm game.
- Okay. Me too.
- [ CHUCKLES ]
- Excellent.
Ah-ah-ah. Wait, Dr. Odyssey.
I have the perfect place for this.
Come.
♪
Okay. Bucket item list number one.
- Bucket list item number one.
- [ LAUGHS ]
I'm drunk. Wow. Learn how to kitesurf.
Number two, break a world record.
- For kitesurfing?
- Uh, no. For anything.
You could do most spoons
hung on your face.
- What?
- It's a real one. [ LAUGHS ]
Three, I want a dog,
you know, and a house on the beach,
with enough room for him to run in
and where I can surf every day.
Four
♪
I want to fall in love, you know?
Like a "forever in love," and
get married.
With six little Tristans running around?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, five, okay.
Before the dog, before
the marriage, before the kids
[ CHUCKLES ]
have a three way.
You've never had a three way?
You literally have a girl at every port.
Well,
they're really difficult to organize.
- [ CHUCKLES ]
- People
People get drunk,
they pass out, they get cold feet.
- I don't know. Mm?
- Tristan.
Thank you. That was very well shared.
- Thanks, doc.
- Ms. Morgan.
- Mm?
- Your turn.
Mhm. Okay, but I'm cold.
- Can we walk?
- Yes, of course. Oh.
- Snacks.
- Snacks.
Well, you already know my first one,
- to see the world, which I have.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- Second, I want to be a doctor.
Well, you're already
on your way to that one.
Thank you. Both.
- Seriously.
- Oh. Snacks.
- And third
- [ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ]
I want
- to know myself.
- To know yourself?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
Alright. I'll accept that.
- Next
- Mm-hmm?
And, okay, no making fun of me.
♪
- I want to perform.
- Perform?
Yeah. I used to go
to theater camp as a kid
and do plays and musicals,
and it was freeing and fun.
And then one day around puberty,
it was suddenly terrifying
and not so fun, so I stopped.
But I don't know, I think
I think underneath the fear
there's joy
and I want to try it again.
Be bold.
At least once.
- I like that one.
- Okay. What's the last one?
Oh, was that not five?
- Uh, no. No, it was not.
- Oh. Um
I guess I'll steal Tristan's
threesome, baby.
- Oh, wow.
- [ LAUGHTER ]
- Another threesome.
- Let's go.
- Uh, I am almost out.
- Me too.
To the Pelican deck!
[ CHUCKLING ] Uh, what?
This is your room?
They gave you a suite?
Come on. Is this a sofa?
I mean, do you even use this?
Of course I do. It's where
I sit down to put on my socks.
Huh. A sofa to put socks on.
That is going on my bucket list.
- Kitesurfing can do one.
- [ CORK POPS ]
Oh. Dr. Odyssey,
I believe it is your turn.
- Go.
- Right. Yes.
- [ MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY ]
- Bucket item number one
I wanted to see the world,
or at least a new side of it,
- and here I am, voilà.
- Ah.
Uh
- Thank you.
- item number two
most welcome hmm
I would like to fall in love
and have kids,
teach them to be self-reliant.
We're so dependent upon technology
and convenience these days.
I wanna teach them
to rely on themselves.
[ TRISTAN AND AVERY CHUCKLE SOFTLY ]
Don't mind if I do.
That's a good one.
♪
Alright. Two more.
I would like
for my life to have meaning.
♪
It's so quick, you know?
It's just like a little pebble dropped
into a pond and then gone forever.
[ INHALES SLOWLY ]
But just like a pebble,
there are ripples,
and I want my ripples to mean something.
[ CHUCKLES ] God, you guys
are both so boring.
- Sorry. Grown-up.
- [ CHUCKLES ]
Alright, it's fair.
But last one, please
come up with something fun.
♪
I can't think of anything.
Yes, you can! Oh, come on. You
Okay. Hold on, hold on.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
- [ LAUGHS ]
- Okay.
I'm sorry. I'll get back.
Just let me think about it!
Oh, you're stalling!
This is a safe place, Dr. Odyssey.
You You can tell us
if it's a threesome.
Actually, that particular box
has been checked.
- [ CHUCKLING ] Oh, what?
- Oh!
Out with it. Every detail.
I'm a little insulted
that you're both so surprised.
I was kind of a hot ticket in college.
Ha, yeah. Good one.
I mean, that wasn't
enough of a hot ticket
'cause ultimately they were way
more interested in each other
than they were in me.
I was more of an audience member
than I was a participant.
Oh. Two girls? A girl and a guy?
Sadly, the rest of the details
will have to remain a mystery.
I made a pact. I am sworn to secrecy,
and I am very good friends
with both of them to this day.
- Yeah. That tracks.
- So the final
The final bucket list item
have a good threesome.
[ CHUCKLES ]
Okay, fine.
I'll give up learning French for that.
Have a good threesome. Here, here.
(ALL) Cheers.
♪
Tryna get you into frame ♪
Mm.
I mean, I'm game.
Wouldn't it be something? ♪
- Yeah, right, Avery.
- [ CHUCKLES ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
What?
And we do not feel the same ♪
It's on of all our
lists.
♪
I force the stars to align ♪
To settle ♪
And all I got was trouble ♪
Trouble ♪
♪
I forced the stars to align ♪
To settle ♪
And all I got was trouble ♪
Trouble ♪
And all I got was trouble ♪
Trouble ♪
♪
A hospital in New Haven
reporting Connecticut's
first-ever case
of the novel coronavirus.
So, against all odds, I lived,
and because I lived,
I decided that I was gonna
pursue joy at all costs.
Guys, I have an unresponsive patient!
What's going on?
- Bad call, man.
- You're her superior.
You understand,
that's like a fireable offense.
You wanted to talk about
what happened, but
Uh, I mean, I don't have
to talk about what happened.
- Do you want to talk about?
- No, no, no, no, no, I'm good.
- If you're good, I'm good.
- We're great.
- Okay. We're good. Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Good.
- That's good.
♪
Goin' the chapel
and we're gonna get married ♪
Gee, I really love you
and we're gonna get married ♪
Goin' to the chapel of love ♪
♪
Spring is here ♪
The sky is blue, whoa ♪
Birds all sing as if they knew ♪
Today's the day we'll say "I do" ♪
And we'll never be lonely anymore ♪
Because we're goin' to the chapel ♪
- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
- And we're gonna get married ♪
Goin' to the chapel
and we're gonna get married ♪
Goin' to the chapel of love ♪
As I made crystal-clear
my e-mail, Corey,
I wanted fresh peonies
placed in every room
two hours before arrival.
And seeing as this boat is
a buyout for my wedding,
I was shocked when we arrived
and I saw windows open.
Tell me Corey, tell me Corey,
how is the smell
of fresh peonies supposed
to suffuse the air
if the windows are open?
I'm so sorry. Our guests
usually like the fresh air.
I'll see what I can do.
- Thank you.
- Oh, wow!
Hello. [ CHUCKLES ] Oh, wow.
Come lay out with your mama.
I take a load off.
- Baby oil?
- Uh-huh.
What? So I can look like
an old leather tanning boot
before I'm 30?
Pass. You really should try self-tanner.
- I've been telling you.
- [ LAUGHS ]
I don't spray. I lay.
30 years of cruising.
Mama knows how to get a tan.
♪
- I'm getting married!
- [ GIGGLES ]
[ WOMEN SQUEALING ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
♪
[ LIVELY, INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
Alright, give it up
for the best man, Bennet.
- [ MICROPHONE FEEDBACK SQUEALS ]
- Hey, everyone.
So this dude, Eric, has been my
best friend since seventh grade,
and he is very nervous
that I'm gonna say
something embarrassing,
like, uh, how many girls
he slept with at Sig Alph.
But I'm not gonna do that
'cause it was way too many to count.
- [ LAUGHTER ]
- Way too many!
- But seriously
- [ SOFTLY ] Make him shut up.
He's just messing around.
- Eric, it's embarrassing.
- It's not true.
- Come on.
- It's not funny either.
- Hey, come on, it's fine.
- had a stutter when we
- Where's Mom?
- He helped me through it.
- This is the welcome dinner.
- She's just missing it.
- And he bought me a house.
- I don't have great credit.
[ CHUCKLES ]
Are you crying, Cap?
No.
Maybe.
So what if I am?
I'm a sucker for love.
These antiquated mating rituals are not
about love anymore.
They're about money,
and Instagram likes,
and making your single friends jealous.
Look at them all. They're miserable.
- Especially the bride and groom.
- I don't know,
I always thought my wedding day
- Well, never mind.
- Say it.
No, no. You made yourself
abundantly clear.
You're just gonna make fun of me.
[ GASPS ]
Okay, fine. I always thought
my wedding day
would be the proudest day of my life.
Didn't the president give you an award
for saving infants with club feet?
Cleft palates. And it was
the UN secretary general.
I'd like to get married
one day, have a big family.
Six little Tristan's running around.
- Oh, can't you picture it?
- That's an admirable goal.
- The world needs more love.
- Lots of love.
All different kinds of love. I'm for it.
What's so wrong about celebrating it?
I love you, Eric.
I really do.
And I'm not going anywhere.
- Cheers, everyone! Yeah! Cheers!
- Cheers!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪
Where is Mom?
This is insane.
I don't know. You just
try to enjoy yourself.
Alright?
[ APPLAUSE CONTINUES ]
♪
[ WATCHES CHIMING ]
♪
It's an extreme sunburn.
Second degree burns,
blistering on both of her limbs.
Sleepy Sun Syndrome.
We've seen it a thousand times.
- [ GROANING ]
- But never like this.
[ GROANS ]
Oh, sweet mother of
The bride. [ CRYING ]
Mother of the bride!
The ceremony's in in three
days. You have to help me.
Deep breaths, Ellen.
Let's give her four of morphine,
a tetanus shot,
and hang some Lactated Ringer's.
It just doesn't make sense.
I never burn. I live in South Florida.
I know how to lay out.
Are you on any new medications
- or maybe a new skincare routine?
- I I don't know.
I started on some antibiotic
crap a couple of weeks ago.
- Doxycycline?
- Doxy what? Who?
I'm not a scientist.
It's for my rosacea.
I didn't want to look red
in the pictures.
- Well
- Tetracycline antibiotics
can cause severe photosensitivity.
It's like developing
an allergy to the sun.
Oh, Jesus wept. Just
stick me with an EpiPen.
I have to look good for this wedding.
Yes, ma'am. We're gonna
give you something for the pain,
something to reduce the inflammation,
- and these blisters
- Watch it!
are going rupture and peel.
Oh, well, this is gonna ruin everything.
Ms. Parsons, I don't want you to worry.
We here on The Odyssey
are experts in sunburn care.
And I bet that somewhere
under that redness,
there is a beautiful golden Riviera tan
- just waiting to be set free.
- Oh, Lord, I hope so,
'cause that girl is gonna cook my goose
if I show up looking like this.
[ WATCHES CHIMING ]
♪
[ MUFFLED, INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]
- Please don't come in!
- No, don't listen to her!
Please. Just come in.
Thank you. Come on in.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God.
- Please don't look.
- You're okay, you're okay.
Everything's fine. Just
talk to me. What's going on?
- His thing is stuck and won't come out.
- She won't let me out, right?
So it closed like a bear trap
on me, and it's
- And it's been like this for a while.
- Okay.
Deep breaths, both of you.
What you are experiencing is a condition
- called penis captivus.
- What? Penis what?
Captivus. It's a stress response.
The vaginal muscle spasms
and firmly closes.
If the penis remains engorged,
it can exacerbate the situation.
Just give us one second.
[ SOFTLY ] Um, so we need to
get her to relax.
But the more she tries,
the worse this is gonna get.
We gotta get her to focus
on something else.
Having an audience isn't helping.
I have an idea.
There should be an endoscopic
balloon dilator in the triage bag.
- That's a great idea.
- Manual separation.
Very good.
Maybe you can cue up one of those famous
long-winded Max Bankman stories,
just for good measure.
- Deyja.
- Yes.
This device is called
a balloon catheter.
I want you to gently insert
this end as best as you can.
- Okay?
- Oh, my God
And I am going to
slowly inflate the balloon
and try to coax
the vaginal walls to open.
Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing.
It's probably the stupidest thing
you've ever seen
in your whole life, huh?
Nothing to be embarrassed about it.
Let me tell you
about something embarrassing.
So when I was a kid,
I loved to play Ding Dong Ditch.
You know that game
where you push the doorbell
- and you run away?
- Yeah, sure.
Okay, so this one time,
I'm nine years old.
Push the doorbell. I'm running away.
Just about to turn the corner,
and I see these two cops,
their shadows are there on the pavement.
Big dudes, flat tops,
the whole nine yards.
And I'm terrified.
My heart is in my throat
and I just know, "Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God, oh,
my God, my life is over.
These guys are gonna bust me."
So I'm looking around,
where am I gonna go?
And I see the alley
and I think, "This is it.
This is my chance to escape."
So I screw up all of my courage.
I take one step and, boom,
all the lights come on.
Klieg lights everywhere.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
And I turn around knowing I'm busted.
- And
- What?
- What happened?
- No cops.
Just two brooms
laying up against the fence.
- Two brooms?
- [ CHUCKLES ]
- There was nobody even in the house.
- Oh!
- Wasn't even anybody home.
- Oh! Oh, my God.
- Oh! Hey! Hey, it's out.
- There it is. It is out.
- Oh, my gosh. Thank you.
- Oh, hey.
But can I get, like,
your Instagram handle
- just so we can?
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, uh, thanks, doc.
♪
Hey, Bennet, uh, can I see you
down in the infirmary?
Just for a quick follow up?
Yeah. Sure, man. Thanks.
Okay. What is going on?
You look properly bugged out,
and that looks like
garden variety eczema.
It's not.
Bennet, are you familiar with
Trichophyton mentagrophytes type VII?
No.
Well, commonly known as ringworm,
it's usually a
garden variety fungal infection,
nothing to be worried about,
but there is a rare strain
spread through skin-to-skin contact
that I saw while I was in Africa.
And if it's left untreated,
it can have some pretty serious
symptoms, including blindness.
The good news is
because we caught it early,
cultured it to be exactly sure,
yours will not be left untreated.
- There's a drug.
- The bad news is
we don't have it on hand, but
we can get it at the next port.
In the meantime, I'm gonna give
you some clotrimazole cream
that'll bring down
the itchiness and redness.
- Okay.
- And, uh, mate.
No more pulling tail.
That's what weddings are for. Thank you.
No, no, no, this this strain
is highly, highly contagious.
Anyone that you've had
sexual contact with
is gonna need to be alerted,
including Deyja.
We can do it on your behalf,
if you'd prefer.
I'm fine. I, uh I'm
not a complete jackass.
I'll handle it. Thank you.
♪
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
Look at all these happy wedding guests.
Marriage causes nothing but agony.
- I stand by it.
- Come on.
You have never wanted to fall in love?
I thought about it. Once.
And? What changed your mind?
♪
I went through with it.
You Wait, hold on.
You? You were married?
Yes, yes. Shh, shh. For
the briefest of moments.
This does not leave this circle.
Of course. Your secret's safe with me.
So long as you tell me
all the scintillating details.
Scintillating it was not.
It was a depressingly short story.
Even better. I'm a very busy
doctor, as you can see.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I had known Kevin since kindergarten,
and he was funny and charming
easy.
And after graduation,
we fell into a routine
hanging with the same crew
from high school,
weekends drinking beers
in Tessa Matsumoto's garage.
And I thought, "Okay, we'll
just keep doing this forever.
Cool. Get married? Why the heck not?"
- But?
- But on our honeymoon,
his phone kept blowing up.
He was in the shower,
and with one little peek,
everything I thought
I knew about this person
- went up in smoke.
- No
- Wait. Not
- Tessa Matsumoto. Yeah.
- The one and only.
- Aw, man. That sucks.
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, don't be. I'm very over it.
It led me to reevaluate my life,
and it inspired me
to make a bucket list.
And the first thing on it
was to see the world,
and that's why I took this job.
What else is on that bucket list?
♪
- I'll never tell.
- Oh, come on.
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
Well, I for one, I'm glad you're here.
And to hell with Kevin
and Tessa Matsumoto.
- They just had triplets.
- Oof.
- Karma is the best.
- [ LAUGHS ]
[ WATCHES CHIMING ]
[ GROANS ]
Does it ever abate, even for a second?
Nope. Let's go.
♪
[ SOBBING ] Get out! You're not
supposed to see me like this!
- Just relax, alright?
- Get out!
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
[ SIGHS ] Just promise
you'll take care of her, yeah?
♪
- [ VOMITS, COUGHING ]
- Oh, thank God you're here.
She's She's having some
kind of episode. Jitters maybe.
- This is to monitor your vitals.
- [ WEAKLY ] It's not jitters, mama.
- [ GROANS, VOMITS ]
- Oh, come on, baby girl. Get it all out.
Alright. Let me take a look.
Fever.
Diaphoretic.
Jaundice of the eyes.
You mind leaning back for me?
- [ GROANS ] Oh.
- Oh
- Oh!
- Oh, my mm.
It looks like pancreatitis.
- Oh, my God.
- Are you on any medications?
Oh, dear God.
You don't understand.
My dress, it's um
it's a vintage Vera Wang.
- It's a size two.
- She's been taking
that "Oz-lympic"
or whatever it's called.
You know, the s-skinny girl drug.
I told her back in my day,
the way we fit into our dresses
was the old-fashioned way
Laxatives, prunes, and prayers.
This dress, it's just, mm,
it's a one of a kind,
and it can't be altered.
And still won't zip, so last week,
I doubled the dose just to get
the last few pounds
Doubled?
Miss,
I need you to come with me right now.
Are you okay to walk, or
would you prefer a wheelchair?
Where are you taking her?
Your daughter needs IV fluids,
antibiotics,
- and possibly a CT scan.
- Whoa, fluids? Yeah, no, no, no.
I'll bloat. I can't do that.
But the rehearsal's tomorrow morning.
Ma'am, your daughter is at
serious risk of liver failure.
So unless you want this wedding
to turn into a funeral,
I need to admit her until I see a
marked improvement in her health.
[ VOMITS ]
How tall are you?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
You ready?
Cue music!
Sorry.
[ WAGNER'S "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING ]
Okay. And we're moving.
We're moving. Come on.
And we're walking. Let's go, let's go.
Okay. Good, good, good.
Oh, you two look great.
Okay. Do you know what to do over here?
Where's my chair?
- H-Housekeeping!
- Sorry, Mrs. Parsons.
- Thank you.
- So, if you go there.
- Thanks.
- If you'll excuse me.
- Alright.
- Let's keep space between you.
Now, keep going. This is it.
Fantastic, guys.
That's the way I want it.
Keep going, guys. This is great. Wow.
She makes such a beautiful
bride, don't you think?
Oh, my God, that's not the bride.
- [ LAUGHS ]
- Sorry. You're daughter's
- This is a rehearsal!
- Right.
The bride and groom
need to know their marks
because she's recuperating,
and I couldn't
I couldn't let the
the groom walk down here
with some stranger 'cause it's bad luck.
So we will play the video back
so they'll see
where they're supposed to go.
[ CHUCKLES ]
- Honey.
- Hi.
♪
Shh!
Okay, vows. Yada, yada, yada.
Uh, as long as you both shall live.
- Uh, in sickness and in health.
- Oh. Absolutely not.
One sniffle and
I'm running away with Felipe.
- [ GASPS DRAMATICALLY ]
- The pool boy? How dare you?
And by the powers vested in
me by Poseidon and Davy Jones,
you may kiss the bride.
- Ah! I object!
- [ LAUGHS ]
- Oh, please.
- Sorry.
I've always wanted to do that
for the drama.
- Let's celebrate ♪
- Hey!
Come on! Whoo!
- [ SIGHS ]
- Let's celebrate ♪
Yeah, well, this is this
is over for the rehearsal.
The The wedding hasn't even started.
Don't you know this is
just a fake wedding?
You people are so stupid.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
Excuse me. Excuse me.
♪
Hey, doc, um
Hey, you think, uh
[ SNIFFLES ]
we could, uh, have a word?
♪
- Of course.
- Thank you.
It started to show up a few days ago.
You seen it before, doc?
Yeah. Actually,
I have seen that before.
♪
[ SIGHS ] Oh, God.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ] Oh, I don't
know what I'm gonna do, man.
Lisa hasn't wanted to mess
around because of the, you know,
all the wedding stuff, but with
the honeymoon coming up
Man, she's gonna find out everything.
- I just don't know what to do.
- Hey. Eric, slow down.
What's "everything"?
Let me get to know you
a little bit, okay?
[ SIGHS ]
You said on your intake form
that you've had one partner
in the last 30 days.
- You've been tested for STIs
- Oh, stop, stop.
♪
I come in here and you
you ask me to fill out a
a chart on your iPad
on how many drinks I have and how
many how many sexual partners,
and you think you
could know me from that?
I mean It's all a lie, man.
All of this is a lie.
My whole life is a lie.
Eric, I got into this line of work
so I could help people with problems,
not to judge them for it.
But I can only help you
if you'll tell me the truth.
[ SNIFFLES ]
♪
I'm not a good person.
♪
I'm really not.
♪
How many partners have
you had in the last 30 days?
♪
A lot.
There's something inside me, man.
This This This darkness.
- Eric
- Eric. I mean I mean,
Eric, he's just
Whew.
He's gone, man.
He's totally gone.
[ GROANS, SNIFFLES ]
Eric
what you're describing is addiction.
- No.
- Sex addiction,
which is a disease, and it's very real.
And the good news is, because
it's a disease, it's treatable.
There are solutions.
And what you're doing right
What you're doing right now,
talking about it,
is by far the hardest part.
You know, I I saw you guys out there.
You and her.
I mean, what you guys have is real.
Anybody can see that.
But me and Lisa?
It's just all a facade, man.
It's all a game.
Just this whole thing.
[ CRYING ] Everything is not real.
It's all a game. It's all fake.
- I I gotta go, doc, please.
- No.
- I gotta go. I feel trapped.
- You're having a panic attack,
and I'd like to give you
something for the anxiety, okay?
- I don't want to die here, man.
- You're not gonna die, okay?
I want to give you something
for the anxiety,
but I need your consent.
- Is that okay with you?
- Mm-hmm.
Yes? Okay.
I'd like to give you some lorazepam.
- Just take a seat.
- Alright.
First thing I want you to do
is just breathe.
Just see if you can breathe.
I'm right here. Just listen to my voice.
And try to breathe.
- Try to breathe.
- [ BREATHLESSLY ] Okay.
Now lean back.
- Eric
- Yeah?
I have seen bad things,
real bad things,
- and this is not one of them.
- Okay.
Nobody bleeds. Nobody dies.
You're gonna be okay.
Nobody dies. It's all good.
Nobody dies. Nobody dies.
Nobody dies. Nobody dies. Nobody dies.
Okay, let's start with what we know.
First, the best man presents
with symptoms of ringworm.
Which is spread by close,
sustained skin-to-skin contact.
Which he probably gave to every
bridesmaid and sexual partner
he's had in the past two to three weeks.
And then the groom presents
with the same sentence symptoms.
So he's sleeping with his best man.
Or he's sleeping with someone
who slept with the best man.
Or they both independently
contracted the same
very rare strain of ringworm.
Right, in this case,
if it walks like a duck
and talks like a duck, it's probably
A duck having a gay affair
with his best man.
We need to disclose
to the bride immediately.
We can't do that.
HIPAA protects his right to privacy.
We have to give him
the option to disclose.
He's not in any condition to.
Not tonight, but he will be.
So for now, we say nothing.
We don't tell anything to anyone.
Then tomorrow morning,
I'll have a talk with him
and I'll remind him
of his responsibilities.
- If he refuses?
- [ CELLPHONE VIBRATING ]
Then I'll tell her myself.
- Tristan.
- Before the wedding.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- That's fair. That's responsible.
It appears that fate has made
this particular decision for us.
[ GROANS ] I can't believe
this is happening.
The wedding is in 18 hours and this
thing just appeared.
We We think it's probably
just stress, you know,
- nerves and things, right?
- It's not that bad, right?
I think that might be a fungal rash.
- No. Mom!
- Hush!
I need to do some more investigation,
but in the meantime,
we can put a cream on it,
bring down the inflammation.
Yes. Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.
That's good. Slather it on me.
I need this thing gone. Gone.
I also have it on my back
and my inner thigh.
Good Lord.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
Thank you.
[ EXHALES SLOWLY ]
- Okay.
- You know
if you're
having reservations, it's not too late.
- What are you talking about?
- Well, reactions this intense
the night before a wedding,
it might be a sign that perhaps
this isn't what you want.
♪
I was married once,
and walking down the aisle,
I had this gut feeling,
and I ignored it.
And it turns out that my
my body knew something
that my mind didn't,
and I wish that I had listened.
Mm. It hurts, doesn't it?
The lotion? Yeah. It can sting a little.
No, no, I mean, it must really hurt
watching another woman succeed
where you failed.
Anyway, um, I can handle this.
I got this from here.
I know you guys have a lot going on,
and I don't want to keep you, so
Have a good night.
♪
You know what? You're right.
You and Eric are a perfect match.
Good luck tomorrow.
Aww, that is so sweet, Lisa.
Thank y'all for taking
such good care of my baby girl.
Oh, and look, my Riviera tan, doc.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ SIGHS ]
♪
I did my best to notice ♪
When the call came down the line ♪
Up to the platform of surrender ♪
I was brought, but I was kind ♪
And sometimes I get nervous ♪
When I see an open door ♪
Close your eyes ♪
Clear your heart ♪
♪
Cut the cord ♪
Are we human ♪
Or are we dancer? ♪
My sign is vital ♪
My hands are cold ♪
And I'm on my knees ♪
Looking for the answer ♪
Are we human ♪
Or are we dancer? ♪
Mm ♪
Pay my respects to grace and virtue ♪
Send my condolences to good ♪
Give my regards to soul and romance ♪
They always did the best they could ♪
And so long to devotion ♪
You taught me everything I know ♪
Wave goodbye ♪
Wish me well ♪
[ WAVES CRASHING IN DISTANCE ]
You've gotta let me go ♪
Are we human ♪
Or are we dancer? ♪
My sign is vital ♪
My hands are cold ♪
And I'm on my knees ♪
Looking for the answer ♪
Are we human ♪
Or are we dancer? ♪
Mm ♪
[ WAVES CRASHING ]
[ INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES ]
♪
[ ALARM BLARING ]
MAN: Code Alpha. Code Alpha.
All crews to Alpha stations.
Guests, please return
to your cabins.
Code Alpha. Code Alpha.
All crews to Alpha stations.
Guests, please return
to your cabins.
♪
He left this, sir.
[ SIGHS HEAVILY ]
Alright, can somebody tell me
how $150,000
man-overboard detection system
does not detect
a man going overboard?!
Unfortunately, sir, it's
not a foolproof system.
It relies on camera feed
to detect motion.
Our working theory is
that his black tuxedo at night
didn't register as movement.
Well, that's
a damn failed system, isn't it?
- Yes, sir.
- How long ago did he jump?
- 8 hours, 26 minutes, sir.
- Rosie, at full throttle,
how quickly can you get us
back in that vicinity?
I can shave off a few hours, but, sir,
we were cruising at 24 knots last night.
He jumped from a height of 97 feet.
At that velocity, the water
might as well be concrete.
It is our policy on The Odyssey
to give our guests the absolute best.
And in difficult situations,
the best I can offer you is honesty.
Last night Eric Colby went overboard
- from the upper leisure deck.
- What?
We were unaware of this
incident until this morning.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
So y Send someone out there, man.
You go go get him. Right?
Do you have someone out there
g-going to look for him, or wh
We've dispatched several rescue boats,
and we've sent a distress signal
to every floating vessel
for 1,000 nautical miles.
Everything that can be done
is being done, I assure you.
Okay, but he can swim, so he's alive.
So he's he's down there s
[ BREATHING RAPIDLY ]
He's alive, right?
♪
Oh, God. No.
We are always prepared
for any eventualities.
Now, at the request
of Eric's family and loved ones,
we are returning to our home port
while we allow those vehicles
that are best equipped
to continue the search
and recovery of Eric Colby.
♪
Now, I know we're
we're all far from our home
cities and civilizations
♪
but here on The Odyssey
you are never alone.
We are one ship.
The medical team is standing by
to offer you counseling,
I encourage you, lean on them,
lean on me
lean on each other.
♪
I think I was like, eight or nine,
and it was the night before Easter.
I snuck down to my playroom
because I heard voices.
I thought it was the Easter Bunny.
It wasn't.
It was Dad and
his publicist
on the day bed
naked.
The next morning, Mama was hosting
this big thing with everyone
from church and the club,
and she had these white
calla lilies everywhere.
And it was perfect.
I told her what I saw, and
her smile did not falter
for a second.
She knew. She just said, "Baby girl,
sometimes you gotta make things better
to make things better."
So you were aware
that Eric was being unfaithful?
Mm.
I just didn't know
how to fix my relationship.
But I thought that if I could
make things perfect
for a day, just a day
that, um, maybe things
would just fall into place.
Maybe it would
Maybe it would be perfect.
- And Bennet?
- [ SIGHS ] You know about that?
He and Eric were intimate?
- Eric was bi?
- What?
No. No.
Eric wasn't sleeping with Bennet.
♪
I was.
We all went to Duke together, and
♪
I liked Bennet.
He was
He was funny, charming.
But Eric
Eric was
Eric was marriage material.
♪
But I knew, you know?
I knew that he
♪
He really struggled.
He really suffered with mental health.
But I just pushed right on
through because
♪
because I wanted to get married.
♪
[ CRYING ] I wanted the dream.
♪
- This is all my fault, isn't it?
- No.
We all go through relationship troubles
one way or the other,
but in the case of suicide,
there are just so many other variables.
Pre-existing emotional trauma.
There are genetic factors at play.
No. [ SNIFFLES ] Genetic?
That's the answer?
Genetic? No.
No. I don't understand. [ SNIFFLES ]
I need to understand.
[ CRYING ]
♪
Hi, Mom.
Baby girl.
I've been on the bridge
all morning waiting for news.
A call came in from
the Mexican Coast Guard.
A body washed up
somewhere south of Acapulco.
[ VOICE BREAKING ] No.
- [ VOICE BREAKING ]
- They think it's him.
[ CRYING ]
I want you to go up to my
room and get under the covers.
- Okay.
- I just have
two quick words for these doctors.
Okay.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
I'm sorry.
I know I've been
an evil sea witch all week,
and
y'all didn't deserve that.
I just love that girl so much.
He was a troubled boy, and I knew that,
I was concerned about that
but Lisa wanted this wedding
here on this ship, so I
I just pretended my fears away.
[ CRYING ]
That was wrong.
I should have done something.
I should've I should've stepped in
and said, "Something is wrong
here and we need to discuss it,
deal with it, we need to help this boy."
But I didn't, and
and now it's too late,
and I'll never forgive myself.
Oh!
♪
Thank you.
♪
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
[ KNOCKING ]
- Good evening.
- It's 1:30 in the morning.
- What do you want?
- I can't sleep.
Fancy a little
kitchen raid?
Don't mind if I do.
Ah.
♪
Hmm.
♪
[ GASPS ]
Oh!
- Really?
- What?
She said she was gonna
throw it out. I heard her.
- Really?
- I'm sorry.
Disrespectful. Tristan.
- It's really good.
- What if this was your wedding?
♪
- [ SNORTS ]
- [ CHUCKLES ]
Well, that would be awful.
I mean, even worse
if they were to do this.
[ GASPS, LAUGHS ]
- What is going on here?
- [ MUFFLED ] She started it.
The only excuse
for conduct this unprofessional
would be if you paired it
with a nice bottle of champagne.
- Oh.
- I'm glad I found you both here,
because you're actually
not off the clock yet.
I have one more piece of business.
If there is any silver lining
to be found from this week's tragedies,
it's that it gives us
a chance to take stock of life,
of what's important to us.
So inspired by our
very own Avery Morgan,
I have an assignment
bucket lists.
I want you to give me five life goals,
and then I want to make
a pact right here tonight
that we're all going to help
each other achieve them.
Mm.
- I'm game.
- Okay. Me too.
- [ CHUCKLES ]
- Excellent.
Ah-ah-ah. Wait, Dr. Odyssey.
I have the perfect place for this.
Come.
♪
Okay. Bucket item list number one.
- Bucket list item number one.
- [ LAUGHS ]
I'm drunk. Wow. Learn how to kitesurf.
Number two, break a world record.
- For kitesurfing?
- Uh, no. For anything.
You could do most spoons
hung on your face.
- What?
- It's a real one. [ LAUGHS ]
Three, I want a dog,
you know, and a house on the beach,
with enough room for him to run in
and where I can surf every day.
Four
♪
I want to fall in love, you know?
Like a "forever in love," and
get married.
With six little Tristans running around?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, five, okay.
Before the dog, before
the marriage, before the kids
[ CHUCKLES ]
have a three way.
You've never had a three way?
You literally have a girl at every port.
Well,
they're really difficult to organize.
- [ CHUCKLES ]
- People
People get drunk,
they pass out, they get cold feet.
- I don't know. Mm?
- Tristan.
Thank you. That was very well shared.
- Thanks, doc.
- Ms. Morgan.
- Mm?
- Your turn.
Mhm. Okay, but I'm cold.
- Can we walk?
- Yes, of course. Oh.
- Snacks.
- Snacks.
Well, you already know my first one,
- to see the world, which I have.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- Second, I want to be a doctor.
Well, you're already
on your way to that one.
Thank you. Both.
- Seriously.
- Oh. Snacks.
- And third
- [ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ]
I want
- to know myself.
- To know yourself?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
Alright. I'll accept that.
- Next
- Mm-hmm?
And, okay, no making fun of me.
♪
- I want to perform.
- Perform?
Yeah. I used to go
to theater camp as a kid
and do plays and musicals,
and it was freeing and fun.
And then one day around puberty,
it was suddenly terrifying
and not so fun, so I stopped.
But I don't know, I think
I think underneath the fear
there's joy
and I want to try it again.
Be bold.
At least once.
- I like that one.
- Okay. What's the last one?
Oh, was that not five?
- Uh, no. No, it was not.
- Oh. Um
I guess I'll steal Tristan's
threesome, baby.
- Oh, wow.
- [ LAUGHTER ]
- Another threesome.
- Let's go.
- Uh, I am almost out.
- Me too.
To the Pelican deck!
[ CHUCKLING ] Uh, what?
This is your room?
They gave you a suite?
Come on. Is this a sofa?
I mean, do you even use this?
Of course I do. It's where
I sit down to put on my socks.
Huh. A sofa to put socks on.
That is going on my bucket list.
- Kitesurfing can do one.
- [ CORK POPS ]
Oh. Dr. Odyssey,
I believe it is your turn.
- Go.
- Right. Yes.
- [ MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY ]
- Bucket item number one
I wanted to see the world,
or at least a new side of it,
- and here I am, voilà.
- Ah.
Uh
- Thank you.
- item number two
most welcome hmm
I would like to fall in love
and have kids,
teach them to be self-reliant.
We're so dependent upon technology
and convenience these days.
I wanna teach them
to rely on themselves.
[ TRISTAN AND AVERY CHUCKLE SOFTLY ]
Don't mind if I do.
That's a good one.
♪
Alright. Two more.
I would like
for my life to have meaning.
♪
It's so quick, you know?
It's just like a little pebble dropped
into a pond and then gone forever.
[ INHALES SLOWLY ]
But just like a pebble,
there are ripples,
and I want my ripples to mean something.
[ CHUCKLES ] God, you guys
are both so boring.
- Sorry. Grown-up.
- [ CHUCKLES ]
Alright, it's fair.
But last one, please
come up with something fun.
♪
I can't think of anything.
Yes, you can! Oh, come on. You
Okay. Hold on, hold on.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
- [ LAUGHS ]
- Okay.
I'm sorry. I'll get back.
Just let me think about it!
Oh, you're stalling!
This is a safe place, Dr. Odyssey.
You You can tell us
if it's a threesome.
Actually, that particular box
has been checked.
- [ CHUCKLING ] Oh, what?
- Oh!
Out with it. Every detail.
I'm a little insulted
that you're both so surprised.
I was kind of a hot ticket in college.
Ha, yeah. Good one.
I mean, that wasn't
enough of a hot ticket
'cause ultimately they were way
more interested in each other
than they were in me.
I was more of an audience member
than I was a participant.
Oh. Two girls? A girl and a guy?
Sadly, the rest of the details
will have to remain a mystery.
I made a pact. I am sworn to secrecy,
and I am very good friends
with both of them to this day.
- Yeah. That tracks.
- So the final
The final bucket list item
have a good threesome.
[ CHUCKLES ]
Okay, fine.
I'll give up learning French for that.
Have a good threesome. Here, here.
(ALL) Cheers.
♪
Tryna get you into frame ♪
Mm.
I mean, I'm game.
Wouldn't it be something? ♪
- Yeah, right, Avery.
- [ CHUCKLES ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
What?
And we do not feel the same ♪
It's on of all our
lists.
♪
I force the stars to align ♪
To settle ♪
And all I got was trouble ♪
Trouble ♪
♪
I forced the stars to align ♪
To settle ♪
And all I got was trouble ♪
Trouble ♪
And all I got was trouble ♪
Trouble ♪
♪