Fantastic Four (2006) s01e06 Episode Script

(WHIRRING) BEN: They could be inside the car.
REED: I would notice if there was a microscopic army inside the car, Ben.
The mini-Fantasticar is simply bringing back data and samples from the microverse.
I don't know why you insist that something bad is going to happen.
Oh, gee, I don't know, maybe because it's us? Well, not this time.
If my experiments with matter reduction Shrinking.
If my experiments with shrinking continue to progress well, we'll be able to personally enter the microverse.
Imagine, a whole new universe that exists between our atoms.
Thrilling.
So what's stopping you? HERBIE: Probe resizing complete.
Well, shrinking people is a little more complicated.
I've invited a scientist named Hank Pym over tomorrow to brainstorm.
He's sort of an expert in the field who's invented (DOG BARKING) (EXCLAIMS) (BEEPS) JOHNNY: Say hello to the fifth member of the Fantastic Four.
His code name is Fire Hound, or maybe Canine Torch.
I haven't decided yet.
I told the kid downstairs I'd watch him today.
Oh, look.
He likes you, Reed.
Hey, quit it.
Stop that.
REED: The car.
Ben, stop the car.
I got this.
Fire Hound, fetch.
(GRUNTS) (BARKING) REED: Johnny, get that dog out of here.
Come here, you.
Hey.
(ALARM SOUNDING) (EXCLAIMS) Can you make a little more noise? I don't think they heard you on the other side of the planet.
No dogs in the lab.
(CHUCKLES) I'm not saving you from your sister's wrath this time.
SUZY: Who's the prettiest dog in the whole world? You are.
Yes, you are.
Okay.
Thank you, Susan.
(SCOFFS) Sister's wrath, indeed.
Puppy.
(SIGHS) I'm going to bed.
Well, at least there was no tiny, little army in there, or monsters.
(ALARM CLOCK BEEPING) (YAWNS) (DOG PANTING) (EXCLAIMS) (JOHNNY SCREAMING) (GASPS) Johnny! (EXCLAIMS) SUZY: Reed! (BEN GRUNTING) (THUDDING) You gotta be kidding me.
HERBIE, pull up the files on Hank's "Pym Particles," and begin a nuclear comparison of Huh? Interesting.
You shrunk me.
It's entirely possible that everything else just grew.
- Hey, you shrunk me.
- See? This is bad for my image.
How is anyone supposed to take us seriously looking like this? (JOHNNY WHOOPING) Look how big Fire Hound got.
He's awesome.
(EXCLAIMS) What? I suspect this might be connected to the microverse probe.
(SNIFFING) I'll need to do a thorough analysis to confirm this, but it's possible that the mini-Fantasticar had absorbed some remnant microverse energy.
And if I remember correctly, we all touched it.
You lost me at Well, you never had me, actually.
You keep thinking, Stretch.
I'll be in the kitchen.
(JOHNNY WHISTLING) Come on, Fire Hound.
Giddy up, little doggie.
This Us This is great.
I'm a little concerned that you're not concerned.
Isn't this a problem? No, I'm certain I can reverse the process, but this is a breakthrough in my work.
- I should be able to beat Hank's record.
- Huh? Are you kidding me? Please tell me you're not in some kind of shrinking contest with another scientist.
Okay, I won't tell you that, but I think I'm gonna win.
(HUMMING) What? I may never have another chance to make a sandwich this big.
Hey.
Hey.
This is gonna be one big sandwich.
(GRUNTING) Well, you're still ugly, but at least there's less of you.
You'd better zip it, matchstick.
Or what? You'll bite my ankles? Tie my shoelaces together? Come on, short stuff, you can still be the ever-loving, blue-eyed pebble.
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) It's clobbering time! (LAUGHING) I'm sorry, Ben, you have to admit, that's a little funny.
No pun intended.
Oh, please, say it again.
Come on, Ben, say it.
(BOTH EXCLAIM) Well, well, if it isn't the human spark.
Not so funny now, is it, firefly? I've still got enough heat for you.
Flame on! (BOTH GRUNTING) So, you still think this isn't a problem? Yes.
Well, I'm reevaluating that assessment.
If we're still shrinking, this could be a real situation.
HERBIE, I need you to access the data files on the microverse.
We're heading up to the lab.
HERBIE? HERBIE: Voice identification failure.
Oh.
Right.
My voice is a higher pitch now.
- Hey.
- Hey.
(EXCLAIMS) HERBIE: Hello, little boy and girl.
The Fantastic Four's apartment is a restricted area.
Do you know where your parents are? (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) HERBIE, it's us.
Do a retinal scan.
Ah.
Do you want to play "Fantastic Four"? Okay.
At this rate of shrinking, we may only have a few hours before we become microscopic and then it's only a matter of time before - Before what? - Well, before we shrink out of existence.
Oh, sure.
Of course.
Ben, Johnny, we're going up to the lab so Reed can fix us.
Come on.
Hey, wait up.
Oh, Ben.
We're action figures.
Yeah, and I'm about to show you my kung-fu grip.
Now get over here.
- They're pressure sensitive.
- We're too light to make the doors open.
Nothing can be easy, can it? HERBIE: Subjects, mammalian.
Species, unknown.
Correlation, rodent.
Infestation protocols initiated.
All vermin must be eliminated.
(BEN PANTING) Never realized the elevator was so far away.
What's the matter, big guy? Feeling a little short of breath? We're the same height, genius.
Yeah? Well, so are you.
HERBIE: Rodents detected.
Begin elimination.
Uh-oh.
That's got "bad" written all over it.
HERBIE, you idiot computer.
It's us.
(GROANS) I I can't get hot enough.
Too slow.
Well played, HERBIE.
Rodents detected.
Eliminate.
(GASPS) Uh-oh.
Susan, this might be bad.
If your computer just called me a rat, I'm gonna be very upset.
(GRUNTS) Are you kidding me? Well, I said it might be bad.
I suggest we get out of here.
Quickly! You know part of you is enjoying this.
Maybe.
(BEEPING) HERBIE: Welcome, Miss Masters.
Can I help you? Would you like something to drink? No, thank you, HERBIE.
Ben and I are going out to breakfast.
(GRUNTING) (GRUNTING) Ben? Benjamin isn't here, and there are certainly no rats here either.
None.
Not one and I would never So where is Ben, HERBIE? Benjamin has not left the building, but Benjamin is not in the building.
HERBIE, how is that possible? The Fantastic Four have not left the building, but they are not in the building.
The Fantastic Four have not left the building, but they are not in the building.
Does Reed have another computer I could talk to maybe? Did Dr.
Richards tell you he did? HERBIE, do you know where they are or not? I know where they were.
REED: Susan.
It's Alicia.
She can help us get to the lab and work the computers.
We have to go back down.
SUZY: Going down.
(YELLING) Alicia.
Whoa! Well, it's a good design.
Now you can see why we don't have any rats in the building.
Did you just hear Reed? No, and I didn't hear any rats either.
(SIGHS) Okay, HERBIE.
Just have Ben call me when he gets back.
Will diddly-do.
(BEN GRUNTING) I may be small, but I still got it.
(EXCLAIMS) (GRUNTING) Rats eliminated.
Take that.
Mice detected.
(JOHNNY EXCLAIMS) Flame on! Johnny.
(YELLING) (GROWLING) - Hello? I can fly.
- I knew that! (EXCLAIMS) SUZY: No luck? REED: It's no use.
I designed the seal to be airtight.
Well, it's too big for me to move.
What now? Well, this may not be all bad.
If we shrink just enough, theoretically we could enter the microverse.
Is it nice there? I just hope it has air.
Do you hear that noise? (EXCLAIMS) I think that's the (EXCLAIMING) (GRUNTING) Hmm? What are you looking at? Scram.
(GRUNTING) Wow.
You fell for, like, ever.
I don't know how big we are now, but that must have been, like, miles.
You should go again.
We're now actually further away from the lab than when we started.
No kidding.
At this size, we gotta be, like, six miles away.
- What now? - REED: Hang on.
I'm recalculating how much time we have before we shrink to nothing.
Reed, you may want to recalculate how much time we have until we get sliced and diced by a giant exhaust fan.
That doesn't really seem as relevant.
I Oh.
For the fan, 13.
5 seconds.
Flame (EXCLAIMS) (EXCLAIMS) (GROANING) (SCREAMING) (GRUNTING) Oh, crud.
(GASPS) Great, now I get to be an ant's chopped salad.
(GRUNTS) - Man, bugs must really like us.
- I was hoping he'd make his appointment.
(FLUTTERING) Everyone, I'd like you to meet Dr.
Henry Pym, also known as Ant-Man.
Hi there.
Funny, I thought you'd all be taller.
(BOTH LAUGHING) (EXCLAIMS) I bet you've been waiting your whole life to use that line.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.
Usually, I'm the tiny one in these situations.
My friend here told me that there were miniature people running around in the air ducts.
I thought it was worth checking out.
It's incredible, Hank.
I can't wait to analyze the data.
- Reed.
- After we save our lives, of course.
The short version, pardon the pun, is that we're shrinking at an exponential rate due to contact with energy from the microverse via a probe.
Microverse? I named it Subatomica.
No, that doesn't work for me.
See, we already have a Subterranea.
Anyway, we have to get to my lab so I can analyze the probe, reverse the energy's effects and get back to normal.
Simple.
Okay, you guys need to go and form your own team now.
I'm thinking, "Legion of Geeks.
" Reed, how are you gonna do anything in the lab? We're too small.
Well, Hank can operate the computers.
And if we get small enough, I suppose I can just fix the microverse energy atoms by hand.
You're kidding, right? Right? Now, who wants a ride? (DRONING) Okay, seriously, tell me.
Were you raised by ants? (ALARM SOUNDING) HERBIE: Ants.
Ants detected! Why is this happening? Run insect infestation protocol.
Begin extermination.
(GRUNTS) That transmitter must be interfering with my helmet.
I can't control the ants.
(SQUEALING) (SCREAMS) Hey, I thought you said you were a superhero? Aren't you supposed to be rescuing us? (BEN SCREAMING) (GROANS) (GRUNTS) Reed, you've got a plan C, right? Fire Hound, yes! I told you that dog was awesome.
Yes, let's just get to the lab.
REED: (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) We have to override HERBIE's security systems for the elevator.
You need a code.
It's F-F-4-9.
Reed, 4-9 What? I can't hear you.
Was that a seven? HERBIE: Full access granted.
Welcome.
Reed? Reed? What now? What a revolting development.
- What was that? - That was an electron.
Now, help me grab it.
Reed, this is as small as I can shrink.
What should I do? HERBIE: Welcome back, Dr.
Richards.
You wouldn't believe the problems I've been having.
SUZY: I thought you were joking about rearranging atoms by hand.
Haven't you always wanted to see an atom up that close? - Not really.
- Not really.
And, Hank, I totally won our bet.
- How How did you do that? - I'm glad you asked.
All I had to do (JOHNNY, BEN AND SUZY GROANING) BEN: Here comes the boring part.
Run.
I was able to trap an electron of the microverse energy, then reverse its trajectory, which polarized the atom.
- Neat.
- Nerds.
(CHUCKLING) Come on, boy.
Breathe fire.
Come on, you can do it.
(WHIMPERING) Thanks again, Hank.
We really appreciate the help.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Hi, Mr.
Fantastic.
I'm here for my dog.
BILLY: Rufus.
(BARKING) (BILLY LAUGHING) - Should we tell him? - No.
Thanks for dog-sitting, Johnny.
Did you feed him? Did everything go okay? - Sure.
No problems, really.
- Fine.
Nothing weird happened.
Great dog you got there.
Oh, no.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) (BILLY SCREAMING)