Felicity s01e06 Episode Script
Cheating
Previously on "Felicity" - I'm Blair! No, no, it's okay.
I don't want to ruin things either.
We're-- We're just friends.
That's-- That's fine.
I wanted to apologize for being such a jerk, so Felicity: Dear Sally, it was perfect-- just perfect.
* Tie up loose ends * * Darling babys heart is broken * * As the road bends * What? - * Look at all you are becoming * - Don't move.
* Stretch your calling * - * Way beyond * - Sorry.
- * Where * - It's okay.
- * distance finds you * - There was a thing from the salsa.
- * What is calling * - Cilantro, I think.
Sorry.
* now must take you to the harbor * - * I trouble all the time * - Well, uh, I'm pretty much done here.
- * But in lines * - So, did Robert Browning - * I stand up to be strong * - survive your withering critical assault? - * And I meet you * - Barely, but I think my paper's pretty good.
- * in the green * - That's great.
Every time I re-read mine, it makes less and less sense.
- * and in the wanting to belong * - Do you want me to hand yours in, too? No.
I gotta proof it again.
My computer's all screwed up.
Every time I use my spell-check, it freezes.
Oh.
well, is it on disk? I can run it through mine.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- * All of us do really love you * - All right.
Here.
- * You are surrounded * - So, I'll walk you downstairs.
Oh, you don't have to.
* You can come out now * * It is time to be unburdened * So, um, thanks.
Sure.
I mean, you know, it helps me, too, reviewing the reading.
- * Stretch your calling * - Yeah.
That's good.
- * Way beyond Where distance takes you * - So um Uh, yeah.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah.
* What is calling * * now must take you * Perfect, right? I should have known.
* I turned left * * But you turned right * * Only one-Way roads * * On this stretch of life * * We cant back up or turn back time * * Out of sight, not out of mind * * You made a choice, Wave goodbye * * Im not turning back * * And I think about you every day * * Goodbye * * On ragged roads to better days * * And I see your picture in my head * * Goodbye * * I think I'll miss you * * But you'll never see me again * * Goodbye * * Your letter said * * You found your place * * Somewhere else With another face * * Written words like razor blades * * slashing all my hope away * * I'd bleed to death from paper cuts * * But the road is calling me * * And I think about you * * Eggs.
And then I said, "I'll see you," and I left.
It was lame.
Wow.
Wow, what? I don't even know what it means.
He touched your teeth.
That means something.
My teeth don't mean anything.
Don't you think? He touched her teeth.
It was like a - a flick.
I've gone out with guys for weeks that never flicked my teeth.
Teeth are the most sensual part of the human body.
- Excuse me? - Yeah, one of my girlfriends - I mean, she and her husband have this whole thing they do that-- Uh, Cream of Wheat? Um no, thanks.
So, you're not blowing me off? What? Don't even think about canceling.
Hey.
Hi.
I'm not gonna cancel.
Okay, thanks, 'cause I had this dream that you canceled.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
So, things seem to be going really well, huh? Yeah.
We're just hanging out.
It's nice.
We're gonna see some Russian movie.
Which one? It's called ''Solaris,'' I think.
You're going on a date to see ''Solyaris''? Why? Is that a problem? No.
It's just, like, five hours long.
Five hours? What's it about? It's this group of people locked on a space station speaking Russian slowly for five hours.
- You've seen this? - Well, not exactly.
My dad took me to this, uh, revival movie theater in San Francisco, and I was just really confused.
What do you mean? Like I sort of passed out.
But, you know, that was a year ago, and I was much younger.
No, no, no.
I am not gonna like this movie.
I can tell.
And Zack is gonna think I am a moron.
No, he won't.
You went and saw ''The Exorcist.
'' That was easy.
Everybody knows how to scream.
I can't go see ''Solaris.
'' ''Solyaris.
'' You're overreacting.
I can't go.
You're on my list.
I am? I am being harassed, because you - violated a student/R.
A.
confidence.
- What? Wait.
What do you mean by "harassed"? I'm in the bathroom, and this girl starts singing ''Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
'' Harassment? Isn't that more like entertainment? Everybody knows about me and Blair, and I blame you.
You blame me? Wait.
Did you stop to think that maybe I don't care? Maybe The Tin Man's doing the talking.
Elena.
Blair.
Just saying hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I got a class.
That's cool.
You around later? You mean, like, what? Like I can by around 4:00.
We can grab a bite? Okay.
Good.
4:00.
- Is she always? - Yeah, she's always By withholding parts of the narration, the narrator lets the audience infer the larger perspective.
Browning"s "My Last Duchess" Would be a prime example of this kind of dramatic monologue, but there are countless others.
One from Shakespeare might be what? Benjamin.
Benjamin Covington.
Um, my hand wasn't up.
That's why I called on you.
I- I'm not sure.
How about an example from ''Hamlet''? Example from "Hamlet.
" Um I'm not sure.
The ''to be or not to be'' speech? Maybe? Point of fact, Hamlets speech is a soliloquy.
Unlike direct address, here the audience assumes the role of voyeur.
- Looking in, so to speak, - What was that about? - I don't know.
- How to Hamlets psyche, we see how he feels about himself, We see things other characters in the play dont see.
- Way to go.
- Thanks.
How'd you do? Oh, that's great.
Especially after my last one.
Okay, you guys are smiling.
That's a good sign.
I'm gonna fight my way in.
Uh, I can't believe Rogalski got my Liz Phair reference.
Man: Check it out.
He posted it on the board.
- He did? - Yeah.
- Mr.
Covington.
- Yeah.
- Could I speak with you, please? - Sure.
When I have suspicions about a student's academic performance, I prefer to deal with it within the department.
Okay.
Is there anything you'd like to say before I start asking questions? What? You didn't like my paper? No, that's the problem.
I liked it very much.
Sally, you know all I was trying to do was help.
l- l only Wanted to help him.
What happened? He's, uh, he's keeping my paper.
Why? The English Department's gonna start some kind of investigation.
He thinks I didn't write it.
- How can he accuse you of something like that? - Inconsistent with previous work.
What kind of crap is that? I do better, so I get punished.
Then how come he didnt keep my paper? He said he was suspicious because it was an "A" paper.
What a dick.
He picks on you in class and then accuses you of cheating.
Nice.
You read it.
was-- was there something that could have made Rogalski think I copied it or something? Well, was there? No.
Im late for Ethics class.
I'm always late for Ethics.
You gotta fight this.
I'm gonna go talk to my counselor.
This is stupid.
Um, I'll see you.
Ben.
Ben.
What's wrong? I rewrote it.
Rewrote what? Your paper.
What? I- I rewrote your paper.
What do you mean? The - I was spell-checking it ve - and, um and then I rewrote it.
- Felicity, what are you talking about? - There were some things things that I knew Rogalski would-- - What things? - I- I was just - I was trying to help because - What things?! Ben, I-I never would have - Look at me.
Was it that Shakespeare stuff, that stuff he was asking me in class? - How could you do that? - I- I'm sorry, and I - No, I don't understand, Felicity! Why would you do that?! Ben, I'm sorry.
I'II go tell him that it was my fault.
I'll go tell him right now.
Just get away from me! Get away from me! I'm not gonna take it personally.
- Take what personally? - How unbelievably flaky you are.
Good, you really shouldnt.
It's just been crazy.
Let's get some coffee.
You know, I really can't.
I have Chem Lab tonight.
Do you want to hang out later after your Chem Lab? Um, I really can't tonight.
Elena.
You know Hunan Pan over on Hudson? Yeah.
That's where we're going tomorrow night.
If youre not there, I Will never bother you again.
Okay.
Tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night.
You did what?! How about you not make me feel worse than I already do? - No.
But this is serious.
- Thanks.
I know.
Mr.
Rogalski wasn't in his office.
I'm gonna go and tell him first thing tomorrow morning.
Okay, wait a minute.
Don't move.
Where are you going? Do you know what this is? The Resident Advisor handbook.
You're not gonna read that to me, are you? The one chapter they force us to read - all about cheaters.
I- I'm not a cheater.
I'm just warning you that plagiarism is a big deal in college.
Okay? We're talking definite suspension, and that stays on your record.
Just for rewriting Ben's paper? No.
Yeah.
You and Ben.
Noel, t-this is gonna be fine.
Look, if you don't handle this right, you're gonna be in real trouble.
So what are you suggesting? For now, don't do anything.
Okay? I'll go and see what I can find out.
* I know its hard * * Maybe youre just being a little * * bit too hard on yourself * You talk to Rogalski? No, not yet.
I-- but I'm gonna-- - * I know it seems * - Don't.
Just don't tell him anything.
- I need a copy of that essay you turned in for me.
- Why? - * I know there ain't nothing * - Because I'm gonna take care of this myself.
* left for you here * - Just give me the essay.
* Theres a candle in the road * * That I've kept here for you all along * - What are you gonna do? I'm gonna tell him I wrote it.
I don't - I don't think that's such a good idea.
I don't care what you think.
I don't want your advice, and I don't want your help.
Let me just tell them it was my fault.
No, it's not your fault.
It's my fault.
I'm the one that trusted you to turn in my essay.
* Theres only so much you can do * * Without always feeling alone * * I've seen it come * * And I know that underneath it all * * is a love thats waiting to come alive * Cheating is very serious business.
Yes, sir.
I know that.
Do you ever go on the Internet? Yes, sir.
I actually have my own Web page.
Noelcrane.
com if.
.
if you-- if - if You can purchase term papers online.
Did you know that? Yes, I did.
I saw that.
Of course, I've never done it.
Thank you.
This, uh, person I know, who's concerned with - with the issue of cheating, uh, is curious what the process is.
Cheating of any kind is unacceptable.
I totally agree.
A quarter of our graduating seniors acknowledge some form of academic impropriety.
That's a really high percentage.
And if I have my way, that percentage is going to change.
Right on.
I mean, you know, that's - that's really important.
Do you feel comfortable telling me the name of this person? Uh, the person who asked me about what happens when the university finds out that someone has cheated, that person? No.
You don't feel comfortable? Not very.
So Is it one of your advisees? No.
Not at all.
Sir, it's - it's a friend who's concerned about another friend.
That's the truth.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to step up and take your medicine.
Why are you telling me this? Here's what I suggest, umNoel.
You tell this concerned friend of yours that if he or she is caught turning in a paper that he or she did not write, I will make an example of that person.
Felicity: What do you mean, its a disaster? If he's doing this, all right-- If - if he's pretending he wrote this - If he's saying he wrote it, there's a whole tribunal thing.
- What do you mean, Like a court? - Yeah.
I mean, okay.
- Either way, it's bad.
- If he says he didn't write it - even if you admit why you did it, then you're in trouble.
If he says he wrote it, then they're gonna grill him, ask him a bunch of questions about things I'm guessing he doesn't have the answers to.
You're right.
This is a disaster.
You gotta talk him out of it.
Ben hates my guts.
Yeah.
Can - Can I be honest? You would, too.
Sort of.
Look, get someone to talk to him, okay? Someone he'll listen to, someone who'll convince him to just be honest about what happened.
- Someone who's not me.
- Please? - No.
- Will you just talk to him? - No! - I'll owe you one.
- Don't you already owe me one? Excuse me? Um, I'm looking for ''Solaris'' or ''Solyaris.
'' I think it's Tarkovsky.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
You know, your movie's playing at the Mercer tomorrow night.
Yeah.
I'm renting it for after, just, you know, in case I miss something.
Don't worry.
You're gonna do fine.
Excuse me? Just remember, the celebration of human values and the power of love in a hostile or indifferent universe.
Hell eat it up.
Who? This guy's in film school, right? Your date, he's undergrad.
He has some Elmore Leonard thing on 16 he did summer after high school that he's very touchy about.
- How am I doing? - You're freaking me out.
So, of course, you have to share in his love of cinema.
So he starts with some '70s standard, uh, maybe "Chinatown"? - ''The Exorcist.
'' - Freakin'.
But now he's moved on to something a bit more serious, and you're not sure if you're up to it.
Kind of.
Hey, you know, don't sweat this.
This is standard freshman courtship ritual.
Just remember, he's trying to impress you and not the other way around.
That's $2.
50.
I wish they had, like, Cliffs Notes for these movies.
They don't.
They have me.
I'm P.
J.
Late fee's 2 bucks a day.
Can I talk to you for a second? Uh, sure, but I - I was just gonna go out - N- No.
What are you doing? - Is the elevator gonna be okay like this? - Don't worry about the elevator.
I need your advice about men.
You need my advice about men? I had my life pretty well figured out.
That goes for the guys in my life, too, the ones I usually get with.
Things are pretty clear from the start.
They have needs, I have needs.
And sex happens When it happens.
And when I wanted to end something with a guy, it's the same thing.
It'sthere's no guilt, no tears, nothing.
I just squash it and kill it dead.
And then you eat it? Are you mocking me? UmI'm just not exactly sure I understand your problem.
Blair.
I spent one night with the guy.
Now he's around all the time.
He wants to have Chinese food.
You know what I'm saying? And I - I can't Kill it dead? You're mocking me.
No, uh, I just mean that maybe you don't want to.
I just mean maybe you should consider that you might actually enjoy his company.
Just one possible theory.
Oh, and, uh, next time you want to talk I don't have to kidnap you.
Yeah, I mean Yeah.
Cool.
You get it.
Can you get that? Yeah.
Hi.
Hey.
I didn't buzz.
There was a guy coming in with a bird.
Alex, yeah.
He trains birds for commercials and stuff.
Oh.
That's C- Can I come in? Sure.
Hey, this is great.
I "m sorry I missed your party.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Marzipan boxer? - What? My new business idea.
Oh.
Uh, thanks.
Umlook.
I know this is - is probably none of my business, and, you know, we don't even actually know each other, really but Felicity told me your strategy, and I have to say, I think it's a pretty dangerous strategy.
well, I'm glad she told you about this whole thing.
She didn't know what to do.
You know, look, thanks, but I'm doing okay.
I, uh, I talked to the Dean of Students.
Don't worry.
I didn't - I didn't use your name.
Umbut I asked him hypothetically, you know, what might happen.
They're not gonna kick me out over this.
If you say you wrote that paper, and they found out you lied, at the very least, you're suspended for a year.
What do you care if I'm gone? I know Felicity cares.
And if they don't kick you out, they're gonna put something on your record you won't like.
Do me a favor and go tell Felicity I got the message, all right? all she wants to do is help.
I don't want her help! This is amazing! all I want - if you're curious - is for her to leave me alone, all right? I can take care of this myself.
With all respect, okay, I don't think you can.
You're wrong! And Felicity is crazy, all right? And I'm busy trying to learn all that stuff I wrote in my paper.
- Bite his head off.
- What? It's candy.
no, thanks, all right? Man #1: lf I go, you have to believe me.
Man #2: Good.
I believe you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- So are we still on for the movie? - Yeah, sure.
- Great.
Okay.
- You okay? - Yep, yeah! I'm studying.
- For tomorrow night.
- What? For tomorrow night? I picked up the tickets early.
I thought there might be a line.
- Oh, umto get in? - Yeah.
Oh, and I should warn you, um, it's a little long.
Yeah.
It's a classic.
Right.
So who cares? See you tomorrow night.
Okay.
* Once I could see, but now I am blind * * Once I could hear, but now everythings quiet * * Needles and pins * So tomorrow morning, Ben faces off With Mr.
Rogalski - * But everythings open now * - and two other professors.
* Everythings fine * 9:00 A.
M.
Have you seen Ben? No, but Rogalski just went in there.
He was with two other professors.
I think one of them is Linda Cohen.
Who's that? Head of the English department.
Oh, God, you gotta convince him not to do this.
Okay, before you go in there, just listen to me.
That was a horrible thing what I did.
I know that.
So just let me take the blame, and you won't even get in trouble.
No.
I don't want you to say anything.
Why? It doesn't make any sense.
The quote you added, the Bosworth thing was that from ''Anthology''? Was it? Yeah.
Ben Don't do this.
In your paper, you allude to Browning's use of dramatic irony.
Could you please define that term? Sure.
UmBrowning uses irony to help tell the story.
could you define it, please? Yes.
Irony It's complicated.
Take your time.
- How's he doing? - I can't tell.
- Noel: Is he in there already? - 15 minutes.
Can I talk to you? Are you okay? - Yeah.
I'll just - I'll call you after.
- Okay.
I'm gonna be in my room.
I'm halfway through "Solyaris, Which is like Hell.
- So Dean Allison called me.
- Why? He's convinced I wrote the paper.
- What? - Yeah, he was trying to scare me into confessing, but he went into this incredibly long speech, okay? And basically told me that once the disciplinary board gets involved, they examine the student's entire record, and that's including application materials.
I don't understand.
all right.
- You said Ben lied on his application essay, right? - Yeah.
Okay, if they read that and realize he never had a brother I mean, lying to get in forget suspension.
- He's - He's expelled.
- Okay.
What the hell do I do? You gotta go in there and tell them the truth.
I don't know.
I do.
I know.
I'm a big believer in the fact that the truth comes out whether you tell them or not.
Thats thats exactly what I'm trying to say.
That's - That's one of the reasons the poem is so Because you think that he's talking to you, but then you find out that he's talking to somebody else, an envoy.
Right? Does - I mean, does that answer your question? Yes.
Could you better explain your connection between "My Last Duchess" and "Hamlet"? Umuh, both the poem and the play use a literary technique that, uh, engages the - the reader or the viewer uh, by making them an active participant.
well, in ''Hamlet,'' his monologues, uh, solil soliloquies, make you a character in the play, just like, uh, Browning does by having the duke talk right to the reader.
I would like you to compare and contrast ''My Last Duchess'' with Browning's ''Count Gismond.
'' Uh, ''Count Gismond.
'' Sorry.
This room's a little bit, uh - It's a little bit nerve-racking.
I'm sorry.
The narrator.
It's the narrator.
I didn't write the paper.
Oh, my God.
Then who did? I bought it.
I bought it off some guy.
I don't even know his name.
I'm sorry.
Um I wrote it.
You wrote Ben's essay? Umwell, I - I rewrote it.
He - He didn't ask me to.
It was my decision, my mistake, and, umI just turned it in without him even knowing it.
So I'm - I'm the one whos in trouble here? You rewrote Ben's paper? Yes, sir.
Without his asking you to? That's right.
Do you mind my asking why? Because I'm stupid! All right? Obviously, that's the answer, all right? She read my paper.
It wasn't good enough.
So Ben Covingtons an idiot.
all right? That's the lesson for today.
Mr.
Covington.
Hey.
I-- I just wanted to let you know that I made sure they knew you had nothing to do with it, so I mean, if anyone's going to be expelled, it - it'll be me.
Why'd you do it? I mean, when you read my paper, how bad was it? It wasn't bad.
ButI'm a geek.
I'mI'm a teacher's pet, and I was just trying to add some language to it, you know, to get you a better grade, which is loathsome, I know.
You had a million friends in high school, and - and you were amazing at sports, and you were so popular but I had one thing - my classes.
I knew how to take tests and write papers.
I never should have assumed you needed help whenyou really didn't.
The last thing I ever wanted to do was to make you feel anything less than amazing.
well, thanks.
I just - I had to talk to you.
Yeah.
Good night.
Hello.
There was a wait list for reserved reading.
Um, there were only two copies.
But the guy said if I left, I would lose my spot in line.
Nah, it was fine.
I met this guy.
He was waiting for his Peking duck.
You know, it takes forever to make that.
He works for this company over on Lafayette that manufactures lawn supplies, mostly nozzles.
Nozzles? Actually, they just assemble the nozzles.
They used to make them there.
''Die cast,'' it's called, but now it's cheaper to get the brass from overseas.
- Blair.
- From Taiwan.
I said I was sorry.
Actually, you didn't, which is fine.
And I could take this as the big message and walk away, assume that other night was just nothing, except I like the dancing sandwich maker who hates Halloween, the jazz freak who thinks Charlie Parker is overrated.
I can even handle the compulsive overachiever who waits three hours at the library for some stupid reserve reading.
That was reading I needed to do.
The Elena I do have some trouble with, however, is the one who pushes people away because she's so damn scared to admit she might actually like them and is dumb enough to think that nobody gets that, even though everyone gets that.
That's such a bunch of crap.
I brought you some orange chicken.
I really loved it.
You did? The whole thing? Yeah.
You mean, for that tiny window of time that your eyes were actually open? I didn't fall asleep.
- Oh, God, was I snoring? - In my ear.
I was gonna wake you, but I-I kind of liked you snoring softly in my ear.
Okay, I need to explain this.
No, no, no, you don't.
The movie's endless.
No, umyou don't understand.
I already saw it.
I wanted to understand it, so I justyou know I didn't want you to think I was an idiot.
So I rented it.
well, I'd be lying if I said that I-I didn't fall asleep a little myself.
You're saying that to make me feel better.
Come on, it's-- it's not a big deal.
It's a movie.
So what? Zack, you really like movies.
I really like you.
I had a long conference with professors Cohen and McCardle.
We debated going to Dean Allison with this issue.
Professor Cohen felt, in particular, that this should be treated just like any other case of academic impropriety.
But I argued against it.
I felt this was more a case of poor judgment.
So neither of you will go before the university board, and you won't be expelled.
Thank you.
Of course you're both gonna fail this paper, Which will have a severe effect on your final grade.
By the Way, Ben, I read your original paper.
You would have gotten a ''B.
'' Ben! Ben.
I know that I've said this, and I'll keep saying it, but I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I should go.
* Am I confused? * * Well, I dont know * Sally: Dear Felicity, I've spent the last couple nights camping out - * What should I do? - in the desert by myself.
- * Well, I dont know * - Emmett and I were sort of going a little too fast, so getting away just helps clear my head.
* Should I distrust that I "m feeling this much? * - * Could this be love? * - It's interesting what you did for Ben.
I mean, you have these expectations for who he is, - * Well, I dont know * - for what you want him to be.
Thats just normal.
- * What are these things * - I have those same expectations for Emmett, - * that wont let go? * - Which I know is unfair.
He isnt perfect.
- * Am I chasing clouds * - He isnt John.
* That I cant hold? * * I cant decide * Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem.
It has this central question - * Could this be love? * - Is it harder to count on someone or to know that youre being the one counted upon? * What would I do if my dreams all came true? * * What would you say * - * if I shared them * - Anyway, theres this part that goes "If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.
" * To do? * - Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.
I don't want to ruin things either.
We're-- We're just friends.
That's-- That's fine.
I wanted to apologize for being such a jerk, so Felicity: Dear Sally, it was perfect-- just perfect.
* Tie up loose ends * * Darling babys heart is broken * * As the road bends * What? - * Look at all you are becoming * - Don't move.
* Stretch your calling * - * Way beyond * - Sorry.
- * Where * - It's okay.
- * distance finds you * - There was a thing from the salsa.
- * What is calling * - Cilantro, I think.
Sorry.
* now must take you to the harbor * - * I trouble all the time * - Well, uh, I'm pretty much done here.
- * But in lines * - So, did Robert Browning - * I stand up to be strong * - survive your withering critical assault? - * And I meet you * - Barely, but I think my paper's pretty good.
- * in the green * - That's great.
Every time I re-read mine, it makes less and less sense.
- * and in the wanting to belong * - Do you want me to hand yours in, too? No.
I gotta proof it again.
My computer's all screwed up.
Every time I use my spell-check, it freezes.
Oh.
well, is it on disk? I can run it through mine.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- * All of us do really love you * - All right.
Here.
- * You are surrounded * - So, I'll walk you downstairs.
Oh, you don't have to.
* You can come out now * * It is time to be unburdened * So, um, thanks.
Sure.
I mean, you know, it helps me, too, reviewing the reading.
- * Stretch your calling * - Yeah.
That's good.
- * Way beyond Where distance takes you * - So um Uh, yeah.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah.
* What is calling * * now must take you * Perfect, right? I should have known.
* I turned left * * But you turned right * * Only one-Way roads * * On this stretch of life * * We cant back up or turn back time * * Out of sight, not out of mind * * You made a choice, Wave goodbye * * Im not turning back * * And I think about you every day * * Goodbye * * On ragged roads to better days * * And I see your picture in my head * * Goodbye * * I think I'll miss you * * But you'll never see me again * * Goodbye * * Your letter said * * You found your place * * Somewhere else With another face * * Written words like razor blades * * slashing all my hope away * * I'd bleed to death from paper cuts * * But the road is calling me * * And I think about you * * Eggs.
And then I said, "I'll see you," and I left.
It was lame.
Wow.
Wow, what? I don't even know what it means.
He touched your teeth.
That means something.
My teeth don't mean anything.
Don't you think? He touched her teeth.
It was like a - a flick.
I've gone out with guys for weeks that never flicked my teeth.
Teeth are the most sensual part of the human body.
- Excuse me? - Yeah, one of my girlfriends - I mean, she and her husband have this whole thing they do that-- Uh, Cream of Wheat? Um no, thanks.
So, you're not blowing me off? What? Don't even think about canceling.
Hey.
Hi.
I'm not gonna cancel.
Okay, thanks, 'cause I had this dream that you canceled.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
So, things seem to be going really well, huh? Yeah.
We're just hanging out.
It's nice.
We're gonna see some Russian movie.
Which one? It's called ''Solaris,'' I think.
You're going on a date to see ''Solyaris''? Why? Is that a problem? No.
It's just, like, five hours long.
Five hours? What's it about? It's this group of people locked on a space station speaking Russian slowly for five hours.
- You've seen this? - Well, not exactly.
My dad took me to this, uh, revival movie theater in San Francisco, and I was just really confused.
What do you mean? Like I sort of passed out.
But, you know, that was a year ago, and I was much younger.
No, no, no.
I am not gonna like this movie.
I can tell.
And Zack is gonna think I am a moron.
No, he won't.
You went and saw ''The Exorcist.
'' That was easy.
Everybody knows how to scream.
I can't go see ''Solaris.
'' ''Solyaris.
'' You're overreacting.
I can't go.
You're on my list.
I am? I am being harassed, because you - violated a student/R.
A.
confidence.
- What? Wait.
What do you mean by "harassed"? I'm in the bathroom, and this girl starts singing ''Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
'' Harassment? Isn't that more like entertainment? Everybody knows about me and Blair, and I blame you.
You blame me? Wait.
Did you stop to think that maybe I don't care? Maybe The Tin Man's doing the talking.
Elena.
Blair.
Just saying hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I got a class.
That's cool.
You around later? You mean, like, what? Like I can by around 4:00.
We can grab a bite? Okay.
Good.
4:00.
- Is she always? - Yeah, she's always By withholding parts of the narration, the narrator lets the audience infer the larger perspective.
Browning"s "My Last Duchess" Would be a prime example of this kind of dramatic monologue, but there are countless others.
One from Shakespeare might be what? Benjamin.
Benjamin Covington.
Um, my hand wasn't up.
That's why I called on you.
I- I'm not sure.
How about an example from ''Hamlet''? Example from "Hamlet.
" Um I'm not sure.
The ''to be or not to be'' speech? Maybe? Point of fact, Hamlets speech is a soliloquy.
Unlike direct address, here the audience assumes the role of voyeur.
- Looking in, so to speak, - What was that about? - I don't know.
- How to Hamlets psyche, we see how he feels about himself, We see things other characters in the play dont see.
- Way to go.
- Thanks.
How'd you do? Oh, that's great.
Especially after my last one.
Okay, you guys are smiling.
That's a good sign.
I'm gonna fight my way in.
Uh, I can't believe Rogalski got my Liz Phair reference.
Man: Check it out.
He posted it on the board.
- He did? - Yeah.
- Mr.
Covington.
- Yeah.
- Could I speak with you, please? - Sure.
When I have suspicions about a student's academic performance, I prefer to deal with it within the department.
Okay.
Is there anything you'd like to say before I start asking questions? What? You didn't like my paper? No, that's the problem.
I liked it very much.
Sally, you know all I was trying to do was help.
l- l only Wanted to help him.
What happened? He's, uh, he's keeping my paper.
Why? The English Department's gonna start some kind of investigation.
He thinks I didn't write it.
- How can he accuse you of something like that? - Inconsistent with previous work.
What kind of crap is that? I do better, so I get punished.
Then how come he didnt keep my paper? He said he was suspicious because it was an "A" paper.
What a dick.
He picks on you in class and then accuses you of cheating.
Nice.
You read it.
was-- was there something that could have made Rogalski think I copied it or something? Well, was there? No.
Im late for Ethics class.
I'm always late for Ethics.
You gotta fight this.
I'm gonna go talk to my counselor.
This is stupid.
Um, I'll see you.
Ben.
Ben.
What's wrong? I rewrote it.
Rewrote what? Your paper.
What? I- I rewrote your paper.
What do you mean? The - I was spell-checking it ve - and, um and then I rewrote it.
- Felicity, what are you talking about? - There were some things things that I knew Rogalski would-- - What things? - I- I was just - I was trying to help because - What things?! Ben, I-I never would have - Look at me.
Was it that Shakespeare stuff, that stuff he was asking me in class? - How could you do that? - I- I'm sorry, and I - No, I don't understand, Felicity! Why would you do that?! Ben, I'm sorry.
I'II go tell him that it was my fault.
I'll go tell him right now.
Just get away from me! Get away from me! I'm not gonna take it personally.
- Take what personally? - How unbelievably flaky you are.
Good, you really shouldnt.
It's just been crazy.
Let's get some coffee.
You know, I really can't.
I have Chem Lab tonight.
Do you want to hang out later after your Chem Lab? Um, I really can't tonight.
Elena.
You know Hunan Pan over on Hudson? Yeah.
That's where we're going tomorrow night.
If youre not there, I Will never bother you again.
Okay.
Tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night.
You did what?! How about you not make me feel worse than I already do? - No.
But this is serious.
- Thanks.
I know.
Mr.
Rogalski wasn't in his office.
I'm gonna go and tell him first thing tomorrow morning.
Okay, wait a minute.
Don't move.
Where are you going? Do you know what this is? The Resident Advisor handbook.
You're not gonna read that to me, are you? The one chapter they force us to read - all about cheaters.
I- I'm not a cheater.
I'm just warning you that plagiarism is a big deal in college.
Okay? We're talking definite suspension, and that stays on your record.
Just for rewriting Ben's paper? No.
Yeah.
You and Ben.
Noel, t-this is gonna be fine.
Look, if you don't handle this right, you're gonna be in real trouble.
So what are you suggesting? For now, don't do anything.
Okay? I'll go and see what I can find out.
* I know its hard * * Maybe youre just being a little * * bit too hard on yourself * You talk to Rogalski? No, not yet.
I-- but I'm gonna-- - * I know it seems * - Don't.
Just don't tell him anything.
- I need a copy of that essay you turned in for me.
- Why? - * I know there ain't nothing * - Because I'm gonna take care of this myself.
* left for you here * - Just give me the essay.
* Theres a candle in the road * * That I've kept here for you all along * - What are you gonna do? I'm gonna tell him I wrote it.
I don't - I don't think that's such a good idea.
I don't care what you think.
I don't want your advice, and I don't want your help.
Let me just tell them it was my fault.
No, it's not your fault.
It's my fault.
I'm the one that trusted you to turn in my essay.
* Theres only so much you can do * * Without always feeling alone * * I've seen it come * * And I know that underneath it all * * is a love thats waiting to come alive * Cheating is very serious business.
Yes, sir.
I know that.
Do you ever go on the Internet? Yes, sir.
I actually have my own Web page.
Noelcrane.
com if.
.
if you-- if - if You can purchase term papers online.
Did you know that? Yes, I did.
I saw that.
Of course, I've never done it.
Thank you.
This, uh, person I know, who's concerned with - with the issue of cheating, uh, is curious what the process is.
Cheating of any kind is unacceptable.
I totally agree.
A quarter of our graduating seniors acknowledge some form of academic impropriety.
That's a really high percentage.
And if I have my way, that percentage is going to change.
Right on.
I mean, you know, that's - that's really important.
Do you feel comfortable telling me the name of this person? Uh, the person who asked me about what happens when the university finds out that someone has cheated, that person? No.
You don't feel comfortable? Not very.
So Is it one of your advisees? No.
Not at all.
Sir, it's - it's a friend who's concerned about another friend.
That's the truth.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to step up and take your medicine.
Why are you telling me this? Here's what I suggest, umNoel.
You tell this concerned friend of yours that if he or she is caught turning in a paper that he or she did not write, I will make an example of that person.
Felicity: What do you mean, its a disaster? If he's doing this, all right-- If - if he's pretending he wrote this - If he's saying he wrote it, there's a whole tribunal thing.
- What do you mean, Like a court? - Yeah.
I mean, okay.
- Either way, it's bad.
- If he says he didn't write it - even if you admit why you did it, then you're in trouble.
If he says he wrote it, then they're gonna grill him, ask him a bunch of questions about things I'm guessing he doesn't have the answers to.
You're right.
This is a disaster.
You gotta talk him out of it.
Ben hates my guts.
Yeah.
Can - Can I be honest? You would, too.
Sort of.
Look, get someone to talk to him, okay? Someone he'll listen to, someone who'll convince him to just be honest about what happened.
- Someone who's not me.
- Please? - No.
- Will you just talk to him? - No! - I'll owe you one.
- Don't you already owe me one? Excuse me? Um, I'm looking for ''Solaris'' or ''Solyaris.
'' I think it's Tarkovsky.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
You know, your movie's playing at the Mercer tomorrow night.
Yeah.
I'm renting it for after, just, you know, in case I miss something.
Don't worry.
You're gonna do fine.
Excuse me? Just remember, the celebration of human values and the power of love in a hostile or indifferent universe.
Hell eat it up.
Who? This guy's in film school, right? Your date, he's undergrad.
He has some Elmore Leonard thing on 16 he did summer after high school that he's very touchy about.
- How am I doing? - You're freaking me out.
So, of course, you have to share in his love of cinema.
So he starts with some '70s standard, uh, maybe "Chinatown"? - ''The Exorcist.
'' - Freakin'.
But now he's moved on to something a bit more serious, and you're not sure if you're up to it.
Kind of.
Hey, you know, don't sweat this.
This is standard freshman courtship ritual.
Just remember, he's trying to impress you and not the other way around.
That's $2.
50.
I wish they had, like, Cliffs Notes for these movies.
They don't.
They have me.
I'm P.
J.
Late fee's 2 bucks a day.
Can I talk to you for a second? Uh, sure, but I - I was just gonna go out - N- No.
What are you doing? - Is the elevator gonna be okay like this? - Don't worry about the elevator.
I need your advice about men.
You need my advice about men? I had my life pretty well figured out.
That goes for the guys in my life, too, the ones I usually get with.
Things are pretty clear from the start.
They have needs, I have needs.
And sex happens When it happens.
And when I wanted to end something with a guy, it's the same thing.
It'sthere's no guilt, no tears, nothing.
I just squash it and kill it dead.
And then you eat it? Are you mocking me? UmI'm just not exactly sure I understand your problem.
Blair.
I spent one night with the guy.
Now he's around all the time.
He wants to have Chinese food.
You know what I'm saying? And I - I can't Kill it dead? You're mocking me.
No, uh, I just mean that maybe you don't want to.
I just mean maybe you should consider that you might actually enjoy his company.
Just one possible theory.
Oh, and, uh, next time you want to talk I don't have to kidnap you.
Yeah, I mean Yeah.
Cool.
You get it.
Can you get that? Yeah.
Hi.
Hey.
I didn't buzz.
There was a guy coming in with a bird.
Alex, yeah.
He trains birds for commercials and stuff.
Oh.
That's C- Can I come in? Sure.
Hey, this is great.
I "m sorry I missed your party.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Marzipan boxer? - What? My new business idea.
Oh.
Uh, thanks.
Umlook.
I know this is - is probably none of my business, and, you know, we don't even actually know each other, really but Felicity told me your strategy, and I have to say, I think it's a pretty dangerous strategy.
well, I'm glad she told you about this whole thing.
She didn't know what to do.
You know, look, thanks, but I'm doing okay.
I, uh, I talked to the Dean of Students.
Don't worry.
I didn't - I didn't use your name.
Umbut I asked him hypothetically, you know, what might happen.
They're not gonna kick me out over this.
If you say you wrote that paper, and they found out you lied, at the very least, you're suspended for a year.
What do you care if I'm gone? I know Felicity cares.
And if they don't kick you out, they're gonna put something on your record you won't like.
Do me a favor and go tell Felicity I got the message, all right? all she wants to do is help.
I don't want her help! This is amazing! all I want - if you're curious - is for her to leave me alone, all right? I can take care of this myself.
With all respect, okay, I don't think you can.
You're wrong! And Felicity is crazy, all right? And I'm busy trying to learn all that stuff I wrote in my paper.
- Bite his head off.
- What? It's candy.
no, thanks, all right? Man #1: lf I go, you have to believe me.
Man #2: Good.
I believe you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- So are we still on for the movie? - Yeah, sure.
- Great.
Okay.
- You okay? - Yep, yeah! I'm studying.
- For tomorrow night.
- What? For tomorrow night? I picked up the tickets early.
I thought there might be a line.
- Oh, umto get in? - Yeah.
Oh, and I should warn you, um, it's a little long.
Yeah.
It's a classic.
Right.
So who cares? See you tomorrow night.
Okay.
* Once I could see, but now I am blind * * Once I could hear, but now everythings quiet * * Needles and pins * So tomorrow morning, Ben faces off With Mr.
Rogalski - * But everythings open now * - and two other professors.
* Everythings fine * 9:00 A.
M.
Have you seen Ben? No, but Rogalski just went in there.
He was with two other professors.
I think one of them is Linda Cohen.
Who's that? Head of the English department.
Oh, God, you gotta convince him not to do this.
Okay, before you go in there, just listen to me.
That was a horrible thing what I did.
I know that.
So just let me take the blame, and you won't even get in trouble.
No.
I don't want you to say anything.
Why? It doesn't make any sense.
The quote you added, the Bosworth thing was that from ''Anthology''? Was it? Yeah.
Ben Don't do this.
In your paper, you allude to Browning's use of dramatic irony.
Could you please define that term? Sure.
UmBrowning uses irony to help tell the story.
could you define it, please? Yes.
Irony It's complicated.
Take your time.
- How's he doing? - I can't tell.
- Noel: Is he in there already? - 15 minutes.
Can I talk to you? Are you okay? - Yeah.
I'll just - I'll call you after.
- Okay.
I'm gonna be in my room.
I'm halfway through "Solyaris, Which is like Hell.
- So Dean Allison called me.
- Why? He's convinced I wrote the paper.
- What? - Yeah, he was trying to scare me into confessing, but he went into this incredibly long speech, okay? And basically told me that once the disciplinary board gets involved, they examine the student's entire record, and that's including application materials.
I don't understand.
all right.
- You said Ben lied on his application essay, right? - Yeah.
Okay, if they read that and realize he never had a brother I mean, lying to get in forget suspension.
- He's - He's expelled.
- Okay.
What the hell do I do? You gotta go in there and tell them the truth.
I don't know.
I do.
I know.
I'm a big believer in the fact that the truth comes out whether you tell them or not.
Thats thats exactly what I'm trying to say.
That's - That's one of the reasons the poem is so Because you think that he's talking to you, but then you find out that he's talking to somebody else, an envoy.
Right? Does - I mean, does that answer your question? Yes.
Could you better explain your connection between "My Last Duchess" and "Hamlet"? Umuh, both the poem and the play use a literary technique that, uh, engages the - the reader or the viewer uh, by making them an active participant.
well, in ''Hamlet,'' his monologues, uh, solil soliloquies, make you a character in the play, just like, uh, Browning does by having the duke talk right to the reader.
I would like you to compare and contrast ''My Last Duchess'' with Browning's ''Count Gismond.
'' Uh, ''Count Gismond.
'' Sorry.
This room's a little bit, uh - It's a little bit nerve-racking.
I'm sorry.
The narrator.
It's the narrator.
I didn't write the paper.
Oh, my God.
Then who did? I bought it.
I bought it off some guy.
I don't even know his name.
I'm sorry.
Um I wrote it.
You wrote Ben's essay? Umwell, I - I rewrote it.
He - He didn't ask me to.
It was my decision, my mistake, and, umI just turned it in without him even knowing it.
So I'm - I'm the one whos in trouble here? You rewrote Ben's paper? Yes, sir.
Without his asking you to? That's right.
Do you mind my asking why? Because I'm stupid! All right? Obviously, that's the answer, all right? She read my paper.
It wasn't good enough.
So Ben Covingtons an idiot.
all right? That's the lesson for today.
Mr.
Covington.
Hey.
I-- I just wanted to let you know that I made sure they knew you had nothing to do with it, so I mean, if anyone's going to be expelled, it - it'll be me.
Why'd you do it? I mean, when you read my paper, how bad was it? It wasn't bad.
ButI'm a geek.
I'mI'm a teacher's pet, and I was just trying to add some language to it, you know, to get you a better grade, which is loathsome, I know.
You had a million friends in high school, and - and you were amazing at sports, and you were so popular but I had one thing - my classes.
I knew how to take tests and write papers.
I never should have assumed you needed help whenyou really didn't.
The last thing I ever wanted to do was to make you feel anything less than amazing.
well, thanks.
I just - I had to talk to you.
Yeah.
Good night.
Hello.
There was a wait list for reserved reading.
Um, there were only two copies.
But the guy said if I left, I would lose my spot in line.
Nah, it was fine.
I met this guy.
He was waiting for his Peking duck.
You know, it takes forever to make that.
He works for this company over on Lafayette that manufactures lawn supplies, mostly nozzles.
Nozzles? Actually, they just assemble the nozzles.
They used to make them there.
''Die cast,'' it's called, but now it's cheaper to get the brass from overseas.
- Blair.
- From Taiwan.
I said I was sorry.
Actually, you didn't, which is fine.
And I could take this as the big message and walk away, assume that other night was just nothing, except I like the dancing sandwich maker who hates Halloween, the jazz freak who thinks Charlie Parker is overrated.
I can even handle the compulsive overachiever who waits three hours at the library for some stupid reserve reading.
That was reading I needed to do.
The Elena I do have some trouble with, however, is the one who pushes people away because she's so damn scared to admit she might actually like them and is dumb enough to think that nobody gets that, even though everyone gets that.
That's such a bunch of crap.
I brought you some orange chicken.
I really loved it.
You did? The whole thing? Yeah.
You mean, for that tiny window of time that your eyes were actually open? I didn't fall asleep.
- Oh, God, was I snoring? - In my ear.
I was gonna wake you, but I-I kind of liked you snoring softly in my ear.
Okay, I need to explain this.
No, no, no, you don't.
The movie's endless.
No, umyou don't understand.
I already saw it.
I wanted to understand it, so I justyou know I didn't want you to think I was an idiot.
So I rented it.
well, I'd be lying if I said that I-I didn't fall asleep a little myself.
You're saying that to make me feel better.
Come on, it's-- it's not a big deal.
It's a movie.
So what? Zack, you really like movies.
I really like you.
I had a long conference with professors Cohen and McCardle.
We debated going to Dean Allison with this issue.
Professor Cohen felt, in particular, that this should be treated just like any other case of academic impropriety.
But I argued against it.
I felt this was more a case of poor judgment.
So neither of you will go before the university board, and you won't be expelled.
Thank you.
Of course you're both gonna fail this paper, Which will have a severe effect on your final grade.
By the Way, Ben, I read your original paper.
You would have gotten a ''B.
'' Ben! Ben.
I know that I've said this, and I'll keep saying it, but I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I should go.
* Am I confused? * * Well, I dont know * Sally: Dear Felicity, I've spent the last couple nights camping out - * What should I do? - in the desert by myself.
- * Well, I dont know * - Emmett and I were sort of going a little too fast, so getting away just helps clear my head.
* Should I distrust that I "m feeling this much? * - * Could this be love? * - It's interesting what you did for Ben.
I mean, you have these expectations for who he is, - * Well, I dont know * - for what you want him to be.
Thats just normal.
- * What are these things * - I have those same expectations for Emmett, - * that wont let go? * - Which I know is unfair.
He isnt perfect.
- * Am I chasing clouds * - He isnt John.
* That I cant hold? * * I cant decide * Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem.
It has this central question - * Could this be love? * - Is it harder to count on someone or to know that youre being the one counted upon? * What would I do if my dreams all came true? * * What would you say * - * if I shared them * - Anyway, theres this part that goes "If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.
" * To do? * - Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.