Five Bedrooms (2019) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Previously, on five bedrooms
Ben
I just keep thinking about us.
I just didn't know how you felt.
All these years, I
swear, if you'd just told me
This is Pete, mom, one of our neighbours.
You haven't told her.
There's another day of the Test,
and I'm absolutely going to tell you.
Why don't you just take the time you need?
What, so that's it, then?
It's my mom, I think she's had a stroke.
Is there anyone else you want?
You have contacts, maybe Pete?
Pete doesn't want to be with anyone who's
not there.
Yeah, that's not me.
So I need to tell you something.
I have feelings for you.
Mate, I'm seeing someone.
I fell, again, for
a guy who apparently is in love with someone else.
What?
We can't do this anymore.
This is about Ainsley.
I just don't think I'm feeling
what you're feeling.
I'm not sure what I was expecting from
life on the brink of 50.
But it was not a backyard serenade from a
wounded lover.
Happy Bir
It's tomorrow, Colin.
I know that.
I was just calling to say what are you
going to do on the last day of your 40s?
I'll be interviewing relief receptionists.
Thanks for asking.
What is that noise?
A few decades ago, this would have been a
dream come true.
But in this house, with Ainsley's heart on
the line, and Liz's eyes all over me,
it was closer to a nightmare.
Is this some sort of acting out?
No, it's just real digging.
What are you digging for?
Pipes, checking the drainage.
Are you trying to communicate with me?
I don't know what I'm trying to do.
I'm still trying to process.
Have you considered pouring your feelings
into alcohol and sex
like a normal person?
I don't want to have sex
like a normal person.
I want to do that with you.
Clearly, I wasn't handling the situation
well.
And clearly, I wasn't the only one who
could see that.
I have taken the liberty of Googling
some inspiration for someone's birthday tomorrow.
First contender, 50 Shades of Grey.
No.
Nothing sexual, just a very sophisticated
silver colour palette.
50 greatest achievements.
20 bucks says you won't even make it to
double digits.
50 favourite songs.
If I have to acknowledge the day in any way
it'll be a quiet dinner with you and the immediate family.
No offense.
No, that is offensive.
I mean, what if the other housemates want
to celebrate with you?
I've already spoken to Harry and Ben.
I thought he might bring his girlfriend
along.
Has anyone met her yet?
How long have you been standing there?
Not that long.
I think they might be mine.
Do your undies look like this?
I think these might be yours too.
Right.
That's it.
What?
We are not doing this here.
What?
We are not having this conversation in a
high traffic area.
Come here.
What?
Stop it!
Obviously, I deeply regret that you saw
what you did.
But I cannot take this constant passive
aggressive judgement anymore.
Every time I turn around, there you are.
Well, I live here and I'm currently
unemployed, so
And why is that?
How can a fashion play with perfect
eyebrows and 12 degrees be unemployed?
I'm trying.
Are you?
I mean, are legal jobs that hard to come by?
At the moment, yes.
Maybe you need to lower your standards
and try a little harder.
Thankfully, there was one part of my life
that was totally predictable.
Well, so I thought
Oh, Heather.
Morning.
Has Colin spoken to you at all,
by any chance?
About what?
I just wanted to let you know that it was
completely unintentional.
And I can't remember if you're supposed to
swipe left or right.
But I accidentally matched with Colin
online.
Oh, you didn't know he was dating.
The key is to keep it simple.
Or is the key to just avoid doing what she
expressly asked you not to do?
I understand that's what you heard.
Also what she said.
Yes, but she'll be equally affronted
if we do nothing.
Ben?
Do you think Manju might be well enough
to come?
It's hard to say.
She's actually handling rehab better than you'd think.
Yeah, but I'm not sure that it's safe to
unleash her in a social situation just yet.
Social situation?
Yeah, we're planning Heather's surprise
party.
Maybe you could invite your girlfriend.
Oh, I would love to have, Ains,
but unfortunately my lady friend and I are no longer.
Oh, Ben, I'm sorry.
Yeah, cheers.
I'm in a pretty dark place.
Just going to keep busy, occupy the mind.
I might be missing something pretty obvious
here, but, um, what exactly are you doing?
It's a fair question.
I'm just having a look around.
All good so far.
So should we leave you to it?
Probably.
Did you know he'd broken up with his
lady friend?
I did not.
Can't just use your keys willy-nilly,
Heather.
You've dyed your hair.
No, I haven't.
Step into the light.
No.
Because you dyed your hair.
Because it's cold.
I've seen the internet dating profile.
Felt a twinge, did you?
What?
You jealous?
What?
No.
I came here out of the goodness of my heart
to tell you that you are 80% chin in your
profile picture.
How do you think you look?
Prancing around with your hot,
young tradie.
There was nothing going on between me and
Ben.
He is the spitting image of me ten years ago.
Oh yeah, look.
Remember the holiday in Sale?
Your hair had only just started to go.
You can hardly tell on that angle.
It was a great weekend, wasn't it?
I mean, it's false advertising,
but you can always
apologise if anyone wants
to meet you face to face.
I'm not going to change my profile
picture, Heather.
I'm trying to help you.
I don't need help.
I've been meaning to delete my account.
I swear to God, I'll do it now.
It's on the
Well
Your photo wasn't that bad.
I see what you mean about the angle,
though.
It's more flattering.
You're right.
You're always right.
I'm not.
Truth is, I don't know what I'm doing most
of the time.
I don't know where I am.
I miss Bruce and the boys and
I think I'm starting to miss you.
Love
I think I've given you a a bum steer.
I'm off the Tinder because I've met
someone.
It's Rhonda.
I know, Col.
She told me she accidentally swiped you.
Well, yes, initially it was a slip of the
finger,
but since then, it's been very
premeditated.
She was so nervous about telling you.
I mean, we both were.
We couldn't work out who you'd prefer to
hear it from.
Do not tell Rhonda one word of what was said
here today.
Not a word.
I didn't have a leg to stand on.
I left Col.
He had every right to find love.
I told myself, take a breath, suck it up,
and be the bigger person.
That lasted all of 15 seconds.
I am so sorry.
I respect you as a colleague and as a dear
friend.
Colin's been on the phone.
And I had no idea that you were still in
love with him.
I am not in love
He's unbelievable.
I went there to help him trick someone
into dating him.
He said that you begged him to take you back.
I did the exact opposite of that.
Sorry, just before this goes any further,
I just wanted to flag that
What are you doing here?
I'm applying for the receptionist
position.
Oh, you are you fucking kidding me.
Elizabeth is our 11 AM.
You are offensively overqualified.
It's answering phones and passing on
messages.
That's it.
A well-trained monkey could do it.
Sorry, Rhonda.
You're the one that told me I needed to
lower my standards.
Sorry, Rhonda.
Look, perhaps we should reschedule
at a more opportune time,
or I'm happy to sit out
the interview if that helps.
Have you already signed in?
Let's get this over with.
I'm very much a people person.
That's just a lie.
And I thrive in a collaborative
environment.
You'd be answering phones on your own.
I'm equally adept at working unsupervised.
What a refreshing attitude.
You don't belong here.
I'm very keen to begin as soon as
possible.
In fact, I wondered whether
there might be a possibility
of the position extending
beyond the six weeks.
No.
Yes.
Oh, I'm taking some long service leave
going on a driving tour of Tasmania, and
well, there is a chance
I might need to just extend the trip.
Oh, my God.
You're going with Colin.
He's been trying to get me on that fucking
ferry for ten years.
Oh, God, Heather, I'm so sorry.
This is really awkward for me.
I had no intention of developing any
feelings at all.
And then we started talking.
I never meant to jeopardise
our friendship.
I won't go to Tasmania.
I'll call everything.
I'll call everything off.
Excuse me, Elizabeth.
I'm grossly overqualified.
But I need the money.
You know it's going to end in tears.
You and I are polar opposites.
Chalk and cheese, night and day,
good and evil.
Which one of us is evil?
And I always thought that you and I were
the most alike in the house.
Heather, I can start right now.
Rhonda's in no state to train anyone.
She won't come out of that toilet for a good
half hour.
So tomorrow?
Just whenever you feel ready.
Nice and easy.
Take your time.
Excellent.
Well done.
How do you feel?
I feel a bit wobbly.
Do you need to sit down?
No thanks.
I need to walk.
There you go.
Nice and slow.
Can we try one more?
No.
I need to sit down.
I'm ready to go home.
I know you feel ready.
Mom, we have to consider the possibility
you might meet this chair a while longer.
Do you remember when you used to talk
about living in an apartment?
No.
You liked the idea of having views of the
MCG, remember?
No.
There are care facilities with staff on
hand 24 hours a day.
Do you want strangers to look after your
own mother?
I want you to be happy and healthy
and I'm trying to be realistic.
I will not be left to wither in a zoo full
of broken old white people.
I am going home.
The first morning of my 50s,
the serenade had stopped.
A day earlier, I would have called that progress.
But lying there, freshly 50, it just felt
like silence.
Hey.
I have updated ICAL and I've synched with
all devices.
Well done.
Don't want to make today about me,
but I am not in a great place.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, because Rhonda's left me.
But I am man enough to ring the mother of
my children on her half-century.
Happy birthday.
Clearly, our best years are behind us.
Thank you.
So what have you got lined up for today?
I'm kicking off by assessing Harry's mother's home
for wheelchair viability
and then go to work.
If you get a minute, could you reach out
to Rhonda?
She'd appreciate it.
So would I.
I'll talk to her today.
You really upset her, love.
I'm hanging up, Col.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Thank you, thank you.
That was lovely.
We've got three more verses.
No, that was a good amount.
Liz didn't want a bar of it.
Happy birthday.
Ben did want to be here,
but I just couldn't find him.
Maybe he's with his girlfriend.
At what point does this become a fire hazard?
Hurry up and blow them out.
Who's idea was it
50-fucking candles?
Whoa!
OK, thank you.
Listen, I've cancelled dinner with the family.
I've decided that what I want for my
birthday is to pretend it's not my birthday.
I suppose you don't want any birthday cake
then.
Don't be like that.
Thanks.
Listen, I'll be ready to go in ten.
Okay.
Born in 1969.
Her name was Heather.
She's so fine.
She's a mother and a wife.
She's the love of my life.
Just to be clear, we are still very much
throwing her a surprise party tonight.
You sure?
400%, yeah.
I really appreciate you taking the time to
do this, especially on your birthday.
It'll probably be the highlight of my day.
Okay, Harry.
You're going to need a ramp there.
There and there.
This is where she spends most of her time.
This is too narrow.
Microwave's too high.
How often does she use the back burners?
Every day.
What's upstairs?
Her bedroom.
Of course it is.
Well, basically you'd have to gut the
whole thing.
Even with grab rails, she's going to need
help getting in and out of the bath.
Harry, she can't stay here on her own.
She's going to need round-the-clock care,
at least initially.
You might need to consider some other
options.
Life just isn't fair, is it?
I really should have been
preparing for this, you know
for what this would feel like.
No one's ever prepared.
For anything.
Dawes Court Aged Care.
Recreation Room, putting you through.
Dawes Court Aged Care.
Please hold.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Heather,
Happy birthday to you.
Hip hip
Hooray!
Hip hip
Hooray!
Hip hip
Hooray!
Thanks, thank everyone.
What's this?
Oh, we looked up what song was number one
the day you were born.
And it's "I Started A Joke".
We thought that would make you laugh,
didn't we?
Thank you, thanks, thanks everyone.
Have you got a minute?
Ah, yes.
Thank you, thanks.
Rhon, ah, thank you for the song and the cake.
It's from the good shop.
Yeah, I can tell.
This, ah,
This business with Colin.
Is it serious?
It was.
He's actually made you happy.
Yes.
He's a kind, energetic man.
He's dynamic and conscientious, and
he has opened me up like a flower.
Spiritually and physically.
Sexually.
Rhon, too much information.
He makes me think.
And he makes me laugh.
If you've found or if you think you can find
something with Colin,
I mean, obviously I'm going to struggle to
understand how.
But don't let that stop you.
If you want to be with him,
you go for it.
Do you really mean that?
I really do.
Oh, good, thank you.
Yep, don't thank me.
Sorry to interrupt.
Just how do I transfer a call to the
nurse's station?
Hash key
I'll show you.
That was very classy.
How much did you hear?
Very classy.
Hey.
Thank you.
I was simply recounting the facts.
If I want to park my car
over my own driveway,
that's my prerogative, Marty.
How many spliffs have you had today?
Oh, sorry, Pete.
Not on duty, mate.
Oh.
Sorry, I'm late.
No, we just got here.
Do you need a hand or?
No, I'm good thanks.
Timmy's not coming.
You're our favorite anyway.
Come in.
Up you go.
Hey, Louie, how you going.
Oh, you got it?
Oh, thank you.
Heather.
What?
It's knock off time.
You go ahead, I might be here for a while.
Well, actually, I was hoping to maybe get
a lift home with you.
Liz, I'm not going home tonight.
How come?
I booked myself a room
with the Best Western.
Which one?
The local one.
And you're planning on sleeping here,
aren't you?
Yes, I am.
OK, that is beyond tragic even for you.
And it's not happening.
End of discussion.
I can't drive. I'm over the limit.
I will drive.
Come on, shoes and beers. Quick.
Don't tell the missus
You know, seeing you in your natural
habitat, I feel closer to you.
I mean, you're making a real difference to
the quality of people's lives.
Please stop.
You know what?
50's not even that old.
I mean, Nicole Kidman has been 50
for a good year or two.
What are you, 39, 40?
You don't even know you're alive.
Neither do you.
You are terrifyingly sharp.
You win every argument that you start
and you're still young enough to do
whatever you want to do.
Who were you before the boys?
I've got no idea.
What?
Then find out.
All this finding yourself bullshit,
what if I don't want to find myself?
Well, then, lose yourself.
Go traveling, go overseas.
I hate flying.
Well, then, travel around Australia.
I don't know why you put so many obstacles
between yourself and what you want.
I do not put obstacles in my own way.
You totally do.
Give me one example.
Ben.
That is a beautiful dress.
Thank you, Colin.
Is it chiffon?
Maybe you should.
I'm not.
Is that beautiful woman?
Yeah, French.
It is French.
Hello.
Hello.
Welcome, you must be Rhonda.
Yes, I am.
I'm Ainsley, Heather's friend.
Oh, lovely to meet you.
Do you know Heather talked about you all
the time when you were in the granny flat?
All the time.
I'll take that and pop it over there.
Hello.
How are you.
What is wrong with you?
You were married to the woman for
two decades, Colin.
Technically, we're still married.
Why
would you choose her 50th birthday
to flaunt your new squeeze?
Heather did something selfless
and beautiful today.
She's given Rhonda and I her blessing,
and we're here together tonight to honour that
in good faith.
Uh, Heather's travelling.
She is, she's en route.
Everyone, charge your glasses
and let's head to the front door.
It's like a military exercise.
OK, positions everyone. Get down.
Hey, you must be Rhonda.
I'm Ben.
Oh, hi Ben.
Lovely to meet you.
Yeah, good to meet you too.
Ben's part of the commune.
Well rumour has it that you two
are very much in love.
I'm thrilled for you.
Good on you.
At the end of the day, what else is there
aside from love?
That is so true.
Ben, I wanted to apologise for insinuating
you were with Heather.
Bloody ridiculous really, so
Oh, no need, mate.
Tell you what, you're looking fit, Col.
Like you're getting younger.
We could be twins.
Is that her?
Yes, they're here.
Shhhh!
Surprise!
It's just us, sorry.
It's just us.
Okay, well quickly, Heather's traveling.
Oh, could I get a hand
getting mom's chair up?
Yeah.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
It would have been rude not to invite him.
Oh, all right.
So, one, two, three.
There we go.
Oh, Manju, I'm so glad you came.
Mom, you remember Pete.
Lovely to see you, Mrs. Sethi.
How did you get on with the time of
security?
I no longer have a home.
Okay, let's reset.
They'll be here any minute.
Oh, I don't know how long
I can keep doing this.
Oh, my goodness.
You'll be right, Marty.
Now you can deny it
until you're blue in the face.
And I will.
But I've seen it with my own eyes.
Your entire complexion changed
whenever Ben walked into the room.
For some unfathomable reason, you
just declared that there was no future.
There are a shitload of reasons,
but right at the top is the fact
that it would break Ainsley's heart.
That's not a reason and you know it.
Well, Ainsley develops a crush
every second day.
So basically you're saying I'm the problem.
Yeah, clearly.
Pretty much across the board.
Right.
I'm just saying it's okay
to look after yourself once in a while.
You know, to do what you want to do.
Follow your heart.
Well I tried that,
and that was having sex with Ben,
twice a day,
for a month straight.
And as electrifying as it was.
Heather, I'm going to stop you there.
Just between you and me,
I have not been fucked like that
in 20 years.
Oh!
Surprise!
I knew it.
I knew it.
And I said it from the start.
And you lied to me.
And you lied to the boys.
This is why you left, isn't it?
You found a younger version of me and you
didn't have the guts to tell me.
Maybe we should head down to the lounge
for some canapes.
Ains, Ains, please,
just, just open the door.
Let me explain.
Ains, you have every right to be angry.
What about my anger?
Go show it to Rhonda.
Yeah.
I'm not angry,
but I'm hurt.
You just sat there the whole time and said
nothing.
You never say nothing to me.
Ains, please, just, just let me explain.
No, I can't hear it right now, Heath.
Oh, my God, you knew.
I only found out very recently
and quite by accident, Ainsley.
Ainsley please.
I don't want to have this conversation
through a closed door.
I knew you fancied him.
The day you moved into this house,
I specifically asked you
and you so emphatically denied it.
He's the reason you moved in here,
isn't he?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Sorry to break in, but
it started well and truly
after we'd moved in here.
Mate, it was me.
I was very much the instigator here
because
Fucking hell.
There's no point denying it now, is there.
The truth is, Heather,
I'm in love with you
and I have been for some time.
Oh, my God, Ben.
You told me it was all in my head.
You even told me he was on with Liz to
throw me off the scent.
Mate, I was on with Liz.
Oh, once, very briefly
before we bought the house.
So, you've had a crack at Liz and Heather.
Ainsley's got the hots for you.
You're casting your spell on Harry,
too?
No.
Why would Harry be looking at anyone
anyway?
He's so in love with Pete.
Oh.
Oh! So you're on with the copper.
Oh, that could come in handy.
Harpreet?
Wheel me out of here.
Wheel me out.
You're not gay.
You had many girlfriends.
You were partying late into the night,
flirting your heart out with Prisha.
That wasn't flirting.
Stop pushing me.
I want you to look me straight in the eye.
Just tell me.
Is it true?
It is.
Don't mind me.
Just, um, thank you so much for coming,
Manju.
Harry, there's gluten-free pizzas in the
oven.
We're heading off.
Of course, sorry.
I don't know my own son.
You know me better than anyone,
Mom.
I'm still the same person.
I don't think so.
I wanted to tell you.
I've been trying to.
I just
I don't know how
to help you understand this.
Take me home.
You cannot be home alone yet.
Harpreet, please take me home.
You're a passionate fellow
and I respect that,
but I reckon things have turned out for
the best.
You found a beautiful woman
with Rhonda there.
You know, they say lighting never strikes
twice, but I'll tell you what, mate,
it looks like it does.
Yeah.
You gonna have a crack at Rhonda now?
I see you looking at her.
Col, he's not looking at me.
I'm just trying to figure out why you're
still so upset.
Frankly, so am I.
That's a cryin', cryin' shame
Dad, what are you doing? Go after her!
I just wanna say a few words
to your mother.
I won't be far behind.
Please, dad, she's got a beach house
in Dromana.
And that's a cryin', cryin' shame
20 years, my arse.
Col, I'm sorry.
No, it was really hurtful.
And I think you'll find if you have a
little think about it, just plain wrong.
What about that night at the casino?
Yeah, is it
coming back to you?
You never made that noise before in your
life.
I remember.
And it was magical,
but it was 1998, Col.
Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
I didn't lie.
There was nothing there when you asked me
about him.
But there is now.
There's something between you and Rhonda,
and you're punching
way above your weight there.
You need to go and talk to her
before she works that out.
I got a bit carried away in the card,
but it was coming from the heart.
It doesn't seem really relevant now.
but you never really loved me, honey
You know, I always thought
it was a bit sniffy
five single people under one roof,
but I never expected a four ladies on one
tradie situation.
Who's the fourth lady?
There isn't one.
He miscounted.
Happy birthday, Heather.
Thanks, Pete.
I might head off.
Is anyone going to eat this?
No. No, take it.
Little snack.
Hey, Val.
Can I offer you an escort home?
Thank you, Pete.
Hey, should I call on Ainsley first or Harry?
Let's just give everyone a bit of space.
Those are three words
and they're the same
How many people know?
Just my housemates really.
No one at work knows.
How long have you known?
A really long time.
I so badly wanted to tell you and dad.
It's just as well he's not here
to see this.
All he wanted was to see you settle with
children of your own.
Just wheel me up there.
Stop.
Stop.
I just want to go to bed.
I want to sleep in my own bed.
Mom, there's a flood of stairs in the way.
Please don't.
Don't get up.
What are you just going
to will the stairs away, are you?
Just defy the facts, defy the science.
Ains?
Are you okay?
When I saw your name on my phone,
I thought, oh, she's bummed on me again.
But you meant to call?
I think I did.
If I had told you how I felt all those
years ago, how would you have reacted?
I probably would have kissed you.
Heather?
Go away!
I realize you're probably very
keen to lose consciousness right now,
but before you do, Ben and I
have something for you.
We have pizza.
Headphones.
Noise-canceling headphones.
Put them on.
Didn't think it was a real thing.
They're not even turned on.
I'm actually speaking really loud.
And now I'm not.
And now I am again.
Thank you.
For mine, you've got to come with me.
Righto, you've just got to wait there.
It's a zen garden.
I thought the best thing I could give you
is a bit of space.
This is the most thoughtful gift
anyone's ever given me.
A minute ago,
I didn't even know people like you existed.
I'm not proud of the way I shut you down.
When I said I wasn't interested in you,
I was lying through my teeth.
And you deserved better than that.
I was so interested.
I was scared shitless.
I still am.
I want to be with you, Heather,
because I love being around you, and
it's you that I think about all the time.
And I know that it's complicated with Ains
and Colin and Rhonda, and the boys.
It's not about any of that.
I can't be with anyone.
I've got to figure out
what I'm doing with myself.
It's allright.
It's allright.
Happy birthday.
Bright young sun
Looks like the morning's come
I know you're watching this.
Not watching.
I just, um
I thought you might like this.
Thank you.
And listen, um
Thank you for trying to pump me up earlier.
I wasn't trying to pump you up.
Yeah you were. It was uncomfortable and
a bit weird.
But you hit a few raw nerves.
Did I?
Maybe.
Just the, uh
The 'losing yourself' bullshit.
That's it.
That's all you get.
In you I found my home from home
I left all that I knew for
a love that I know
And that grip you prized me from
I was already trying to lose
It was holding me to hold me back from you
Next time on five bedrooms:
Is Mia OK?
She's saying she feels sick and needs to
come home from camp.
Do you need me to go get her?
If you could just pick her up.
Of course I can.
I'll leave right now.
First sleep over.
At the old man's.
I actually have something I have to say to
the house.
Given mom's current situation, I've decided
that I have to move back home permanently.
Oh!
Holy sh
No problem.
Heather.
It's great to see you.
What are you doing here?