Florida Man (2023) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Hi, Delly.
Looks like you got some sun.
It's fun watching people's faces
when they see I'm alive.
- I wonder if this is what Jesus felt like.
- Yeah, don't get used to it.
I'm not letting a good funeral
go to waste.
It should've been yours.
- Where is he?
- Room four.
Look what he did to Benny.
Is Delly with him?
I don't know, but get him out of here.
You have to go too.
I'm trying. I have been since I got here.
My queen got machine gun hips
Better duck once they go off ♪
- Okay, where's the gun? Was Moss in here?
- Maybe, yes.
Pull the fire alarm.
I need to get him out of that room.
- Not working.
- At the moment.
- We have plans, improvements.
- Do you have a gun?
- No.
- Yes.
- Why?
- You do?
Let me borrow it.
I'll give you another thousand.
Follow me.
- Guns and money in the wall?
- That's a very big gun.
You are like Scarface.
There may be a smaller one
in lost and found.
No, that's fine.
Just call the police. Get them here.
- No.
- No police.
- Why not?
- We don't own the motel.
- What?
- We stole it.
We didn't steal it.
After the hurricane,
the owners went back to Ohio and left it.
So we worked here, we had no place to go,
we took the red tag off the door
and said it was ours.
We plan to buy it.
But with no immigration status,
we can't get a loan.
Okay, no cops.
I should've shot you when you were asleep,
when I had the chance.
Wait, when?
The night I found out
you killed my father.
No, I didn't.
Look at you.
"No, I didn't push your father
off a fucking building."
- I didn't know it was your father.
- The last name didn't ring any bells?
Eventually!
And when it did, you said nothing.
'Cause I knew you'd act like this.
How about you? You knew from the top.
I thought you didn't do it.
I gave you the benefit.
- Shut the fuck up in there!
- Don't. Moss.
Shh.
- What the fuck, Iris?
- Get in the car.
- Moss has Delly. She's in danger.
- Shut up.
She's not in danger, you are. Listen.
I didn't know it was your father.
And I didn't kill you.
But I wasn't gonna stick around either.
Just didn't count on you
sending Mike after me like an animal.
It's fine. I needed his help.
- For what?
- The gold.
The pirate treasure?
It's real?
Moss, it's so real.
And after a few days, I cool off.
I always cool off, you know that.
You do. That's true.
And you wrote me that nice obituary.
You saw that, huh?
Yeah.
But I couldn't contact you
because you killed Gil,
so the cops were all over you.
I didn't kill Gil. I had Jimmy do it.
You think I'd shove a guy down a sewer?
I take pride in my work.
- Which included killing my father.
- I realized that as I was saying it.
My bad.
Moss
We're talking about $100 million.
Do you know what that kind of money means?
Means you don't have to run
your dad's business anymore,
live in his house,
have people say, "You only have it all
because your dad gave it to you."
- You can start your own thing.
- People say that?
No more listening to your sister.
Sorry. I like Dori, but she's a bitch.
So why'd you take the computer stick thing
out of my safe?
Insurance.
In case you came after me.
- Okay. Now give it back.
- I don't have it.
I need that computer stick, though.
- Did you come here for that or for me?
- I didn't know you weren't dead.
I came to find out what Mike is up to.
And probably kill him,
which I'm getting to next.
Well, don't.
Why?
Because I don't know where the gold is.
You can't get him to tell you?
What do you think
I've been doing down here?
I am working this guy as hard as I can,
and you show up at exactly the wrong time.
I'm doing this for us, Moss.
Just sit tight.
For us? Really?
Yeah. Always.
After tonight,
you can kill him all you want.
When did you get a wire on her?
- That's your question?
- Yes.
- I'd have a lot of others.
- When?
This morning at Sonny's.
- So when we were talking at The Breakers
- I knew about the gold.
- And you just let me talk?
- Let you lie, you mean?
The gold wasn't relevant to your inquiry.
I can understand you
getting killed over a woman.
- But a pirate treasure?
- I'm not getting myself killed.
Do you need me to go back to where
she tells her boyfriend to murder you?
The guy has a gun on her.
She'll say anything to stay alive.
- I know she will.
- You heard, Moss killed her father.
You think she'd be with the guy
after that?
I don't know, maybe some women
stay longer than they should.
Okay.
- Let me make it right.
- How?
You have him on tape connected to
Gil's murder and killing Delly's father.
- But it's not admissible.
- I can use that to get a judge.
You can't.
You're out of town. You bugged a citizen.
That tape will get you in jail before him.
Designate me as your authorized party.
I'll get him on tape,
and I'll get you a confession you can use.
If you're doing this as a grand gesture
No, I am the man you thought I was.
I'm not the man you think I am.
I'm gonna need that back.
We saw you.
Drive up. We saw you drive up
and wanted to ask you a question.
Tyler, there's more bags in the car.
I just made toast.
Can you get the bags, please?
- Yeah, hey.
- Hey, Pats. Talk to your brother?
Not today.
I called him
to see if there's anything he can't eat.
- Does he have a corn thing?
- Deacon, maybe we do it another night.
No, we don't know when
we'll get another chance. Love you.
I ran into the neighbors.
They asked if you can babysit tonight.
- I know it's last minute, so before
- I'll do it.
What?
I'll do it. What time?
- Um, six.
- Okay.
Okay.
Thirty-two down
is "ewer." E-W-E-R.
You can read that upside down?
Oh, you're her.
Kaitlin Fox, WFLG-TV.
I know. You are very pretty.
My birth mother watches you every night.
Lacey, I'm investigating a man
who's impersonating a federal employee
and his cell records show him
to be in Coronado Beach.
Okay, what's his name?
He says it's Mike Valentine.
Me!
Me. Uh, it's me you need to talk
to about that.
- It's fine, Andy. I got this.
- Lacey, I can handle this.
Please.
Feel that?
That's nice.
You hungry?
You said you wanna
put your feet in the ocean.
First, call Mike.
Ask him to lunch.
I wanna see his face
when he sees me walk in.
Is that my car?
It was.
You need to take better care
of your things.
- Dunney.
- It's Iris.
They put someone on Moss's man
Jimmy Gascoyne, like you said.
- Meanwhile, guess who skipped town?
- Moss Yankov. Yeah.
He's down here, and I have someone
ready to wear a wire on him,
but I need the captain to authorize it.
Sure. What's the name?
Mike Valentine.
Don't make it weird.
I'll keep my eye on him. Okay? I gotta go.
Hey. Here you go. I found a recorder.
What brand is it?
Did you get some generic one,
like you always do?
Yeah. Why?
To help me put Moss away?
It is exactly the same as a name brand.
I'm taking it back.
Hey, what's up?
Hey, you wanna get some lunch?
Go over the plan for tonight?
I could eat.
There's a place I've wanted to try.
Sonny's.
It's on the river. Wanna meet me there?
Sonny's. I don't know it.
Yelp it. See you in 20.
Oh. Delly called.
Moss doesn't want me to know he's here.
He wants to surprise me, the moron.
You should have backup.
It's okay. She's bringing him to my dad's.
Ray-Ray and Buzz will be there.
I'll get his confession.
What else you got there?
Batteries.
So the centerpiece
in my investigation so far
is how there's no record of that ambulance
being dispatched to the Bungalows.
That license plate number,
that's the ambulance?
Is the? No, that's just
something Mike's dad asked me to run.
I said I wouldn't, but now I am.
Mike Valentine's dad?
Sonny. He was police chief here.
You're kidding.
This could be a family operation.
I mean, could be.
Sonny ran an "import" business
out of his place on the river.
I knew it too,
and that's not something I'm proud of.
Wait, wait, wait.
Where on the river?
Uh, he's right there.
- And the ambulance depot is here.
- Very close.
Oh, my God. Let's say it's drugs.
You move them in on the river,
then you need some way to get them inland.
What if there was a vehicle
with lots of cargo space?
And could move fast
and never get pulled over, not once.
- Officer Boone.
- Andy.
We could be looking at a father-son
drug operation in Coronado Beach.
Yeah, but Mike doesn't live here,
he lives in Philadelphia.
How far does the Intracoastal Waterway go?
- All the way up to Maine.
- Massachusetts.
Do you know what this might be?
A redemption story
for good old Andy Boone.
Okay, but also the story of a cartel
using rogue ambulance services
to move drugs
into unsuspecting communities
up and down the Eastern Seaboard,
reported by Kaitlin Fox,
CNN's new Washington correspondent.
Or New York, I don't care.
We should order lunch.
All I need is Moss on tape,
connected to the murders.
Iris will pick him up,
and we're clear for tonight.
Don't you wonder why he showed up today,
the day of the job?
I think because Dutch didn't check in,
and not, as your tone is implying,
Delly calling him.
But he doesn't need her alive.
So if she walks in that door,
you have to wonder why.
Hey, Moss.
Want a beer?
You told him?
When would I do that?
I've been stuck to you.
If you wanna sneak into town,
don't beat the shit out of my motel owner.
Want a beer, yes or no?
I thought there'd be a door.
How can you make an entrance
without a door?
Hey, pal. Two Coronas, please.
You want anything?
Um, iced tea. Unsweetened.
Do you have unsweetened tea?
How about I make some tea
then neglect to sweeten it, sir?
Great, thank you.
This way.
Got something for you.
Went to a place to buy a shot glass,
and I saw this.
Says your name on it.
Anyway, why shouldn't I shoot you
in your fucking face right now?
You'd get stuck with the check.
You thought you were so fucking smart,
lying to me that she was dead,
causing me emotional distress.
I grieved her.
But I knew you were full of shit,
and now look at your dumb face.
I didn't know I was lying to you.
She looked dead to me.
- I did.
- I wanna hear him tell it.
Then she showed up,
not dead, with a story about gold.
So the second reason you should not put
a bullet in my dumb face
is that I know where the gold is.
And if she said that she does,
she's lying.
She didn't.
I'm Iris. You mind?
Whoa, where you going?
I gotta pee. Is that okay?
Order me some fries.
- You never eat fries.
- I'm stressed.
Hey, detective.
Fuck, fuck, fuck you.
Shit.
So now that we've established
a level of trust,
why don't you say where this gold is
and we could order fish sandwiches
and be friends?
No.
As eager as I am to see you flopping
over the side of Gil's boat in a wetsuit,
telling you would undermine
my goal of staying alive.
What's his boat got to do with it?
A little known secret about shipwrecks
is that they're often found in the ocean.
No, because Gil mentioned a truck.
So what?
Gamblers lie.
Especially if they don't wanna be
chopped up by some amateur
Hey. Call me an amateur again
What else you want me to call it
when the son of Bogo Yankov
makes such a careless mistake?
- Fuck you.
- Mike! There you are.
I've been calling,
but I thought I'd come here
I saw your messages,
but I'm in the middle of something.
Sorry to interrupt.
I'm Deacon, Mike's brother-in-law.
Moss. Nice to meet you, Deacon.
Oh!
This is Delly. Delly, Deacon.
So we're finishing up.
I will call you back.
Sure, I just wanted to make sure
you remember about dinner tonight.
Yeah, tonight, right.
No, it doesn't work anymore. I'm sorry.
If you knew how excited your sister is
to have you and your dad together. Sonny!
You're coming to dinner, right?
Patsy's really looking forward to it.
So this is your father.
That's crazy.
Did you know?
No.
Sorry, Deacon, can't make dinner.
Sure, you can.
- Hey, Deacon, is there room for us too?
- Of course. That would be great.
No, that's rude, Moss.
Deacon just said it's fine.
Yeah, and we also have
this meeting after work.
Plenty of time for both.
Hey, Deacon, can I get your address?
Absolutely.
- Can we bring anything?
- Ah
Just yourselves. Any allergies?
Mango, for some reason.
Otherwise, I'm like a goat.
Okay, great. See you all around 6:00.
Let's have those fries to go, Mike's dad.
I wanna see the ocean.
Baby child, I said a-right now ♪
Don't let a tear, don't let a tear ♪
Don't let a tear
Baby doll, I said ♪
Fall down a-from your eyes ♪
Really sorry. Really sorry.
Hey!
- Ugh!
- Look at this.
It's like a fucking dinosaur.
Okay, put it down.
- Hey.
- Put it down!
- Moss, put it down.
- Ah!
He knows where Patsy lives.
This is his last fucking day on Earth.
He already thinks we're going out
on Gil's boat to get the gold.
I'll get Ray-Ray and Buzz to meet us
when everybody's there.
They'll take care of it.
And then you and I
will go to the real place.
Us and Delly.
Let's see which way she breaks.
And this just came in.
You know that guy
that Sonny had me run a plate on?
- Hmm?
- His name is Marvin Snyder.
He goes by Dutch.
He's got a rap sheet as long as my dinger,
and you know where he's from?
Philadelphia.
- Officer Boone.
- Just Andy.
This is the smoking gun, some kind of
Philadelphia-Florida drug war.
The ambulance driver
who could have exposed it is killed.
And with the Department
of Transportation involved,
that means the federal government
is running drugs on the highways.
That's huge.
Except Mike's not actually with
the Department of Transportation.
Fuck!
So we still got nothing.
That's enough for television.
That Saturday game looks to be a doozy.
Back to you, Kaitlin.
An update to a recent Florida man story
that got a bit of attention from viewers.
Authorities now believe the same man,
pictured here
with the weapon he's known to carry,
is involved in what may be a widespread
drug-running scheme using ambulances.
Police say his last known whereabouts
were in Coronado Beach.
Citizens there are cautioned
not to approach the man
as he should be considered
armed and dangerous.
Son of a bitch. That's my gun.
Hey, those are my shoes!
Hey, put it away. Tyler's inside.
Then Moss will be the only one armed.
No, he won't.
Did Iris know we were coming?
She must be tracking Moss.
Hey!
Get over here.
Keep your fucking shirt on.
Nothing under there.
Maybe she's tracking you.
Hi!
I know you said
don't bring anything, but here.
This is for you.
Where's Tyler?
Babysitting.
Michael, come help me with the drinks.
Ice.
Hey, I know I owe you a call.
More than one.
- How did it go at the hospital?
- Very well. All dead.
You okay?
I'm great.
Is that man in there
the one that was gonna kill you?
- Yeah.
- And you brought him into my home.
I know, but it's okay.
We're just gonna eat and go.
Uh-huh.
And that's the woman
whose death you needed to pin on the EMT?
Yeah.
I wish Tyler was here.
I bet she'd love seeing a zombie.
The trick is, do six minutes on one side,
and five on the other, not six.
Mm-hm.
So I'm gonna say a thing
and your instincts
are gonna tell you to deny it,
but fight that urge.
I know you were fucking Delly.
No, hold on, hold on. Don't lie.
Because I did the math.
Number one, look at her, right?
But two, why was she
in your motel room today?
She was looking
for something she left there.
When?
When you fucked her.
You see that easy math?
Hey, don't feel bad.
You probably hesitated
before you went for it.
How long?
A minute?
Maybe two?
Enough to still see yourself
as a good guy.
Morally upstanding.
Because I've seen plenty
of upstanding guys, Mike.
And I'll tell you something about them.
They always end up
with no leg to stand on.
I hope you didn't fall in love.
She's good when she wants something.
I'll give her that.
Deacon, table's ready.
Excuse me, Patsy.
Is there somewhere I might wash up?
Yeah. Down the hall, to the right.
- Hey, what was that about?
- Nothing. Just talking.
- Okay.
- What?
What's the plan?
For?
For tonight. Fuck. Jesus, for him.
It's all good. I'm handling it.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sick of that answer from you.
Every time you say that,
a fucked-up situation is further fucked,
and I'm more convinced I should never
have involved you in the first place.
Thank your ex-wife
for the wire she planted.
If Moss had found it, I'd be dead by now.
If she hadn't planted it,
we both would be.
How else would I have known
which lie we were telling?
Sometimes it's hard to keep track,
you know.
Hey, Andy.
Hi, Lacey.
Orlando PD got an ID on that guy
who blew up in the porta-potty.
You're telling me this, why?
It's the same guy as the tag number
that you told me to run this afternoon.
Marvin Snyder.
That's funny, huh?
I'll take him out myself.
You're not going on the boat.
You're gonna take him there,
and then you're gonna leave.
I still need to get him
confessing on tape for Iris, anyway.
I care about two things right now,
the clock ticking
on that hole getting cemented over
and that asshole
not being on this Earth when it is.
I have to take responsibility for this.
Listen, I'm all about
your personal growth and development,
but I got Buzz and Ray-Ray standing by.
Then they can stand by
and watch me kill Moss.
Let's eat.
Everything looks so good, Patsy.
Mm. Mm!
To family.
Huh? Yeah.
See, this is what I miss, the family meal.
Mine used to go around
and say what we did today.
But it was just the three of us,
so that didn't take long.
And when we adopted Dori, it was nice,
added someone to really talk to.
And what did your father do?
Mm! This is excellent corn.
- He was a businessman, Deacon.
- What sort of business was he in?
- This is good. Really sweet.
- I noticed that.
- Best corn we've had.
- It is, isn't it?
Yeah. No, it's really, really good corn.
Various businesses, Deacon.
He had his fingers in a lot of pies.
I hear that. Still, it's nice
that he took time away for family.
You know, for Patsy and me,
even though God chose
to bless us with only one child,
we do make sure to have dinner together
as a family every night, right?
We see communication
as the backbone of the family unit.
That was like us. That's what we did.
Oh, my God. Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm sorry, should we talk
about the corn some more,
or does anybody in this house ever listen
to the endless stream of bullshit
coming out of your mouths?
Can all of you shut the fuck up
for the love
of Jesus motherfucking Christ?!
That feels good.
Patsy?
God chose not to bless us
with another child, Deacon?
Because I thought it was the idiot doctor
that delivered our first one
that scarred my uterus.
Is that the same God whose plan it was
that I get knocked up in college,
that Mama get cancer, and that
she blow her fucking head off over it?
Because that God is a psycho.
Look at you two.
Of course, I knew Mama killed herself.
What did you think?
There'd never be someone who knew someone
whose kid would tell me
in front of the whole class?
But I never said anything
because you clearly didn't
wanna talk about it, so I never did,
scared that what was left of us
would fall apart.
But of course it did, anyway.
And off you went.
And you left me here, Michael,
with a grieving man
who just wanted me not to need him.
Now here you are, back,
with more lies, a gambler, and a thief,
so that explains why
this guy is in our lives.
- Patsy
- I don't even care, Michael, really.
I just did what you needed me to.
I killed a man.
And I can't even feel that
because that's what we do.
We just shove it down and down
and learn not to say the truth,
and then not to feel it,
and then you don't feel anything at all.
Everything sounds like
you're at the bottom of a pool,
and you deny, deny, deny
until denial is the only thing
holding us together.
And so when the pressure gets too high,
it collapses, like that
stupid sinkhole out there, and caves in.
I just can't anymore
because I don't wanna end up like you two.
I have to say what's going on,
so maybe it doesn't happen to my family.
Patsy, stop.
I had sex with the choir director
at that retreat in North Carolina.
What?
In a canoe.
Mom?
Tyler.
Sure as shit getting a conure now.
You had her kill a man?
No, just make sure he died.
- You involved your sister in this?
- Not in this.
- Not in anything that concerns you.
- You concern me. A fucking lot.
- "Thank you for a lovely evening"?
- It's polite.
- You don't even hear yourself, do you?
- How does that even work in a canoe?
- What?
- Hey. Let's go.
Take me to Gil's boat.
We'll never get started ♪
And I don't wanna wind up ♪
Being parted brokenhearted ♪
So if you really love me ♪
Say yes ♪
But if you don't, dear ♪
Confess ♪
And please don't tell me ♪
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ♪
If you can't make your mind up ♪
We'll never get started ♪
And I don't wanna wind up ♪
Being parted brokenhearted ♪
So if you really love me ♪
Say yes ♪
But if you don't, dear ♪
Confess ♪
And please don't tell me ♪
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ♪
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ♪
Perhaps, perhaps ♪
Perhaps ♪
Welcome to Taco Bell.
Can I take your order?
Fuck this lying motherfucker.
Ma'am?
Ma'am?
Welcome to Taco Bell.
Can I take your order?
Hey?
Uh, this is Randy, from the dock.
Oh. Yeah. I can't talk right now.
You told me to call you
if I saw someone at that boat,
and there are two guys there right now,
at that boat.
Son of a bitch. All right, I'm on my way.
Who's this now?
Just tell me why I was pulled over.
Someone called in a tip.
What the fuck?
So messed up, I want you here ♪
In my room, I want you here ♪
Freeze!
And I'll lay right down
In my favorite place ♪
And now I wanna be your dog ♪
Now I wanna be your dog ♪
Now I wanna be your dog ♪
Well, come on ♪
Well, come on ♪
Well, come on ♪
Now I'm ready to close my eyes ♪
And now I'm ready to close my mind ♪
And now I'm ready to feel your hand ♪
And lose my heart on the burning sands ♪
And now I wanna be your dog ♪
And now I wanna be your dog ♪
Now I wanna be your dog ♪
Well, come on ♪
Mm ♪
Mm ♪
Mm ♪