Good Cop/Bad Cop (2025) s01e06 Episode Script

1
['BLACK BETTY' BY SPIDERBAIT PLAYS]
Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam ♪
Yeah, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam ♪
Black Betty had a child, bam-ba-lam ♪
The damn thing gone wild, bam-ba-lam ♪
She's always ready, bam-ba-lam ♪
She's so rock steady, bam-ba-lam ♪
Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam ♪
Go, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam ♪
- [HENRY LAUGHS]
- [HANK] Hey! What?
What's so funny?
Nothing, trust me.
Come on, tell me. I
could use a good laugh.
I'm reading a book
called States of Matter,
and there's a chapter on thermodynamics
and statistical mechanics.
- Okay
- Here's how it opens.
"Ludwig Boltzmann
spent most of his career
studying statistical mechanics.
He died in 1906 by his own hand."
- Uh.
- Okay?
"Paul Ehrenfest, carrying on his work,
died similarly in 1933.
Now it is our turn to study
statistical mechanics."
[LAUGHS]
Never too late for a paternity test.
[LAUGH WANES]
There's an extra place setting.
Yeah. Are we expecting company?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, we are.
- Something's up.
- Yeah. You're right.
There's a vibe in here.
- A dark and troubling vibe.
- Look at him.
[LOU] That's the shirt he
wears for press conferences.
- [HENRY] He's brushed his hair.
- [OVEN PINGS]
She seems eager to make an impression.
- No. No, she's not.
- Please, no.
- No, you can't.
- Yes, kids, your mother is coming for brunch.
No. How did this happen?
She texted me out of
the blue last night.
She asked, "How are the kids?"
And I said, "Kids are good.
Coming over for brunch tomorrow."
And then she responded,
"Brunch sounds like fun. See you at 11."
It's fine. It's fine.
Let's just brainstorm.
What can we say to make
her turn the car around?
Or maybe it's easier if we
just block the road into town?
[CLEARS THROAT]
I might have an
idea why she's coming.
When I was undercover
in that rehab facility
I had to do this group therapy session
and totally by accident
I had a breakthrough about
how Mum made me the way I am.
- Mm-hm.
- Keep talkin'.
So, I may have unloaded
years of pent up frustration
on her voicemail,
blaming her for making me
incapable of allowing myself to love.
Oh. Well.
- That's just wonderful!
- Not your finest hour, honey.
I had a breakthrough.
I am not in the headspace
for Mum's unique blend
of self-pity, narcissism
and inappropriate necklines.
You think I'm looking
forward to seeing her?
This neglectful lady
still endured 11 hours of
excruciating labor for Henry,
and emergency C-section for Louise.
- How do you know that?
- I know everything.
Maybe her being here will make us
actually face some of the
stuff we never talk about.
Dysfunction thrives in the dark
and dies in the sunlight.
Another thing I learned
from group therapy.
You were in rehab for six hours
pretending to be a drug
addict named Claire.
Excuse me, it was a profound experience.
Even if we pretend that's true,
that is not relevant to me
- I don't keep secrets.
Oh, really?
How about continuing an investigation
of a potential homicide from a
million years ago without my consent?
You what? Why didn't you tell me?
I don't know what either
of you are talking about
and how did you know?
You think Szczepkowski
can keep a secret?
Kid's about as hard to
read as Goodnight Moon.
So, what do you have
to say for yourself?
I refuse to apologise for
investigating a murder.
You remember the day that I
gave you your detective shield?
You go behind my back again
and see how fast I can rewind
that heartwarming movie.
[CHUCKLES]
Technically, Louise gave me my shield.
[SILENCE]
Well, either Nadia blew a
fuse or that's the universe
telling us to stop
with all this honesty.
Sometimes it's good to
rip off the band-aid.
I'll tell you another
thing I learned in therapy.
You can't start healing
until you start feeling.
Are you just repeating things
you saw on motivational
posters at the rehab?
No. I got that one from a mug.
I had motivational poster
in my room as a small child.
It said "Life is hard."
It was my favourite poster.
Nadi, could you please
just give us a minute here?
We're actually dealing
with something. Okay?
Just came in to tell
you the power is out,
so the brunch I have
been cooking all morning
will be delayed, but okay.
Okay.
Well, I'm starving.
I'm gonna head outside
and eat some almonds.
Why does he have to go
outside to eat almonds?
You think I have a copy of his manual?
Look, all I'm saying is that
I think we were all
messed up by her leaving.
You guys maybe even more than me.
Marci asked if you could stand
being the second most
important person in her life
and you've totally given up on her.
No, actually, I sent her child a gift
and I refuse to call her
until I receive a
hand-written thank-you note.
And you are scared to let the guy
you actually like know you like him.
You are so annoying!
I do not like Carson!
Interesting. I never said his name.
I would never date another
cop and he's freshly divorced.
Oh, sweetheart, come on,
that sounds like an excuse
because you're afraid of getting hurt.
- Boom.
- Oh, I'm afraid to get hurt?
Anytime anyone says anything
that hurts your feelings
even a tiny little bit
you get all sullen and sulky
and completely shut down.
I do not.
Every time you fought with Mum
you couldn't take any
criticism from her.
Let's be honest, that's got to be
at least part of the reason
why you guys got divorced.
That's not why we got divorced.
I'm not saying it was the
only reason. I'm just saying
She only had one reason.
- What reason was that?
- You want another breakthrough?
You know the relationship with Frank
that started maybe a year
after we got divorced?
Well, guess what? It didn't.
What do you mean?
They'd been seeing each
other for at least a year
while we were still married.
She left because she
fell in love with him.
I made her promise not
to go public with it
to save us all the humiliation.
There. Is that honest enough for you?
Everybody healed now?
I don't know what to say.
Henry, you say something.
Huh? Oh, I already knew that.
- What?
- What?
For how long?
One night she went out for milk
when we already had milk.
Then a week later she said
she was running to the store,
so I followed her across town
to a house with a front-facing window.
Didn't see everything,
but I can assure you, I saw enough.
Oh, buddy.
I thought I was the only one who knew.
Do you know how hard it was to
pretend not to see the clues?
She knew none of her tells.
Like when she was lying, she use
to twirl her hair with her finger.
- And the pauses!
- Such long pauses!
You could bake a pie in those pauses.
[BOTH LAUGH]
It's a huge relief
to know that you knew.
Yeah. It's a relief to me too.
No, you guys do not get to
bond over keeping this from me.
We shared a family secret
that gave us a point of connection.
This is literally what you asked for.
No! I did not ask to be betrayed
by a secret-keeping betrayer!
I halfway get why he didn't tell me
but we're supposed to be a team!
It is like in season one of 24,
Jack Bauer knows who is the mole
but keeps the rest of CTU in the dark.
Sweetheart, do you mind?
We're having a family conversation here.
What?
[PHONE BUZZES]
It's the office.
Hey. It's my
What do you mean?
Someone blew up the
electrical substation.
What?!
How did the fire department
find out before me?
Okay, just We're on our way.
Come on. You guys follow me.
Oh, no. You guys can ride together.
You can discuss all
the other family secrets
you've been keeping from me.
It'll be like a fun car game.
Louise!
Oh, God, your mother!
Nadia's going to kill me
if I tell her she has to
deal with that woman alone.
- You do it.
- Absolutely not.
You're not the only
one who's scared of her.
After that bone-headed thing I said
about having a family discussion?
I'm taking my life
into my hands. Come on!
Okay. I'll do it if you let
me drive and control the radio.
You follow cars too
closely, look at your phone
and you listen to terrible music.
I do not listen to terrible music.
These are my terms.
Deal.
[HENRY] Nadia?
Nadia left.
She took the Mustang.
Oh.
I I still get to drive.
[SIRENS BLARE IN DISTANCE]
Well, well, well, boys,
the EVPD finally graces
us with their presence.
Coffee break run long?
Not really in the mood
for 'cops vs. firefighters'
today, Flanagan.
Yeah? Why's that?
Aviators get scratched?
Busy weekend busting jaywalkers?
Someone swiped the last cinnamon
roll from the break room?
At least we're not a bunch of
divorced middle-aged volunteers!
- Jeez. You really took it there.
- Yeah.
Sorry. I've had a tough morning.
Your daughter's giving
me nothing today, Hickman!
Just a second
[WOMAN, ON PHONE] Please
leave a message after the tone.
[BEEP!]
Nadi, it's me again.
Check that the tires on the
Mustang are properly inflated.
And that the brake lights work
and use 91 octane if
you have to fill it up.
And [SIGHS] just
call me back, please.
Please call me back.
What about you, Henry? You
gonna give me the business?
I have nothing but
respect for firefighters.
You're a vital part of our community.
But, yeah
The way you put your lives on the line.
You won't hear me offering
a word of criticism.
Henry, traditions matter.
Say something mean.
But not too mean.
Alright, what happened here?
Intruders came from the west,
cut a hole in that fence.
They blew the transformer
with a high-impact homemade explosive.
- Took down the whole grid.
- Wow. What a mess.
We have a possible footprint.
It's obscured by the
explosion's residue.
Hey, Hanrahan?
It's Flanagan.
No, I know.
I'm comically demeaning you
by pretending to misremember your name.
You know, 'cause you're saying
It's not funny if you
have to explain it.
Yeah, that's why it's not funny.
Did you want something?
Yes. I need your dry
powder extinguisher.
It's a boot.
[HENRY] Doc Martens.
I'd know it anywhere.
From my years on the streets of Seattle.
I was kicked in the face more than once.
Does that surprise anyone? Anyone?
Woman's size 6.
Hey, Hanrahan!
We're not doing that anymore.
Oh, yes, we are. It's our thing.
Alright, we're looking
for a woman, everybody!
So am I.
[LOU SIGHS] Of course you can't.
- My cell signal's gone.
- Yeah, mine too.
- [STATIC CRACKLES]
- [LILY] Hey, anyone there?
The cell tower's been bombed!
- My angel.
- My heart.
No second thoughts?
My second thoughts
are exactly the same
as my first thoughts.
You have an arrogant little body.
I love how your
compliments make no sense.
- You make me so itchy.
- In a good way?
Come back to bed and I'll show you.
No time, baby. We got a busy day ahead.
[SIGHS] You know our power's out
Mmm. Imagine that. [LAUGHS]
Baby, let's get wild.
I agree. When I was out
on my boat this morning
Without service I have no GPS.
Do you have any maps?
Sorry, honey.
Just the treasure maps on
the back of the kids menu.
- Then only large coffee to go.
- Okay.
With the power out, it's about
as hot as a baby's bathwater.
But it'll do ya.
Kathy, do you know which
is road to Vancouver?
I am going to visit my cousin.
Okay, so what you want to do
is, you want to go on Highway 2
and then pick up I-5 in
Everett and go all the way up.
What's the occasion?
Big Hank and I had big fight.
- Oh.
- Only verbal.
He did not beat me with stick,
if that's what you are thinking.
Well, jeez, no I wasn't.
I'm sure you guys will work it out.
Say, if I give you money
will you pick me up some
smoked fish while you're there?
Between you and me
I may not come back this way again.
So
Kathy, it was nice to
come in here each day
and have you talk at me.
I think you mean talk with me.
That must be what I meant.
- There you go, honey.
- Thank you.
Please, keep problem
with Hank to yourself.
Gladys.
You are not gonna believe
what she just told me.
Got you a chair.
Hey. Carson. What are you doing here?
It's the only way
to keep in close contact
with the department.
Outages are County wide.
Entire digital toolkit's offline.
It's like we've been thrown
back to the stone age.
Or at least to 19th century Whitechapel.
Jack the Ripper! Yes!
- I'm obsessed with that case.
- You and me both.
Okay, obvious question:
do you believe it was really Kosminski?
Well, we know it wasn't Saunders.
- Oh, yeah! Obviously.
- Right?
[CARSON LAUGHS AND SNORTS]
I was talking to him
first. Get your own friends.
Okay, everybody, settle down, listen up.
Cell tower was the same
M.O. as the power substation.
High impact explosive.
We think it's related but we need more.
Bradley, what'd you find out
from people in the vicinity?
Yeah. I got a witness. [CLEARS THROAT]
Leonard Jensen, feed store manager.
"I was coming home from the
flea market over at Appleton.
I go real early on
Sundays to get the gold.
Like, one morning I bought
a lamp shaped like a giraffe,
where you pull the
tongue to turn it on."
Maybe just skip to the part
about where he saw the person?
Yeah.
"I was coming over the hill
as this woman was running away.
I couldn't see her face but
she was wearing a khaki jacket
and dark red combat boots.
Maybe Doc Martens?
I got a pair of dark green ones myself.
Picked 'em up at the flea
market over at Appleton.
Real early."
- Got the shoe right.
- [HANK] Alright, nice job.
There it is. There's the pattern.
First power, then communications.
So, what's the angle?
What are they after?
What's the connection? Come on.
- Szczepkowski, what?
- What?
No. Nothing.
I just What if it's the bank?
There's usually a Sunday drop of money
that would be waiting for Monday pickup.
And the alarm system
uses electric and wifi
so if both were knocked out
it would be easier to rob
and I feel like I've
been talking for so long.
Good thinking, Officer Szczepkowski!
Very good! Let's secure
that bank right now!
Wait! Dad!
We have something much
bigger to talk about.
Louise, this is not the time or place.
We need to find these people
and get that cell tower running,
so I can get in touch with Nadia.
I'm talking about the fact
that there's no way for
people to report a crime.
Right. Right.
Our people are vulnerable and isolated
and they need a way
to communicate with us.
[SNAPS FINGERS] I got an idea, Chief.
Troop 27, this is exactly
what we've been training for.
You've each been issued a walkie talkie.
You're our eyes and ears.
You will keep evenly
spaced throughout town
and report suspicious
activity and distress calls.
You will keep channels clear
and report back to base.
You will succeed in your mission.
I can't hear you!
Ma'am, yes, ma'am!
[HANK] Alright, I'm gonna
take the front of the bank
with Officer Ray who
will monitor the walkies.
Henry, Louise, I want
you to take the back.
Bradley, Szczepkowski,
keep the streets and sidewalks
clear of rubber neckers and lookie-loos.
Okay. I don't know what those are.
Me neither, but I got your back.
Alright, everybody ready?
Stay sharp, let's go.
You know banks are just private
casinos for the ultra rich?
They gamble with your
money and they profit
off their customers'
naivety and confusion.
You'll never guess
where I keep my money.
Go on.
- You're not going to guess?
- No.
How are you walking so fast?
I cover 30% more ground with every step.
- Would you stop?
- What?
Clearly there's a frost between us.
I think an apology is in order.
Yeah. Absolutely.
Whenever you're ready.
You're
You seriously are waiting
for me to apologise to you?
You talking about what
Marci said in front of Dad
was a total breach of trust.
Really. If I can't trust my
own sibling, who can I trust?
- Uh
- Shh!
I forgive you.
You know who I don't trust?
The banks!
That's why I keep my
money in my suitcase.
Damn it! I wanted you to guess!
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
- Uh-oh.
- What?
I just fell in love with you again.
[KNOCKS]
That guy's outa line.
I don't like the way he's looking at us.
Should I manually
correct his expression?
Not today. That'd be bad
luck. Plus he's got sad eyes.
Baby, your soul makes
my shoes fit funny.
Thank you, folks! Keep it moving.
Thanks, guys.
What's going on, officers?
It's just a precautionary
measure, folks.
Thanks for your cooperation.
The traffic lights are out all
over town, so drive carefully.
Thanks for keeping us safe, sir.
'Sir'. That felt nice.
- Yeah, he was really friendly.
- Really friendly.
[LUCAS] Smells a little musty in here.
[AMBER] You're being rude to our host.
This place is cute as hell.
Reminds me of my grandma's.
Sorry for the intrusion and all,
but would you kindly
direct us to your jewellery?
- Ahh!
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
[GROANS]
- Now we gotta look for it.
- Practice your patience, babe.
We won't find it if you lose focus.
You know what could help me focus?
Later. When we're finished.
Start looking.
[GIRL, ON RADIO] Nothing
to report on this end.
[GIRL 2, ON RADIO] All clear here.
[GIRL 3, ON RADIO] My mum
said her friend Kathy said
Chief Hickman's girlfriend
got mad and drove to Vancouver
and might never come back.
[SIGHS]
Uh
Permission to give you a hug, sir ?
Permission denied.
Mayday! Mayday!
Bleeding woman approaching.
Appears to be between
40 and 80 years old?
So it was a male and a female.
Their faces were covered,
and one was wearing red boots.
And they had a tone I didn't appreciate.
They tore through my jewellery
box like wild animals.
- What did they take?
- A necklace.
Can you describe it?
It was long, circular,
fastened at the back.
- Could you be more specific?
- No.
I have a photo.
Now that Nadia's gone, it's gonna be me.
Very old, very alone
with a very dead dog.
I heard that!
Your partner is very rude.
You don't have to tell
me. He's my father.
Hmm. Where did you get
this? Do you remember?
Pawn shop. They have all
kinds of treasures there.
And cheap pieces
of worthless, gaudy costume
jewellery, apparently.
Why would somebody take
your terrible necklace
and not what I can only assume
is your dead husband's Rolex?
Oh! Your partner's very rude too!
You don't have to tell me.
He's my son.
Everything okay between you and Henry?
Oh, you know. It's not a big deal.
I just found out this morning
he kept a secret from me our whole lives
that changes everything I
thought I knew about my family.
Oh, okay, good, then. No big deal.
Yeah. Just never felt more
betrayed in my whole life.
It's literally nothing. A piffle.
[CHUCKLES] I'm sorry.
I should not be dragging
you into family drama vortex.
I am absolutely down
to enter the vortex.
You know, when I was a kid
I had an imaginary friend.
His name was Caspian.
Mostly he hung around
while I built my Legos
and model airplanes.
I used him as a sounding
board for my sci-fi stories,
and he was someone who I could
tell knock-knock jokes to.
His name was Caspian?
The point is, I had to make up a friend
because I was an only child.
My mum's long gone, my dad
checks on me once a year
to see if any repairs need doing,
but I never had a meaningful
conversation with him.
You and your Dad and Henry,
underneath everything
have a real closeness.
I can tell.
You're still just trying
to find your way back there.
I'd do anything to be in your shoes.
But where did you come
up with the name Caspian?
[LOU GIGGLES]
[SIGHS]
Your faces say it all.
Here to buy a kit for
your little rugrats?
Oh, yeah, we're looking for instruments
for each of our four beautiful children.
- We're starting a family band.
- Oh.
Actually, only three
of them are beautiful.
Caspian's eyes are too far apart.
Kids at school call him Hammerhead.
Cries himself to sleep every night.
Tears roll just past his ears.
[LAUGHS]
We're yanking your chain, Lester.
I'm Lou Hickman. Big Hank's kid.
And this is Detective Carson.
Louise! I haven't seen you in years!
Yeah. We're here about
your stolen guitar.
Ah. Brand-new acoustic.
She just grabbed it and ran
out to her partner outside.
Did you notice anything
unusual about them?
Do you consider kissing unusual?
- They kissed you?
- No, they kissed each other.
A friendly peck or something more?
It was like they were
trying to merge into one.
[LILY, ON RADIO] Lou,
it's Lily! Come in, Lou!
We have a report of a kidnapped baby!
I was working out in my garage,
when these creeps came in
and they swiped my baby
right from her tank.
You keep your child in a tank?
What? No.
It's my snake.
Oh. Hmm.
Sh She's my everything.
I know how you feel, sir.
I am also dealing with
a heavy loss today.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
- What? Death in the family?
- [LOU] No.
His girlfriend's mad at him
and he wants to call her.
Oh.
Can I see a picture of your snake?
Sure.
This is her.
- She's beautiful.
- Thank you.
She looks just like you.
Cheap jewellery, a guitar and a snake.
What the hell is going on here?
We have two suspects so
far, male and a female.
A regular modern day Bonnie and Clyde
who seem to be really,
really into each other.
Which must be so nice.
Dad.
Um
None of the places they hit
are connected by any
kind of alarm system.
So, all we have are three
apparently unrelated thefts.
A snake, a guitar, and
a worthless necklace.
So
How are these three things connected?
What are these two after?
Okay, this is my favourite
part, where one of my team
jumps up and says, "Hey, I got it!"
Let's forget about
the board for a second.
Let's go back to the
beginning of this whole thing.
What other reason would anyone have
to knock out power and
cellular communications?
No cell service, no
power. No tower, no signal.
No power, no battery charge.
No tracking!
What does that say to you?
Oh, yeah. Um
You know, I think we're
thinking the same thing
but you say your thing first.
- Ankle monitors.
- Monitor, ankle monitors!
Yes. Same here. Great minds, right?
That's what I'm talking about!
Ankle monitors. Of course!
So now we need to access the database
to find out who's on house arrest.
Lily, what do we have in
the way of hard copies?
I only have hard copies
of the fingerprint log,
the mugshot book
and also my own personal collection
of the crime scene photos greatest hits.
Oh.
House arrests all run through
the County Sheriff's office.
Carson? Got a name for us?
Well, if I could sync up
to the centralised monitoring system
and cross-reference with
our criminal database
I'd be able to pull up
detailed profiles with
For God's sake, forget
about your stupid toys!
Look at me and focus.
The info is in there somewhere.
We're looking for a couple.
An inseparable duo with
unmistakable attraction.
They aren't just partners in crime,
they're partners in love.
And they are
There was a guy on house
arrest from Deer Creek
who was cooking meth
with his girlfriend!
Yes! I remember them!
[LOU] Where is it? Where is it?
Here!
Amber Hodges.
Multiple arrests for
possession, intent to distribute,
a couple of stints for
assault, car jacking.
Lucas Miller.
Possession, couple of B
& Es, nothing too heavy.
What's the end game?
The systems will be back
online in a few hours.
Why go to all this trouble
for a random crime spree?
Can't be random. There
has to be a pattern.
Here's a good place to start
- their last known address.
Royal Apartments in Deer Creek.
She's got skills, there's no question.
It's almost admirable.
You know, there are so many
highly explosive ingredients
in common beauty products
that many states have
considered banning hair salons
from performing both
manicures and hair colourings
at the same site
to make them less
attractive robbery targets
for would-be bombers.
You won't even banter?
That was banter?
You're not even talking!
And you never don't talk.
How could you keep me
in the dark for 20 years?
I thought we told each other everything.
Do you have any idea how much it sucks
to find out that you
kept that secret from me?
Well, we don't have to talk
if you're more comfortable
in stony silence.
You think I hid Mum's affair from you
'cause it was such a joy
to hold onto that kind of information?
Then why wouldn't you tell me?
When I saw them together,
I bought myself a lifetime supply
of resentment for my own mother.
I hated her.
And I hated hating her.
And I knew if you knew what I knew,
you would hate her too.
And I didn't want you to hate her.
I felt it was my duty
to protect you from that.
You were only eight.
You shouldn't have seen that.
I'm sorry you felt like you
had to carry it all on your own.
But given the choice, I would've
wanted to know the truth.
Trust me, I hated her plenty anyway.
You knew the truth and you
got to deal with it then.
But now I have to deal
with it all over again.
Probably have to go back to therapy.
Again, you were there for one afternoon.
I apologise.
I forgive you.
Also
I never told you this, but
that one time after family dinner
when I had to go back and get my jacket,
when I walked in,
I saw Dad having sex with Nadia.
He was naked and she was not.
Ohh!
You could've kept that
one to yourself forever.
Gaw!
Hey. Look at this.
She's due in court
tomorrow for sentencing.
[METAL CLANGING]
[METAL CLANGS]
Ma'am, could you put the weapon down?
We'd like to ask you a few questions.
Maybe we let me
question the small child.
Hi, sweetheart,
do you know the people
who live in that apartment?
Amber and Lucas. They're my friends.
That's nice. Do you remember
the last time you saw them?
Amber came over this morning
and said it was super-duper important
to borrow something from me to wear.
So I borrowed her my cat ears headband.
She wanted to borrow something from you?
Those are the words she used?
Thank you.
The necklace was old,
the guitar is new
The cat ears are borrowed
That snake was blue.
[SIGHS]
We need to check out
all churches in the area.
[PLAYS 'AVE MARIA']
Dear beloved, we are gathered here today
to join Amber and
Lucas in holy matrimony.
- Wait for it
- Wait for what?
The exchange of vows. I'm not a monster.
Takes me back to my
wedding day with Dennis.
Me fussing with his tuxedo,
him fussing with mine.
We weren't criminal
perpetrators but we were in love.
That's beautiful, Sarika.
And I vow to be your partner in crime
to protect you, to love you,
and to always pay your bail money.
Amber, just like this ring,
you've got me wrapped
around your finger.
And just like this snake, I
want you wrapped around my body.
And I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may now kiss your
[APPLAUSE]
Conjugal visits.
What?
Amber is facing long-term
jail time tomorrow.
The state of Washington
doesn't allow conjugal visits
unless the prisoner is married.
Ah, good catch.
Okay, go! Go, go, go!
- Go!
- Okay!
[MOANS AND GASPS]
[CHURCH BELLS RING]
- Congratulations.
- Aw, thanks, honey.
- Hey, come on.
- Alright, alright.
Oh, my God.
Kids.
Learn from me.
Whether by nature or nurture
or just plain old dumb luck,
we all sing versions
of the same sad song.
Do yourselves a favour.
Pick a different tune.
Do you understand what he's saying?
No.
I'm saying that I'm an idiot
and I may have blown it
with the woman that I love.
But it's not genetic. It's reversible.
It's all reversible. Being
a dumbass is reversible.
Being a romantic coward is reversible.
Being afraid to take a leap of faith
with the person that you love
that's reversible at any time.
As long as that time is right now.
- I'll
- See you later.
You have a curl falling
onto your forehead
which means you've been
too preoccupied to fix it.
You've got something on your mind?
I'm here to apply for the position
of the second most important
person in your life.
Hi.
- You seem out of breath.
- Yeah. [LAUGHS]
And I drove here, so
that's weird. [CHUCKLES]
Okay. I'm just gonna
come out and say it.
Uh
I think you and I
Well, we have
[WOMAN] Hey, babe,
your food's getting
Oh. Hi! Lou, right?
Right.
Gina? Is that ?
Wow! You look different.
Did you do something to your teeth?
- What?
- I don't know.
Just looks like a different
shade or something.
What are you guys having?
Oh, since the power's out,
we're just using the
rest of the milk and eggs
before they go bad, so
- I'm making some pancakes.
- Pancakes?
Pancakes! Great! Mmm.
Mmm.
I thought that you guys had
We were. I mean we still are,
technically. We're just
- We're making a fresh start.
- Right.
- Take two! [LAUGHS]
- Whoa!
Ah! That's a wrap! Not
for you guys, though.
- Yeah.
- Um
I just came here to
tell Detective Carson
that everything's gonna
be up and running soon
and all your fancy
devices will work again.
So
Thank you coming over to my
house just to tell me that.
And thank you
for stopping by.
You're thanking yourself?
Yes, I am.
Yeah. Gotta be your own
number-one supporter.
[LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]
- Oh!
- Ah!
I did that. [LAUGHS]
So, thank you, Louise.
And you're welcome, Louise.
I bid you a good night.
Goodbye.
Bye.
[SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYS]
[PHONE BEEPS]
Hey Lily, can you notify traffic control
there's a vehicle with
Washington vanity plates GINA92
parked recklessly close to a
fire hydrant at 15 Maple Street.
They probably want to send
someone to issue a ticket.
[SIGHS]
I was not sure you would
figure out where I was.
Well, it took me a while, I'll admit.
In my defence,
somebody blew up a cell
tower and a power station
and then I heard this weird rumour
about you heading to
Vancouver to visit a cousin?
Then why did you not go to Vancouver?
Any news that travels that fast
has to be Kathy-coloured gossip.
And I reckon that you
whispered something in her ear,
throw me off the scent.
And
I decoded your little note.
"You won't stop me this time."
"This time".
Hmm?
This diner? Twede's Cafe.
This is where you were
heading when we first met.
I pulled you over for speeding.
Your last stop on the tour of
your favourite American TV spots.
[CHUCKLES]
How great is this, anyway?
I mean, not exactly as weird
as I'd thought it would be.
But, uh
kind of weird how not weird it is.
Why did you bother coming?
Did you finish family conversation?
Hickman family business
is your business.
Because you are my family.
At least I want that to
be the case, permanently.
And, boy, that sounded
threatening. Um
What I mean is I want
to ask you this question.
Not a question, um
It's like a proposal.
Well, actually it is a proposal.
Nadia, I'm proposing.
Nadia, will you marry me?
I say yes.
Yes?
[LAUGHS]
['SINCERELY' BY THE MOONGLOW PLAYS]
[HANK LAUGHS]
Let's go home.
Wait, wait, wait.
There we go. [LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]
What's the matter with
you? You don't look so hot.
Man trouble?
I'm fine.
Making me remove my
ring on my wedding day.
That's cruel.
Sorry. Rules.
That's okay.
I won't be down today.
I did what I did because
I dreamed of being
the first woman in my family
to have a real wedding.
And to be eligible for conjugal visits.
Amen to that.
I better get my necklace back too.
Took forever to track it down.
It belonged to my grandma
before she pawned it.
Her boyfriend gave it to
her the day he disappeared.
Pretty fancy taste for a bus driver.
Your grandmother's boyfriend
was a bus driver who disappeared?
Yeah.
Weird move to give someone
an inscribed necklace
then ghost them the same day.
Grandma Jean even
reported it to the cops.
But they treated her
like a rambling drunk.
Not that I really blame them.
Mum always said
that Grandma Jean could
never hold her liquor.
Or accept when she'd been dumped.
Are those the married
couple's personal effects?
Yeah, why?
Sam, do you remember that
old police report you found?
The one where the lady
reported her boyfriend missing
and the police didn't believe her?
Yeah. That bus driver.
Valentine's Day, 1987.
The day he gave her this necklace.
[THEME MUSIC]