Gortimer Gibbon's Life on Normal Street (2014) s01e06 Episode Script

I've lived my whole life
on Normal Street.
There's a lake at one end,
and a forest of shady trees
at the other.
But what lies in between
is anything but normal.
If history has taught us
anything
Ranger: Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
Was that louder
than last time?
Gortimer: Ranger,
I'm telling a story here.
Ranger: Sorry.
Gortimer: Where was I?
Oh, right.
If history has taught us
anything,
it's that power is--
Well,
it's a powerful thing.
It often changes
the people who have it,
but it can also change
those around them.
And not for the better.
We had to find that out
the hard way.
As if you couldn't
see it coming,
Mel won the presidency
that day.
- [clapping]
- Thank you, thank you.
All right.
Thanks.
Now that I've been elected
student council president--
Whoo!
I want to
hit the ground running
and get right to work.
I call to order this session
of Normal Middle School
student council.
Who wants to hear me make
the loudest sound ever?
Your loss.
What was that?
What?
Oh, I thought you all
changed your minds,
and were asking to
come watch me break
the sound barrier.
Nope.
Understood.
You guys ever get tired of
Ranger messing around?
That's one of my best friends
you're talking about.
Sometimes
Both: Yes.
Lance.
It's been a long, hard
two years for the school
not having a president,
and if the student body
didn't elect me,
I'm glad it was you.
Gwen.
You are by far one of
the best people for the job.
But I also would have been
a good choice.
Thanks, guys. You've been
really gracious in defeat.
If there's one good thing
to come of this,
it's that we can finally
put the legend to rest.
What legend?
I was just named
secretary of snacks
during fourth period,
no one told me
how many snacks I had to
prepare for people,
let alone anything
about a legend.
The Legend of
Pendragon's Gavel.
Whoever can pull it free
will be named
the once and future
student council president.
That gavel?
Have you tried it?
Are you kidding?
I've tried pulling it
a couple times a week
for months.
She's even been doing
pushups.
But still no luck.
Not that I have to
worry about it now,
'cause I was elected
fair and square.
But it's just gum.
It can't be that hard.
Give it a try.
No.
It's gotta be bigger.
We're trying to create the
loudest sound on record.
None of those sticks
are gonna do the job.
Maybe what we're looking for
isn't a stick.
You, Stanley,
are brilliant.
All those people that
underestimated you are wrong.
Who underestimates me?
[grunting]
Told you.
I just thought of
the perfect thing.
Stanley, get the
recording equipment ready.
We are about to make history.
Hey, guys.
How's it goin'?
Can't talk.
Makin' history.
Both: Wait!
Five, six, seven, eight.
Ranger!
Do you have any idea
what that is?
Uh, drum hammer?
That's Pendragon's gavel.
Which means
you're the new president.
President!
[symbol crashing]
So, just to be clear,
you're not mad at me?
Trying not to be.
Because you were just
elected president,
and that's something
you've always wanted.
And now you get booted
just because I pull a hammer
out of gum.
I know.
But the legend says
you'll end up being
a better president
than I could have ever been.
You want me to run through
the legend again?
Mel:
In the entire history of
the Normal Middle School
student council,
there was one president
who was by far the best.
She was the smartest
and kindest,
and wisest leader
anyone could have
ever hoped for.
Under her rule,
the school flourished,
and the student body
was happy.
She was President
Esther Avalon Pendragon.
Esther didn't want just anyone to take over as president,
and ruin everything she'd accomplished during her reign.
So as she closed
the last session on her
last day of middle school,
Esther banged her gavel
one last time
into a pile of gum,
where it stayed
waiting for
the once and future
student council president
to release it.
Esther Pendragon declared that
only her rightful successor
would be able to
pull the gavel free.
Which is you.
An idea I'm becoming more
and more on board with.
Huh.
I guess I just don't
understand
what the president
actually does.
Oh. You get to oversee
student council meetings,
and propose new
school legislation,
and act as a liaison
between the student body
and faculty.
- And--
- Do you think I could change
the school's mascot?
Because I've always been
partial to the Normal Street
Gooey Ducks.
That is so out there.
It's the best idea ever.
No. Wait.
The Normal Street
Sea Cucumbers.
New best idea
ever.
I can't believe
I never saw your
genius before.
I'm good at this,
aren't I?
You're better than good.
You guys aren't
messing around, are you?
Absolutely not.
Are you feeling okay?
How's your vitamin C?
I can whip up
some fruit leather.
He's just kidding around,
Gortimer.
You know how funny
Ranger is.
That I do.
Oh, and as president
you have to deliver
the morning announcements
tomorrow.
Over the PA?
They're gonna give me
a microphone?
That's what I was
going to use to close
the daily announcements,
but you can have it
if you want.
It's okay,
but I'm gonna need to
Rangerfy it a little bit.
By all means.
And there's the matter of
allocating
the student class funds.
My first act as president
was going to be
to use the money to buy
solar panels for the school.
But I'm sure you can
come up with a
way better idea.
Probably.
Hey, guys.
This presidency thing
is so much fun.
Can you believe I have
so many great ideas.
Both: Totally.
Say "referendum."
Referendum.
[camera shutter clicks]
Ranger:
We have lost track of
the get-well card for
groundskeeper Kevin.
So if you have it,
please return it to
the front office.
And those are today's
announcements.
This is President
Ranger Bowen
reminding everyone that
there are ninjas everywhere,
especially on rooftops.
So keep your heads up
and stay safe out there.
[glissando]
I like what you wrote about
being kind and supportive to
one another, Mel,
but ninjas.
Of course.
Yours is way more
inspirational.
Keep your heads up.
It's poetry.
I'm not entirely sure
what's going on,
or why you're president now
and not Mel,
but I have to say,
that could have gone
a lot worse.
Isn't he the greatest,
Miss Martin?
My job here
isn't to judge,
it's just to make sure the
announcements are G rated.
A croissant,
Mademoiselle Martin?
Merci.
Merci.
[muffled]
Merci.
Kids: [chanting]
Ranger, Ranger, Ranger
I hereby open the
Normal Middle School Center
for the study of
freakishly huge plants.
[applause]
[chanting]
Ranger, Ranger, Ranger.
[chanting slows]
Ranger, Ranger, Ranger.
And I told the superintendent
that if he really wanted to
keep an eye on the budget,
I know a guy who can get us
realistic rubber eyeballs
in bulk.
[laughing]
Classic.
It's one of my
favorite stories.
How can you pick
a favorite?
Guys,
I'm sitting right here.
Ranger, drink up.
I had a dream last night
that you got dehydrated,
and I can't stop
thinking about it.
Mrs. Bowen: Ranger.
Less chatting with
the friends,
more cleaning in
the bathrooms.
I'm doing an interview for
the school newspaper right now.
Well, from here,
it looks like you're
hanging out with
Stanley and Gortimer.
Ranger's mom,
our readers want to
know everything
about our new
president, so--
Oh, how about an exposé on
how he manages to get our
toilet bowl
so sparkling clean?
What a scoop.
Hey. Best leave
some mystery, Stanley.
And Mel will answer
any further questions,
because she is in fact
the one that everyone
actually voted for.
Luckily, fate corrected
that mistake.
That's the understatement
of the century.
Well, duty calls.
[laughing]
You have such a way
with puns.
A certain
je ne sais quoi.
Um, what's a je ne sais
whatever you just said?
[laughing]
Gentlemen, there goes
the best president
in the history of
Normal Middle School.
So what do you like best
about Ranger?
How much time do you have?
Mel: Well, working with
President Ranger,
you get to see a lot of
his best sides.
Can I interest you
in some of our famous
chocolate vedine?
I don't have much of
a sweet tooth.
Hey, sweetheart.
What was Stanley
talking about?
What are you
new president of?
Oh, student council.
Since when were you
running for president
of student council?
I didn't run.
It just sort of happened.
How can you be president
if you weren't elected?
I don't understand.
You don't need to.
I'm a great president.
And everyone says so.
Ranger, you are so great
at so many things.
Off the top of my head,
math problems,
staring contests,
in general,
being my wonderful,
generous caring son.
And?
I'm just not sure
running student government
is on that list.
Wait, what?
You're my mom.
You're supposed to believe
I can do anything.
Sure. I believe you can
do anything,
if you're passionate
and you work hard at it.
Just because something
falls in your lap
doesn't mean you're
gonna be great at it.
I mean,
you think airline pilots
wake up one morning
behind the steering wheel
of a jet?
Nope. They spend years
training.
Mom, planes don't have
steering wheels.
They have yokes.
You have never shown
any interest in
student government.
You have a lot of power.
I hope you're doing
the right thing with it.
Excuse me, but I have
some toilet bowls to scrub.
Okay, I don't care
how they do it, Lance,
I just want
the Sloppy Joes
to be sloppier.
I'm on it.
Which one?
Um, did you check
with the mascot
to see which
it liked better?
We tried,
but we couldn't get
a definite answer
from Carol
the Sea Cucumber.
It was frustrating,
to say the least.
Um, maybe
the blue one.
Yeah, this red one's
disgusting.
I don't know
what I was thinking.
Pistachios
or cashews?
- Any almonds?
- Plain or honey roasted?
Surprise me.
Prepare to be
mildly surprised.
Perfect.
Yes, Gortimer.
You nailed it.
Word came down from
the vice principal.
She asked for a
final decision on the
student class funds.
I've been thinking about
the solar panel idea.
Yeah?
Instead, I've decided to
spend the money on--
This is going to be
great, guys.
A class field trip to
H2OMG Water Park.
All: Yes!
This is the greatest use
of public funds ever.
I-- I thought
out of everyone,
you would try to
talk me out of it.
Why would I do that?
Because solar panels
would reduce waste,
and save the school
a whole bunch of money.
But spending money on a
field trip to the water park,
it's just irresponsible.
I'm never going to
disagree with you.
Never?
What about when I'm wrong?
Ranger, when are you
going to realize
you're never
going to be wrong?
And everything's
better now,
because you're
in charge.
But we used to work
so good as a team.
Gortimer pushes,
you pull.
None of that works
without you guys
pushing and pulling.
Everything you've done so far
has been, without a doubt,
- the best.
- All: The best.
Now, will you please
stop doubting yourself?
You don't need us.
[school bell rings]
Gortimer: I hear
the wave pool at H2OMG
[sighs]
is the most
chlorinated body of water
in the continental U.S.
I have something
very important to
talk to you about.
I don't want to buy
an umbrella.
Why would I try to
sell you an umbrella?
Well, based on
what you're wearing,
I can only assume
it's gonna rain.
I'm wearing this
as a disguise.
Incognito.
Okay, well, it's not
working very well.
You've been
following me around
for a few days now,
and the only reason
I've noticed
is because of
the trench coat.
What do you want?
We can't talk about it here.
Too many prying ears.
Just tell me.
No.
You haven't heard
much of that word
lately, have you?
Same thing
happened to me.
It was my gavel you
pulled from the desk.
You're Ethel Pendergrass?
Esther Pendragon.
Right. Sorry.
Ranger! There's a
press conference.
Do you want us to
wait for you?
Coming.
I'll find you later.
Creepy.
I like your style.
Gortimer,
please don't feed
the sea cucumber.
We don't want to get
the costume dirty.
Where was I?
Ah, yes.
Robbie, you can ask
the same question
100 different ways,
but the answer is always
going to be the same.
Mexican food.
Next.
Harold Sherewoods
with "Harold's Herald."
What is this
we've been hearing about
an extended recess?
Great question,
Harold.
I know it's controversial
and it still needs to be
approved by the faculty,
but Ranger thinks
students would really
benefit from more--
Ranger, what did you call it?
Uh, mess around time.
Mess around time.
Sorry.
My dad made me promise to
ask this follow up question.
Don't you think shortening
all academic classes by
15 minutes
could put us at an
educational disadvantage?
You can
tell your dad that
Ranger wouldn't propose
something that would be
bad for us.
Casey Jane,
I'm going to ask that
we table any questions
about the bake sale
until we find out where
the school stands
with gluten
intolerance levels.
No, I can't comment further.
Next.
You look a
little concerned.
I'm more than a
little concerned.
Take for instance
Holly's quiz
from earlier today.
The lines in an
equilateral triangle are--
And she answered,
"Jealous that
Ranger can't also rule
over geometric shapes
"because he's the
best president ever."
And look at Tony's
multiple choice answer sheet.
That's a crazy coincidence.
It's no coincidence.
Everyone failed
their test today.
What is going on?
Uh, I'm sorry to
interrupt, Mimi.
but someone borrowed my
riding mower and wrote,
"Ranger forever"
on the front lawn.
[sighs]
I'm not done with you yet.
- [sighs]
- Psst.
Thanks for the
get well card.
[sighs]
Hi.
I'm afraid this is
all my fault.
What are you talking about?
Your friends and
your classmates
have turned into
yes zombies.
What are yes zombies?
They agree with
everything you say,
no matter how crazy it is.
Yes. It's really annoying.
It's because of that.
Esther:
I made it in wood shop
when I was president.
I wanted something loud enough for people to listen to me.
But the gavel ended up
having this weird power.
A bit of unsolicited advice:
don't order wood
from Eastern Europe
unless it's from a
reputable distributor.
Ranger: Okay.
Esther: As soon as I
used the gavel,
the entire student body
started agreeing with
everything I said.
It was like my friends
didn't have any ideas
of their own,
and I was able to do
whatever I wanted.
For two years, it was nothing
but frozen yogurt socials,
and pet talent shows.
Ranger: That sounds awesome.
Esther:
You're not getting it.
With no one
challenging my decisions,
the student class
went bankrupt.
By the time I sealed
the gavel to the desk,
the student council
was so far gone
that none of them wanted
anything to do with me.
Ranger: Wait,
but what about the legend?
That was started by my friends
when they were "yes" zombies.
So, I'm not a good president.
It's just the gavel
making everyone tell me I am.
Why did the gavel pick me?
Because you're a
terrible president.
Hey!
But so was I.
It's because we
want to have fun,
and push the boundaries and
put a smile on everyone's face.
Unfortunately,
those aren't qualities that
make for a great president.
[sighs] So that's why
it chose me.
It's not too late, Ranger.
Get rid of the gavel,
or else you'll be stuck
with friend zombies.
And you don't want mindless
drones following you around
doing your every bidding
for you. Do you?
No.
Is it weird that
I miss that word?
I'll leave you two alone now.
Pasta fagioli!
Ah.
I hear you, Lance,
but the definition of crudités
is a general term
that does not specify what
veggies are to be used.
I think we can all agree that
crudités implies carrots.
Well, when you're
secretary of snacks,
you can do things
differently.
- Maybe I will.
- Great.
- Good.
- Super.
Guys!
All: President Ranger.
Technically,
it would be
President Bowen.
It's neither.
All: President Neither.
Thanks for meeting me
on the weekend.
I have something that
I need to tell you.
And I didn't think it could
wait until Monday.
Zombies.
What was that?
[sighs]
Effective immediately,
I am resigning as president.
What?!
Is this a good thing?
I'm not sure.
We should be happy
with his decision,
but his decision means
he's no longer president,
which is a bad thing.
This is the worst day
of my life.
[coughing]
Guys, calm down.
It's gonna be okay.
But you released the gavel.
You're the stuff of legend.
You're the once and future
student council president.
[sighs] I just need to
get rid of this thing.
[coughing]
I feel some
stress eating coming on.
Someone scoop
the pretzel out.
No one's gonna stick
their hand in there.
I have an idea.
All: Best idea ever.
I haven't even told you
what it is yet.
Come on. Follow me.
Well, I'm having a hard time
getting rid of this gavel.
I'm gonna need you to do it.
I'm not saying it's a
presidential order.
But it is.
[sighing]
I'm resigning.
Which means
you're gonna resume your
elected role as president.
Some of your choices
lately
have been a little
off the deep end.
I don't know why I didn't
speak up earlier.
Sorry, Ranger.
No. This is great.
Mel. I don't think
it would be too late
to cancel the
water park tickets,
and get those
solar panels ordered.
Great.
Let's get a memo out
to faculty and staff.
First things first.
How much do
solar panels cost
per panel?
Well,
each one is 50.
What a bizarre week.
It's like a blur.
The legend
had us all convinced
that I knew
what I was doing.
And I should have
just stuck with what I'm
really interested in,
making loud noises
even louder.
[sighs] No one can
take that away from me.
Still, sorry your presidency
didn't work out.
Well, this is exactly
how it's supposed to be.
Mel's the best person
for the job.
She has the passion.
Mm-hmm.
[sighs] And we
should have listened.
For the record,
I did like the fighting
sea cucumber mascot.
Thanks. I'm proud
it will be my legacy.
Ranger, we're canceling
the mascot reboot.
[sighs]
I went a little crazy
on the snacks, didn't I?
Fruit leather?
That sounds gross.
Yes, please.
It took a lot of courage for
Ranger to give up his title.
But he realized in the end
that success is sweeter
when you actually
work for it.
Plus, what's the point
of having power
if you don't have your real
push and pull friends around
to enjoy it with you.
And it's not like
Mel got rid of everything
Ranger did as president.
This is President Mel Fuller
reminding you that
ninjas are everywhere,
especially on rooftops.
So keep your heads up
and stay safe out there.
[notes chiming]
[gong banging]