Grown-ish (2018) s01e06 Episode Script
Cashin' Out
1 ZOEY: So, I was in love.
Okay, I know I've said it before, but this time, it was for real.
You know just what to say And not that other kind of love, like when I held my baby brother Devante for the first time But I can't move my feet I didn't know that I was starving till I tasted you or when I saw the Beyoncé "Lemonade" video for the first time Don't need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo or the first time I experienced a Kogi Beef taco.
Oh, my [Bleep.]
God! No, this was a different kind of love, the kind that made colors seem brighter, the air seem cleaner, and the problems of the world just didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore.
And it was all because of him.
- [DING!.]
- Cassius Mooney.
My first real love.
- I was starving till I tasted you - My first everything.
I got you something.
I hope you like it.
Oh, yeah, till I tasted you Oh, my God.
Cash, I can't believe you did this.
Ah-ah-ah, ah-da-da-da Is that extra pickled cabbage? Da-da-da God, I love this man.
Something inside Me's changed I was so much younger yesterday Watch out, world, I'm grown now I'm grown Learn something new every day I don't know know, so I'ma feel my way Got the weight of the world on me But no regrets, this is what I say Watch out world, I'm grown now - I'm grown - You can tell me My heart beating so loud Mama, look, I'm grown now I'm grown [CRUNCHING.]
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
- Mm.
[CELLPHONE CHIMING.]
[CELLPHONE RINGING.]
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
- Stalker! Where have you been? What you been doing? Who you been doing it with? Whoa.
Didn't realize I had a second mom, and not in a fun Annette Bening-indie-film kind of way.
I was worried about you.
It's no big deal I was with Cash.
No, I know you were with Cash, but "with" in a sharing a milkshake with two straws kinda "with," or with-with, like in a late-night Skinemax movie kinda with? I think neither? Lying is a really bad color on you, Zoey.
Okay, fine.
We did it.
Yay, yay! Yay! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Tell me everything! I am not gonna tell you everything because a lady doesn't tell, and I am now technically and Biblically a lady.
- Aww! - [LAUGHS.]
What I can say for sure [SIGHS.]
I'm in love.
Awww! You bitch! Excuse me? Sorry.
I'm just jealous.
My first time was with an altar boy from Dade County.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'm so glad you did it with someone that you love.
- Yeah.
- But I'm kinda sad, though.
I'm not gonna see you anymore.
What are you talking about? Girl, I know how it is when you get your first pinga.
Especially when it's with someone that you love.
Okay, I have no clue what a pinga is, but it's not gonna change me.
I mean, I'm not gonna get all obsessive and start acting weird because I've had sex.
Cash and I are just enjoying our time together.
I'm not trying to make it a big deal and get all pinga crazy.
A pinga is a penis, isn't it? You're damn right it is.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Yo, how long have you been in here? It's barely 9:00.
The sad day drinkers are still here.
[SIGHS.]
We got here super early so we wouldn't have to pay the $5 cover.
VIVEK: I would've got you.
You know V-Digital takes care of his ladies.
Please stop with that nickname.
- It's never taking off.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Thought it was good.
- Here comes Sky.
- Please don't mention her face.
- What? Hey, guys.
Oh, my God.
What happened to your face?! Bitch, I thought you said it wasn't that bad! No, it's bad.
I tried to save money and do this at-home waxing thing, but all I had was a pumpkin spice Yankee Candle.
Autumn vibes, though.
Well, why the hell would you do that? Because waxing isn't cheap.
And the women in our family grow facial hair like Anthony Davis.
I thought you guys had free rides here, though.
Like, I always see you in the dope kicks, the fly hoodies.
Yeah, our ride covers room, board, and track gear.
Just enough to keep us alive and running for the school.
But not enough to keep us feeling human.
I mean, my nails look like I just crawled out of a well.
Mm.
So get a job.
When? Between 5:00 a.
m.
practices and midnight classes? Yeah, we're not gonna be those sad chicks at the fast-food joint selling burgers at 3:00 a.
m.
Hello? Is Is anyone back there who can make me a Sourdough Jack?! - Hello! - [HORNS HONKING.]
Hey, wait your turn! Man, if you guys really need some money, V-Didge can give you some side work.
Have you ever swallowed a balloon on purpose? [SIGHS.]
Bro, you make it so hard to root for you.
What you guys need is a side hustle, okay? When I'm broke, I write papers for the freshmen in Hawkins, so check there.
You guys need to find your lick.
To be honest, you are the story right now, so let's talk about you.
Okay.
I'm not gonna act like it's not hot to see the man you love on national television.
[CHUCKLING.]
I mean, especially since I dressed him.
If I left it up to Cash, he'd end up looking like one of those other fashion forward athletes.
So, how does it feel to be the hottest college player in the country right now? Honestly, I'm only as good as the people around me.
Okay, you've been well-prepped.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [WHISPERING.]
I'm that person.
So, what are your plans after this season? Are you one-and-done? Are you declaring for the draft? Cari, there's a lot of factors.
- You know that.
- All right.
Man, listen, no playing we're not here to play.
What are you going to do? What are these factors? Tell me something.
All right.
I don't know what my plans are after the season, but I know wherever I do end up, I want that girl with me.
And I'm saying it right here on your show I'm not going anywhere without Zoey Johnson.
You got the scoop first, Cari.
You're welcome.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
That was almost like a proposal.
On national television.
Damn it, I can't believe today was the day I decided to go all Alicia Keys! It had only been half an hour since Cash's bomb drop on national TV, but between the sex and the weird proposal thing, it suddenly seemed like my life was on adult fast-forward.
- CASH: Hey.
- Oh! - [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
- Hey.
- I was good, right? - Hey.
Yeah, you were amazing.
What's wrong? Okay, what was up with the whole, "I want Zoey Johnson to go wherever I go" thing? Was that for real or for the cameras? No, I meant that.
You're my girl.
If I get drafted, I want you by my side, styling me, having my back, being the Ayesha to my Steph.
Oh[CHUCKLES.]
What? Don't you want that? Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm I'm I'm just processing.
I mean, it's a lot.
And And what about What about my life? What about my dreams? Well, can't they travel with us? I guess.
Zoey, this is the reality of my life.
I'm probably not gonna be here in the next six months.
[SCOFFS.]
Six months is so soon.
I know.
And the idea of you not being there with me just doesn't feel right.
Just promise me you'll think about it.
Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
I promise.
Like I'll be able to think about anything else.
- Yes! - [SIGHS.]
Look, I'll give you $80.
$80?! We agreed on $100.
These are unreleased Cal U EQTs.
You know how fast you can run in these [Bleep.]
things? Now run your cheap, hagglin' ass out of here before I beat your ass with this box.
- Whoa, whoa.
What's going on here? - Hey.
We took your advice, and we found our hustle.
We realized we were sitting on a gold mine of free track gear, so Yeah, when we lose something, the school replaces it with no questions.
Wow.
Any chance you guys might lose a men's double XL track jacket? For the right price, I'll lose anything.
Okay, well, just make sure that it's large, 'cause you know I got the shoulders.
Question friends and family discount? Mm.
Hey, guys.
Uh-oh, there she is! The girl from TV who's got Cash Mooney all sprung.
Oh.
I almost didn't recognize her with makeup on.
Concealer and blush, Zoey.
That's all it would have taken.
God.
Hey, so I bet you're hoping that when Cash gets drafted, you get to go somewhere fly like Miami or like New York.
Ooh, or Portland! Chia-seed pudding and white people with dreadlocks.
[CHUCKLES.]
Am I right? No, nothing you say is right.
And Zoey's not gonna follow him.
Of course she's gonna follow him.
Any girl would follow him.
I mean, can I follow him? No, Ana's right.
I-I don't know if that's what I want to do.
Exactly.
Don't chase that pinga, girl.
Dude, this is not regular pinga.
This is $100 million pinga.
Baller pinga.
The kind they got on billboards and T-shirts and posters in little kids' bedrooms.
"Pinga" means "penis," doesn't it? - Mm-hmm.
- Can you just chill? I mean, the draft isn't for another six months.
I can make my decision then.
Wait.
So, six months from now, you think you're gonna be any less attached to him? [SCOFFS.]
I don't know.
I didn't even really think about it like that.
Well, maybe you should.
Because if you're not gonna go, then why are you still in this? Mnh.
Nomi, as my one normal friend, - what do you think? - [SCOFFS.]
What do I think? You really wanna know what I think? I think, once again, you've managed to hijack a perfectly nice night and make it about you.
Wait.
Did I miss something? Yeah, how about the last six texts that I sent you about what I was going through with Dave? Dave? Da Oh, right! Dave! How is he doing? We broke up.
But I guess it didn't have anything to do with you, so you didn't care.
No.
God.
No, no.
Nomi, I didn't know.
I'm so sorry that I've just been You should be sorry.
And you know what? You should go.
Follow Cash.
I mean, your head is already so far up his ass anyway, it wouldn't really make a difference if you stuck around here or not.
God, what happened to the sun shining brighter and the birds chirping louder? I mean, are all the birds dead? Who killed the birds? And I thought being in love was gonna make all my problems easier, but it just feels like it's making things worse.
Where the hell have you been, young lady? Oh.
Mom?! How did you get in here? Why are you not returning my calls and my texts, Zoey? [SIGHS.]
I'm in college.
I've been busy? Well, apparently, you're not too busy to be on the set of some sports talk show.
And when did you stop wearing makeup, sweetheart? What is going on? And who does this Cash think he is, making a point on national television of turning my daughter into a basketball wife? - Mom, it's not like that.
- Oh, it's not? - No.
- Really? Sweetie, what is going on? What's happening? Are you serious about this Cash guy? I mean [SCOFFS.]
[LAUGHS.]
I'm in love with him.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- My God.
This is your first love.
[CHUCKLING.]
Sweetheart, oh, my God! Oh.
H-Have you [SIGHS.]
Yes.
Wow! - Wow! - Are you mad? No! No, no.
No, I just don't I don't want to I just don't want to think about it.
But, sweetie, did you did you use protection? - Yes, of course.
- Yes, very good.
Nicely done, honey.
[SIGHS.]
Well [LAUGHS.]
You You're a young woman.
So it was was bound to happen at some point.
This is This is the first "some point," though, right? - Yes, Mom.
- Yes.
Okay.
And, um he asked me to leave with him when he goes pro.
And you said no, right? [CHUCKLING.]
'Cause, like Well Right? - What?! Wow! - Are you mad? Yes, I'm mad, Zoey! You're gonna throw your entire life away to go follow some guy?! But, Mom, you just said I am a young woman who can make my own decisions! That's what I'm supposed to say, Zoey.
You're not supposed to believe me! Zoey, I did not raise you like this! You're a woman who's just gonna throw it all away for some guy? You worked so hard to get in here! - Mom, there are colleges everywhere.
- What? I mean, I could go to school online if I wanted to.
Online? Yeah.
Online is if you want to join the militia or become a Wiccan priestess or cyberstalk Dennis Haysbert.
Sweetheart, I had such high hopes for you! You did? You know I didn't, sweetie.
Yet here you are, because I have worked so hard to set such a good example for you.
That's why I'm always telling you that I'm a doctor.
- No, it's not.
- No, it's not, but [SIGHS.]
Zoey, you are way too young to make this kind of life-changing decision.
Mom, there are kids my age making big choices much earlier.
But, Zoey, you are so much more than a basketball girlfriend.
- I know.
- Do you? I know, and I still will be.
I mean, I still want to be a designer, and I still want to run Vogue, and I still want to organize a Met Ball.
I mean, my dreams haven't changed, and no matter what, I still want to pursue them.
So, then why are you letting this guy get in front of all of them? [VOICE BREAKING.]
I'm not.
I mean, I haven't even made up my mind yet.
You don't think I know that my life, my family, my friends are here? I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't know what I'm doing.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Okay, I got an extra large seafood tower, triple shrimp.
- [GASPS.]
That's us! - That's us! Do you guys have bottle service? No, they do not.
Oh, I see someone ordered the Heart of the Ocean.
Are we celebrating something? - No.
- No.
Hmm.
Okay, girls.
Not only have you broken about seven NCAA rules, but also, the university's honor code, which it takes very seriously.
In fact, the only thing we take more seriously is our lucrative athletic apparel sponsorship deal with Adidas.
And you've put that in jeopardy.
We're sorry, Dean Parker.
You know, we were just so strapped for cash, and we didn't think it would hurt anybody.
We didn't think of Adidas.
Hey, look, I get it college is expensive.
You wouldn't believe some of the things I did as an undergrad to get money sleep studies, plasma sales, amateur magic shows Do either of you ladies have a quarter? Oh.
Another time.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Anyway, you will be punished with 100 hours of community service.
But because I understand your struggle, I think I can help you out.
How about I pay you $8 an hour to paint all those benches around campus? 8 bucks an hour? I'd rather give myself a Yankee Candle Brazilian.
We'll We'll take it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mm-hmm.
Cheers.
[SLURPS.]
I should really get going.
Coach wants to get a practice in tomorrow morning before we leave for Arizona.
Aww, can't you fake you're sick - and just stay this weekend? - [SCOFFS.]
I mean, we can lie in bed, and I'll nurse you until you're better while we watch "Love & Basketball" on a loop.
[CHUCKLES.]
I would so love to hide out with you, but we'd have people hunting us down.
Yeah.
Your coach on you? Oh, yeah.
All over me.
He said I need to get my head straight.
Focus on my game, not my girl.
Uhm, I'm kinda hating him right now.
Nah, he's just lookin' out.
No, but I don't get why people think that we can't make our own decisions.
I mean, I'm going with you.
Wait.
You decided? I did, and I am.
I mean, we're grown-ass people, and I wish everyone would treat us like it.
That's exactly what I came at Coach with.
Then he was all like, I'm just a kid who has no idea how real life is gonna be in the pros.
[SCOFFS LIGHTLY.]
Apparently, I'm gonna be gone all the time with summer leagues and practices and away games Oh, God, now I really hope you don't go to Utah.
I mean, that's a lot of alone time for me.
Z-Zo, I-I can't control where I end up.
Yeah.
No.
No, I know.
I-I was just kidding.
Kind of.
Kind of? Look, Cash, I'm just trying to think big picture the way everyone's on our asses to.
A year ago, big picture was me getting to college and playing well.
I finally made that happen, and now it's, like, all new pressures.
And I don't want to add to that.
[SIGHS.]
So you're saying you don't want to come with me? Wait.
What? No! No.
Where's Where's that coming from? I just said I did.
Wait.
Is that what you want? For me to let you off the hook? I just want things to be easy.
Yeah, and they can be easy if you're 100% sure of what you want.
You're 100% sure, yeah? [SCOFFS.]
Oh, my God.
You gotta be kidding me.
Look, Zo, I love you.
You know that.
And if this was a year from now and I knew where I was and what my life was like there, I'd be able to give you a head's-up about what you're stepping into.
And why the hell didn't you think of that before you asked me to go with you - on national television?! - Because I meant it! [VOICE BREAKING.]
Do you still? Yes, but No! No buts, because "but" isn't good enough for a huge, life-changing decision! I was about to leave my family and my home! I know.
I know.
And I'm sorry.
I'm just as confused as you are.
This whole thing is new to me and Yeah.
I-I don't know what to expect.
And I Neither do I, but I was willing to take the chance.
[SIGHS.]
I just don't want to break your heart.
It's a little too late for that.
You know what? It's time for you to go.
Zoey, come on No, just please go.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Goodbye, Zoey.
[CRYING.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SNIFFLES.]
[CRYING.]
[CRYING.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[SNIFFLES.]
Is Ana around? She got this dope new track jacket I wanted to borrow.
No.
She isn't here.
Cool.
I'll just take it without asking, then.
[CRYING.]
Not that I care, but are you crying? [VOICE BREAKING.]
No.
Good.
'Cause if you were, I wouldn't care.
[CRYING.]
I know I seem like a cold bitch, but I can't walk out of this room leaving you crying alone into a comforter.
[SNIFFLES.]
It might be a minute.
What's going on? [WHIMPERS.]
Is it Cash? Yeah.
What happened? We broke up.
Oh, honey.
I'm sorry I've been so selfish lately.
- I just feel so stupid.
- No.
You Okay, you have nothing to feel stupid about, okay? This love shit hurts, is all.
Can I say one thing? I'm really glad you're not following him.
I know we're kind of not speaking right now, but this place would really suck without you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
[BLOWS NOSE.]
- Can I say one more thing? - Yeah.
You sound like my grandpa when you blow your nose.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
I hate you.
Okay, I know I've said it before, but this time, it was for real.
You know just what to say And not that other kind of love, like when I held my baby brother Devante for the first time But I can't move my feet I didn't know that I was starving till I tasted you or when I saw the Beyoncé "Lemonade" video for the first time Don't need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo or the first time I experienced a Kogi Beef taco.
Oh, my [Bleep.]
God! No, this was a different kind of love, the kind that made colors seem brighter, the air seem cleaner, and the problems of the world just didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore.
And it was all because of him.
- [DING!.]
- Cassius Mooney.
My first real love.
- I was starving till I tasted you - My first everything.
I got you something.
I hope you like it.
Oh, yeah, till I tasted you Oh, my God.
Cash, I can't believe you did this.
Ah-ah-ah, ah-da-da-da Is that extra pickled cabbage? Da-da-da God, I love this man.
Something inside Me's changed I was so much younger yesterday Watch out, world, I'm grown now I'm grown Learn something new every day I don't know know, so I'ma feel my way Got the weight of the world on me But no regrets, this is what I say Watch out world, I'm grown now - I'm grown - You can tell me My heart beating so loud Mama, look, I'm grown now I'm grown [CRUNCHING.]
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
- Mm.
[CELLPHONE CHIMING.]
[CELLPHONE RINGING.]
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
- Stalker! Where have you been? What you been doing? Who you been doing it with? Whoa.
Didn't realize I had a second mom, and not in a fun Annette Bening-indie-film kind of way.
I was worried about you.
It's no big deal I was with Cash.
No, I know you were with Cash, but "with" in a sharing a milkshake with two straws kinda "with," or with-with, like in a late-night Skinemax movie kinda with? I think neither? Lying is a really bad color on you, Zoey.
Okay, fine.
We did it.
Yay, yay! Yay! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Tell me everything! I am not gonna tell you everything because a lady doesn't tell, and I am now technically and Biblically a lady.
- Aww! - [LAUGHS.]
What I can say for sure [SIGHS.]
I'm in love.
Awww! You bitch! Excuse me? Sorry.
I'm just jealous.
My first time was with an altar boy from Dade County.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'm so glad you did it with someone that you love.
- Yeah.
- But I'm kinda sad, though.
I'm not gonna see you anymore.
What are you talking about? Girl, I know how it is when you get your first pinga.
Especially when it's with someone that you love.
Okay, I have no clue what a pinga is, but it's not gonna change me.
I mean, I'm not gonna get all obsessive and start acting weird because I've had sex.
Cash and I are just enjoying our time together.
I'm not trying to make it a big deal and get all pinga crazy.
A pinga is a penis, isn't it? You're damn right it is.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Yo, how long have you been in here? It's barely 9:00.
The sad day drinkers are still here.
[SIGHS.]
We got here super early so we wouldn't have to pay the $5 cover.
VIVEK: I would've got you.
You know V-Digital takes care of his ladies.
Please stop with that nickname.
- It's never taking off.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Thought it was good.
- Here comes Sky.
- Please don't mention her face.
- What? Hey, guys.
Oh, my God.
What happened to your face?! Bitch, I thought you said it wasn't that bad! No, it's bad.
I tried to save money and do this at-home waxing thing, but all I had was a pumpkin spice Yankee Candle.
Autumn vibes, though.
Well, why the hell would you do that? Because waxing isn't cheap.
And the women in our family grow facial hair like Anthony Davis.
I thought you guys had free rides here, though.
Like, I always see you in the dope kicks, the fly hoodies.
Yeah, our ride covers room, board, and track gear.
Just enough to keep us alive and running for the school.
But not enough to keep us feeling human.
I mean, my nails look like I just crawled out of a well.
Mm.
So get a job.
When? Between 5:00 a.
m.
practices and midnight classes? Yeah, we're not gonna be those sad chicks at the fast-food joint selling burgers at 3:00 a.
m.
Hello? Is Is anyone back there who can make me a Sourdough Jack?! - Hello! - [HORNS HONKING.]
Hey, wait your turn! Man, if you guys really need some money, V-Didge can give you some side work.
Have you ever swallowed a balloon on purpose? [SIGHS.]
Bro, you make it so hard to root for you.
What you guys need is a side hustle, okay? When I'm broke, I write papers for the freshmen in Hawkins, so check there.
You guys need to find your lick.
To be honest, you are the story right now, so let's talk about you.
Okay.
I'm not gonna act like it's not hot to see the man you love on national television.
[CHUCKLING.]
I mean, especially since I dressed him.
If I left it up to Cash, he'd end up looking like one of those other fashion forward athletes.
So, how does it feel to be the hottest college player in the country right now? Honestly, I'm only as good as the people around me.
Okay, you've been well-prepped.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [WHISPERING.]
I'm that person.
So, what are your plans after this season? Are you one-and-done? Are you declaring for the draft? Cari, there's a lot of factors.
- You know that.
- All right.
Man, listen, no playing we're not here to play.
What are you going to do? What are these factors? Tell me something.
All right.
I don't know what my plans are after the season, but I know wherever I do end up, I want that girl with me.
And I'm saying it right here on your show I'm not going anywhere without Zoey Johnson.
You got the scoop first, Cari.
You're welcome.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
That was almost like a proposal.
On national television.
Damn it, I can't believe today was the day I decided to go all Alicia Keys! It had only been half an hour since Cash's bomb drop on national TV, but between the sex and the weird proposal thing, it suddenly seemed like my life was on adult fast-forward.
- CASH: Hey.
- Oh! - [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
- Hey.
- I was good, right? - Hey.
Yeah, you were amazing.
What's wrong? Okay, what was up with the whole, "I want Zoey Johnson to go wherever I go" thing? Was that for real or for the cameras? No, I meant that.
You're my girl.
If I get drafted, I want you by my side, styling me, having my back, being the Ayesha to my Steph.
Oh[CHUCKLES.]
What? Don't you want that? Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm I'm I'm just processing.
I mean, it's a lot.
And And what about What about my life? What about my dreams? Well, can't they travel with us? I guess.
Zoey, this is the reality of my life.
I'm probably not gonna be here in the next six months.
[SCOFFS.]
Six months is so soon.
I know.
And the idea of you not being there with me just doesn't feel right.
Just promise me you'll think about it.
Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
I promise.
Like I'll be able to think about anything else.
- Yes! - [SIGHS.]
Look, I'll give you $80.
$80?! We agreed on $100.
These are unreleased Cal U EQTs.
You know how fast you can run in these [Bleep.]
things? Now run your cheap, hagglin' ass out of here before I beat your ass with this box.
- Whoa, whoa.
What's going on here? - Hey.
We took your advice, and we found our hustle.
We realized we were sitting on a gold mine of free track gear, so Yeah, when we lose something, the school replaces it with no questions.
Wow.
Any chance you guys might lose a men's double XL track jacket? For the right price, I'll lose anything.
Okay, well, just make sure that it's large, 'cause you know I got the shoulders.
Question friends and family discount? Mm.
Hey, guys.
Uh-oh, there she is! The girl from TV who's got Cash Mooney all sprung.
Oh.
I almost didn't recognize her with makeup on.
Concealer and blush, Zoey.
That's all it would have taken.
God.
Hey, so I bet you're hoping that when Cash gets drafted, you get to go somewhere fly like Miami or like New York.
Ooh, or Portland! Chia-seed pudding and white people with dreadlocks.
[CHUCKLES.]
Am I right? No, nothing you say is right.
And Zoey's not gonna follow him.
Of course she's gonna follow him.
Any girl would follow him.
I mean, can I follow him? No, Ana's right.
I-I don't know if that's what I want to do.
Exactly.
Don't chase that pinga, girl.
Dude, this is not regular pinga.
This is $100 million pinga.
Baller pinga.
The kind they got on billboards and T-shirts and posters in little kids' bedrooms.
"Pinga" means "penis," doesn't it? - Mm-hmm.
- Can you just chill? I mean, the draft isn't for another six months.
I can make my decision then.
Wait.
So, six months from now, you think you're gonna be any less attached to him? [SCOFFS.]
I don't know.
I didn't even really think about it like that.
Well, maybe you should.
Because if you're not gonna go, then why are you still in this? Mnh.
Nomi, as my one normal friend, - what do you think? - [SCOFFS.]
What do I think? You really wanna know what I think? I think, once again, you've managed to hijack a perfectly nice night and make it about you.
Wait.
Did I miss something? Yeah, how about the last six texts that I sent you about what I was going through with Dave? Dave? Da Oh, right! Dave! How is he doing? We broke up.
But I guess it didn't have anything to do with you, so you didn't care.
No.
God.
No, no.
Nomi, I didn't know.
I'm so sorry that I've just been You should be sorry.
And you know what? You should go.
Follow Cash.
I mean, your head is already so far up his ass anyway, it wouldn't really make a difference if you stuck around here or not.
God, what happened to the sun shining brighter and the birds chirping louder? I mean, are all the birds dead? Who killed the birds? And I thought being in love was gonna make all my problems easier, but it just feels like it's making things worse.
Where the hell have you been, young lady? Oh.
Mom?! How did you get in here? Why are you not returning my calls and my texts, Zoey? [SIGHS.]
I'm in college.
I've been busy? Well, apparently, you're not too busy to be on the set of some sports talk show.
And when did you stop wearing makeup, sweetheart? What is going on? And who does this Cash think he is, making a point on national television of turning my daughter into a basketball wife? - Mom, it's not like that.
- Oh, it's not? - No.
- Really? Sweetie, what is going on? What's happening? Are you serious about this Cash guy? I mean [SCOFFS.]
[LAUGHS.]
I'm in love with him.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- My God.
This is your first love.
[CHUCKLING.]
Sweetheart, oh, my God! Oh.
H-Have you [SIGHS.]
Yes.
Wow! - Wow! - Are you mad? No! No, no.
No, I just don't I don't want to I just don't want to think about it.
But, sweetie, did you did you use protection? - Yes, of course.
- Yes, very good.
Nicely done, honey.
[SIGHS.]
Well [LAUGHS.]
You You're a young woman.
So it was was bound to happen at some point.
This is This is the first "some point," though, right? - Yes, Mom.
- Yes.
Okay.
And, um he asked me to leave with him when he goes pro.
And you said no, right? [CHUCKLING.]
'Cause, like Well Right? - What?! Wow! - Are you mad? Yes, I'm mad, Zoey! You're gonna throw your entire life away to go follow some guy?! But, Mom, you just said I am a young woman who can make my own decisions! That's what I'm supposed to say, Zoey.
You're not supposed to believe me! Zoey, I did not raise you like this! You're a woman who's just gonna throw it all away for some guy? You worked so hard to get in here! - Mom, there are colleges everywhere.
- What? I mean, I could go to school online if I wanted to.
Online? Yeah.
Online is if you want to join the militia or become a Wiccan priestess or cyberstalk Dennis Haysbert.
Sweetheart, I had such high hopes for you! You did? You know I didn't, sweetie.
Yet here you are, because I have worked so hard to set such a good example for you.
That's why I'm always telling you that I'm a doctor.
- No, it's not.
- No, it's not, but [SIGHS.]
Zoey, you are way too young to make this kind of life-changing decision.
Mom, there are kids my age making big choices much earlier.
But, Zoey, you are so much more than a basketball girlfriend.
- I know.
- Do you? I know, and I still will be.
I mean, I still want to be a designer, and I still want to run Vogue, and I still want to organize a Met Ball.
I mean, my dreams haven't changed, and no matter what, I still want to pursue them.
So, then why are you letting this guy get in front of all of them? [VOICE BREAKING.]
I'm not.
I mean, I haven't even made up my mind yet.
You don't think I know that my life, my family, my friends are here? I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't know what I'm doing.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Okay, I got an extra large seafood tower, triple shrimp.
- [GASPS.]
That's us! - That's us! Do you guys have bottle service? No, they do not.
Oh, I see someone ordered the Heart of the Ocean.
Are we celebrating something? - No.
- No.
Hmm.
Okay, girls.
Not only have you broken about seven NCAA rules, but also, the university's honor code, which it takes very seriously.
In fact, the only thing we take more seriously is our lucrative athletic apparel sponsorship deal with Adidas.
And you've put that in jeopardy.
We're sorry, Dean Parker.
You know, we were just so strapped for cash, and we didn't think it would hurt anybody.
We didn't think of Adidas.
Hey, look, I get it college is expensive.
You wouldn't believe some of the things I did as an undergrad to get money sleep studies, plasma sales, amateur magic shows Do either of you ladies have a quarter? Oh.
Another time.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Anyway, you will be punished with 100 hours of community service.
But because I understand your struggle, I think I can help you out.
How about I pay you $8 an hour to paint all those benches around campus? 8 bucks an hour? I'd rather give myself a Yankee Candle Brazilian.
We'll We'll take it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mm-hmm.
Cheers.
[SLURPS.]
I should really get going.
Coach wants to get a practice in tomorrow morning before we leave for Arizona.
Aww, can't you fake you're sick - and just stay this weekend? - [SCOFFS.]
I mean, we can lie in bed, and I'll nurse you until you're better while we watch "Love & Basketball" on a loop.
[CHUCKLES.]
I would so love to hide out with you, but we'd have people hunting us down.
Yeah.
Your coach on you? Oh, yeah.
All over me.
He said I need to get my head straight.
Focus on my game, not my girl.
Uhm, I'm kinda hating him right now.
Nah, he's just lookin' out.
No, but I don't get why people think that we can't make our own decisions.
I mean, I'm going with you.
Wait.
You decided? I did, and I am.
I mean, we're grown-ass people, and I wish everyone would treat us like it.
That's exactly what I came at Coach with.
Then he was all like, I'm just a kid who has no idea how real life is gonna be in the pros.
[SCOFFS LIGHTLY.]
Apparently, I'm gonna be gone all the time with summer leagues and practices and away games Oh, God, now I really hope you don't go to Utah.
I mean, that's a lot of alone time for me.
Z-Zo, I-I can't control where I end up.
Yeah.
No.
No, I know.
I-I was just kidding.
Kind of.
Kind of? Look, Cash, I'm just trying to think big picture the way everyone's on our asses to.
A year ago, big picture was me getting to college and playing well.
I finally made that happen, and now it's, like, all new pressures.
And I don't want to add to that.
[SIGHS.]
So you're saying you don't want to come with me? Wait.
What? No! No.
Where's Where's that coming from? I just said I did.
Wait.
Is that what you want? For me to let you off the hook? I just want things to be easy.
Yeah, and they can be easy if you're 100% sure of what you want.
You're 100% sure, yeah? [SCOFFS.]
Oh, my God.
You gotta be kidding me.
Look, Zo, I love you.
You know that.
And if this was a year from now and I knew where I was and what my life was like there, I'd be able to give you a head's-up about what you're stepping into.
And why the hell didn't you think of that before you asked me to go with you - on national television?! - Because I meant it! [VOICE BREAKING.]
Do you still? Yes, but No! No buts, because "but" isn't good enough for a huge, life-changing decision! I was about to leave my family and my home! I know.
I know.
And I'm sorry.
I'm just as confused as you are.
This whole thing is new to me and Yeah.
I-I don't know what to expect.
And I Neither do I, but I was willing to take the chance.
[SIGHS.]
I just don't want to break your heart.
It's a little too late for that.
You know what? It's time for you to go.
Zoey, come on No, just please go.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Goodbye, Zoey.
[CRYING.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SNIFFLES.]
[CRYING.]
[CRYING.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[SNIFFLES.]
Is Ana around? She got this dope new track jacket I wanted to borrow.
No.
She isn't here.
Cool.
I'll just take it without asking, then.
[CRYING.]
Not that I care, but are you crying? [VOICE BREAKING.]
No.
Good.
'Cause if you were, I wouldn't care.
[CRYING.]
I know I seem like a cold bitch, but I can't walk out of this room leaving you crying alone into a comforter.
[SNIFFLES.]
It might be a minute.
What's going on? [WHIMPERS.]
Is it Cash? Yeah.
What happened? We broke up.
Oh, honey.
I'm sorry I've been so selfish lately.
- I just feel so stupid.
- No.
You Okay, you have nothing to feel stupid about, okay? This love shit hurts, is all.
Can I say one thing? I'm really glad you're not following him.
I know we're kind of not speaking right now, but this place would really suck without you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
[BLOWS NOSE.]
- Can I say one more thing? - Yeah.
You sound like my grandpa when you blow your nose.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
I hate you.