Hailey's on It! (2023) s01e06 Episode Script

1
[Beta] Chaos-bots have been
sent from the future
to stop the one person
who can save the world!
Me?
Hey! Hey! Hailey's on it ♪
Teach a cat To play the piano ♪
Rollerskate all the way to Orlando ♪
Use my earwax?
To make a candle ♪
Hey! Hey! Hailey's on it! ♪
Win first place
For world's cutest pet rock ♪
Do a corn maze
Hope I don't get lost ♪
Eat an onion ♪
Kiss my friend Scott?
Huh? Aah!
Hey! Hey! Hailey's on it! ♪
[microphone feedback]
[teacher] Students, please take your seats
for today's assembly.
Please also note that Fish Stick Friday
will now be next Thursday.
We will still call it Fish Stick Friday.
So, I got everything we need
for the Strawberry Moon Owl Habitat.
-The wood, the screws
-The owl?
Uh, no.
But if the habitat's good enough,
the owl will find it!
Then list item number 77,
"Take a Photo with
the Strawberry Moon Owl,"
will be complete!
Whoa-ho-ho! Cool model!
-Can I move in?
-You already did!
Whoa, I look good tiny!
We really have to get this right.
The Strawberry Moon Owl only appears
during a rare Strawberry Moon,
so our window is kinda small.
[Scott] Our window may be small,
but our Scott is super tall!
Tallest person ever!
But yeah, I'm totally on board. [chuckles]
Just not sure why you picked
a super rare owl
instead of something easier,
like those pigeons under the bleachers
that are always fighting over curly fries.
[squawking]
Believe me, steering those pigeons
away from a life of aggression
is on the list,
but the reason I wanted
to get a picture with the owl
is because this one
has special meaning for me.
When I first learned to ride a bike,
all I wanted was to ride on my own
-Ahh!
- but I doubted myself.
And then, out of nowhere,
there it was, the Strawberry Moon Owl.
-[laughs]
-It was like it was calling to me
I know it sounds weird,
but that owl was there for me
and it gave me the confidence
to believe in myself.
Cool! That's what donuts do for me.
[announcer] Oceanside!
Welcome to The Puzzledome!
But first, reach under your seats, kids,
for a special surprise!
Now, prepare yourself
for the world's most awe-inspiring,
death defying,
electrifying cube-puzzle stunt team,
the Cubix Dudes!
White Knight! Steel Teal! Pink Lynx!
Green Machine! Violet Pilot!
And Orange Guy!
Whoo-hoo!
Like a champion ♪
This is awesome!
[cheering]
So, what was the purpose
of doing this during school?
I mean, even those unicyclers
last week did songs about math.
Remember, kids: Plaque is wack!
Ah, there it is.
"You're my Fluoride or Die, Frailey."
Frailey?!
You're welcome!
Hey, Frailey! I mean, Hailey!
I've been doing a lot of thinking
over the past seven minutes,
and I really think cubing's my new thing!
Scott, "cubing" isn't that easy.
-It's a complex puzzle that requires--
-Done!
skills you apparently have?
You're a natural, bro!
Well, hello, Mister Lynx.
Allow me to-- Ow! What the beans?!
[clears throat]
As I was saying, Mister Lynx,
you may address my autograph as follows:
"To my most brilliant and tall fan, AC,
who is exceptional in all ways,
but mostly in intelligence
and also in height, I humbly bequeath--"
Ah! My hand! It completely locked up!
Uh-oh, looks like Cuber's Wrist.
It's gonna be okay, little buddy!
It's not gonna be okay!
If he can't cube,
who will do the show tomorrow?
We need someone with natural skill!
Who also fits an adult medium sweatshirt!
[Pink Lynx grunts] You'll never find
a replacement for me!
You think some shlub
off the street can do what I do?
-This shlub can.
-I think we found ourselves a replacement!
Wait, are you serious?
Of course, we're serious!
Or my name isn't Green Machine!
Is your name Green Machine?
[Pink Lynx] It's Jeff!
And your new name is Pink Lynx!
Time for a photo shoot! Let's go!
But, Scott, what about the owl habitat?
I'll still be able to help. Don't worry!
I'm worried.
[Pink Lynx] My name is also Jeff!
[grunts]
Ahh!
[yelps]
Hey! Watch it!
You do realize if I get crushed,
you won't have me around to help.
Playing Animal Party
and saying "build faster"
isn't "helping," Beta.
If Scott was here,
this never would have happened.
He was supposed to be here hours ago!
What's up, squares? Ha!
In the cubing world, that's a good thing.
In the real world, you're a buffoon.
Had a pretty epic day with the Dudes!
We did a bunch of interviews,
had a slammin' rehearsal,
and then all crammed into a photo booth!
Took us 45 minutes to get out of there.
Well, I'm glad you're finally here.
I was worried
you wouldn't show up to help.
Admittedly, this habitat
is heavier than I planned,
but, I mean, what was I gonna do,
not include a walk-in bird bath?
Don't worry, Hales!
I'll always be here for you.
Even when I'm not here because
I'm out being a professional cuber.
"Professional cuber"?
Scott, don't get ahead of yourself.
This is just another thing
you'll get bored with,
like you've done with
so many hobbies over the years:
-stone skipping
-Celery juicing
Snail racing
But this is different!
And I'll get a chance to show you
at our big show this Saturday night!
Saturday night?! You imbecile,
that's the night of the Strawberry Moon!
Sorry, Scott, but we need you to be here.
But, Hailey, I don't
wanna lose this chance!
And I don't wanna
let the Dudes down, either.
But if you do the show,
then you're letting me down.
[grunts] And honestly, Scott,
my list is more important than your show.
Is that right?
Hailey, I'm doing the Cubix Dudes show.
You'll have to find someone else
to help you this time.
[gasps]
[Beta in cute voice] "I wuv you!"
[normal voice] No, I don't.
[grunting]
[sighs]
[gasps]
Hailey! You came!
No, I'm Harley!
Hey, you wanna hear a story
about my touring days?
It's three hours long
and has no discernible end!
[sighs]
-Scott?
-[record scratch]
No, it's Yacht. Yacht Lobster House!
I have your delivery order.
[Kai] Hooray! My dinner's here!
[sighs]
Hey, don't look so sad!
You know I'll share my calamari.
No, it's not that [gasps] Ugh!
I've ruined everything!
The owl's never gonna come
without a habitat,
and I totally ruined
my friendship with Scott.
Hailey, your relationship
with Scott is incredibly strong.
I've seen you hit him with a horseshoe
on three separate occasions,
and he always comes back.
Trust me, things will come together.
You'll see.
How can you be so sure?
Have I ever told you
about the night you were born?
I was thrilled that night.
To finally hold you,
the little one I had dreamt
of for so long.
But looking at you,
so peaceful, so fragile,
I doubted myself.
Was I smart enough, or strong enough,
or good enough to be your dad?
I felt like I needed a miracle.
-And just then,
-[owl hoots]
a Strawberry Moon Owl
landed on the windowsill.
And at that moment, I felt
so connected to our ancestors.
It was as if we were visited by the pueo,
our family's aumakua,
our guardian spirit.
It was then I realized I was
holding our own little miracle,
a shining gift from the heavens above.
That's why we chose
your middle name, 'Alohilani,'
"the sparkling heavens."
You've never told me that before.
I still have a few stories up my sleeve.
Like the time we almost left you
at the bus station.
-Wait, what?
-Point is, the owl will come.
E 'ike 'oe i kou hoa aloha.
"Like a good friend, they're always there
when you need them most."
Time for me to be a good friend, too.
[crunching]
[beeping, chatter]
Yes, can I place another order
for calamari?
And then in '96, I toured with
The Big Rude Crawdaddies,
who, despite their name,
were really nice guys
who were actually allergic to shellfish.
[gasps]
[sighs]
[announcer] Bank of Temecula Amphitheater,
welcome to The Puzzledome!
I've been through the fire
I've been through the rain ♪
Yeah, I've been a fighter
Killer in the game ♪
Held my head high
Bare-knucklin' the pain ♪
Like a champion ♪
-[cheering]
-Rising from the ashes ♪
Look at what I've become ♪
Spin the world off its axis ♪
Like a champion ♪
Never giving up
Never backing down ♪
I'ma keep climbing
till I get the crown ♪
[cheering]
[screams]
Wow, Scott, hi, huge fan.
Huge! Love your work!
[chuckles]
Can I have a name for the photo?
Oh, man, I don't know,
how 'bout Mister Photo?
Scott, don't be ridiculous.
It's Doctor Photo.
[clears throat] It's Hailey.
Got it. Frailey.
That's not even a name!
Scott, I'm sorry. I was wrong.
Your stuff is just as important
as my stuff.
And I'm happy to support your long
and fruitful cubing career
no matter what.
Nah, I'm done with cubing.
-What?
-Yeah, I didn't really realize it before,
but cubing, kinda pointless.
Now let's get that photo
with the Moon Owl!
Unfortunately,
the Strawberry Moon is over.
But don't worry, we'll get the next one.
Being here to support you
was way more important.
-[chime]
-Wait! We accomplished the list item?
How is that even possible?
[photographer] Photo for Frailey!
[Hailey gasps] Dad was right.
Like a good friend, it was here
when I needed it most.
$20 for the photo, please.
-$20? What a rip!
-Hey, what's that?
Go, go, go!
[hooting]
Okay, Scott, just one more!
I can't feel my brain!
It's okay, Scott, you never had one.
[whimpers]
This one's for you, Great-Great-Grandpa.
"Make a Popsicle stick replica
of the lighthouse," complete.
Well done, Hai-- [grunts]
Beta, you okay?
[yelps] The Professor! You're here?
Congratulations, Hailey!
You just completed your 50th list item!
All of us here in the future
are so proud of you. High five!
Gotcha! I'm a hologram.
We can't really high five.
[chuckles] Man, I wish I could see
the look on your face right now.
[grumbles]
You must have a million questions for me.
Yes! Am I doing everything right?
What happens in the future?
Is Taco Tuesday still a thing--
And while I'd love to answer
everything, like I said,
-I'm a hologram, and this is a recording.
-Of course, it is.
Anyway, in celebration
of your amazing progress,
I have a gift for you!
The first time we met,
I left something special
for you in your room.
I hid it in a place
I knew you would never look.
Those roller skates
you begged your parents for
and said you'd use all the time.
I do use them all the time, kinda.
Whoa! It's a
I don't know. What is it?
That orb is an all-powerful item
you invent in the future, Hailey!
High five!
Gotcha! Ha! Still a hologram.
That never gets old.
Anyway, to activate it,
all you have to do is--
[Scott grunts, groans]
Wait! What happened?
Whoa, why is everything blue?
And why am I sticky? Ow!
[chuckles] No idea!
Ugh, ew, ew! Ugh! Ew!
Dang it! Now I have no idea
what this thing does.
Or how to activate it.
Give it here. I can figure it out.
Hmm.
Well, I'm out of ideas.
Enough of this orb-licking buffoonery.
Let's get back to work.
It's time for list item #200:
"Get Chan Yee's autograph."
-Yes!
-[squeals]
Chan Yee is a legend among legends.
She created the greatest superhero comic-
turned-book-series-turned-
TV show of all time.
I know! It's called Hero Force:
Force of Heroes, and--
-I know!
-Wait, you know?
Of course. I'm a huge fan.
Also, you have a
Hero Force shrine in your room.
[Hailey] Oh, right. [chuckles]
This list item must have come up
because this weekend is Hero Con,
the only time all year
that Chan Yee makes a public appearance.
Let's get our cosplay ready!
[gasps] Wait! The orb!
It's perfect for my costume!
Uh, no, no, no. Terrible idea.
We still don't know what that thing does.
"Heroes aren't afraid
of the unknown," Beta.
Issue 534, where the Hero Force
visited the sideways dimension.
I know what you're trying to do
and it worked! Time to get ready!
[Hailey] Heroes, join forces!
I am Futurisma, and I stand for justice!
I'm Silver Jaguar. Ra-ra-rawr!
-[roaring]
-Rawr! Yeah, that's it!
And I'm the Hangry Giant!
And these muscles
aren't all padding. I'm yoked!
[Hailey] That's not his catchphrase!
It is now.
And now, on to Hero Con!
-Five hours down!
-[cheering]
Five more till the doors open!
[groaning]
Whew! It feels so good to be out
in the open with this costume.
I mean, I am far from
the weirdest one here.
Heh, look at this dweebus.
Hey, are you Jet Man or a tissue box?
Both!
Okay, Beta, don't abuse
your cosplay freedom.
You can only get away with so much
before people start asking questions.
[woman] But it's all I could get!
We can't do anything
with only three V.I.P. passes, Tia.
What about the others in our group?
They'll want to sit
in the front row with us
and have all-you-can-eat shrimp.
Maybe I should rip the passes into pieces?
Ah, don't you dare!
Those passes are worth
hundreds of dollars.
I guess I'll just have to go find
the three biggest
Hero Force fans in this line
and beg them to trade their spot with us.
[all] Hello!
We would be happy-- no, thrilled--
no, we would literally do
anything to get those passes!
You want a thumb? I'll give you a thumb!
I'll give you both his thumbs!
And may I add, what an exquisite job
you've done
with your Master Metamorphosis costume.
I don't know.
Do these guys look like big enough fans
to be worthy of our V.I.P. passes?
Please! Look, you can have
our sweet spot here,
where your whole group can join you.
All right, you've got yourself a deal.
-V.I.P.!
-[cheering]
Your V.I.P. line is right over there.
Kinda weird that it's all dudes
in this V.I.P. line.
[sniffs] But I can smell that shrimp!
We're in line for the bathroom?
[pants]
Why does it still smell like shrimp?!
We got scammed!
Hey! There is no V.I.P. line! You lied!
And I'm beginning to think
these passes are fake, too!
I scammed you fair and square,
little girl, all right?
And there's nothing you or cat boy
or the hungry baby can do about it.
Oh, there is something we can
do about it, actually.
Get justice by tattling.
Security? We need to file
a complaint and--
[all scream]
He really is Master Metamorphosis!
He's a shapeshifter!
Oh [chuckles] You must think
I'm my handsome twin brother, Arlo.
No, no, no, I'm Atticus.
What happened, did my brother
sell fake passes
and force you out of line?
Well, he didn't force us,
we kinda told him
he could have our spot.
And he didn't sell us the passes,
we kinda begged him to
trade them to us, but still!
Well, then it sounds like
he scammed you fair and square!
And that means you are in
possession of fraudulent passes,
so I'm gonna need you
to vacate the premises.
Move, move, move, move, move.
Oh, man. This is just like Hero
Force issue number 481!
439! Uh, I mean, 481!
We need to do what the Hero Force did.
Page after page of hero poses?
No! Assemble the Heroes!
We will face these bullies!
[all] Yeah, we will!
We will reclaim our spots in line!
[all] Yeah, we will!
And we will fight these tyrants
if we must! Let's go!
-Nope, and that's why--
-[Hailey] Listen up!
You messed with the wrong super-fans.
Now you're gonna feel the wrath
of the entire Hero Force!
Right, guys?
Guys?
Uh, we don't really do
physical confrontation.
Fine. I'll do it myself.
I am Futurisma, and I stand for justice!
[all laugh]
Look, I really need to get inside Hero Con
and meet Chan Yee.
The future of the planet depends on me.
[scoffs] Did you hear this kid?
She actually thinks
she's gonna save the world!
I think that costume's gone to her head!
[snickering]
[grunts]
Futurisma? More like Futur-was-ma!
[grunts]
[laughter]
Come on, Hailey, let's get outta here!
We can just buy some shrimp back home!
I'm gonna do something crazy:
agree with Scott. Let's go!
No!
What these bullies did was wrong.
Even if we can't win,
we need to fight for justice.
[chuckles]
[Professor] Hailey Banks, can you hear me?
On your left.
[gasps]
[all gasp]
[gasps]
Heroes, Join Forces!
I didn't eat anything before this,
so now, I'm hangry!
Oh! So yoked!
[screaming]
[Tia] There are consequences
to our bullying!
[cheering]
See? I told you the Hero Force
was real, Mark!
Pretty cool, huh?
Uh, yeah! So did the orb bring
the Hero Force to life?
Ha! No, these are cosplayers
from the future.
Even in the way future,
Hero Con's a big deal to these nerds.
-[groaning]
-I mean, "enthusiastic fans."
See, the orb summoned me
when you needed help,
and these guys jumped at the chance
to help the real Hailey Banks.
Wow! So the orb will summon you
whenever I need help?
It would have, but you smashed it,
so looks like that was a one-time thing.
Why would you put it on your costume?
Thank you!
Miss Banks, do you think
we could get a photo with you?
Um, sure!
Okay, "heroes," back in the portal.
Jet Man left the lights on
in his hover truck.
And yes, Hangry Giant,
I'm still buying you all chimichangas.
Yes!
Thank you so much, Professor.
I owe you one.
Ooh, I'll cash in on that right now.
Get me a Chan Yee autograph, too, will ya?
I used to have one,
but I spilled a smoothie on it.
I'm on it! But aren't you
forgetting something?
Tomorrow's jackpot numbers?
Oh, right! So nice not to be
cut-off for once! All right.
[yelps]
Classic Professor.
[cheering]
[drone] Delivery! Have a nice day.
[groans] Stupid delivery drones.
Yes! My Chan Yee autograph!
Heroes, join forces!
Aw, dang it!
I've been through the fire
I've been through the rain ♪
Yeah, I've been a fighter
Killer in the game ♪
Held my head high
Bare-knucklin' the pain ♪
Like a champion ♪
-Rising from the ashes ♪
-Look what I've become ♪
Spin the world off its axis ♪
Like a champion ♪
Never giving up
Never backing down ♪
I was born to blaze trails
On dangerous ground ♪
I'ma keep climbing till I get
The crown ♪