Harlem (2021) s01e06 Episode Script
Cuffing Season
1
[Leslie Odom Jr: "Snow"]
[Odom Jr] Candles glow ♪
So happy that I can
see you again ♪
Wonderful time
with my family and friends ♪
Ain't nothin' better
than this ♪
Yeah ♪
For all we know ♪
This time may not
come around again ♪
And that's why I never
want it to end
[Camille] Winter is here,
and with its arrival
comes colder temps,
oversized sweaters,
seasonal lattes,
and most importantly,
cuffing season
the term we've coined
for that time of year
when humans all over the world
find themselves
desiring to be cuffed
or tied down to someone else.
New term,
but not a new phenomenon.
Throughout history,
physical coldness
has been proven
to activate a need
for psychological warmth
and security.
The mere look or smell
of your partner
will increase levels
of oxytocin
also called
the cuddle hormone.
And you're filled with
feelings of mild euphoria.
In fact,
evolutionarily speaking,
the cuffing months
are the most fertile season
with birth rates
at their highest
nine months later
in August and September.
So, if human beings
had a mating season,
well, this would be it. Okay.
I want everyone to listen
to the "Sex Hurts"
interview with anthropologist
Helen Fisher
and give me a three to five
page response by Thursday.
Stay warm.
[low background chatter]
Dr. Parks, Dr. Pruitt
wants to see us in her office.
- Us?
- Us.
See?
She messaged me on Facebook.
Dr. Pruitt has Facebook?
Yeah, we send each
other funny cat videos.
Oh, that's cool.
I like cats. Ha.
[Dr. Pruitt]
So thank you for coming.
Of course. Oh, and Nora
showed me your message.
And I'm also on Facebook
in case you wanted to,
you know,
be friends or something.
Yeah. So, Nora has
put together research
on various forms of pottery
found at
the Seneca Village site.
It's dense, so feel free to ask
if anything is confusing.
Well, you know,
it's not as dense
as my thesis on Seneca village,
so I I think I'll be okay.
All right.
I'd like the two of you
to put together a presentation.
Nora, I'd like you
to focus on connections
to the local
indigenous techniques.
And Camille, I thought
you could talk about
possible connections
to West African traditions.
'Cause I'm Native
and you're Black.
That's brilliant, Dr. Pruitt.
[light music]
Okay. Yes. Which puts you
on the same page, yes?
[Camille] Definitely.
What evil, straight white man
do we have to thank
for deciding
that women need to
steam their vaginas?
Gwyneth Paltrow.
Goop sells personal v-pods
for $1,800 a pop.
Oh, that sounds about white.
Mm.
[Quinn] I don't dunno.
Maybe V steaming was a little
too intimate an activity.
Given the fact that
the last time we hung out
wasn't exactly pleasant.
Quinn, I've been meaning
to apologize.
I'm sorry too.
[both] I love you.
[both giggling]
See? We have to sit
in the uncomfortable
to get back to the comfortable.
Plus, I needed to get
my vagina ready
for "Big Nigga Season."
Big nigga what?
Girl, it's like
you don't live on Earth.
Big Nigga Season
is when you find a guy
with a little extra
for the winter.
All my go-tos
are already taken.
With rehearsals and nannying,
my ass is behind
on locking down
some big nigga dick.
- Hey, D?
- What up, Ange?
Surprised I didn't hear
from you this year.
You know, I was
out here hustling
and lost track of the seasons,
but I'm ready for you now.
Babe, I'm cold.
Oh, is this your sister?
Cold sister?
Cousin? Taskrabbit?
Nice seeing you.
Stay warm out there, Ang.
Yep. Stay warm.
No, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
You got any big nigga brothers?
You know, I'm not gonna
survive the winter
without the extra body warmth!
I usually got a nice rotation
going on by now.
[whispering]
Thank you, thank you.
Sorry. Sorry.
Thought you said
it was just us.
I did as a ploy.
You be too stubborn
for your own good sometimes.
Let's cut the middle-school
bullshit.
It's been two weeks.
- Camille?
- Hmm.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I agreed
to design Myra's dress
without talking to you
about it first.
I was just so excited
about getting a big opportunity
that I just jumped at it.
It just sucks
that you hid it from me.
For a day? Sometimes you're not
the easiest to talk to
when you're upset.
That's fair. [sighs]
Just felt like
Mira snatched my dream life.
And I just I would hate it
if she snatched my friends too.
Absolutely not. Never.
And I love you.
- I love you too.
- Oh!
Now titty bump and make up.
Come on, now.
- Mmm.
- [giggling]
- I love you.
- I love you too.
Quinn, you still got
your panties on?
Girl, I don't know what other
coochy has been on this thing,
and y'all know
I can't be naked in public.
[laughter]
Stop, I'm serious!
[Angie] Oh, my God.
See, girl?
I can't stay mad at you.
And Ms. Forbes's interview
can't stay mad at Tye.
Girl, I was expecting her
to trash your ass.
But she wrote a glowing review.
I owe her a solid for hooking
me up with that article.
Is that solid your pussy?
Quinn!
[Tye] Oh, my God!
Have you been
practicing saying pussy?
I have. Thanks for noticing.
[Angie] Y'all, hold up.
What the fuck am I
doing here with y'all?
Everybody made up.
Now I gotta get to rehearsal.
[mellow hip-hop]
Okay, guys.
So we're starting from the top
of the "Sunken Place."
Positions, please.
And
[eerie piano melody]
Scrape clink ♪
Scrape clink,
you're sinking ♪
Scrape clink, scrape clink ♪
You're sinking ♪
Something is strange ♪
Something seems shady ♪
Who told your black ass
to trust a white lady? ♪
Scrape clink, scrape clink ♪
You're sinking ♪
A tiny cup of tea ♪
As the spoon
keeps twirling ♪
Hypnotizing you ♪
Till the room
starts swirling ♪
You sink into the couch ♪
You're sinking
to the floor ♪
You're trapped ♪
Which is a metaphor ♪
You're in the Sunken Place ♪
You're sinking,
you're sinking ♪
The Sunken Place,
you're sinking ♪
A single tearful
falls down your face ♪
Ooh, clink ♪
You're in the Sunken Place ♪
You're sinking,
keep sinking ♪
The Sunken Place,
you're sinking ♪
"Twelve Years a Slave"
meets outer space ♪
This is a Sunken Place ♪
Is this is a dream ♪
Or are you high ♪
Am just a small Black man
in a big black sky ♪
You try to scream
but you only choke ♪
You're asleep, but it's
time you got hashtag woke ♪
From the Sunken Place ♪
No one hears you shout ♪
The Sunken Place ♪
It tells you can't get out ♪
Another brother gone,
without a trace ♪
Without a trace ♪
Without a trace ♪
Into the Sunken Place ♪
You're sinking,
you're sinking ♪
Scrape, clink ♪
[loud clapping]
[director] Yes. Beautiful.
That's lunch.
[Eric] What do you mean
we're not going to lunch?
Why?
[Trent] I love your abs.
But, Eric, you're built
like a summer situation.
I need thick thighs
to keep me warm.
So you were always
gonna dump me?
[Trent] I'll text you in May.
- [Eric scoffs]
She better hope I have
the same number.
- And you brought the man?
- I had fun.
Oh, I'm sorry. That was brutal.
I should have seen it coming.
Yeah, a little.
But if it helps,
I slipped on
Big Nigga Season too.
Wasn't it just
"Hot Girl Summer"?
And then Breast Cancer
Awareness Month,
and I was wearing
all that pink.
Look, I gotta pick up
this kid I nanny
and take her home,
but then I'm in search
of a big nigga myself
if you wanted
to join the mission.
Well, we just broke up
one minute ago,
which is more than enough time
to move on
and my find my own bear
to hibernate with.
- Let's go then.
- Okay. Let's go find them.
[Eric] Lions and tigers
and bears, oh, my!
Come on. Ha.
[mellow R&B]
♪
Hey.
Hey, Anna.
- Thank you for coming.
- What's up?
Must be important for you
to want to meet me in public.
Okay. That's fair.
I just wanted to tell you
that I read the article.
Well, I'd hope so. And?
And I didn't expect it
to be so good.
I can't tell if
that's an insult or
- It's a compliment.
- Okay.
Well
I like a compliment.
So
So, we good, right?
I mean, I just don't like
the way we left things.
We? You told me
that you liked me
and then five seconds later,
you broke up with me
in the middle of the street.
And you called me a coward.
That's only because we were
acting like a coward.
Clearly, you can't
accept an apology.
Where was the apology?
Me calling you was the apology.
- [scoffs]
- But look,
I missed hanging out with you.
I still want us to be cool.
Are you kidding me? [laughs]
You know what? Fuck you.
I read this right
on that first night
when I left
without giving you my number.
So why don't we
go back to that?
Delete me and I'll delete you.
Cool?
- [door closes]
- Hi-hi.
Mom.
You remember Isabella?
Of course.
How could I forget my mentor?
- Hi, Quinn.
- She needs your help.
Impossible.
She's going to be president.
True, but I do need your help.
As much as I like to believe
we're past women in politics
having to worry
about their fashion choices,
the internet says otherwise.
Some troll said she looks like
Ross Dress for Less
shit on old Navy.
Oh, the internet is brutal.
So today is make-over day.
- Only if you have time.
- Oh, I assured her
that I am your only
paying customer,
so you will have time.
Actually, that's not true.
I am currently designing a
I know, I know, you're so busy.
I have to fight through
the crowd to get in here.
Listen, put together
some pieces,
make her look good,
but not trashy.
She's working-class,
so poor, but not sad.
You're in good hands, Isabella.
Okay. I'm off to the Botox doc.
I hate when my disappointment
is visible.
[Camille] Mom, please.
I could literally bounce
a quarter off your forehead.
If only you had
a quarter to bounce.
Ciao!
Ciao.
She is something.
Yeah, better word
than I would have chosen.
Let's try on clothes.
How does it look?
[singers] Hey, lady
- I like it!
- I feel that,
but you
going for president, girl.
- I like it!
- No.
I might be the kind of
- new kind of president.
- No!
- No?
- No.
It's not bad.
I mean, it's my design, so
- All right.
- Oh, a design for you!
Look at you oh!
Pink is the new black, honey.
Ooh, maybe not that pink.
What about this?
[singers] So fine
you can run around
Aah! Ha ha!
Ah-ah-ah, you look good, good.
This is it right here.
You're about to be president
in this, okay?
Okay!
[singer] Ain't finnin'
to brag when I get that dope ♪
I don't think this is the spot.
Big niggas don't need heavy
coats; they are heavy coats.
Trust me, last year
I met Bingo here.
Bingo?
No thin man named Bingo.
That's what I'm trying
to tell you, girl.
We ate pot pies every night!
Oh, I love when they got
a little grease in they beard.
Mm-hmm.
[man] You got anything bigger
than a 3XL?
Ooh!
Move, girl, move, move!
[woman] Okay ow!
Hey, zaddy.
Hey, thick.
Uh hi?
You wanna leave
this store with me?
We'll cuddle up
in a large blanket
and eat some chicken pot pie
on a hopefully plush couch
in your apartment?
Or sip double syrup hot cocoa
and stare
into each other's eyes.
Wow.
You really do have nice eyes.
Thanks. I was gonna say
your boobs are really great.
Top-shelf titties.
So, what's it gonna be?
Boobs or eyes?
Neither. I have a boyfriend.
[stamps] That's not fair.
Uhh! How do you expect us
to find big niggas
if y'all double-dip like this?
Ain't our fault
you waited this late.
It's like buying
a Christmas tree on the 24th!
Get your plus-ass fantasies
away from me!
Whatever!
Now what?
Ooh! We hit Shake Shack.
Big niggas love to eat,
and they always got a combo.
Then Best Buy.
Those security guys at the
front are always jumbo plus.
And we wave down
every UPS truck we see.
Yes, girl. Come on. Let's go.
Oh, my goodness.
If you do not stay still,
you're gonna look like
a crime scene.
I'm sorry. I'm ticklish.
So tell me more
about this prom tonight.
It's actually
another fundraiser.
The theme is '90's hip-hop.
Hmm. Fun
But somehow I cannot imagine
my mom giving her
fundraising spiel
to a '90's hip-hop crowd
without insulting
their fashion.
Oh, no, she is not at this one.
This one's hosted by
the Urban Education Coalition.
So, open bar, DJ, photo booth.
And rumor is,
AOC might even stop by.
Oh, AOC. That is awesome.
Maybe you two could be
like a dynamic duo.
AOC and I what are
your initials?
They're not good.
Oh, come on, AOC and
Isabella Benitez-Santiago.
Okay. So that's
- I-B-S.
- Oh!
No, no, no, no,
but this is good.
Cause you're like the shit
but the good kind.
No, no. There's no good way
to spin that.
And I can say that I made IBS
the shit-sation she is today.
Let's not get that trending.
You have to come tonight.
It'll be fun.
That way, I can give you
credit in person
for how fabulous I look.
- Okay. Deal.
- Awesome.
So put on your best prom look
and feel free
to bring a prom date.
Are you seeing someone?
Boyfriend, girlfriend?
Um, boyfriend.
I mean, well, a friend
with boy parts
that I've touched occasionally.
Oh. Well, Whatever he is,
he's welcome.
[mellow jazz]
♪
This is nice.
[man clears throat]
Yo, you gotta buy the couch,
or you and your girlfriend
gotta boo up someplace else.
- Oh, no, I'm not his girl
- I actually wanna
buy the couch
if my girlfriend approves.
What do you think, sweetie?
Maybe we should look around
a little bit more
before fully committing.
I only want the best
for my boo.
Aw, thanks, crumb cake.
Oh muah!
[kissing sounds]
[laughing]
He hates us.
I hate us.
Promise we will never talk
to each other like that.
Oh, I promise, lamb chop.
- Stop.
- [chuckling]
Yo, how can
a furnished apartment
not come with a couch,
you know?
Especially for what I'm paying.
Yeah, well, welcome to New York
where you get
a little for a lot.
- Yep.
- So, um
I'm going to
this thing tomorrow.
It's kind of like
a restaurant soft opening.
Well, it's not kind of,
I mean, it's exactly that.
- What about this one?
- Mm
It has cup holders.
And it's leather,
which means slippery.
Yeah, that's true.
You can never find
the right position on these.
Sorry. Anyway, you were saying
something about an opening.
Right, yeah.
So, the restaurant
it's, uh, Ian's restaurant.
- Mm-hmm.
- As in, um, my ex, Ian.
But it's gonna be like
a really small event.
- Small is intimate.
- Yeah.
This one looks
perfectly comfortable.
Um, yeah.
But really hard to clean.
One bag of hot Cheetos,
and it's destroyed.
And then you got to get
that special stuff
to get the orange
finger stains out,
Been there.
So, yeah, um
I was thinking I should
probably keep the air clear
between Ian and I,
so I should make an appearance.
Camille, I'm cool with you
going to your ex's thing.
It's all good.
I wasn't asking for permission.
It was just, um
I was wondering if maybe
you wanted to come with me.
Oh, well, in that case,
I would love to meet the man
and let you go and thank him.
[chuckles]
- So what do you think?
- It's ugly.
Okay. I'll buy the first one.
- Yeah.
- My man.
[Jameson] Wow.
[Camille] Wow, this is
[Jameson] Okay.
[Camille]a nice place!
- Can I take your coat?
- Oh.
I'll take yours too.
This looks
[Jameson] Wow!
- Completely different.
[Jameson] Very nice.
Look at this.
You came.
- Yeah, well, we came.
- Oh.
So who's your friend?
[Jameson] Uh
- Jameson Royce, I'm honored.
Mira. What brings you here?
- Well, we
- We we came together.
[Mira] Wow!
[Aunt Tammy] Camille's here,
and she brought someone.
Y'all so damn messy.
Oh, wow, Jameson.
I am a huge fan.
- You're a real-life superhero.
- Oh, stop.
I was just telling you
about him.
He's the guy from Twitter.
He started the scholarship
program in Oakland.
They've already sent
32 kids to university.
33, as of this afternoon.
- [awkward laugh]
- Someone did a deep dive.
I'm somewhat of
an activist myself.
- Really?
- Yes. I recently bought
a metal straw.
Actually, I wanted to know
So is it weird or good that
our dates are hitting it off?
Definitely both.
- Oh, so he is your date?
- Yes.
It's your first date?
- No.
- No?
Sustainable black-eyed
pea foam.
I'm sorry. Did you say foam?
We're also offering
a red fife heritage wheat,
which was dry-farmed,
meaning its only source
of water was rainfall.
You know this ain't nothing
but bougie-ass cornbread.
Ha ha. Basically.
[Aunt Tammy] Nephew,
I am not disappointed.
As bad as I thought it was
gonna be, it's so much worse.
See, I should taken a cue
from your parents
and not even bothered
to show up.
Yeah, well, they actually
got caught up down in Florida.
So they're coming here next
week for a private tasting.
Baby, whatever it takes
to help you sleep at night.
Now, thanks for dinner,
but I actually have
to go eat now, I'm starving.
Camille,
always good to see you,
and congrats on the upgrade.
Thank you, Aunt Tammy.
Nice to see you.
- Hmm.
- We gotta get him the foam.
[Ian] Hmm. [Camille] The foam!
He looks like the foam type.
[singer] This is how
we do it ♪
♪
This is how we do it ♪
La la la la la ♪
♪
Yes! Oh, prom.
- Prom, yeah, prom.
- We gotta do prom.
[photographer] Say, Cheese!
[both] Cheese.
Oh, my God.
This is so much fun.
[gasps]
Look at how cute we are.
You are definitely a lot
cuter than my actual prom date.
Who'd you take?
Shelly Flores.
She's the only person
who would go out with me.
- Uh-uh, I do not believe that.
- No, look, I was like 4' 6"
until like summer
after graduation.
Everybody called me inches.
Whoa!
And then like
on prom night like,
your parents are like,
"Be careful.
Don't have sex.
- Mm-Hmm.
- Well, I didn't listen,
and I had sex
for the first time,
and then nine months later
JJ.
Oh wow.
You are a cautionary tale.
Yeah.
So how are things
between you and Shelly now?
You know, started off kind
of rocky, but we're cool now.
Her husband's awesome,
that's my guy.
So, you know, modern family.
Hey! You made it.
Hi!
Oh, my gosh.
This is so much fun.
Guys, Todd, over here.
This is Quinn and
- Sean.
- Sean. Nice to meet you, Sean.
This is Todd,
my campaign manager.
I am forever grateful.
Look at her,
dressing like a real human.
- Oh, stop it.
- No, you have no idea.
When she showed up last week
bringing the same pattern
as the wallpaper
in an elderly woman's home,
I knew we needed
an intervention.
You must know how much
we love your mother.
- She's been so generous.
- Like a second mom.
We are seeing her tomorrow
for another fundraiser.
Mmm, fun.
So do you all work
on the campaign?
I do. But the group's kind
of all across the board.
Went to Cornell together.
And what about you?
What's your deal?
- Uh, my deal?
- Yeah, like what do you do?
I'm a dancer.
- For Alvin Ailey.
- Oh, nice!
- That's exciting.
- Mm-hmm, yeah it is,
if it ever comes up
with my mom.
So when's your next show?
- It's
- We will let know.
How did you two meet?
At an NYU alumni event.
And we have been inseparable
ever since.
Oh, sweet. Married? Kids?
- I have
- No, no, no, no, no.
It's just a little too early
for that, right, babe?
Sure.
Excuse me.
I'll take a drink, babe.
Good idea.
Oh, my gosh, men.
You mention one word of kids,
and they just take off running.
[laughter]
[Todd] But seriously,
she looks amazing.
Looks like we lost
our dates again, huh?
Uh they'll catch up.
Mm-mm. I know that tone.
Somebody needs carbs.
- [chuckles]
- Tshhh.
How you been?
You seem a little, uh,
- off.
- No.
No, it's just work.
And plus I have to keep
blowing off therapy, so
Oh my gosh,
is that shrimp and grits?
Why you skipping therapy?
Can we not?
Let's just focus on the food.
All right. I'm calling
this one, the Yvonne.
- After my middle name?
- No, coincidence.
Here. Taste it.
[ahem]
Mmm
Bon appetite.
Oh. That's so good.
Mm-Hmm.
[exhales]
Hopefully, we give it a chance.
And it doesn't help
that you start
a whole damn
movement against me.
Well, maybe the backlash
will die down
if you do a few things
to decolonize this place.
Yeah? Like what?
Well, for starters,
you could mix in some black art
from the locals,
some photographs
of the neighborhood.
Just some things to give it
some history,
- some authenticity.
- So basically you hate it.
Well, I like the floors.
All right.
How about you help me
make some changes.
Clearly,
I don't know much about art.
Uh, I don't know.
Come on, I can
throw you some money.
Oh, okay. You throwin',
then I'm gonna catch.
Yeah. Money talks.
There you are.
Ah, let me introduce you
to the money man.
Louis, let me introduce you
to Dr. Camille Parks.
- Nice to meet you.
- Beautiful.
Oh, oh, my. Oh, okay.
[Camille and Ian laughing]
Hey.
Just like Josephine.
Baker?
Louie, Dr. Parks has agreed
to come on board,
help us make this place
a little more welcoming
for the community.
What do you think?
Anything for Josephine.
[Camille] Oh
- All right.
- Watch that fire.
- All right.
Shawn, where are you going?
Work. I'm going early.
- What? Why are you why?
- Cut it out.
I know what it's like
to go out with someone
who's embarrassed by me.
No, I'm not. It's not
Just they
They know my mom.
I didn't expect you
to introduce me
as your stripper boyfriend.
But you made up
a whole new person.
I don't have a kid,
I dance for Alvin Ailey.
I don't even know who that is.
if that's the guy that you
want, you need to go get him.
Shawn, no,
I didn't mean it like that.
I was just
Shawn.
Shawn!
[muffled dance music]
♪
[applause]
So that big nigga hunt
was a huge fail.
- Oh, pun intended.
- Ha ha.
It's gonna be cold this winter.
All righty, next up,
we have Angie and Eric.
- Ooh!
- What? Oh.
Oh, shit.
Okay, come on, come on, girl.
Straight up. Let's go.
Y'all, come see
"Get Out," the musical.
We're in "Get Out,"
so make sure y'all come see it
[overlapping chatter]
[Angie] Thank you.
- And me, Bo.
Thank you.
[Angie] Yes!
All right, y'all, thank
y'all for coming out tonight.
It's been great.
Enjoy this song,
'cause it's gonna be
shut down after this.
- Okay.
- Hit it.
In advance, you are welcome.
All right, you start.
The cold wind is blowin' ♪
And the streets
are getting dark ♪
I'm writing you a letter ♪
And I don't know
where to start ♪
The bells will be ringing ♪
Saint John the Divine ♪
[Eric]
I get a little lonely ♪
Every year
around this time ♪
[Angie] The music plays
all night ♪
In Little Italy ♪
[Eric] The lights
will be going up ♪
On old Rockefella's tree ♪
[Angie] People window
shopping on Fifth Avenue ♪
Oh, you're still here.
So, no hot date tonight?
I have a ton of financials
to get through.
What do you want?
I just got your travel
itinerary from Afro Tech.
Put it over there.
[hisses] Ah!
Are you okay?
I'm fine
ish.
Get me an aspirin.
Thank you, thank you.
I've got to know ♪
[Eric]
Where do lonely hearts go ♪
Can we talk?
I'm working.
I know how little
you think of it, but still
All alone on Christmas ♪
♪
- What are you doing?
- I thought it was obvious.
I stopped making out
with gay men in college.
Mainly 'cause they asked me to.
Gay? No, I'm Bi.
What?
Look
I don't think
I'm better than you, see?
I'm stripping ♪
Whoo!
- I'm a pro!
- Okay, Quinn,
you can get down now.
What do you want?
- Honesty.
- You were the one
who lied about who I was.
I know. And it was shitty.
I also lied to you about
who I was.
The night we met,
I was trying to be somebody
who wasn't looking for love
and who was just looking
for sex, but that isn't me.
I'm also not someone
who's ever gonna
make anyone feel bad
about who they are
or what they do.
That's what my mom does to me,
and I did it to you.
It's gross, I'm sorry.
Truth is, you're the first
person I've met in a long time
that I can actually
breathe around.
I don't wanna lose that.
You been bisexual
this whole time?
Longer.
Ever since I couldn't decide
between Whitley or Dwayne Wayne
on "A Different World."
Wow. So you really
do like my titties.
Mm-Hmm.
So, now that you know,
you wanna
make a summer situation work
for the winter or what?
We could always buy blankets.
- Mmm, I know that's right.
- Mm-Hmm.
Whoa! Hey!
[both] We ain't done yet!
♪
I wanna know ♪
Where do lonely hearts go ♪
[Eric] Oh ♪
'Cause nobody oughta be ♪
[both]
All alone on Christmas ♪
♪
[Eric]
'Cause nobody oughta be ♪
[both]
All alone on Christmas ♪♪
Why?
Why is he giving her a rose?
He doesn't even like her.
Nobody likes her. Jeez.
That's terrible.
I, um
had something
I wanted to ask you.
Uh-oh.
And look, you can feel free
to reject me.
Double Uh-oh.
But when we were looking
at couches the other day,
I really did not mind
the sound of girlfriend.
I didn't mind it either.
Kinda liked it.
So
But you're leaving
in a few months.
Yeah, but come on.
Plans can change.
And they have planes.
Okay. Yes
boyfriend.
Yes, girlfriend.
[phone chimes]
[mellow R&B]
♪
Okay. Okay. Okay!
Angie is the first one here.
Now, tell me, how in the hell
did that happen?
Fuck if I know. But a quick PS.
It will be the last time.
Turns out
I am not a fan of waiting.
Girl, a solid half
of our brunches
have turned into dinners
because of yo late ass.
- [laughing]
- Aah
Fuck, my back.
It's my period.
Lucky enough to be a woman.
Just the price of admission.
Girl, you need to go
to a doctor.
Uh-uh. I'm stronger than that.
Fuck that.
I don't have insurance,
and I still get
my shit checked out.
Planned Parenthood
has a sliding scale,
and I slid right on down
to free.
Oh shit, she brought the boo.
Ladies, this is Jameson.
- In the flesh.
- Uh-huh.
I told him that I was gonna
meet you guys here
and he hadn't met you yet,
so where's Quinn?
Oh, she got stuck in the store.
She texted. She's on her way.
It was great to meet
two-thirds of the group.
[Tye] Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, player.
Don't get comfortable.
You can't just stick it in.
- Mm-mm.
- Okay, Tye,
please don't do this.
No one sits until they vetted.
And when Quinn comes,
she's gonna do this
all over again.
And she will include
an essay question,
so get ready for that.
Okay.
So, what is
the vetting process?
For starters, drop your pants.
She's kidding.
That was a dumb joke.
Real question. Go-to album.
I'm old-school,
So give me
Marvin Gaye's anything.
I fuck with that.
You have your own place, right?
- Of course.
- Your finances are in order.
One hundred percent.
You let her be the boss
in the bedroom?
Each and every time.
Ooh!
Just kidding. You can sit.
[Jameson] Oh
- Oh, my gosh.
- You all had me worried.
- Y'all are a damn mess.
So, I hear this group watches
"Weather Wives."
Are you a fan?
Uh, am I a fan? Listen,
I was in Tampa for work
and happened to be
right behind Fiona
at the restaurant
when she told Yolanda,
"Today's forecast is cloudy
with a chance of"
[all]
It's raining martinis, bitch!
[laughter]
I hate being late,
but I had fun tonight.
I mean, how much
do we love Jameson?
I mean, he definitely loosened
up by the time you got there.
[chuckling] I liked him.
Fuck! Fucking cramps.
Maybe we should
go see the doctor.
No, stop that.
Tye, come on, please.
Everything is fine. I'm fine.
- Ohh
- Tye!
Oh, my God. Tye.
Someone, please call 911!
Please!
[dramatic R&B]
♪
[Leslie Odom Jr: "Snow"]
[Odom Jr] Candles glow ♪
So happy that I can
see you again ♪
Wonderful time
with my family and friends ♪
Ain't nothin' better
than this ♪
Yeah ♪
For all we know ♪
This time may not
come around again ♪
And that's why I never
want it to end
[Camille] Winter is here,
and with its arrival
comes colder temps,
oversized sweaters,
seasonal lattes,
and most importantly,
cuffing season
the term we've coined
for that time of year
when humans all over the world
find themselves
desiring to be cuffed
or tied down to someone else.
New term,
but not a new phenomenon.
Throughout history,
physical coldness
has been proven
to activate a need
for psychological warmth
and security.
The mere look or smell
of your partner
will increase levels
of oxytocin
also called
the cuddle hormone.
And you're filled with
feelings of mild euphoria.
In fact,
evolutionarily speaking,
the cuffing months
are the most fertile season
with birth rates
at their highest
nine months later
in August and September.
So, if human beings
had a mating season,
well, this would be it. Okay.
I want everyone to listen
to the "Sex Hurts"
interview with anthropologist
Helen Fisher
and give me a three to five
page response by Thursday.
Stay warm.
[low background chatter]
Dr. Parks, Dr. Pruitt
wants to see us in her office.
- Us?
- Us.
See?
She messaged me on Facebook.
Dr. Pruitt has Facebook?
Yeah, we send each
other funny cat videos.
Oh, that's cool.
I like cats. Ha.
[Dr. Pruitt]
So thank you for coming.
Of course. Oh, and Nora
showed me your message.
And I'm also on Facebook
in case you wanted to,
you know,
be friends or something.
Yeah. So, Nora has
put together research
on various forms of pottery
found at
the Seneca Village site.
It's dense, so feel free to ask
if anything is confusing.
Well, you know,
it's not as dense
as my thesis on Seneca village,
so I I think I'll be okay.
All right.
I'd like the two of you
to put together a presentation.
Nora, I'd like you
to focus on connections
to the local
indigenous techniques.
And Camille, I thought
you could talk about
possible connections
to West African traditions.
'Cause I'm Native
and you're Black.
That's brilliant, Dr. Pruitt.
[light music]
Okay. Yes. Which puts you
on the same page, yes?
[Camille] Definitely.
What evil, straight white man
do we have to thank
for deciding
that women need to
steam their vaginas?
Gwyneth Paltrow.
Goop sells personal v-pods
for $1,800 a pop.
Oh, that sounds about white.
Mm.
[Quinn] I don't dunno.
Maybe V steaming was a little
too intimate an activity.
Given the fact that
the last time we hung out
wasn't exactly pleasant.
Quinn, I've been meaning
to apologize.
I'm sorry too.
[both] I love you.
[both giggling]
See? We have to sit
in the uncomfortable
to get back to the comfortable.
Plus, I needed to get
my vagina ready
for "Big Nigga Season."
Big nigga what?
Girl, it's like
you don't live on Earth.
Big Nigga Season
is when you find a guy
with a little extra
for the winter.
All my go-tos
are already taken.
With rehearsals and nannying,
my ass is behind
on locking down
some big nigga dick.
- Hey, D?
- What up, Ange?
Surprised I didn't hear
from you this year.
You know, I was
out here hustling
and lost track of the seasons,
but I'm ready for you now.
Babe, I'm cold.
Oh, is this your sister?
Cold sister?
Cousin? Taskrabbit?
Nice seeing you.
Stay warm out there, Ang.
Yep. Stay warm.
No, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
You got any big nigga brothers?
You know, I'm not gonna
survive the winter
without the extra body warmth!
I usually got a nice rotation
going on by now.
[whispering]
Thank you, thank you.
Sorry. Sorry.
Thought you said
it was just us.
I did as a ploy.
You be too stubborn
for your own good sometimes.
Let's cut the middle-school
bullshit.
It's been two weeks.
- Camille?
- Hmm.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I agreed
to design Myra's dress
without talking to you
about it first.
I was just so excited
about getting a big opportunity
that I just jumped at it.
It just sucks
that you hid it from me.
For a day? Sometimes you're not
the easiest to talk to
when you're upset.
That's fair. [sighs]
Just felt like
Mira snatched my dream life.
And I just I would hate it
if she snatched my friends too.
Absolutely not. Never.
And I love you.
- I love you too.
- Oh!
Now titty bump and make up.
Come on, now.
- Mmm.
- [giggling]
- I love you.
- I love you too.
Quinn, you still got
your panties on?
Girl, I don't know what other
coochy has been on this thing,
and y'all know
I can't be naked in public.
[laughter]
Stop, I'm serious!
[Angie] Oh, my God.
See, girl?
I can't stay mad at you.
And Ms. Forbes's interview
can't stay mad at Tye.
Girl, I was expecting her
to trash your ass.
But she wrote a glowing review.
I owe her a solid for hooking
me up with that article.
Is that solid your pussy?
Quinn!
[Tye] Oh, my God!
Have you been
practicing saying pussy?
I have. Thanks for noticing.
[Angie] Y'all, hold up.
What the fuck am I
doing here with y'all?
Everybody made up.
Now I gotta get to rehearsal.
[mellow hip-hop]
Okay, guys.
So we're starting from the top
of the "Sunken Place."
Positions, please.
And
[eerie piano melody]
Scrape clink ♪
Scrape clink,
you're sinking ♪
Scrape clink, scrape clink ♪
You're sinking ♪
Something is strange ♪
Something seems shady ♪
Who told your black ass
to trust a white lady? ♪
Scrape clink, scrape clink ♪
You're sinking ♪
A tiny cup of tea ♪
As the spoon
keeps twirling ♪
Hypnotizing you ♪
Till the room
starts swirling ♪
You sink into the couch ♪
You're sinking
to the floor ♪
You're trapped ♪
Which is a metaphor ♪
You're in the Sunken Place ♪
You're sinking,
you're sinking ♪
The Sunken Place,
you're sinking ♪
A single tearful
falls down your face ♪
Ooh, clink ♪
You're in the Sunken Place ♪
You're sinking,
keep sinking ♪
The Sunken Place,
you're sinking ♪
"Twelve Years a Slave"
meets outer space ♪
This is a Sunken Place ♪
Is this is a dream ♪
Or are you high ♪
Am just a small Black man
in a big black sky ♪
You try to scream
but you only choke ♪
You're asleep, but it's
time you got hashtag woke ♪
From the Sunken Place ♪
No one hears you shout ♪
The Sunken Place ♪
It tells you can't get out ♪
Another brother gone,
without a trace ♪
Without a trace ♪
Without a trace ♪
Into the Sunken Place ♪
You're sinking,
you're sinking ♪
Scrape, clink ♪
[loud clapping]
[director] Yes. Beautiful.
That's lunch.
[Eric] What do you mean
we're not going to lunch?
Why?
[Trent] I love your abs.
But, Eric, you're built
like a summer situation.
I need thick thighs
to keep me warm.
So you were always
gonna dump me?
[Trent] I'll text you in May.
- [Eric scoffs]
She better hope I have
the same number.
- And you brought the man?
- I had fun.
Oh, I'm sorry. That was brutal.
I should have seen it coming.
Yeah, a little.
But if it helps,
I slipped on
Big Nigga Season too.
Wasn't it just
"Hot Girl Summer"?
And then Breast Cancer
Awareness Month,
and I was wearing
all that pink.
Look, I gotta pick up
this kid I nanny
and take her home,
but then I'm in search
of a big nigga myself
if you wanted
to join the mission.
Well, we just broke up
one minute ago,
which is more than enough time
to move on
and my find my own bear
to hibernate with.
- Let's go then.
- Okay. Let's go find them.
[Eric] Lions and tigers
and bears, oh, my!
Come on. Ha.
[mellow R&B]
♪
Hey.
Hey, Anna.
- Thank you for coming.
- What's up?
Must be important for you
to want to meet me in public.
Okay. That's fair.
I just wanted to tell you
that I read the article.
Well, I'd hope so. And?
And I didn't expect it
to be so good.
I can't tell if
that's an insult or
- It's a compliment.
- Okay.
Well
I like a compliment.
So
So, we good, right?
I mean, I just don't like
the way we left things.
We? You told me
that you liked me
and then five seconds later,
you broke up with me
in the middle of the street.
And you called me a coward.
That's only because we were
acting like a coward.
Clearly, you can't
accept an apology.
Where was the apology?
Me calling you was the apology.
- [scoffs]
- But look,
I missed hanging out with you.
I still want us to be cool.
Are you kidding me? [laughs]
You know what? Fuck you.
I read this right
on that first night
when I left
without giving you my number.
So why don't we
go back to that?
Delete me and I'll delete you.
Cool?
- [door closes]
- Hi-hi.
Mom.
You remember Isabella?
Of course.
How could I forget my mentor?
- Hi, Quinn.
- She needs your help.
Impossible.
She's going to be president.
True, but I do need your help.
As much as I like to believe
we're past women in politics
having to worry
about their fashion choices,
the internet says otherwise.
Some troll said she looks like
Ross Dress for Less
shit on old Navy.
Oh, the internet is brutal.
So today is make-over day.
- Only if you have time.
- Oh, I assured her
that I am your only
paying customer,
so you will have time.
Actually, that's not true.
I am currently designing a
I know, I know, you're so busy.
I have to fight through
the crowd to get in here.
Listen, put together
some pieces,
make her look good,
but not trashy.
She's working-class,
so poor, but not sad.
You're in good hands, Isabella.
Okay. I'm off to the Botox doc.
I hate when my disappointment
is visible.
[Camille] Mom, please.
I could literally bounce
a quarter off your forehead.
If only you had
a quarter to bounce.
Ciao!
Ciao.
She is something.
Yeah, better word
than I would have chosen.
Let's try on clothes.
How does it look?
[singers] Hey, lady
- I like it!
- I feel that,
but you
going for president, girl.
- I like it!
- No.
I might be the kind of
- new kind of president.
- No!
- No?
- No.
It's not bad.
I mean, it's my design, so
- All right.
- Oh, a design for you!
Look at you oh!
Pink is the new black, honey.
Ooh, maybe not that pink.
What about this?
[singers] So fine
you can run around
Aah! Ha ha!
Ah-ah-ah, you look good, good.
This is it right here.
You're about to be president
in this, okay?
Okay!
[singer] Ain't finnin'
to brag when I get that dope ♪
I don't think this is the spot.
Big niggas don't need heavy
coats; they are heavy coats.
Trust me, last year
I met Bingo here.
Bingo?
No thin man named Bingo.
That's what I'm trying
to tell you, girl.
We ate pot pies every night!
Oh, I love when they got
a little grease in they beard.
Mm-hmm.
[man] You got anything bigger
than a 3XL?
Ooh!
Move, girl, move, move!
[woman] Okay ow!
Hey, zaddy.
Hey, thick.
Uh hi?
You wanna leave
this store with me?
We'll cuddle up
in a large blanket
and eat some chicken pot pie
on a hopefully plush couch
in your apartment?
Or sip double syrup hot cocoa
and stare
into each other's eyes.
Wow.
You really do have nice eyes.
Thanks. I was gonna say
your boobs are really great.
Top-shelf titties.
So, what's it gonna be?
Boobs or eyes?
Neither. I have a boyfriend.
[stamps] That's not fair.
Uhh! How do you expect us
to find big niggas
if y'all double-dip like this?
Ain't our fault
you waited this late.
It's like buying
a Christmas tree on the 24th!
Get your plus-ass fantasies
away from me!
Whatever!
Now what?
Ooh! We hit Shake Shack.
Big niggas love to eat,
and they always got a combo.
Then Best Buy.
Those security guys at the
front are always jumbo plus.
And we wave down
every UPS truck we see.
Yes, girl. Come on. Let's go.
Oh, my goodness.
If you do not stay still,
you're gonna look like
a crime scene.
I'm sorry. I'm ticklish.
So tell me more
about this prom tonight.
It's actually
another fundraiser.
The theme is '90's hip-hop.
Hmm. Fun
But somehow I cannot imagine
my mom giving her
fundraising spiel
to a '90's hip-hop crowd
without insulting
their fashion.
Oh, no, she is not at this one.
This one's hosted by
the Urban Education Coalition.
So, open bar, DJ, photo booth.
And rumor is,
AOC might even stop by.
Oh, AOC. That is awesome.
Maybe you two could be
like a dynamic duo.
AOC and I what are
your initials?
They're not good.
Oh, come on, AOC and
Isabella Benitez-Santiago.
Okay. So that's
- I-B-S.
- Oh!
No, no, no, no,
but this is good.
Cause you're like the shit
but the good kind.
No, no. There's no good way
to spin that.
And I can say that I made IBS
the shit-sation she is today.
Let's not get that trending.
You have to come tonight.
It'll be fun.
That way, I can give you
credit in person
for how fabulous I look.
- Okay. Deal.
- Awesome.
So put on your best prom look
and feel free
to bring a prom date.
Are you seeing someone?
Boyfriend, girlfriend?
Um, boyfriend.
I mean, well, a friend
with boy parts
that I've touched occasionally.
Oh. Well, Whatever he is,
he's welcome.
[mellow jazz]
♪
This is nice.
[man clears throat]
Yo, you gotta buy the couch,
or you and your girlfriend
gotta boo up someplace else.
- Oh, no, I'm not his girl
- I actually wanna
buy the couch
if my girlfriend approves.
What do you think, sweetie?
Maybe we should look around
a little bit more
before fully committing.
I only want the best
for my boo.
Aw, thanks, crumb cake.
Oh muah!
[kissing sounds]
[laughing]
He hates us.
I hate us.
Promise we will never talk
to each other like that.
Oh, I promise, lamb chop.
- Stop.
- [chuckling]
Yo, how can
a furnished apartment
not come with a couch,
you know?
Especially for what I'm paying.
Yeah, well, welcome to New York
where you get
a little for a lot.
- Yep.
- So, um
I'm going to
this thing tomorrow.
It's kind of like
a restaurant soft opening.
Well, it's not kind of,
I mean, it's exactly that.
- What about this one?
- Mm
It has cup holders.
And it's leather,
which means slippery.
Yeah, that's true.
You can never find
the right position on these.
Sorry. Anyway, you were saying
something about an opening.
Right, yeah.
So, the restaurant
it's, uh, Ian's restaurant.
- Mm-hmm.
- As in, um, my ex, Ian.
But it's gonna be like
a really small event.
- Small is intimate.
- Yeah.
This one looks
perfectly comfortable.
Um, yeah.
But really hard to clean.
One bag of hot Cheetos,
and it's destroyed.
And then you got to get
that special stuff
to get the orange
finger stains out,
Been there.
So, yeah, um
I was thinking I should
probably keep the air clear
between Ian and I,
so I should make an appearance.
Camille, I'm cool with you
going to your ex's thing.
It's all good.
I wasn't asking for permission.
It was just, um
I was wondering if maybe
you wanted to come with me.
Oh, well, in that case,
I would love to meet the man
and let you go and thank him.
[chuckles]
- So what do you think?
- It's ugly.
Okay. I'll buy the first one.
- Yeah.
- My man.
[Jameson] Wow.
[Camille] Wow, this is
[Jameson] Okay.
[Camille]a nice place!
- Can I take your coat?
- Oh.
I'll take yours too.
This looks
[Jameson] Wow!
- Completely different.
[Jameson] Very nice.
Look at this.
You came.
- Yeah, well, we came.
- Oh.
So who's your friend?
[Jameson] Uh
- Jameson Royce, I'm honored.
Mira. What brings you here?
- Well, we
- We we came together.
[Mira] Wow!
[Aunt Tammy] Camille's here,
and she brought someone.
Y'all so damn messy.
Oh, wow, Jameson.
I am a huge fan.
- You're a real-life superhero.
- Oh, stop.
I was just telling you
about him.
He's the guy from Twitter.
He started the scholarship
program in Oakland.
They've already sent
32 kids to university.
33, as of this afternoon.
- [awkward laugh]
- Someone did a deep dive.
I'm somewhat of
an activist myself.
- Really?
- Yes. I recently bought
a metal straw.
Actually, I wanted to know
So is it weird or good that
our dates are hitting it off?
Definitely both.
- Oh, so he is your date?
- Yes.
It's your first date?
- No.
- No?
Sustainable black-eyed
pea foam.
I'm sorry. Did you say foam?
We're also offering
a red fife heritage wheat,
which was dry-farmed,
meaning its only source
of water was rainfall.
You know this ain't nothing
but bougie-ass cornbread.
Ha ha. Basically.
[Aunt Tammy] Nephew,
I am not disappointed.
As bad as I thought it was
gonna be, it's so much worse.
See, I should taken a cue
from your parents
and not even bothered
to show up.
Yeah, well, they actually
got caught up down in Florida.
So they're coming here next
week for a private tasting.
Baby, whatever it takes
to help you sleep at night.
Now, thanks for dinner,
but I actually have
to go eat now, I'm starving.
Camille,
always good to see you,
and congrats on the upgrade.
Thank you, Aunt Tammy.
Nice to see you.
- Hmm.
- We gotta get him the foam.
[Ian] Hmm. [Camille] The foam!
He looks like the foam type.
[singer] This is how
we do it ♪
♪
This is how we do it ♪
La la la la la ♪
♪
Yes! Oh, prom.
- Prom, yeah, prom.
- We gotta do prom.
[photographer] Say, Cheese!
[both] Cheese.
Oh, my God.
This is so much fun.
[gasps]
Look at how cute we are.
You are definitely a lot
cuter than my actual prom date.
Who'd you take?
Shelly Flores.
She's the only person
who would go out with me.
- Uh-uh, I do not believe that.
- No, look, I was like 4' 6"
until like summer
after graduation.
Everybody called me inches.
Whoa!
And then like
on prom night like,
your parents are like,
"Be careful.
Don't have sex.
- Mm-Hmm.
- Well, I didn't listen,
and I had sex
for the first time,
and then nine months later
JJ.
Oh wow.
You are a cautionary tale.
Yeah.
So how are things
between you and Shelly now?
You know, started off kind
of rocky, but we're cool now.
Her husband's awesome,
that's my guy.
So, you know, modern family.
Hey! You made it.
Hi!
Oh, my gosh.
This is so much fun.
Guys, Todd, over here.
This is Quinn and
- Sean.
- Sean. Nice to meet you, Sean.
This is Todd,
my campaign manager.
I am forever grateful.
Look at her,
dressing like a real human.
- Oh, stop it.
- No, you have no idea.
When she showed up last week
bringing the same pattern
as the wallpaper
in an elderly woman's home,
I knew we needed
an intervention.
You must know how much
we love your mother.
- She's been so generous.
- Like a second mom.
We are seeing her tomorrow
for another fundraiser.
Mmm, fun.
So do you all work
on the campaign?
I do. But the group's kind
of all across the board.
Went to Cornell together.
And what about you?
What's your deal?
- Uh, my deal?
- Yeah, like what do you do?
I'm a dancer.
- For Alvin Ailey.
- Oh, nice!
- That's exciting.
- Mm-hmm, yeah it is,
if it ever comes up
with my mom.
So when's your next show?
- It's
- We will let know.
How did you two meet?
At an NYU alumni event.
And we have been inseparable
ever since.
Oh, sweet. Married? Kids?
- I have
- No, no, no, no, no.
It's just a little too early
for that, right, babe?
Sure.
Excuse me.
I'll take a drink, babe.
Good idea.
Oh, my gosh, men.
You mention one word of kids,
and they just take off running.
[laughter]
[Todd] But seriously,
she looks amazing.
Looks like we lost
our dates again, huh?
Uh they'll catch up.
Mm-mm. I know that tone.
Somebody needs carbs.
- [chuckles]
- Tshhh.
How you been?
You seem a little, uh,
- off.
- No.
No, it's just work.
And plus I have to keep
blowing off therapy, so
Oh my gosh,
is that shrimp and grits?
Why you skipping therapy?
Can we not?
Let's just focus on the food.
All right. I'm calling
this one, the Yvonne.
- After my middle name?
- No, coincidence.
Here. Taste it.
[ahem]
Mmm
Bon appetite.
Oh. That's so good.
Mm-Hmm.
[exhales]
Hopefully, we give it a chance.
And it doesn't help
that you start
a whole damn
movement against me.
Well, maybe the backlash
will die down
if you do a few things
to decolonize this place.
Yeah? Like what?
Well, for starters,
you could mix in some black art
from the locals,
some photographs
of the neighborhood.
Just some things to give it
some history,
- some authenticity.
- So basically you hate it.
Well, I like the floors.
All right.
How about you help me
make some changes.
Clearly,
I don't know much about art.
Uh, I don't know.
Come on, I can
throw you some money.
Oh, okay. You throwin',
then I'm gonna catch.
Yeah. Money talks.
There you are.
Ah, let me introduce you
to the money man.
Louis, let me introduce you
to Dr. Camille Parks.
- Nice to meet you.
- Beautiful.
Oh, oh, my. Oh, okay.
[Camille and Ian laughing]
Hey.
Just like Josephine.
Baker?
Louie, Dr. Parks has agreed
to come on board,
help us make this place
a little more welcoming
for the community.
What do you think?
Anything for Josephine.
[Camille] Oh
- All right.
- Watch that fire.
- All right.
Shawn, where are you going?
Work. I'm going early.
- What? Why are you why?
- Cut it out.
I know what it's like
to go out with someone
who's embarrassed by me.
No, I'm not. It's not
Just they
They know my mom.
I didn't expect you
to introduce me
as your stripper boyfriend.
But you made up
a whole new person.
I don't have a kid,
I dance for Alvin Ailey.
I don't even know who that is.
if that's the guy that you
want, you need to go get him.
Shawn, no,
I didn't mean it like that.
I was just
Shawn.
Shawn!
[muffled dance music]
♪
[applause]
So that big nigga hunt
was a huge fail.
- Oh, pun intended.
- Ha ha.
It's gonna be cold this winter.
All righty, next up,
we have Angie and Eric.
- Ooh!
- What? Oh.
Oh, shit.
Okay, come on, come on, girl.
Straight up. Let's go.
Y'all, come see
"Get Out," the musical.
We're in "Get Out,"
so make sure y'all come see it
[overlapping chatter]
[Angie] Thank you.
- And me, Bo.
Thank you.
[Angie] Yes!
All right, y'all, thank
y'all for coming out tonight.
It's been great.
Enjoy this song,
'cause it's gonna be
shut down after this.
- Okay.
- Hit it.
In advance, you are welcome.
All right, you start.
The cold wind is blowin' ♪
And the streets
are getting dark ♪
I'm writing you a letter ♪
And I don't know
where to start ♪
The bells will be ringing ♪
Saint John the Divine ♪
[Eric]
I get a little lonely ♪
Every year
around this time ♪
[Angie] The music plays
all night ♪
In Little Italy ♪
[Eric] The lights
will be going up ♪
On old Rockefella's tree ♪
[Angie] People window
shopping on Fifth Avenue ♪
Oh, you're still here.
So, no hot date tonight?
I have a ton of financials
to get through.
What do you want?
I just got your travel
itinerary from Afro Tech.
Put it over there.
[hisses] Ah!
Are you okay?
I'm fine
ish.
Get me an aspirin.
Thank you, thank you.
I've got to know ♪
[Eric]
Where do lonely hearts go ♪
Can we talk?
I'm working.
I know how little
you think of it, but still
All alone on Christmas ♪
♪
- What are you doing?
- I thought it was obvious.
I stopped making out
with gay men in college.
Mainly 'cause they asked me to.
Gay? No, I'm Bi.
What?
Look
I don't think
I'm better than you, see?
I'm stripping ♪
Whoo!
- I'm a pro!
- Okay, Quinn,
you can get down now.
What do you want?
- Honesty.
- You were the one
who lied about who I was.
I know. And it was shitty.
I also lied to you about
who I was.
The night we met,
I was trying to be somebody
who wasn't looking for love
and who was just looking
for sex, but that isn't me.
I'm also not someone
who's ever gonna
make anyone feel bad
about who they are
or what they do.
That's what my mom does to me,
and I did it to you.
It's gross, I'm sorry.
Truth is, you're the first
person I've met in a long time
that I can actually
breathe around.
I don't wanna lose that.
You been bisexual
this whole time?
Longer.
Ever since I couldn't decide
between Whitley or Dwayne Wayne
on "A Different World."
Wow. So you really
do like my titties.
Mm-Hmm.
So, now that you know,
you wanna
make a summer situation work
for the winter or what?
We could always buy blankets.
- Mmm, I know that's right.
- Mm-Hmm.
Whoa! Hey!
[both] We ain't done yet!
♪
I wanna know ♪
Where do lonely hearts go ♪
[Eric] Oh ♪
'Cause nobody oughta be ♪
[both]
All alone on Christmas ♪
♪
[Eric]
'Cause nobody oughta be ♪
[both]
All alone on Christmas ♪♪
Why?
Why is he giving her a rose?
He doesn't even like her.
Nobody likes her. Jeez.
That's terrible.
I, um
had something
I wanted to ask you.
Uh-oh.
And look, you can feel free
to reject me.
Double Uh-oh.
But when we were looking
at couches the other day,
I really did not mind
the sound of girlfriend.
I didn't mind it either.
Kinda liked it.
So
But you're leaving
in a few months.
Yeah, but come on.
Plans can change.
And they have planes.
Okay. Yes
boyfriend.
Yes, girlfriend.
[phone chimes]
[mellow R&B]
♪
Okay. Okay. Okay!
Angie is the first one here.
Now, tell me, how in the hell
did that happen?
Fuck if I know. But a quick PS.
It will be the last time.
Turns out
I am not a fan of waiting.
Girl, a solid half
of our brunches
have turned into dinners
because of yo late ass.
- [laughing]
- Aah
Fuck, my back.
It's my period.
Lucky enough to be a woman.
Just the price of admission.
Girl, you need to go
to a doctor.
Uh-uh. I'm stronger than that.
Fuck that.
I don't have insurance,
and I still get
my shit checked out.
Planned Parenthood
has a sliding scale,
and I slid right on down
to free.
Oh shit, she brought the boo.
Ladies, this is Jameson.
- In the flesh.
- Uh-huh.
I told him that I was gonna
meet you guys here
and he hadn't met you yet,
so where's Quinn?
Oh, she got stuck in the store.
She texted. She's on her way.
It was great to meet
two-thirds of the group.
[Tye] Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, player.
Don't get comfortable.
You can't just stick it in.
- Mm-mm.
- Okay, Tye,
please don't do this.
No one sits until they vetted.
And when Quinn comes,
she's gonna do this
all over again.
And she will include
an essay question,
so get ready for that.
Okay.
So, what is
the vetting process?
For starters, drop your pants.
She's kidding.
That was a dumb joke.
Real question. Go-to album.
I'm old-school,
So give me
Marvin Gaye's anything.
I fuck with that.
You have your own place, right?
- Of course.
- Your finances are in order.
One hundred percent.
You let her be the boss
in the bedroom?
Each and every time.
Ooh!
Just kidding. You can sit.
[Jameson] Oh
- Oh, my gosh.
- You all had me worried.
- Y'all are a damn mess.
So, I hear this group watches
"Weather Wives."
Are you a fan?
Uh, am I a fan? Listen,
I was in Tampa for work
and happened to be
right behind Fiona
at the restaurant
when she told Yolanda,
"Today's forecast is cloudy
with a chance of"
[all]
It's raining martinis, bitch!
[laughter]
I hate being late,
but I had fun tonight.
I mean, how much
do we love Jameson?
I mean, he definitely loosened
up by the time you got there.
[chuckling] I liked him.
Fuck! Fucking cramps.
Maybe we should
go see the doctor.
No, stop that.
Tye, come on, please.
Everything is fine. I'm fine.
- Ohh
- Tye!
Oh, my God. Tye.
Someone, please call 911!
Please!
[dramatic R&B]
♪