Heartbreak High (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

1
Will somebody wear me to the fair? ♪
To the morning, sing a lovely flower ♪
Will a lady pin me in her hair? ♪
Mmm mmm mmm ♪
Will a child find me by a stream? ♪
In the lovely, in the sunny shower ♪
Kiss my petals
And weave me through a dream ♪
For all of these simple things ♪
And much more, a flower was born ♪
It blooms to spread love and joy ♪
Faith and hope to people forlorn ♪
May mosaydee kaylie lowya roses ♪
May mosaydee kaylie lowya roses ♪
Say money ain't na na no oh na ♪
Mmm mmhmm mmm mmm ♪
Looking for vayda tay breeze ♪
Looking for vayda tay breeze ♪
May mosaydee kaylie lowya roses ♪
Mmm mmhmm mmm mmm ♪
For all of these simple things
And much more, a flower was born ♪
It blooms to spread love and joy
Faith and hope to people forlorn ♪
What are you going to do
if you miss the bus?
I am not going to miss the bus.
I'll be at that book store,
come hell or hobgoblins
because this is the most important,
the most life-defining moment
of my entire life.
Sounds good, cupcake.
Thanks, Dad.
Dad, listen, I'm gonna be okay.
I know.
- May mosaydee kaylie lowya roses ♪
- May mosaydee kaylie lowya roses ♪
- Bye, Dads!
- Bye.
Mmm mmhmm mmm mmm ♪
So how much would it cost just to
have my bladder removed at this point?
Harper, it's not a UTI.
What else would it be?
Chlamydia.
I'll do a swab to confirm.
But in the meantime,
we'll get you started on a course
of antibiotics.
We'll also need to start the process
of contacting
any sexual partners you might have had
over the past six months.
Oh.
Fucking mint.
All of our students
on the Respectful Relationships Program
made an oath to the school
that there would be no second chances
when it came to disreputable behaviour.
And after Harper's very public outburst
at the City of Sydney
Interschool Basketball Semifinals,
I am considering suspending her.
I can't be suspended.
You should have thought about that
before you made a mockery of our school.
Listen, Harper's been
going through a lot lately and
Dad.
You don't know the half of what
Dad!
I'll do detention
every day for the rest of the year
or I'll pick up more rubbish.
Whatever you want.
You just can't suspend me, please.
Year 11 is a difficult time
for most students, isn't it, Ms. Obah?
So, in this instance,
I will reduce the punishment to detention.
Uh Um, detention's
a little bit full at the moment.
Right.
So library duty then, every day
after school for the rest of term.
Final warning, Harper. Are we clear?
Thanks, miss.
Thank you for making time, Mr. McLean.
- My pleasure. Thank you.
- See you soon.
I mean Not too soon.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
Okay, so we've got a trashed classroom,
four boys in detention,
public shaming involving a threesome,
all SLT kids.
Gosh. I thought maybe I'd see,
I don't know,
an improvement in their behaviour.
It hasn't even been
two months since the map.
- They're getting better.
- Okay.
Well, I asked you to lead the class
and you promised me
that you were up to it.
I am.
So maybe you need to
reconsider your current approach, Jojo.
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
Haven't you said enough?
- It's not about
- Move.
Hey, guys, I know you don't want
No. I'm not gonna let you
suck me into your negativity black hole.
You're an emotional vampire, Harper.
I watched a whole YouTube video on it.
Let's eat yuh yuh
Let's eat yuh yuh ♪
Let's see if you can keep up
With the beat yuh yuh ♪
Take a seat yuh yuh
Time to feast yuh yuh ♪
Then let's see what you can fuckin' do
For me yuh yuh ♪
Whoa.
Half the school thinks
she's an untouchable icon.
The other half thinks
she's a batshit banshee.
And I am not wasting
another brain cell thinking about her.
I spent all weekend manifesting
a beautiful new reality
and I have zero shits left
to give about anything.
Okay, Amerie, wake up.
Your heart is shattered
into a million, tiny, pathetic pieces.
R S V P
Are you gonna be there with me? ♪
- With me ♪
- With me ♪
- With me ♪
- With me ♪
Are you gonna be there with me? ♪
- With me ♪
- With me ♪
- With me ♪
- With me ♪
Are you gonna be there with me? ♪
Let's go. Forget about Threesome Boy.
I'm the hottest thing
this side of the bridge
and he's treating me like a foot fungus.
Ca$h is officially expired.
Maybe he doesn't like
boning as much as you do.
Have you seen who he hangs out with?
If those eshays aren't dealing drugs,
they're wheeling with their dicks.
Not everyone functions
the way that you do.
And you haven't even had a conversation
about what you're both looking for.
Sasha and I did it
when we first started dating.
Aw. Or I could just get shit-faced
and forget he ever existed.
Amerie, your mum's
working the night shift?
Yeah.
Listen up, cum stains!
Lonely hearts gatho at Amerie's tonight.
BYO alcohol, you cheap, cheap hoes.
And no Year 7s.
No, that was a totally fabricated lie.
Oh, shit. I hope not.
Nothing's happening.
Are you serious?
This is the first time in months
anyone wants to hang out with you.
Okay, this could be the biggest comeback
since crop tops.
You only get one shot at this.
Actually, yes, something
is happening tonight at my place.
Okay.
Oi! And the theme is,
"Back from the Dead,"
to celebrate Amerie's social resurrection.
My idea. Please tell everyone you know.
Okay.
You're actually going to come?
Well, yeah, I think it's genuinely cool
to see how far you've evolved
since shit went sideways.
So, yes, we will both be there.
Um, I've actually got
this book signing tonight thing.
Oh.
It's the release of
Angeline of the Underworld.
Only the most important event
in Quinni's life thus far.
- Shit! I completely forgot.
- It's okay.
Well, we can go to that
and we can still make Amerie's after?
Um
- Hey, we can figure out details later.
- Okay.
Oh, my God. This is school property.
You filthy, filthy horn bags.
Why're we in the gym?
We have sex ed in the gym.
Oi.
You all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
No, I'm just
I stayed up watching Antique Roadshow.
All righty. Thank you all
for showing up today.
Hang on, we're missing Dusty?
Yeah, he's not coming.
Well, I saw him this morning.
He should be here.
So, uh, we're going to be playing a game
called Stuck in the Mud.
You might be familiar with it.
If you get tagged, you're stuck
and you can't move again unless someone
crawls between your legs
and sets you free.
Okay, why?
Because why not? It could be fun.
Amerie, you're "it."
If Amerie manages to get you all stuck
in five minutes,
I think I'll give her,
I don't know, 20 bucks?
Okay, laps. Let's go.
Miss, uh, we're not dressed to sweat.
Well, I don't care
what you're dressed for.
You're all going to start running now,
or you'll be running after school.
Your choice.
Let's go.
You love watching me run,
don't you?
Okay. New rule,
anyone wearing a checkered shirt
is now automatically stuck
for the rest of the game.
What the hell, you can't just
change the rules.
Actually, yeah, I can.
Now anyone wearing blue is also stuck.
And anyone wearing a watch.
- Spider!
- That means you, Spencer.
That's not fair.
Well, fairness is irrelevant.
You're stuck in the mud
or you're on double detention.
Fuck.
All right.
Good hustle, Amerie.
Twenty dollars, as promised.
Thank you.
You can't make us play a game
and then change the rules
every ten seconds.
Right. So you all agreed
to play the same game,
but someone, me,
decides to change the rules.
- Does that feel fair?
- No.
But you still kept playing.
Yeah, because you told us
that we'd all get detention
and you promised Amerie 20 bucks.
It was rigged.
So this brings us to the point
of today's exercise.
I want you to start thinking
about this unfair power balance.
About other times something like this
might happen in life.
A boyfriend who decides
what their partner is allowed to
Yeah, here comes the man bashing.
You want to know what is unfair?
The fact that this entire school
is out to get anyone with a pair of nuts.
Okay, that is completely untrue.
So I get detention
for looking the wrong way,
but Harper gets a pat on the back
for publicly shitting on Dusty.
You wonder why he doesn't rock up.
Hey, look around, Spencer.
No one's feeling sorry for you or Dusty
because you aren't the victims here
and I really don't think
you're convincing anyone that you are.
Anyway
Fucking feminazis, man.
Sorry, what did you just say?
I said this is bullshit!
Get out of my class!
Um Okay, we'll pick this up next week.
Hey, Harper.
- I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for that to
- Don't worry about it.
Hey. Spider's a massive wanker.
I probably shouldn't say that, but
I don't think Harper's doing so well.
Mmm. If you're a bitch,
people will let you know.
I'm not interested in rehashing
whatever happened between you,
but I would have thought
that you, of all people,
know when something
is seriously up with someone.
Come on.
Who was texting you?
Don't want to talk about it.
- Just leave it.
- Okay. Woah!
This is like some VIP shit!
- Let's drop.
- Maybe later.
It's the perfect time.
I think I'm just gonna chill
on the ug-drays tonight.
So I just do them by myself?
- Come on. You're the one that bought them.
- Yeah and I changed my mind.
That was like a hundred bucks
you just threw away.
Fuck it. I'm getting another drink.
Harper!
You guys going to get costumes
and stuff for tonight?
What's tonight?
Amerie's thing.
Darren said it's a dress-up party
or something.
Nah, bro. Costumes are lame.
Yeah, definitely.
I don't know. I reckon I look pretty sick
as the grim reaper though.
You going?
Not if she's going to be there.
Man, I hope she is.
Pay good money to see
what psycho tits over there does next.
That's a fucked up thing to say.
Relax, man, it was just a joke.
I don't reckon it was that funny.
I actually reckon
you're a bit full of shit.
Letting this dickhead
run his mouth for you as usual.
Well, fuck you, too then.
Oh
Oh, no. Little Malakai.
What are you doing?
I'm sick of Dusty's shit.
I'm sick of all that shit.
Yeah, me too.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm good.
I'm coming over at 5:00
so we can get warmed up.
But it's just going to be
a chill thing, right?
- Say yes. Yes.
- Yes. Chiller than a penguin's bunghole.
Ooh.
So I heard you were
having a thing tonight.
- Yeah. I guess I'm having a thing.
- Yeah.
I don't know if it's too soon,
but would it be cool
if I drop by for a bit?
Depends. What's your MO?
No MO.
Just a brother who wants
to hang out with his homie
and has access to OG Twister.
- Great. Wait, really?
- Hmm.
They don't call me
the Flexitron for nothing.
No one calls you that, Malakai.
Like, ever.
It could catch on if we start now.
My house at 7:00.
Bring your own whatever you drink.
- And bring Twister.
- Yeah.
Ca$h.
I'm just here
delivering some orders, Darren.
Right.
Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.
I thought you've been avoiding me.
Nan's been in the hospital
the last few days.
Shit. I'm sorry.
Yeah, she, um
she took her back out dancing with Bazza
from a few houses up the road.
And for some reason they were both naked.
Sorry. Sorry, I shouldn't laugh.
No, it is kind of funny.
Yeah. Um, I'll see you around.
Amerie. Whoa.
That's enough fiber for two colonoscopies.
If a colonoscopy means
having a totally positive outlook
while looking cute as shit,
then count me in, Mum.
And thanks for letting me
have friends over.
No, that's not
- Mwah.
- That is not what a colonoscopy is.
Hey.
Hey.
- How did you get in?
- Frank let me in.
Um
Sorry. Nap breath.
Oh. I literally do not give a shit.
So I'm thinking of starting
a petition to get Spider suspended.
I know Harper was heaps unethical,
but that doesn't give him the right
to be sexist about it.
Definitely.
We started
this other petition this morning
to ban oil exploration off the east coast,
- and it's already at 250 signatures!
- Cool!
Right? That's amazing. I feel like
I'm actually changing the world.
I have to start getting ready.
Um, you can stay or go. Or
Doesn't your book thing start at 7:00?
Yes. Um, I just wanted to get there early.
Oh.
Why didn't you tell me?
I would have gotten Missy to drive us.
It's fine. I've memorized this for ages
along with three bus schedules.
I've been planning this for a long time,
so I don't really want to
change it up last minute.
Right. Yeah, we'll just get the bus then.
Okay. Cool.
So Angeline doesn't actually have parents,
but there's this fan theory that Hadeus,
the genderqueer Demon Emperor,
is one of her illegitimate parents,
even though he's out to kill her
Whoa. That sounds stressful.
Yes, but it is also the greatest thing
ever written.
You know, you're really cute
when you get arced up.
Uh, so I was thinking
that if your thing finishes at 9:00,
we could still hit up Amerie's
at like 10:00, 10:30?
You can go.
Oh, well, I was kind of hoping that
we could go together
like a regular couple.
Listen, Sash, I just think
I'm going to need an early night.
I know I'm going to get
really worked up about this.
- I've been waiting for so long
- Are you overthinking this?
Maybe.
Just see how you feel later, okay?
Oh, wait, can we stop real quick?
There's that gelato place
I told you about.
- What?
- Please, I'm craving a sweet treat.
They have a lychee pandan flavor
I've heard is really good.
Quinni, I swear on my lesbian life,
I will get you to that launch on time.
Come on.
Um
I thought I'd come by and
Now's not great.
Got my hands full with Nan.
Look, maybe we have completely
different sex drives or whatever.
We could work through that
and I should have
Oh, my days, I can't do this right now.
It's never going to be
a good time for you, is it?
Yeah. And you only ever
think about yourself, don't you?
Ca$hy boy! Hoo, hoo, hoo!
Yo. Winner, winner chicken dinner.
- Where's Nan?
- Got extra chippies for Nan.
What's he doing here?
Just a customer.
Come on.
What do you want?
Sorry?
What flavor?
Um
I don't really feel like ice cream.
Not even something to drink then?
Uh, sorry, could I please get
one scoop of the lychee
Sasha?
Jules? What the hell?
I didn't think anyone came here anymore.
No, it's 'cause
Did you hear what happened
to Terry Rhymes?
About time
she got knocked off her pedestal.
I died when she said
it was one of her maids.
Stop.
Say you hate poor people and move on.
I know. And she hates poor people.
Constantly. She really heaps
the syllables in.
In. I know. It's ridiculous. And like
She's actually evil.
Don't you think
that's messed up, Quinni?
Sorry?
Oh. Mmm-hmm.
Um
Is she okay?
Yeah. She just gets
stressed out sometimes.
She's kind of, like, on the spectrum.
Yeah. Anyway
- That's like shit obvious.
- I know. She's a bitch.
Did she even do well?
- No.
- Oh.
- That's just really disappointing then.
- I know.
Hey, so
Um, I know you really don't want
to talk to me right now, but
Just wanted to let you know
that I have chlamydia.
So you probably do as well.
Awkward.
Yeah, I've been meaning to tell you.
I have chlamydia.
So now you do as well. Yay. Congrats.
Hey. So
Been super busy with schoolwork
and finding out I have chlamydia.
Have you heard about chlamydia?
Well, you have it.
Oh, me? No. Yeah. I'm doing great.
Oh, my God. I just found out.
I cannot believe it.
So I thought I had this UTI
and then it wasn't a UTI.
Turns out it's chlamydia.
So we both have chlamydia!
Dude. I got chlamydia, babe. So do you.
There's medication for that shit.
Sit down.
Turns out I have chlamydia.
Which means you probably do too.
See, it wasn't that hard. Was it?
Whoa.
People are actually into this.
Cute.
Oh, my God!
- Quinni. Quinni!
- Ben! Oh, my God. Hi!
Look at you! I love your little horns.
Thanks! Oh, my God. I'm so excited.
I don't know if I should scream or cry.
I know. We made it! Is this
- Sasha!
- I'm Ben.
- Hi.
- Ben and I were forever bonded in Grade 4.
We spent every lunch
reading Angeline in the library.
Those books were straight up
crack to our ten-year-old brains.
How'd you feel
when Angeline sacrificed herself
at the end of the last book? I lost it.
- She's a newbie.
- Ah.
I'm just not a big fantasy novel person.
Right.
But they have massive
commercial appeal, so that's cool.
Yeah. Oh, I'll see you inside, okay?
Okay. Sounds good. Yeah.
- Feliz navidad!
- Yes, feliz navidad.
I am completely, utterly, spiritually,
and hormonally done with Ca$h.
He's an asshole.
Shush now. No more drama. Drink up.
Welcome back, bitch.
Hey.
I didn't realize this was gonna go off.
Oh, yeah. All these people
just kind of started showing up.
You didn't bring any
No. Not drinking tonight.
Oh, okay. Um, make yourself
at home or whatever.
Okay, the whole reason for this
is so we can rid your mind of Malakai.
Not so you can pine after him.
No. Maybe it'll be fine.
We can all be friends
and nothing will hurt anymore.
Okay, look at me.
Promise that you will not engage,
you will not flirt,
you will not look in his direction
for longer than two seconds.
What? Why not?
Otherwise, you will never
get over him, Amerie.
Well, well, well. Didn't take you
for the house-trashing type, Ms. Wadia.
I am now.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
Hey! What
What's going on, bro?
I don't know, bro. You tell me.
Did you bring your new mate?
- I don't want to start anything.
- Yeah.
Darren! Darren. Where are you?
You have to make me another drink.
You messed that one up, eh?
But what would I know, right?
I'm full of shit, huh?
Enjoy your night, bro.
Hey, mate. Want a beer?
We're so lucky to have the author of
Angeline of the Underworld here tonight.
So please give your warmest welcome
to Rhea Brown.
Look at all these beautiful demons
here tonight.
All right. Let's go.
Angeline of the Underworld: Vengeance Is Joy, chapter one.
"Angeline stares into the yawning abyss."
"The world remains intact,
but her heart is in pieces."
"It seems mere moments ago
that Elektra stood by her side
and now she belongs to the darkness."
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Thanks so much.
- Hi, cutie.
- Hi!
- What's your name?
- Quinni.
Quinni, okay.
I just wanted to say that
you've completely saved my life.
Not literally, obviously,
because we've never met before.
I've been like reading Angeline
since I was ten.
It's made me love reading and writing.
It's made me a better person.
I'm rambling.
I don't know what I'm saying.
I just love you so much
and I think you're so amazing
and just Thank you.
Oh, thank you, Quinni.
Don't take too long
to start writing your own series
because I'm going to read
all of your books.
- Really?
- Oh, yeah. You're brilliant. I can tell.
Thank you. Um, one more question, sorry.
Can we get a photo together?
- Of course.
- Okay.
You ready?
Oh, yeah. Sorry, do you mind
taking a photo for us?
- Sure thing.
- Thank you.
Three, two, one, cheese!
- Thank you so much. Thank you.
- Lovely to meet you.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Whoa!
- Easy there, cowboy.
Thanks for saving my life, cowgirl.
Don't let it go to your head.
Too late.
Welcome to the club, by the way.
Broken heart society. Population two.
It's great. You'll love it here.
We got snacks and everything.
And I'm sorry Malakai
wasn't honest with you, by the way.
About what happened.
I can't imagine being put on
blast by Harper was any easier.
I know that kind of stuff
is hard to talk about,
but if you ever need someone to listen.
Adorable and a heart of gold.
You're killing me over here.
Shut up.
I don't know why
I didn't figure it out sooner.
Hey, where you going? We just got here.
I hope Amerie doesn't mind
I brought a few strays.
Yeah, that's totally fine.
Come on.
What's going on, bro?
I'm Jai. Missy's brother.
Uh, nice to meet you. I'm Malakai.
I know who you are.
That's a deadly piece, bro.
Uh, Missy gave me one, but I lost it.
Don't even worry about it, bro.
I make these all the time
- I'll get you another one, ey?
- Cheers. I appreciate that.
Excuse me. Are you coming?
Let's go. Come on.
Shit.
Do you want to go somewhere quieter?
I can't believe it actually happened,
I got to meet her.
I want to be a writer.
- What?
- I want to write a book.
And I want to get pissed.
Oh. Sash, I don't really think
I can deal with a party right now.
Are you upset with me?
Being packed into a bookstore
with a bunch of sweaty fangirls for hours
is not exactly my ideal night out.
I thought you wanted to do this with me.
Yeah, I do this for you.
I always feel like I'm trying to do
these things for you.
But what about me, huh?
Do you ever think about me?
- What?
- Sometimes it's hard being with you.
When I just want to be a normal teenager.
I'm not normal enough for you.
Don't pull the fucking autism card
on me right now. You know what I meant.
Sometimes, it's just a lot for me. Okay?
It's a lot for me too, Sasha.
It's my whole life.
No, Quinni, come on.
You know I didn't mean that.
Quinni.
What is this thing?
It's a mermaid bear.
Wait, so does that mean
a bear and the mermaid had to
- Shut up.
- To make this?
- Why do you have this thing?
- I don't know.
Shut up.
I love this song.
I love myself ♪
I want you to love me ♪
When I'm feelin' down ♪
I want you above me ♪
I search myself ♪
I want you to find me ♪
I forget myself ♪
I want you to remind me ♪
I don't want anybody else ♪
When I think about you
I touch myself ♪
I don't want anybody else ♪
Oh no, oh no, oh no ♪
You're the one
Who makes me come running ♪
You're the sun who makes me shine ♪
When you're around I'm always laughing ♪
I wanna make you mine ♪
Hey, do you know where Amerie is?
Uh, probably swapping spit
with her new boyfriend.
We need to talk later.
I reckon you're cool and all
but I think we're better as mates.
No, that's not what I meant.
Everyone, I'm going to do a backflip.
Come on. Move!
Oh, shit.
- Not now.
- Whoo!
Move, dickhead.
Touch me again, babe. I'm desperate.
- Stop!
- Harper!
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
I tried to call you,
but you didn't answer.
You're broken, Harper.
Go wank yourselves off
somewhere else. Not you.
This is serious.
Jump, jump, jump!
Should I jump?
Am I going to make it?
Get down, Malakai!
Oi. Bro, use this.
Move! To the right.
Oi, oi, oi. Make that sound again.
What are you doing?
Why did you even invite me, Amerie?
You made me bring Twister.
You ignored me all night.
Jump!
Don't. Fucking stop!
Jai! Jai!
Jai!
Malakai!
Malakai, please.
Oi! What are you doing?
Get off of me. Fucking get off me!
Get off me. Fucking get off me!
It's all right, brother.
I'm here. I'm here.
It's all right. I got you, cuz. I got you.
It's all right.
You're all fucked in the head.
Every single one of you.
Yo, this sucks balls.
Let's go. Kick ons? Yours?
Oi, going back to Ant's. Kick ons?
Reckon I'm gonna go home.
What? No. Don't be a pussy.
Fuck off, man. I said I'm going home.
All right, bro.
Fuck.
It's coming 'round again ♪
The slowly creeping hand ♪
Of time and its command ♪
Soon enough it comes ♪
And settles in its place ♪
Its shadow in my face ♪
Puts pressure in my day ♪
This life, well
It's slipping right through my hands ♪
These days turned out ♪
Nothing like I had planned ♪
It's coming 'round again ♪
The slowly creeping hand ♪
Of time and its command ♪
It settles in its place ♪
Its shadow in my face ♪
Puts pressure in my day ♪
Soon enough it comes ♪
Here it is again ♪
The slowly creeping hand ♪
Of time and its command ♪
Soon enough it comes ♪
Settles in its place ♪
Its shadow in my face ♪
Undignified and lame ♪
This life, well
It's slipping right through my hands ♪
Do you think I'm cursed to be orbited
by moderately severe shitness
for the rest of my life?
Oh, um, if it's any consolation,
I found this on the bus this morning.
Is that supposed to make me feel better?
Makes me feel better.
Amerie.
Come with me.
Who got murked?
Okay. These people are going to
ask you some questions.
I'm not allowed to stay here
with you, Amerie.
But if anyone needs me afterwards,
I will be in my office. Okay?
Okay.
What?
Listen, if this is about the party
Amerie, we'd like to ask you
a few questions about Miss Obah.