Home Movie: The Princess Bride (2020) s01e06 Episode Script
Chapter Six: The Fire Swamp
1
I'm gonna take a step,
and I'm gonna go, whoo!
And you're gonna flip me over there.
- CHILD: Okay. Mm-hmm.
- You ready? Here we go.
[GASPS] Oh!
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
[BIRD CAWING]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
It's not that bad.
I'm not saying I'd like to
build a summer home here, but
the trees are actually quite lovely.
[WHOOSHING]
[GASPS] Oh!
[FLAMES CRACKLING]
[GASPING]
Singed a bit, were you?
You?
WESTLEY: You see, what I said before
about saying "please" was true.
Finally, Roberts decided something.
He said, "All right,
Westley, I never had a valet.
You can try it for the night.
I'll most likely kill
you in the morning."
It was a fine time for me.
I learned to fence, fight,
anything anybody would teach me.
Roberts got so rich,
he wanted to retire.
So he took me to his
cabin and told me a secret.
"I am not the Dread
Pirate Roberts," he said.
"My name is Ryan.
I inherited this ship from the
previous Dread Pirate Roberts
just as you will inherit it from me."
The real Roberts had
been retired 15 years
and living like a king in Patagonia.
Thank you. Then he explained,
it was the name that was important
for inspiring the necessary fear.
You see, no one would surrender
to the Dread Pirate Westley.
So we sailed ashore, took
on an entirely new crew,
and he stayed aboard
for a while as first mate
all the time calling me Roberts.
Once the crew believed, he left the ship
and I've been Roberts ever since.
Except now that we're
together, I shall retire
and hand the name over to someone else.
Is everything clear to you?
[GASPS]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
[COUGHING]
[GAGGING]
We'll never get out of here.
We might as well die here.
[SNARLING]
No, no, no. We've already succeeded.
Come on, what do we have to fear here?
The fire? Not a problem.
The quicksand? Well, we
got out of that, didn't we?
Very, very quick.
What about the ROUS's?
The huge rodents?
I don't think we're going
to have a problem with them.
- [SNARLING]
- [WESTLEY GASPS]
Oh shit!
[GROANING]
- [GROWLS]
- [GROANS]
[SNARLS]
[SCREAMS]
[SNARLING]
[BUTTERCUP SCREAMING]
[GROANS]
[WHOOSHING]
Oh, God, oh. Oh, no.
[GROANS]
[SIGHS]
Now, was that so terrible?
[HORSE WHINNIES]
[HOOF BEATS]
Surrender!
You mean you wish to surrender to me?
Very well, I accept.
I give you full marks for bravery.
Do not make yourself a fool.
Ah, but how will you capture us?
We know the secrets of the Fire Swamp.
We can live there safely
for quite some time.
So whenever you feel like dying,
feel free to visit.
I tell you once again, surrender.
It will not happen!
For the last time, surrender!
Death first.
Will you promise not to hurt him?
- What was that?
- What was that?
If we were to surrender,
and I return with you,
will you promise not to hurt this man?
May I live a thousand
years and never hunt again.
Promise me you'll
return him to his ship.
I swear it will be done.
Once we're out of sight,
take him back to Florin and
throw him into the Pit of Despair.
I swear it will be done.
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING]
I thought you died once
and it almost destroyed me.
I could not bear it if you died again.
Not when I could save you.
Come, sir, we must get you to your ship.
We are men of action.
Lies do not become us.
Well spoken, sir.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
What is it?
You have six fingers on your right hand.
Someone was looking for you.
[GROANS]
I'm gonna take a step,
and I'm gonna go, whoo!
And you're gonna flip me over there.
- CHILD: Okay. Mm-hmm.
- You ready? Here we go.
[GASPS] Oh!
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
[BIRD CAWING]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
It's not that bad.
I'm not saying I'd like to
build a summer home here, but
the trees are actually quite lovely.
[WHOOSHING]
[GASPS] Oh!
[FLAMES CRACKLING]
[GASPING]
Singed a bit, were you?
You?
WESTLEY: You see, what I said before
about saying "please" was true.
Finally, Roberts decided something.
He said, "All right,
Westley, I never had a valet.
You can try it for the night.
I'll most likely kill
you in the morning."
It was a fine time for me.
I learned to fence, fight,
anything anybody would teach me.
Roberts got so rich,
he wanted to retire.
So he took me to his
cabin and told me a secret.
"I am not the Dread
Pirate Roberts," he said.
"My name is Ryan.
I inherited this ship from the
previous Dread Pirate Roberts
just as you will inherit it from me."
The real Roberts had
been retired 15 years
and living like a king in Patagonia.
Thank you. Then he explained,
it was the name that was important
for inspiring the necessary fear.
You see, no one would surrender
to the Dread Pirate Westley.
So we sailed ashore, took
on an entirely new crew,
and he stayed aboard
for a while as first mate
all the time calling me Roberts.
Once the crew believed, he left the ship
and I've been Roberts ever since.
Except now that we're
together, I shall retire
and hand the name over to someone else.
Is everything clear to you?
[GASPS]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
[COUGHING]
[GAGGING]
We'll never get out of here.
We might as well die here.
[SNARLING]
No, no, no. We've already succeeded.
Come on, what do we have to fear here?
The fire? Not a problem.
The quicksand? Well, we
got out of that, didn't we?
Very, very quick.
What about the ROUS's?
The huge rodents?
I don't think we're going
to have a problem with them.
- [SNARLING]
- [WESTLEY GASPS]
Oh shit!
[GROANING]
- [GROWLS]
- [GROANS]
[SNARLS]
[SCREAMS]
[SNARLING]
[BUTTERCUP SCREAMING]
[GROANS]
[WHOOSHING]
Oh, God, oh. Oh, no.
[GROANS]
[SIGHS]
Now, was that so terrible?
[HORSE WHINNIES]
[HOOF BEATS]
Surrender!
You mean you wish to surrender to me?
Very well, I accept.
I give you full marks for bravery.
Do not make yourself a fool.
Ah, but how will you capture us?
We know the secrets of the Fire Swamp.
We can live there safely
for quite some time.
So whenever you feel like dying,
feel free to visit.
I tell you once again, surrender.
It will not happen!
For the last time, surrender!
Death first.
Will you promise not to hurt him?
- What was that?
- What was that?
If we were to surrender,
and I return with you,
will you promise not to hurt this man?
May I live a thousand
years and never hunt again.
Promise me you'll
return him to his ship.
I swear it will be done.
Once we're out of sight,
take him back to Florin and
throw him into the Pit of Despair.
I swear it will be done.
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING]
I thought you died once
and it almost destroyed me.
I could not bear it if you died again.
Not when I could save you.
Come, sir, we must get you to your ship.
We are men of action.
Lies do not become us.
Well spoken, sir.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
What is it?
You have six fingers on your right hand.
Someone was looking for you.
[GROANS]