Hotel Transylvania: The Series (2017) s01e06 Episode Script
Great Eggspectations; Hotel Pennsylvania
1 [THUNDER BOOMING.]
[MUSIC.]
[SCREAMING.]
[MUSIC.]
[GROANING.]
Why aren't my dad's plants growing? Your dad's plants aren't growing 'cause they're dead.
- And not good dead like you.
- Dead like dead and gone.
[COUGHING.]
Ooh! This plant is growing! [SCREAMING.]
- Or making a run for it.
- No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
They can't be dead! I promised my dad I'd take care of them while he's away.
Maybe watering with acid rain isn't your best choice.
Urgh! I don't get it.
I totally have a green thumb.
Same.
Though mine is probably from gangrene.
Ew.
You should really see Dr.
Gillman about that! [GASPING.]
I can get new plants from Quasimodo's garden! - My dad will never know.
- Um, isn't your dad a psycho? I think you mean a "psychic.
" Either way, let's hope he doesn't find out! Come on, Wendy! [LAUGHING.]
This'll be a fresh start.
I'm taking care of another living thing, even if it kills me! Like you killed that cockroach in your pocket? Margaret is not dead! She's shy.
[SINGING FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM WITH LAS.]
Whoop, they goes.
And # La, la # Whoop! # And la, la # Hop! Hop! Whoa! [VOCALIZING.]
Okay! [SNIFFING.]
[SNIFFING.]
Ah! [CLEARING THROAT.]
Quasi? - Wha? - I need some plants.
Bien sur.
I have Poison Ivy, Dead Rabbit Foot Fern, and uh, oh, Daisies.
What about [HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING.]
No! I don't grow [HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING.]
anymore.
Way too annoying.
I mean, you can't break that egg! This is a very bad egg.
- But it hasn't even had a chance.
- To do what? I don't know.
Be an egg.
It's so cute.
[GASPING.]
I've got it! I'll raise it! What better way to show I'm responsi ooh! I tested it with my taste receptors and zat is a rotten egg! That's my spit and boogers right there.
It will eat you when it hatches, you know.
Eggs don't eat vampires.
Or anything.
Hah! That egg will have you for Scareday Brunch! Don't worry, as long as that egg is with Mavis, it's as good as dead.
[SCREAMING.]
Uh, bye! Saperlipopette! Don't you think of making a break for it.
I'm taking care of you, if it's the last thing I do.
Hmm.
I'd better egg-proof my room a bit.
[MUSIC.]
There, that should do it.
Room service! How would you like your egg? Fried? Poached? Scrambled? [LAUGHS.]
Quasi, stop trying to poach my egg! Poached! My specialty.
Breakfast is ze most important meal of the day! [LAUGHING.]
- Go away! - Bah! You'll be sorry! Okay! We've gotta keep you warm.
Hey, we're going bowling! You in? We drew straws.
I'm the ball.
Um, yeah, I, uh I wish I could, but ah, I got a whole day of sitting ahead of me.
- Is this real life? - [CLUCKING.]
All wrong! [CLUCKING.]
Wings up! [CLUCKING.]
Legs back! [CLUCKING.]
Carry on! [CLUCKING.]
[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY.]
Seems I, uh, wasn't doing it right.
Ha-ha! [VOCALIZING.]
I must get zet bad egg! Mavis! - Shh! Weggsley is sleeping.
- You named it? Aw, Weggsley is so darling when he sleeps.
- Just look at that face? - I know, right? It has no face.
It's just an egg.
Maybe to you! [COOING.]
Yeah, pretty sure it looks that way to everybody.
- That and crazy.
- Do you think when Weggsley wakes up, he might want to play egg sport? - I thought you were going bowling.
- That didn't last long.
So long, suckers! Tell the Draculas I'm on vacation! Oh, BTW, Cheryl's on vacation.
[SIGHING.]
Fine.
How do you play egg sport? Alright, you kick the egg around until it breaks into a million pieces, then you eat it.
- You know, egg sport! - Egg sport.
- [GASPING.]
You monsters! - Uh, duh.
Huh? [YELPING.]
QUASI: Zut alors! You are not ze egg! WENDY: Ooh, cool vent.
Don't you worry, little Weggsley, I'll take care of you.
[SIGHING CONTENTEDLY.]
[CRACKING.]
Holy rabies! He's hatching! Weggsley! You're a real boy! [MUSIC.]
[LAUGHING.]
PEDRO: Hey, Mavis! New plan: we're goin' looking for Wendy.
Wanna come? - She's missing? - Or hiding! We just don't know.
I wish I could help, but guess who hatched! I have a greater purpose in my undead life now.
Why? You did it.
You proved you could keep something alive, - as weird as it is.
- It's really not about that at all.
But it's kind of about that, right? - Okay - It's about that, right? - I mean-e It started out that way, right? Okay! It started out that way.
But look, he needs me.
When you have an egg with legs one day, you'll understand.
- Is this real life? - Mavis, you heard Quasi.
That dude is a bad egg! No, he's not.
He is the sweetest, cutest egg you could ever ask for.
[CRASHING.]
[WHISPERING.]
Let's go find Wendy.
"All the king's ghouls and undead men couldn't put Humpty together again.
" Wow.
I can't believe I just read that to you.
Sorry.
[LAUGHING.]
Aw, you want to play creep-a-boo.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING AND GROWLING.]
Creep-a-boo! How long did I cover my eyes for? Weggsley! - Wendy! - Hi, Hank! [STRAINING.]
We found you.
Oh, was I lost? Because it has happened to me before without me knowing.
- Wah! - Ugh.
Who's the giant rat? Uh, Quasimodo? No, we're talking about the other giant [ALL SCREAMING.]
[GASPING.]
Weggsley, there you are! [SCREAMING.]
Oh, careful! You'll turn yourself into a chopped egg salad! Nightshade vegetables for a snack? You are either a very healthy eater or you are stalling before bedtime! Come back here! Now stay put.
QUASI: Look! Ze kitchen! [ALL PANTING.]
Aw, did you guys come here because you're worried - about Weggsley too? - Uh, sure.
Also, we were running from a giant rat.
- Really big.
- Like huge.
I thought we were chasing it.
Uh, Mavis? You know how you said you'd take care of another living creature - even if it killed you? - Uh-huh.
Pretty sure the killing part is about to happen! Oh, he's just playing make-believe.
Yeah, well, it's about time you start to believe believe 'cause that egg gonna cook you! - It iz a bad egg! - Get out of there, Mavis! Ah! Holy rabies! - [GASPS.]
He flies too? - I told you he's a fast learner! C'est pas possible! Oh, it's possible.
[MAVIS PANTING.]
[LAUGHING.]
I am beating zis egg once and for all! Sorry, Quasi, but he's still my weird flying egg baby! Ooh! [SCREAMING.]
[CRASHING.]
- QUASI: Saperlipopette! - MAVIS: Ah! [MAVIS SCREAMING.]
[GULPING.]
Now what? We'll put something really nice on your tombstone, Mavis! "Here Lies the bestest friend ever.
" Aw, you are just the sweetest, Wendy! - Killer egg? - Oh, right.
[ROARING.]
- Uh-oh.
- Whoa! Weggsley! [SOBBING.]
En guarde! [SIGHING.]
I guess he was a bad egg after all.
If only somebody had warned me.
[SCREAMING.]
But on the plus side, my dad is going to be so proud of how huge his Venus flytrap has grown! [STOMACH GURGLING.]
Well, I still have Margaret.
Nope, I've been dead for weeks.
[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY.]
[MUSIC.]
[ELECTRICTY CRACKING.]
[STRAINING.]
Okay, that was a lot of work, but we can finally watch human TV again.
I may be grossed out by the sight, smell, and hairdos of humans, but, man, do I love their TV.
Huh, I didn't realize you knew how to hook up cable, Mavis.
It's actually pretty simple, if you have the right tools, which I do not.
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING, MAVIS COUGHING.]
I still can't believe your Aunt Lydia's okay with us watching it.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, she isn't.
If she finds out, she'll probably eat our souls.
Now, who's ready for the final episode of Hotel Pennsylvania? [CHEERING.]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
Sometimes in life, you can start to feel Like you got no room, like you just can't deal But you can pack your bags, you can check right in 'Cause new adventures are about to begin! So make some room for me! [CLUCKING.]
What's that? And make some room for me! [CLUCKING.]
TV? And make some room for me And me and me At Hotel Pennsylvania Is it me or do Davis, Tank, Penny, and Petra - seem, like, really familiar? - Nope.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
- Don't think so.
- Clearly just you.
[ZAP.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
Cable seems okay.
I wonder what happ [CLEARING THROAT.]
Aunt Lydia! Oh! We were just trying to figure out what this weird cable-y thingy is.
Huh? What are you just babbling about there, Mavis? You just set it up for us to watch human TV, huh? I hope you got your fill of that disgusting human program because I have personally disposed of every television in the hotel.
Mark my words none of you will ever watch TV in this hotel again! - 'Cept on our birthdays, right? - [EVIL VOICE.]
Ever! Diane.
[CLUCKING MOCKINGLY.]
[GROANING.]
I guess we're never gonna see the last episode of Hotel P.
Ah! That's not good.
I heard you can get real sick if you miss the final episode of a show.
- It's called the don't-sees disease.
- That is so not a real thing.
Of course the don't-sees is a real thing! It's just not in text books or journals.
Also, I may have just named it yesterday.
Take this case.
He used to be twenty feet tall and as smelly as a Minotaur.
But then he missed the last episode of My Three Huns.
[WEAKLY.]
Barbara! What happened to Barbara? As you can see from this chart I just drew, missing the last episode of a TV show turns normal monsters into puddles at an alarming rate.
But, ah, that won't happen to us, will it, Dr.
Gillman? Not as long as you follow this prescription - to the letter! - "Watch TV.
" No one ever said the road to recovery would be a smooth one.
[SNORING.]
Yes! Now we've just gotta give this to Aunt Lydia and Lydia! Ah! You were never here.
So, not only are we gonna miss the last episode of Hotel P, we're gonna be puddles, too? Awesome.
[THEME SONG PLAYING FAINTLY.]
It's like I can still hear the theme song in my head.
- [GASPS.]
What if that's a symptom? - No wait! I hear it too! It's coming from the Cartwright house! [THEME SONG PLAYING FAINTLY.]
66 episodes in a row! New record! Ow, ow! Are you sure this is a good idea? - If Lydia finds out - But she won't find out.
- There's no way Diane is following us.
- It's worth the risk.
I am not down with that gooey puddle look.
Plus, I gotta know what happens to my girl Petra.
ANNOUNCER: This week on Hotel Pennsylvania, Davis checks in a Mister Bank Robbertson? No way! He was on the last episode too! [ALARM BEEPING.]
Sweet chili heat! Is it really 6:00 a.
m.
? Our special guest is gonna be here any minute! Mavis, maybe we should go, too.
It's getting pretty bright out and, I mean, the humans and all What?! We're finally watching the last episode! I will not let you succumb to the sickness.
Dibs on the lawn chair! [CLUCKING.]
Diane? But how did you [CLUCKING.]
- I see what's going on here.
- [CLUCKING.]
You do? You were following us this whole time! Let me guess, now you're gonna tell Lydia what we did and she'll make us clean out the Cerberus Pit.
Bwak-bwak-busted.
[PANTING.]
I feel like a big moist towelette! It must be the don't-sees taking hold! - Tell my burrito guy I love him! - I'm dripping too! Mavis, we gotta find a TV stat! I still don't get how Diane followed us without us knowing.
Unless, what if she was already there? - Uh, she was? - I mean, what if she wasn't spying? What if she was there for another reason and just got lucky? It's just like that Hotel Pennsylvania episode, "Catch Me If You Cantaloupe.
" Davis and the gang snuck into the lobby to read the Monster Comics that Uncle Sid forbid them to.
But at the same time, Ryan was stealing Sid's prized cantaloupe from the front desk! Then, Davis assumes Ryan was spying on them and Ryan, he just goes with it! [WHISTLE BLOWING.]
No, not even close, Wendy.
- That show is fictional.
Duh.
- This here is real life.
- Who's even heard of "cantaloupe?" - True.
I think maybe it's time we turned the tables on that bird.
Come on, guys! [CLUCKING.]
[CLUCKING.]
[HORN BLARING.]
Diane really is sneaking over to the human house.
- But why? - And why would she take the 95 bus? The number 2 is way more direct.
Where'd she go? We were right on her tail feathers! Wait! Is losing people one of the signs of the don't-sees? Mavis! [ROOSTER CROWING.]
[CROWING.]
No way! You're back! Humans! We gotta warn her! It's too late.
She's a goner.
I can't look.
[CLUCKING.]
ALL: Huh? [CLUCKING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Who wants breakfast? - What is going on? - No, don't let her No, you can't, you [LAUGHING.]
[CLUCKING.]
- You guys know what this is? - Well, it looks like Diane has been leading a double life as a real chicken! Yup.
And it's our ticket out of Aunt Lydia's doghouse literally.
[SNIFFING.]
Going somewhere? [CLUCKING IN ALARM.]
Diane! [TERRIFIED CLUCKING.]
I'm very disappointed.
Adequate work, Mavis.
- So, that was awful.
- Yeah.
Telling on Diane didn't feel as good as I'd hoped.
Oh no! I can feel myself getting drippier and drippier! The don't-sees! It's happening! Come on! Pull yourself together! With Diane on doody duty, we're free to cross that bridge and catch the last episode of Hotel Pennsylvania! WENDY: So, I guess you don't know your Aunt? - The puddling has begun! - Uh-oh, here it comes.
We're in for the clucking of a lifetime.
[CLUCKING DEJECTEDLY.]
- What was that? - Huh.
Is it possible Diane actually misses hanging out with the humans? Diane? It's me, Mavis.
I know you don't have any reason to trust me, but I'm really sorry for messing up your weird, weird thing with the humans.
[CLUCKING.]
I want to make it up to you.
I think if we work together, there's a way everybody wins.
[CLUCKING.]
Okay, team, we're running out of time.
We must watch TV! So, leave the talking to me.
I'm an excellent negotiator.
[SILENT GROWL.]
[CLEARING THROAT.]
[CHOMPS.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[MUFFLED SCREAMING.]
Don't look at me! I'm hideous! Wait a sec! I have wings! I can just fly over and then Oh, come on! Guys, this is just like that Hotel Pennsylvania episode when Davis, Tank, and Petra had to escape [SIGHING.]
Let's just dig a tunnel.
- Yeah, great thinking! - Nice one! You da blob, Wendy! [CLUCKING.]
- [SIGHS.]
Made it! - I'm so excited! - Ooh-ooh-ooh! - Oh, gosh [CROWING.]
You're back.
You're back! You're back! Oh! Oh, joyous day! We were so worried! - Humans are just gross.
- She did it though.
They're totally distracted by her! Even Hotel Pennsylvania couldn't have thought up a moment like this! Now, let's go watch the finale! And once again, TV saves lives.
And make some room for me [ALL SIGHING.]
And me and me At Hotel Pennsylvania [LAUGHING.]
[MUSIC.]
[SCREAMING.]
[MUSIC.]
[GROANING.]
Why aren't my dad's plants growing? Your dad's plants aren't growing 'cause they're dead.
- And not good dead like you.
- Dead like dead and gone.
[COUGHING.]
Ooh! This plant is growing! [SCREAMING.]
- Or making a run for it.
- No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
They can't be dead! I promised my dad I'd take care of them while he's away.
Maybe watering with acid rain isn't your best choice.
Urgh! I don't get it.
I totally have a green thumb.
Same.
Though mine is probably from gangrene.
Ew.
You should really see Dr.
Gillman about that! [GASPING.]
I can get new plants from Quasimodo's garden! - My dad will never know.
- Um, isn't your dad a psycho? I think you mean a "psychic.
" Either way, let's hope he doesn't find out! Come on, Wendy! [LAUGHING.]
This'll be a fresh start.
I'm taking care of another living thing, even if it kills me! Like you killed that cockroach in your pocket? Margaret is not dead! She's shy.
[SINGING FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM WITH LAS.]
Whoop, they goes.
And # La, la # Whoop! # And la, la # Hop! Hop! Whoa! [VOCALIZING.]
Okay! [SNIFFING.]
[SNIFFING.]
Ah! [CLEARING THROAT.]
Quasi? - Wha? - I need some plants.
Bien sur.
I have Poison Ivy, Dead Rabbit Foot Fern, and uh, oh, Daisies.
What about [HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING.]
No! I don't grow [HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING.]
anymore.
Way too annoying.
I mean, you can't break that egg! This is a very bad egg.
- But it hasn't even had a chance.
- To do what? I don't know.
Be an egg.
It's so cute.
[GASPING.]
I've got it! I'll raise it! What better way to show I'm responsi ooh! I tested it with my taste receptors and zat is a rotten egg! That's my spit and boogers right there.
It will eat you when it hatches, you know.
Eggs don't eat vampires.
Or anything.
Hah! That egg will have you for Scareday Brunch! Don't worry, as long as that egg is with Mavis, it's as good as dead.
[SCREAMING.]
Uh, bye! Saperlipopette! Don't you think of making a break for it.
I'm taking care of you, if it's the last thing I do.
Hmm.
I'd better egg-proof my room a bit.
[MUSIC.]
There, that should do it.
Room service! How would you like your egg? Fried? Poached? Scrambled? [LAUGHS.]
Quasi, stop trying to poach my egg! Poached! My specialty.
Breakfast is ze most important meal of the day! [LAUGHING.]
- Go away! - Bah! You'll be sorry! Okay! We've gotta keep you warm.
Hey, we're going bowling! You in? We drew straws.
I'm the ball.
Um, yeah, I, uh I wish I could, but ah, I got a whole day of sitting ahead of me.
- Is this real life? - [CLUCKING.]
All wrong! [CLUCKING.]
Wings up! [CLUCKING.]
Legs back! [CLUCKING.]
Carry on! [CLUCKING.]
[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY.]
Seems I, uh, wasn't doing it right.
Ha-ha! [VOCALIZING.]
I must get zet bad egg! Mavis! - Shh! Weggsley is sleeping.
- You named it? Aw, Weggsley is so darling when he sleeps.
- Just look at that face? - I know, right? It has no face.
It's just an egg.
Maybe to you! [COOING.]
Yeah, pretty sure it looks that way to everybody.
- That and crazy.
- Do you think when Weggsley wakes up, he might want to play egg sport? - I thought you were going bowling.
- That didn't last long.
So long, suckers! Tell the Draculas I'm on vacation! Oh, BTW, Cheryl's on vacation.
[SIGHING.]
Fine.
How do you play egg sport? Alright, you kick the egg around until it breaks into a million pieces, then you eat it.
- You know, egg sport! - Egg sport.
- [GASPING.]
You monsters! - Uh, duh.
Huh? [YELPING.]
QUASI: Zut alors! You are not ze egg! WENDY: Ooh, cool vent.
Don't you worry, little Weggsley, I'll take care of you.
[SIGHING CONTENTEDLY.]
[CRACKING.]
Holy rabies! He's hatching! Weggsley! You're a real boy! [MUSIC.]
[LAUGHING.]
PEDRO: Hey, Mavis! New plan: we're goin' looking for Wendy.
Wanna come? - She's missing? - Or hiding! We just don't know.
I wish I could help, but guess who hatched! I have a greater purpose in my undead life now.
Why? You did it.
You proved you could keep something alive, - as weird as it is.
- It's really not about that at all.
But it's kind of about that, right? - Okay - It's about that, right? - I mean-e It started out that way, right? Okay! It started out that way.
But look, he needs me.
When you have an egg with legs one day, you'll understand.
- Is this real life? - Mavis, you heard Quasi.
That dude is a bad egg! No, he's not.
He is the sweetest, cutest egg you could ever ask for.
[CRASHING.]
[WHISPERING.]
Let's go find Wendy.
"All the king's ghouls and undead men couldn't put Humpty together again.
" Wow.
I can't believe I just read that to you.
Sorry.
[LAUGHING.]
Aw, you want to play creep-a-boo.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING AND GROWLING.]
Creep-a-boo! How long did I cover my eyes for? Weggsley! - Wendy! - Hi, Hank! [STRAINING.]
We found you.
Oh, was I lost? Because it has happened to me before without me knowing.
- Wah! - Ugh.
Who's the giant rat? Uh, Quasimodo? No, we're talking about the other giant [ALL SCREAMING.]
[GASPING.]
Weggsley, there you are! [SCREAMING.]
Oh, careful! You'll turn yourself into a chopped egg salad! Nightshade vegetables for a snack? You are either a very healthy eater or you are stalling before bedtime! Come back here! Now stay put.
QUASI: Look! Ze kitchen! [ALL PANTING.]
Aw, did you guys come here because you're worried - about Weggsley too? - Uh, sure.
Also, we were running from a giant rat.
- Really big.
- Like huge.
I thought we were chasing it.
Uh, Mavis? You know how you said you'd take care of another living creature - even if it killed you? - Uh-huh.
Pretty sure the killing part is about to happen! Oh, he's just playing make-believe.
Yeah, well, it's about time you start to believe believe 'cause that egg gonna cook you! - It iz a bad egg! - Get out of there, Mavis! Ah! Holy rabies! - [GASPS.]
He flies too? - I told you he's a fast learner! C'est pas possible! Oh, it's possible.
[MAVIS PANTING.]
[LAUGHING.]
I am beating zis egg once and for all! Sorry, Quasi, but he's still my weird flying egg baby! Ooh! [SCREAMING.]
[CRASHING.]
- QUASI: Saperlipopette! - MAVIS: Ah! [MAVIS SCREAMING.]
[GULPING.]
Now what? We'll put something really nice on your tombstone, Mavis! "Here Lies the bestest friend ever.
" Aw, you are just the sweetest, Wendy! - Killer egg? - Oh, right.
[ROARING.]
- Uh-oh.
- Whoa! Weggsley! [SOBBING.]
En guarde! [SIGHING.]
I guess he was a bad egg after all.
If only somebody had warned me.
[SCREAMING.]
But on the plus side, my dad is going to be so proud of how huge his Venus flytrap has grown! [STOMACH GURGLING.]
Well, I still have Margaret.
Nope, I've been dead for weeks.
[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY.]
[MUSIC.]
[ELECTRICTY CRACKING.]
[STRAINING.]
Okay, that was a lot of work, but we can finally watch human TV again.
I may be grossed out by the sight, smell, and hairdos of humans, but, man, do I love their TV.
Huh, I didn't realize you knew how to hook up cable, Mavis.
It's actually pretty simple, if you have the right tools, which I do not.
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING, MAVIS COUGHING.]
I still can't believe your Aunt Lydia's okay with us watching it.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, she isn't.
If she finds out, she'll probably eat our souls.
Now, who's ready for the final episode of Hotel Pennsylvania? [CHEERING.]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
Sometimes in life, you can start to feel Like you got no room, like you just can't deal But you can pack your bags, you can check right in 'Cause new adventures are about to begin! So make some room for me! [CLUCKING.]
What's that? And make some room for me! [CLUCKING.]
TV? And make some room for me And me and me At Hotel Pennsylvania Is it me or do Davis, Tank, Penny, and Petra - seem, like, really familiar? - Nope.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS.]
- Don't think so.
- Clearly just you.
[ZAP.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
Cable seems okay.
I wonder what happ [CLEARING THROAT.]
Aunt Lydia! Oh! We were just trying to figure out what this weird cable-y thingy is.
Huh? What are you just babbling about there, Mavis? You just set it up for us to watch human TV, huh? I hope you got your fill of that disgusting human program because I have personally disposed of every television in the hotel.
Mark my words none of you will ever watch TV in this hotel again! - 'Cept on our birthdays, right? - [EVIL VOICE.]
Ever! Diane.
[CLUCKING MOCKINGLY.]
[GROANING.]
I guess we're never gonna see the last episode of Hotel P.
Ah! That's not good.
I heard you can get real sick if you miss the final episode of a show.
- It's called the don't-sees disease.
- That is so not a real thing.
Of course the don't-sees is a real thing! It's just not in text books or journals.
Also, I may have just named it yesterday.
Take this case.
He used to be twenty feet tall and as smelly as a Minotaur.
But then he missed the last episode of My Three Huns.
[WEAKLY.]
Barbara! What happened to Barbara? As you can see from this chart I just drew, missing the last episode of a TV show turns normal monsters into puddles at an alarming rate.
But, ah, that won't happen to us, will it, Dr.
Gillman? Not as long as you follow this prescription - to the letter! - "Watch TV.
" No one ever said the road to recovery would be a smooth one.
[SNORING.]
Yes! Now we've just gotta give this to Aunt Lydia and Lydia! Ah! You were never here.
So, not only are we gonna miss the last episode of Hotel P, we're gonna be puddles, too? Awesome.
[THEME SONG PLAYING FAINTLY.]
It's like I can still hear the theme song in my head.
- [GASPS.]
What if that's a symptom? - No wait! I hear it too! It's coming from the Cartwright house! [THEME SONG PLAYING FAINTLY.]
66 episodes in a row! New record! Ow, ow! Are you sure this is a good idea? - If Lydia finds out - But she won't find out.
- There's no way Diane is following us.
- It's worth the risk.
I am not down with that gooey puddle look.
Plus, I gotta know what happens to my girl Petra.
ANNOUNCER: This week on Hotel Pennsylvania, Davis checks in a Mister Bank Robbertson? No way! He was on the last episode too! [ALARM BEEPING.]
Sweet chili heat! Is it really 6:00 a.
m.
? Our special guest is gonna be here any minute! Mavis, maybe we should go, too.
It's getting pretty bright out and, I mean, the humans and all What?! We're finally watching the last episode! I will not let you succumb to the sickness.
Dibs on the lawn chair! [CLUCKING.]
Diane? But how did you [CLUCKING.]
- I see what's going on here.
- [CLUCKING.]
You do? You were following us this whole time! Let me guess, now you're gonna tell Lydia what we did and she'll make us clean out the Cerberus Pit.
Bwak-bwak-busted.
[PANTING.]
I feel like a big moist towelette! It must be the don't-sees taking hold! - Tell my burrito guy I love him! - I'm dripping too! Mavis, we gotta find a TV stat! I still don't get how Diane followed us without us knowing.
Unless, what if she was already there? - Uh, she was? - I mean, what if she wasn't spying? What if she was there for another reason and just got lucky? It's just like that Hotel Pennsylvania episode, "Catch Me If You Cantaloupe.
" Davis and the gang snuck into the lobby to read the Monster Comics that Uncle Sid forbid them to.
But at the same time, Ryan was stealing Sid's prized cantaloupe from the front desk! Then, Davis assumes Ryan was spying on them and Ryan, he just goes with it! [WHISTLE BLOWING.]
No, not even close, Wendy.
- That show is fictional.
Duh.
- This here is real life.
- Who's even heard of "cantaloupe?" - True.
I think maybe it's time we turned the tables on that bird.
Come on, guys! [CLUCKING.]
[CLUCKING.]
[HORN BLARING.]
Diane really is sneaking over to the human house.
- But why? - And why would she take the 95 bus? The number 2 is way more direct.
Where'd she go? We were right on her tail feathers! Wait! Is losing people one of the signs of the don't-sees? Mavis! [ROOSTER CROWING.]
[CROWING.]
No way! You're back! Humans! We gotta warn her! It's too late.
She's a goner.
I can't look.
[CLUCKING.]
ALL: Huh? [CLUCKING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Who wants breakfast? - What is going on? - No, don't let her No, you can't, you [LAUGHING.]
[CLUCKING.]
- You guys know what this is? - Well, it looks like Diane has been leading a double life as a real chicken! Yup.
And it's our ticket out of Aunt Lydia's doghouse literally.
[SNIFFING.]
Going somewhere? [CLUCKING IN ALARM.]
Diane! [TERRIFIED CLUCKING.]
I'm very disappointed.
Adequate work, Mavis.
- So, that was awful.
- Yeah.
Telling on Diane didn't feel as good as I'd hoped.
Oh no! I can feel myself getting drippier and drippier! The don't-sees! It's happening! Come on! Pull yourself together! With Diane on doody duty, we're free to cross that bridge and catch the last episode of Hotel Pennsylvania! WENDY: So, I guess you don't know your Aunt? - The puddling has begun! - Uh-oh, here it comes.
We're in for the clucking of a lifetime.
[CLUCKING DEJECTEDLY.]
- What was that? - Huh.
Is it possible Diane actually misses hanging out with the humans? Diane? It's me, Mavis.
I know you don't have any reason to trust me, but I'm really sorry for messing up your weird, weird thing with the humans.
[CLUCKING.]
I want to make it up to you.
I think if we work together, there's a way everybody wins.
[CLUCKING.]
Okay, team, we're running out of time.
We must watch TV! So, leave the talking to me.
I'm an excellent negotiator.
[SILENT GROWL.]
[CLEARING THROAT.]
[CHOMPS.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[MUFFLED SCREAMING.]
Don't look at me! I'm hideous! Wait a sec! I have wings! I can just fly over and then Oh, come on! Guys, this is just like that Hotel Pennsylvania episode when Davis, Tank, and Petra had to escape [SIGHING.]
Let's just dig a tunnel.
- Yeah, great thinking! - Nice one! You da blob, Wendy! [CLUCKING.]
- [SIGHS.]
Made it! - I'm so excited! - Ooh-ooh-ooh! - Oh, gosh [CROWING.]
You're back.
You're back! You're back! Oh! Oh, joyous day! We were so worried! - Humans are just gross.
- She did it though.
They're totally distracted by her! Even Hotel Pennsylvania couldn't have thought up a moment like this! Now, let's go watch the finale! And once again, TV saves lives.
And make some room for me [ALL SIGHING.]
And me and me At Hotel Pennsylvania [LAUGHING.]