I Didn't Do It (2014) s01e06 Episode Script
Lindylicious
Check it out, people.
This is gonna be big.
It's gonna be everywhere.
Is the smoothie machine supposed to sound like that? Turn it off! Turn it off! - I'm trying.
It's not working.
- Here.
I stopped it.
You're nothing but trouble but trouble's what I like Got a whole life to figure it out so why start tonight Just take a picture of me taking a picture of you Making the face that makes me laugh And you start laughing too And when the world looks upside down Just flip the camera the other way around 'Cause this will be the time of our, time of our lives We're taking the world by surprise Hang on it's a crazy ride Yeah, this will be the time of our, time of our lives And even when it don't feel right Know that you're doing just fine 'Cause this is the time of our lives Did they announce it? Did I win, did I win, did I win? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know What you're talking about.
I believe she's referring to the rumble juice create-a-smoothie-contest.
That's right.
The winner gets a smoothie named after them.
How does the Lindy-licious sound? Like you needed more time to come up with a name.
Yeah, the Lindy-licious talk about contrived.
What's your smoothie called, Delia? The deli-icious.
Yeah, that's right.
You're not the only horse in this race.
Please tell me your smoothie doesn't actually have horse in it.
All my ingredients are secret, but vegetarians should probably order something else.
Guys, I really wanna win this contest.
I've been working on this recipe for years.
I only use the finest organic fruit that I grew under my bed with a grow light.
All this time, I thought you were reading comics under your bed.
Finally finished my report on the odyssey.
That book was great.
No wonder they've been reading it for 3,000 years.
- It's the hardest book ever.
- Are you not understanding it? No, it's literally the hardest book ever.
Remind me not to borrow that book when you're done reading it.
Oh, I'm not gonna read it.
I'm totally waiting for the movie.
Look who's loganing again.
Loganing what's that? Being awesome? Not doing work.
- Finding shortcuts.
- Taking the easy way out.
Loganing.
That's ridiculous.
But I'm too lazy to think back if that's true.
Can one of you do it for me? And you mock me for carrying a handkerchief.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the rumble juice create-a-smoothie contest Oh, please, please, please, please, please.
Relax, Lindy.
It's just a meaningless smoothie contest.
The Lindy-licious! I curse this place and all in it.
This is so unexpected.
I would like to thank the good people at organic seeds, and, of course, the makers of the under-the-bed grow lights.
Thank you.
Congratulations, Lindy.
You crushed it.
Good one, 'cause it's a smoothie.
No, you did a really great job.
I'm really happy for you.
You're, like, one of the coolest girls that comes in here.
Well, thank you, Cole.
That's so sweet.
Here's your plaque.
Gosh, I don't need a plaque.
It's about the smoothie.
It's a little crooked.
You know what else is a little crooked? The nose of the actor that stars in brain chompers 4.
I am dying to see that movie.
Me, too.
Do you, uh Wanna go together? We could celebrate your victory.
Sure, why not? This is so exciting.
Lindy-liciouses for everybody! And by everybody, I mean just my friends on the couch.
Make them smalls.
Hey! So, what are we doin' tonight? Oh, I already have plans.
I'm going to see brain chompers 4 - with Cole.
- Cole? You're going on a date with a blendista? It's not a date.
And he's a male, so technically, he's a blendisto.
So the guy who decided your smoothie won the contest asked you on a date.
Are you implying my drink only won because he wanted to go out with me? It was blueberries and papaya.
You didn't exactly split an atom there.
Wow, I guess now we know the main ingredient in the deli-icous.
Sour grapes.
Who told you? You guys, okay, look, I won the contest because I worked really hard, and I had the best smoothie.
- Don't forget, you're dating the judge.
- It's not a date.
I'm pretty sure he thinks it's a date.
But I don't like him like that.
You should tell him that When you're on your date.
I can't just hurt someone's feelings like that.
Sure, you can.
It's easy.
Maybe for you, but that's not who I am.
Now what am I supposed to do? I don't wanna just send him the wrong message.
You want us to come along, make it a group thing? I love that idea.
That way, I can send him the right message, and still be nice about it.
I'm in, but, just to be clear, Lindy, this is not a date.
I don't like you like that.
See how easy it is.
If I have to read, at least I have guacamole.
"Now at their native realms the greeks arrived.
" Mmm, Greek food.
I could really go for some falafel.
Instead, I have to read.
Reading makes me feel awful.
Get it? It's like falafel.
Yes, I get it.
I said it.
Get focus! "In exile from his dear paternal coast.
" I would love to live at the coast.
Laying around all day, soakin' up rays.
Oh, man.
Ugh.
This popcorn is disgusting.
Taste it.
Sure, right after you chew the gum off the bottom of my shoe.
The sign says "always popped fresh," but is it? Here we go again.
- Another conspiracy theory.
- What does that mean? This is just like the time you shut down that little kid's lemonade stand.
There were real lemons on that stand, but there was powder mix residue on the bottom of my glass.
I wasn't gonna let her get away with that.
She was five.
Was she, or was she lying about that, too? So, how's business, Cole? Lindy-licious selling? I'm willing to come in and do a smoothie signing.
That's a great idea, but you'd sign the cup, right, not the actual smoothie? That's funny.
Oh, hey, look, my friends are here.
Guys! Are they sitting with us? Yeah, that's cool, isn't it? Um, sure.
The more, the merrier.
This is my friend Garrett, my friend Delia, my friend Jasmine.
You know my friend Cole.
So, new friend Cole, you're in the food industry.
When you're promised something is fresh, shouldn't it be fresh? Well, there are no guarantees, Garrett.
Sometimes, you end up with something you didn't expect.
Garrett, get over it.
They popped the popcorn.
We smelled it when we came in.
That's the decoy popcorn.
They make a batch to get the smell in the air, but then, they sell previously popped popcorn.
You're just being paranoid.
So you're on their side.
Hello, theater goers.
My name is Max.
Please, silence your phones, and refrain from talking during the movie.
Who's that cutie? Where? That geek in the monkey suit is blocking my view.
Without further ado, enjoy the show.
Oh, I'm enjoying the show already.
Hey, Cole, your friend Lindy and I are actually sharing that popcorn.
Do you mind switching seats? Logan? Logan! I'm up! What are you doing? I want you to try this popcorn.
I just woke up.
What game are we playing? We're playing "beat the popcorn scammers.
" The theater said this popcorn's fresh-popped, but it's not.
Oh, no, it's the toilet paper thing all over again.
They said it was soft as a cloud, but it wasn't.
Some people consider it rude to text when they're hanging out with their friends.
Really? Who thinks that? I don't know.
Old people? Did you know that Max, that cute guy from the movie theater, goes to our school? How have I never noticed him before? Maybe because he's never worn a tuxedo to school.
What are you talking about? You're tux crushin', girl.
You think I'm only attracted to him because of what he was wearing? It's called the tuxedo effect.
I've got the same thing for dudes in powdered wigs.
Looking good, Mr.
Washington.
Hey, Cole, I guess you know what I want.
I thought I did, but apparently, I was wrong.
So, what can I getcha? A Lindy-licious.
Yeah.
We don't have that anymore.
But mine was the best.
It had organic blueberries.
You guys are not gonna believe this.
Cole just took my smoothie off the rumble juice menu.
Oh, no.
How are they gonna handle that big bag of angry letter? You brought your friends on a date.
He can kill the Lindy-licious.
But it wasn't a date.
I did the right thing, and I sent the right message.
But none of that should matter.
I won, fair and square.
Did you? Did you really? Hi, Cole.
- Sorry, Lindy, I'm a little busy.
- I know.
I just have a tiny questy about this whole sitchy.
Why exactly is the Lindy-licious off the menu? Turns out it wasn't as sweet as I thought, and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.
Oh.
Ohh! Well Let me tell you something.
You just lost the best drink this place ever had.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna take my plaque.
I don't think so.
What's up, Cole? Lookin' good, my man.
Lookin' good.
Did you just eat my popcorn? - Yeah.
It was terrible.
- Then why did you finish it? Because I promised myself I would finish something today, and there is no way it's gonna be that book.
My chemistry teacher was gonna test it to see when it was popped.
Dude, don't panic.
There's a little left.
I just finished my book report on the odys.
That book is amazing.
How's page two goin' for you? Ha ha ha! Let you know when I get there.
What are you doing? My book report on the odyssey is due in two days.
If I fail, mom and dad are gonna kill me.
I'll have to hide in the blueberry farm under your bed.
So you're stealing Delia's report? I'm not stealing it.
I'm just taking pictures of it before I rewrite it a little worse to make it believable that it was mine.
Okay, a lot worse.
Wow, you really put the low in loganing.
You shouldn't be going through Delia's backpack.
You know how she feels about it.
She calls it her soul with straps.
All this time, I thought that meant her bra.
No, she calls that her bazingy slingy.
What are you doing in my soul with straps? Um, I was borrowing some Lipstick? Yes, because my lips are chapped.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were doing something underhanded and behind my back.
Go ahead, help yourself.
It's cute, but I don't know if the shade goes with your lying face.
You were trying to steal my paper.
If you knew, why'd you make me do this? Because, if you didn't do that, then I couldn't do this.
And send.
Hey, Jasmine, how's it goin'? I'm sorry.
Do I know you? It's me, Max.
Max? From the movies.
Please, silence your phones.
Oh wow! Max.
You look different.
Really different.
The tuxedo effect.
So some people think it's kind of dorky, but I've got two tickets for the symphony Friday night.
Would you like to come? Will you be wearing your tux? Only the conductor wears a tux.
Will you be conducting? Excuse me.
Can I get some popcorn? Oh, you can get some.
I just can't guarantee it's as fresh as we claim.
- When did you get a job here? - I didn't.
If this theater's bringing in stale outside corn and trying to pass it off as freshly popped, I will find it, my friend.
I will find it.
Where'd you get the tuxedo? I took it from the drama department.
I'm the same size as the guy playing great gatsby.
You know they're doin' that play tonight, right? Hello, Daisy, hello, old sport.
Welcome to my fabulous party in west egg, long island, in the 1920's.
So it'll be the not-so-great gatsby.
Hey, you.
Oh, hey.
Lookin' good.
Why haven't you been tuxing me texting me? I didn't think you wanted me to.
Me? No, no, I Definitely wanna hang out.
Okay.
How about in a couple of hours when I get off of work? Okay.
Just, whatever you do, don't change.
- Excuse me? - I mean, you're perfect.
You're Max to the Max.
So, wait, you told Logan that some Greek chick flick called I heart baklava is actually the movie version of the odyssey? Yeah.
He tried to steal my paper.
He's loganing all over the place.
Someone needs to teach that boy a lesson.
But it's a movie about a Greek fisherman who bakes pastries.
Do you really think he's gonna fall for this? This is perfect.
A movie version of the odyssey.
Yes.
I'm sorry again about the whole backpack thing.
No, I overreacted.
You are who you are.
It's not like I can teach you some kind of lesson.
Sh! You guys, it's starting.
The movie's not starting.
The lights are still up.
Hello, theater goers.
My name is Max.
Please, silence your phones, and refrain from talking during the movie.
Without further ado, enjoy the show.
I didn't mean the movie.
I meant the show.
Garrett, what are you doing? Pretending to work here so I can uncover a national pre-popped popcorn scandal.
How about you? Well, I'm gonna give out free samples of the Lindy-licious.
I'm gonna spread the word and prove it to Cole this is the best smoothie ever.
And what is that, a converted cement mixer? It is an industrial blender.
It can make a smoothie out of a car.
You know you're gonna need permission to use that here.
- May I? - Yes, you may.
Well, hello, Lindy.
This is my date, Nancy.
Notice she did not bring any of her friends along.
Well, what's her smoothie called? The ba-Nancy.
You better watch out for this guy.
Today, it's the ba-Nancy.
Tomorrow, it's the scrumptious Sophie, and then, the tasty Tracy.
Don't listen to her, Nancy.
She's not normal.
She's got a fruit farm under her bed.
This is such a good story.
You know what it makes me wanna do? - Read the book? - No.
Eat baklava.
And this main dude is awesome.
He's such a peaceful guy.
Kinda like the whole town he's from.
Yeah, that's allegory.
Al agory.
It's a weird name.
Well, he's a weird guy.
That's why they call it the odd-yssey.
Write that down.
I cannot wait to see the grade you get on this report.
Isn't that a lot of fruit you're putting in there? The movie's letting out soon.
I wanna make sure there's enough for everybody.
Everybody in the galaxy? And isn't that a lot of syrup? That's right, because the Lindy-licious is crazy sweet.
And contrary to certain opinion, it leaves a wonderful taste in your mouth.
You really need to learn to let things go.
Now where is that popcorn? What are you doing? Long story.
See, a year ago, I was a girl with a dream and a couple of blueberry seeds under her bed.
Look, I don't know what this thing is, but Now she works here.
I just hired her.
And who hired you? Well, I'm the new assistant manager, doof head.
Try reading the company newsletter.
- Sorry, sir.
- Well, that's better.
That ice you're skating on is very thin.
Very thin, mister.
Hey, Max, you're looking well-dressed and ready to go.
Yeah, I was thinking maybe we could get a bite to eat and Oh, where are your high heels? Um, not wearing any tonight.
Is that a problem? No, no, no.
Don't be silly.
I don't care what kind of shoes you wear.
Only I just realized I can't go out tonight.
I have a new boss, and he's making me read newsletters.
Did he just blow me off because of my shoes? I don't know.
Maybe there's something called the high heel effect.
Oh, trust me, there is.
Some people can be so shallow.
Garrett, you are looking fine.
Can I get a cold Lindy-licious? - You sure can.
Check it out, people.
This is gonna be big.
It's gonna be everywhere.
Is the smoothie machine supposed to sound like that? Turn it off! Turn it off! - I'm trying.
It's not working.
- Here.
I stopped it.
No, I didn't! Garrett! Stop that thing! Do something, Garrett! Wow, and I thought brain freeze was bad.
Just pull the plug.
Well, I told you Lindy-licious would be everywhere.
I want my pants back right now.
I don't think you do.
What happened here? Well, get some paper towels and clean this up.
Clean it up now! I don't like your attitude, Sonny boy.
Don't forget, I am the assistant manager.
I'm calling the theater owner.
I am getting those paper towels.
Try up there.
I knew it! Freshly popped? Ha! Now would you say this is real butter, or butter flavoring? In summation, the theme of the Odyssey is best illustrated by the heroic greek Baklava Baker, Al Agory, and his true love, the blind milk maid from Thessalonika.
The only thing they heart more than Baklava is each other.
Stupid tuxedo effect.
This is gonna be big.
It's gonna be everywhere.
Is the smoothie machine supposed to sound like that? Turn it off! Turn it off! - I'm trying.
It's not working.
- Here.
I stopped it.
You're nothing but trouble but trouble's what I like Got a whole life to figure it out so why start tonight Just take a picture of me taking a picture of you Making the face that makes me laugh And you start laughing too And when the world looks upside down Just flip the camera the other way around 'Cause this will be the time of our, time of our lives We're taking the world by surprise Hang on it's a crazy ride Yeah, this will be the time of our, time of our lives And even when it don't feel right Know that you're doing just fine 'Cause this is the time of our lives Did they announce it? Did I win, did I win, did I win? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know What you're talking about.
I believe she's referring to the rumble juice create-a-smoothie-contest.
That's right.
The winner gets a smoothie named after them.
How does the Lindy-licious sound? Like you needed more time to come up with a name.
Yeah, the Lindy-licious talk about contrived.
What's your smoothie called, Delia? The deli-icious.
Yeah, that's right.
You're not the only horse in this race.
Please tell me your smoothie doesn't actually have horse in it.
All my ingredients are secret, but vegetarians should probably order something else.
Guys, I really wanna win this contest.
I've been working on this recipe for years.
I only use the finest organic fruit that I grew under my bed with a grow light.
All this time, I thought you were reading comics under your bed.
Finally finished my report on the odyssey.
That book was great.
No wonder they've been reading it for 3,000 years.
- It's the hardest book ever.
- Are you not understanding it? No, it's literally the hardest book ever.
Remind me not to borrow that book when you're done reading it.
Oh, I'm not gonna read it.
I'm totally waiting for the movie.
Look who's loganing again.
Loganing what's that? Being awesome? Not doing work.
- Finding shortcuts.
- Taking the easy way out.
Loganing.
That's ridiculous.
But I'm too lazy to think back if that's true.
Can one of you do it for me? And you mock me for carrying a handkerchief.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the rumble juice create-a-smoothie contest Oh, please, please, please, please, please.
Relax, Lindy.
It's just a meaningless smoothie contest.
The Lindy-licious! I curse this place and all in it.
This is so unexpected.
I would like to thank the good people at organic seeds, and, of course, the makers of the under-the-bed grow lights.
Thank you.
Congratulations, Lindy.
You crushed it.
Good one, 'cause it's a smoothie.
No, you did a really great job.
I'm really happy for you.
You're, like, one of the coolest girls that comes in here.
Well, thank you, Cole.
That's so sweet.
Here's your plaque.
Gosh, I don't need a plaque.
It's about the smoothie.
It's a little crooked.
You know what else is a little crooked? The nose of the actor that stars in brain chompers 4.
I am dying to see that movie.
Me, too.
Do you, uh Wanna go together? We could celebrate your victory.
Sure, why not? This is so exciting.
Lindy-liciouses for everybody! And by everybody, I mean just my friends on the couch.
Make them smalls.
Hey! So, what are we doin' tonight? Oh, I already have plans.
I'm going to see brain chompers 4 - with Cole.
- Cole? You're going on a date with a blendista? It's not a date.
And he's a male, so technically, he's a blendisto.
So the guy who decided your smoothie won the contest asked you on a date.
Are you implying my drink only won because he wanted to go out with me? It was blueberries and papaya.
You didn't exactly split an atom there.
Wow, I guess now we know the main ingredient in the deli-icous.
Sour grapes.
Who told you? You guys, okay, look, I won the contest because I worked really hard, and I had the best smoothie.
- Don't forget, you're dating the judge.
- It's not a date.
I'm pretty sure he thinks it's a date.
But I don't like him like that.
You should tell him that When you're on your date.
I can't just hurt someone's feelings like that.
Sure, you can.
It's easy.
Maybe for you, but that's not who I am.
Now what am I supposed to do? I don't wanna just send him the wrong message.
You want us to come along, make it a group thing? I love that idea.
That way, I can send him the right message, and still be nice about it.
I'm in, but, just to be clear, Lindy, this is not a date.
I don't like you like that.
See how easy it is.
If I have to read, at least I have guacamole.
"Now at their native realms the greeks arrived.
" Mmm, Greek food.
I could really go for some falafel.
Instead, I have to read.
Reading makes me feel awful.
Get it? It's like falafel.
Yes, I get it.
I said it.
Get focus! "In exile from his dear paternal coast.
" I would love to live at the coast.
Laying around all day, soakin' up rays.
Oh, man.
Ugh.
This popcorn is disgusting.
Taste it.
Sure, right after you chew the gum off the bottom of my shoe.
The sign says "always popped fresh," but is it? Here we go again.
- Another conspiracy theory.
- What does that mean? This is just like the time you shut down that little kid's lemonade stand.
There were real lemons on that stand, but there was powder mix residue on the bottom of my glass.
I wasn't gonna let her get away with that.
She was five.
Was she, or was she lying about that, too? So, how's business, Cole? Lindy-licious selling? I'm willing to come in and do a smoothie signing.
That's a great idea, but you'd sign the cup, right, not the actual smoothie? That's funny.
Oh, hey, look, my friends are here.
Guys! Are they sitting with us? Yeah, that's cool, isn't it? Um, sure.
The more, the merrier.
This is my friend Garrett, my friend Delia, my friend Jasmine.
You know my friend Cole.
So, new friend Cole, you're in the food industry.
When you're promised something is fresh, shouldn't it be fresh? Well, there are no guarantees, Garrett.
Sometimes, you end up with something you didn't expect.
Garrett, get over it.
They popped the popcorn.
We smelled it when we came in.
That's the decoy popcorn.
They make a batch to get the smell in the air, but then, they sell previously popped popcorn.
You're just being paranoid.
So you're on their side.
Hello, theater goers.
My name is Max.
Please, silence your phones, and refrain from talking during the movie.
Who's that cutie? Where? That geek in the monkey suit is blocking my view.
Without further ado, enjoy the show.
Oh, I'm enjoying the show already.
Hey, Cole, your friend Lindy and I are actually sharing that popcorn.
Do you mind switching seats? Logan? Logan! I'm up! What are you doing? I want you to try this popcorn.
I just woke up.
What game are we playing? We're playing "beat the popcorn scammers.
" The theater said this popcorn's fresh-popped, but it's not.
Oh, no, it's the toilet paper thing all over again.
They said it was soft as a cloud, but it wasn't.
Some people consider it rude to text when they're hanging out with their friends.
Really? Who thinks that? I don't know.
Old people? Did you know that Max, that cute guy from the movie theater, goes to our school? How have I never noticed him before? Maybe because he's never worn a tuxedo to school.
What are you talking about? You're tux crushin', girl.
You think I'm only attracted to him because of what he was wearing? It's called the tuxedo effect.
I've got the same thing for dudes in powdered wigs.
Looking good, Mr.
Washington.
Hey, Cole, I guess you know what I want.
I thought I did, but apparently, I was wrong.
So, what can I getcha? A Lindy-licious.
Yeah.
We don't have that anymore.
But mine was the best.
It had organic blueberries.
You guys are not gonna believe this.
Cole just took my smoothie off the rumble juice menu.
Oh, no.
How are they gonna handle that big bag of angry letter? You brought your friends on a date.
He can kill the Lindy-licious.
But it wasn't a date.
I did the right thing, and I sent the right message.
But none of that should matter.
I won, fair and square.
Did you? Did you really? Hi, Cole.
- Sorry, Lindy, I'm a little busy.
- I know.
I just have a tiny questy about this whole sitchy.
Why exactly is the Lindy-licious off the menu? Turns out it wasn't as sweet as I thought, and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.
Oh.
Ohh! Well Let me tell you something.
You just lost the best drink this place ever had.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna take my plaque.
I don't think so.
What's up, Cole? Lookin' good, my man.
Lookin' good.
Did you just eat my popcorn? - Yeah.
It was terrible.
- Then why did you finish it? Because I promised myself I would finish something today, and there is no way it's gonna be that book.
My chemistry teacher was gonna test it to see when it was popped.
Dude, don't panic.
There's a little left.
I just finished my book report on the odys.
That book is amazing.
How's page two goin' for you? Ha ha ha! Let you know when I get there.
What are you doing? My book report on the odyssey is due in two days.
If I fail, mom and dad are gonna kill me.
I'll have to hide in the blueberry farm under your bed.
So you're stealing Delia's report? I'm not stealing it.
I'm just taking pictures of it before I rewrite it a little worse to make it believable that it was mine.
Okay, a lot worse.
Wow, you really put the low in loganing.
You shouldn't be going through Delia's backpack.
You know how she feels about it.
She calls it her soul with straps.
All this time, I thought that meant her bra.
No, she calls that her bazingy slingy.
What are you doing in my soul with straps? Um, I was borrowing some Lipstick? Yes, because my lips are chapped.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were doing something underhanded and behind my back.
Go ahead, help yourself.
It's cute, but I don't know if the shade goes with your lying face.
You were trying to steal my paper.
If you knew, why'd you make me do this? Because, if you didn't do that, then I couldn't do this.
And send.
Hey, Jasmine, how's it goin'? I'm sorry.
Do I know you? It's me, Max.
Max? From the movies.
Please, silence your phones.
Oh wow! Max.
You look different.
Really different.
The tuxedo effect.
So some people think it's kind of dorky, but I've got two tickets for the symphony Friday night.
Would you like to come? Will you be wearing your tux? Only the conductor wears a tux.
Will you be conducting? Excuse me.
Can I get some popcorn? Oh, you can get some.
I just can't guarantee it's as fresh as we claim.
- When did you get a job here? - I didn't.
If this theater's bringing in stale outside corn and trying to pass it off as freshly popped, I will find it, my friend.
I will find it.
Where'd you get the tuxedo? I took it from the drama department.
I'm the same size as the guy playing great gatsby.
You know they're doin' that play tonight, right? Hello, Daisy, hello, old sport.
Welcome to my fabulous party in west egg, long island, in the 1920's.
So it'll be the not-so-great gatsby.
Hey, you.
Oh, hey.
Lookin' good.
Why haven't you been tuxing me texting me? I didn't think you wanted me to.
Me? No, no, I Definitely wanna hang out.
Okay.
How about in a couple of hours when I get off of work? Okay.
Just, whatever you do, don't change.
- Excuse me? - I mean, you're perfect.
You're Max to the Max.
So, wait, you told Logan that some Greek chick flick called I heart baklava is actually the movie version of the odyssey? Yeah.
He tried to steal my paper.
He's loganing all over the place.
Someone needs to teach that boy a lesson.
But it's a movie about a Greek fisherman who bakes pastries.
Do you really think he's gonna fall for this? This is perfect.
A movie version of the odyssey.
Yes.
I'm sorry again about the whole backpack thing.
No, I overreacted.
You are who you are.
It's not like I can teach you some kind of lesson.
Sh! You guys, it's starting.
The movie's not starting.
The lights are still up.
Hello, theater goers.
My name is Max.
Please, silence your phones, and refrain from talking during the movie.
Without further ado, enjoy the show.
I didn't mean the movie.
I meant the show.
Garrett, what are you doing? Pretending to work here so I can uncover a national pre-popped popcorn scandal.
How about you? Well, I'm gonna give out free samples of the Lindy-licious.
I'm gonna spread the word and prove it to Cole this is the best smoothie ever.
And what is that, a converted cement mixer? It is an industrial blender.
It can make a smoothie out of a car.
You know you're gonna need permission to use that here.
- May I? - Yes, you may.
Well, hello, Lindy.
This is my date, Nancy.
Notice she did not bring any of her friends along.
Well, what's her smoothie called? The ba-Nancy.
You better watch out for this guy.
Today, it's the ba-Nancy.
Tomorrow, it's the scrumptious Sophie, and then, the tasty Tracy.
Don't listen to her, Nancy.
She's not normal.
She's got a fruit farm under her bed.
This is such a good story.
You know what it makes me wanna do? - Read the book? - No.
Eat baklava.
And this main dude is awesome.
He's such a peaceful guy.
Kinda like the whole town he's from.
Yeah, that's allegory.
Al agory.
It's a weird name.
Well, he's a weird guy.
That's why they call it the odd-yssey.
Write that down.
I cannot wait to see the grade you get on this report.
Isn't that a lot of fruit you're putting in there? The movie's letting out soon.
I wanna make sure there's enough for everybody.
Everybody in the galaxy? And isn't that a lot of syrup? That's right, because the Lindy-licious is crazy sweet.
And contrary to certain opinion, it leaves a wonderful taste in your mouth.
You really need to learn to let things go.
Now where is that popcorn? What are you doing? Long story.
See, a year ago, I was a girl with a dream and a couple of blueberry seeds under her bed.
Look, I don't know what this thing is, but Now she works here.
I just hired her.
And who hired you? Well, I'm the new assistant manager, doof head.
Try reading the company newsletter.
- Sorry, sir.
- Well, that's better.
That ice you're skating on is very thin.
Very thin, mister.
Hey, Max, you're looking well-dressed and ready to go.
Yeah, I was thinking maybe we could get a bite to eat and Oh, where are your high heels? Um, not wearing any tonight.
Is that a problem? No, no, no.
Don't be silly.
I don't care what kind of shoes you wear.
Only I just realized I can't go out tonight.
I have a new boss, and he's making me read newsletters.
Did he just blow me off because of my shoes? I don't know.
Maybe there's something called the high heel effect.
Oh, trust me, there is.
Some people can be so shallow.
Garrett, you are looking fine.
Can I get a cold Lindy-licious? - You sure can.
Check it out, people.
This is gonna be big.
It's gonna be everywhere.
Is the smoothie machine supposed to sound like that? Turn it off! Turn it off! - I'm trying.
It's not working.
- Here.
I stopped it.
No, I didn't! Garrett! Stop that thing! Do something, Garrett! Wow, and I thought brain freeze was bad.
Just pull the plug.
Well, I told you Lindy-licious would be everywhere.
I want my pants back right now.
I don't think you do.
What happened here? Well, get some paper towels and clean this up.
Clean it up now! I don't like your attitude, Sonny boy.
Don't forget, I am the assistant manager.
I'm calling the theater owner.
I am getting those paper towels.
Try up there.
I knew it! Freshly popped? Ha! Now would you say this is real butter, or butter flavoring? In summation, the theme of the Odyssey is best illustrated by the heroic greek Baklava Baker, Al Agory, and his true love, the blind milk maid from Thessalonika.
The only thing they heart more than Baklava is each other.
Stupid tuxedo effect.