Last Days of the Space Age (2024) s01e06 Episode Script

1
TILLY: Grandad?
- What's going on?
- EILEEN: Nothing.
Can't bloody see Saturn anyway.
(GASPS) What if somebody saw this
bloody thing move and looked inside?
We found Van,
he's in a refugee camp in Malaysia.
BOB: There's a
Malaysian bloke I know of.
He may be able to help,
but he'll charge you.
Bloody hell.
I need a doctor.
- Do you know one?
- Of course.
I think I'm pregnant.
They didn't give a shit about us
when they exposed us to nuclear fallout
with those tests.
I've never talked about that to anyone
and I'm not gonna start now.
JUDY: I don't know what to do about Mia.
- What would you do differently?
- Nothing.
You're perfect.
I know you're the man
to make this good as new.
It's the biggest badge of honour
I've ever seen.
My board, I get first ride.
- (GRUNTS)
- (WAVES CRASHING)
Grandad!
Please, someone help!
Please! (SOBS)
(SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING)
No pacemaker?
The watch. I'm not sure
if that is wind-up or battery.
Stopped. Wind-up.
Oh, we can just put it back on then.
- You sure?
- Of course.
No.
You can leave the ring.
Just
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Nan?
Whitefellas.
They bury their dead too soon.
- Help me understand.
- Coronation chicken.
It's Grandad's favourite
from when they crowned the Queen.
Well, I reckon we should send them
back to the Queen. (CHUCKLES)
You know what? I've been thinking.
Maybe we should send
Dad's ashes back to England too.
- Hmm?
- TILLY: Mm
Oh
- (CLEARS THROAT) These aren't cold.
- Yeah, that's how he liked them.
Mum was just asking
what we should do with Grandad?
- Like, post him to London maybe?
- Fire him out of a cannon.
I dunno. (SIGHS) Start a plot here?
Yeah. Well, maybe we should
have one here and one in the UK.
What about something in between?
- Like, um like at sea?
- All right.
TILLY:
Mia could do it on her board.
You know what? That's a good idea.
Dad loved the ocean.
No. No way, not me.
(SIGHS)
(SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING)
- Jude.
- (EXHALES DEEPLY)
(EILEEN SNIFFLES, SIGHS)
How are you holding up?
(SCOFFS) I'm fine.
He, uh Bob, he
Yeah, you know, he had a
he had a good life
when you think about it.
I should be thankful. (BREATHES DEEPLY)
It's just, after Mum died,
he never really had anyone, you know?
It would have been nice if he found
love again. (BREATHES DEEPLY)
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Oh, I'm sorry, Eileen.
Can you just take care of these?
I'm gonna take these out.
- (SNIFFLES)
- (MUSIC FADES)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER STEREO)
I brought a friend.
You remember "Sam"?
- Mm-hmm.
- Sambuca.
- (FRANCESCA SIGHS)
- (SIGHS)
(SIGHS) Takes a while to sink in. Grief.
When I lost Frank,
I thought it would never stop hurting.
It does get better though, right?
Not really.
Still, got us out of the office.
Not me. No, I'm still obsessed.
I'm thinking,
"What the hell is Wayne up to?"
Stubborn as he is stupid as he is suss.
- So, this is where the party is?
- (CHUCKLES)
Yeah, let me introduce you
to my brother-in-law, Mick.
He's the entrepreneur of our family.
- Well, nice to meet you, Mr Entrepreneur.
- (CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) You know, I did try
and make it work with Tony.
- But I'm sure you can imagine.
- I fired Tony way before you ever did.
(SIGHS) What? So you're on your way out?
- Yeah, my ride's waiting.
- Russell?
(CLICKS TONGUE)
Why don't you invite him in?
- You know he's welcome here.
- By you.
You know you got this thing, right?
Everyone's feeling lost and then you,
you do this thing. You take control.
Get out of here.
- I rest my case.
- (CHUCKLES)
MICK: Excuse me, mate.
Don't get me wrong (EXHALES)
your family's great and everything,
but, fuck I hate crowds
and RSLs and uniforms.
It's not a bad look on you though.
- Oh, bugger off. I'm suffocating.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Well, see you.
- No, no. Not yet.
- I'm not finished with you.
- MIA: Spider, I have to get back.
(GROANS)
There she is.
Not gonna win any beauty competitions.
Thanks, Spider. (CHUCKLES)
After all this, let's
head out for a surf.
Not now. Not yet.
- Well, don't wait too long.
- (MIA CHUCKLES)
First it's a week, then it's months.
Next thing you know, it's years.
Next time you see
a big fuck-off wave out there,
you go for it, yeah?
You just breathe in, you go with it.
Bless Bob for fixing
your board and everything,
but he didn't have to do that.
Like I said.
Badge of honour.
Go on.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- Old Bob, eh?
- TONY: Gazza.
A reminder the reaper
is coming for us all.
Guess my father-in-law had to cark it
before you showed your face.
Mate, club's closed. Private function.
(SIGHS) I know. I'm here two more days,
if we don't talk (COUGHS)
(CONTINUES COUGHING)
- (TONY CLEARS THROAT)
- (COUGHS)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
- That's what they did to us.
- Yeah, he's just leaving.
Time to go, mate.
You haven't told her yet, have you?
- Listen, George.
- (GROANS)
Fucking hell.
(BREATHES DEEPLY) If you're
not sick yet, you bloody owe it to us.
You okay, mate?
- TONY: Hey.
- Hey, just leave it leave it, Tony.
- (BREATHES DEEPLY)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(MICK SIGHS)
(SCOFFS)
- (DOOR OPENING, SHUTTING)
- (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Not sure warm beer and Pommie sandwiches
went down so well.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
What was that scene earlier?
You assaulted a sick man
in front of our family and friends.
He was saying stuff about Bob.
And I didn't push him, he fell.
Like what?
Don't know. He he said
Bob owed him money.
He was here to collect.
It seemed like he knew you, not Dad.
Look, he was hanging crap on Bob,
and it pissed me off, okay?
Sweetie, what's going on?
I told you. Nothing.
Fine.
- Where are you going?
- To the office.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
Great.
(CARAVAN DOOR SLAMMING)
(SLAMMING CONTINUES)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(DOOR SHUTTING)
(SIGHS) Miss Kulkova,
sorry about the wait.
The lab can be slow this time of night.
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
- So, you're pregnant!
Fantastic!
Um, congratulations.
Uh. I I estimate 16 weeks.
So, you're in good shape.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
- (CHUCKLES)
- (CHUCKLES)
Thank you.
- We are very happy. (CHUCKLES)
- (CHUCKLES) Good.
Okay. Well, I just have to lock up.
So, you can let yourselves out.
I'll see you in, say, six weeks.
- Thank you, mate. We appreciate it.
- DOCTOR: Pleasure.
Yvgeny, the officials.
Nobody wants this.
What do you want?
What do I want? It doesn't matter.
They they they won't have a pregnant
Miss Soviet Union embarrassing the nation.
And the father?
He's a shit.
(EXHALES)
I mean, you've seen
what they make me wear?
Those dresses.
They make them for me weeks ago,
back home.
I won't fit into them now
and they will put me back on the plane.
We will work something out.
(SMACKS LIPS) I need a drink.
(CARAVAN DOOR SLAMMING)
- (CARAVAN DOOR SLAMMING)
- (GASPS)
(GASPS, PANTS)
You too?
It's so loud.
Let's go to sleep, eh?
I just need a minute.
(SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(SIGHS)
(BLOWS)
(GATE SLAMMING)
- (SLAMMING CONTINUES)
- (SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
Come on, Bob.
Let me get some sleep.
(SLAMMING CONTINUES)
(SIGHS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS, SNIFFLES)
(SIGHS)
He hated those bloody royals.
You look tired, Nan.
- Yeah. Thanks to Bob.
- (CHUCKLES)
Least you know he still likes you.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
(SNIFFLES)
You know what to do.
Nan Doris can help.
Yeah. I know.
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER)
(SPEAKING VIETNAMESE)
Ah, your dinner, two more minutes.
Tell your dad I put extra scallop.
No charge.
Thanks, Mr Bui. You are busy!
We're gas powered!
No strike stops us! Huh? (CHUCKLES)
Homework?
Jono said you used to be a professor.
- Engineering.
- TILLY: Really?
Well, I'm trying to work out
where Skylab will crash.
Is there is there any chance
you could take a look at it?
Why you do like a physics problem?
It is a physics problem.
Why not a linear regression?
(SCOFFS) Troi oi.
Don't listen to this one!
He thinks everything
is linear regression!
Lam, where's the spoon
to stir the coffee?
"Linear regression!"
(IN VIETNAMESE)
Gauss looked into the sky.
Knew there was another planet,
even though no one had seen it.
He didn't have a calculator.
It's not maths. It's statistics.
How how do I
how do I do it for Skylab?
Ah. Okay. (CHUCKLES)
Now
X. Y. Start easy. Just two dimensions.
You open?
Open. Always open.
No one goes hungry, my friend.
(LYDIA PANTS)
Oh Hi. (PANTS)
- Svetlana?
- Is busy.
I have just climbed
six flights of stairs. (PANTS)
We have some concerns
about Svetlana's figure.
Her weight.
Is job for wardrobe department.
(PANTS)
What did she want?
(EXHALES)
Western life make you soft.
If you lose, is bad for us.
- What?
- You eat what I say. Exercise when I say.
No, no, no.
We just have to keep Lydia happy.
I will take care of her.
But we must handle it well.
They will be watching at home, yes?
Help me win her over. Hmm?
It's not a beauty pageant,
it's a popularity contest.
In academy, I was top practitioner
in coercive interrogation.
No, no, no.
Don't don't scare her. Just
charm her.
I take her to lunch. I will
flirt with her. She will like this.
You will win and receive a hero's medal.
I will go home
and Niki will come back, too.
- Hmm.
- (YVGENY SIGHS)
(SMACKS LIPS)
Now I have to find Bob's
"Malaysian bloke."
- Huh?
- He knows someone at the refugee camp.
Bob gave him our
money. He's in Bayswater.
- Bayswater? Mr. Teo!
- Hmm.
Mr Teo?
(SIGHS) His smile is so big.
Looks caring like an uncle.
Like the men who tell you to raise
quails. Promises you the world.
So, you know where he is?
Mm-mm. He's a liar, a crook.
Says anything to take your money.
Always say, "Working on it, lah."
If you ask for your money back,
say he'll report you.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sorry.
You okay, em?
So, to minimize error,
you take the first derivative
and you set it to zero?
Don't minimize error!
Positives and negatives cancel.
Square the residual. See?
(CHUCKLES)
You don't miss being a professor?
I lost a lot more than just my job.
- Yeah, you lost the spoon for my coffee!
- (LAM SPEAKING VIETNAMESE)
- (SIGHS)
- (SPEAKS VIETNAMESE)
But to calculate it, you need data.
- TILLY: Hmm.
- Thirty points, or you can't do it.
- You reckon that's enough?
- (CHUCKLES) All right.
- (TILLY CHUCKLES)
- Okay.
- And start there, see.
- Okay, another one. Thirty.
(LYDIA LAUGHING)
You know, you're different
from the tough guy image everyone sees.
You care for these girls like
like they are your daughters.
My first commandant.
He'd make us stand outside
in the winter.
Siberia.
No gloves.
If you got frostbite,
he'd remove the finger himself.
- Personally.
- (BREATHES DEEPLY)
You love these girls like this, no?
(CHUCKLES)
You have daughters? A wife?
My wife?
Cancer. I have a son,
Nikita. Niki. (CHUCKLES)
- In the Army.
- It's a hard life there?
Life can he hard anywhere, no?
But we know
how to drink properly. (CHUCKLES)
- (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS) Oh!
- (LAUGHS)
- (YVGENY LAUGHS)
(CHUCKLES)
Well, as a former Miss Adelaide
- YVGENY: Oh?
- I know how to bend the elbow.
- (CHUCKLES)
- "Bend the elbow"?
- (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS)
Especially with a
handsome foreign agent.
Hmm.
So Svetlana will win, yes?
Miss Universe has standards.
Svetlana has to take care
of her weight, now.
Otherwise, I won't let her on my stage.
I will take care of Svetlana.
(CHUCKLES) This is not a problem.
Let us enjoy "bending the elbow."
- Hmm.
- (YVGENY CHUCKLES)
(GLASSES CLINK)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(ROTARY DIAL SPINNING)
AUTOMATED VOICE: Hello, you've reached
Mt. Lawley Family Planning Centre.
We're sorry, we can't take your call
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(IN RUSSIAN)
(DORIS CHANTING PRAYERS)
(CHANTS PRAYERS)
- (DORIS CONTINUES CHANTING)
- Not yet.
You ready, Eileen?
(BREATHES DEEPLY) All right.
(RESUMES CHANTING)
See you, Bob.
I'll catch you on the flip side.
(CHANTS PRAYERS)
Nice smell, eh?
- (DORIS CHANTING PRAYERS)
- We're helping your dad move on.
- Huh?
- He's been visiting Nan for days.
Visiting Eileen?
- Yeah.
- (DORIS CONTINUES CHANTING)
(SIGHS)
- Skylab is gonna crash right here!
- Is this on the news?
- Linear regression. Lam showed me.
- So, he's still open?
Yeah, he's not relying on you
to keep him powered.
- He's actually never been busier.
- Listen, Lam makes a great fish and chips,
but you gotta consult with the experts.
- What about CSIRO, NASA
- We did the calculations, Mum!
Even a tiny piece
could crush our whole house.
Okay, sometimes,
terrible things happen, Tilly.
And
- calculations just cannot change that.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Dad! Skylab is going to crash right here!
- What? Tilly
We have to tell everyone.
The CSIRO. Everyone!
She's all you.
(SIGHS) What?
Spreading news of doom and disaster?
- Jude
- JUDY: I I mean (SIGHS) I've
The power's been out.
It's been out for days.
I've tried everything.
Now I'm still dealing
with Dad's stuff. And then
TONY: Well, let me sort this.
Why don't you take a break?
Because I'm I'm fine. (SCOFFS)
I'm fine. (SIGHS)
Judy.
I feel like you're the only one
who hasn't taken the time to grieve.
(SIGHS)
Who was that at the wake?
Jude, I was an idiot, all right?
I'm I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Tony, why don't you just tell me? Hmm?
What's going on? Really.
(EXHALES) What's going on, really,
is that I'm looking for some candles,
so this thing doesn't go dead, all
right? So, let me just (CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS) Jude
(SIGHS)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(SIGHS)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(DOG BARKING)
It's so early.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)
The tow truck's coming today.
No, you can't get rid of this.
- (GROANS) Mia
- No. It can't all go today.
The caravan, his ashes.
- (CLICKS TONGUE) Aw, Mia.
- (BREATHES DEEPLY)
I'm sorry, Mum.
I know Grandad would've wanted me to,
but I just don't think I can.
Sweetheart, nobody's asking you to.
I just don't think I'm ready.
You know what?
I think this belongs to you.
I once asked Grandad if he ever imagined
what things would've been like
if we'd never left England.
You know what he said?
"Never. I'd be freezing
my tits off." (CHUCKLES)
- (CHUCKLES)
- He did. (CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES) And
"There'd be no Mia."
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Maybe I should.
(SNIFFLES)
But the caravan stays. My inheritance.
(CHUCKLES) And his old towel,
I'll keep that.
(DOOR OPENING)
- (DOOR SHUTTING)
- Eileen?
Eileen.
Uh.
We're having a a thing
for Dad this afternoon.
Just for loved ones and family.
Okay. (SIGHS)
I'd love it if you were there.
(SIGHS) You should be there.
- I don't mean to, um
- Jude. (SOBS)
(SOBS)
(SNIFFLES) Thank you.
Thank you for loving him.
(CHUCKLES) I just think
we could've had (SNIFFLES)
- all those Christmases together.
- (EILEEN CHUCKLES)
(SNIFFLES)
I wanted to tell you, I did. (SIGHS)
It wasn't meant to be a secret.
(SIGHS) You don't owe me an explanation.
I didn't know what we were
until now.
And now, it's too late.
(WAVES CRASHING)
- (JUDY BREATHES DEEPLY)
- (WIND HOWLING)
(EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
(SNIFFLES)
(SOBS)
(SOBS)
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)