Little Dog (2018) s01e06 Episode Script

1 (LOWLY JUNIOR): Previously on Little Dog - So, Tommy was bonding with Dad in jail.
- Oh! - Training, pep talks.
- Tasting your spunk now! - But it's Mom to the rescue, as usual.
- Me.
And me too, since it was my line of credit that bailed him out.
He needs to be supervised by a family member at all times.
- Rico Havoc's reputation suffers a blow.
- PERVERT! Tommy invites the good Dr.
Vaani to our family's Regatta Day dinner.
All hell broke loose when Tommy tried to tell me that the granny pickle was really - It's a fuckin' onion.
- Mom! Can't expect the family to go out in public without making a holy show of themselves.
- (COUGHING) - Are you all right? Here, look.
Have a go.
I'm always scared of choking to death alone.
What a living hell! - A living hell! - Well, sure you're not alone, Renee.
Well, I am, since old Brandy passed.
- We can get you a new little doggy.
- Oh, no.
Pissing and shitting everywhere.
Plus, I'm not gonna be around long enough to enjoy it, God willing.
Quit saying that.
- You can't leave me.
You're all I got.
- Huh! Here.
Give me.
I says a novena for you every night, you know.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That you'll find someone - who'll look after you.
- That's nice.
- Thank you, Rens.
- I'm sure nobody will.
- (SIGHING HEAVILY) - And then I pray that you'll have enough money to put yourself up in a better place than this shithole.
You know, if you loved me so much, you would have put me in that nice, fancy rest home for my dying days.
- You said you didn't want to go.
- Well, of course I said that! - It's expensive.
- (SIGHING HEAVILY) - I'm not a burden to my family.
- No.
- Here.
- If I had my time back, I'd have spent all my energy looking after myself, and I'd tell the rest of you to fuck off.
Yeah.
- That must be where I get that from.
- Oh Here.
Here.
Give it to me.
- Oh, hurry on now! - Chin! Chin! - I want to get down to the bingo early.
- Come on.
That old Gander Bay whore, Nancy, steals all the good bingo blotters.
Yeah, she's a whore, that Nancy.
What is she, 97? (THEME MUSIC) I don't know if everybody's been following Tommy Ross's social feeds, but he's come far in only four weeks, and the welterweight weigh-in is tonight.
Tell us what you think, caller.
You've received a collect call from: Loyola Ross Senior.
Say yes.
- Tommy? Where you going? - Uh, can we? All right! Yes.
We've got Tommy Ross' dad on the line.
What do you have to say, sir? I'd say that Rico Havoc should take as many pictures of his face as he can before the fight.
His reconstructive surgeon's gonna need 'em.
But Mr.
Ross, you must remember what happened 5 years ago? Some might say you've had time to reflect on that and little else.
At my parole hearing today, I'll be detailing how important it is that I be ringside to coach Tommy into a Rico-creaming fight.
Hey! I just heard your old man on the radio.
- He's gettin' out soon.
- Just in time to take all the credit for Tommy's progress, never mind that I'm the one sitting here with him, - day in, day out.
- Yeah.
You could say it'll be all Tommy and Daddy.
- Daddy and Tommy.
- Certainly no glory for me here.
- Tucker, we should get Mom singing.
- Singing what? The ode.
You ever hear her sing the ode? Mom, you don't wanna go singing at no boxing show.
Look, I'll plan something for your sometime at a later date, You know, something real nice.
I could probably pull a couple of strings, you know.
- Get something for the event.
- Are you serious? Yeah, she'd be great.
Oh! I am so happy! Dad get out of jail, call him to the arena, hear you singin', see me fightin'? He'd be in heaven! Heaven! - Arsehole.
- Stop it, Lowly! Let your brother do something nice for me for a minute.
Oh, yeah.
Woo! Lowly Senior's out of the can.
Tommy Ross, together with his old trainer again.
Sylvia who? - (A GROUP TOGETHER): We own our own assholes.
- That's right, Jean.
Stay angry.
I need you to stay angry.
What do we do when people expect us to do stuff we don't wanna do? - (ALL): We own our own assholes! - Yes! Oh! I think you guys are finally assholes! - (ALL): And so are you! - Woo! All right! Well done! Well done.
Wonderful, wonderful work today.
Ah.
God, I'm good at this shit.
So this is how you've been spending our money, huh? Um I just I think it's helping me.
I think it's worth it.
Rico, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you just gonna let her talk to you like that? Ahem.
Pamela, it's my money and it's none of your business how I spend it.
I think it is my business.
- I manage our money, remember? - The money that you earned! - Money I earned! - Ha! Who does she think she is? She thinks she's better than everyone: better than you, - better than Rico.
Better than me.
- Yeah.
Yeah, you think you're better than everyone, like me, Rico, and her.
And you tell her that you can't for the life of you figure out why she thinks she can just show up - back in town like nothing ever happened.
- Yeah! - You can't for the life of you figure out - And be welcomed with open arms.
'Cause it's not just Tommy she screwed over.
It was also her so-called best friend.
Yeah! - You screwed Tommy and your best friend! - To get to be with you, Rico.
Yeah! To be with you! (SIGHING) (SIGHING) - I mean, seriously, what were you thinking? - I don't know.
What's happening, guys? I just jumped off a sinking ship onto the first raft I could find.
I'm confused.
We're losing our focus.
- Where is our anger? - This isn't about you anymore.
Oh, my God.
(BUZZING) (DOOR LOCKING) Sylvia Ross.
God.
You look just radiant.
So, are you here to tell me that I can't come home? Or are you here to tell me that I can? If you think you can just walk back in - like nothing's changed - I'm changed, though.
I promise you, I am gonna be a better man from now on.
Ha ha! If I had a nickel for every time you said that I am a better man! I would have a boatload full of useless nickels that I'd have to get someone else to haul away anyway, - so thank God I don't.
- Or you could roll 'em, bring 'em down to the bank.
- 25 nickels, you got yourself a dollar! - 20.
A little coming home present for you.
Read Revelations.
(GASPING) Have you checked the odds? Tommy's favoured to win.
That's ridiculous.
A bullshit arrest and a smear campaign on the opposition, all of a sudden a pack-a-day drunkard can win? Are people stupid or what? (DOOR CLOSING) Spam.
Take a powder.
I gotta spend a little bit of time with my compadre.
So Tommy, - how's she going? Huh? - Good.
Yeah.
The tide is really starting to turn.
- I think so.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, in the old days, Tommy, people used to grind up lobster and use it as fertilizer on their garden? They were called the cockroaches of the sea.
If you got one in your net, you just ground it up and put it in the compost heap.
Now, people spend $20 per pound to eat fertilizer for dinner.
You see? Heh.
It was just a a genius bit of re-branding, kind of like - Well, kind of like you.
- So I was a cockroach, - and now I'm a lobster.
- Yeah.
My lobster.
- All right.
- But we can't forget that lobster is still fertilizer and does, at its best, it helps other things to grow.
Yeah.
See, everybody's bettin' on you to win, but if I put my money on Rico and you don't win, then I get a big haul.
Get me? Yeah, I'm f I'm fertilizer.
Yeah, and if you don't wanna end up scattered all over my potato garden, you will go down in the 5th.
(TENSE MUSIC) (BIRDS CHIRPING) Oh! Hi, Mrs.
Ross.
Hi, guys.
Have you seen Tommy? I'm actually waiting to speak with him.
- Do you know if he'll be here soon? - Oh, I'm sure he's in there already.
Oh.
Thanks.
He needs to stay focused on his goals.
He has no time for women.
You know the story.
My ex Milo has agreed to drop the charges - if Tommy'll just apologize.
- Milo's a dog's name.
I can't see Tommy apologizing to a man named after a dog.
No charges also means no more bail conditions.
No more surety.
You'd be off the hook.
No one's happier than I am about that.
I'll pass on the message.
Thank you.
We'll keep this to ourselves for now, all right? Tommy's making great progress - because I have him on a short leash.
- OK.
Oh! There you are.
Come on! All right! First up to the scales, our hometown boy, Tommy "Little Dog" Ross! (ROCK MUSIC) Come on, man! (WHISTLING) Now, please welcome Rico "Havoc" Saint George! The fam migrated to the North I'm 'a put you on what it's about The regular routes and shanty towns (BOOING AND CHEERING) (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) (PERSON BARKING) (BOOING) Woo! Psst! Who are you? Oh Rico'd remember better if you turn around, and you're scurrying away.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who's the big man? You the big man? You the big man now? Huh? First up to the scales, our Eastern beast.
(CAMERAS CLICKING) Tommy Ross, 142 pounds.
(CHEERING AND WHISTLING) Next up to the scale is Rico "Havoc" Saint George! (BOOING) Rico Saint George, 148 pounds.
That's one pound over.
If you're not down to 147 pounds in 45 minutes, your insurance contract's cut and so is this fight.
OK, folks.
We've got a situation here.
Rico needs to lose 1 pound in 45 minutes - or this fight is history! - Go puke! (MAN): Fatso! (MARTIAL-STYLE MUSIC) Tss! Tss! Tss! Tss! Tss! Tss! Mm! (LIPS SMACKING) That's juicy, man.
It's salty.
- What the hell? - Sorry, did you want some? I got plenty.
More than enough to go around! Enough of this.
Enough of this.
You know you don't want this.
I know this is what you want.
This is your way out, man! Here - have some wiener.
- Get off! Come on! OK, you know what? Eat it! Ah! Eat it! (BOTH GRUNTING) (INDISTINCT YELLING) (TOMMY LAUGHING) (BOTH GRUNTING) OK! OK.
I got food issues.
Hey man, I got food issues.
Oh, yeah.
I put the work in, put the work in, and then I blow it all out for a double cheeseburger.
- With bacon? - (WHISPERING): Bacon.
(TENSE MUSIC) (BOTH GRUNTING) Is that what you want? That's what you want! That's what you want! TAKE IT! (RICO GROANING) 10 minute warning.
If he doesn't lose that weight, - we lose our shirt, right? - Yeah.
He'll lose that weight.
Them fighters, they got they got tricks.
Uh-huh.
Speaking of us ahem, losing our shirts.
I was thinking about letting you in on a little action, because we've always been close, haven't we? Well friends, yeah.
Sometimes, a little bit closer than you know, friends.
Yeah, uh, family even.
Yeah.
I was gonna let you in on a little tip, but uh never mind now.
Is it that Tommy's throwing the fight? - How do you know? - How else would you make money? Don't worry.
No one else will know.
Yeah.
They better not.
This fight is never gonna happen.
There's no way that Rico can louse a pound in half an hour.
Well, Mom'll be livid.
- I thought she didn't want him to fight.
- Are you kidding? She's dying to soak up Tommy's spotlight.
He could have those charges dropped too if he'd only apologize, but we're not allowed to tell him that 'cause Mom has him on a leash and that way, she'll get to be the centre of attention.
- I miss your mother.
- Yeah, huh? Aww.
Did Rico name his wiener after Mohammed Ali and you got a tattoo to celebrate it? It's just It's an ancient Roman name.
I like it.
- Jesus! - Mom, finish up your joint and come on.
- We're gonna be late.
- OK.
Rico to the scales, please.
146.
9.
- (CHEERING) - All right, folks! Looks like this fight is on tomorrow at the arena.
We'll see you all there.
Wow.
1.
1 pounds, Rico.
- How'd you do it? - By lifting up my leg and pissing all over the little dog.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) (SIGHING) Can I get another, please? I think you've had enough, Tommy.
- I'm drinking water, man.
- I know, for several hours now.
And you're not tipping either.
Time was the tell-tale friend of All of our fate What do you want? - Time was I'd look in the mirror - Can you just Can you look at me for a second? See your face Ahem.
There's, um There's a lot of stuff you don't know - about the last five years - Listen.
Listen.
I don't wanna hear about how hard it's been for Pamela with that guy.
OK? Spare me.
OK.
We can talk about you.
Why did you walk out of that fight? You wanted to blow it all up? You could have won, and your life could've been different.
I think - that scared you.
- No, not really.
I made a mistake the way I left leaving at all.
Let's go somewhere after the fight.
Take me to Soldier's Pond like old times.
Yeah.
- Well, if by "old times" you mean - I mean old times, Tommy.
All of it.
What about I don't win the fight? Honestly? It'd be easier for me to leave Rico if he wins.
The only reason he wants to do this fight is because he knows a part of me never left you.
That's not true.
Listen I'll gladly take you to Soldier's Pond.
You know that, but uh either Mom or this moppet will have to tag along.
I got the bond on me.
Yeah.
Just apologize to the guy.
He'll drop the charges.
Your mom didn't want you to know.
Man She'll find some way to muck with the old man's parole next.
- Mm-hmm.
- Just watch.
Yeah.
I don't deem worthy Of half that stock Baby, you've changed (WOMAN HARMONIZING) (SULTRY MUSIC) Oh! (KEYS JANGLING) Got a hot date or something? I was about to meditate on my last night in captivity.
- What are you doing? - (SHATTERING) What the? What are you doing?! What?! Oh! What?! I got a little call about you.
Someone phoned in and snitched that you were hoarding contraband.
Gee! Bad contraband too.
(DOG BARKING OUTSIDE) Oh! Tomorrow's your big day.
I thought you'd be home counting sheep.
I figure why be at my best if I'm just gonna lie down and take a nap in the middle of it all? So you are gonna throw the fight? Ah ha! Not like you had a choice in the matter.
Aw, come on, Tommy! This doesn't have to be it.
I mean, look at how far we've come already! I mean, you are back in the game.
That in itself is a victory.
So we can get another fight easy once the once the dust settles on this one.
Ha! We are on our way up the ladder, and I can guarantee you that you are gonna land on your feet after you land on your back in the middle of the 5th.
Ha ha! Cheers.
(DRAMATIC JAZZ MUSIC) Ah! Heh heh.