Little Mosque on the Prairie (2007) s01e06 Episode Script
The Archdeacon Cometh
Doing your own "Joe jobs" now I see.
Join the clergy, learn to trade.
I can't afford to hire some help.
Oh I hear you, I just got off the phone with the archdeacon.
He informed me he's coming to visit us on Sunday.
He's very concerned about the profitability of the church.
That doesn't sound very charitable.
Christianity hasn't last for 2000 years by being charitable.
You can't run a church like a business.
So I've been told, three times in the last half hour.
Powers at beyond are thinking closing you down.
Oh I hope not, my poor congregation, for some of them, my sermon is the only time to get any sleep.
Doesn't the rent for our mosque make a difference? Keep that off the ledge, without we have no hither power.
What help if I spoke to to the archdeacon ? Oh what a wonderful idea, I'll have the imam from the mosque the archdeacon knows nothing about talk to him.
I guess it's a good idea I took the sign down Oh no, no, it's a great idea.
No sign of Amaar, no sign of Yasir, no sign above the door! Laziness, inaptitude, irresponsibility.
How can we be a positive example for the white community when we behave just like them? S01E06 : The Archdeacon Cometh vost english Ortho : Till Vidsrc : HDTV.
XviD-FBN Many thanks to the director, you've heard our call ! Fred Topper now speaks English with an understandable accent ! Now if you could do the same thing with Yasir and Baber - We can' allow the arch - deacon.
to shut down the church, it's a blow, to religious diversity.
It's also the end of your rent free office space.
Amaar, that didn't even enter my mind, I don't You've gonna have to raise money, how about a begsite ? There aren't enough Rice Krispies squares in the world.
Then you gonna have to grow your congregation.
I'm afraid these days the grimreaper comes to visit far more often than the stork does.
What if Muslims come on Sunday, posing as christians? You can't pretend to be christian.
Actually you can, half of my congregation does.
But we're Muslims, it would be a sin to pretend otherwise.
We don't have to pretend, we just attend the Anglican, what you call it, service thingy and the archwhoever will say, "I presume they're Anglican".
Not if he hears you talk.
Sarah can help, she can coach us, she used to play on your team.
It's dishonest.
Well then it's back to meeting in my basement, christians too, but that's ok, there's plenty of room between the washer and the dryer.
My parishians've had their baptisms and marriages in this church, they would die if they couldn't have their funerals here too.
The dilemma is, is this ethical? No, the dilemma is, can we get away with it? Well, there is a saying of the prophet -peace be upon him- that Muslim should help their christian neighbors rebuild their churches if they burned down.
Sounds to me like you just came up with a theological justification for Yasir's crazy scheme.
God bless Islam.
We'll need everyone in the mosque to help.
Not everyone, Baber already hates the fact that we're in a church, this will kill him.
As tempting as that is, I think you're right, we should leave him out of this one.
But and we pass as Anglican.
If God is on our side or at least we'll need to look the other way.
Quit moaning, you're not on the radio.
- My back is killing me.
- You need medical attention.
Oh no thanks, all doctors are quacks.
I agree, you need a real medicine like this.
Free of charge.
Honey, the only ones worst than a doctor's a witch doctor.
And I'm not saying that cuz you're black.
You're a buffoon, and I'm not just saying that, cuz you're white.
You know nothing about traditional medicine.
I wouldn't waste a brain cell trying to find out.
Yes, I imagine you are in short supply.
Good one, I'll have to use it on my show, about somebody other than myself of course.
Guaranteed to work, or your money back.
Well, I guess that free doesn't harm at trying.
Apply this to your lower-back three times a day.
- I'll be a new man? - That would be nice.
Upper there, much better, nobody takes part in our mosque but all Baber.
At least it will be more difficult to take down now.
Well, it looks like gangrene, we'll probably gonna have to amputate your torso.
It's that voodoo gum Fatima gave me.
I think it glows in the dark.
Well, it will keep you from sneaking up on yourself.
Very funny, what do I do about it? Hum try soap.
I mean about the pain in my back.
Well we've reviewed your X-rays, you have degenerative disk disease in your Lombard spine.
Degenerative? How long do I have left? Oh don't worry, you're a good candidate for surgery.
Oh no, take my name off the ballot, sister.
I'd rather stick with the green goo.
Yeah you do that, it will reduce the risk that you're ever gonna procreate.
I am not going under the knife.
I'm going back to see Fatima.
Look, you're just going to be bedridden and in constant pain.
You Muslims have some bedside manners.
I don't remember much about growing Anglican but I must have been there.
It will comes back to its life, right in a bite.
- Yeah, with more kneeling.
- You do remember! You know there was this one little thing, I used to have this little white hat that I wore at every service, it was so cute, I wonder where it went.
Get the hat! It will help.
What is he taking you into this time, mum.
Why do you always assume we're up to something? Because you're always up to something.
No, you see there's this problem and Actually, I'm too tired.
- Ok, this is it, we're up to something.
- Ok.
Will your hat be or not? - Well I'll have to do some brushing up.
- Yes.
Do we have a New Testament hanging around here somewhere? - New testament? - Yeah, or an Old Testament? If we had a new testament, surely I would have thrown up the old one.
Coffee, please.
By the way hon', that gum you gave me was junk.
Perhaps you weren't using enough.
My back looks like a piece of kryptonite, I think that's enough.
Fine, I have an oral medication that's much more effective.
How d'you know? I don't do drugs.
Really, then where d'you get your opinions? Two tea spoons, in a glass of water, three times a day.
It will help your back, and your colon.
What's wrong with my colon? You're full of crap.
Take my medicine or go back to Rayyan.
Give it here it's better than surgery.
You're sure it's safe? I gave away plenty of my medicine in Nigeria, nobody died.
Of course, I haven't been back in many years.
That makes me feel so much better.
Hey, Fatima, are you giving him "medicine" again? If he dies, I'll apologize.
It's not nice to give people false hopes with your little folk remedies.
It's not nice to give people false hopes with your little medical diploma.
Snooping, medling, busy bunny icon.
Yasir! Baber, I was just talking about you.
Talking to who? And what are you doing with our sign? Our sign? It's much too small.
Yes, it's so embarrassing to have this puny board hanging about the door of our beloved mosque.
That's why Amaar took it down, and some idiot put it back up.
Can you believe it? People have no pride.
Now, let's keep it down until we find a better one.
Something, big, grand, spectacular! We'll meet next week.
Next week, I say let's order the new sign today.
Let's shout Islam from the rooftops.
And now, here's everything you've always wanted to know about Christianity but were afraid to be converted.
Welcome sister Sarah.
Thank you.
Oh, where to begin? Um ok well, Christianity started a long long time ago.
Good for you Fatima, how did you know that? I have a calendar.
Tough crowd.
Yasir, yes, do you have a question? Yes, my seat smells, is that why they call it a pew? You'd better behave, you'll get the strap.
I promise.
- Do something exciting.
- Like what? Oh I know, communion.
Sister Sarah, why don't you tell us all about communion? Well, communion, is where the minister blesses the wafers and the grapejuice to represent the body and blood of Christ.
- Why? - So we can eat them.
I will not engage in cannibalism.
Maybe we can start the singing.
Oh, that's good, ok.
A hymn, we'll do a hymn.
Allright, hymn number Very good, very good, everybody can sit down.
Oh, reverend Mcgee.
- Sorry I'm late - No,no, you're just in time.
Yes, we've already done the hymn but we'll do it again, Fatima, would you lead us off? Stop stop stop ! - This is horrible, a disaster! - It is? But they're getting better all the time.
Exactly, that's not Anglican.
The archdeacon will see right through them.
And the way they all stood, all at once, it was such a vigour, no no! The older congregants jump right up as though we've just opened up the buffet.
And then some of them lag behind because they're stone death.
And there's always the ones who drag themselves up like teenagers that've been asked to do the dishes.
Now you see, now allright common! Let's try, rising again.
Let's get this perfectly wrong people, the archdeacon comes on Sunday.
The archdeacon is coming!!! The archdeacon is coming!!! Hello, I'm the archdeacon Gladwin.
Oh, you're the janitor.
Yes, yes.
Your holiness, how's the Vatican? What are you talking about, what kind of an Anglican are you? Lapsed since birth.
Where is Magee? I want to have a look around - Wait!!! - What? You're the archdeacon! I told you that already.
I wondered where I'd heard it! Archdeacon Gladwin, you're early, I thought you were coming on Sunday.
Oh, I shot down the church in Dog River, there was nothing going on, so I thought I'd come a few days earlier, is that a problem? You'll be here through the weekend, oh, how wonderful.
I want a tour of the church, now.
Of course, of course, I was just thinking that perhaps we might want to have a glass of wine first.
Oh, the wine can wait.
Well of course, after all the Margot has already waited 35 years.
You've got a '72 Margot? Well, I wouldn't want to slayful your hospitality What is wrong with you? Well I've made a scenario down to a couple of possibilities.
African killer bees, or a killer African! You're not using enough.
Why? Because I'm still alive? You were supposed to fix my back.
Your back is a symptom of your crippled thoughts.
It's only racism coming out from you.
Oh no I wish not, there's plenty more over there where that came from.
You have a poisonned soul.
Damn the green back, then I might be coming down with the black plague, and a little fever.
If it doesn't clear up, you can eat here free for the rest of your life.
Which might allow me to have two last meal at this rate.
Thank goodness I've diverted him, you should've seen me.
Maggee says you're a clever little janitor.
That's what you'd like, isn't it? All the trouble we go through to save your free office space.
I'm nothing if not noble.
What are we going to do on Sunday to hide all those headscarves? - Easter bonnets? - It's not Easter.
- When is Easter? - April.
That's when baby Jesus sees his own shadow right? Be quiet.
Nice work with the hats.
Easter pray meets monster truck rally.
Today's parabol of the two brothers illustrates the sin of lying.
And we all know the wages of sin! Our death! Better by far to be the tax collector or the prostitute, What? Me? who answers God's call honestly, than he who just says what he thinks God wants to hear.
Terrible is the punishment of he who defies the Lord! Even the little children! Can he escape the eye bold beasten skin-peeling agony, of hell! Allright A message for the entire family.
Now, all we've got to do is get the speaker soaked up.
And so ends the service.
Go to love, and serve the Lord.
Amen.
Shhh, once, that'll do.
Can I go now? I have to get back to the café.
- What happened to day of rest? - What happened to Muslims? Nice try Maggee, but you don't expect me to believe that these people are your regular congregation? Well I suppose not.
It's astonishing that you managed to convert so many Muslims to Anglicanism in just one week.
They say the missionary impulse is dead, good work.
Well, I'm glad you're satisfied.
Lovely, I can hardly wait for the third quarter returns.
We should go count the collection plate, perhaps have we drink to celebrate.
Looks like your plan worked.
You're almost more surprised than I am.
What was that? Too loud, turn it off! What the heck is that? Call to prayer, what kind of Muslim are you? What are you doing? What you never do, finish your job! Our little mosque will be the envy of the prairies.
Mosque? There's a mosque on church property? Yes, I'm afraid news of their conversion was slightly premature.
What are you playing at? Inter-faith experiment? With some Christian exchange program.
- Church - Enough! Your office, now.
I'm not a prostitute.
So, how'd you like the new sign? Your face looks better.
My back is worst.
Good, now you're ready.
Ready for what? You've been asking for this for a long time.
What are you doing? Get your mitts off.
It feels a lot better.
I'll take that as a thank you.
I hadn't felt this good for a long time.
What are you doing? You shouldn't be jumping around with your condition.
What condition? Fatima cured me.
Oh yes, I've seen this before, he's talked himself into believing that your medicine worked.
You've talked yourself into believing you're a doctor.
The stuff you gave him should have been tested in double warrant clinical trials for months.
Forgive me, I only use medicine that's been tested in my country for thousands of years.
Ok, whatever.
You'll be back in my office in a week.
Yeah, to gloat.
Fatima sweetheart, that lotion crap you gave me for my back, that was just a soften it up so you can fix me right? No, I wanted to see you suffer a little bit longer.
Lying, cheating, pretending and you call yourself a minister? Well, not anymore, I guess now I'm a minister without portfolio.
Will you stop feeling sorry for yourself? Well, I've just started feeling sorry for myself.
Your little subterfuge is over.
You're shutting us down.
What? With the money-making mosque on the property? No, these Muslims are a godsend.
No, I was just getting sure we get our cut, you know? I need that money to run the church! I'm sorry, did someone gave you the impression the Anglican church is a democracy? No, the diocese wants their money.
Right, I get to keep my church, I just can't afford to run it.
Oh, I'm a poor ruined minister.
Maggee, don't make me do all the work.
If you can't keep it afloat, call me.
And I'll make sure the diocese closes you down.
Allright, ta-dah! Did you solve the problem? I'm afraid not, the mosque can't afford to pay more.
And there's no more money in the parish.
Don't be defeatists, think like businessmen.
Find an asset that's not making money, turn it into a profit sector.
- That hadn't occurred to us.
- No, no.
There must be some place in the building that's not maximizing its potential.
But isn't that ruthless? You've got to be ruthless believe me, if there's anything or anyone that's not pulling their weight, drag them into the office, turn them upside down shake out their pockets.
- You know, I think Yasir's right.
- Of course I'm right.
What d'you think we should charge? Oh, someone in the neighborhood.
What, charge who? Me? - Gentlemen, let's not be - Ruthless? This, is my free office space.
How could it be free, if I pay a rent? If we both grabbed a leg, do you think we could lift him up and shake out his pockets? What have I done to deserve this betrayal? What? Let's start at the beginning, shall we brother Yasir? Synch/Transcript : [dx.]
Ortho : Till
Join the clergy, learn to trade.
I can't afford to hire some help.
Oh I hear you, I just got off the phone with the archdeacon.
He informed me he's coming to visit us on Sunday.
He's very concerned about the profitability of the church.
That doesn't sound very charitable.
Christianity hasn't last for 2000 years by being charitable.
You can't run a church like a business.
So I've been told, three times in the last half hour.
Powers at beyond are thinking closing you down.
Oh I hope not, my poor congregation, for some of them, my sermon is the only time to get any sleep.
Doesn't the rent for our mosque make a difference? Keep that off the ledge, without we have no hither power.
What help if I spoke to to the archdeacon ? Oh what a wonderful idea, I'll have the imam from the mosque the archdeacon knows nothing about talk to him.
I guess it's a good idea I took the sign down Oh no, no, it's a great idea.
No sign of Amaar, no sign of Yasir, no sign above the door! Laziness, inaptitude, irresponsibility.
How can we be a positive example for the white community when we behave just like them? S01E06 : The Archdeacon Cometh vost english Ortho : Till Vidsrc : HDTV.
XviD-FBN Many thanks to the director, you've heard our call ! Fred Topper now speaks English with an understandable accent ! Now if you could do the same thing with Yasir and Baber - We can' allow the arch - deacon.
to shut down the church, it's a blow, to religious diversity.
It's also the end of your rent free office space.
Amaar, that didn't even enter my mind, I don't You've gonna have to raise money, how about a begsite ? There aren't enough Rice Krispies squares in the world.
Then you gonna have to grow your congregation.
I'm afraid these days the grimreaper comes to visit far more often than the stork does.
What if Muslims come on Sunday, posing as christians? You can't pretend to be christian.
Actually you can, half of my congregation does.
But we're Muslims, it would be a sin to pretend otherwise.
We don't have to pretend, we just attend the Anglican, what you call it, service thingy and the archwhoever will say, "I presume they're Anglican".
Not if he hears you talk.
Sarah can help, she can coach us, she used to play on your team.
It's dishonest.
Well then it's back to meeting in my basement, christians too, but that's ok, there's plenty of room between the washer and the dryer.
My parishians've had their baptisms and marriages in this church, they would die if they couldn't have their funerals here too.
The dilemma is, is this ethical? No, the dilemma is, can we get away with it? Well, there is a saying of the prophet -peace be upon him- that Muslim should help their christian neighbors rebuild their churches if they burned down.
Sounds to me like you just came up with a theological justification for Yasir's crazy scheme.
God bless Islam.
We'll need everyone in the mosque to help.
Not everyone, Baber already hates the fact that we're in a church, this will kill him.
As tempting as that is, I think you're right, we should leave him out of this one.
But and we pass as Anglican.
If God is on our side or at least we'll need to look the other way.
Quit moaning, you're not on the radio.
- My back is killing me.
- You need medical attention.
Oh no thanks, all doctors are quacks.
I agree, you need a real medicine like this.
Free of charge.
Honey, the only ones worst than a doctor's a witch doctor.
And I'm not saying that cuz you're black.
You're a buffoon, and I'm not just saying that, cuz you're white.
You know nothing about traditional medicine.
I wouldn't waste a brain cell trying to find out.
Yes, I imagine you are in short supply.
Good one, I'll have to use it on my show, about somebody other than myself of course.
Guaranteed to work, or your money back.
Well, I guess that free doesn't harm at trying.
Apply this to your lower-back three times a day.
- I'll be a new man? - That would be nice.
Upper there, much better, nobody takes part in our mosque but all Baber.
At least it will be more difficult to take down now.
Well, it looks like gangrene, we'll probably gonna have to amputate your torso.
It's that voodoo gum Fatima gave me.
I think it glows in the dark.
Well, it will keep you from sneaking up on yourself.
Very funny, what do I do about it? Hum try soap.
I mean about the pain in my back.
Well we've reviewed your X-rays, you have degenerative disk disease in your Lombard spine.
Degenerative? How long do I have left? Oh don't worry, you're a good candidate for surgery.
Oh no, take my name off the ballot, sister.
I'd rather stick with the green goo.
Yeah you do that, it will reduce the risk that you're ever gonna procreate.
I am not going under the knife.
I'm going back to see Fatima.
Look, you're just going to be bedridden and in constant pain.
You Muslims have some bedside manners.
I don't remember much about growing Anglican but I must have been there.
It will comes back to its life, right in a bite.
- Yeah, with more kneeling.
- You do remember! You know there was this one little thing, I used to have this little white hat that I wore at every service, it was so cute, I wonder where it went.
Get the hat! It will help.
What is he taking you into this time, mum.
Why do you always assume we're up to something? Because you're always up to something.
No, you see there's this problem and Actually, I'm too tired.
- Ok, this is it, we're up to something.
- Ok.
Will your hat be or not? - Well I'll have to do some brushing up.
- Yes.
Do we have a New Testament hanging around here somewhere? - New testament? - Yeah, or an Old Testament? If we had a new testament, surely I would have thrown up the old one.
Coffee, please.
By the way hon', that gum you gave me was junk.
Perhaps you weren't using enough.
My back looks like a piece of kryptonite, I think that's enough.
Fine, I have an oral medication that's much more effective.
How d'you know? I don't do drugs.
Really, then where d'you get your opinions? Two tea spoons, in a glass of water, three times a day.
It will help your back, and your colon.
What's wrong with my colon? You're full of crap.
Take my medicine or go back to Rayyan.
Give it here it's better than surgery.
You're sure it's safe? I gave away plenty of my medicine in Nigeria, nobody died.
Of course, I haven't been back in many years.
That makes me feel so much better.
Hey, Fatima, are you giving him "medicine" again? If he dies, I'll apologize.
It's not nice to give people false hopes with your little folk remedies.
It's not nice to give people false hopes with your little medical diploma.
Snooping, medling, busy bunny icon.
Yasir! Baber, I was just talking about you.
Talking to who? And what are you doing with our sign? Our sign? It's much too small.
Yes, it's so embarrassing to have this puny board hanging about the door of our beloved mosque.
That's why Amaar took it down, and some idiot put it back up.
Can you believe it? People have no pride.
Now, let's keep it down until we find a better one.
Something, big, grand, spectacular! We'll meet next week.
Next week, I say let's order the new sign today.
Let's shout Islam from the rooftops.
And now, here's everything you've always wanted to know about Christianity but were afraid to be converted.
Welcome sister Sarah.
Thank you.
Oh, where to begin? Um ok well, Christianity started a long long time ago.
Good for you Fatima, how did you know that? I have a calendar.
Tough crowd.
Yasir, yes, do you have a question? Yes, my seat smells, is that why they call it a pew? You'd better behave, you'll get the strap.
I promise.
- Do something exciting.
- Like what? Oh I know, communion.
Sister Sarah, why don't you tell us all about communion? Well, communion, is where the minister blesses the wafers and the grapejuice to represent the body and blood of Christ.
- Why? - So we can eat them.
I will not engage in cannibalism.
Maybe we can start the singing.
Oh, that's good, ok.
A hymn, we'll do a hymn.
Allright, hymn number Very good, very good, everybody can sit down.
Oh, reverend Mcgee.
- Sorry I'm late - No,no, you're just in time.
Yes, we've already done the hymn but we'll do it again, Fatima, would you lead us off? Stop stop stop ! - This is horrible, a disaster! - It is? But they're getting better all the time.
Exactly, that's not Anglican.
The archdeacon will see right through them.
And the way they all stood, all at once, it was such a vigour, no no! The older congregants jump right up as though we've just opened up the buffet.
And then some of them lag behind because they're stone death.
And there's always the ones who drag themselves up like teenagers that've been asked to do the dishes.
Now you see, now allright common! Let's try, rising again.
Let's get this perfectly wrong people, the archdeacon comes on Sunday.
The archdeacon is coming!!! The archdeacon is coming!!! Hello, I'm the archdeacon Gladwin.
Oh, you're the janitor.
Yes, yes.
Your holiness, how's the Vatican? What are you talking about, what kind of an Anglican are you? Lapsed since birth.
Where is Magee? I want to have a look around - Wait!!! - What? You're the archdeacon! I told you that already.
I wondered where I'd heard it! Archdeacon Gladwin, you're early, I thought you were coming on Sunday.
Oh, I shot down the church in Dog River, there was nothing going on, so I thought I'd come a few days earlier, is that a problem? You'll be here through the weekend, oh, how wonderful.
I want a tour of the church, now.
Of course, of course, I was just thinking that perhaps we might want to have a glass of wine first.
Oh, the wine can wait.
Well of course, after all the Margot has already waited 35 years.
You've got a '72 Margot? Well, I wouldn't want to slayful your hospitality What is wrong with you? Well I've made a scenario down to a couple of possibilities.
African killer bees, or a killer African! You're not using enough.
Why? Because I'm still alive? You were supposed to fix my back.
Your back is a symptom of your crippled thoughts.
It's only racism coming out from you.
Oh no I wish not, there's plenty more over there where that came from.
You have a poisonned soul.
Damn the green back, then I might be coming down with the black plague, and a little fever.
If it doesn't clear up, you can eat here free for the rest of your life.
Which might allow me to have two last meal at this rate.
Thank goodness I've diverted him, you should've seen me.
Maggee says you're a clever little janitor.
That's what you'd like, isn't it? All the trouble we go through to save your free office space.
I'm nothing if not noble.
What are we going to do on Sunday to hide all those headscarves? - Easter bonnets? - It's not Easter.
- When is Easter? - April.
That's when baby Jesus sees his own shadow right? Be quiet.
Nice work with the hats.
Easter pray meets monster truck rally.
Today's parabol of the two brothers illustrates the sin of lying.
And we all know the wages of sin! Our death! Better by far to be the tax collector or the prostitute, What? Me? who answers God's call honestly, than he who just says what he thinks God wants to hear.
Terrible is the punishment of he who defies the Lord! Even the little children! Can he escape the eye bold beasten skin-peeling agony, of hell! Allright A message for the entire family.
Now, all we've got to do is get the speaker soaked up.
And so ends the service.
Go to love, and serve the Lord.
Amen.
Shhh, once, that'll do.
Can I go now? I have to get back to the café.
- What happened to day of rest? - What happened to Muslims? Nice try Maggee, but you don't expect me to believe that these people are your regular congregation? Well I suppose not.
It's astonishing that you managed to convert so many Muslims to Anglicanism in just one week.
They say the missionary impulse is dead, good work.
Well, I'm glad you're satisfied.
Lovely, I can hardly wait for the third quarter returns.
We should go count the collection plate, perhaps have we drink to celebrate.
Looks like your plan worked.
You're almost more surprised than I am.
What was that? Too loud, turn it off! What the heck is that? Call to prayer, what kind of Muslim are you? What are you doing? What you never do, finish your job! Our little mosque will be the envy of the prairies.
Mosque? There's a mosque on church property? Yes, I'm afraid news of their conversion was slightly premature.
What are you playing at? Inter-faith experiment? With some Christian exchange program.
- Church - Enough! Your office, now.
I'm not a prostitute.
So, how'd you like the new sign? Your face looks better.
My back is worst.
Good, now you're ready.
Ready for what? You've been asking for this for a long time.
What are you doing? Get your mitts off.
It feels a lot better.
I'll take that as a thank you.
I hadn't felt this good for a long time.
What are you doing? You shouldn't be jumping around with your condition.
What condition? Fatima cured me.
Oh yes, I've seen this before, he's talked himself into believing that your medicine worked.
You've talked yourself into believing you're a doctor.
The stuff you gave him should have been tested in double warrant clinical trials for months.
Forgive me, I only use medicine that's been tested in my country for thousands of years.
Ok, whatever.
You'll be back in my office in a week.
Yeah, to gloat.
Fatima sweetheart, that lotion crap you gave me for my back, that was just a soften it up so you can fix me right? No, I wanted to see you suffer a little bit longer.
Lying, cheating, pretending and you call yourself a minister? Well, not anymore, I guess now I'm a minister without portfolio.
Will you stop feeling sorry for yourself? Well, I've just started feeling sorry for myself.
Your little subterfuge is over.
You're shutting us down.
What? With the money-making mosque on the property? No, these Muslims are a godsend.
No, I was just getting sure we get our cut, you know? I need that money to run the church! I'm sorry, did someone gave you the impression the Anglican church is a democracy? No, the diocese wants their money.
Right, I get to keep my church, I just can't afford to run it.
Oh, I'm a poor ruined minister.
Maggee, don't make me do all the work.
If you can't keep it afloat, call me.
And I'll make sure the diocese closes you down.
Allright, ta-dah! Did you solve the problem? I'm afraid not, the mosque can't afford to pay more.
And there's no more money in the parish.
Don't be defeatists, think like businessmen.
Find an asset that's not making money, turn it into a profit sector.
- That hadn't occurred to us.
- No, no.
There must be some place in the building that's not maximizing its potential.
But isn't that ruthless? You've got to be ruthless believe me, if there's anything or anyone that's not pulling their weight, drag them into the office, turn them upside down shake out their pockets.
- You know, I think Yasir's right.
- Of course I'm right.
What d'you think we should charge? Oh, someone in the neighborhood.
What, charge who? Me? - Gentlemen, let's not be - Ruthless? This, is my free office space.
How could it be free, if I pay a rent? If we both grabbed a leg, do you think we could lift him up and shake out his pockets? What have I done to deserve this betrayal? What? Let's start at the beginning, shall we brother Yasir? Synch/Transcript : [dx.]
Ortho : Till