Live to Lead (2022) s01e06 Episode Script

1
["Love & Hate"
by Michael Kiwanuka playing]
Gloria Steinem is an acclaimed journalist,
trailblazing feminist organizer,
and a political activist.
When Gloria marshaled
a new age for equality,
she understood
it's the heart of each of us
that gives power to the sum of us.
[Steinem] I do think that we're always
trying to express this unique person
and also to make
empathetic connections with others.
I mean, there's a reason
why solitary confinement is torture.
You know, we need to be together.
This was inspired by Nelson Mandela,
who once said, "What counts in life
is not the mere fact that we have lived
[Meghan] it is what difference
we have made to the lives of others
that will determine
the significance of the life we lead."
[Harry] His life
left a lasting mark on the world.
A legacy that has helped inspire
so many others to stand up.
To fight for change and to become leaders.
[Harry] So this is in memory of Madiba.
[Meghan] It was made to remind us
of the difference one person can make.
[Harry] It's about people
who have made brave choices,
leaders who have walked alongside him
and followed in his footsteps.
[Meghan] Caring for others,
working for a better and more equal world.
[Harry] And giving inspiration
to the rest of us
to live to lead.
You can't break me down
You can't take me down ♪
You can't take me down
You can't break me down ♪
You can't take me down ♪
[interviewer] What really matters
to you, Gloria?
[chuckles to self] Apparently everything.
This is a problem.
Uh, but I think
you go for what's authentic
or what's an emergency
or what is empathetic.
You know, in the end, what matters
is what makes a personal connection to you
and also connects you to other people.
[news anchor] And liftoff. Liftoff.
And the shuttle has cleared the tower.
[female 1] As Sally Ride's mother watched
her astronaut daughter blast into space,
reporters heard her say,
"God bless Gloria Steinem."
[unheard dialogue]
[female 2] Feminist activist
Gloria Steinem.
[female 1] writings about
the changing landscape of sexual politics.
[female 2] Gloria Steinem has been
in the forefront
of the women's movement in this country
for more than half a century.
Because of her work,
more women are afforded
the respect and opportunities
that they deserve.
But she also changed
how women thought about themselves.
["Don't Wanna Fight"
by Alabama Shakes playing]
your life
Don't cross them lines ♪
What you like, what I like ♪
Why can't we both be right? ♪
[Steinem] A lot of things you see now,
you never would have seen before.
Women marching for themselves.
We've marched
for every movement that exists,
everything else except ourselves.
And now, to see women
supporting other women
and standing up for their own rights
is really very, very moving.
It's just possible that historians
will look back at this time
and say that for the first time,
the human animal
stopped dividing itself up
according to visible difference,
according to race or according to sex,
and started to look for the real
and the human potential inside.
Right on.
[audience applauds]
You think about the human race
as a bird with two wings,
you understand that
if one is damaged or broken,
no one can fly.
We are here tonight
to make sure the human race can fly.
I remember when I first moved to New York,
and I was walking
in one of the main avenues here,
and I looked across the street,
and I saw a woman
in an Australian oilcloth raincoat,
cowboy boots, cowboy hat,
walking,
no purse
Somehow important to me
she didn't have a purse, okay. [laughs]
And I only saw her for, like, 30 seconds,
and I thought, "That is the first
free woman I've ever seen in my life."
"I wanna be a free woman too."
And that was a tiny, tiny moment.
So I think the person who's already in you
seizes on things that are gonna help
develop that unique person.
I would go to school until Halloween,
and then it would get cold,
and my father would say,
"It's time to put everything
in the house trailer
and go to Florida or California."
I didn't know any other way of life,
except in the movies, which I envied.
I would see all those kids with houses
and picket fences and, you know.
But I've grown to appreciate,
in later adult life,
a childhood that, at the time,
I probably would have traded
to be like everyone else.
'Cause I can't do math to this day.
That's a problem.
I was profoundly lucky.
My father had no interest
in any kind of religion or spirituality,
but the women in the family,
my mother and both of my grandmothers,
were theosophists.
So they kind of believed in reincarnation.
And the theosophical idea of child-rearing
is that your duty, as parents,
is to love and care for that child
and help that child
become who they already are.
This is kind of a great philosophy
because it means you don't have to
be just like Uncle Harry, you know,
or, you know, the whole family.
So I was lucky in that way.
I always wanted to be a writer.
I was trying to write
about what I was curious about
or what I thought
wasn't well-known enough.
There was no social justice movement
that I knew of.
Uh, all I knew really
was that my mother cried
when she heard President Roosevelt's name
because he had got us
out of the Depression.
So I felt some connection
to the government.
I knew that was important.
[old interview] I think
in early childhood,
I mean, as a really little girl,
I had the idea that I could be something,
even if it was
a pretty conventional thing.
And then the adolescent period came along
and just the role, the whole female role,
just came down like a vice.
And then I began to think
that I couldn't be anything.
Even a conventional thing,
I had to marry it.
Honey, when was the last time
you baked a cake?
Last week, dear.
And the whole, you know,
feeling that you had to find somebody
who wanted to do
what you also wanted to do in life
and attach yourself to that person,
was really very, very strong.
[present day] And I began to understand
that my experience was not just mine
but an almost universal female experience.
- [man] Have you ever been married?
- No. Uh-uh.
That's all?
Yeah, well. Next question.
["Bloodless" by Andrew Bird playing]
[present day] I don't think
I understood the need for a movement
until I went to cover an abortion hearing.
I had had an abortion
when I first graduated from college
and had never told anyone.
This is a real march of conscience.
Each of you has sacrificed.
Each knows exactly why we are here.
Some of us have had abortions.
I have.
For many reasons, we had to choose
between giving birth to someone else
and giving birth to ourselves.
[crowd applauds and cheers]
The difference from five years ago
to now is huge.
Every issue which has been taken up
by the women's movement,
either it wasn't an issue
that was even spoken of before
or it was a minority issue.
And now every single one of them
is supported by a majority of Americans,
women and men.
I would say
the single most important thing
is that I am fortunate enough to be alive
in a time of social justice movements.
A movement just means you have
friends who are doing the same thing,
that's what a movement is.
I'm one of millions of women
engaged in this movement,
and it's kind of accidental
that people know some of us
more than the rest of us
but that it really is
a from-the-bottom-up,
grassroots, organic kind of revolution
that's happening,
and there's no stopping it.
I can make it come faster, I hope,
but no one can stop.
[present day] I began to leave
half the time to talk with the audience,
partly because I didn't wanna talk all
I, literally, didn't wanna talk
all the time.
But in that way,
I discovered how much more
fun and exciting
and full of learning it is.
- Okay, questions from everyone in the
- Or answers, answers. [laughs]
[interviewer] Yeah.
Organizing announcement!
[present day] Just the simple idea
of both listening and talking.
Talking as much as you listen
and listen as much, you know,
that if you just equalize those things,
that that's kind of
instant democracy right there.
I mean, the circle is the natural form.
So I find if you're sitting in a circle,
that already makes a difference.
And if, from the beginning,
each person's voice is heard,
if you go around at least once
so everyone,
no matter what you say, everyone
It makes you into a group,
and that is
as almost important as air and water.
We have not been sitting around campfires
for over 100,000 years,
telling each other
our stories for nothing.
It is in our cellular memory
that this is the way we communicate.
This is the way we know
what the other person is feeling.
And ultimately, the way we know
that we are linked and not ranked.
I want that to be my legacy. Thank you.
[audience applauds]
[interviewer] So what does
leadership mean to you?
Uh, well, leadership
mainly means "by example."
I think we do what we see
way, way, way more than what we're told.
So when we see somebody who is, um,
achieving or realizing something
that we also
want to achieve or realize, uh,
and especially
if we can relate to that person.
So it's not that women
can only relate to women
or Black people can
But if everybody doesn't look like you,
it's it's difficult.
You need to know that there are
some other people who look like you,
who've accomplished
what you want to accomplish.
Because society had told me
that my group was
second-class or supportive at best,
I kind of believed it.
And if I got a little bit up in the world,
I didn't want to associate
with members of my own group.
That kind of dislike
of oneself and of one's own group
is something that the women's movement
has helped to cure,
and it's very joyful now
to see women making a connection
with other women.
Because, at last, we respect ourselves.
If there is one message
that echoes forth from this conference,
let it be that human rights
are women's rights,
and women's rights are human rights
once and for all.
I have found that people
describe me in many different ways.
Some people call me
"the girl who was shot by the Taliban."
And some,
"the girl who fought for her rights."
Because I know what's inside
of girls like you and like me.
I know how hard
we'll fight for our families,
how deeply we care about our communities,
how much of a difference
we can make for those around us.
I am inviting you to step forward,
to be seen.
And to ask yourself, "If not me, who?"
"If not now, when?"
For there is always light
if only we're brave enough to see it.
If only we're brave enough
to be it.
[crowd breaks into applause]
[Steinem] I think
[applause continues]
it's important to understand
that we are each unique
and also share our humanity,
uh, and that
the family is the root of everything.
If there's a hierarchy in the family
which says that
men don't do the dishes,
or worse, that there's violence,
that is reflected everywhere else.
The one virtue about computers and so on,
is that now we can prove this.
We can show that the single biggest
determinant of whether a country
will be violent inside itself,
in its streets
or will be willing to use
military violence against another country,
is not poverty,
not access to natural resources,
um, not degree of democracy, even,
or religion,
it's violence against females.
Not because female life is any more
important than male life. It's not.
But because of patriarchy
and controlling reproduction
and controlling the one thing
men don't have, which is wombs,
and half the human race
can only control the other half
with violence or the threat of violence.
So that if you see that
in your household,
you come to believe it's inevitable
and that one group
is meant to dominate another.
And we can see it all around us.
If you look at terrorist groups,
you will find they are
extremely gender polarized,
extremely polarized.
If you look at peaceful
or more democratic groups,
they're way less polarized.
So if we can learn that,
I think it also empowers us
because we know how we educate our kids,
how we receive this unique person
and make sure we listen to that person
and not just tell them what to do.
It's the That is the root of a larger,
both democratic and peaceful possibility.
If we raised one generation of children
without violence and humiliation,
we have no idea what might be possible.
Hmm, what does the world
need more of right now?
I am torn between two things.
Saying that we need to meet
with all five senses more,
on the one hand,
and saying that we need
a big fact-checking service, on the other.
Because a degree
of honesty and authenticity
is necessary for trust.
Nothing works without trust,
because it's like
This is my favorite instinct story.
If it walks like a duck,
it looks like a duck
it quacks like a duck
and you think it's a pig,
it's a pig, all right? So
so I think there's a
kind of No, I mean, you kind of know
when somebody is authentically themselves
or being honest.
You know authenticity
when you see it, probably,
you know? That's
It's so valuable. Um
Don't fail to trust yourself.
The difference between movements
and political campaigns or corporations
is authenticity.
And what that means is,
whatever it is that we are doing,
we are going to fuck up.
And that's okay.
- And we have to
- [applause breaks out]
We just have to be able to say
we're sorry and move on.
And we should value, it seems to me,
spontaneity over reputation even,
over legacy even, over, you know,
just the ability
to be our authentic selves in the moment
is so valuable and so important
that it is worth the struggle and the pain
that comes in many ways
from being misunderstood
and thought to be someone you are not.
[thunderous applause]
You know, we are just,
literally, factually,
each of us is a combination
of heredity and environment
in a unique way
that could never have happened before
and could never happen again.
And we share all of humanity.
And we very much need people
who respect difference, you know,
who don't expect sameness,
who see each person as unique.
You know, I as far as I know,
every human being has the potential
for empathy in varying degrees.
I think, probably females
and some other groups are
can become empathy sick
because you know
what someone else is feeling
better than you know what you are feeling.
So I often say to women,
"Look, the golden rule was great,
written by a smart guy for guys."
"Do unto others as you would
do unto you."
But women probably need to reverse it.
We need to learn to treat ourselves
as well as we treat other people.
In a very profound way,
I've learned that money is boring.
[laughs] Because, I mean, okay,
we all need enough to eat
and a nice place to live
and going dancing.
But, uh, we're made to think
that rich people,
just because they are rich,
are interesting.
So not true.
I wanna go give a course
at Harvard Business School
called "Money is Boring," and
and a little sub-seminar called
"How Much is Enough?"
Because I think, you know, we're just
made to feel that accumulating is great.
Uh, there was a young girl
named Gloria Steinem
who arrived in New York,
to make her mark as a journalist,
and magazines
only wanted her to write articles like
"How to Cook
Without Really Cooking For Men."
[audience laughs]
Gloria noticed things
like that. [chuckles]
[audience chuckles]
She's been called a "champion noticer."
She's alert to all the ways,
large and small, that women
had been, and in some cases,
continue to be treated unfairly
just because they're women.
As a writer, a speaker, an activist,
she awakened a vast
and often skeptical public
to problems like domestic violence,
a lack of affordable childcare,
unfair hiring practices.
I've been lucky
to be alive at the right time.
It's a gift in every possible way.
It's a gift
because you do learn from difference,
and it's also multi-generational.
I think age segregation is as terrible
as any other kind of segregation.
If you're old, you have hope
because you remember when it was worse,
and if you're young, you're mad as hell
'cause it should be better.
So we need both those things.
- [crowd cheers]
- You look great!
I wish you could see yourselves.
It's like an ocean!
[crowd cheering and whistling]
Hate generalizes. Love specifies.
That's pretty good for four words, right?
Thank you for understanding
that sometimes we must put our bodies
where our beliefs are.
It's kind of fundamental
that we don't learn from sameness.
We learn from difference.
I've been thinking about
the uses of a long life,
and one of them is that
you remember when things were worse.
We remember the death of the future
with Martin Luther King,
with Jack Kennedy,
with Bobby Kennedy, with Malcolm X.
[dramatic music playing]
This is the upside of the downside.
This is an outpouring of energy
and true democracy
like I have never seen
in my very long life.
[crowd cheering]
It is wide in age,
it is deep in diversity,
and remember, the Constitution
does not begin with "I the president,"
it begins with "We the People."
[crowd yelling]
So don't try to divide us.
Do not try to divide us!
If you force Muslims to register,
we will all register as Muslim!
We are here and around the world
for a deep democracy that says,
"We will not be quiet."
"We will work for a world
in which all countries are connected."
Make sure you introduce yourselves
to each other
and decide what we're gonna do
tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
and we're never turning back. Thank you.
[enthusiastic cheering]
That's so hard because I don't know
what would she listen to?
Uh
I guess, I would just say,
one, "It's gonna be all right."
And, two, "You can't possibly predict
what's going to happen,
so just enjoy it as it comes."
[interviewer] How do you
wanna be remembered?
I I just think as a good person
with a good heart
who tried to leave, um,
the world or my part of,
you know a little
more just and less violent and more kind
than it was when I showed up.
We have to remember
to never worry about what we should do,
but do whatever we can.
[audience applauds]
Change our language,
broaden our friendships,
object to injustice in everyday life,
support the weakest among us,
challenge the strongest among us.
We are meant [chuckles]
to be communal animals.
We're meant to be together.
["I Will Love You" by Gin Wigmore playing]
Don't you let us
Don't you let us ♪
Lose to an early grave ♪
Give me a lifetime
And then 15 more ♪
To find the words
That will ever explain ♪
How I need you
How I see you ♪
How you are everything that I am ♪
How you are everything that I am ♪